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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
7 a7 C! j; I2 z, Vbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was2 V2 o% ?5 y- n
the other possibility.
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4 J% Q, l4 Y4 I* ^6 u/ O1 _As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English5 C3 |, G- N- u: ^) }: R( U1 }3 W
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
( y6 L9 S! K: c6 s9 }plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".6 Q$ e: q3 r* I- Q J. [( l6 m0 Y
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make0 d5 b- `* l) y% Q
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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& z: m* C, U" E% M. Q; I* IThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up6 z) t% o8 i* V4 o4 F
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.' b& r5 p, W6 P+ m7 T! q; K
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7 d7 X) t; g0 D" l4 BThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the# S6 U) [ s+ M+ B) Y) r, N. N7 S
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
) A6 R8 i; A( @9 Dfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
8 o$ X3 Y- L- D5 f n& Qreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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4 _! d8 }. A& m; t% |Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always3 p- |/ N5 T/ t" K6 N* t
ben a deterent to akurate speling.2 K1 c3 w7 D L" p$ h8 }5 _2 | Y
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is. p8 ~# t8 N8 y7 H: k" g/ f$ R
disgrasful and it should go away.
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* s @; ~' {8 G- v& B' U& tBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
9 l. `* ]$ \6 ~: j H/ S0 A* w) z"z" and "w" with "v".
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. K) H% ] O/ |7 C1 s0 wDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and- W% d! ?7 c+ X
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.1 k+ o, }: v8 K+ f7 ?
3 ?0 W* ?' w& b5 hZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
$ G' H# `& D- X/ c# \2 punderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
$ {% n* a' v0 uUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze0 n/ O8 F8 P6 `5 }
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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