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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
d7 I: x* M' C$ n3 P1 c( e# f) ~8 rbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was$ H/ P9 z- o& F2 E
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English% m, }9 n; r p4 I4 { \5 Q9 \
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
4 r \) L% C/ L! B6 d4 H Tplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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# ?. m9 r1 `2 b6 vIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
; F% o f* C+ c+ |the sivil servants jump with joy.7 t0 ]& ?4 n0 v" P
6 b% |. Z' x& _, }The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
, a1 K# M3 A' p5 A8 G/ J9 g% t D nkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. u* `: @( ]* t9 g* p
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; H* P& q4 H- ~( M) ~! {" l8 qThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
4 ]# E+ W* A: `. ^8 Otroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
( u7 E8 v. V$ p7 w9 v1 \# Ifotograf 20% shorter.
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$ o; l5 k0 V/ h) d/ n7 w$ X+ FIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
" h3 V$ _0 F, p+ S, i: ireach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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2 Y# T+ p1 q0 _" @Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always2 P1 R0 k. P4 g
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is9 n1 U- c) j4 ?3 I' k% N" P# V: ^
disgrasful and it should go away.
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* o5 U9 ?5 M+ t7 P' [By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
. p. l8 f! t4 z, s' U"z" and "w" with "v".
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$ w5 Q" N, |; l2 ~! oDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and4 s( K6 K6 K7 ^# `9 v9 h$ O, h
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.7 f5 e# e3 {+ [8 W A0 P
8 }: | x. C4 F* B9 r* wZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
7 N& P) m% ]2 }& x! {understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
J- H* i/ @8 ? C0 L/ N* VUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze. {6 ]1 m3 q! A+ Y& m4 @
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+ b! F* d, z. B; aIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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