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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
2 g; e3 N' I$ D7 Ebe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was H( n: I1 N8 p# O/ A# A% ^6 q
the other possibility.# p8 O- g4 f5 O4 h
7 Q4 @, ?/ {( s) C4 X6 o0 _As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English: a" H% y/ V, h+ _
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in2 j& J* B3 j% d( e* w. f
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"., W# K+ @' F: |* [; k' y
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make) c/ y9 ~/ G- ^5 G+ A- x* K8 j
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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# _0 Z9 T# t E i3 W/ mThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
0 N+ t* o: Q* }& Vkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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z; z4 ]7 z) u$ h; [There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
) a* A1 A3 D6 P' G# l8 B$ Q, \troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like) m1 L! R6 @& O
fotograf 20% shorter.
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2 T1 m+ i$ {5 n: u* d/ ?In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
4 m* C* P; y+ T; _reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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. }5 g* C5 ?9 k$ o4 yGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
0 l) f( L+ W* }ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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- ], _ S( U9 L0 V1 p- ^Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is3 m8 }; s% c8 M" ~) T1 {+ p/ h
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
8 E7 `" F0 X7 Y# z* m1 g"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and0 L4 Q# S$ r/ y0 ~
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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7 I. H R1 x4 s8 ~4 F1 bZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
3 d- t% @, H) q% a; O3 punderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
- \4 V, N; v" c+ ^Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze% M# v) Z: ]( x1 K8 G: u
forst plas.! ]. w' G& s/ }6 B
* g; _) Z9 }0 f0 M0 @ {If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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