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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
' X5 J. R3 O0 g3 ?6 c) sbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was; v- k r$ U( w9 ], \
the other possibility.; @8 m3 _2 D0 {* z2 j J
! B5 s5 o$ Z% _4 I$ K8 jAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English, o% I. Y) G1 t% I3 |
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
( l b0 F2 ?9 A/ j/ r' e+ Bplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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2 y% Y, P; r! J. N l$ L" EIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
) C: r# i% S9 ]+ l8 A4 pthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up. d, c0 y2 h# |/ T! c2 K1 D. T4 H
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the" F+ w& T8 }, X( }
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like( A" [/ i; j: t, T C3 t" c
fotograf 20% shorter.- f* J* s" h6 e8 u. @' a
0 i7 ^! O7 h% N8 A% ]) q5 WIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
% ]$ M6 J: H5 G9 ]* S0 X' x& Freach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always6 D6 S. r6 T* a
ben a deterent to akurate speling.) J- U# P, X0 z: I2 J
9 I, u: O8 t9 Q$ I( z' A% Q$ Y' c3 yAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is% U2 a0 A& B0 a! q( ^
disgrasful and it should go away.+ F6 u9 x# M* r; p) ?
6 e) x1 S3 x) Q0 x# SBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with5 H/ z9 R3 y6 }; u
"z" and "w" with "v".) R3 j9 K# ]* f& X8 @9 B! w0 {
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
( u3 A# e9 N( }& xafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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0 i' {1 u: d- Y3 K' \" }' I! j+ CZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
7 P( f8 f; G. @5 r3 vunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
2 ~/ m7 R; f+ B/ n# a/ gUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze4 _" A$ c& \8 J. M+ n8 \' l; ^ S5 Q
forst plas.
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% l: o8 s* i. X+ fIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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