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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
: \2 k$ ?$ {) R+ m/ V- Obe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
; z( b' c X; u* ?# ~' athe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English% K: H5 c% _2 O0 _6 w0 Q3 c9 b
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
' u3 a9 D/ M1 {) t* p9 Gplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make* s* @3 g8 F4 i7 D# P/ }
the sivil servants jump with joy.) [8 s+ g) D: R2 n; Y
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up3 B; {, ?6 w' r( ?1 j
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
$ \ l9 U2 ?8 m8 v X. htroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like7 V; i, Y! n$ h$ M9 h% _
fotograf 20% shorter.
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7 f0 T$ g2 [' Z8 \ I; y j1 ?, f, EIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to1 L" B" {& _+ W. j* U) J) f8 S
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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" q5 C( T S- i' K4 wGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always' v, \0 C% t' o, m2 {& {4 \6 E
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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0 l2 }0 e# W; f% M$ m* z, d! v. fAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is% X( V+ _2 {' { ]
disgrasful and it should go away.' Z! q0 F/ M* v0 n% K2 b# v) d
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
% y( ~4 P# A3 t# n" s! w"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and9 v+ V- a w- X: \
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
2 }& t; X9 r, A" ^$ u* Z. junderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.2 B/ d+ ]7 |6 `3 X, F+ G
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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/ z& R% o' _, e$ r% HIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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