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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will& g/ L! k2 f. Q
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was* C1 ~, t( O" i/ a! ?2 ^
the other possibility. N' E9 M" S" N/ E0 J, L1 i+ Y; F5 l
3 z, Y1 G2 B8 t0 \0 J$ s* uAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English$ ~5 l6 J" y/ M' l
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
' b* Z* ~; `+ Cplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".1 h$ }9 ]6 l$ I/ V
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
5 v+ A* J# v- C* I' uthe sivil servants jump with joy.9 u( K$ Y$ a; F9 b% G% r
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
- b- s& H$ G/ a2 E3 g9 Jkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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R, O3 h* E. XThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
; U1 A4 P; N2 |, ^* M# qtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like; c2 W4 [4 I- a- {' [
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
! {9 U! u- v1 i8 ^$ sreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
: Q4 R. T0 r& ?' z- E2 X2 U9 mben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is3 i3 K4 G% [: l8 C
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
- y' l; G$ i. X; e( x3 V8 T"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
& P- @$ B1 e# J3 X) w4 ?! `# ?after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.1 i5 P5 j2 `9 R* T2 A& {
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu" W/ q$ `0 r1 Y
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
- m5 W/ r/ B- iUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
$ ~2 |' h) t, [% a0 O- dforst plas.
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/ q- \% P$ O3 G* F, t4 C+ w% xIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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