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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA9 l* N$ `; u3 F+ p
0 Z6 i$ k& b/ w: L0 G' \1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. 9 p1 S& q, I4 i3 k8 W6 S
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 5 L: W# @2 l4 ?- M( H
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
2 Z. m$ B" Y8 R# u5 [1 ^4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. ) j7 w, I) ^2 ~1 q4 l5 T m# W
5. Weed . J9 N! V: } x- R, O" z
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
0 t0 d% H' D0 M8 X) b" U1 q T2. Ottawa who?
$ N& Y6 f' `" |: v) r/ Y+ g3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. R$ N+ }. |. u3 L
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. 6 [7 M' m& S# Q
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
1 v+ q( X7 D' F' `. `9 y6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. ( \% z( R# H% A' p. @
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN 5 [- {- V- {. `/ s' v; h7 S' ?
0 i, t7 ?* x B( n8 D! J4 J1. You never run out of wheat. + w' \4 l) g/ G8 o. L" s
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
# r+ x% C& e, t3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. 3 ?3 h2 h4 `/ ?9 F
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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; i! |. p# J6 r+ E4 ^" S) sTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. , \8 l# K. p7 e: P% b2 r
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. 5 h4 _! i/ E! e3 x$ p0 Y$ ^
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. 4 B& D6 m Z3 g/ Z! \# l1 V
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
- I, v1 v" z8 ]1 C+ {! d$ `7 T5 Z5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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. Z9 a! D# b+ f6 TTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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D& o( v; i3 p( y1. You live in the centre of the universe.
) c/ ~9 m6 ?' k2 Q# w) y: ?* l2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. t; r$ D- E" [
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
4 ^6 O' V; t! e3 i: G4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. : A2 ~0 _3 }2 d5 Y9 g k/ C' \$ d& H
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC 5 ~2 H2 S3 y: N
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
0 y8 E' J+ P6 f. D2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
6 {: h) ?. J; o2 V- ~3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
5 n' p) ] `* p4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *" P Z& F5 ?& J) E8 Z: y7 i
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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3 r' t) \; V) u5 _) T7 i- O1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
2 i4 W& \$ O4 W. F5 R+ ~) F2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
9 {0 P% s- W! h' C0 F3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick " W, e& O, g0 j# m. r5 C! ?
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. " U9 @/ l* y% s4 O
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
% e' }+ |& ` G2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
6 s: o' Y$ w! o, D$ Q8 r V3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. 7 X5 q+ g. c- z
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. 2 x. \1 |5 b% E8 s: d: o
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
8 A; v6 u9 \( w6 Q3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
! {4 _4 K3 e# v6 B- _3 Y1 I4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
; E, _# A' Q! O. n+ i5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
/ A8 R) W( m5 n& q6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. * }, n9 N1 f5 q( g# _6 R& k
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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' H& i3 T2 w8 j1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. ) z0 F& `, z# v: W: A2 W
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
' L' ?" c% b, x3. The workday is about two hours long. ! |! J. {& R' q) S' m
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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