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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
G5 _- ]8 N' `) c0 k7 Kbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
/ Y% P2 N/ F. Gthe other possibility.4 I9 Y: H j n7 I( E- r
6 ^2 ]3 t) t3 P3 @4 MAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English' W* Q/ Y6 @% n& {5 f b! N
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in8 i7 {% K* M5 S
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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7 b' L( i t9 f I8 E! ~7 H$ `0 lIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
! c# M+ A" W9 [" F* w9 F* d6 Lthe sivil servants jump with joy.* P. k* G( @& O- I) l
) q6 H8 H" Y! b7 y3 f$ @- n: P( cThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
" k; M6 p0 k" I' ^/ Ikonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.3 v; ]: p) G s& G/ d6 b
}$ c: V) O- L- q% V: V5 u" W) K I( \+ n9 c. H7 K0 u" ]+ V
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
3 O- v2 F- _# utroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
* F' \# I' F! e" afotograf 20% shorter.
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2 I5 E2 J F0 s3 O( m1 R( d5 z# zIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
: U4 |) s# M1 Y1 Greach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
" g5 ?1 N4 G, ~6 |3 pben a deterent to akurate speling. J9 ?2 G9 q, B% {8 D
4 ~2 A) {; N1 N! Q. F' s8 @
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
5 W2 F4 q; p+ s8 a' ^ odisgrasful and it should go away.* S$ P4 z2 i. F& i8 d/ W
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with; D' y$ D/ \2 O0 n! m
"z" and "w" with "v".: S! i/ t$ O8 V0 {- v8 J/ e
& z' G( U' Z! \; m# U+ a& Z
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and( ~5 V$ K( { w U5 ?
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.3 S: _% E. H+ ?; L/ {+ x/ A
3 `8 H! [* _, G) p/ d% _8 b7 |: CZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
* L: ]% K& l5 \) I, z/ K V6 punderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
/ [8 E4 H- K8 g9 N$ r+ e) m( GUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
* H* |5 [+ ~5 D8 ?' M" Eforst plas. z3 I* ~3 e7 j; s0 a1 k3 s! X, J/ a
5 w7 A* {# b8 I, H! b1 @5 @If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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