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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will' \$ y/ G- ~# B5 C! I, G- W
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
9 ~3 X! K" g9 J& d, W' rthe other possibility.$ I' v# U% v2 g1 G1 g8 u
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
5 Z0 c/ C7 Z& X; ]$ {spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in1 o6 O. O2 \5 q) O) m4 w
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".9 l9 k3 a/ N! t- @: f$ p
8 n. {/ s$ ]" g6 `In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
& m2 s" `& k+ ?the sivil servants jump with joy.
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7 W5 ~$ {" s0 SThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
$ g: B$ t' u& V- Y# dkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the8 A0 e5 z- V* H0 b9 i% Q
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like8 Q4 `# K" Z/ d
fotograf 20% shorter.& ?$ k! P9 w j; t0 g5 q7 t8 j% z
! h! ~* Y2 q1 l/ n) h8 D$ lIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to" k# ]2 s, o5 o# U+ T4 `5 g1 v) ^
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.! @9 N+ I p7 {( G
0 Z$ E! T; n+ C; D9 F& sGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
6 Z7 l8 o& [& Tben a deterent to akurate speling.
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- @/ c: g9 H: F0 u6 DAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
" P5 F2 \9 B9 ldisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
! f$ [; J1 o- d: e5 d2 X"z" and "w" with "v".0 I$ R) y. k! D8 ^9 o1 `' s$ U C$ }/ @
1 a' x1 a. Z" A! S. r$ Q- ~6 h: FDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
6 @0 w% g$ w1 R' uafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.) @# N6 K0 W" f6 N/ i
% X4 g5 D: Z; N* h9 M: K2 }4 gZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
( Z( S2 j. ^: bunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
0 l( Z$ n! D( S* k) Q8 _, aUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
% B" Y: n) V) G4 b2 N2 v* rforst plas.
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0 f9 z! p) O$ N$ b1 D$ BIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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