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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
* M: W3 x/ r1 Z5 m1 L9 I0 rbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
) L# e' ^% k2 R* N2 L6 F: X sthe other possibility.+ F' j' r) ^8 l, V$ v0 U) E
@) l+ K/ D: z" R9 A6 i7 Y6 W1 aAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
\* G1 e& ]. Q4 c0 K( Z, qspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
: l+ a9 w/ {9 |plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".- e4 P7 R0 F% x4 ^ I
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make% J5 ~3 T; E! y: |
the sivil servants jump with joy.0 V2 E; @4 x# d6 e& p' [# Y
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
- }: G4 x. t* j2 h, n, Q0 Okonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.+ }0 k$ |$ C) |. x( y
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4 @$ t- m2 K. t/ n4 U* W7 }/ x) Z& xThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the3 Z' S2 o4 U5 ~1 N3 n
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like: _8 P7 u s. z4 @
fotograf 20% shorter.& L" E# ]' }5 [4 f: y
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to5 w/ i6 I( y2 ^
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible., h2 o+ i+ M" W9 C: e2 c) }
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always9 Q) O3 S9 |6 r) C6 y: w* q
ben a deterent to akurate speling.1 ^1 M3 } @; D% S9 L. B; S( J
, T( U- i+ R' U# c$ _2 pAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
: T6 J+ e( {) N- g \4 D) q$ x( W) Ydisgrasful and it should go away.. n* [" Z2 z) R/ r+ c# W6 {/ s
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with, z1 W' z& g2 E0 i4 N0 Q% b
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
1 l" q' B9 U- _; H) s( m$ K* _- f; ~after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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: g- J# m5 Y& w6 w1 b) zZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu% e( ?1 S2 S. s/ U6 T' Z9 l
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
6 A) k8 W1 C9 P6 s* ^; ~Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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5 G0 b% v! W; B+ \8 n5 f5 @If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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