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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
, j) |& ?8 X0 I. |be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
! x; Q9 [' f) e7 \" Cthe other possibility., n$ N- f* z7 `/ i0 q" M: m7 f, C, H
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
3 b4 K) b' S3 t: uspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in- w, c1 \) ?: A N" e2 H
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"." j8 p, j6 n7 B" X
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
: j4 v( g" d9 ]- U; Zthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
- ?1 m0 F$ k/ n3 hkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.3 X6 S, a# J* @' r I6 h# U4 V
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: F" r4 s N, g1 \4 [8 bThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the$ W& i6 n0 c7 ]8 @# k! O% _6 [9 O v
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like+ v' V8 W- y* F) ?8 S
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to0 l1 J4 G7 Z$ M; ~1 S% d( e+ ]
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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( m2 l8 i5 p1 T7 Z. ~1 h1 tGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
' i8 ^0 V0 G4 r* ]ben a deterent to akurate speling.5 M3 _2 a; j* s+ T
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
- n; q+ m5 o5 B* A$ s: m2 I2 tdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with2 l0 _% W: G# R) P5 e
"z" and "w" with "v"., W% R3 u. n# R5 E9 ?' l
8 A9 Z7 J3 k- S' U- j( Q+ X9 ^During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and! @7 X" a8 Y& }; }: E3 F* H
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.) ^; A6 Z7 i% l4 k# M" r/ H: {6 a3 B7 x
O) s) Q4 W: H5 [; m, T: QZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
# W8 C* N9 g5 v' Munderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
" a( E! C" W2 F; }- lUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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& T$ [# i0 e9 o4 L/ q$ xIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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