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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
" y" z: f/ s* l/ q" \5 Gbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
/ ]7 N! m$ Z: y1 tthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
6 O* L X" j0 l& y6 i7 @' q2 Zspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in8 V1 i1 y! ]1 o9 }9 v
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".1 \. m: k6 d( S% V% B ^
3 U$ L- N6 B9 l6 O9 cIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make3 J5 I) _2 Y; y. _' t z
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
9 K$ W) Z0 b9 ^) N! P! {/ dkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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9 V- Y. n4 S7 K5 pThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
0 J, n. B+ Q8 a; a: W5 q3 Ptroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
( z) e3 _1 g0 s5 H- a" lfotograf 20% shorter.' H' O7 A3 ]6 @/ V C
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
+ l) N8 Q- t+ W. x8 K: t2 V; G2 sreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
& ?# F" I6 N( O4 V# _6 R- [ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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( L* \, ^4 T2 pAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
W9 t1 b& D( T( rdisgrasful and it should go away.% k) v5 b$ y2 E& \. j3 {# p G
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
- V. h/ l% ]" {6 ]"z" and "w" with "v".( B" E" J4 \6 g) @4 B
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
/ ~5 c# E2 U" ] b! Pafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.7 n" G1 M3 {; G8 X! \ U* J
1 M+ K* B- Q# J9 IZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu) Y1 U7 c0 f7 n/ a1 n
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
. S5 }5 {3 P" U7 E8 eUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze6 V1 E W& l7 j7 v
forst plas.
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6 N# r2 C$ K. \- h7 {6 PIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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