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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will1 u( S; t( f$ b# @
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
0 X- ?8 r( l W/ O; f8 fthe other possibility. ]" u/ |$ o2 h+ I6 y5 T. U4 P
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English: w* [0 u8 R- l% H' q
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
: g4 F4 M9 n4 ]/ |% yplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".7 e- k2 L |( Q( F
0 U5 Z( I1 M0 u7 }- ?/ [% j: |In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
* P9 ~2 s5 r3 K: m h6 c2 ?the sivil servants jump with joy.
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' W0 k6 S; l; K6 i o; m- {% |, z( MThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up( a) T- }4 [2 D; Z' D) t7 F l
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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& a) ]- \* u2 U P$ AThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the* H7 y( d+ n5 y
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
0 Z! R( z. f, ?2 V% K% f" Z) Sfotograf 20% shorter.
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3 d+ T% X% `: n8 t8 M0 m3 \: Y* ^In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
; k) V! g8 O p: O4 ]9 Greach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.. M! U+ A. z& j) ^( g: C& Y2 H
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always" t2 X1 N8 j- `9 Z7 h. r# O
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is! B; G; L4 \9 D9 D. @/ t
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
8 g% I; j/ r/ G: C& ~"z" and "w" with "v".
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0 {3 u1 |' A: N" n! o/ W- Z( XDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
. O/ W+ ?1 ?' G+ P& J5 v3 T0 Hafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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" w8 M( [( j5 s. V! vZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu! k- E$ f, L5 _' L* v. }
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.0 F4 v X3 e/ \1 N& ^
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze. ^8 O+ M; _" |* V1 x4 O. M. `/ d
forst plas.( o- i2 @! { q! ?8 f4 q$ {0 J
! B# w* t9 s" Y- b- c1 D! I% fIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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