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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
" U% F. c4 ?3 X+ @, Z+ H8 Z7 lbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
# [- K/ ]) [. ~" P$ J1 ?- {the other possibility.# \. E3 Q$ y4 m- l/ ^, u% D5 b
/ g7 \3 [$ ^2 G& \! X0 X) P6 C4 LAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
. ~8 k9 W. q' O' v/ V7 ]spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in$ F# V, t2 S% D5 ~% \9 R
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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+ ]$ p! E0 W8 O; v$ iIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
3 v8 B" }0 ^* n; _the sivil servants jump with joy.( U5 ?9 E+ I9 a8 s
8 U& I. }, u. }! ~, QThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
( h# L* K; ~1 s* Tkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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1 e. I; G: h" X! aThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
; A2 l) G' @1 N: @4 g; o( |" U0 Ytroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like/ {. }7 y/ B2 D4 ~; c' w! R& c
fotograf 20% shorter.' [/ a) P! ^) g
5 {* c( S% }1 w7 v! f9 {In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
# {7 G3 g ^/ z7 r7 ?7 breach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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; Y1 ?" c" V; j+ a9 w6 O3 j( tGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
/ }* Q7 q; A7 N2 Cben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is2 L }# v( Z& E; S+ F
disgrasful and it should go away.; w3 C! |5 k+ F
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
6 z0 |, L5 G- p$ |! [; @+ |: U"z" and "w" with "v".
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# z( {2 a4 V3 N/ X, F6 O+ }$ PDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
# {' L) x# L7 L: v$ S/ i; H: mafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
u( ]6 ]5 G! n# P* y, r; aunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru." R7 t% c' Q; J& ?5 I" R6 ]9 a
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze/ `" h7 u, |# U) M j/ ^- v i
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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