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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
$ L6 F8 M: O3 C* c' _be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
& M( [7 \' E, m$ x! ~. ^: d: m% @; Rthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
# T, y6 B j: l7 p, espelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in1 ?8 g2 U8 p' l. ~4 t
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".3 P) S+ u# S. y8 Y" @% J+ \, H3 S
, Z# t X1 R; A1 L0 i& aIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
7 a) D4 i5 a, I0 Y- ^the sivil servants jump with joy.8 e" `% t/ `# {; [3 t
2 c1 p, ]" ]) @* v6 \8 y/ E- P0 EThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
) c" g7 `1 ? T9 Y: t+ Ekonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter./ e0 j( w2 Z: f! v0 ]3 ^
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4 s5 I# D j3 @, TThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
- l( {* y% E* A5 y5 ^troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like$ \% Y7 v6 i+ D% N# D2 ~# a
fotograf 20% shorter.* w7 I5 `4 i' r3 R7 \# y2 q
! P0 E8 t& a3 RIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
" p0 H6 S* F5 | K. F i! ^reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.5 Z% r. |+ d& e
8 q( p0 v# p. W+ Y* y" b! g( dGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
0 z. r. R/ B: {7 P! Zben a deterent to akurate speling.: C, k/ B+ o; o: U! l! S
# N* M1 y# H" L: H; Q! g8 }Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is& ~+ {: G% I+ Z1 h# B7 v
disgrasful and it should go away.
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9 S! }* D4 T9 ~# ~By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with, L! `9 S6 s* R7 I8 g7 L: K
"z" and "w" with "v".
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' i! q2 s& v7 G1 [. v8 @$ ]During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
( h; u% O6 K7 v0 ?5 |after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
- c% ~ A4 q* ~$ t' \, V. y. wunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
) u3 h: N2 s. f. F* B: n) R# \% hUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze/ i6 g& k( |9 [% K
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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