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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
' C! Q9 Y6 E# ?! v4 H1 Zbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
8 l( y+ c" s% cthe other possibility.6 f+ a( B' W# y9 Y. v0 y
# }- g" e2 J8 H9 K u7 ]! ], NAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
/ e/ @8 j3 M* V5 [spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
- U+ L! E8 |% O( f- r& `& ~: zplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish". u8 p# G U! }/ I, B1 a Q
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make0 j. k; G$ E+ k: W( R, n5 K1 G0 g
the sivil servants jump with joy.$ Y, r- |9 M! {$ r5 \
9 v) k6 D! R% YThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up& y, Q7 F; ` m8 h6 q. O
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.( l: F* y# X. O0 K) p1 w
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the- D( ^5 x' w: t; K4 o
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
w) x& h d" S9 n+ @fotograf 20% shorter.* s/ L ~1 u$ c1 H
$ g. e/ M( B( k) H3 `5 V" C$ [# FIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to6 H7 n4 k" `2 \" C, y0 D) y
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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# C. L0 v/ i. p) X( R i' z! zGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
. y/ D' M* N0 ]% j5 S( b% [ben a deterent to akurate speling.; @; ?+ Y& C% E( I( `! G% u
5 m! `- \1 |6 S7 ^: }5 BAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
* z% g2 [6 T0 P9 Mdisgrasful and it should go away.
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s. j0 o" N# U, a, O. Y1 ^By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
Q9 I4 o) q# C2 `: |"z" and "w" with "v".: @3 c9 [: a: T' J
8 z$ o9 Y+ u& ?; aDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and& E8 I) Z3 m8 N
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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# R; B1 Q1 w( H& G7 _Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
0 w& A3 I# v& ?" }7 [understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.% A$ z1 K7 T. r1 c, w. d' y5 w
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
1 i. l$ h9 c9 R Q* aforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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