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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
; c/ E9 D4 }- X5 \4 Y: bbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
$ ~/ M+ S$ O8 f$ J4 z3 x; k/ B5 mthe other possibility.
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* J& `( K8 z5 |. q0 NAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English$ c4 _0 d* z1 g7 C/ Q) f
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
1 f# I( P; I4 b1 h& \6 g& m6 L3 n3 n- R3 Eplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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+ `& c) ~ R0 ]8 z6 k ^In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
8 h" |! T4 S- f1 R, u5 J N |the sivil servants jump with joy./ A( U s% x# N4 N" W
2 p# n8 A, r% } E. M/ o$ QThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
9 O- c0 M% I2 T9 n0 t4 G- z; pkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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2 E$ M% w9 E9 i) V9 jThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the* u* W* l$ Y7 }
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like: F+ G) `) r1 L) L7 M E
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
) L. [, z7 [6 c4 L9 O$ ~' greach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always/ U3 `$ f6 U/ R7 q l5 P
ben a deterent to akurate speling.; W) V- h5 L; @; |# `3 N0 B
7 ?7 {; D0 h9 E+ jAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
/ I$ ]: X1 B' a5 Bdisgrasful and it should go away.
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( G" }. }5 E; ?1 f% y- T% NBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
* \. G9 Y5 K( y7 K"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and( t a5 h* K, |2 a! W; G) F4 ?
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
( Z% X; I. ~0 ^& Bunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.' H- `* x/ f, ~! O2 K6 e
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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% L, I4 x$ |: Z* GIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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