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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
" c1 V( n9 ]! R2 Wbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
$ y8 M$ ~ ^2 T; @the other possibility.% ^; Y! o0 f! `/ \
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English' \$ ?' M) V, ~" |& P8 A# S( N* e
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in9 j# P; a1 {$ U' R E
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".3 l4 @7 k0 A0 [, w) l# g* N% s) Y
! ]% Y) k4 k: w$ j( J* yIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
; B+ n9 J, c- \. e6 G6 `" v0 y1 bthe sivil servants jump with joy.- [% Q: Z3 n6 o0 Q: z
3 J1 y9 U, u* C* S# U. tThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
0 B+ r2 d3 T% G5 x6 \konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.! c" b; n% i( [ b2 |3 h# |! b
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" P+ M" C8 u. a: h# L uThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
% |. c, o* T4 A$ b, [& j6 ltroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like+ ^/ M# D- Y- J
fotograf 20% shorter.
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+ B5 S& u5 W: N* JIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
! M7 f" ~, r& u8 z4 Areach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.. K* x; @: A! |/ H$ o
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
! w9 e% B5 `# e6 @( M$ m) Qben a deterent to akurate speling.! a# w0 T" ]! P/ w; @4 m$ K
" `5 e; L/ I( e% r; n- VAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
) n% P: z8 P5 kdisgrasful and it should go away.8 H6 s8 H9 U( K$ O7 o; p
* @3 V! e' b3 ?By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with* r) X" f" R( v: ]: q2 J4 y j
"z" and "w" with "v".; m* G! Z( k# h4 E6 L9 x
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
6 g. {' `" {1 |; jafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. E/ m4 K6 d, w* x ]! ]. K+ r, Q
4 `1 z: Z4 K# d4 c- tZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu# ~* t7 n1 i/ ~9 T4 A' K8 h
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.: h8 S# \8 N) m, v# B6 {# P
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze3 z/ @8 a0 p% v0 G1 T4 W- z, I
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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