In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

In the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
6 y1 F2 p6 A/ ?' L8 I# a% uNourished with my soul
7 |# F( b6 w$ Y$ S4 }/ yDevoured my sorrow by thee

In the memory of my life
' ~1 B5 w, Y9 \% b% aYou planted a dream
Should the sky fall down on me
& `6 i- g( |7 `2 _) a( N/ IMay promises fade in the sea
" M. l. P( ^1 I9 y- MSewing back every broken pieces
Bursting the love out of me
/ |( l! w4 j) o4 t6 ]- |, T
[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
- m, W# Y) n* C% V5 I( A, k听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
& @$ n5 J/ U5 w8 n/ h; ~7 j1 G
3 _) o: q; d" q# R3 \  gIn the garden of my heart
7 g9 B  y9 A8 |0 v% @8 j: x2 _/ {9 n5 ZYou planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
" f. e; @7 D9 k& A; W8 |% |Through darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
3 W" s+ U: `/ F5 FDevoured my so ...

; \1 E9 k5 o4 J+ E6 E
2 w; ]/ V) I! h: |眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？

" @( j8 s2 K( }* {, V. }6 N3 o% E; H: d写得真好。
+ A* B, _  y  f
. y. |. o, y4 [加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
: Z8 b4 U3 f3 Y9 q. I( t眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
) q6 g* b+ t, _8 o, f写得真好。
加精加精！

. q1 W7 R$ t5 d# t; F我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
- m- S5 W7 f* x; J, R* u如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

& E0 D! _% _! u7 B3 b, {% W( ~0 ]: u' E$ T
& K7 M, c8 S4 K' D% ^% |Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.

1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".

2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
+ @) B4 W" @: H7 {6 s
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

2 h) k" e  s6 b9 E6 ~$ h& @Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

# Q2 U& h, W! p6 p6 `. f( U- \7 V
/ k/ J- L" }' Q诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
2 D% ?6 N) }# [thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

* p: I5 w0 S- h8 VShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

' f3 A: D* M" ~; O: D6 e  }
1 ]9 R& K+ M5 E有啊，有很多经典的例子。
: o7 m% q$ |2 u/ ]( B
! b1 y5 }) \# ^, L# J; J9 y比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

! j! @9 W( _. w) GDon't weep at my grave
- ]# g6 [6 |+ j) M/ y1 r/ bFor I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
& ]  I4 i' _2 Y4 _* z2 y7 q, \To dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
7 s1 ^: x! ?' I9 H7 aI'll be there too,
- d5 M9 |  ~; pSniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.
. S$ }, g5 \7 K$ x
% g2 e+ o2 T! Q* {& w3 d: BDon't be sad
When you remember me,
For I'm singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
8 c( B. j2 q: m! nFlirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
$ c6 P5 a% M6 j) h/ _Time and again,
, c, [7 y" r. O/ H6 ]! ]! }Soaring with the eagle,
, t2 W0 O. d: b4 G  g! L6 BSwimming in the sea,
. t+ ]' p6 {, l- fEnjoying all of nature
While I'm waiting for thee.