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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will( k) H2 J% P) k" l" ?" _: P2 ^
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was1 ^6 [' I( O+ D8 m1 H! S
the other possibility." k* J6 D# X# X. D
5 z3 S& ?! c8 s9 V8 b2 }As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English0 A8 S' T5 B/ U2 G! Z' L3 `; M) I/ ]
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in9 Y4 P" a i. k7 s0 l
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".9 C2 i2 h1 O' _1 W6 S: Q }; N. f
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
Q4 P7 D, ~/ Q* fthe sivil servants jump with joy.5 @" c# L1 I0 [# H7 C+ i% e9 R
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up( L! o* l+ s/ T6 h6 `5 y0 }
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.9 _- T3 [$ ?% w# e1 T
+ v8 \8 [) E" \9 a$ q$ |( Y7 Q
/ s& x, o7 K) gThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
% G5 S; v: H: U9 q# a7 b2 C( ytroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like$ F. q* ^* q9 m8 }+ t+ V3 _0 l) o
fotograf 20% shorter.* A$ F; g0 ?8 ?& P' {
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to6 w9 C. Q1 @6 X% f
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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5 f4 g: ^/ r7 @* d& CGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always2 j9 {5 [! f' `7 M! z
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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" I- [' ^6 P9 S" U5 J G8 J/ xAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
1 y4 R+ ^0 n' F+ J9 M, ldisgrasful and it should go away.
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: _# s, q+ [, a' A! l! [/ O# z) H# ABy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with; s5 t' t8 M- [+ x, G, }
"z" and "w" with "v".) t4 o# E. |% y: ]
$ r5 R- ]- c& p8 @During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
* d0 z+ j) t8 K7 c* {: v( s9 |- _5 ?3 Mafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu7 R5 R) U* D# G
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
' T+ A" j/ z3 [. L( s6 h$ kUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
8 P2 w; J& V7 y0 t8 q) n8 E6 D1 Rforst plas.6 f% \" U/ a9 M& x$ Q; O
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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