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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
6 E5 M9 A! Q3 Q& Lbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
3 R1 \/ B7 N, [% E0 vthe other possibility.0 g& x: f. z: Q9 N. x, a
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English8 \" f; Y+ L- N g7 W
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in; f5 }+ ? B' t1 X8 n3 L- P( R' b
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make# P$ [. c& H# z* x$ U2 q
the sivil servants jump with joy.2 Y5 v, a$ b; v" q+ u
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
5 D4 L4 F0 w3 R, @# \8 s" Qkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
g" E: b( b Ptroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; \! V+ I# j" E& `" h+ q! a1 f" N+ X; F0 qfotograf 20% shorter.2 z/ D7 y$ a4 e1 U
Z% h% I" p* ~) L" @* @In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
. t6 g, R$ k7 w, a. ~% Hreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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8 W# H6 [- M3 }# X3 C6 g2 ?, U+ UGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
' K) x/ ~; l& l* x6 D. ~7 _ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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; s% h0 D6 v; k/ o4 o9 }Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
8 p8 A- k. [# e6 Q' ^8 \: I- k3 udisgrasful and it should go away.4 V5 r2 m2 Y3 T6 I @) B) D( u* l* j
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
5 A* F* b, I8 L7 g8 \% F( Y" f0 Q"z" and "w" with "v"./ r6 E& V3 D9 m
, Y$ B' Q0 D- w( ^6 z9 rDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
4 K0 p" l! h$ e, zafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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) L. g3 L% ~, NZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu% X. |! L* J+ b/ L
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
, U+ ?$ P2 M/ J E. `' KUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
! R4 y# p7 J+ y# ]" F4 b) u! wforst plas.
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3 G/ |1 ?+ R0 ^5 [% XIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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