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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
! o3 R9 ]' C0 k+ d4 y5 _be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
3 X) Y% i8 X L! h f: mthe other possibility.
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8 a% R4 w$ c' C$ |. F! rAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English1 f" z! G+ M" Q9 I7 L' I7 r
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
2 }. Q7 _# t# P) [. m; nplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".) ?3 A) \$ l% K/ r2 G$ v1 t
+ F' C1 e, O6 { f; m. l8 [In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make0 ?" G+ N$ y3 z2 }) s3 U# |
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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+ ?+ C( b4 D6 @8 k p' MThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
& h- {. S1 p+ p6 A% `konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.0 W+ h# c8 S3 B+ Z
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
- o( x' e0 \- e% Z5 f, h# dtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like4 t$ R ^# R4 O0 v) Y
fotograf 20% shorter.! h" b U$ U7 i) {4 D" b1 z) B
2 @2 | t9 e6 y; o) Z! g) FIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to3 y* ]# |7 R {1 e/ i/ S
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.3 L2 {' k5 e5 L6 \7 ?2 k
6 C$ J. _5 w' B# _% lGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always: B6 W0 h% Q1 I3 L4 u; e- O3 r
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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- H% }# f: q1 G8 _ ?% \' F% kAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
" R6 c5 J7 L! C" Wdisgrasful and it should go away.; j& f, }7 ]$ j+ Y7 T; d
% W2 h5 t+ y, [# w0 l: E4 P/ nBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
6 h1 n# N1 U* j6 ]: x) H+ k"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
& P: ~' O, G0 `+ Zafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl., C9 I& i; Z# g" g
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
" i! a6 K0 w) P; o" S% G I; X: M, }understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.9 K* |0 A# F1 g: i" z6 v
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze+ T6 g: t& x5 l n3 }+ |; s9 X
forst plas.
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! O c1 n* b1 j! cIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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