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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
7 c' |6 b9 S1 O& j2 W" Ybe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
7 Z: F- v6 t1 O) M: K: x7 {the other possibility.( F/ w& C$ B) E! C
& w# |) h- @7 Z' k7 {6 \As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English: _" |* U' l" S2 L
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in I4 P" t8 k8 a) e8 A: p; a9 J
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
- s5 C* ~, S! U; a$ Z6 J! r* u2 jthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
- U( z) {3 ~, `$ ^' j6 P3 A6 X, n$ mkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.; G% {0 M$ o, \
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* U0 x) z" G8 Q* BThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the" y6 s# S1 w; d' h7 U: {
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
4 b, [3 @: T# N6 n- mfotograf 20% shorter.$ h1 a) v3 k" |( X+ V+ B
, [3 [, i# T4 u3 q+ q
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to0 C7 T3 t1 s- h" K( o
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
. D1 E! h, a# o' Q( b- Gben a deterent to akurate speling./ |+ F$ [, b2 E3 g" ]0 y2 C
j9 r& _' S) C& x, F
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
2 k; B$ I6 B( @8 @ Qdisgrasful and it should go away.
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. i# A8 I4 z: e' H8 U& O0 KBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
1 r5 P% c. \) k' O" v# @, K! f"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
" V. X- P3 [: {7 b5 _1 Uafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu' ]0 p0 q F. t0 i
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.# v" [" c' h0 @$ t _( W
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze( K5 d# ~. J, f; H9 ^1 l
forst plas.. W7 ^; T# P5 e4 r% e& Z$ s% d
& x7 ?" m8 g9 {* U/ e! G; fIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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