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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will u$ r' P% N" H4 Y8 ]
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
" Y" I! ]4 x2 ~- A( E2 s2 {6 Gthe other possibility.7 t1 h+ v6 b3 `# r% y
0 L' I5 _: ?& H6 \) DAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
9 d6 x4 X/ [+ M3 o! C( u. Gspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in& Y! g( w; }$ e
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".. Y _, h5 H& N2 v
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
8 [4 w% F. A9 N& g+ q, @# [/ S. hthe sivil servants jump with joy.; T" I! z1 c3 _# }) b8 W' C
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up/ E/ c& Z1 h+ H
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.6 J9 k$ |$ w/ k6 z/ X
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( |( e7 u U3 G1 a$ }There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
9 _5 Y; U3 K A' ~# M. Ytroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
2 |5 U$ h" u: z3 b4 Wfotograf 20% shorter.8 e8 n/ K/ D9 |: }8 D" b. x! @: q
0 b+ G$ q7 _+ I3 c0 k: oIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
4 [6 x( p) h3 Wreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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) M g7 j0 G; Y! H& D; j9 pGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always1 e; d& A a& E
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is4 y* k- \% w! n9 I, o4 ~$ q5 @1 J* ^
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
2 T) A2 v4 T' \3 B"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and4 k7 @( ~4 u+ }
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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& z. @$ q r& i+ T4 R! ~. ]Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
% P0 T8 Q2 W/ K; {( ?5 Xunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.3 {5 U' a" J/ i
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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3 r; I9 |2 q/ ~8 \If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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