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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
9 t* m/ n- D) K6 Bbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
* r8 P' D& \9 }the other possibility.
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# q1 ^( O" P- p( Q2 E5 a5 IAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
/ Q: n: h; G% |5 `* k8 K/ w3 mspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
) s) r3 I4 X+ a$ Rplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".2 j' ^0 Y j( ]$ g: n% }. u7 i
( F5 V* w' e* m* I/ i) H- h1 hIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make) K |+ n) r5 D
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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9 D Z8 P' l( O+ S }" p. wThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
. I$ v" G2 H2 S+ Z3 w9 T' [konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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1 q1 p; J9 R! ?1 O) GThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the* J }3 R6 D4 v: _, C# l' I
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
2 Y5 t0 S: Y( X0 Vfotograf 20% shorter.! ^! f* d$ m& l
+ U9 h& r5 T( K. f* B; R5 |
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
% h% N: P, [( H' qreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.' ]9 j0 O3 b) l
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always! i% H" ]# t1 f2 f* f
ben a deterent to akurate speling.# l, O( Q: _& q( X! q: V
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
/ i& _! n3 L* Ydisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with' q) T/ T8 l6 _9 Q
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
0 V7 Z4 W9 m& h/ ^( @6 H2 ]after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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, W! o8 q2 h; A! a3 T1 m5 DZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu: c; p0 }6 u) Y. _& y, W
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.$ m4 ~4 ^5 P c7 a% v1 E
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze7 m% M; c; ]( k- H. l
forst plas.0 z3 ?. x& l# F
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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