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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!: j6 m. _8 i3 \
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写: l$ q+ i8 O7 C* I7 j

8 e3 j' d7 F' U1 n$ U0 N, v) a1 k1. Men ARE NOT mind readers., e6 H( M3 X& o6 t2 M) i+ ~( v7 q
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫6 b% K5 z: X1 Y2 ^( L5 F2 ~0 l2 ^
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it/ M( |6 w" f5 c, ^* n& I0 {
down.
5 B9 c4 K) X( {2 Y8 ~5 HWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
) C1 X' U- F% `you" B. f& j& {1 G5 A2 W2 U
leaving it down.
. z( i4 S: g% X) Q1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?/ _: D8 D& n/ X1 C2 u

% t5 c; N5 R- g1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.: M: ], M( Y1 M( g# l6 t/ U
Let it be.- \; j8 \$ I4 a
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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; O9 o% A" k! I3 `$ S; a1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it5 E% k7 |  D4 Y/ T5 X
that way.
0 F- [  k( C! L+ u4 G2 g6 |1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!. y" X9 b1 C+ |; P6 n! V" u7 P
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1. Crying is blackmail.$ G1 z( y+ M! m- }) S
1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.$ F' I: s' W( f, o, X4 v8 E
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!( [+ |/ H& H3 p5 P& f
Strong hints do not work!
7 P8 r" d7 K  z/ c1 I8 Q1 wObvious hints do not work!* T( o$ o& E4 m5 @5 s& O( h: h, b
Just say it!! t1 X' b( d6 T+ y9 O
1,你想要什么就说* b+ [' k1 @0 D3 K+ b& U! `6 Q
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
4 [- B- i( `( }% N% u) h- C3 `& o1 V7 ]0 |& x5 X: C, A9 f. `$ @
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
$ A, }# r5 q2 E1 E) kquestion.
6 d" Z" O2 N5 s7 f; K, b1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
% m% }9 {/ `* J0 K. d8 r1 c& N4 _% W' A: e( ]# \1 _: F  \6 X
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's) [0 ^( t2 s( s7 B# W  k
what we do.
; }* t# q6 |: nSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8 X8 W, @8 T4 Z1 K& C+ l, R1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。8 N, x) q+ |, ^0 y: ~. x! V- z
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.- K9 X$ q5 E0 \' [7 r# i
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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% c( A" H! L8 P6 s1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.9 U4 y- k& K5 `! ^" S) B. W; Q
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
5 i+ ?) E( B: W/ w0 c我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us$ R5 T( J  [2 h& ^8 e
to act like soap opera guys.
5 Y8 `0 b9 q0 g/ |# G9 v4 R1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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6 a$ v: m1 S  J0 O1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us." o5 h0 B* n7 O7 a% B
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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2 z: ~, R- a8 @* R( o  X1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways, o: Z/ }, w7 ~* n" i* v/ t0 y. w
makes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.* m  t3 G" B- G
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。1 L/ F. A( X8 w
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
6 U$ A/ P7 a( b& Q, F9 x1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it* d- x, B! V8 F" V) ~0 Q5 D
done. Not both.5 w# d; n) Y4 i3 B
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.! X  x/ l( u5 b! O9 K* X; }
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during! g- X" s/ R7 l: k! x
commercials.  n. F8 X! Z/ h- L
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.. W( E* p% E; R5 K6 C: V: \

: A! O& N7 g0 W; {' `) n1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.: P, f$ O3 M( _  M1 y1 Y  L! D
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.+ v' U5 G9 _' s: Z: z
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.1 z' s3 ^- o$ v/ Q; f2 K& p

) M, N0 H; H4 Z- ^1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like3 W, A2 w* Z3 Z0 k- W. Q
nothing's wrong.+ Z! K/ _$ l: y" G
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.& i$ b% m) {: b, M5 N/ e. f
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer: G5 W/ m# A! v7 f- I6 U/ @& ~# M
you don't want to hear.% a$ u+ c/ P2 j2 I, x+ ~7 d
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is( ?. j7 G- ]5 u0 v. F$ U# W% Z. P
fine...Really.* g/ d7 D! |6 s; k  _! L

. s$ i# E9 y, m' M0 O% z( B9 E, ~1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to& I. j& S  N8 p( g0 Z- S2 C) U
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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6 x: L) U) {* {3 @5 M1 |1. You have enough clothes.
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1 {5 c6 w8 A% u/ D$ f1. You have too many shoes.# l: ^7 [" Y3 l/ P1 F
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!* f8 o1 l; A1 k7 H& C9 U  U/ F

