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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
, i7 T$ p% B' t- `& zbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
2 }1 h6 }$ \3 h( q. l/ ]8 a U$ ^the other possibility.) n. N+ n. _7 G/ P: b
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
- w1 {8 g' d. Y+ W" Jspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
2 P4 R, e/ R1 @! ~3 b& [' |plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".: _7 D' T0 l( V# c: k6 i/ }/ L
, h7 e: f# ?$ j; {In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make5 A! e% s6 \6 J$ q4 p" r6 E: P: A
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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) e% E. k6 y0 T0 M2 k& sThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up# e9 w: w1 C6 {; x8 K
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
' U( {% h+ B% F2 K) R6 G: A8 N4 U( r2 c
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the6 G- H! }2 o( ]& P$ J% x! {' |
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
$ s' ^& } o, B& Qfotograf 20% shorter.' n" p# I2 [3 C5 g! Q. G
" G+ |- q9 T+ l" iIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to9 z; K+ B8 D M: x1 G8 T1 K$ `
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. ?5 j! }8 D! f, k6 s( o
! u- V# o- t# L ~- k9 gGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always: j- p( B1 I$ L2 `7 _# [4 W0 d
ben a deterent to akurate speling./ ^( ?) u1 D% ]* t
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is2 z. Y, p9 B) P, W% r9 s
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with" B2 e5 G6 r2 N2 t% c
"z" and "w" with "v"./ @* V# ^9 b# I
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and; o8 N3 V0 [7 t* z7 I
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
% k& F& ?: H% b! Cunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
' H7 l. |- d; e. _9 jUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze1 h, Y9 C1 j' N* l% m
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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