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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
: o' H/ G6 o3 v4 ~be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
& y. X/ D( x9 P0 h0 \& V% y7 X1 nthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
6 L4 x) o6 T4 e! yspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in5 d+ Z j% a8 O1 m9 h. U# v
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
7 i+ B3 ~5 \: lthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up, S: H$ d6 D$ J' |+ n$ r
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the$ I; N4 E1 a. ?# Q3 X
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like6 v' `5 f; u$ |+ d& D) q* D" i
fotograf 20% shorter.
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0 c& z1 k1 B' z9 k, [2 v- h! xIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
; E9 p0 H- o9 ?. kreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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3 \" Q$ t# j& h$ {# u( d9 F# u# eGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
# s% p' O+ t' Q- o' Hben a deterent to akurate speling.
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$ _% w' H4 l8 F' kAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
1 o" a: A. v3 S1 S# f" d7 \/ Pdisgrasful and it should go away.! |. H( y- R( D+ d- L
8 \9 |/ [$ P$ \/ DBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with- a/ q- M+ o( f4 m+ ]
"z" and "w" with "v".
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* s j: M+ t( h& C6 ^During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
4 l8 s( f4 {& j1 u/ V! D* Kafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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& Z9 C) F! k q% r2 MZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
) B5 J; z$ X% iunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
# _( O5 P5 v( i9 p4 KUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
5 [" U, _% J# @; T0 y2 Sforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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