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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will! |- `2 j8 l# Q; E; W( Y2 k6 F
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
7 ~. F3 o. U" M1 h$ Cthe other possibility.& z% ]( b# ^- r8 ?! R0 z
7 f1 Y0 j: }! V/ Y4 K c: m+ LAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English" y& P3 o: y+ M. x* ?1 o/ H
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in; G4 ?2 p. b7 Z' C Q' ~
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".& E: f( e: ]3 a
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make+ |) S% x- w- O2 o, f8 N, G
the sivil servants jump with joy.# s1 R' @: D# D! a* U6 q/ S
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up- W* {0 l+ g9 s. v/ B: {
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the1 A, ~( l) J. L4 k
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like$ `. M x# K' A2 z8 ~, @4 l
fotograf 20% shorter.! K# b. _; v% p1 A& B2 s, K4 S j9 t
! V% q' v% C; r9 K. gIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
7 Y4 N, l, ] _+ ~1 Jreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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! ]- F& m0 q& l% `Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
9 ]8 v5 e' U8 S9 _ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is1 b; h) E8 O U9 H: C/ [7 Y
disgrasful and it should go away.
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# K" K6 s( R v- N: dBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
- C& e4 E5 _0 w% z"z" and "w" with "v".
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( r2 b/ \, H) V4 X3 h9 l# gDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
& Q% i6 o+ t3 s4 z' safter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.. z9 U8 q2 u$ I Z) w/ h( c
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu+ O% S3 x! z6 N0 z$ Z i/ A% r" N
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.) z$ z* b5 _; V9 {
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze$ [ |. |, d2 a2 J5 R+ K
forst plas.% L0 ^" o2 N& b9 z* O6 G
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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