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Shejing's random sick joke #2

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鲜花(499) 鸡蛋(10)
发表于 2010-11-19 12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew, {" e! W, {  u( e
his wife would have a hard time being faithful while he was gone so he( H8 g5 D( p" \* Q% H1 y2 d
decided to go to a sex shop to find something to entertain her.  As he
; v5 D7 r: H  Z  U  L5 S0 Lbrowsed through all the different toys the old man behind the counter asked) Q/ D) B+ E+ Y; M& L
if he needed help.  He explained his situation and the old man said, "Well,: \, L' h+ a9 Z& e- g3 q3 f
I don't really know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
  V, z# O0 z$ \- r. `6 S) Y# Uexcept... ahhh... never mind.". G6 a& y0 c; G) p" p5 n6 M

# A1 f5 N4 _$ h! j    "Except what?" the man asked.
3 [% g# ]1 z; ^0 W2 K    "Nothing, nothing."1 a' E( l9 `, |6 V7 R* \
    "C'mon, tell me!"5 s$ j. m7 ^* Y
    "Well, there is VooDoo Dick."+ `6 @- N$ p6 w/ g
    "What's VooDoo Dick?" the man replied.
! R9 e% k( {3 v; s    "It can't be described" said the old man, "it can only be witnessed."! {( @/ J% k  T& M+ b1 K! |
So the old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box,
7 P2 ~; }6 o4 [carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very5 o( u& V: C+ _0 b  c; }1 r5 W
ordinary-looking black dildo.
% Q8 R' n1 p1 K" ^    The businessman laughed, and said, "That's it?"5 X: a6 _; i: ]. _

! R; e' B4 u2 a0 q; Z    The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."  The old
# S& I3 n( I/ N! z6 q" H7 L5 X( D. A7 Lman pointed to a door across the room and said, "VooDoo Dick, the door."" m' b$ R( K/ [& O% E# _1 K
VooDoo Dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started  L0 E: X. B8 e9 s3 G6 I
screwing the keyhole.  The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack 4 ~, b. `( M  ]5 O
developed down the middle.  Before the door could break, the old man said,
% N5 @* D/ r8 O' k/ b  L"VooDoo Dick, get back in your box!"   VooDoo dick stopped, floated back to$ i4 v8 w) }& G; I. j1 ^
the box and lay there, quiet once again.5 c2 L) }2 y- y5 S

& ?4 Z( g. y' Q; i) T    "I'll take it!" said the businessman.  The old man resisted, saying it2 _+ n( y; p8 t- C. t
wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $1000 in cash.  The guy took
8 z2 W' }) Z) H7 xit home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all
; k) |" x5 S7 y. g5 mshe had to do was say "VooDoo Dick, my pussy."  He left for his trip& T( D) m, H& N$ W, o8 s
satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.+ S) M1 s. y: @2 A6 ]0 Q9 H

: B9 F9 k! c7 V( o; e6 R" V    After he'd been gone for a week, the wife was unbearably horny. She) B( @* v5 }) Y) C6 h6 Y
thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she
, }1 o( u( H% `! K' K8 }/ cremembered VooDoo Dick.  She got it out laid down on the bed and said,
$ R2 [3 o6 ^+ e& K/ k$ S, H"VooDoo Dick, my pussy!"    The VooDoo Dick shot to her crotch.  It was
! x5 \" w! o5 Ggreat, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.  After three orgasms, she + R+ p8 N& i! u. X) ^3 j0 W& f
decided she'd had enough, and tried to stop it, but she couldn't, her. F! M# ?2 R/ t1 A
husband had forgot to tell her how to stop it!
7 ?- h: @! f7 E; F; c+ \/ M7 n, ]& A: M" C4 \% y
    She decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.  She tried
3 y& s: Y7 X% a8 N6 y2 e. {9 jto get dressed as best as she could with a skirt and a top, but VooDoo Dick! L9 `! S- I( w% c/ Z. Z
just wouldn't stop and she had yet another orgasm, weakening her knees.! _, |  _1 ~/ r% {, Z
/ }, f4 i* w* W# k$ T6 c; h
    Finally she got her clothes on, made it to the car and started to drive8 S+ m( i! v6 O: v. K5 s
to the hospital.  On the way, another orgasm made her swerve into oncoming
; M) H8 M+ P3 Y  b+ y. k! s& T7 g& wtraffic, then back to her side of the road, narrowly missing a car.  Next
; g0 }& D! V5 hthing she knew there was a police car behind her with it's blue lights
) y7 q0 I& h, Hflashing. The police officer asked for her license, and wanted to know how
6 c. K% ^3 P6 z: x' O; xmuch she'd had to drink.    Gasping and twitching, she explained that she
- q3 v' _" L. k0 U5 U/ Chadn't been drinking and tried to explain the problem of VooDoo Dick.
  U- L) J* T" @2 L  `' D0 a* v; U! ^
    The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yeah, right' B1 e" u: m* ]+ {9 A# A: o
lady, VooDoo Dick, my ass!"
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 13:20 | 显示全部楼层
pfft pfft
大型搬家
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 15:36 | 显示全部楼层
I like how Shejing tells jokes from personal experiences
鲜花(12) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
笑了~顶~
鲜花(4) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 17:15 | 显示全部楼层
lol...
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 23:08 | 显示全部楼层
无语,楼主从哪里听来的这么多成人笑话?
鲜花(128) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-5-23 18:39 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
ding...
鲜花(1348) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2011-5-24 11:01 | 显示全部楼层
笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-6-3 20:43 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
顶吧,憋不住也笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-10-23 14:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
千斤顶
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