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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will( [- z. |6 j2 S9 V
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was" e1 O0 @2 p8 F
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
8 t, }! {' Z% R9 o1 U) vspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in2 X. `% i1 L4 x" i
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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$ ]' y4 D6 ~. T: |% z% u5 S" ?3 iIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make- o; P3 i" q2 `- N0 |
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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+ D$ y6 n- t( oThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
8 O8 n4 a+ f8 }( d3 Akonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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+ i5 r! w! A& Z o H7 nThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the8 v7 l5 K" U( h; f
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
8 |* s+ G0 R" U2 y2 ]fotograf 20% shorter.6 f$ m5 b5 }, Q* X# T6 U& B
9 y# S$ A. G4 A! K) _0 LIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to8 P1 K9 G. s+ }+ h$ Z; `9 ?% ^
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.4 q. q* T1 |: v3 U9 w
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always& V z. ?8 B8 L1 z' X, m* `; c
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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' R. ~' a6 Y: Z, G$ O6 d, F6 HAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
& y0 x2 O* n8 Zdisgrasful and it should go away.3 ~! S3 t a* s' w
2 e& K# \9 U* B* P' VBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
3 { c6 A! } c' {' o"z" and "w" with "v"." \( C2 }0 ?: i
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
2 d9 @* p+ [) [( Oafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
/ ?# b1 B7 I' U: ~5 Qunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.3 z [1 v9 u$ p" l! \$ Q/ Y6 |
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze/ V1 @2 t5 f$ K- v' a2 h. d
forst plas.
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5 `4 O, `- D8 F$ ^% I; N" J( oIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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