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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will# t9 D$ x4 Q. J: U; l
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
% s2 j2 y1 r& P/ J( X6 I% sthe other possibility.
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4 [/ | l* r9 ?* J: }9 h; F mAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English H1 w5 D& e$ u4 e( k
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in: Q& G. i9 Q' U: S/ Z4 s- W
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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0 Y5 Y- A1 l/ EIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
' d' K& E/ L& P% T5 \& }$ i5 othe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up2 s3 U1 l1 k) k. M% v: S0 B
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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o5 f, o3 ~$ b! q6 H/ f: v3 h# X3 s/ m- i! A( J0 n$ a: l
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the1 l9 O. ^0 S ~! b$ m
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
6 d. W" K* F7 tfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
/ Z1 B4 h, ?1 t& G2 Ereach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.( L! V, h5 r; @6 o* d
( i f# y& z- ]9 J7 R- y) z7 [+ \# w
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
3 u d+ N* L1 eben a deterent to akurate speling.4 Z( v/ I( m9 L7 \; g
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
' F2 B% h: h' {4 j+ E' s1 \0 Udisgrasful and it should go away.
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8 h F) J4 H: {* J; ^, E, p0 p# g" M$ BBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with( a& a+ ~/ O" C9 G5 F* B
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
g; Y$ l* E w7 Y& u6 z$ E6 Fafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
# J% _; {! F( [6 hunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 k$ x6 k8 E V$ ] L3 pUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
5 r8 }. C* K' d0 o. H- k8 K0 \forst plas.
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" K* k* M" @. i/ |6 g! v* [If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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