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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
) Z- C: u: O% O9 S, p7 h e. c. ube the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was* W( z" F7 k0 j8 v _
the other possibility.% G8 N" y5 e# ~6 g: d* Y+ z" K
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English0 J0 f" t/ @5 Z6 |
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
: @1 M: ?% S/ `7 |( ^plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make3 F. q3 e0 E, m# t) K$ Q$ i5 n
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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' H6 O* I/ E7 [ G2 Q5 J. p) q2 c/ gThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up) S- O. l R3 a8 D) a% j
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
. }+ e1 A! [8 ttroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like1 I7 Q% |* x- z7 w3 E/ i/ p+ M
fotograf 20% shorter.3 c, u+ I0 g5 w- ]5 g0 o
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to+ Q) W1 b- H8 j1 k1 W
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.* [ n+ E2 B% h. M; @3 X% T$ T
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
- s, p s& V6 K) {) j3 ~/ P$ lben a deterent to akurate speling.( z# R+ I2 p; y7 D
- Z) d& C6 u9 W. U, v rAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
5 m/ J# X2 p( T5 V( [' S% L, idisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with/ x' m0 T* {) c; t
"z" and "w" with "v"., a0 `: X$ }, Y- S9 y
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
8 k- n+ T( M6 }9 C9 G$ Y% Z1 J9 e3 oafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.* r6 ^$ `6 `; h. }
( o. i8 w* H- A4 T6 tZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
) d& N& E" T) R x3 Z# t) _understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru." C0 p3 g4 c8 S0 C/ K+ c
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
( x8 v# \9 K- [1 s' ]) a/ \, Pforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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