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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
4 i$ d& Y( E3 q! a5 Q4 zbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
- M2 y/ L$ K0 f# ?the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English7 j8 Y8 f( G; ^" P
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
1 Q0 Z9 A' P6 F1 w7 tplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".( F7 ^; r2 u6 g1 ?
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make# E% m- L6 d+ V3 v
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up* B5 r' ?6 v3 P" D3 r/ n
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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4 M9 e# i; @7 c4 S, k* mThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
' T) W! b, P) T' J w+ Z2 \5 stroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like0 C. k6 {$ b' M9 C2 P f9 P. K* C
fotograf 20% shorter.. m; g' }+ c$ j2 Q8 I, {, d
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
3 }- f! Z3 M$ J; Hreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always& K3 G( u& U0 B7 ^, _. {: L, d
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is# j$ o/ ]0 O( o( H' c8 W- O
disgrasful and it should go away. Q6 R' x! {/ b) \; T/ \5 c1 H
; T* I; q3 Z8 r+ k5 xBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
/ s9 b; _7 f5 }; [' D: A! \"z" and "w" with "v".; o8 V% r$ _3 f/ L! j
6 r" Q% d+ U/ N0 X; ^/ ODuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
. S. O7 @* ?* i: safter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.4 Z9 O% V B, ]1 | W
' s: s& W" I6 [% k1 s. d" @9 m, J/ vZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
3 f1 u( Y' ^; I2 E$ O [understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
* @. s1 Z+ B5 E' c$ e% q5 i |9 Q/ M% SUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze" _* O# Z( S2 d
forst plas.
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2 B: s, d0 [- j+ i' v) \; c4 M9 M- TIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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