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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will$ ~+ m9 q5 i3 Y- J3 w4 n
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was" F. ^( y/ H" l6 ^
the other possibility.% I) C. B- _0 B o
9 W2 A- X @) tAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English Z5 f9 s' j8 R {0 h0 k$ @5 Q
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
+ c8 b$ p' v6 a6 j/ X; Y( Vplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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( f7 V+ T! E5 _6 RIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make g5 d1 d+ A* k x& r' ]
the sivil servants jump with joy.. v& B- t1 C# {3 J
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up( \) m- q2 h8 n% R4 I6 Z& L
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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! m6 @/ x: f: j+ K2 |There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the/ Y8 o6 M/ K1 p+ t" `# G/ _+ E
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like8 C- L7 \' \2 {$ v1 K
fotograf 20% shorter.
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% [# W7 q1 y! X6 K9 DIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to8 t: y8 M* Q$ P* B( {
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.+ V i2 ^; K4 \2 B7 s: [
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always5 `5 D9 Q+ B: R% {7 }$ z+ X
ben a deterent to akurate speling.6 r, r- E# i. U7 X# { z
3 V( ]& L5 B3 W3 Q$ y% T" F* Z3 j+ }Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
' l H, [- V9 K$ x6 idisgrasful and it should go away.2 {, f( O# b- V: B; `
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
) L# I! o+ x3 P"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and& j1 H s7 s6 R0 S
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
; f) }/ j3 O/ x' s9 vunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
, r8 l1 r+ g6 H& f8 PUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze" b K* P. c! t" D6 }& ?
forst plas.
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9 T) i! G9 c2 ?" h: d0 n) |If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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