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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
. I! l) V! T3 w5 E: T. Gbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
+ o8 j; l) z2 {3 M6 N4 nthe other possibility.
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# d! x9 R# s8 K+ `: y4 d: tAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English5 b" g8 b* [7 k; G0 Q; q
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in6 `$ I) @! i( J7 a
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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4 M6 W3 \3 b* s5 |' UIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
/ j. o7 u8 w" ]the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
% }5 l* ~! ~# f+ c# e1 u5 ?konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.# B% d B' a& F: i
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6 N8 k6 B$ P u# i, D+ s$ VThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the. S/ U3 V) b$ _7 h
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
. Z u- v% q' ?0 G& O1 P; A0 z% O; qfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
0 U( e0 a0 {: j- D$ o/ ^ N2 m( Ereach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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' F" x @- p! b: ~- @Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always c+ j2 f- K0 @7 x9 T" ~ N" T: u
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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( x+ m0 L9 h' A( R. E( j: bAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is. q* |& u' K; O% j
disgrasful and it should go away. y N& T4 s8 \
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with4 ~# G6 A" Y" H1 N h
"z" and "w" with "v".+ U( {$ q. z4 p/ M
0 e0 b- @, p; B. G G5 z3 E, ZDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and: k7 c7 T7 n: `4 M
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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4 I6 m2 n9 B. n: g* P0 UZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
/ `1 G/ l. Y& E' b$ P, Eunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
. u8 {2 q3 K* ?, f) @) Y. FUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze1 B v, f: u. s; p3 N. E f
forst plas.
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* M) p4 z$ C6 [+ C C1 s: C, g# r0 uIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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