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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will* O% S2 s3 v) W' D7 a
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
# B; M# E0 `. Pthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English9 r1 H4 O( T) d
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in7 A7 S6 T; |' J5 ?% O4 F- u
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make+ B1 @ p8 O/ d- p+ ~
the sivil servants jump with joy.' C; e0 X" q- M- N
3 ~5 g' k( K J. r1 y0 eThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
& P/ }4 Q Q% l* u- ?( ~0 ?+ Jkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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! j. [% |- ^5 F" rThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
F; x3 N/ W. w" O$ L mtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like& o' Q2 T0 z6 o$ i+ Y
fotograf 20% shorter.
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, P5 a! v1 e* _' UIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
" \+ L3 B' J+ I: j' s+ ereach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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# y/ ?% Q: X( N7 |9 M. uGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always7 e+ |+ \8 w& U7 @5 q$ o) _5 V, w
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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! C0 f. x* q) o- E* w. iAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is. G! | [5 K( ?% `- g
disgrasful and it should go away.+ {" m: ^' k7 p
: a9 ]6 M5 ~8 vBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with6 g4 ~- v7 C7 r& s9 f8 G& o
"z" and "w" with "v".
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6 @" m6 ] I& r8 ]$ M% ]During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
+ L6 j/ k; G: t6 S, b" b, Z/ Y+ qafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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( g; [5 T" ^" B" x- d- YZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
; h& ~* R. i w- k4 s* vunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
! S1 }2 n ^5 n0 E" I+ IUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze/ i( x; T5 P% l
forst plas.( c% F1 f# n4 h
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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