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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
9 q, T6 K; L6 [be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was4 L2 I, f1 X" D1 U! B* U' g8 I4 d; E
the other possibility.. E1 X5 S( {: v+ g- b
" x5 [& F7 p3 e H- Z; vAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English r7 V9 T# O2 m
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in1 C! E) }$ Y5 K" w
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".# y6 c8 ]2 j( L+ q+ p
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make! k6 ~; W# m: e6 e( \& E
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up0 q, p4 z, G8 E0 v6 j* z0 s
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.0 M, b. _8 ]1 ?" z
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G3 `& ]7 j6 a! K2 H0 [$ R5 [% [There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the' M. i0 w( ?4 ]- @) I/ O
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like9 D: W. d2 |- x ?& R
fotograf 20% shorter.
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, q4 k. T/ j, `% x+ pIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
0 c8 ^7 o' H2 E/ t1 \' rreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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9 ~7 Z4 U5 C' ]( K" n1 x; HGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
0 D9 V) O( u# Xben a deterent to akurate speling.
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+ U/ Q" g% H; [* F3 b+ ~9 X9 UAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is4 V. a; J+ V# ]1 H# E" ^' S# S
disgrasful and it should go away.' S& ]8 _3 N% ?) q# `& C
3 E3 J7 b3 W( R. k3 f! n" d' e! x* XBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with6 @; G9 J' r/ l! p; B$ ^
"z" and "w" with "v".3 @ F& A2 {- K9 d. U
9 n5 F2 R6 G) c/ S% ~During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and- N' |, \% |, b: u( \" @; X
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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- D+ U5 |+ E! g' [2 XZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu$ i% {; `+ G% ^# g. T, H0 X+ [" g
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
4 Z5 P/ v' v4 \2 i+ wUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze/ K! p0 r% \ s% z
forst plas.
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% R! [ x1 m2 t- _If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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