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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
/ Q5 }/ H" k( @! B9 M+ ebe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was, V9 q6 M4 q. b! l
the other possibility.
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6 y v! `6 n6 c6 h5 R! h$ C0 F9 IAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
t9 G9 A. ]- J ospelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in2 |$ r, t2 N: x2 o% R/ L, O
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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A! u. X" k9 y$ Y. b! m+ L( dIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make) j. h( n }- c2 {
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up( `: p: I" F! v- C/ o
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.6 _9 [! m3 X$ R2 r3 Y+ h
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. E* q* b5 P" pThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
R4 H" a1 s* H! xtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like4 B" j2 B" g5 l( y! D* `# Q" y
fotograf 20% shorter.
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" s/ @8 l$ \" h: G% \In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
! d$ Q3 _5 N! ]4 T. K$ g* Sreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible./ f- ?1 d1 _& \: Q& V9 j
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always' B/ H9 l, {. h
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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; U/ u4 {7 a0 V; t$ g8 KAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
- X& i+ C# F2 T7 l+ adisgrasful and it should go away.
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; U, ~& X( Q, C. f% h% H. S |By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with) `- {5 b" U: N \
"z" and "w" with "v".9 M+ m$ D5 b$ b
: {3 C" o/ j, _' ^During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
5 l4 s9 {5 P4 p" o3 z2 f$ O Tafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
2 S3 F% n: B5 y, O4 f4 F* Lunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
+ z' e, e0 A5 f* i1 d2 p! VUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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