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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will) p! x$ F5 H3 Y( p
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
5 m( m9 y8 m1 Y2 O6 R% i vthe other possibility.) q' G. v% ~/ ?& V B
b1 T; L' y, k, C+ ]( F* hAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English+ ^; u( D5 v' v9 J
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in/ y+ n4 f% H3 R" `
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".5 i) E# |4 P$ f; b0 W8 r/ @
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make; t( O; @7 i2 M2 N
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
' H* k& @5 D) y3 w; s8 Vkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.( T' C8 w4 h! Q7 u1 O S" }
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the7 \0 i1 t* `( L, y" ?! H. W
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
4 \$ V( j5 t$ R+ o1 W1 sfotograf 20% shorter.
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3 x x) \+ X% x$ J* H6 PIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to1 f! ?4 q3 K% n% G
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.* m. }, ]" q/ g' [3 i
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always+ q" O+ U* H9 K$ K& O
ben a deterent to akurate speling.4 U& k4 O4 S3 q6 D
& P, s( M- o2 C: v- Y1 L9 jAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is+ r8 i, w) b* G5 f2 M
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
) N7 W; u+ E+ l8 J; u+ H"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
$ y; ]5 ]7 }# x/ |after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu0 M- d7 ^/ Y: N
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.) I7 T/ ?* t1 L; y
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze/ E& f; j1 t6 p) x- Y. v: E, V
forst plas.
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$ y1 k% ^, [. u! o VIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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