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Shejing's random sick joke #2

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鲜花(499) 鸡蛋(10)
发表于 2010-11-19 12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew& O& z0 [/ A% r! p7 O3 @
his wife would have a hard time being faithful while he was gone so he
/ U- c% k2 `  D* G9 K& |2 Idecided to go to a sex shop to find something to entertain her.  As he- v9 b) [* g  Y0 ?9 C
browsed through all the different toys the old man behind the counter asked# ?# }: O$ _0 b
if he needed help.  He explained his situation and the old man said, "Well,# Z* u+ f% v- }0 e5 x9 f8 `
I don't really know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
- p) }4 d& j1 n# q/ J3 O) f# aexcept... ahhh... never mind."3 l1 c1 F3 ^( I/ q, V0 y
6 m3 R4 E, d7 N) h7 t) f) C
    "Except what?" the man asked.0 e& O. Y" k5 o% X1 a5 D( P
    "Nothing, nothing."
! u# n% H5 N: k/ \    "C'mon, tell me!"
- n4 A; Q. [$ P/ Y, S! M    "Well, there is VooDoo Dick."% G- |6 h' O+ V1 q
    "What's VooDoo Dick?" the man replied.+ {) V1 @' _9 J: x
    "It can't be described" said the old man, "it can only be witnessed."- s0 m6 w: s% q
So the old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box, ) L2 i- x/ h5 J, {" K) U7 m
carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very
$ g2 N8 R. _, e0 Sordinary-looking black dildo.
+ ~. \, U  E+ o: r1 K    The businessman laughed, and said, "That's it?"
" O; W& Q1 |% c% K2 b* {- w+ D# z* f1 J  O' x
    The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."  The old1 R1 c; O+ k' \: X8 }- }7 V
man pointed to a door across the room and said, "VooDoo Dick, the door."! M6 Z7 P, W% }& Q4 ?3 q! G0 U
VooDoo Dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started7 s- i( I2 V: j" ^4 X; \8 b
screwing the keyhole.  The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack ! Z7 c! y+ S$ ?/ \
developed down the middle.  Before the door could break, the old man said,
1 D7 a9 Y) U- w1 o6 ^"VooDoo Dick, get back in your box!"   VooDoo dick stopped, floated back to" B/ v! Q) x8 x. l( J: L# e* Z
the box and lay there, quiet once again.
% A! U% {/ ]9 d) J! U' d9 d1 z1 s
6 t9 C2 V$ ^; P" G( E$ m0 Y    "I'll take it!" said the businessman.  The old man resisted, saying it# D+ Y$ r6 l- V/ e6 B
wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $1000 in cash.  The guy took! c- f' U( w* V
it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all : F0 ?, y, E2 w
she had to do was say "VooDoo Dick, my pussy."  He left for his trip5 _5 ^5 e+ U2 _& Q
satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.7 S4 d0 m) |+ X. x% K2 {9 [
; M7 P0 e9 Q0 T& Q6 t
    After he'd been gone for a week, the wife was unbearably horny. She! m) W- e. H7 V4 {6 l
thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she
  W3 x7 N) ]% e8 B% m4 g/ qremembered VooDoo Dick.  She got it out laid down on the bed and said,, l, {% z& N" B% b
"VooDoo Dick, my pussy!"    The VooDoo Dick shot to her crotch.  It was
+ I# \* r! d" Q7 N, B3 wgreat, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.  After three orgasms, she % k4 ~  V5 f( `
decided she'd had enough, and tried to stop it, but she couldn't, her$ c9 T' r; t. ]4 I1 c  j5 Z
husband had forgot to tell her how to stop it!
( k8 S. b- A4 F( V* m4 n
: m* r4 L4 y. ?; z# ]    She decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.  She tried$ j: X/ [# k7 Q
to get dressed as best as she could with a skirt and a top, but VooDoo Dick4 W1 Z. w) `% |2 ^5 N. U( u( l2 Z
just wouldn't stop and she had yet another orgasm, weakening her knees.% d% x) h. ]" j7 f$ g. s( G6 t9 L3 [! w
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    Finally she got her clothes on, made it to the car and started to drive$ o* L/ x6 Z; X
to the hospital.  On the way, another orgasm made her swerve into oncoming
; d7 ?9 v8 ^! otraffic, then back to her side of the road, narrowly missing a car.  Next5 M, |( p# |9 X
thing she knew there was a police car behind her with it's blue lights" W' q& d" j! Y" ~3 N
flashing. The police officer asked for her license, and wanted to know how
) n% W2 M- p, a1 u" d2 z3 Q8 Bmuch she'd had to drink.    Gasping and twitching, she explained that she5 R0 r' d0 B. V7 u6 M! p
hadn't been drinking and tried to explain the problem of VooDoo Dick.
/ u2 ]5 g; N" {# T/ \; ?% D) e# w$ L$ D, _. J. ]
    The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yeah, right
+ S: b: K+ m8 I- g. t6 q: clady, VooDoo Dick, my ass!"
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 13:20 | 显示全部楼层
pfft pfft
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 15:36 | 显示全部楼层
I like how Shejing tells jokes from personal experiences
鲜花(12) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
笑了~顶~
鲜花(4) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 17:15 | 显示全部楼层
lol...
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 23:08 | 显示全部楼层
无语,楼主从哪里听来的这么多成人笑话?
鲜花(128) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-5-23 18:39 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
ding...
鲜花(1348) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2011-5-24 11:01 | 显示全部楼层
笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-6-3 20:43 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
顶吧,憋不住也笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-10-23 14:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
千斤顶
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