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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will9 ?: I" l9 y9 X
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
+ Y) `$ _: i- }5 o$ u- S0 tthe other possibility.
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9 T( u! K, i) j* w2 lAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
+ s9 b* N: q9 }) X: z1 d2 [. C* Nspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
7 x# J) i9 g$ fplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".& }* U G8 ]5 `# m, t
0 v# I W1 \/ ?6 qIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
1 F. U) B4 o. d O, Rthe sivil servants jump with joy.2 u4 j5 S( j# c$ e8 S k+ Y( Y0 x" m
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up7 `5 e6 D: m3 e: G+ n, Y
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.9 S& L+ @( W4 M% ~5 y% x; G
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
$ c6 M, K: F9 b# Utroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
3 v5 P# ]: N% r9 D! Z9 efotograf 20% shorter.
z+ ]: Q; C4 x* v. B7 C5 j2 N4 k4 j$ ^ O7 f& \
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
5 L0 ]% L$ c' f' p/ `1 Vreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.. W6 n1 m! Y2 ]4 D, q5 s
& f/ g! _; Q: [3 n7 C- U3 pGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always/ {" a! Z' [3 w" H9 c G
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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8 t9 Q# r, V. c/ Q4 kAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
& G- s+ W* a# `- @( J, Vdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
1 n: x7 K% t. G7 T"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and* E7 T! A) U/ F. \% W+ }
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
! N n' _! o/ t q+ v$ {3 J: wunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.% V- w& @% X( S" E2 \
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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; N5 r3 I$ h. j {1 m6 sIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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