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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
9 J$ j& V3 T/ }) W* H1 S+ Tbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was5 ?2 N5 M* M% |2 l! Z
the other possibility." t c" d8 `3 v
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English7 Z9 r' w3 Z! Z) @
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
& l& A+ u) M' }5 bplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".% e, ]0 w$ l0 C& I! d
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
1 _. Y+ K( s$ G Rthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
9 R1 \5 ?! S5 `7 w/ T! l9 Ukonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.6 ~3 x1 o4 M! c8 E8 f
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the3 b) }* X; F% z% Q; ]+ u5 q b6 ]3 b
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
( b+ {- I- s' ~5 ufotograf 20% shorter.$ U9 @8 I) w* m9 E7 v) o
4 `" v' z5 B4 ?0 U: [9 eIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
2 }. m: x6 V) J' Y/ Breach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
o' }+ [' a+ H/ I# w; L- C3 @* F4 }6 t( Z2 O# v
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
( b h5 S0 _- H; G: C6 l Hben a deterent to akurate speling./ j, J9 g; V% V) E. r7 N, f
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is6 t, ]8 K/ P% B- c/ d2 F
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and# X: F' d) B6 O- ^
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu4 I$ |5 _+ K3 b2 k& p2 H
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru." E& V/ N5 L2 F9 h- H! U i
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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