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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:/ w3 c# }; |. Y5 N8 ~0 z! B+ J
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush, X% X& s# Y; y: U
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday5 D+ b3 Z( f B6 u7 A' e
morning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
) P) @4 p9 Y7 Cyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
1 e( O3 i+ A. K: W' w& d" P8 z qlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.) q3 e. W& P4 S. L: t! R. R ]$ ?7 U
& j$ e$ ]; _$ P1 U7 @; W4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its- `* \4 C' x3 j; O r
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
- u0 T" {& Y U/ R8 J% ^ [muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
; f( I& b W4 L, t+ A2 Pgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell* F3 k) L6 b. ?: j6 i% r
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.' O0 w7 ?4 ?* H* a! B
# [$ M7 f( ?# u- [" D5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
0 O) O W8 ^ i- F) K o+ d* w8 d6 icussed out, and possibly shot.( }2 Q7 z3 V3 ^ G3 |8 l1 Y
" H, v# X9 D5 o, Z& q4 o: i6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can' F/ U9 {2 g; W7 _' F
get you shot.
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! t, B1 Q- { {7 s7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that5 C; B0 x4 R$ L9 C6 q
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at# T8 n0 Q4 d1 F& k5 S4 q. c9 Q
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot/ m% `& U6 \% Q3 Z5 [
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first( J D, s2 m3 P8 Y/ q- E. H
vehicle through the intersection.+ k: `' B: D/ A2 i
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
4 Q5 J% k0 l/ e# _2 ?; A! [% xbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next5 U+ F) n% h. |, q( X% `
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
: Q" F9 `9 e7 d! P) S1 Tmore construction starts everyday.; {% j @4 w6 i C* L" g1 p% o$ w
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,9 n. y% ]& Y8 Z, _ g- q
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* D; n) R; E* ?$ u2 L/ K# y3 Xsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.3 D1 D" Z' Y+ b9 s n3 X& W& S, Z' T
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
T$ r2 `* ?& E( T0 Y; Qroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye6 G9 |' v: W' j$ L, P1 j3 ]
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
: z! L7 k8 @& d D6 `; }66 Street are also the same road; got it?8 e! L: ?, ~! m1 a2 [
) @1 b( F. q9 a9 X# M11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 A& u. }& R- U# U- R" }# |shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
# K' ?' d- e" q% Q7 vActivated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,3 U* w$ `; ^& g0 K7 R4 Q# F5 W+ z
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'& F- q/ z0 Y6 v8 C2 K$ V, ]
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur% z @5 t, y8 r- g( r/ b4 Z# c
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and0 x8 i: ~0 c9 n2 |4 n
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
