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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will$ J3 |' r/ Y x) n$ h% I
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
$ N; K6 s6 N5 W& u J: e) zthe other possibility.
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8 k0 t. s* ~8 }7 s7 p/ kAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English1 l- S' X5 E& A4 q- [
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
( x+ L$ S) E4 s& T& O; } p) jplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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. x1 n, n3 Y3 q/ tIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make) q) e, @9 V& T! d4 a( g
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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; s# l- {4 a+ @$ Y# G( LThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
+ p6 b9 U' O0 }% [konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
* l, x/ f) w, t2 Y) [5 S9 y$ P5 [, K+ S mtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
: Z) k9 o! {1 w% @- _fotograf 20% shorter.4 ^% t0 M4 L" r9 ~8 Y: z" T0 q
) ~6 j5 b! b, G; O8 |% [( AIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
, @7 U8 f9 X2 i" f! r! ?$ n4 k7 c8 Lreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.4 B1 P" z' w5 u* L0 O
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
4 g1 H* J" C x9 L/ Y) r% v8 Tben a deterent to akurate speling.
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; {7 p% W/ G6 B0 o( ?# h( nAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
# |" p. d% ]! J, kdisgrasful and it should go away.
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2 I; G' v- i) P3 G) F$ `& a+ iBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with: ]& ^4 u t0 Q: t
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
3 w5 M( h0 d# T7 _/ T8 W) Yafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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s, \6 Y9 w+ h& Z! ~ F8 OZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
! p- O y7 U& H/ {% R0 V0 lunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
8 q0 |- k+ c+ B& z+ `Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze8 D6 H) g0 R# F: e
forst plas.8 I6 p8 i$ x+ _# ^) p
' t* ^ \# x# z5 s1 Y4 o6 b! L) m/ S# JIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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