 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!: j6 m. _8 i3 \
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写: l$ q+ i8 O7 C* I7 j
8 e3 j' d7 F' U1 n$ U0 N, v) a1 k1. Men ARE NOT mind readers., e6 H( M3 X& o6 t2 M) i+ ~( v7 q
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫6 b% K5 z: X1 Y2 ^( L5 F2 ~0 l2 ^
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it/ M( |6 w" f5 c, ^* n& I0 {
down.
5 B9 c4 K) X( {2 Y8 ~5 HWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down.
. z( i4 S: g% X) Q1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?/ _: D8 D& n/ X1 C2 u
% t5 c; N5 R- g1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.: M: ], M( Y1 M( g# l6 t/ U
Let it be.- \; j8 \$ I4 a
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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; O9 o% A" k! I3 `$ S; a1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it5 E% k7 | D4 Y/ T5 X
that way.
0 F- [ k( C! L+ u4 G2 g6 |1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!. y" X9 b1 C+ |; P6 n! V" u7 P
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1. Crying is blackmail.$ G1 z( y+ M! m- }) S
1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.$ F' I: s' W( f, o, X4 v8 E
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!( [+ |/ H& H3 p5 P& f
Strong hints do not work!
7 P8 r" d7 K z/ c1 I8 Q1 wObvious hints do not work!* T( o$ o& E4 m5 @5 s& O( h: h, b
Just say it!! t1 X' b( d6 T+ y9 O
1,你想要什么就说* b+ [' k1 @0 D3 K+ b& U! `6 Q
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
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6 d" Z" O2 N5 s7 f; K, b1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's) [0 ^( t2 s( s7 B# W k
what we do.
; }* t# q6 |: nSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8 X8 W, @8 T4 Z1 K& C+ l, R1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。8 N, x) q+ |, ^0 y: ~. x! V- z
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.- K9 X$ q5 E0 \' [7 r# i
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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% c( A" H! L8 P6 s1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.9 U4 y- k& K5 `! ^" S) B. W; Q
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
5 i+ ?) E( B: W/ w0 c我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us$ R5 T( J [2 h& ^8 e
to act like soap opera guys.
5 Y8 `0 b9 q0 g/ |# G9 v4 R1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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6 a$ v: m1 S J0 O1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us." o5 h0 B* n7 O7 a% B
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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2 z: ~, R- a8 @* R( o X1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways, o: Z/ }, w7 ~* n" i* v/ t0 y. w
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.* m t3 G" B- G
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。1 L/ F. A( X8 w
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
6 U$ A/ P7 a( b& Q, F9 x1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it* d- x, B! V8 F" V) ~0 Q5 D
done. Not both.5 w# d; n) Y4 i3 B
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.! X x/ l( u5 b! O9 K* X; }
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during! g- X" s/ R7 l: k! x
commercials. n. F8 X! Z/ h- L
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.. W( E* p% E; R5 K6 C: V: \
: A! O& N7 g0 W; {' `) n1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.: P, f$ O3 M( _ M1 y1 Y L! D
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.+ v' U5 G9 _' s: Z: z
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.1 z' s3 ^- o$ v/ Q; f2 K& p
) M, N0 H; H4 Z- ^1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like3 W, A2 w* Z3 Z0 k- W. Q
nothing's wrong.+ Z! K/ _$ l: y" G
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.& i$ b% m) {: b, M5 N/ e. f
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer: G5 W/ m# A! v7 f- I6 U/ @& ~# M
you don't want to hear.% a$ u+ c/ P2 j2 I, x+ ~7 d
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is( ?. j7 G- ]5 u0 v. F$ U# W% Z. P
fine...Really.* g/ d7 D! |6 s; k _! L
. s$ i# E9 y, m' M0 O% z( B9 E, ~1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to& I. j& S N8 p( g0 Z- S2 C) U
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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6 x: L) U) {* {3 @5 M1 |1. You have enough clothes.
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1 {5 c6 w8 A% u/ D$ f1. You have too many shoes.# l: ^7 [" Y3 l/ P1 F
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!* f8 o1 l; A1 k7 H& C9 U U/ F
' [+ S* V+ \* P* C) k+ ` e* g- T1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
6 N$ G& P0 c" oBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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/ y2 J* |- R1 a/ C& @- A* OPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
{" W/ s: x, z7 z; r: i9 VPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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