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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
6 Z# z& f7 c& g& m- Cbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
/ s6 f$ s" Z& j5 V# Hthe other possibility.! Y. h0 Q. a& m, o8 a2 a
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
i8 X) G+ ~. M, T; ~& Sspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
' C- R! f* s1 `9 P2 V. |plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"./ U; H9 ]4 s1 B
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make1 y0 t! N5 J8 G
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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8 A8 R, u+ j! T& U4 _* BThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up4 m: k. X3 D+ L6 h
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter., V* K- I% z' i: ^; J3 S
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the" J v% b5 d7 d5 e
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
0 [: Z% ~5 b5 R- g% S. kfotograf 20% shorter.
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- ^9 ^& Q# V! y+ z! V- {4 _In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to p4 N4 C+ a3 ~5 g2 [) S! b3 S
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.6 v' I/ z, f/ f
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always! K& d F2 D" M X: {- K
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
6 R5 u/ T6 S: R9 ddisgrasful and it should go away.8 C% l, E/ s6 y" ]( B" V
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with5 v! s! `+ o9 s" P- L
"z" and "w" with "v".# ~- i' C8 b0 g4 P
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and4 F& O! y9 t) G4 r6 M" i d0 g
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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. l+ k" d! \ M' d2 fZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu' w# K( P' w$ ?' X1 k3 r o
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
! ^' X9 Q& h' B5 a% p& |Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
Q% y: s' Y6 N$ I7 L. nforst plas.
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. q+ l2 O( ~+ Q! j+ X7 Y: T/ |If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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