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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will$ p2 @. u/ u. }& j
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
p( V9 U+ Z- Y) |the other possibility.
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, `4 f% n! L; M/ j* C- @As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English7 v1 |8 M" W. s* ~
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
2 J) g r0 n; K/ u* T- Oplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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5 L2 ] ?; G# q1 JIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
0 T4 U) r+ E. [: Z& b! Zthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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& q. f/ M% e: g; _. G2 YThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up- F4 [: Z6 ^. q% U8 ?
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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: K ~9 ^3 {( R1 ^+ p% j7 G2 ?* hThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
# g6 z$ R- \$ u3 W7 n2 Gtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
* p( Z9 E7 d+ u' N: I1 jfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to- e; _! T4 y0 U( r
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.9 \3 Q w3 Y- w4 l6 K* B
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always: O; f Y1 e j8 X: K
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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7 U/ Z$ w/ ~# M: Y% s# j& `Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is: E# X1 @# d" r7 ?4 }- [( Z
disgrasful and it should go away." L2 D3 w% i0 i7 ]) C
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
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! ]7 x3 D& L7 L- M8 A5 JDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and: u! \ D9 M4 Y2 ~0 {
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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& J' y2 _: c7 I6 Q/ `; z" _4 K$ }Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu6 n0 U- g0 N5 Y0 H) u3 q) E
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
5 o5 }( T# u6 {9 k8 v( h h: `Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
* `: s9 e2 L8 R! Vforst plas.
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6 S. t) _ N- wIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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