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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
) o% f; p0 k( P7 cbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was$ {2 k l7 K5 \# f
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
/ x/ p, i7 N9 l" u" b3 `) r3 Tspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
4 M4 G( q/ Q" }( C2 Y, i$ fplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".; \7 k) K9 _0 z$ ]+ l. k9 M
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
& N3 x L* i7 C" Y a3 z' Dthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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3 _; l2 X i/ }# |# \( DThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
6 P. v6 h8 X8 e) b; [: wkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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6 y7 L" w& q7 g! n9 MThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
) i* S; o. _: ltroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like5 ^2 M3 p3 u) u! v. x: q! x
fotograf 20% shorter.
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- r/ \" J5 P/ @- L/ D7 |: KIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
7 C$ U, L3 j. |* Z2 [9 [, }reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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* B) s' R) m% K" X8 b- |2 }Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
! k# M( O1 K5 h) y/ nben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
0 G' g6 `7 ^' E% A' O3 odisgrasful and it should go away.
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# g9 I* S2 I2 k4 S+ n2 aBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with6 }( V. N) R% ~1 ^, {' n" B# P6 R
"z" and "w" with "v".0 ^6 y9 d) [$ O/ F9 _
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and7 D! T _, ]8 j m
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.8 {! f1 g# L( k4 R; T
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu0 R7 j P% ~; S9 _3 |. k# e; @
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
3 J9 G/ x9 i- ]8 U: g tUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
* x, w B3 n3 a1 C) w9 Y$ vforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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