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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
9 I' K. E7 N" m' \9 f6 \be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
; Z% ?/ I2 v( n: ythe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
# o" J& ]& ^. r+ n4 wspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
3 a7 P/ Q% x; Q5 E2 U* Q" Q4 Pplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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* W- M8 v: w% g1 ~& k0 G1 T0 @# UIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make3 f& X. Q% ^0 j( q! r p; a* `
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
) y; t# L* {* r& }' vkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.+ X8 r9 X4 T& U) B- }0 ~) a0 `
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the' v! K2 k% ~1 C' N" ?! E& O
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
% z4 m" ~# x6 `8 { D7 e& B) t8 Wfotograf 20% shorter.: M+ k9 ~1 d0 N6 t
& L" G( u. O7 v0 ?: x+ \* }0 F% s0 f9 `2 ~$ lIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to* r/ x. f. K5 ^- w3 s, J
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always O6 d: D5 t, I! c; S, z
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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- D+ H& ]% o# ~6 I+ V6 C1 }. bAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
8 r0 g8 e. U# E. d' G* ]- d, Ddisgrasful and it should go away.
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+ A* ~0 O0 { v+ m' m7 `By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with$ L* U' N. E. @' ^3 U
"z" and "w" with "v".7 O. ?2 X' E5 h+ b( J) I2 T6 h
. O* J7 U5 F4 @) PDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and6 H. Y0 m! `5 J8 Z
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.0 |' G, o( k2 s8 `
0 D3 O- h J! b9 EZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
% m+ B- ]; }5 O$ P% d. }4 kunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
/ X1 v; s0 }5 K' o) Z& MUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze- g6 _. @% G9 b2 O D9 y) |
forst plas.
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; z" a) g$ t' l: M5 F+ r0 D; ~If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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