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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will+ s, d3 c" i1 I& }) b
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
2 H) ?$ N) z+ Qthe other possibility.# a2 n, m# a+ A. K) Q/ l" s
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English% V: {& M3 l, @ F
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
1 _$ z- s$ g! }plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".$ L3 ~& S% t! G3 r8 }+ N
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make Y; Y" \/ r5 X5 z' z7 M& y" P
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up7 e* i1 s0 w. Z- ]: Y* C2 z) G
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.$ b0 B+ I! ]* R( R8 ^
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/ e- {- ]6 n- {7 L' B# dThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the! U6 b. o" x! _/ m- |4 h. o
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like6 {' v2 m; Z, l
fotograf 20% shorter.
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+ `8 ~0 b* D8 f$ S; uIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
2 a" o) I% m; b0 vreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.' I3 R, K$ u$ q% D# ~0 [: T
' M$ E( c& _+ y* D& `% u4 {% [Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always! C. S* U: i7 C1 Y6 W+ `
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
# Q6 I7 D' X0 _; Q8 J3 \( t8 zdisgrasful and it should go away.: Z- c; A# A: _2 v" L8 W7 d
" `2 m7 c ?, i1 s8 ?7 j' eBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
" Q8 k. n- g: \"z" and "w" with "v".
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$ C( g# u1 @. fDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and% v0 E, K: {3 A$ C
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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, b8 z2 L# D2 jZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu$ s8 S) ^7 p* A* v8 G! d- n! _
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.+ t( q: ]* Y8 p- v
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze, V- t6 X0 }, Y
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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