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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
# `" b) @/ s& K a2 ^be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
5 }* i) z' Q! ?5 e- ]( i a, Sthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
8 p5 y+ M8 q% H* V- p: fspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in: G$ L. w P: h% _
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".( B; }' l& k" o- U* L, S' {4 E" _
f7 K" f* l' h! i4 B5 N* AIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
( `) T9 i1 [: t! }0 I' Wthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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2 N. _$ {% r! J0 qThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
, h# l9 @* `* N {konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
$ c Q+ S& k8 h1 K+ ~/ O, y2 t7 |troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like C6 N5 C6 E8 @! ?9 z- p
fotograf 20% shorter.7 d' _/ J9 `# T5 P9 K4 K: M- r
, d5 z3 s% e0 I4 h; FIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to- p" i3 y0 Q3 i0 M0 {' ^0 G
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.4 I7 K: j. Z' \" G, t
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always& q- u' R/ O# v4 e# Q9 a* x0 [
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
" C* f. D' O' X8 h. udisgrasful and it should go away.
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A$ Q- e6 O4 XBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
7 } L2 p N& r& ?- L, P"z" and "w" with "v".+ \( y) [; [0 D) I6 l+ M' g
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
; J6 z, a: }& O0 g1 N$ [after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.0 k6 T* o- \1 F- ]+ K8 S2 K% B
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu7 N/ t! r5 H# M8 I7 \
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.' h# A: @' e; L! F+ O$ K8 R4 j3 j% x+ s* {
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
. C. f# x4 N7 A% d+ c+ G4 Xforst plas.
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7 X9 z! J7 @& h& U; [If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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