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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will7 N! M% d- k, }3 i9 c" Z
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
2 G; t: @8 t& \/ y6 ]; K; wthe other possibility.
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( |. g8 ~+ ~" P1 o. PAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English8 K: R G9 T/ D B- b* O) S
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
) l/ f, w9 t) Q/ `plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".3 ~! N0 u7 P: z5 @0 ~0 E
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
+ s! n+ ?+ ]) i9 othe sivil servants jump with joy.
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% u; F& l0 B: g! W% _( ?: dThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
* c8 ~7 g! m0 ^& r3 a/ g+ Skonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.9 J. E4 Z L: R9 W. R5 C7 B
: f/ A. @4 Z1 P& A) ^9 J4 _+ v9 Q+ ~ `: F
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the* }* A0 l$ v# ^# g- j
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like- T0 }, v7 h6 m/ `, Y
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to1 R( I% E) [$ Z2 h5 n" z0 J- R
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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3 R6 b& R' r) c, [Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
5 p" w& H* L, Kben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
2 p2 T9 l6 R! H: L j! ndisgrasful and it should go away.
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d& Q# c- p6 t6 M0 BBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with7 S) [% i I1 {' I2 t6 |* t
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
3 Q( u9 p; l; c- Z" R( Dafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
) m2 Z# J# T, E! a' }understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
9 J% L. [0 c, t# TUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze, @7 Q( c) \2 B; u
forst plas.
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# o/ j4 ~4 ~/ _If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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