 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
+ J# L/ r+ O0 F! b K" [请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写9 ^; C) D5 Z& t0 Q( {8 G
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers./ I+ [+ M6 D, n; n5 r( A
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫& }+ J& v( Z1 M) b# n
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
6 L" d* F6 Z7 j2 D& ~" K5 ]down.3 ~, X+ H0 p/ D
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 1 a2 Z! R0 b1 h1 H- }& [7 X' \
you
1 I: {/ p5 X/ \0 gleaving it down.
# t% P' X. |1 q* |. J3 E U' ]1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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. D6 D p- L' g! R$ P; w2 ?& W" C! d1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.2 v7 X6 l+ k. M# p5 ~
Let it be.
7 A6 a! ?9 J/ b a- z- n. ]% b5 r- u1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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4 s+ J0 e3 h2 e* p1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it3 f9 _4 v4 p- {7 d2 n. m% B0 D0 W
that way.
$ G: u# g4 [+ j: c6 k5 l1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!$ a' l$ h+ n2 L' ]2 e9 t
" T* ~+ d% |. J' S7 _8 n, M- |, x1. Crying is blackmail.
; U, p9 T8 g1 ^/ F: ~6 ?. U1,哭泣是敲诈- n1 B7 i' [( m) p3 v# X4 o& [
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1. Ask for what you want.
" L7 R* }5 A/ E' D, d6 a% F4 WLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
3 Y `4 h) E, K7 Q. z9 G7 OStrong hints do not work!
6 E: H- G: k' Y) _. QObvious hints do not work!
% ~8 m' G7 R: G$ HJust say it!0 x4 u e- z: D6 f
1,你想要什么就说5 B/ P: W4 {# o+ u9 R
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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. Z7 l/ ^: S/ Z, b: P, ?- p3 R1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
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( R8 |% R% r- B3 X2 o3 L6 Z+ U1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's; X' ?9 D, _; d" f' [; h; j" m
what we do.4 Y, O' \, b5 s( k
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.; |2 J# I1 t, s1 `* G2 _5 x7 {
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。/ l) H) d, P' R
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.- ^* L5 R; S+ F& ?2 \$ M
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.9 D( B' z0 A& ] g) o1 ] u
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.9 s& {. l; `5 V T* p
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了( Q5 ^1 ~& M2 r& N
/ X' q' `. }7 c; Y" x& U! B1 w1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us8 {. D% R% l$ k2 t
to act like soap opera guys.
1 T& ?" x- P* F' p1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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$ p6 v3 W' l& H6 Z1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
. c- W, D) E0 F3 m/ l2 d1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways6 K3 h. I7 y+ I4 n; N& |
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
" [2 D9 T0 ~* f1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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u8 c' [* ` Y# C0 k, F(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)9 u0 g( A' X8 w6 {9 k
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it6 H: d( q# Z" L4 {' T. H
done. Not both./ F! D7 ^3 b$ z( @# v. j5 Q: x
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.( q: }8 H% K; x0 O
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during: O0 m8 o& q, Y5 F5 S! I" ?
commercials.! p; `: s! {2 S u2 Z
' f! j+ ?& A* @& {0 R1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.6 f% S- C$ B$ ` n
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
6 @) H1 N/ X; w, WWe have no idea what mauve is.4 o3 j5 Y5 X3 }. Z
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
/ P# o' q' v" Q" `, P' X$ vnothing's wrong.
2 p7 ^$ e# K W% z/ S ?' r( e5 tWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle., G$ s2 y% S% J m: {2 e: a
- X) ~ }" s/ J* V7 w# ?9 W1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
/ E( b4 `0 z. ]5 a, i3 yyou don't want to hear.0 p R% @) N9 E# b2 x" f
& K: `' o" y1 B+ K7 m9 m1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is/ y0 L# K& w( D( |
fine...Really.% ~6 {8 [: ^% \/ a% G
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to7 t$ x9 L7 L9 j) U3 q
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.5 x* g6 J) a; s, N6 r( L
4 ]$ e1 q: l! \, k" _1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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' [3 u* l$ t; Y! Y9 C" n1. Thank you for reading this.$ P- z* r6 O) X# U! m. Y/ ^! A7 @
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;0 g, e, j1 y3 p( P3 E2 R. F. {
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.5 w7 `8 d. ?' d4 R& D" E
" j3 K7 F) U3 s1 `9 n! _Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
9 n5 Y: z4 Z5 P& d y, v+ K9 wPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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