the longest word in the English language

billzhao

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1 `; @# `0 t/ }Question:　What is the longest word in the English language?

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0 e: `8 Z7 u. Z9 k: b% j  z; bAnswer: smiles
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" v' G5 ?7 F+ F5 BWhy?
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' ^5 F! }. p* {1 U: VBecause there is a mile between the first and last letters.

billzhao

Maria found America
+ `9 z# x4 i7 h$ p5 z- \; YWhy? Not Columbia? Take a look at the class:

2 g+ ^1 y, b& ^$ c# STeacher: Maria, please point to America on the map.
Maria: This is it.
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
Class: Maria did.

billzhao

The following is an old joke, which is consistent with our Chinese saying 无事献殷勤非奸即盗
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: |4 p* c& T* f4 z: f0 nA Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.
& c, h2 x# e% H3 X( w4 u4 y"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."
The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman.
"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."

billzhao

$ Y( M- w% j; F" Z你可以对警察说，我想你是个混蛋
4 d0 S4 _: f0 B! C! k$ KYou CAN say that you think somebody is a jerk, especially when this person is a cop who gave you a ticket. Take a look:

, }6 J- a" c! Q' kA man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.

6 V% W& G  [3 f% c& Y( b) nOfficer: You were speeding.
( x  \1 a% X7 C6 w: uMan: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
( Z) z3 w; R3 v2 w+ `4 zMan: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
7 y/ H( p/ R7 r6 u, i8 JOfficer: Yes, you would.
! g& t) M5 J3 n8 FMan: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
  Y: b0 h6 X" Y7 E8 \: m- V* E. BMan: Fine, I think you're a jerk!

billzhao

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) R! M. s  o9 ^4 v( ^, k) m为什么男人们总问这个问题
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' L" `6 T0 l( [. g( T1 s# w"Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said.
"Of course," she answered "Why do men always ask the same question?".

billzhao

老鼠在你家里干什么

) s. O* J* V2 KA: I'm in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
, T5 Z6 w% z5 E( _6 IA: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
- {! O3 Y, ], x8 Y& _2 vA: I don't have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can't afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
. q2 S8 |* B# F8 R4 G% XA: That sounds good.
* X! X* p. F8 |  CB: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don't have any cheese.
$ W& k7 _8 Q* Q8 Q; ~, bB: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don't have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don't have bread.
, h) ?3 A( x. h$ n* k$ p; `B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!

billzhao

等一分钟
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A man is talking to God.

) Y9 x: e/ i  ]  \% j# IThe man: "God, how long is a million years?"
. x2 Z( F( p# a% pGod: "To me, it's about a minute."
, y- E9 m2 ~0 G- \The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
& b5 K; R3 |- H7 V7 k; s  M% `2 @The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."

billzhao

Why couldn't Cinderella be a good soccer player?

9 B# e! T. a- j/ nShe lost her shoe, she ran away from the ball, and her coach was a pumpkin.

(Requires basic knowledge of the Cinderella story and that both ball and coach have double meanings.)

billzhao

I is or I am

+ j8 |, O# E6 L, S7 HTeacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
4 h0 s' e, F4 @( U* @$ BStudent: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
, \' [# Z; z1 t) @( vStudent: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

billzhao

4 k; Y8 G0 [( u3 F( y" L: HQ: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
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2 q. [3 U' K# \, {$ fA: An envelope.

billzhao

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1 g& g; Z. ^! {2 }8 h6 X2 gQ: What travels around the world and stays in a corner?

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1 T, y2 |8 B, l4 e7 m: K; _- k& ]6 rA: A stamp.

billzhao

Q: What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean?
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5 ]& V+ U" V+ N  {1 EA: A blackboard.

billzhao

Riddles of Alphabet

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Q: What letter of the alphabet is an insect?

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2 y9 B5 \6 I# Z+ d' p2 {$ Q5 l8 BA: B. (bee)

Q: What letter is a part of the head?
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A: I. (eye)

+ S9 s4 V& {5 X9 p$ p+ V3 |+ B* EQ: What letter is a drink?
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Q: What letter is a body of water?
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7 h6 _4 h" h. Y# cQ: What letter is a pronoun like "you"?



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A: The letter " I "
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Q: What letter is a vegetable?
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A: P. (pea)
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  N# {1 l; `& e% kQ: What letter is an exclamation?




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3 y9 o1 W8 N) OA: O. (oh!)

& {# J+ B  h& D* u3 dQ: What letter is a European bird?
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Q: What letter is looking for causes ?





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) z( m/ [7 _( }+ ^( Z& W- _' X; f; zQ: What four letters frighten a thief?
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A: O.I.C.U. (Oh I see you!)

' a& v2 U  H4 d  A: dQ: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand years?

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6 k/ @; N6 \* l; `A: The letter "m".

: b% Y* L2 ]# R6 H3 iQ: Why is the letter "T" like an island ?

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A: Because it is in the middle of waTer.
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$ u+ l3 ~. _1 Q- Q% l5 aQ: In what way can the letter "A" help a deaf lady?
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$ D, B! y0 `( e+ \+ JA: It can make "her" "hear.

Q: Which is the loudest vowel?
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A: The letter "I". It is always in the midst of noise
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Q: What way are the letter "A" and "noon" alike?
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  ?" B9 ]; F% r3 {8 b! Q1 m5 J9 SA: Both of them are in the middle of the "day".
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, a$ c( P, S! k  l: gQ: Why is "U" the happiest letter?
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A: Because it is in the middle of "fun".
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& \+ j" I# l) SQ: What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters?
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Q: What relatives are dependent on "you"?

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A: Aunt, uncle, cousin. They all need "U".

Q: What is the end of everything?

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A: The letter "g".

prouddolphin

CANDYMAN

尘肺？？？？？？？？？？？

CANDYMAN

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
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补充内容 (2012-5-16 12:51):
3 z9 T4 `$ ]+ ^4 @  R( tI did not know those sources of the word, thanks!

清淡如水

billzhao

CANDYMAN 发表于 2012-5-5 16:20
0 `2 V$ q' @. G0 h" M% U% Epneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

great job

weidsun

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

summer_tina

不就是\smile吗

Remotecontrol

435t45rhrthrt

billzhao

shelley.micheal

9楼的笑话没看懂哦？

fushiyu

shelley.micheal 发表于 2012-8-30 14:45
" b3 [( v* |2 ]' f; H9楼的笑话没看懂哦？

以I开头造句：
他本来想说：I是第9个字母。但是老师不允许I后接is。所以接了am，结果意思变成我是第9个字母。

billzhao

billzhao 发表于 2012-4-14 13:45
3 M+ X; V7 |# tI is or I am
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# ?! U5 B0 W$ Q+ U( QTeacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".

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billzhao

fushiyu 发表于 2012-9-11 16:22
: ~0 {1 y0 F2 \1 u& H8 n% [& I8 E以I开头造句：
他本来想说：I是第9个字母。但是老师不允许I后接is。所以接了am，结果意思变成我是第9个字 ...

The ninth letter is I
"I" is the ninth letter

newday