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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
% u# M/ E! k# o, R' L8 U9 p. mbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was# g2 K0 Z/ F J4 S
the other possibility.$ B; ^5 i% |2 T# _3 ?; b; n
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English6 Z2 Y9 i5 B& c% A* x9 _. g
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
- b0 v4 w2 n8 U7 V' e8 Iplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".9 R. S3 o p* y) q
. {, T( l; R* E; L" R5 I oIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
9 A2 p, |5 J4 n# ?: ]! Jthe sivil servants jump with joy.. s/ ?+ s7 m( F& ?: f' U" w
, i8 o* Y( B1 t/ k8 T' O( C8 S# R- BThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up" p* k7 {1 Y1 T1 y
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.' m! Q9 `. C/ u4 x
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9 }) r/ h0 y- p* x0 ~8 kThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the* H @! J0 H1 n5 T3 N+ i
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like. h, P5 a& k* L& Q4 J, N6 B4 o
fotograf 20% shorter.3 d% c8 o! A+ \6 b0 s1 s
; l# V9 w6 |+ F8 o7 O+ dIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to6 V. o: P: P0 |8 M
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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" a! t b5 f0 G9 u1 g) eGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always$ e8 J* E- A8 z+ X/ y
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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5 Y& l- b' T: r! tAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is: `& d8 A& J+ r. D/ X' O
disgrasful and it should go away., `4 x/ j5 Y# m5 \0 k1 B& r
- }$ R& p$ I) d8 d+ J S1 m0 jBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
% Q% P2 E5 x* p0 M$ J. Iafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.7 g! p$ c4 N$ w, o' W% {
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu6 V, S, v/ c2 C6 |5 a
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.% }; ^7 n2 c3 k3 e8 c; X# G
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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