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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
* M8 Y: T/ `9 `" ~. V$ [" ? d% Zbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
7 A$ t6 H; A& A, t" l6 Vthe other possibility.
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3 @% m1 C4 i! I4 j" D3 e/ PAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
& p3 _0 I0 C6 H0 I9 x$ l! vspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in7 J, u& i9 J* N3 V5 a6 w6 N
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
: O- d) b6 W ~& vthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
* F- g1 ]* Z3 ~5 ]konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
! w/ O6 k: \; D% H) b/ U4 Xtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like& j+ o- Q4 o& x8 S5 M+ Y
fotograf 20% shorter.
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, r( w6 W+ h/ g" oIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
- r( p: g0 B% `, u% l7 i3 Q/ Hreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always( X% M( _. u1 T
ben a deterent to akurate speling.* h" m% e8 |' O% F: x
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
$ h i7 v8 N% b9 N( L' k9 {/ i( pdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with* {. f( q. k! t- T1 a- L& Z" U0 _, |
"z" and "w" with "v".3 Q: o+ c2 }% `) {& m
0 i' [1 C' ^/ J- ?During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and( j" [5 ] c, c) Y; a/ O* _, k
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.' r- Q- P E; [0 G( e$ k# z
9 O2 {1 k0 M0 N+ s/ pZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu+ e5 H' m m1 x* m/ u6 M( \
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
& ^. T1 }: v% r9 R" z: D# TUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze" d- T! n5 f& N8 j/ P: `
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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