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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will* U, _! a5 V+ W$ S6 l
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
' M( Q5 j/ R8 f* Zthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
+ K' t6 T3 R3 M! v+ j1 Qspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in5 M* G# S3 x. V2 f2 Q' |( K; K+ T
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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3 ]( k5 G2 K$ @1 P5 GIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
2 C H/ U6 f. l) T: Z* o9 J. fthe sivil servants jump with joy.# V% U' Y: \6 o4 x' g# [4 F( d
7 h0 M) ~2 R: g% T* x: qThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
" K2 W3 M/ `* K' n- X6 |konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
; o I3 b6 I3 O* e. K1 P( M" f: f* m7 v7 u. ~- q+ n. v' S; d
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the& P1 ~2 |0 F1 J4 u0 ~
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like! X+ _: s& b1 f& `/ v! _6 x
fotograf 20% shorter. P5 L. k, g& q0 }) {* q3 F
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
& ]* {8 |. j- y( p: B% _reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
& \, W ? x0 l* }( K9 d. pben a deterent to akurate speling.; `: O- H; z1 j9 ?, z# b8 a
2 u5 w9 t" g" S! y8 x! [Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is- @4 G( l0 q+ p2 l: b0 d$ a" p
disgrasful and it should go away.& t% b ^+ w3 x' h
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
) Z& i: ?' r9 l1 Y' t2 \) j/ h& x"z" and "w" with "v".* w; o9 d$ ` ]( q5 C0 n
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
& V b& }3 @. S8 Xafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.% h) t& j2 q& a
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
2 H1 @+ V. d h- A) _" [$ e& z) bunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru." A+ B) B( v: S6 _
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze s% q( Q3 p3 f) X3 a
forst plas.9 o( [# K' L: G9 O/ i/ z! m1 o
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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发表于 2005-6-30 14:45
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发表于 2005-6-30 14:48
发表于 2005-7-1 15:56
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