 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!. g+ s# z( l6 i4 }: m' i+ e; t
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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$ K+ ]: T6 r) f# `: }4 V& H1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.* A& _0 I3 x: J2 G9 [
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
2 ]0 }! r& ]; Q0 ^, udown.
! V6 p# H, R2 a* L7 x& BWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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- f Z E, P5 Y1 z* oleaving it down.
& |# b9 z6 \/ K8 L0 h+ X1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?8 \3 b( ?) I7 M1 y! {! U
9 d0 ?) w( r# u/ g1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.3 L$ U( Q- ]( d( z2 G, G
Let it be.
. z: P& p- H" d7 A9 U4 o% a- g2 _1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去. Q) [6 ~8 R( L9 }& b7 l
" N- c' @! t: `1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
3 r; i, {; a9 v) a+ ~; kthat way.8 O2 P7 N# Q8 P# ], C
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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1. Crying is blackmail.
2 U M& v5 V8 x2 S# v1,哭泣是敲诈5 y+ A D2 }' O4 `
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1. Ask for what you want.
0 X) S0 s. j( j; a$ V; |Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
& b( S( L0 K6 ]9 [8 N& Z- M- vStrong hints do not work!# ~& r& p w- u& I x
Obvious hints do not work!* I# a( O9 U. I
Just say it!
. V7 S4 |6 u/ |8 D" I1,你想要什么就说! x. N! C$ o7 j" F1 V5 B
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
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1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
* Y& L& F( Y$ ywhat we do.9 f/ \: }+ W4 Q5 l
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.* U+ r, N% |5 C3 w- {
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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7 F. a0 @+ C5 }& S. O1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
2 b1 ]6 {! E) @1 s* o3 ^* J1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.1 K) y* M5 C0 K `0 `
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
& V7 f' f1 y/ f( \2 H7 Y! R n1 `我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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z. Y: T f. M5 D" k; `1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
, M$ l W: D' i8 tto act like soap opera guys.( l& W t" c" f) d2 P
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们' R1 e4 L+ I% P6 t. H' \
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1 H7 e: M5 m" u$ s1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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# @ n4 R! ^% H) f7 |7 P1 ^9 D1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways/ F+ W, I+ n, p( Y/ u: l
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
. V$ j& i# E" {1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
7 P2 i$ @: s# d1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it3 E) o6 u. ]3 k4 R/ E7 H
done. Not both.
! V# q) i3 S2 Z( q+ QIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.( J+ c1 [) w! ^# r1 v
; H! L0 J b1 F+ K) ~1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
+ {2 x' h" X0 }) |commercials.
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- }& m( D3 n* {8 K9 _1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.$ u. M) z- ]$ f1 X2 A c$ s9 Z3 `
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
/ y6 Z$ f& v. }- Z) M# T0 PPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
. q% `2 O; o* jWe have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.- t4 A9 J+ d8 m/ c# g
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
0 Q3 a! G" Z( z+ ^! B7 M, p9 Enothing's wrong.& B P; y9 O$ k: }- i& u o
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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' |' h0 H, M+ @0 B5 Y! h1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
1 o3 J( N( z' `9 ^3 d# L+ Iyou don't want to hear.* b5 S D; ]& S- h6 t
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is, ]7 h8 h( Y; \1 ~6 p
fine...Really.
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* A/ s: }( {! J, H |0 l2 D1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
* r' [* B4 v# K3 f% O' z" U) {discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.+ }3 s9 a4 u0 O H" t
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1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.1 @+ J2 f1 t9 |9 R" k
( [3 ]( M" Q% m" y3 L* U, @7 I1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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" S, O* v9 m, ?$ Z" l( ?3 v, W, P1. Thank you for reading this.) i4 y+ N% @4 s; B# g% C* b1 e8 }
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
2 h5 p/ D0 K9 J* _& fBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
+ S" L$ ]' @# M8 ^, O) {" k% QPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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