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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
# w; `3 \ K0 [# O; tbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was* o2 D# X7 X5 D4 R0 d: g* q. h
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English9 m/ M5 V" d2 ?; n! u/ m
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in- l* s4 _1 X ~, X
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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: ~9 _' B' k( p2 mIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make! Z9 r- y4 S& ], {
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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6 O+ S! p! G0 P) `" [% a; jThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up( ^2 u" o; M3 a9 B9 Y/ m
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter., [& A1 t4 ]! y
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% y* y+ i7 W* B/ P; N4 CThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
! b7 l: j% j" J8 l, Z0 Ntroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
) C. X I0 g/ ?( x! ]fotograf 20% shorter.
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, t. T1 }7 C3 h. m1 \In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
6 ]- z0 F# U: F9 Q/ Qreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible., D' _7 z) Q3 P- Q8 e- G5 B
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
/ r( h: D% f1 B: u& rben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is# j: A0 F: W3 P) A* Q, M! g
disgrasful and it should go away.
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+ o: U+ R2 ]' Q4 O- b' ^+ o' a/ B! PBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with/ m' Q8 q: y J+ R; k6 i
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and# L, h/ P7 a1 @5 |
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl., A' G. i+ X8 O! S$ W1 E% b' i0 }: k7 z( U
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu6 z9 ~" B$ `7 a8 \" t
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.( H3 X z, r2 ?
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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