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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
/ J: ?2 H; x# M) \& e! Dbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was; V4 w& O3 z% s% ?
the other possibility.- k$ p4 T7 R. Q
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English- \% G& y7 }: z: r" S
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in: r8 T5 \: `3 _8 }8 v; s
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"." M1 ?3 N- I& K% ]' ~% s: O, S
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make H% H/ z6 ]' ^3 m. T
the sivil servants jump with joy.( ]! H( h1 e& ~" R4 `8 j& u5 I
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up6 O8 ~7 h; v7 G5 v* _ N$ f+ e% ^
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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; {' s6 U7 V$ \ YThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
4 T1 U7 J* e ^/ ntroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
( | v+ O8 I& p9 _( Qfotograf 20% shorter.
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% a7 A7 _4 \9 d6 lIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
' ?' ^$ U( l0 ]2 z5 qreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always1 a c5 C) p% @* H
ben a deterent to akurate speling.5 }: F( i$ T; t! z$ K7 m: v
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
7 n2 \8 o/ a2 g' sdisgrasful and it should go away.( i7 s# C- N" q1 s# `. ^7 }
+ z% q, H0 G5 g8 w8 mBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with* @; a, ]% [+ D
"z" and "w" with "v"." H* R! H6 z e+ G" }& f% M
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and9 \: j; ]6 J) P; [: O
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
0 m X0 w# @- j& c7 _ Qunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
3 ]( l# _( e. ^3 P+ IUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze2 k3 G K+ q3 g% r% a
forst plas.+ A, C( y5 G/ C$ i. W6 M
5 G5 m* K6 t" Y J" c+ Z3 u/ z h5 pIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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