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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will/ H1 W% E, O; s, [! X+ V) o% y% d
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was; m) s/ R1 Q6 v
the other possibility.
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) H2 \9 r% H Y% M# V7 jAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
' k* E# J/ T: N. w0 Aspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
& ^0 [2 W2 _$ b# Zplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".9 V/ ~2 d, X' F" a' N3 G
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make2 ~3 G' M B A/ ^
the sivil servants jump with joy.* [! L# F) Q! o* p
* K9 o0 W5 V. {* tThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up+ ` m7 H, K( r0 T) h7 r% F
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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" M% t- _ }; N$ a$ PThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the! o* g8 Y {0 N, e1 S
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like: B/ d+ W; @. ^4 i1 ^" d _' m
fotograf 20% shorter.
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) x- c1 E% i/ u. _5 O, N4 `In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to+ `% y# ]0 V- j* p8 ^
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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2 g0 y; k. k3 v+ c* SGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always" O0 ]. r. g! K
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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E" I" Q& F( d# W3 `Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
& W) O3 v- l+ ydisgrasful and it should go away. A& a d6 u5 P7 g- `
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with' r2 O* {8 r% e# t
"z" and "w" with "v".) g0 ?; L+ S0 l. C% L
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and$ P$ Z0 T9 T \4 h1 I0 n
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.! m: }% B# y H5 N1 k- d4 s
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
: L% @' e# Y$ l8 `& v. L. T% w" S& _understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
) W# m1 G) Q+ p# CUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze& K2 c2 k! Z5 e5 X7 V7 g
forst plas.3 K& ?& a" B, c1 e% |
) ?; i! o4 C. ]$ ?/ _. aIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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