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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
7 c! G* _" _9 E" Q% kbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was) U3 J3 O& y! ~% Q2 s
the other possibility.2 a( H/ a$ E* f/ F: E
5 ]2 w) A4 j/ |/ n3 ]5 GAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English/ o( s g$ m( e
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
/ N B7 F7 H( S: V1 X3 _plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".+ m6 Q& t3 z( ?. B" I5 f! @
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
% M: W$ z2 Z4 a2 Pthe sivil servants jump with joy.! l% f: W6 M w c: h
6 ]" k7 g9 s. k* q$ k: r& WThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
, {: e; s- @- Lkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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- z8 \+ ]0 t. {# V- sThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
: T; u& o" Q( d# n+ t7 otroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like0 [4 k' X; Z0 l
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to/ Z6 t: ^9 O' ?6 u: @0 g7 U
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.# C$ [9 o# Z; i6 S r3 ~& ^1 C: E
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
2 a; c4 Z' S$ d, ~- Cben a deterent to akurate speling.+ i7 Y' w* R. H3 W( K
! @& S. o9 i- KAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
* K8 H! b; ?2 {( ~1 R1 gdisgrasful and it should go away.7 D/ Y; D5 Z; K1 F" V: p
/ U# p0 [5 N- M7 EBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with$ m8 Y" X+ h0 k% J
"z" and "w" with "v".
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8 F4 N0 T9 |/ S( m3 E: g! V6 p5 ZDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and+ x9 l" ~7 K. ~9 T# B& d
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.' B* W! \6 r* b
" b5 n- y6 `1 k# V* h4 zZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu/ k0 d6 k$ ?. U% k
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
4 ?! O) ~& ?* B0 xUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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3 ~. U& v+ g( B: o3 i7 E- L3 V3 wIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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