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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
, q& |8 h% y, s7 l5 Nbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was4 P3 I( [/ D' k8 h! q6 ]2 m% O
the other possibility.. L) M5 O8 s. L
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
4 E' {1 U( i( d b6 U: U, E4 X$ Qspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in) W5 _: N/ p: ], u- F7 q$ v) K# {
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".- t1 {. M' n- D4 i% w7 J C
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
! [, N# \3 d6 U/ | c2 Qthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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+ p: a- R% m ?$ ~0 Q" cThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up: A m& [/ {+ F! C# y% J
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the6 \, ]* Z/ L* {8 V6 G: v! @
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like" H/ [( P# R; ?8 E5 T& p O k
fotograf 20% shorter.3 ^0 V7 S. V$ m7 }: I+ j
: H4 m4 o- @3 \$ X4 i+ ^In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
G8 T. b& Z6 _8 @" breach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.% `( y. e/ A& q! d" F
s* u. J& ?) @3 B
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
% D8 y7 u: z ^7 R2 S% ?) bben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is9 ^/ K$ I2 |% u* W E
disgrasful and it should go away.+ S$ l' U! E: |' Z9 c2 r6 z3 d
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
, P3 H5 R# o6 U& w1 n" _"z" and "w" with "v".0 f; h3 f; j; W( _$ A: g, K
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and& r5 i/ w% N5 [
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.9 T* s8 b# `6 ^. q* t5 l
- M" a) Z8 h3 r( U; aZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
" T5 D0 t/ A# O. n0 lunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
- t7 W4 S3 @, k- s7 V6 m& JUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze( m) p2 _+ S$ u
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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