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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
' j) r s/ J- X. z/ l$ ]0 J) Nbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was( ]+ U6 p% V% {$ q1 f
the other possibility.( ]2 \8 t$ v9 N$ W# ]
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
0 M4 G& O9 Y+ g: H0 z( M. u) Dspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in8 A: P+ A, N) O |( z8 E, g1 E
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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! b: b' A; d: ~) q4 X2 j/ tIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
{5 C" Z2 ^; Y+ b0 g+ Sthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
. ?0 r0 R/ V8 E2 w: E/ U0 qkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.2 c) U% D" A$ A, V9 h' m9 ] w1 i
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the1 W' x5 r( f c1 w; }1 s# C9 y
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like* ^0 D. c4 W9 E: N4 S! D: i7 ~$ g
fotograf 20% shorter.6 C" G: d. S. _/ k. n
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
3 r& V& K/ Q! areach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
+ H, ~, s- n8 N w! i: n1 Uben a deterent to akurate speling.( G: P& K8 T/ [
$ X& _( E; A- o, `; @, K* JAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is( T1 V7 t; n/ @ U, b( E+ s
disgrasful and it should go away.
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6 f: {2 F8 p, xBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with6 Z1 ^' U1 x1 s$ q) H& `
"z" and "w" with "v".6 c$ V: F; U% n* G/ ?$ T5 S+ d
4 \, Q( I( u8 P! Y& RDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and1 t1 T2 Z! j' X) C# n; \/ D
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu2 H$ e! W/ Q+ x; ^2 o' S% W1 k6 t
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.* A4 M# X Q9 p) d: }
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
2 S) K$ X* \* M) Lforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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