' [+ S* V+ \* P* C) k+ `  e* g- T1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
6 N$ G& P0 c" oBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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/ y2 J* |- R1 a/ C& @- A* OPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
  {" W/ s: x, z7 z; r: i9 VPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。% D& L' {; y# Z0 U" `: H  x
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1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。, ~$ ?; j- _9 m+ L' ]/ j
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2 M6 Q7 t. ]0 y( H9 p1 T1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?) \. h+ u* m1 E2 i% y

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, j0 g# A8 d+ Q1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.$ o; ~" Y8 ]; S+ k3 |
我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
! f! S1 L. Y& `4 G7 @% U) Z所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。3 o3 s4 h* o7 z
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
! u7 s! Z; ]2 r4 C# ^! B如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。
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7 v6 |9 n& B$ Z+ }4 b+ L1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.; }+ Z/ a8 I: M" _0 K, V
如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。
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4 f; j2 O* q! G& }2 A' l* A! n& ]7 i1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.
2 J/ g8 @4 B& l如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:5 Y# n/ o" _8 x4 {) i  x- s! q$ I2 z
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.; |0 U1 T' n5 x& V! d
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置) I0 D+ [; d. m" v+ z8 f1 s" \
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.& Q. k) c/ D- X& p
如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你
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7 G0 Z3 k  P* ?. }" Q. m- N+ e1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.# `3 b& Y" r8 Q3 Z0 {& `5 b
不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。
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1. You have enough clothes.! V5 v4 ^9 S" G. h
你的衣服足够多了
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1. You have too many shoes.
" A1 [6 @9 \- V8 o9 M* K, H8 K你的鞋子也太多了吧
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
3 h* u  U9 X: z7 S  \5 M, R/ E我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?- z8 _) w" {1 B: l: P! b
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1. Thank you for reading this.
1 u' c: `5 u% ]9 [多谢你能看完这个+ Q0 |. |6 u' m3 l' W: C

/ k# j7 s" z1 sYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.6 d; H# M( \; r
我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:  p& L% i# {) }9 e" C- v% }( H
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置" }! Q% k- g; o

6 d& D+ Y$ t/ {& H$ I还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!

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, H. t1 ]1 S7 K; d. |应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿
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( b" T3 r# A  w+ a( \玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:; B8 y1 W  k3 `
1. You have enough clothes.
* p, z: J8 T+ A- R7 T: @7 Z$ n你的衣服足够多了
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1. You have too many shoes.. [3 i0 X$ Q2 |* \# a6 r, \& J
你的鞋子也太多了吧
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这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
大型搬家
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
# ], d# F2 z* T# A& s
8 b+ H- H5 T0 A3 I7 e* ~----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.
& m5 @' X: n, O: Z3 w! NLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!* J8 T1 N+ h  c) e
Strong hints do not work!
6 m4 r8 q3 r2 o" t) zObvious hints do not work!$ B' v$ k+ Q% r5 V3 y; h3 C
Just say it!
2 u7 O3 T/ Z7 X- i+ h1,你想要什么就说, K0 V! Q1 H+ M7 U2 P! I
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!; @+ V4 y$ u) v+ j. T* I- i7 A

+ D6 g4 i4 L& ?/ D% ?关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:6 V7 K2 M5 x2 a: V( |+ u' R
1. Ask for what you want." q+ _/ p6 p$ w
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
) B- N0 I0 D+ S* _$ y! tStrong hints do not work!1 N$ ~8 q7 a5 r5 I# K
Obvious hints do not work!
& k  a7 j+ m# ~4 l. U/ P  s8 ZJust say it!
4 W. W" `& v* T( A% {1,你想要什么就说$ K# c4 g9 b. u5 S: Y
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...

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. s1 Y7 u5 y0 N3 P; ^5 B: S9 s瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:( C8 P3 ?) d# F
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
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咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿7 A- k' I2 ?% x" ~+ L
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:) z6 y, e& n1 V# j: G' @

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咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿# ^: d2 @# q; A3 f* o

& }) o2 y6 x. c% ?http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1

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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。1 f* F; ^+ L8 u1 m9 U- y8 h
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还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:  a4 Q/ Y+ u- u; ^: l
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1 i& z, H/ T* d这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。) j% v$ L) S& @
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还想问问你的体会呢!
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6 Q; j& \- Q+ q4 a5 D体会?% `. G1 p7 T# d
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