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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will+ j" Q+ @/ N% H2 s" c" A; ]
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
' k6 O a. Z4 w9 [4 sthe other possibility. g |, ^# @4 Y6 a8 C
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
9 t( M4 \- t1 Pspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in7 D0 `3 c& m2 _4 Q6 I) y3 a9 f( m
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".# c3 G2 L' f- ~1 n
; S' i J2 h# s1 TIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make8 ] q2 C. N, ], H/ ^) f% V
the sivil servants jump with joy.$ y/ `, E& D% O7 S9 r
; U0 v( ~; P" Y: [) i7 wThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
/ j" `/ i6 [8 S. ]konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.7 {. \/ D" \/ d3 N% k1 _* ^" N
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
- F- n7 S/ t, r$ T; mtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like3 ?" m0 E7 }" X, h) }
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
% `: e$ S, N+ Q. ]8 {reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always$ J1 V2 L+ o4 M6 W6 h4 p
ben a deterent to akurate speling.) U3 {5 a1 t- F6 G7 u
: ] N( Z1 [2 L |6 t( [4 o8 YAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is; U7 d+ x% p1 t' ?! X! W& Z
disgrasful and it should go away." R/ a# |2 F3 {+ A% b; F# F! @2 b& l4 \
7 T; x- |) ~! v% ?( N+ `By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
/ l$ s2 ~! x5 y s"z" and "w" with "v".; B4 L7 p. c! q
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
5 @; l3 |7 j/ C8 l* \after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.9 H9 G/ x4 ?% [. n9 r
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
0 Q! z# z, E1 W, m6 {' [3 m3 h7 Funderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
h3 q( D* e/ V& o* ?6 P0 i9 HUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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0 ]$ W& A% q J; J3 oIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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