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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will. z# V# Q8 x; P7 W7 B) U) c
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
" s7 S x/ m: j( Y* dthe other possibility.5 n1 f- i! l; Q
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English% ]+ O8 N. P3 {. h2 {* d) {
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in0 E& U5 U% j6 o4 ^; w7 v c
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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. ] o" q1 |* \2 A& j- g/ R7 |In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make' i ~6 L2 Z! r: K/ ]
the sivil servants jump with joy.3 ^8 h0 z& X2 K7 r
; a6 J* ^8 y: DThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up$ a, p7 f. Q0 Z, g. [" \9 z) a
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.; G" O* \# S; U- o5 p
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: h% L5 j+ |1 ~- cThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
; M( ~ t" p# w3 L- w" q/ ctroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
i2 l+ S2 A( K- bfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to6 i ~! S6 n: I
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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. z+ T9 B; ^6 B$ y, {' [# AGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
: [1 y3 [& a4 k9 V6 j% j* v5 Iben a deterent to akurate speling.7 f# c+ i7 \% b6 l. C2 l6 x
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
1 v' C- N) f6 g; |8 s$ _" Ddisgrasful and it should go away.
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# E8 |& A3 Z. E8 k; K* m7 R0 b7 XBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with' L) [. w+ m- }# t
"z" and "w" with "v".3 i$ r- }1 y* F) j) e
* `0 n7 s" Y# t" w. A4 Q5 aDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
. I* w! N& x# U; ?; Y' X Oafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.* o# a: G2 s6 C- V$ U
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
0 Y* x" U9 ~" l0 Ounderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
5 y+ t: q+ p+ H% g+ y pUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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( R9 M- C. P. S: R% Q0 _2 c3 sIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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