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In the garden of my heart

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发表于 2006-6-25 01:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!- m- b1 U  _8 r- }% K& @1 h
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In the garden of my heart; }- k+ {6 G3 U4 Y0 A7 p6 E% v
You planted a tree
4 b( q5 B1 Q! V5 r$ yFrom sunset til dawn& u6 E: ^" F0 ^0 C
Through darkness to light
; f; p2 }9 X3 Z: SNourished with my soul, r- q2 k: ~% h, W+ E
Devoured my sorrow by thee, q$ O* W' Y1 q# F
1 W  {9 J  z6 o! J7 X8 R* j
In the memory of my life- d6 V4 h# \+ y# q! i8 h3 M- y
You planted a dream' \. x" T9 I2 c. b0 r
Should the sky fall down on me1 {1 K+ w/ H+ P2 W0 S6 D- b
May promises fade in the sea9 R6 u' h' F! f% Z* F/ @* R
Sewing back every broken pieces
* ?" R7 F9 v6 E7 [! ^Bursting the love out of me8 @: r& m; D" a" T5 Z$ M9 H8 k

( s0 N0 `% Y6 ?% C* l[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:08 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
& @: S- o5 e' X0 D5 x听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!" }1 S- @& S9 H& l+ D
! w- ~3 v8 h. T  r, K+ y
In the garden of my heart
6 H$ q2 ^4 d* ?9 k2 p3 G  D6 {You planted a tree3 A( f1 L* M# N4 F; s
From sunset til dawn
7 k, U# v; e% T4 j/ l' V9 ?4 LThrough darkness to light( b( \/ \# H& x3 q% y
Nourished with my soul
0 u! l; `  r7 z  p; O7 t- o) u1 FDevoured my so ...
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9 d1 x: V/ N( x4 B9 r眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?. @* N/ \  }8 A2 Y! A
0 ^2 f3 s; s3 b- J' \& M
写得真好。5 \+ F% ]: V/ o7 y3 a

7 O/ H5 j' B1 V" o% y; A2 |加精加精!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:20 | 显示全部楼层
哥们儿,你没喝多吧?没事就过来烧烟啊!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
汗!居然有2单词不认识。:(
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发表于 2006-6-25 03:41 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表1 x4 n7 p* K5 d0 x9 A: Q# b) O
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?
' |+ P) L. K7 _, f写得真好。# v: ~/ I3 ]4 u& ]# u8 E
加精加精!
8 A, S; j3 R. I9 @
我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗
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发表于 2006-6-25 05:31 | 显示全部楼层
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
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发表于 2006-6-29 09:57 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
: R3 T8 [" t* `; m如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

, Q. J+ E! ?- T五月JJ这个意境,想想实在是罗曼蒂克,不过在爱屯,海天相接是没有了,只有在湖畔雪山了:)
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发表于 2006-6-29 11:06 | 显示全部楼层
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
" }* E5 ^7 v" I" Z0 n" w
; x- l4 }8 [* Q$ g' W5 U9 hSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-6-29 18:23 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表6 y: i( F1 m0 D$ l6 X2 y: _
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.' U* L- R9 W. D* T- T8 p

7 J+ s/ t7 z2 J( ]% R7 MSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

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6 p8 h0 d: O/ r; NThanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
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/ W) m# F3 j- D. G2 d2 L% Q1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
2 S, }( B9 l8 U0 Y# Z' o0 `3 v. b  |) F! X5 i
2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.
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发表于 2006-6-30 01:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民,但很喜气!很有乐在其中的意境啊!
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2006-7-2 10:50 | 显示全部楼层
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。8 e  y3 v  _5 d: u

* S2 z5 c+ }, i% j! N& Q1 x. TShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
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发表于 2006-7-2 13:50 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表6 }0 H  z1 j% I/ }. O7 v
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
0 o) q! c" x. m% r# \! H
! y, K" i. f! K4 [. FShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
# P! i6 A: X, g& N  U; Q

6 [1 P$ E. p! ~& h诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-7-2 13:56 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表6 ^" d) ^5 j6 A) w' T6 C, K
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。" Q: [6 s, a7 A3 `8 S7 k' l- v+ b

/ i! Y) b& ~; V. \8 m% C$ h) iShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

9 V2 ]! D, A6 J% J2 _) r) d5 P' b! O8 `
有啊,有很多经典的例子。% ]9 n! |$ M1 _, k5 f$ u# D) _9 o; Z/ K9 ]
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比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》6 m7 J) m* \9 N

% t0 u6 |5 P2 S* N+ MDon't weep at my grave: ]! B# N& X4 ^2 E4 A: W* N3 W7 l
For I am not there,
$ A( R8 i: t# g1 W5 ~6 k# cI've a date with a butterfly1 \2 b4 _0 w& k
To dance on the air.
1 L, c+ W7 d) H) E9 f# j1 {If I'm missed, find a flower,6 c5 A4 B/ b: f9 \5 k
I'll be there too,
% y9 w* u; q/ P# G1 h9 ]1 {Sniffing it's fragrance% A% |' F* ~; K) r
Right next to you.
3 f7 @- V9 J. J- B0 Z' v' n+ c, |
6 w7 \. m$ m/ K4 @. E9 VDon't be sad4 V6 L/ t3 m' D1 U$ K
When you remember me,
: D& ?% n) ]! H9 y. EFor I'm singing in the sunshine,
! k& n3 {) E  B5 J1 W9 S  H; ZWild and free,2 t# T0 r6 w& l) M  `
Flirting with the lighting,
. G0 Y; Q; {$ n# a/ G' K( m1 Q9 o( LPlaying tag with the wind,% a+ r/ x/ |6 g0 N& ^
Chasing the thunder% l/ c- i2 C9 K/ Q6 z; G, {: _7 F
Time and again," ~9 l0 D8 b/ b
Soaring with the eagle,0 Q! |% G; `: }) N, j6 j
Swimming in the sea,  q5 t8 F4 N  k6 e
Enjoying all of nature( h. d5 _( k: ^, {% o" H
While I'm waiting for thee.
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