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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will1 f+ D8 U0 P- z
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was9 `8 E9 e7 w8 r% M- A; C
the other possibility.7 `8 h+ h; H7 |6 W) ^" f: e
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English g- R$ j5 J! U
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
/ r/ W% W) n0 \& e( i- X& ^, jplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make3 ~8 x: e; y, t6 w, t% Z3 Z4 ]
the sivil servants jump with joy." I! S+ l: G( A% k$ Z& T" m
. J. A" ?' O+ Y; T* U. ~+ |( k; w8 MThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up( m* P7 [/ h" r) g" {. G
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.8 T: w& O* e1 c5 U8 t- {- @1 a0 \
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' w7 }0 [4 I1 }5 i% i: |# q1 l( q' ~There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the5 x" H3 o0 d) e" ~0 r% R7 q
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like3 ^+ Y/ l9 R; J$ ]0 {7 Z
fotograf 20% shorter.$ ], e# ?9 ~! J& F
4 T- Y0 K# R$ U: a! p( `) w1 MIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
0 _# b3 s+ ~" X0 Z1 H- Dreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always! i4 b& L. P+ b5 g
ben a deterent to akurate speling.) h4 v7 i5 V: n/ V# v
$ J% ?# Y( c% Z- f, NAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is- K1 d) ~: q- U, @# M
disgrasful and it should go away.; v( \" h. T) }4 F' o
7 f- w* t$ Z P( D/ HBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
! J9 z+ d3 n% w- w Q; x: u+ I"z" and "w" with "v".
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1 U4 t2 D: |3 q8 q9 ^! n& P+ s4 {# QDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and2 \1 J3 {3 ?& H
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.( L$ q/ `, Z/ J
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu% @: o5 Z% I U: d
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru./ D9 w% j$ H+ {+ O; o
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze/ c9 j6 a2 `. F7 o
forst plas.8 i5 ~- \4 u2 W3 f; _* E
* e2 D' y& N, T+ n/ jIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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