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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will$ b6 Q& @* p, Y8 ^; t
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was; j( k! u6 P, t
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
% E7 \" h- m7 [$ q7 y6 o* e& rspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in' I" u0 `$ ?/ i! M4 F
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".# D5 }+ U6 \. y2 c4 ?( T8 }
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make- ^/ u+ w; J ]& u
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
* `6 D. a$ R2 `1 [9 b- @+ l5 {6 E+ _konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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# D2 p, @6 k1 k' y" H' O( b* uThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the' E: [" Z3 ^ T! x
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like' e4 l* i: V) Z: e
fotograf 20% shorter.& O+ i* s: r3 y* y4 @
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to/ V) r3 Z5 Q$ o2 {9 X+ w# S
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always/ x; h7 S% M# G8 o& V
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
% ], i' G* ~8 b u3 @" rdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with/ L4 c, n$ y3 {" q$ v9 c
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
8 C9 A* |5 [8 t: [5 gafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
4 m8 g* L% Z3 g: [understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
. U3 M2 ]/ j2 r/ ~- VUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
6 F) [+ [% X! a. a: ]. {; D" lforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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