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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will8 v' _) A2 t3 p2 j, C. M# B, c) P
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was& d' a+ ]2 A* z6 Q3 ~( U0 C$ e) v
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English6 t8 d$ J4 W2 m3 x: k
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
9 Z5 C7 G. T" d3 \7 B5 \plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".- I0 S* e4 e1 Y
4 h- @ d7 q$ w( KIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
! r5 D8 O4 F7 C7 `; V7 u# ethe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
! ~2 h0 I3 K& x' M p8 Okonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.4 o: N7 p; g9 L
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+ ~& o7 g; q7 M# l; S/ bThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
, y- b, {# k, F6 F/ H ~troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like/ X5 K. d# @+ p+ N
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to }/ R* j: ~7 z6 g# C" D
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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: @8 _0 m( @, G" _; y7 Y. j' {Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always% P- \+ W* Z1 C( g' r% `6 Q
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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& s2 [$ b, {, @3 @0 D- UAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is; L( a0 n* q* x- \! \
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
& X) G2 p* q( s6 s3 J8 l, l9 y4 ]"z" and "w" with "v".
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2 u6 x7 P% r8 @$ i: J1 R$ U% ~6 ~9 eDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
6 u" `$ _& `1 l- T- F$ mafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.0 @; Y$ j& d6 ~; Z+ [2 x- C& h
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu8 m& P# p6 U" q8 X) {& d% {
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.2 `) b0 E5 a5 ^( o
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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" c- m; Z2 H9 t; l; B+ U/ ~If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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