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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will7 J" s# H- g8 A% {% I' J/ c
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
7 G7 \# o$ X- x H% nthe other possibility.
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' U1 R, `# t4 F- O, c4 r7 x8 ^As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English( t* c. W% o4 S+ J4 R
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
/ `4 p# n1 E& E; W2 d; iplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".( A1 N% ^3 x7 X8 N( E, V9 g6 h# S" ^
/ [: n% y% W& k7 pIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
+ E* W% O8 d6 Bthe sivil servants jump with joy.* u' i' K6 k0 I; U
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
" G: A' r! l' u) a5 qkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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! m. y: S6 g" G3 `# _There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
. d2 _$ V. Q& Q' Xtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
% }4 y0 j# a# Q! Vfotograf 20% shorter.
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) P6 O, h& m- Y1 E2 @In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to6 f: W$ E' {+ {3 q# z
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.: H. k# e3 T) S7 Y
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
0 {: S: `) X6 \. I4 F1 J( S8 J$ Pben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
) T+ J+ E: w+ i# Z+ G) Vdisgrasful and it should go away.
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- j- `- @0 d# o c8 KBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with/ E" l1 c6 O4 F; a6 \
"z" and "w" with "v".7 I4 c: N0 S' a: Y" n7 @
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
1 G4 i+ i# B4 r. Z# n. f- hafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl." U! o$ z, {! G6 [! F' A' r s
" r$ @( O; S C! A0 pZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
$ U& J5 h2 b7 w, wunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
: A. n1 m0 L! H7 [+ {Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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1 J7 @% q( C' s" U5 v. D' j; LIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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