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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will9 Q$ _1 j7 D* a# @2 V% C
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
& Q; @5 T( Q" d8 rthe other possibility.0 u C" s: S2 Y
+ V( \! u; o8 |6 q8 UAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
; C9 a3 b7 M7 g9 @: y' Sspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
* ?/ y7 T6 l; c, Uplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".- K( y3 o3 b) B) `; I7 K
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make( k! K2 b$ _ W0 T
the sivil servants jump with joy.6 S8 W9 D/ i: l5 `0 K
1 u$ `7 a9 q. z2 O( vThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up7 t P, E' }3 x) j. V2 x5 C- O
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.5 F+ z0 q* F& \* E) c+ N( X1 Z6 L
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
8 J1 i4 p* O; ]troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
6 \* V. |" b$ E/ ^5 ]0 Bfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
# _0 Q2 o+ i( o7 b. }& K2 y: }; {reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.6 P* D9 Q' h! e+ m" w! y& H1 i
3 H- a4 m! v# ]+ ~; ]Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
, O/ N( t4 S7 C$ j* A/ _2 b, aben a deterent to akurate speling.3 V( Z+ X H! a+ {4 u, K" u* [
/ K) `* H1 e6 b2 |# l8 eAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
9 P9 T8 S9 `) xdisgrasful and it should go away.
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/ f0 \) e) `/ Q( @2 a# jBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with( u/ m# A; q! `2 H8 h4 E
"z" and "w" with "v".
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+ K3 t- L7 U6 P8 C1 VDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and" R* j' i* k4 @
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.- m6 c i; h2 a
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu# S9 U) e- t3 O y, N# B2 Y: O% N
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.. y4 m; f4 B' M3 R9 }* C6 i
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze: i: b2 a! G& M4 Z! f) _. `4 v
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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