 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!2 @4 P9 M0 p& t7 L8 }; N
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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: D: w0 ~/ {" s5 U0 f, _! }9 w7 ~1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
1 @, w- {: \$ R9 A& @1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫0 \" H7 l. B0 Y+ |0 s2 m3 G
8 s1 r& H/ w$ E/ x1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it- A* ~, [( N# @" i9 Q! g
down.9 {8 ~* d& @1 i, K5 R* g/ w
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 1 C* c) V$ s6 U# n: B' E
you
% v1 N$ Z: E8 d5 c9 z6 r9 o- a& \leaving it down.
! @" `! {& Q0 P' U! ]' B$ n6 E1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？- ?6 K1 n2 l3 r; O
% ]! z5 q' U' M: i4 `% @2 J1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
3 ]3 d( W$ v, H) ]; k# BLet it be.5 l# S5 K9 Q- z* H
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去/ i$ \+ \2 @. ~; \3 g0 J- Z
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it: t% z( C) P$ d, J B# \
that way.' h. I4 H4 f5 c) Y4 x
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！1 w( X- u- I/ @1 p6 N# d1 p; j
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1. Crying is blackmail.7 ]" \' d$ H2 X
1，哭泣是敲诈+ m$ p8 [' n& F, [6 K" L3 Y
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1. Ask for what you want.
L- T- W. w8 q$ F& JLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!+ n$ j2 m( y- n% u: s
Strong hints do not work!. f! ?/ C+ S' t# ^
Obvious hints do not work!
5 T6 s2 r9 ^5 N: vJust say it!
9 O% [1 y) [& P S1，你想要什么就说
. R4 C7 k+ W0 Z- P6 [我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！/ V- u9 m' ?6 l T1 F d8 Z% ?! E) [
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
8 N( n6 i: p6 H* d) [question.
9 s* ] }/ g5 e* O6 ^$ |1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's! t( N: J6 U+ j( l2 b
what we do.
/ |3 }8 l$ Y) p, m4 z9 B- p4 bSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.+ K% ^! u& H* L9 }8 G; G
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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8 [- S" z. ]; q0 _1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
. A: I/ E4 S0 R8 k; w) ^/ Z+ J1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.1 B& T& H7 I5 V# }/ O5 x
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
! r1 n4 b' R; \ k我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了5 M5 ]# R! n! l& l
. n1 z# S0 f) ^ [' Y2 a Y1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
4 G6 F$ H3 s- |) y8 D) Gto act like soap opera guys.
1 J% L' w" ~# S7 B- X5 c' _1 I: X1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们/ g& _3 G$ }5 R# P/ u
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.; d7 }) q& D' {! B
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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9 h$ J$ j. Z5 a/ C7 ]1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
$ i0 S6 \' P" W0 Fmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1 h2 x" D% r, _7 W" N+ C, s8 K1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。 G3 F" g7 [& F. ^0 {' q1 B
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
. g1 L h5 @& ^1 v/ p7 B7 H1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
+ b k7 \# W; R' J2 F& \( zdone. Not both.1 `8 l' g; Y f. C
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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% V6 d( f" o3 q% P6 i1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during# U0 B# d# M& ~9 Q" N" J( L& t
commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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5 s0 S( j- m& Q$ v, l5 i& C; |1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
% |1 h$ H9 O! n/ C. e) D5 q7 hPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
$ i+ Y' M. I0 I& {3 D1 D( kWe have no idea what mauve is.
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+ T/ w& W3 Q& S% _6 b2 n9 \. a1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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9 _5 e1 c' F* G/ R2 }8 Q: i1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like/ u' j2 x; h/ V0 f( O
nothing's wrong.
8 }6 Y6 J. p$ }5 PWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer' V9 b ?' G, x; y1 G$ N
you don't want to hear.- z4 @: J- l& y
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is5 M2 l3 b& X) u2 C
fine...Really.
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$ C a7 q: j9 L6 X y7 u1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
$ \; Z9 L7 u+ R% R. G% }discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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$ E$ H" G! i" N2 f1. You have enough clothes.$ P' n' u% b# W! _1 Q2 w' r6 k+ c* @
% g3 ^& Q4 _# w7 @1 }2 Z' m1. You have too many shoes.) K1 F# u/ c# n6 ~1 q% P/ u
0 K' O- K5 s' C8 h- ]1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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/ W4 ^9 Y! O ?$ f" h C; E8 h+ W1. Thank you for reading this.7 J4 c/ g+ z. M* ?# A/ ?6 o
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;, p" H" [$ o; Y9 X) A
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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" N: F7 p4 f( }6 }Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
" P* X: c, D1 {1 I, M; }" B @Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
