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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
; g& F" g) a0 J8 w; Dbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
0 P& ?5 q1 H& Rthe other possibility.# N3 @, H1 a. B7 A
1 j- s$ W: Q6 Y0 x2 LAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English/ d5 F5 F8 U- [
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
) P' E& O' N6 }* F% c( h. H, vplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"., q, r E S9 S" m3 ]! y
: M7 F! E: i) p; c% {/ x+ U/ b0 YIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
( `, d& }' D' v3 b0 s8 jthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
, U5 Z+ }0 y+ W7 Tkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
& A, k8 L8 s# X+ e$ K1 [" l$ Stroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like# }! _: n% U8 {9 ]4 C
fotograf 20% shorter.+ _3 L2 Y& X! y! Z& G/ L
$ U7 K1 X- T2 D8 LIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to% e( | m8 _6 {8 @4 O6 b' s8 {
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. ~- J$ J% H. J% r$ X
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always4 `- G7 y# s. _+ [
ben a deterent to akurate speling.$ R- | X, f" G
6 V$ a# y, c+ Q3 q$ g- W0 L' UAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
- l- V0 N5 q+ P/ [4 k( cdisgrasful and it should go away.8 g4 R7 f6 Y- Q" O! q
8 B/ g" b4 t Q) {By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with2 M7 i: I7 l* ?6 i, j
"z" and "w" with "v".! [) v2 e6 m5 B* W% G
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
; W* L' @' C, s, safter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.. c5 H: Y4 a9 A( a
6 ~1 S2 Z, l& PZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
2 b7 `2 w6 U# }) r, j/ U% iunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru., Z$ P$ r2 I+ K5 o4 t: T5 a$ l
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze( X. t+ I E- _
forst plas.
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6 B: c- s# u9 v' P0 B+ ?If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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