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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will# S$ k- b$ @% X
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was4 L) I* G( |7 R- C/ s" C) J: Z
the other possibility.8 A& g) D. j; N# f4 I
( t3 Y1 q" S" [# SAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
- j+ k& E, K0 Z! p3 Z, Jspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in- ?4 o& [0 F* T& i. ~* B: Y
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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0 l2 `9 O5 m* @; m8 }& P# QIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make3 j' V8 H/ T2 B5 C5 {6 r
the sivil servants jump with joy./ @( ~. x, s& {/ ?9 X: d+ \' r
% W8 a6 ?) _' l, e% n9 z8 d3 w% MThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up3 }+ n1 b+ `8 f1 {
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the8 D! H& Z( ], }+ h
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like' [" C k, ]' _5 z% E# d
fotograf 20% shorter.& ~' n1 V0 i; B. B$ t3 f$ j
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
* c" n! @; ^+ C7 I I8 breach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.% F: L; z* i: d: ^6 ]( L5 X( [
3 [% m) Q8 n5 d, fGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always( b. T1 ]$ C" D1 n3 T
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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) r. ~( Y* T$ }3 u5 ?7 rAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is3 [. }% ]. S! U) V! w+ \
disgrasful and it should go away.+ u" u( d' T0 q0 m. \, r" Z4 k& A4 w
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
' c# `9 M3 n* t" `"z" and "w" with "v".
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3 B9 P- j! j( n1 U* ~+ g( @! F4 ZDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
! A* H" h* x7 `after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.# \( u: Y3 O- m4 `! ~! o& S
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
( f) w, d" W1 ?5 P0 V( M7 \understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
0 y! ]5 x( x7 m5 ~( Z9 rUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze/ i5 x) f2 r' Z
forst plas.& w# h1 N) m& h4 M1 n* }# M, v8 }. l
! i. U/ j5 C2 [- p0 v. g$ S- K7 ZIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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