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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will# _# f! }1 U8 [/ f" Q: g7 [9 N
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
9 Q. l( Q K7 uthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English$ s) K4 y& z$ U
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in. s+ {# k5 D- Q5 c) k9 p& |
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".$ j+ r1 U0 [$ s2 X
% z( \: d: G1 R+ X: o- UIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
7 l( c; P& k0 o! e5 s5 Cthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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' K6 [: s9 @, e u2 OThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up' C/ F; E4 I* f8 r' c
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the( J8 X: X) h( x$ m
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
/ r) d0 y2 q3 d7 K4 a9 k5 G/ yfotograf 20% shorter./ [; z9 `# \7 ]( a' A( Q
9 z4 b/ C: B$ f. m- Y+ O0 gIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
; N7 G9 U) p$ e( U4 xreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
& ^1 Y" f" ` R5 iben a deterent to akurate speling.
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& |9 F8 X+ B1 R( D* ]Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
5 p5 d" r% ~9 E" kdisgrasful and it should go away.% F( w9 c5 J' f4 s' U, [
7 r0 n$ T _* [0 iBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with0 z3 a7 j) g' ^/ |. B; E: U( k
"z" and "w" with "v".6 A/ }7 J9 A) f- q, c
) j+ o/ ]* q+ b# {: b% wDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and3 ?0 O# N7 `1 g& C3 i$ G
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl., R/ T' C0 G3 Q* M* f6 [
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu: }/ n4 C5 b: h& k
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.. n( F' E+ l) O1 }
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze0 F! c# K: Q+ @! f
forst plas.- p9 n5 |7 v, z5 k) ~9 x" ^% ^8 ]: @$ _
1 t: R5 I: @ a' P8 yIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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