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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will: `' c- e, I) u9 G
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
% M& F8 X5 G0 l4 ?the other possibility." h) O- K. g" L. u3 |! }
/ i) L/ @) A5 g8 b- `4 rAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
0 K |$ u) H, N" c; O. w" o% Yspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in5 v' w" e* }) ~0 K A9 B" f1 b
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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/ o' d. g8 C( h' ?4 q( U w' C& MIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make( ]4 ?1 ?7 k/ {8 k* m2 d! ^1 V7 T
the sivil servants jump with joy.! ~/ ^. b2 [1 K9 \0 A& G
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
' x* ?! ?1 A# Okonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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1 p4 E( k+ M/ g cThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the! u; v4 l2 I$ O
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like/ N, x& v9 `$ d. \0 P7 x# J
fotograf 20% shorter./ K7 y* C! V4 D6 ^
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
u3 y2 [5 r9 [0 h4 ^reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
6 k, Q6 e% z4 W5 J2 C* `$ R0 `ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
5 a6 j7 _/ [7 p! j( @disgrasful and it should go away.0 _5 w" _3 S, |% \
& s, p- b) R4 H& s0 t/ KBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
% ?! b } z; X7 J"z" and "w" with "v".
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4 t( F+ W2 q) Y! p- v0 X$ wDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and, r: z8 z$ n& S" w2 G
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu* B" A( H8 X& Y. A7 _ Y8 R" O' |4 `
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
6 l9 I7 U: S. b! u# V" iUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze/ p( l( Q* ]0 P9 O' ~6 _- E
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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