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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will0 ]4 z+ w% r2 s' Q
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
% l$ l$ `# \( f5 t( K& P# fthe other possibility.2 }7 V, b0 M2 z, q6 c* m
* N' x% S& _1 Q0 |2 F5 PAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English/ N* Z7 Z- B& V$ s; p% w( w" F: ~
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in# ~+ P ?- n% Z2 Y
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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2 b! M4 \+ f" @3 tIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make I1 ^0 ?$ |: g h2 w$ e7 ]% ~
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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5 n8 g( U& N( F0 o+ T/ w W$ t# e7 G: NThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up8 _% E6 G( q/ f z$ M
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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2 n# c K- S0 H# uThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
( m; y3 H& y8 w6 V# N5 u1 e7 ytroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like) T9 K5 z- ~7 U7 O! U$ T
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
; B& F* T" J$ B4 E. n) A" ereach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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6 x) K7 f/ f& a+ aGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
* v5 s5 d3 `4 Y/ vben a deterent to akurate speling.% |% X7 b) P5 x
' J! m9 \' C# q2 k+ K! _% A7 KAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
0 q+ K0 B1 J9 `: Xdisgrasful and it should go away. B( H! T/ v& X
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
) m- ], I% n ?. w- @: J"z" and "w" with "v".
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* R" A3 s0 ^/ I) Y- w, j+ NDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
4 c& K5 ]9 k7 R% g$ K' W1 Aafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl./ G8 }1 {4 j' O$ u4 M+ ~
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
( H. ^% b0 K; C! c- B5 D5 Yunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.$ ^7 N/ l0 T. U3 ^0 E' I: R
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
k: H0 Q( l& `# O, C7 lforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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