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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will- r- C8 E' l' T7 ~4 B
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was9 I5 p! P) F0 G6 v, k2 s
the other possibility.: B$ U: W5 o# S! P
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
- B* V5 Y R) C& g! fspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in" v: O# |4 F% U) I
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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2 |" m6 u$ [5 b8 i% OIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make7 e, j% Y, x7 P) L+ a: j9 c6 l: w2 X
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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( R& C8 |. K, }The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up W5 S0 Q2 c& x- b/ Q3 X/ @+ \$ _5 E3 Z
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.. ^% L! v5 n* V8 c) t2 R
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1 ^4 `+ `& C( e: Q! uThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the3 }8 y/ D! e+ s( J: q
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
5 e3 K' j" _6 w$ Rfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
! f$ O4 W ~! b2 u9 L/ jreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always3 a' ^, d T* u& Z7 @2 m$ c
ben a deterent to akurate speling.' i6 V. h5 M6 ^6 g# k9 t
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
2 J- b; B* a' Ldisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with @+ s6 t& X+ T: `6 U$ M
"z" and "w" with "v".
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. I+ T( f/ U* B' a i( x; {1 k D% HDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and* r" S! c5 V5 P, d" c
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.! d, ?6 e/ d V! u
$ r$ P, B+ V4 Z- p8 vZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
- N2 P5 W% b. ]understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.7 Q+ Z5 a4 m, {9 g
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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- Z7 {8 F* g; x8 R2 h" S3 f# WIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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