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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
" n/ c. u3 }& e2 B' q% Lbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was# i0 ?# o5 \4 z* c' j& S- p
the other possibility.! H0 |5 ~! z6 T! E& m" t
x/ a. w8 F( M( bAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English/ J8 e' F5 d* p6 }1 @2 H3 S, y
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in( H; M C* Y- T6 Y" ?4 c) \! [3 }8 I
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make1 C6 K' K4 G8 A
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up0 I* u6 w$ o+ O( V& d. [
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. T- v" s8 K+ q5 F0 G; I( X& n" ~
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
7 M* h' {* D' f: u' T1 i) ~6 [troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like& L1 C% M. o% p2 f$ f; {# Y
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to8 s- G/ o# U; m. y, @6 |. K( m
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.; U1 k" X+ ^: I0 u, z2 S* w
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
/ H! n; O- s0 \8 K1 L( lben a deterent to akurate speling.% q5 y! c" R/ \! j& _8 f) |
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is" [3 t1 R' K! \; {
disgrasful and it should go away.8 h- _4 @& h- S' j( D
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
4 c, ~) l. ~: f' i$ N1 q) T"z" and "w" with "v".: e/ ~( v# V0 h$ {
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and) }- r2 ~9 d/ {
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.5 ~! i; d) O1 j3 Y/ Z) C
, h% h8 ^ M, j( \3 D: W& sZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu/ f+ ]5 u$ d3 @; c7 O0 F% e6 c
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
3 t7 K# b/ a) {8 UUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze5 Z; W% {1 l% Y% n6 ?6 W
forst plas.4 l" q( Z- f% A
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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