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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will" p( o2 t8 w- {
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was: ~0 H6 j$ B6 x2 \9 r
the other possibility.: [( L$ p: O% c# O
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English+ B8 S3 J1 d9 U1 ~/ s" w. C7 l3 Y p
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
5 [* O9 ~& ~7 U$ M5 @plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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2 n) `; u4 a- _$ B& R2 P; EIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make5 y3 N, }/ \" o" q' y6 n5 `
the sivil servants jump with joy. {! s/ P/ |0 h: |& l+ v7 l1 P
8 J6 f, `% X; @: r, v* P/ g6 ^' EThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
p+ T$ M7 K6 E8 u0 a2 rkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.! i! j. g7 k3 B2 V( c Z
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8 L+ \+ T; C' A% p" z2 G- {There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the) e, }5 N( q' _6 x+ K3 M$ Q. U; r
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
# i8 R: {& q5 |; l/ G( {5 yfotograf 20% shorter." f! b! y1 z# g
* V2 g) O. Z B- D6 pIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
3 H% A9 S% ~% _0 s9 |+ _reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
3 r0 ]0 j q7 w" Dben a deterent to akurate speling.# l+ g$ n& b/ F! _$ p U
- n) N9 q: c/ ^9 fAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is. ]+ W; b! x- p; r
disgrasful and it should go away.* y- Z j2 ~% i! o4 Z9 {
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with) F* p; ]; B/ o2 Z- t) U
"z" and "w" with "v".
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& ]. m5 }6 F H8 B. R: m0 iDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and B1 t4 A# w2 ~" [8 y( S8 Z4 [
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.( L" D8 ~- G' m m
4 |- Z1 f. p8 y# DZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu1 E' }0 p; {. G( y0 _* j
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.4 I3 u' n7 g( ]6 |/ R% s
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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1 ]. i2 p* t7 ^1 G$ e$ j' lIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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