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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
. r ]7 C! H9 M/ n9 G6 Fbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was9 l' D: q) E8 q, g- f9 ^# z
the other possibility. C; c1 `" W$ T( g* f% @5 [8 b
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
- f# R& ?9 {6 c; [spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in3 `2 C* O7 q: s3 ~, W5 D
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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1 R/ \( x* s# r- oIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
i' J; V% ~4 h6 o6 b& q, [the sivil servants jump with joy.5 N* I; X1 w$ n
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up* \0 O* r4 ?$ M, w( M
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.9 z' j/ [7 B6 B- ?6 |, T$ y) H
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
" U' p: d! w* T! w5 |) ?troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
- h: m: |+ F p0 Z Bfotograf 20% shorter.
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7 h' N/ }4 ~6 v- z9 k. x! ?" MIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to2 L( e }1 j- ?
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.- G& Z6 X) @8 F% V- d# |. p7 @
8 X! ] k- P6 k4 g! k; {Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
, [2 B) K; Z2 W6 G- A. [- [7 Rben a deterent to akurate speling.# L7 P7 ~: C' I
' l3 B+ _, _$ R/ J9 LAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
6 X: \# h( u0 Adisgrasful and it should go away.
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; ]# W+ p6 @' j9 H+ c+ y; d9 z& lBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
6 c4 }" |1 [+ t" D0 J, U"z" and "w" with "v".) z5 N+ N- L4 Q/ _7 e. w" |. U3 Q( U. ^
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
, A5 _* t9 `, z0 D4 B9 v& L- Fafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl." P% ~1 s( E$ d) j
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
! r |( C5 B7 i# [' _) `understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.3 B4 a' [, M8 `3 x7 b7 f* G
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze5 k" [; h$ s4 v7 f; t$ ~
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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