In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

In the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
; j+ w/ m; H% @3 |2 {Nourished with my soul
. y" S2 x0 i0 oDevoured my sorrow by thee

In the memory of my life
You planted a dream
" T9 L% A& I1 S) c) ?# Y3 X2 h3 A( FShould the sky fall down on me
/ m1 M+ l7 k1 n  Z0 L  |: T8 @May promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
Bursting the love out of me

[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
7 o  d. t% X0 B7 H1 V
In the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
- R0 n. \# _. D% UFrom sunset til dawn
9 M# `- U" k9 XThrough darkness to light
3 z6 k" E- l/ F! S, Q  D  [Nourished with my soul
, h  Y8 b5 T# h4 F* MDevoured my so ...

2 J9 s4 Z* F* c$ J
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
% C# S: |9 k4 R1 K( E# G, y
* e: s7 G& B/ B1 b/ d写得真好。

3 U0 F3 V/ [. a加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
. y9 ?: Q7 l7 f) q写得真好。
加精加精！

我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
1 O9 `( b2 U& ]7 A
) D- T( N: j$ e3 n- ]: J/ _Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
) [% s" g8 {* n! E' \
0 {/ N0 N3 z- T8 ^2 ~Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
/ j- Z8 A4 h" `5 o9 m
- T& n+ I/ Q3 k7 l( j1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".

2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
- M- v3 W, _$ E4 ~4 k2 w, @
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
& t5 [% |1 P) A8 K5 Y, Gthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
/ S$ d. c9 v7 J: }7 f5 s5 q
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

5 e( q6 t0 P6 w* x
& i, [/ H$ e* C! }+ z诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
! v8 y0 D. o5 _% d
+ o  i& ]% x3 f- `4 ], SShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

7 P7 }4 P$ P% X, q: Y
0 T; i6 u% N% h3 e* O. E有啊，有很多经典的例子。
- C' G$ b1 A9 l3 t) p8 W7 q
: f. e; p$ o  c( W) C* Z比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

Don't weep at my grave
7 Y' {0 o+ Z% y  ?# z2 ~, Q; kFor I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
To dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.

" Q0 e3 |, n% ?: y. Z4 E  }Don't be sad
When you remember me,
For I'm singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
Flirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
Time and again,
4 b& O/ z' x( ~8 k9 i4 CSoaring with the eagle,
Swimming in the sea,
Enjoying all of nature
4 j  z2 X$ o' AWhile I'm waiting for thee.