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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will8 H; \9 l- f/ g/ ]! D: l0 [/ f
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
2 [3 X- Q. C0 v" P1 m2 Bthe other possibility. c& C# N" o O: A; v
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English/ Q4 m" `( f2 D
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in# ~) j8 s* K) h3 Q
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make0 g2 X1 Q- E- B) g: G2 D: F7 A% P! d
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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+ ` T7 l: ~& h! bThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
# N; q* s5 q7 c% J# k7 xkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the( W9 ?! [4 e0 A. B9 u* E0 Q
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like8 ^/ n2 v8 | j9 V- S: V
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
* k8 M7 N5 n1 R# p2 Breach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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8 }/ o! D. Q' v8 h6 J: WGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
* g/ r* k" z+ bben a deterent to akurate speling.6 x D$ `4 C! Q2 l4 I' j
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is% Y9 r0 j: ], p/ Y
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
1 Q/ l A8 l8 {0 Y* H+ U- ]" \, T"z" and "w" with "v".9 U8 g5 Y6 M N. X1 c# X2 J
4 W) J. q6 r, sDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
' J4 U! u8 X" [% Hafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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) M, G" u) q5 }* s4 s4 d* ^Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu9 v' ^; |$ a: O& L. U
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
. D, K& y% Z6 G7 T: `8 ?- EUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze4 h; v8 b6 U# {/ r
forst plas.
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( b% x. n2 k9 R E1 i9 kIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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