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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
4 ]' d( l6 b J: A+ A; rbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was, ^# P! S! h; X
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English. B& Z( R. {5 b% ~
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
y8 G7 E1 [, ?plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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. J. e2 r# a5 I/ t3 B/ ^In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make; q* u4 u2 K& d& a
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up" \& n8 G3 C. ]/ a$ S' @% A
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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2 @% n+ j, m% w- v1 [2 jThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the+ `: {" P4 \& p7 D. U% @% w6 I
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
$ A! k3 r' l# \9 C! {, h0 e; a1 ]0 Tfotograf 20% shorter.& u8 i3 @' P3 r& k8 d1 j
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to1 [5 z! m* ^- g
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.1 S( c& n8 m- w/ F$ ?6 s
! h$ z3 D# _8 e/ B0 dGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always$ n; M$ k! J0 s1 c& s
ben a deterent to akurate speling.' m" [ b6 W, o4 }( q
6 T% e) {9 z( ^& WAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
7 p8 U+ N0 n R6 Y! kdisgrasful and it should go away.
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' T+ B p! b6 X" jBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with0 K) @5 r* R+ n& ^4 S% G, J7 F7 p
"z" and "w" with "v".6 L6 U6 N& y N* ~% c' o
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and# r! ]0 k: N2 u( p5 c
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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4 W3 v7 W. o1 N9 F; C$ v6 f1 kZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu" x& W* Q2 B0 f
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru., m; Z% j% H( ^- E: ?; Z
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
1 R4 K/ v9 T# x9 Z$ {/ Xforst plas.
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# @ d6 R% k: J! y+ ?# j8 AIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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