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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will9 V( @& |, @3 W+ r
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
5 ?3 r" E7 g Z! Ythe other possibility./ }% h$ K0 ?# O/ ]3 T$ l: R1 o6 g
8 ?8 `+ R! `2 bAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English- D- Z- s) o5 a" x, x
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
2 N- r6 e- ]7 t% `5 w: @, I) l3 lplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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0 H [& W6 l2 K6 \9 GIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make; Z' F6 t; @& |
the sivil servants jump with joy.8 C$ [9 z( N. w. O$ G
, s, A, d; c- t3 [2 V k
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up0 I4 v! ]% @$ v& k! x
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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4 |1 Z) f3 |, c# p: pThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
4 s( G/ j+ c" rtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
1 e5 I% T! d( d+ L* vfotograf 20% shorter.9 Q7 D. S. s# f1 ^
, @, @" V" N8 M+ v$ ]7 T0 e* c0 TIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to) p- C: i% y, Q- Y
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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4 M2 _& |) Z4 y. ZGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always9 S0 h' w. d* Y7 O
ben a deterent to akurate speling.2 B$ i8 A- ~( V, o: P
5 S/ H+ T7 g1 K" [Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
9 T- ~% X/ g9 Z9 e" j/ Ydisgrasful and it should go away.4 J' ]; {) C5 b- H* T
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
/ o. K5 `* f+ r. U% B! ?" V% M"z" and "w" with "v".! ?, x6 e$ A* Q/ y2 q" j" Q
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and% w7 G" f6 ~+ Q0 ^" s9 ?0 |% G
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.% b/ j. o" p2 Q+ f
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu- P8 p' t( i- n# }8 U& c m4 }
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
8 s% t) T) H$ C: i$ F; eUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
# A4 S+ g- I# ]6 K7 M8 ~7 Vforst plas.* o7 r& A, k% Q' X& H$ {
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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