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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will" [& U; t# t! {1 L3 \0 `. j
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
2 r$ J: L" o# x/ s" Pthe other possibility., S7 S8 I8 f: g$ z$ x
2 q, g; f& K3 e) `8 ~- ~, ?As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English0 u# {7 ?5 u6 z2 z: n$ ]' A" Z" }
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
& ~9 V5 ~$ j$ d2 @( u k tplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".) z, D5 ~$ g' s3 T9 ]6 X
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
/ n& w5 X' T" t9 J* a$ Rthe sivil servants jump with joy.) f, C9 a$ O. L4 w/ y9 S
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
' v; U5 [. V- o+ z6 W8 U3 nkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.* x0 V: b9 t7 O8 s R4 T+ b( ^2 E, C
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$ i8 \' g. }; I2 ^9 G$ RThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the- [+ |! e# M* o2 `& }* o* g7 m
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like) |- U: U/ O: [
fotograf 20% shorter.) h5 w1 [% C" u k7 A0 v* `
1 p0 \! O) U# d2 vIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to! B! X! L$ c* _; E
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.: |0 N& A: D0 s" X' G
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
" d2 s- z4 k' h9 n* L8 K3 j Dben a deterent to akurate speling.1 j0 @8 } p2 {* m- }% N3 }
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is2 {: s- Z9 @0 W$ ?
disgrasful and it should go away.
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! V0 O/ x. v& i+ LBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
) c: Q: H& ^% D2 C1 J"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and+ O( K- D# P8 b1 W& C
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.- ^; S- o( ]3 |$ D, a# y+ t# U
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu: G$ g4 t" P0 k9 a
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
9 y6 ~" R+ c7 t. J1 }' V0 z% YUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
) U) R7 c& s3 ?4 s+ @3 N0 aforst plas.7 Q7 E5 w* w2 S5 e, A" l) G1 ~4 n. h
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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