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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will. t9 I: g J0 T$ c4 e
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
( o* C% A; N h( W; g7 s" U) bthe other possibility.
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6 F( i9 q \0 E v: t, LAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
% y, j9 r$ M' b' Y3 J* C% b2 @spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in! C$ t u1 v/ D/ F9 w% {
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".9 M2 }: l# y& e8 L$ j8 t$ n
! |5 m" ?: R( v) ]! N- aIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make2 S$ l* ^( I7 F, t" G* E# K9 R
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
7 `- p4 g* v* E5 c0 Ukonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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. g5 l+ [5 q: v8 T( t6 EThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
& L- m9 i/ t& x3 m8 j& ]troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
6 W/ v& T+ n5 R: E5 Rfotograf 20% shorter.: L) Z! a. s- P( G& j- ~
( T7 e+ {$ T( C! a! V, yIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to+ c9 e. ~4 I& F4 @' Z) w
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.' S" v9 n. c2 V5 e) C9 L# f
0 ^. B5 ~' N% ?, b. S2 tGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
6 S# b# s. U$ e( `) l6 [ben a deterent to akurate speling." s; ]% M: J$ C- Q: d" G4 `9 P1 s9 k
0 x9 ~/ i6 `6 {7 {Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
1 Z9 S" @# R4 p1 R4 b+ @disgrasful and it should go away.
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/ ~ [) U \) vBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
$ Z& @) @' [0 r7 N) Y"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and) k+ g% o0 O0 }4 T. |: P
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
9 _0 `# ]/ E: Funderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
$ M5 z: c5 T/ h; ^2 z, [4 }Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze0 U4 V7 ?3 @6 O/ K
forst plas.
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8 z6 l2 d/ B# B K1 F4 V& lIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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