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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
5 e/ B) |; K% k, d2 ybe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was& P1 v8 Q: L# D0 i# C
the other possibility., a; u! b; V+ z6 l* L
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
0 ]% ?. a& Z- t, j2 H- Qspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
) ]% {5 R5 U2 P' i2 A% Mplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".5 H" |8 b% n0 [+ A3 ?6 `
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
9 K2 \8 O" j6 B! u# Fthe sivil servants jump with joy.0 v- S$ T" X4 {( ]; p& W3 \
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
% h7 w) r: J* b$ J) j$ s' c4 S3 Xkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the$ |3 {$ K3 `: n( E$ J* L; h
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; y ?9 c, S! p6 h* }% i) E3 Cfotograf 20% shorter.* J- u& O2 f4 ^. A( g# X
$ ?" i5 r8 o3 e& lIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to; X$ H' l3 C" r/ x( e0 ^* K. w- F
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.! L. H& v. B5 _
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
" w' W* J+ H% ^ K4 Mben a deterent to akurate speling.' ]( l8 B9 h4 S! A
t; r: e' R1 CAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
, N8 h6 U6 P. n& j( Idisgrasful and it should go away.7 F6 ]" [' L, B0 @ Y
- ~" o0 j* k5 N: t; |) W# S8 O: ^! @By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with; b8 B$ B1 f7 w: \0 u( D% z: v
"z" and "w" with "v".
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" d e0 V2 H4 Y- }- QDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
7 v: K6 D7 B0 w0 C8 gafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
! D8 }6 ^+ i t" r/ }understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
5 {0 c$ P+ B# G% x$ u4 gUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
" _8 H a1 A5 Y5 Wforst plas.
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* W( _3 R8 r, p. [, \0 g/ _6 o" }If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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