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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will1 ]& Y, p" O- o' i2 R) d
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was) U- ^5 Z: m' z2 P/ o, D; ~
the other possibility.2 b# _& \0 r8 F3 X
* c7 s2 u6 o+ Q& v8 @# s! wAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English0 o- }- q, _8 I# ~: t1 l
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
4 I V) U; E+ M! A, oplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".! ?$ W" k2 [" }+ ~
: K8 {- ?9 a9 K9 k( X$ D) mIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make/ O* ]7 {+ q: Z1 a' q9 g: b
the sivil servants jump with joy.5 D- n) Y1 Q# t' d
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up2 |4 u3 K H, e i4 `1 u/ _: a
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.5 P* k/ H2 K2 p5 X+ e1 j
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. g# N2 L9 [& [9 p+ }' LThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
& Z, X1 o& y1 Z2 b5 T( Ytroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
" [8 G* W# d# Y" p. p p$ efotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
% V1 t! p5 j5 i7 v: p3 u4 ureach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. |0 _* t8 I1 R5 o1 {
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always6 }7 S+ U& V) b
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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9 f- }4 c& }; L! P" MAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
9 s- o( ~/ o* B- @, f5 \disgrasful and it should go away.* u/ B$ F% k! G R9 `& L7 _
3 e0 ? i) I( H8 bBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
0 _& f6 v6 _1 j( k3 {# @"z" and "w" with "v".. M# o* |& O' h3 S2 R
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
* K- g6 _5 G: i0 nafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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1 P8 U. S3 V# l. zZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
7 i% z2 v5 o( _1 }% i5 O. Z# hunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru., `% N4 w% @8 e+ Y- H3 K8 Y
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze1 N) [' l, W% a& v
forst plas.. u. s! e- p- E+ n( j$ [7 j8 n
( R! L; h# Q2 L4 U* @6 OIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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