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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will5 a" c( K6 {" j+ W0 R2 ^- y: L5 O
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
7 f6 ~5 M7 n8 t2 j( Ithe other possibility. H# ?" C1 {4 T9 G$ F- {0 C
- d z$ R6 r1 G2 K- }( `) K8 r8 hAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
& }- b: o0 Y5 V0 ^spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in- y* ~, e! g3 V' e. O
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".& b8 _4 f0 u: u! ?" }$ ^
% }8 C5 v7 g: DIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make; u9 v5 [) q4 P4 ]+ b6 _
the sivil servants jump with joy.1 u/ R# ~8 H" x2 u9 h" J
3 |0 Y4 ]% q) kThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up' d# L3 R N* M- O7 G: I S9 [
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.) @1 R2 G+ J6 L7 E& E5 {: Z
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
5 n' r: b6 A2 btroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
9 B \) {, a0 m: gfotograf 20% shorter.$ `( n& L. L* O$ R1 S, W( s6 M8 x
7 J0 e( z/ q2 P! g2 }9 R& q' g) ^% VIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to7 ?+ Q ]8 x) k4 [% k- K
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.$ _" L( T( z2 a3 V
( V6 D+ _4 B/ Q. l7 c6 T4 m2 A9 {& DGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
' Q$ z7 l l7 U% j6 n7 j1 \ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
* B5 T$ S6 c1 f Adisgrasful and it should go away.
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$ l6 y. [3 g, m* u; C/ bBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
& D* w* Y* B N+ \; D"z" and "w" with "v".6 d7 r4 m. p0 l& ]9 P9 M
4 [7 D8 W J3 RDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and) `) e' O4 Q* _7 d; r
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl., g% m) a1 \0 e5 w9 d/ E& G" p& @
. {, m# R0 g7 |6 {Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
2 m( [ h `4 H" C) W9 yunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
% M. [' V; M/ E/ ^; ^* YUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze8 q, Y% p* U j
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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