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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!. g+ s# z( l6 i4 }: m' i+ e; t
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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$ K+ ]: T6 r) f# `: }4 V& H1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.* A& _0 I3 x: J2 G9 [
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
2 ]0 }! r& ]; Q0 ^, udown.
! V6 p# H, R2 a* L7 x& BWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
+ B& h+ k! F* d  syou
- f  Z  E, P5 Y1 z* oleaving it down.
& |# b9 z6 \/ K8 L0 h+ X1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?8 \3 b( ?) I7 M1 y! {! U

9 d0 ?) w( r# u/ g1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.3 L$ U( Q- ]( d( z2 G, G
Let it be.
. z: P& p- H" d7 A9 U4 o% a- g2 _1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去. Q) [6 ~8 R( L9 }& b7 l

" N- c' @! t: `1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
3 r; i, {; a9 v) a+ ~; kthat way.8 O2 P7 N# Q8 P# ], C
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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1. Crying is blackmail.
2 U  M& v5 V8 x2 S# v1,哭泣是敲诈5 y+ A  D2 }' O4 `
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1. Ask for what you want.
0 X) S0 s. j( j; a$ V; |Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
& b( S( L0 K6 ]9 [8 N& Z- M- vStrong hints do not work!# ~& r& p  w- u& I  x
Obvious hints do not work!* I# a( O9 U. I
Just say it!
. V7 S4 |6 u/ |8 D" I1,你想要什么就说! x. N! C$ o7 j" F1 V5 B
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
$ V5 W( \- p! ]: x4 ]" Nquestion.8 w1 ~/ ^  V& A0 `/ y
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's
* Y& L& F( Y$ ywhat we do.9 f/ \: }+ W4 Q5 l
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.* U+ r, N% |5 C3 w- {
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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7 F. a0 @+ C5 }& S. O1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.
2 b1 ]6 {! E) @1 s* o3 ^* J1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.1 K) y* M5 C0 K  `0 `
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
& V7 f' f1 y/ f( \2 H7 Y! R  n1 `我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
+ |2 v* s; y9 g4 t$ ]
  z. Y: T  f. M5 D" k; `1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
, M$ l  W: D' i8 tto act like soap opera guys.( l& W  t" c" f) d2 P
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们' R1 e4 L+ I% P6 t. H' \
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1 H7 e: M5 m" u$ s1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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# @  n4 R! ^% H) f7 |7 P1 ^9 D1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways/ F+ W, I+ n, p( Y/ u: l
makes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.
. V$ j& i# E" {1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
+ [/ x7 S0 g0 A% O* |! b' n* B. q7 d' R: ^8 z) V4 z  y
(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
7 P2 i$ @: s# d1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it3 E) o6 u. ]3 k4 R/ E7 H
done. Not both.
! V# q) i3 S2 Z( q+ QIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.( J+ c1 [) w! ^# r1 v

; H! L0 J  b1 F+ K) ~1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
+ {2 x' h" X0 }) |commercials.
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- }& m( D3 n* {8 K9 _1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.$ u. M) z- ]$ f1 X2 A  c$ s9 Z3 `
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
/ y6 Z$ f& v. }- Z) M# T0 PPeach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
. q% `2 O; o* jWe have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.- t4 A9 J+ d8 m/ c# g
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
0 Q3 a! G" Z( z+ ^! B7 M, p9 Enothing's wrong.& B  P; y9 O$ k: }- i& u  o
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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' |' h0 H, M+ @0 B5 Y! h1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
1 o3 J( N( z' `9 ^3 d# L+ Iyou don't want to hear.* b5 S  D; ]& S- h6 t
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is, ]7 h8 h( Y; \1 ~6 p
fine...Really.
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* A/ s: }( {! J, H  |0 l2 D1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
* r' [* B4 v# K3 f% O' z" U) {discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.+ }3 s9 a4 u0 O  H" t
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1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.1 @+ J2 f1 t9 |9 R" k

