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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will8 F, P; G" E: V- I6 O6 P# C( H/ m9 A
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was# @2 e1 l: L1 L* m' n! ]
the other possibility.1 }: J* [2 g, n5 R
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
/ g4 f) P: P( h/ [1 Y1 X* aspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in$ x$ Q" c0 s# E
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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p9 `( m5 B2 X3 HIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make9 `& ?9 z. O3 `" [0 L1 Y. Y+ _# N- ?6 p
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
) u" m1 k& n% o" L$ fkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
+ L; L! p5 |* I" H; C( M# e' V9 {$ c$ f
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
/ K# t7 ]4 V, y" a. Ctroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
: g( m$ `* _$ {+ Hfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to! X! C7 k& A' J" F4 ?; X
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.+ v6 X3 J5 f0 y4 l9 l( ?9 P3 e4 w
/ D" \8 o8 c b8 OGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
: Z: b* a/ X/ M3 ]$ x# I1 ^ben a deterent to akurate speling. s7 X1 e: a3 h
' v; ~5 C" W1 M a: x) PAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
# B; Z; s8 X9 G; I: b1 i$ |+ Hdisgrasful and it should go away. V& u1 u+ y6 b) i* Q+ w# X
( j$ ~% P5 z8 o( x" _By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
7 F; n1 r! g# q6 ?- E+ C"z" and "w" with "v".5 _! z- W" m) ~: ^
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
- D# Y: U7 E1 iafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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& f& d1 F* C% C! t; ?& w- c% iZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu5 Q, N. o6 g, X, v0 I9 T& v
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
V; z/ f1 j8 i' g8 ]# H, HUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze5 i! U' b" b& w2 a
forst plas.- n/ B, o- S$ V4 R* t5 E. Q
, S' U, K! @# @2 A4 d/ WIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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