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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will; n/ v; X u0 J/ N# i
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
4 G6 s% a3 @4 n& z3 l( x0 Vthe other possibility.! s% k2 L& {6 _5 R6 |
6 u! h6 c2 @/ G# l. T5 H& jAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English7 Q: c8 m4 G/ R2 m6 @7 |
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
+ }) o8 F0 _) g/ ^" Z; d6 dplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".+ i: f' a, G" G& P) \' S$ p5 T
1 g2 ], ?+ i6 mIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
% D! m( k- l9 ?( W% J. bthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up4 q& ^7 h$ X: }$ X+ J/ M* E& S$ q
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.1 {0 ?( G' h# H& B
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- P7 Q2 O3 D4 F4 A9 X8 yThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
' {: u# A: t, G+ d, etroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
$ w+ u% \' O0 x, n M) Ofotograf 20% shorter.2 T- ^# r% ]$ e$ S4 b3 \
+ ?' Q B" _$ Z& k5 ^In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
8 N5 G) p- A9 t7 Z- P+ T8 c8 Xreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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& e! l& [/ a* R1 E1 C4 Q0 y# VGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always) @) P( X. X6 T, f' F6 c$ i
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
- j8 P- }: r4 ^6 Q, @disgrasful and it should go away.& L% C9 m2 B" R* u) m7 D3 ]
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
! S8 t S* |" {' S4 X) f# Y" f"z" and "w" with "v".: Y9 `+ R! M4 O# w0 z2 |
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
1 ^: q& N: E1 O, [" Gafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.& Q0 p& L D) T/ w
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
& C* B2 F9 p! g- o$ S7 ^" Cunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
! l1 |0 [* r( y k* ^8 cUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze0 z* e1 E G! `& w! Q
forst plas.
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% t8 n. n% F1 T) q6 [If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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