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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
, D: k6 A* `' O& s% Wbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was( s$ h; L5 B. c/ ]7 M5 M7 r
the other possibility.6 f! ^% X0 ^( |5 \) R' x+ W& w" v
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
0 |7 u6 J7 K0 U, Jspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in7 v! e M1 I2 L0 D5 m
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".* s1 H/ m" b5 {
( J4 x7 n9 S, g) K9 a- AIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make3 g% p' n& D* T( I
the sivil servants jump with joy.* t% M- |/ y6 H
# C5 h5 @ T7 V( u7 R3 f" ZThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up4 P; h, a' \0 X) R6 T# ^5 `4 [
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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5 e% b' F6 b9 K4 ?! K5 z3 ?There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
" E" V7 f) t' G& Etroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
$ P, l& R# f1 L# K9 K2 J; \9 @fotograf 20% shorter.8 G% k/ Z& l0 z) C ~/ e% `1 L
2 j( Q9 a7 d6 J* GIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
i" T* H6 X- s# n# creach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always+ ]4 |5 l) v$ e5 u- |2 |- e. }* a
ben a deterent to akurate speling./ E7 `$ B& Q% ^5 V3 C. C7 n% v
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
! y7 ?) ?: V. S9 |" X: @disgrasful and it should go away.9 L% K5 }3 S5 a. |2 V
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with3 t4 a4 B# _- N, U4 E
"z" and "w" with "v".$ u5 g- K( M/ S' L7 _
2 V3 g) Q- a6 O' t' H2 `During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and+ Q b4 U. a3 W0 z; n) b3 g- x+ R
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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G" ?" ]$ x8 v' u4 @+ Q' `Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
/ ~, L' ~. h) w# ]( G1 Funderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.! _8 D6 N. ]0 P( _* c7 ]5 S5 O% T! ~! G
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze, \- g2 N7 i t) h8 {# X5 Z" G$ l
forst plas." B: S9 F- `, X( {
* k2 b- e3 r) S& ^5 B% M' sIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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