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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
) |; k! k) n! P7 xbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was# [, X1 \, R$ ^! Q
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
8 i4 H' l: q+ L; l ^) Q) E" Qspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
, D8 H* b$ ^1 b1 J0 ^) ?plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".# Y- a2 j. A) U
, i1 e5 s$ b0 x' F$ L& Y; ?9 HIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
. x- a! w5 y" L2 c Y. S# A& ^the sivil servants jump with joy.. ]1 T$ i* Z0 T+ N- h% W
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up; ]6 \7 j2 W( A; p6 X* I. f
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.) k j, m6 L* x5 Z
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the& {# d' Y6 L8 \+ ? ~: t$ y$ y @/ D
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
! o& M+ q4 N% W' L3 ^/ efotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
) ~7 b; U& P5 j, C H4 E: D Preach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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2 _3 N' o, O, Q. OGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always% R2 @9 S+ n" N
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
3 z( X! n8 i/ Hdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
# e- l+ L" p5 P"z" and "w" with "v".* n# O5 @4 P4 g5 z. A6 h S( o
^/ T& g- S7 P) UDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
: M9 U( p! Y4 |6 y: | h) T$ I% zafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu5 m# h. a1 l7 _* }, \
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
8 L9 F6 B5 e2 Y& X j7 YUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
u9 k1 W* v8 t, A; Iforst plas.
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1 L' L( q5 S8 t/ E9 oIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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