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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will9 `" P9 A4 ?$ Y1 e$ D
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
% ]% I, F# K5 p- r, e. ]' [% Wthe other possibility.
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2 x" D& o! I Y9 EAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
+ u" W2 I/ \$ N/ k7 d& _2 ospelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in$ @! y. `) q/ Z9 S
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".9 k+ k% Z! U% [! z- T
" T8 y2 U6 e9 U9 |In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
. z: o; y' t! pthe sivil servants jump with joy.9 e4 t$ A( {+ u# E; J: J8 H
- Z7 M3 x& C" O ^" sThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
3 |" ?4 B, q# I" w5 Y9 o3 x+ Pkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.+ O4 {) }9 M7 T! r+ U4 X$ a
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the# N9 E* ?! B T& q
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
- y4 A f `% m; Y7 Dfotograf 20% shorter.
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6 q0 d0 Q# S5 B, ^; AIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
3 h6 }! {5 O: I4 C4 V2 Treach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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. t0 |6 z% W$ a% dGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
3 N6 W7 C$ ?3 d0 X) s4 f% f7 hben a deterent to akurate speling.( Z" t F2 D2 v m/ s& @
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
0 b, S7 u) q, [disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
- ~1 D& L0 _# G0 a" t9 T9 }"z" and "w" with "v".
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- A% I4 G* g4 W5 ADuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and. U$ m- l! G. r6 d1 d3 d
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu$ d- P4 e( }5 w J0 h/ X' P+ Y: J
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.8 j& W0 f+ b% E& c* Z* \
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
! \/ Q0 F8 N3 x$ N3 zforst plas., V8 I# v$ {6 l3 c8 H0 b$ Z
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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