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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will) {1 G! |- A* R4 p
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was* _9 t6 n) M( [
the other possibility.8 t2 i0 _, H% B! ?0 }: B
; j1 Z9 s$ J( J! d2 ?As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
8 X$ l% N- e6 o2 {2 r- uspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
' Z& w5 }0 \0 {7 Fplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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8 P$ o1 d% E; B8 r1 r/ G4 q% _" r/ yIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
# S: H& M% R- J) @1 N5 o# t/ fthe sivil servants jump with joy.8 K: P5 r) {7 q% s3 F& U( e
- w% Y4 a4 E0 _ h" oThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
' e2 K5 r0 F" J7 w- Z5 }( wkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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+ C9 |' B; Z. |( BThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the# T' z0 z9 F9 y, Y2 N
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like% S6 q) y' v1 T
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to) _, J1 ` v; F, l( Q B
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible., }# L u/ x% d; d; P" E& K5 G# b" o
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always+ K% C0 @4 V1 C& w
ben a deterent to akurate speling.* ]9 K$ h. D2 p& }5 x) h' @, c. [
7 I* O) ^0 O* s$ s! RAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is* m r: ], B( T4 g' }
disgrasful and it should go away.
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1 ~; R. F: M! g6 E- V, D$ HBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
+ _5 P% V2 J4 ], ]8 _: m"z" and "w" with "v".. {. |7 C8 }- _" _: N2 r
: K. i9 e! z, s) ^6 PDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
% b) I, r+ n) O) {( @after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.0 |- x7 X. s9 d6 h1 v/ x3 h
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
( k/ \. l4 j1 ]) J1 e3 c. {+ c- g+ Yunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 x+ _! {. b6 e5 _; UUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze( M6 B# z- s% |8 W) s% _- I
forst plas.# Q5 @4 W8 J# y
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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