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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will0 x" r% n* ~- k. g$ h- K" o8 E1 d8 I
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was5 C2 ?2 l# ?. @) R6 i3 @
the other possibility. u- A+ Z( [0 w! h. D$ X1 }
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English5 T4 V) }$ o0 y4 O5 S6 z9 K
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in/ F H7 a) k. z6 |: L
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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+ g4 z9 U3 p9 f; {% fIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make4 ?( ~: m" }9 q* E7 \" ]
the sivil servants jump with joy.; h; _5 t8 y4 V1 m5 _
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up0 R, d6 ^3 `, `! A5 h) E E
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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5 I& j0 I3 H5 C; |4 ]& xThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the! i" g& U5 z+ F5 @
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like# t3 b( S; _5 N* Y o4 u7 _4 q% k
fotograf 20% shorter.9 M8 g1 ^- r: t7 Z& b. Q( l
! S+ s' v& X1 X+ r; i( k: ] I7 s
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
( L7 [% C! ] r2 d [- B3 O1 ~9 Q/ Nreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.' Y# L! o# d2 Y. v
8 a, { f, S9 bGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always# K" c ?- v8 @0 g4 P/ ?7 M
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
7 u, I! G( w- t; r7 zdisgrasful and it should go away.
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& n" T6 s0 r8 o- {; L3 S/ ]By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
+ y. M' l, x5 D$ F6 ]" C"z" and "w" with "v".
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$ r: i g+ Y2 o# }4 aDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and% ?( y8 T- a _% `, W
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.. ]( J! r8 i# X4 y) v
( ]7 ^8 ` E% Q$ ]Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu6 z5 R& S& B: N8 k
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
" m1 B: B; N% |/ h3 GUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
* [8 r/ M6 w8 y" b" @4 \+ iforst plas.1 A( |2 y8 i, f3 c W
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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