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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
; }! e$ Z7 {, v$ s) f% H) D' P/ t9 Hbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
2 s3 F/ g/ t* X4 R0 Othe other possibility./ p2 ]9 ?* c6 ]# O$ N9 w* J1 K
- Q. k! m8 `. R- t1 g, @5 WAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English: X, K# f; l6 ?9 ^& u
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in8 l+ K- k$ e7 x" N6 D
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
/ ?- u3 C. n9 G" Z/ Rthe sivil servants jump with joy.# N; G, V3 ], x. @
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
" D2 I4 o2 D) T' D; n& y: `1 n! b0 Tkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.9 U+ d* ]0 L0 f
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2 O+ l3 m( }- _) ~& l$ @There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the6 S; I! \( l9 Z+ W8 s% @. w
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like* i- @$ E& K1 |
fotograf 20% shorter." G4 w6 \: }( S( f' _3 c6 { U! j5 C
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to6 J$ {1 F% h0 ^# m+ T
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.- K+ p$ `9 \7 k1 v: x( f* p
# S0 a6 m5 _, E+ C: g% DGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always( d; l/ ?3 q1 U
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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9 B: Q* B0 y1 M6 KAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is3 H- `3 K9 ?% K' H$ v
disgrasful and it should go away.
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+ f' Z' S, R/ x- xBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with7 J; d. U5 x# t- g) P/ m
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and6 c2 f1 _9 A6 h2 [8 i& V, Y
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.0 Y7 e; ]+ R6 x' O
9 T5 A# V2 S6 C# ^Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
i& S( n( e) w8 L8 Ounderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
/ p1 d+ `) I" z% Q7 k: q; nUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze7 P0 X7 r7 r$ d7 \
forst plas.
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" h1 ^* q5 @; s1 H3 u' C4 v, `; MIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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