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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
, Z5 j3 b2 o4 g( h! L& abe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
$ X1 c1 J# q9 E- r9 I9 s; `0 nthe other possibility.; `( W) \) I0 Z5 _# `+ @
' Q1 L6 N9 |! G8 fAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English0 u; N0 P& F; m$ H
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
$ @5 p+ X3 G5 g+ |! v6 D! fplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".1 h- x! G m1 f. I0 ?; t6 j+ Z
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make1 [3 {' R0 y8 ^3 S- m
the sivil servants jump with joy.5 [& f* z& S3 K3 T ]& z
/ j$ D& ^2 d2 O3 oThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
- u. {' y' Z3 X& Zkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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! P" J2 Q0 K$ w1 Q( JThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the# |# {: c6 N' Y' P; S( l
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
$ D% y8 ]0 @# ?9 a% Z7 X, U Sfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
3 A: Z. f; K! `/ R p9 hreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.# q* O+ _5 R- n" O; q% l' f# } b
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
" e0 H4 Y& T6 [% V! b" W, Q( [ben a deterent to akurate speling.) _, O# k" S: `( o* p
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is7 Y5 Z9 C# R$ H" s
disgrasful and it should go away.: Z* N! i) A& @6 p- d, y/ H4 y' n
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
0 W1 T- G; T9 {* } n"z" and "w" with "v".% C* b1 {* z5 ?3 O; P
" d2 V0 O% S9 I% G, w( dDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and* \" s! u9 I \
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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$ c, K" x, t3 G, [7 HZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
' j, T: Q5 Q+ a' xunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 k- z/ z5 T+ k5 @; MUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
1 ]4 ?& T) N7 ^9 }5 j; W3 sforst plas.% L4 {% I: F0 {) g
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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