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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will+ }2 _" ?8 V& x3 S5 P9 ^8 M o9 @
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was; o) V# e3 V. u
the other possibility.; P3 i+ c( @1 c* @
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
! ]8 H9 ~* [$ D3 g# o4 u. Q0 Aspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in* w' E. j7 O1 Z4 N
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".2 Y4 D3 h5 P) s5 J$ {5 a; M
9 P: p# b* X5 a/ s5 c) GIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
6 {- A0 Z9 A& B4 O! g3 |the sivil servants jump with joy.
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# B0 Q* [$ E- i$ xThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up% ]) O" C3 o. O" a/ |$ @
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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3 e& ]8 p E, i% G) f9 R& ^There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the/ ^' F5 @! [+ d& n
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
# k8 |' O7 F+ \" Yfotograf 20% shorter.
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) n/ J, j5 ~8 I+ ]+ i, TIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
3 B3 l# Y, L7 n; I5 }reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.4 f: M) \5 S2 ?8 W0 ]# ^
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
. x: F% S1 u( H( _8 sben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
' c. m! X0 j5 S: A/ Ddisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
3 A3 y5 S* z8 O$ p F& Z- Q9 e"z" and "w" with "v".
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R9 e3 S% p$ O |- ^" k+ @During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and& d" Z' u+ p( C* a) V; d2 h' r" o
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.8 |9 w- G E# W8 ]4 z& y6 ]( }
% ^* s2 e; e* l5 e" N5 T! ]' gZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
9 ]% h; S* I/ X4 O1 l' Eunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
( U0 z0 H7 f) Y! \& qUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
8 H8 i' C4 u3 Q9 @forst plas.7 H3 j6 d) {, L
" |( l" z! N+ X. vIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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