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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will" G r* ~4 j, @. R
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was! @. [/ O: b, ~$ ?4 d3 z
the other possibility.
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6 W& B7 K5 t! O( I7 K* B1 gAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
. } _$ @. H! {: j/ ]+ zspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
4 x0 x" R% I" R0 G# iplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
& Z6 y: ^# C$ D8 a0 G+ C: X( {the sivil servants jump with joy.
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0 ]8 v. q$ I4 H) N/ R1 C8 R: DThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up. x E2 R9 g K2 o
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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1 P. {" i% U3 H/ N& m, iThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the8 i! E( i# J! L$ J
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like. q2 q3 |6 F' T9 S S5 ^
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to3 b' X# A! M4 t# [0 G
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.- ~: R0 Y* d* @. Y* ]# Q
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
3 N0 P% C: T0 o5 m1 u( a# Yben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is" {% T N* t* r8 o5 O" D
disgrasful and it should go away.
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; c" f+ E7 T4 o7 e- G& g) ?By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with) Z7 r3 _8 P2 i- N
"z" and "w" with "v".' V3 }2 _* b( ^2 P
: g$ X8 u4 n& K) z2 \9 c0 iDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
; Z# m% s6 `. b, N" Bafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.% [: j- j: a) E4 w( H6 G' L
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
( r8 `. f- |8 _1 Bunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
* U1 M2 \8 U9 g i' GUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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8 k- m) d7 e @' W) m' L, [If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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