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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will/ }7 W4 m" |- ]) ?( O) m
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
& o/ F( [9 ^6 V( v0 J# X" Ythe other possibility.7 G+ E' m4 m. g t4 q0 o1 P: X
4 H9 \6 R# ^2 |; AAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
: i: i8 e' V. r& T( i" `spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in0 v7 v* O/ s) l& q8 X6 g
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
) B! ^5 x; Z9 X5 ]the sivil servants jump with joy.5 o H- q2 C/ g. x
2 l' ~% K! a* V7 G, m( nThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up4 k1 [. `! Z$ |6 _1 w8 t( M7 F
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.5 b! Y, p- v+ L, q# T
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
: H1 T7 b U9 J' a* wtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like2 B( e; O- f$ m; ]7 S w6 s8 ?
fotograf 20% shorter.0 k* `8 L0 b: N) t0 |5 Z R* ]* v8 Q
7 S! s, x9 ^/ X6 @. C& h* ?In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to9 `2 N# f3 b: I# c7 b! a: Q
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always6 u! t* d: |( z, n9 Y
ben a deterent to akurate speling.' J$ {* v+ `, N7 z& z8 {
: Z7 j7 u$ [% _8 L/ Q& s- M1 g9 uAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is: Y2 a* O/ L$ \, b# |& O
disgrasful and it should go away.
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9 [# O, W5 v$ b* Q5 |' JBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
w4 f7 @/ s! H1 o& x"z" and "w" with "v".: O' N4 x4 S ^4 e/ q/ s
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
# f- `; e. V; ]! S. m, o! j& k+ Y# Dafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.* X! n- e' b' Y' F0 z4 E
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu/ e+ W4 o6 F" }( ^( J
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
- e5 T% m3 K s. u/ L% Q0 V& ZUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze0 a" o0 Y4 H$ U7 X1 x' T6 y9 w {( `0 f
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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