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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will* q* ?! @: D+ T7 k# F+ W8 r
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
1 t& H, w9 C3 U! L0 Gthe other possibility.
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' o$ [: ^" h$ g1 XAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
: o6 v, L1 e: f7 S4 c% m7 ^spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in; _, R+ `; K& s- {% H% T! r
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".3 E5 U& V% d. x' X" c
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
+ T5 c& h8 O L5 K A, w4 wthe sivil servants jump with joy.$ h" j1 w9 Y6 ?4 z0 L) {' _, m( F
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
+ c% M( {, k3 }konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
+ s2 c/ C) l; G0 {' b' d s. l3 g1 M$ ?" \ Q
( D+ ?1 @; y' jThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
' R5 F) U" M) ~9 Stroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
/ f- q; ?1 B a3 f$ Q4 P: lfotograf 20% shorter.5 A3 Y9 ?7 n7 |2 e6 Y$ b$ d: v2 Y
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
, J5 a, t- p8 I5 n$ a! Ireach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.3 c! n' b' s" x$ B5 u0 _' o
4 ]" E+ A% @, ]. `8 ZGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
: d2 R$ Q( s. p& X% G) l8 Z& N# V! wben a deterent to akurate speling.
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8 o/ u) l' B+ l; I0 v. jAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is1 G8 |6 O' p% d, F8 i# F9 h
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
/ | g1 W* }, R/ K, C" Q"z" and "w" with "v".1 l( F; b5 G2 `+ p3 z
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and d( N$ ?2 b7 s" _
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
1 U! N1 ]8 X3 Y* A- I8 _understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.- p1 s6 ]; O; w' F
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
% [- l V+ ], qforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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