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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
+ P1 d% ` G" K1 V) e8 O6 lbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
9 @5 h2 i+ Z4 C/ a" @5 n9 ithe other possibility.+ x* w& C' ]7 _* z
! `) }8 ]. @% {9 n4 Q3 V1 L, @As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English$ S: C$ _9 \. l' u
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in# ~/ ~3 Q1 |2 w# U3 \0 g
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"./ m& V$ q/ H& a! G' U/ U
$ R$ t* K6 p& W8 r! T( Z2 JIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
, o) [, y$ a% E- Ythe sivil servants jump with joy.# L$ B% |7 V8 m- p7 l
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up& p" D; t* u+ s' i
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.% J$ K/ {# w+ |' d. |
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
6 w2 M+ ~* x. V0 |2 Gtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like2 X- ]6 r/ `$ Z7 s0 y; i
fotograf 20% shorter.3 h5 o2 R2 j* u' g$ H4 I
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
% S7 K/ Y: x+ r& U4 |5 t/ Sreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always9 Q5 Q. L/ R5 Y, B: J( Z4 q
ben a deterent to akurate speling./ A$ q. u. c0 B7 g' U
; A3 N' R/ w( I& ?! W+ kAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is$ l. d% d6 v3 d
disgrasful and it should go away.
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$ R: m9 r% A0 B$ M) U% CBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with, \8 o; R; H' H) r
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
& Q, e. A8 h5 w2 Y, a' qafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu6 y2 I7 `; H; j/ j% |/ K
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.' Y1 E. _, |7 i3 [
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze6 u; @3 B# l+ j4 p# m2 F g
forst plas.( Q" L" H2 w( S
7 f( ?% Z2 G. r4 l I5 _2 kIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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