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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will. x8 U! _5 v$ p9 ~2 K: T
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was: |& ~/ D% F1 N! c+ v/ u
the other possibility.
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: C( f0 a$ e* M6 X# zAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English5 A" |$ v1 M' _, \' ~& F* u
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
- E8 c4 W4 \+ o" v5 dplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make# A' i) J0 n6 Y2 T
the sivil servants jump with joy.& m( x8 f( V3 o, B1 ^9 j$ ~
* J. W3 S$ Y3 W" O) e ^The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up+ j$ l+ b5 `8 z7 B
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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* t' j/ ~' x% e$ FThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the: ^9 F' _' o+ H( w* R
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like f. b& u/ J5 D+ t" p7 z
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
, h' p8 |' j8 Z9 `reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
b! r. X5 I$ y! e- Vben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
' E. X' b& p% T4 s! \# F3 A4 hdisgrasful and it should go away.5 I2 y( X6 P9 ?! L* H+ d) V4 t
, i# y' T4 [) h4 |* Z5 Y1 PBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
3 @1 i) Y7 E) T5 n: V) Q4 f"z" and "w" with "v".
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* Y5 E0 w2 k# Q. PDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and7 ~7 H' j' I( ~" l
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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h5 ~* O) E5 |* }( F, q' p r) ]Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
( `' x" a& N! ~) ^( R5 Vunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
' z- b- p4 P* n2 X9 IUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
: `, k! q" H# |forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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