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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will/ k' d4 j. k- ~, H% S) W8 j
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
; ?/ N' w( ^8 U& v* _# O0 w/ \1 }the other possibility.9 [! b5 b$ s4 Y. k, _' e7 c
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
2 ?5 r* v- S7 p- Mspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in; z! Q: F/ K& ]5 H1 Q& P# n
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".7 A, T/ T# q- _* }/ `8 A
9 W1 {3 S# V+ ? OIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
9 z0 z; u4 }) qthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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. t$ {. V# C. f5 `4 i6 y& p$ e' nThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
% |: a, |+ _8 h3 \. gkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.+ P& q6 n* R; n7 x/ K, D
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6 f! W. j0 k4 k2 OThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
8 q; p/ t4 w5 b# p% dtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like% d% J0 D9 H2 J: g3 O( r
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
& b5 N+ r' L" D7 M% N. _. Z4 Treach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.( M$ z- ]% L# @$ J0 m7 i1 W3 q
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always: g7 z Y" Z5 P7 G! n$ p' f
ben a deterent to akurate speling.3 a% ^5 l7 F5 o6 z, j2 A
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
1 x# i4 x& W' N' Y- ?( jdisgrasful and it should go away.4 n9 ^# m) M& M" F& l. P
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
* P3 Y% v, r0 @# b"z" and "w" with "v".
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4 W0 N2 I9 a9 GDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and$ Y" M( w- S6 F2 {2 J: ~8 P i1 m
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.' t# j8 M8 [4 i
% W7 `+ w8 R, ^: _! |' ^) C$ |Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
- M3 ^; i" m) }6 Zunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
$ p: t. y+ _& D: w% gUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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