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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will0 G( e; C+ s J$ o8 J
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
! _. S$ i7 d5 ~" ithe other possibility.3 L: [' C9 o% [4 O
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English" x! \" Q1 J1 Z" c6 `
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
$ O$ d2 R; H2 gplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".' B! j" `4 }; \6 D+ G& ~# K
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make! q& S/ E. Q+ @( I, F }1 S9 H
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up# v5 \) e0 f* `7 ?- N. I$ S
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter./ v$ j$ ^, h8 C1 }: K. f+ {
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
) q9 X$ S3 G$ c9 n5 Q* itroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
- D u. @: M7 pfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to+ I. T2 p. I# X6 a4 g
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible., Z: {. E# G# D# w# N# Q$ S6 L5 s- g
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always5 K) E- I2 M6 @, i1 x( a
ben a deterent to akurate speling.! R8 g* W2 M! o: J
9 w3 T5 s6 w& N" s1 u( J9 k XAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is$ A$ y$ q& [: A( m1 V, O z' I
disgrasful and it should go away.- P/ i' I" W! `5 C3 f. l
4 `0 i5 a9 ?# D2 kBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
6 P* }; B( w6 p0 t3 f" t$ Z* ["z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and$ e% d( |9 B9 J" k8 R
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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' _+ H9 W$ z; m* K- N/ jZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu$ G P2 ]4 V. U% l) x( O
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru., [* ?; W5 c: }8 c4 K" _
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze' E0 K2 @- J# \- O, K8 ]4 h& p+ `
forst plas.
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8 X2 ~3 I! _* P: S: Q* cIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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