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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
9 t- C8 Z1 V* }. {7 sbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was- y: O$ p( m# B; _) a5 ~
the other possibility.7 G# n ^+ k. ?5 h7 G, t
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English3 q8 }( U& B5 A8 y' n
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
2 G) H# z# { e+ c ]) ^- uplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".! [0 u; {- ` [+ I
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
& ^$ B6 r& U" H2 L8 e ?9 Qthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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$ o1 n' v: L( @- [$ F: @4 HThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
h+ H9 A" m* N1 Z# ^; J- Akonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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: [1 T9 X% R8 V1 oThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the- G5 G E% B1 N- ~! ]" W4 }1 H- U
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
0 W% m2 H" {( K0 p4 ]% x5 m5 M2 Nfotograf 20% shorter.
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) l& t$ F) R0 F0 CIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
: p- T$ R4 t6 F8 r- Hreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible./ i- T9 n5 H! p
3 @& r! K7 S/ {4 s' WGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always X9 E/ H: }% K% f4 L2 k* i
ben a deterent to akurate speling., v+ y3 m* r+ \5 x
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is$ c- o( ^9 Q; U. h' m
disgrasful and it should go away.3 ]5 j& N5 S2 e3 _7 d- O. c
7 l6 t6 p; ]- b3 R, G: l! t- ~! PBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with/ F" u6 Y. p: s
"z" and "w" with "v".
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! I7 w: {( k" l$ W0 ^9 zDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
6 t8 W2 ^0 w4 Kafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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8 M( O5 T& A9 k8 h9 P, s9 _Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu1 X" F( t6 y( w: t6 X% _
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
' K X: j/ a: y7 n3 RUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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3 {2 Z5 m# {6 P- c! i& c1 Y/ QIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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