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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will4 d T2 _% B9 ~3 z) a4 K
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
( w: \( k- w: V8 H) D, k( Y7 l3 i/ B$ uthe other possibility.
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# m0 D& g- H1 F' M& c" CAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English* A0 C s) s$ r, _1 O! `9 @
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
& E. w" R! M8 H( m9 jplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".8 }; x, Z$ H$ E" d. w4 D4 u2 f& S
5 C I) _% P" n0 RIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make! U7 n P& o, n' t# M( v7 b
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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1 v# J+ h9 ^) [: T& \The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up# V6 C% \9 j3 C. v+ K d8 G
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the% I4 d T& B" Q' G q" O3 \
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like* D4 P* ~- Y; E- m% K
fotograf 20% shorter.
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) r; v: V8 z0 _3 j& MIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to" f" d4 m- `. D$ w) j4 O* F
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.; e2 M4 B" M# K, w+ U% f
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
% l6 c7 l# z. G3 z" m* g7 `. U, |) ~/ eben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
/ `: D0 M0 f- ~disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with& r c5 H" d7 }6 p
"z" and "w" with "v".2 n5 G# _/ d- K; b# H( s
+ J: @9 [5 N v. q% L8 m+ GDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
6 q" H2 } P, ^) E# h1 {) qafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.: i- g' c/ F. _9 H7 t" G* u
2 n+ p! N/ z5 f. M8 W- d6 L; l/ `5 \* PZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu4 N0 B0 ?1 o& [6 S1 [
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
; t" A. G+ p6 L! F) UUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze+ f9 b, p) b' B( B/ ?6 x. m
forst plas.
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4 c+ K8 Q- k% M0 nIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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