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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will3 m8 ?6 \ V) M& x8 h; [0 p4 @
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was9 _4 t$ W2 `* p9 ?. K' P# |8 M+ k7 V
the other possibility.5 B( y) z: ` T$ `) e
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English+ P7 M1 ?# ]0 {( G' Y6 k, M
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
( U+ G$ J2 y! y; Zplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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* ~' u4 N: p0 p% s" N8 AIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make- P+ b! U/ [4 n7 L/ t. v
the sivil servants jump with joy.5 q) }- h5 D! B* O, P! u
/ y$ W' s( J a' [( xThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
* S5 D6 [3 T9 q* tkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the9 @6 ?* q4 v7 h, m* D: |* L- J
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
* R( d: W- A- s9 V o* U/ E2 ofotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to# t# j; H2 _4 K4 d, |
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.! M- e; h3 Z- r8 f4 r
$ d, `- p! v6 N) {* O9 T" oGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always- i2 w; e8 b; A. @( |# M
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is' n# N+ v% j) D9 F* D
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
: G: n" E3 z* v6 S7 _) w0 t"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and( w- l2 n- K; _9 F0 G# ^
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.3 _& \1 D# `! ]5 h! T
, V- ?" H G2 |3 k* l9 T+ [0 }Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
% `4 J# R2 T/ \; ], ?2 hunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
5 ~& u. s! q9 X* D* H, aUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze" J$ \; ] u/ G, F, H7 {3 ~7 j7 H
forst plas.
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$ O- n+ n7 A1 u, G; T6 A% h) EIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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