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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will/ z% y* H* a. {+ F- I3 q# x3 O1 @3 B
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
. p" w, Q+ \& L Hthe other possibility.9 y# I% }3 E) q5 t
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English; O, D7 T2 N- J( M
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
% G0 Y) V" i0 [0 S4 Kplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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! W# y0 w, q- _; U0 [$ J: QIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make5 ^6 t+ M( F) B
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up, v" h/ l% ]) p( i
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
2 C5 n1 I3 B0 t: `" f, N$ ktroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
, m S( q* z/ a# k6 _- j2 Efotograf 20% shorter.& N! w. i/ A( _% a V0 |5 d
- D& C4 @+ |1 Q) }% a9 H7 B0 q4 ?In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
/ c; `" y2 K9 t) U) R& Areach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.- t" L- H* W1 I6 Q2 {
4 r: u" z7 w: A+ D# N- sGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always Q' a0 c2 v+ o1 R. [ }$ r* t
ben a deterent to akurate speling.* O, e. _! a2 P& p
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
9 o Y% n* |4 Fdisgrasful and it should go away.* F& C4 l! C( X3 \4 H9 W7 C0 Y
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
: J* u. {' w/ f6 l"z" and "w" with "v".
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( a8 q; o p4 W4 _During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and0 |1 L( R$ L( A6 Q
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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2 t4 Y" q3 l& G i, u o; BZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu' f8 q* W7 [, i2 E+ A4 T( X3 b
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
! I% J7 b2 W% q, J+ |/ \Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze. A& P& b* ^% r7 l8 w+ E
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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