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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will0 @ }: b7 s- Z& S
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was& v4 g! [0 I# V& T, A
the other possibility.
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; z5 w. ?4 ^" K+ hAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English% d, k( Y$ n0 {, u) |! i. ]5 t
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in8 H# }: U% ?7 E; ?& |+ X5 a
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".% h) }/ W9 F0 d5 _6 {
( f# q: e3 _& `2 f' q$ @In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
. W; M: k5 w U( b, Mthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
/ f+ Y% e2 U9 B, O8 Zkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.: G ~. w' {2 U3 D( z" U
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* x1 H& D6 m, m& }There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
# g; L1 W. n( F" C. h- jtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
' c8 d3 M" Y# u5 k8 cfotograf 20% shorter.
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2 H6 X. V/ e( `: DIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
* }) _: W; v6 ~3 treach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.: h% m3 a+ c. h
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
# K. Y3 @9 _. |% bben a deterent to akurate speling.
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# n$ |2 h7 @& R+ K. C, a3 qAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
# s. }, h3 E% O/ Z+ n& p) g8 h0 jdisgrasful and it should go away.
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! M' l4 b0 j: a* y) u. H7 uBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
$ K9 \: p: A, j e2 s* ?& ~! R: L"z" and "w" with "v". a$ f1 M! E- C
0 k7 f: Z0 Q$ y) `During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and. {, q; |' i8 n2 z, M7 S# B2 ]
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
1 r. r9 ~6 K" ?understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
6 U0 R, j& J9 d% iUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
: I- ? U6 B. q! E8 Y/ ^8 l) v7 }forst plas.
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( \) N @0 M! v1 GIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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