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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
( E% d/ u( b0 y* s4 sbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was- T! H2 r' O8 F4 D: |: [# {6 @4 F" J
the other possibility.1 S. o }; |9 ]3 k) N/ `
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English6 J- o; G; I' j9 `7 i+ M
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in* e% b' x& e, n! Z& T! {
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".! ^) V# p& U& q+ d
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
" [/ a5 A* Y9 L# o2 Tthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
1 R! y& @- _' E( ykonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter." {& m& e" U3 k$ B; l
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7 s; x- m3 P6 L, @! j" t* Y/ UThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the) [' |' }0 I# d) }7 P; Q \
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
2 ~3 ]# s9 e0 V2 @8 M5 z; Q# `fotograf 20% shorter.
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- w+ p, I; r3 }8 t7 }8 P, I6 bIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to% B. `$ f! i7 D
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
) H& K3 v. v, [( ~8 H2 Mben a deterent to akurate speling.0 t& A& b% b* P$ l6 \
0 q! @2 A9 x, B/ DAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is7 K. A6 g( L9 `3 ?( p* [1 Q7 P
disgrasful and it should go away.- e- t0 C# i3 j* z: O5 x
( h( _- a8 g) P _+ o! FBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with( J/ `- o- v1 p- l
"z" and "w" with "v".
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, f: b) Y) W" ]8 S2 rDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
. q6 u( [9 R8 yafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.) C' o* M* s+ q( X
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu; U; r# d3 s, U- [* ?# }/ [
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.5 E a- E3 M$ h
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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