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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
% H4 C; V+ _+ y2 D& \be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was J- D% \6 p; x$ u8 S
the other possibility.
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- {. z- o+ Z1 i+ J- Y5 H9 J8 Q" Y0 }As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English3 `" N7 k8 j( r4 I$ a* \/ r5 Z
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in' h6 x9 z- X6 d
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
& M- d5 n- x* n# A, Sthe sivil servants jump with joy.1 N5 t# |. ` c K4 c z C, p1 x
9 Q: ?8 [7 e/ b- [. {The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
% j( O2 f3 \* C9 Jkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.; |# Y6 n$ R# u& M5 ^% f
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9 ~2 [3 I" X" f8 h7 lThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the v2 `$ G0 {, q+ m( b
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
# S+ c' D1 H! q. G! p9 `fotograf 20% shorter.
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3 m6 K9 D |2 O2 X' x" PIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to, ?# X! U- \( @1 K" n
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.$ C0 M7 V0 F+ w; D
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always2 M) O/ f8 t% K# _4 H. M& F$ i
ben a deterent to akurate speling.( w, _) |% f0 |
( u+ i0 G9 ~0 q/ b( l, }Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is; ?2 ^2 Z7 F0 C: c
disgrasful and it should go away.9 ` a6 u& W# P7 ^" p8 }, C" G; h1 n
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with( N+ t0 ?/ ^/ ?
"z" and "w" with "v".
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# o* a5 i8 ^2 n: s' nDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
/ }0 Z6 A3 y# h" e- fafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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7 r+ Y3 N; V3 ~5 _- o+ F7 c! U, IZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
; ?3 n. H1 b1 ~' l- Y' j4 @understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
. s1 w, L' R `- k, h9 b9 QUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze l3 g. D: E* I3 {8 N1 t0 n
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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