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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will) g7 I, N7 x' ^! z, o# s1 X" A5 M
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was6 R% O2 a# n a" ]& H
the other possibility./ `8 D% n; Y4 `7 S9 R7 Y
/ D7 T8 a6 z/ w8 K* g, yAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
" d0 R6 r& u* G! b7 F" C# |1 ]/ Sspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
/ c6 P+ w c" _4 s" l5 q+ ~6 e9 ?plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
( D- n, H/ ~% l s9 f8 Vthe sivil servants jump with joy.5 w1 ], ]1 h; B* K# c. L& f
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
# k" k! F: q3 Z: Skonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.7 Q/ a/ @& `- [1 g
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
6 M" k1 ^. @' {9 O# s8 B# N" S( utroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
' {. O4 T* P) T/ v' b* k7 L5 Pfotograf 20% shorter.- S8 z1 e; y4 X
: \ [! M8 x5 F8 A0 j! A; K; C, x8 aIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to: p2 n, F/ H4 z5 D
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always0 E8 g; H! F4 n s
ben a deterent to akurate speling.% x! ~ b0 X) ]: t* {5 `
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
# n) `1 a8 v/ B edisgrasful and it should go away.6 K) C3 }5 c' z; `( s
( h- t7 M5 K: Y1 RBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
5 A6 l$ L& I& {5 i+ N2 R"z" and "w" with "v".9 V" } c9 U5 [9 {! W7 l
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and0 t2 H0 g- o; W
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.# X! v2 j. E9 W2 w8 u. M8 A: W G
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu; c% p, q- F, _# o7 d5 p5 E! `% i
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.7 _' a' \$ h% v' c) R2 g2 Y
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze0 p& a9 L+ m6 c) Z4 F4 u
forst plas. v: `! H2 B7 Y! K
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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