( [3 ]( M" Q% m" y3 L* U, @7 I1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
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" S, O* v9 m, ?$ Z" l( ?3 v, W, P1. Thank you for reading this.) i4 y+ N% @4 s; B# g% C* b1 e8 }
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
2 h5 p/ D0 K9 J* _& fBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
+ S" L$ ]' @# M8 ^, O) {" k% QPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
大型搬家
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。
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1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。
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7 C  ~0 i9 E0 s/ W1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.& j$ I8 D% k% s6 u
我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!7 c1 J# u5 D# R9 [3 K* E
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is., r2 d) q# W6 `
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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% t# V% G8 x8 p! H8 ^" U1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.9 F7 z' L/ v( c! G1 w) D
如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。
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5 P$ |7 ]! Z, X1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.3 s% O4 D" c5 `. ?
如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。5 B8 H# F4 S! d
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.
; S$ k4 T* D+ y3 _. X; @0 [如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:
  T9 t& Y7 l' O  C( fALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.% l  {7 _# T/ i: t) X2 v
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。8 e. w  x3 T7 S! @, T0 Q

8 k' T. ^9 n5 |, V$ m- O& [这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
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# f& R$ |. S# D还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.
8 _& i) D9 I5 w( P. E( Y# F+ J; P8 @如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你9 C( v5 B! b. x0 c5 G9 y. y, t

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' A1 @4 p& L& z; K1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.% \- Q( q( U5 y& a: i+ R
不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。
# J' B/ r2 e! Z
# P& R9 |2 O0 [3 c1. You have enough clothes.
% x" Q* P$ ]2 r5 a你的衣服足够多了2 S: j; V6 m" l: ]2 w0 K' W
8 Y" s2 W; ]9 y' K
1. You have too many shoes.
+ u2 u% t; b5 M+ n# \, q8 a, ]$ h% u0 u你的鞋子也太多了吧8 G$ q! f; g- |5 W1 i9 F
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1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
0 j0 o6 y9 g6 c& K, s6 w我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?$ D/ d$ L! T" d

+ d; v3 N7 U" d0 W1 X9 F9 k1. Thank you for reading this.
& L2 l0 E5 H& y* x* I$ `2 _多谢你能看完这个
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  Y/ H( w1 Q- D4 p7 J% GYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
3 ?5 |' I% N* F% d, D我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:& w: A6 b. x& B" d6 Z; I

$ I7 t5 p" Q7 v( N这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!

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! V- b7 r, M0 I- e# g应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿
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& S# r- f) P; c/ C9 B玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:$ O+ Z0 b- o0 }& j
1. You have enough clothes.
, B$ `$ b; Y; y8 Y: h5 o你的衣服足够多了5 t" h) a4 l* X2 a
; E: F$ j6 b  [
1. You have too many shoes.1 S: R( Z9 U: |+ y  h8 J) Q$ y
你的鞋子也太多了吧

3 z- N5 h0 g3 ~8 N! F这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
( k$ l$ C  K) q4 N0 G2 b& D  x) U( N; Y: Y# [( g* |
----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.2 t) E  c4 ^, {4 L( ]) [
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
. H% N6 u' ]) {Strong hints do not work!
9 ]& h+ J! v9 }5 ]Obvious hints do not work!
' ~* N- g. n  ~6 UJust say it!
+ [2 e  }; C1 y: W: U+ j1,你想要什么就说& Z: K# L& N: v9 `, ~
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!+ {- }4 S1 N) L& I/ D7 L6 ]6 ~

$ L7 N! Z- C0 u1 H关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:
2 f  Y! K& Y' H. b6 Y- j1 ~$ O! _8 C1. Ask for what you want.
4 R' L- q* Z+ NLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
. Z; X# y0 c, X. RStrong hints do not work!
, [8 s+ P( V: pObvious hints do not work!9 {0 d+ B! ?8 |; B
Just say it!( K, P5 C+ C, p. N, r4 H* }
1,你想要什么就说9 S" g1 |8 c( n
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...
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2 [9 n! M5 x1 L2 D7 c, i0 u瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:
, j! `( J0 y2 D3 B* y5 j. [$ r$ O被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????

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咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿& ]0 Y1 Z+ r# c# K( q

( |, d1 y( B/ L( @4 L5 v( Nhttp://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:
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9 R" K" W% B  S7 d  l/ v咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
  N  B7 [$ g+ R. e! h) S. L5 p$ a# r6 M* }, [. ^1 M8 O
http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1

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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。( G7 I$ m1 U! r/ o! K% E
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还想问问你的体会呢!
大型搬家
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:
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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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还想问问你的体会呢!
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  F9 F9 w+ F# K2 K# T0 u) @  Q( [体会?+ H6 w6 [5 Z6 B+ S

& ?: T% y8 i8 Z& {+ T/ r% [回答到那个帖子下面了
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