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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
& ?- R6 e4 [; N E, F! M$ x4 w) Lbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was) N5 F2 N( Y. I; B
the other possibility.
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0 a1 ?4 F2 f, g3 v1 `/ M L8 fAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
4 k% Y# c& |% Z0 ]3 d$ D! X( {% Vspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
l) z; ]9 g1 pplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".- X/ a4 ?4 `7 p: ] F
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
* q& d/ W; l6 w( pthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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2 K+ x: _4 M1 G3 SThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
" c' |- o& l( h$ N. ]konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter., S9 Z0 B2 E; r3 p2 K, a/ h% h I
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the" i% I r+ D2 }$ i+ h- Y
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
2 k$ b* S! M+ w' [fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
1 k' U% G1 ]1 z/ a# e# X I! ^# qreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.9 w) h) l# I+ j" o
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always) W' | `$ ?" ^8 s& q: v- ^9 N
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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$ I8 u# @. {- m; `; E$ KAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is6 s! d: m3 P. C% j s. { p
disgrasful and it should go away./ T) e3 Y# @- e
, }8 B* ]9 A4 {3 J+ _By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with, S! i4 E5 ]" _$ W/ | }
"z" and "w" with "v".
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2 U1 R6 T' W$ Y- m. DDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and* j+ r2 N, r/ I8 N0 ^7 I
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.* k+ t# h/ W/ k' b; b
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu: C4 ^2 {# N5 D+ x3 T7 r1 g+ {
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
) [6 G0 G5 w* \& `2 jUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
- ^# n' k( k& @' iforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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