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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
8 t/ o0 {8 A. |+ Fbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
2 Q, \9 f- J3 U. f. x: Y0 Gthe other possibility.
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* W! x( F4 l; bAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
% C' m5 Q, t+ K& \2 uspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in% l5 l4 r) S K" W2 w& Z' ~
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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u+ p9 u9 |7 K: [In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
. `7 X8 G9 y! {" ~9 J \% s4 N% y9 R2 J" Dthe sivil servants jump with joy./ I5 ^3 x2 M! R1 q: U( z
/ j; z2 ~/ r. ^9 s' r4 P+ F$ RThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
3 z* B! K9 _- _. O5 P( v: }konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.4 Z1 ?2 j& N) z j( f0 _/ ^7 q. e
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+ Q& h3 w4 b8 O! }( ]; l) r5 BThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the! S' u% w2 A6 I \# Y2 s
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
X; A6 H& v0 x$ i- m% |) |! g0 q: qfotograf 20% shorter.& f. F! Q. [' w/ A! W( s
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to+ ^: P' E a8 |: s0 O
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.( e+ @- P2 {$ R# q' B, p7 P
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
1 T! W3 O' S; ?" A0 o+ jben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
+ n7 J* r: J' G! Y+ Xdisgrasful and it should go away.
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+ V+ T6 r) _$ X2 uBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with5 ?7 P: L0 B1 b% Y
"z" and "w" with "v".$ H6 X8 m9 G( R0 e" m. T- d( b
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
: l8 k. k2 q: T2 |3 \after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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! \5 o7 t: A) z. QZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
, P2 A, C% Y+ g5 ` v+ X1 junderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 x* X1 U" A5 u( TUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze- i* A0 f6 c/ u5 v( |
forst plas.
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7 ~8 M+ o0 i+ x* HIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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