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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
' s& z0 e. Q' `be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was. F; S' B2 _ b8 S
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English0 Z6 C" p1 F( I6 {( h% V' L/ g0 K
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
; E- I# E4 B( k5 f, l! uplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".# I, X" Z% B( i+ K/ @2 @/ k
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make% V7 v* g: ^2 J1 f* p( j. n
the sivil servants jump with joy.( D0 ]1 e2 s+ h* G7 `" B
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
) X8 w; N6 [$ t' ikonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter." J# P7 Q+ a- r# ]' D: z( b* E U
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: d. m0 V3 N' `& e# S8 W! c5 QThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
& E8 f& t+ c4 W( ? {troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
: F% K+ n2 [; T# r$ Z9 k' ]2 b) l! rfotograf 20% shorter.8 O. {9 L, ^! v7 ], S5 q( r4 P4 } h$ t
- H! B0 j. I6 R5 cIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to( q! f; {" Z4 c. U( n
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
" V7 ]+ p2 z6 y# w hben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
0 R% Z" a" l6 |7 e$ A9 e6 jdisgrasful and it should go away.
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# k; H# o3 D$ O2 a$ t& ~By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
# v, b7 p; U( ^& w g8 W# K"z" and "w" with "v".
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# w- ?* f6 J% M6 T6 g5 Z! uDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and6 V! e, Y9 i# X
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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8 y! ]7 `! D$ P* Z; f1 NZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu9 S/ c y+ L# Y. c( U0 X/ I
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.9 \2 y; D) b. @/ z& c, f
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
4 i1 @* w% ^! }) f7 g) g: b* [! ]9 eforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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