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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
0 F2 O8 c. b* w6 Xbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
* v* ~: H9 I0 }! B' Qthe other possibility.$ }$ Z+ S( z# l+ I1 q; s
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
@9 A) h1 B0 O9 l7 A7 W8 jspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
0 j5 m. k8 W7 Splan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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* F) @$ W+ `/ _+ }4 s+ {In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
+ U# H/ H% A! _) d) K) `! F; P# rthe sivil servants jump with joy. I' U+ ?2 R# W2 U" \5 \
& s- m+ u$ Z' K! ?) R7 G) }8 Y9 bThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
1 q& `* c( k3 ]6 n' T$ _konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the% m6 y& w2 n* ?% s% O, W: ~5 P
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
8 p7 S1 K' N- e; M& N" M1 `! ffotograf 20% shorter.; v7 g. _" F/ `: W0 ^) n9 }7 g
: v# v! C% c, g( P# @- ?# n+ DIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to* q& p+ k" x8 V6 v
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.4 L# I' \4 t, C- c* k2 T
% m# \7 h( U: l I% e# c5 HGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
. o# C9 O$ G3 F) N/ Q$ `ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is1 V- s: U8 E9 b' u& w
disgrasful and it should go away.( v7 c3 w7 \# `
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with y- P; Y* w+ v x6 I& W
"z" and "w" with "v". R8 w6 n5 k0 e# R* M! k, g
* T/ r- `5 T0 g0 l0 q9 uDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
2 j, O8 O% y3 E/ y% r# L7 H2 ]after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.! U- |; d6 Y9 o9 P% t4 ] C
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu2 X1 h6 r f- J% R' @% ?" n5 c" d, M
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
* D0 c4 w. I+ {3 J) NUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze$ W% n _& B% v
forst plas.* Y0 K- u/ |8 U: I& I2 O
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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