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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will1 N& ~: t2 [5 R2 y2 l) y
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
b; G3 D, {6 J# L# y6 x+ othe other possibility.
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# | `. k( e+ F5 y% N! iAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English3 q* K/ @1 y; t& S/ X
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in( ]& I0 B; J7 F9 ~- E# ^
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".1 Q3 p$ D/ O& b$ i: W8 Z
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
# s7 i5 d4 O ?- Nthe sivil servants jump with joy.0 b1 ^. N B- M8 M( }1 w2 {
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
% b2 V, |# N7 pkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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3 L P7 r* A7 w2 z# d3 CThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the+ d7 u C- h( V* \, t. m& ]8 E c
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like) Z: b! p+ k: f3 x) S1 C3 H
fotograf 20% shorter.+ u; P5 }6 N( l! P8 S
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
5 y8 [- ]7 ]% a# \4 Kreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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( u& n+ G5 j+ u1 VGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always( b" \2 ?+ p. m$ s) M8 Z
ben a deterent to akurate speling.% J; u+ Y9 T k, Z
% y% N9 B8 ` a1 R6 N _Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
, l- s! K2 a1 Y6 Bdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
% U a' N3 N* q. U, J"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
# y& ~; K3 E# \# A3 M5 Zafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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' L. F( o% F) |# k! MZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu. h+ Y3 v+ D$ T1 J# M4 p
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. E. I3 v% C2 B: a. s' U0 ]1 v& K
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
3 w; A" z1 j( h! Jforst plas.9 j( T/ v$ Z% [# S9 g |
: `3 b9 L/ J! f5 ]7 \If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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