In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
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+ }$ w; B: J& ?  dIn the garden of my heart
- s' [4 P, A, ZYou planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
) h6 @0 m0 g4 Z8 P5 R/ z4 PNourished with my soul
9 n' t7 t: k+ z1 k' }; pDevoured my sorrow by thee
. W* z& ?- s& U& Q, Q* J
In the memory of my life
% V4 Z+ l# p: OYou planted a dream
1 A% S- u/ W1 K, p. H, }Should the sky fall down on me
May promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
Bursting the love out of me
6 p( H% C: \  Q4 j
[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

In the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
6 p) ], H7 _) F. O% \. bThrough darkness to light
9 Z5 e  x# g& K9 g5 [9 _Nourished with my soul
Devoured my so ...

眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
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写得真好。

加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
' q) q( o4 x( T. e2 o9 w# `  e眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
写得真好。
9 m' E9 `1 w9 t5 h( W加精加精！

我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
9 k5 d; h" T  ]( k7 U1 s如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

2 x6 B" A  N( R五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
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7 Q) y" N! B/ _& Z' _. n6 l4 |Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

/ w% ^" @  V8 q% |' cSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

$ B9 T$ Q3 A5 Z$ O6 ^8 C& L/ b
7 s( Z$ j/ Q. R' X4 G3 eThanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.

1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
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2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

9 R4 Q0 b* z) v/ ^有啊，有很多经典的例子。

比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

( L+ i4 B, S5 kDon't weep at my grave
For I am not there,
. i. K; y3 m( U+ [  DI've a date with a butterfly
To dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
0 D4 r" o1 r0 B1 KRight next to you.
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& ?! {5 K6 I( O0 U: ], F3 K! MDon't be sad
( V! R/ t$ w3 ?When you remember me,
7 M+ n+ c5 O9 L* q/ iFor I'm singing in the sunshine,
9 R1 Q- B0 A( j# S+ p9 s0 b0 vWild and free,
Flirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
( [* H, |! E) t* p$ z' f% IChasing the thunder
Time and again,
Soaring with the eagle,
Swimming in the sea,
4 K3 G- m. y- Q: M0 l! vEnjoying all of nature
While I'm waiting for thee.