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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
! a+ W! J& f( i, {1 cbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
7 W) ~* y& r2 `the other possibility.
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9 A5 Y+ q2 f4 e. a( p* gAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English o% v' b, }% K4 Z' Z% g
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
+ T/ }. O- f! p: l! a! Aplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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: f" K& m. L( y% \* L# n7 q: RIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make" u. C/ t7 o: K) g' i2 A
the sivil servants jump with joy.+ B' a( o! N: m# T5 _% b. n
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up X7 O7 T. ~: @2 e& w4 T
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
' M0 o$ o1 c7 ?% m8 Ltroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like2 E# e& t8 I! p! r
fotograf 20% shorter.
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. E, V5 n/ B, M% G! l8 S; h9 N0 IIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to) M& V0 {! ?4 |% x( R5 x
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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. t: c& e8 B* a# E1 T0 TGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always$ p9 d+ N# b% \1 i' Y
ben a deterent to akurate speling.6 [9 U4 t" u- p4 h3 y# F* C
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is' `+ S' y& [" U0 J
disgrasful and it should go away.
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9 G% i# g7 ~- \5 {# M" |& ~By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with" f; N5 j% }" A$ p( f# B
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
' |' e' R/ {0 z$ H& b' ?0 z. Nafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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+ X; x' w" k# F8 KZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu) N1 B4 z* [" x
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.. `/ b# q1 ?8 ~* F y% s
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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" ]5 L& ^9 B/ Q2 jIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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