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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
) k1 Q( t+ w' C' O9 }7 ?3 Kbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was' [' i, H( h; m+ Z- U' n! k
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English, |0 \0 k) `' J! K
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in0 H0 {9 e% o6 A' E
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".. ]) S6 t1 r4 F' M$ O. M
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
/ `5 R# p4 r, A' W6 r' rthe sivil servants jump with joy.( h" ^; ?4 y1 P, X
" W5 q& w0 z- n& BThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
: \3 }7 ^% ^+ {9 akonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the# G2 ? @' G" ~* x, f! s! u
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like0 f7 ^* W5 ?* y! K1 k- F" a
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
. o# Z+ Q# n1 i* D4 r7 Mreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
0 \+ ^! K& {0 a* v% iben a deterent to akurate speling.
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' [6 i( Y# s+ U( o, t5 T% s S+ l NAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
) U# K* D) @- h9 {disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
; s% ] J/ Q8 M1 G4 c0 V0 b! @( Q"z" and "w" with "v".& K7 T. I$ u0 z7 l2 r# y( S/ Z
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
" J/ ~5 M- F! F% aafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl., ?' w1 x5 E, i; u
. s: D3 s- {* ]Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
* l! M8 Z4 h2 ]; W( Z: t/ A V8 Qunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.. O5 L Z( [' J# X8 m8 g) g
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze% A2 K8 p0 U8 [) F. y
forst plas.6 x$ |3 H0 E* c% j A
) O. C, M9 B& ^- k2 ]" nIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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