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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will5 [, S6 R; r8 E. r5 b* D) q( g2 B2 C$ Z
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was* K5 J+ X! a% o
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English3 R U9 M/ v% u; K5 {4 K
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in& P+ y3 \& M& r
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make+ F( l" O/ [ H) \- Q
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up. C5 n: ~: W- c/ c9 `3 R
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the8 p% v% L9 ]( R. `7 v5 N
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
& K. D# A; b0 Jfotograf 20% shorter.8 q3 C) G: ^3 ]# ]( ?+ r" q
9 n7 G- q. A& M) W( F n+ uIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
! o/ l) T$ i: J0 Y! areach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always+ L0 D$ o! b# q2 o
ben a deterent to akurate speling.7 c5 N; H l3 u, | o
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is0 ` E" g& R, \9 t8 {
disgrasful and it should go away.
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8 s, |- d) X5 w2 ]By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with/ S" i5 M; C$ \- L. }6 _3 |
"z" and "w" with "v"./ G/ Y f- q6 }5 E
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
q5 I( b8 U: fafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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7 T h) F# B1 N6 T }Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu$ J, m& u1 |7 @6 a) C; y$ q
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.* j, w7 K* o6 _- c
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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