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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will$ ^- ~- h5 g0 u
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was; t' G6 ~3 o3 b7 Y* F O |
the other possibility.
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% c5 |8 m$ _8 wAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English# t. @$ G% E9 h
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
+ u# d E& H# s$ C! R, Fplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".9 e1 `! h7 l# v2 ` O; Y
4 N) W6 U% t" m4 x( V2 A6 z IIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
: |4 k% Y1 `6 H) A+ S9 Uthe sivil servants jump with joy.# P4 w' G0 v% a
' M" r/ Y. q Y1 Q2 _! b6 kThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up3 _% e2 z& N5 _5 V9 {$ u5 K
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.) `$ Z% j/ G3 \
; s; K) d& L4 G2 k4 \
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the' b8 T& o8 Z' i; [$ v+ z7 c
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like- W* Y/ Q& G* |( H6 \8 x
fotograf 20% shorter.
& x; y. s, [# V( P: j0 H+ f) z- v5 R! Y" ]) l2 j, c3 E* u5 e3 q$ {/ O
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
+ A& L8 a: L' L6 g1 p' g) Lreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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) Z& |& y, x. H1 o2 i2 bGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always5 G( ?; J8 u! z* a
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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7 L1 F2 x( h" s oAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is2 V( N+ a# _7 ?- n5 w. }4 W
disgrasful and it should go away.
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! C! f7 q; ~6 WBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
/ `, y4 f0 D5 q3 O( v"z" and "w" with "v".# c- e% [0 y% g7 L6 I
$ F0 l5 S0 l1 g0 G' I* n% ~During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
/ [: ?5 g2 c) Z, k9 G; kafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.' O6 T/ H7 J. C1 {
% ]: `+ P, @& U8 x: K( Y. G: BZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
2 E4 e; l- }; Xunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru." R9 }/ ^8 d9 f q$ U% F3 v5 u/ T
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze- _$ V* F* w1 T B5 K
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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