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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
; ~2 r7 t! c; F" gbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was9 {6 p9 X! _2 f" g7 W$ W2 A R, p* A
the other possibility.2 c: b' o& w8 S5 [2 c5 K
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
# a2 h5 a6 ^' G$ y/ gspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in' X- F* p! C0 N
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make* d; j; d9 L. p- k2 Y
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
! b0 g5 o, Z/ [/ l! Okonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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2 c3 [+ i! u2 t0 \7 D1 Z, vThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the! F( h0 n0 D; e R
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
+ [9 h9 B, Z2 S: vfotograf 20% shorter.. j" E5 V4 [$ z) f2 e1 i! z# x2 y7 a# D
% @7 a9 B- m7 z7 Y* }0 X% wIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
# S6 s1 J' P" P% h! P, creach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
0 F* P9 m& v7 G) l8 T3 [, X7 bben a deterent to akurate speling.- b) g' V0 y( Q( L% k
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
3 B% f b: T: G( V0 gdisgrasful and it should go away.
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5 I, p" e! @. O( XBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
# w) ?6 X. z2 j" C7 }% e8 Q, W1 B"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and" G! ?. ?6 G1 ^4 x, p' [
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.% ?* _* l0 n# [" E' f8 J* e2 j
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu @4 W8 x* L# x# f t4 P7 T
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
/ ]$ M; _ j1 YUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze! L% C1 `2 g1 T' z) N) k
forst plas.6 U% G) o! P; X7 C. w
) E7 Y9 ^% p7 N6 r) e8 vIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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