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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
# N# \: C; H; s' O% _be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
8 W. Z7 c& G1 d* A5 @the other possibility.
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7 B7 ^' E( D5 J$ ?, F ^5 pAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
2 U3 J* @4 R2 B2 i4 \spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
7 U) I: J/ D& k, |+ }# hplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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/ ^' R3 k: P m6 y. RIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make* P4 ?% ]& x9 y6 |* p1 C
the sivil servants jump with joy.3 I1 |+ T7 ?. |
0 X& J+ d' L7 i U& NThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
( f5 c5 }+ s) Vkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the% o- F; _4 K* G, i. E, F' I5 k$ M o
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
- x! [% r5 ^* E3 {0 p: Qfotograf 20% shorter./ B9 N2 L; ?- i) M3 t
0 H: y* H0 h7 ]5 R* ]In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to& C2 J) z( h4 e: E: A8 M
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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6 J o& ] A) ~0 A, U9 O( _Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always E& L5 N7 [( N! r! T- _$ R6 D9 u
ben a deterent to akurate speling.6 z, N) Q, D8 q) O
" @" F$ Q: y' P5 F, U* \Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is7 j( ~* N! p# n9 |8 `
disgrasful and it should go away.' c5 a, o! ~7 W2 F" T
% ~9 @2 V$ L7 a( ]4 z+ k1 r1 ]By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with% g- ^; r) s5 Z) J
"z" and "w" with "v".
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& R: p4 B0 ]9 h2 T! B4 ADuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and7 Y% T% B% F% @
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.9 E7 a5 I: T2 ~+ g4 Q: @$ i
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
! Y, x: Q* u( o& @" l5 O- a. V4 iunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.+ M1 f6 k" ?2 P5 o8 L7 d2 {* O7 X: \
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze" V9 S+ A* o* t% f f
forst plas.
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, F9 U. a6 E% l* G) K4 ~If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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