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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will5 E1 n$ }% n* Z5 G
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
' {$ ~7 f* ?6 T! E3 ]the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
; b+ g! _0 [ [! P2 y5 y2 h* D- {spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in5 t, e j& h: z. a5 m7 M, r
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".( I- j4 Q% L1 m
' q5 [3 \. B# |3 [7 GIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make j% Q8 o/ d6 f6 d- D3 ^
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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# d! r* [* {' P* m/ T% DThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
% P" w# y! I' r$ A% |konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.9 k- @& ~' |* N( Q# w# c: e
2 b4 @1 c) \: k2 y
* q K# j" S9 I( ^4 fThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
( ^0 r1 O) B) n/ @troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like% |( u: X/ r; M, Z6 T. k
fotograf 20% shorter.$ Z0 A! z2 p# S/ L2 E8 u( p
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to0 j2 l9 }$ E/ m/ Y9 N8 i
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.. N/ J7 w2 i. P
# ~; v: e' E: d" N Y0 P. P$ yGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
) z d: h+ l% ]+ ~5 J, ^* Z. uben a deterent to akurate speling.0 D. }2 `% T+ F% R7 | o
5 y) b) d- {. hAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
4 ^0 c) D2 Q$ m* I$ s* Gdisgrasful and it should go away.
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5 o+ J: h3 \, p; K; G4 N, {* WBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
# @7 x1 [, l9 L5 |+ O"z" and "w" with "v".
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2 m% R$ _/ H4 x/ Q1 {: W# p/ FDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
9 K" b8 L& U. ~ h. w8 nafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu ~$ z7 [$ A0 H0 p& g2 Q* I+ t' t
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.& o) a l! D' W# X2 r
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
; D$ P# e5 p# qforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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