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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
6 N! Q. X9 I" D ibe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
' F( @" X# ?2 ~4 _the other possibility.
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' e9 u, i1 t4 vAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
: u+ h" i3 |) }1 x6 \. A( p- @% Gspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in. ]1 q; E2 H) u& s7 n! l
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".- z) P; q2 o: x
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
( z* Z4 X, m% F4 xthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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/ I6 |4 @4 r& p6 B) aThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
8 |4 i7 D8 x- @* Bkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.' B! k& K4 c ?1 _% @
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
, g9 e% A. N7 ftroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
- g# F) {! X1 D7 x. B) Ffotograf 20% shorter.. [% l1 c! m0 {* v& Q Y
\0 k3 j, R6 f7 e7 K: ?. ?In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to$ m7 O/ H5 t& y7 g" l0 O2 T( z
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. p( Q: q% ]0 F- X: J
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always" \, l; d: Q, l4 ]1 P3 x |
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is) J% |# d5 [' s% o/ }3 P, B
disgrasful and it should go away.( s4 r& b$ Y8 ^ M5 @' x% B
0 b/ P9 I; G1 @+ e2 T! @7 p1 s5 }By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
) N. H% N# q5 _, u Q"z" and "w" with "v".
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' U9 d# E) a, l- A7 EDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and* H: C3 R# c1 }( `- ^) V
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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: N+ b4 X: x2 r2 O7 j. |Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu+ U1 y% F6 V+ ~+ d1 ^6 m
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
- t. N0 w# v" i P' @3 [Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze. z. [, h' H2 n* z5 w3 [
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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