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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will7 Z+ z5 i3 b. a- c3 G8 ?
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
+ E" @* l. e% [0 L- U" Qthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English- _% p3 W8 i2 v4 r: |& r
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in- v8 x- o" e5 I2 T( d
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".4 r1 M) \3 T+ }! F
- p. } ]# ]% ZIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make2 Y; Y; l. m6 v3 D8 M8 @4 Z! i" s
the sivil servants jump with joy.6 T+ M; }) c' e. y
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
; X% r8 w# z0 M0 D0 p8 Bkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.6 h n% `1 n7 `
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the. A+ m! N' L4 J$ r
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like. I2 k' Y% u7 O1 F: T1 n% F# X! F
fotograf 20% shorter.# Q* v' |2 ^3 d, m
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
2 q3 a3 v: q+ s7 U* sreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.# `, s; a: O- m( A3 p4 O
9 C/ {4 E! }/ aGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always' T: x% u2 L8 c7 \- o
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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" B. y9 e+ S& h1 j4 K7 S% ?$ tAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is) `! p2 \+ ~0 ?; H
disgrasful and it should go away.
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( w% V4 M4 X0 p- l, [8 r; L1 \By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
# W, a7 N* v, T) c"z" and "w" with "v".) i* [/ Y% ~5 E4 @" |* c
; @0 {4 |+ X/ [/ B; JDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and" h& }, b. k' O ]* I4 r) z
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
7 }! `/ r7 F1 _0 L" J+ X- b8 ]! Wunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.; i' r7 \- U, O" v. z7 {
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze+ k( E3 x( D0 x- a! Z h0 O
forst plas.
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; [3 @' b* R# h1 oIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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