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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
# U! |8 {' q& {1 n$ `; Ybe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
* d) w3 [+ M" K3 a2 N9 mthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
3 }& |5 u% N! k0 v; Lspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in& G: I& V- ]2 _# G j3 _/ ]
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make- v6 v0 e; x$ t* c1 w7 D
the sivil servants jump with joy.% V+ V; F$ J h
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up' R* i+ R- p( i6 L
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the3 J% `& w/ n' [4 ?9 m9 P( j
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like) e( A. N- n3 w6 h5 }! j
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to" M: k6 F6 ~: y
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.. Y/ c C" M0 G1 F9 Z
, |( F7 u0 C* o, [) z i- n( Z+ yGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always0 U$ n9 N5 I6 q, g
ben a deterent to akurate speling. ^% [# ^; g, G0 w4 E# [
9 A! ?+ f2 h+ v" D& P0 t9 }Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
6 ~2 q R5 {- U* j% q7 |7 c+ cdisgrasful and it should go away.- k W D7 _5 X; q
. \/ b$ c& ^: x& q5 K( w$ XBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
0 w$ \% \, N+ i; h ^"z" and "w" with "v".$ q5 G( r! ~; {8 B' ?
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and0 L5 ^* n; X' R6 o9 W) h% ~+ A
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.6 l$ V( V& @: d4 S6 ?
+ A. C( \0 W/ Y9 i5 s1 MZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu, E- c% h+ L$ ]3 C% z3 F8 E
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 r9 P3 h5 G: O( H1 OUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
* X& U5 `1 k) \$ K1 k; o4 Vforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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