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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will' H) ^5 \. n& v j9 U
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was0 P' E, J+ n' n `; c
the other possibility.: U4 p4 h- c5 M# U* K5 i) i
1 o- J) o. f: N2 z5 eAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English$ L- B F2 s9 {" o
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in* X0 ~! H' O' |6 v1 K( r9 s
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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; w: x* q$ R( k+ g9 hIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make$ g; o& B+ a6 C8 _. b
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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" o* j, _# L* ?3 \! RThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up/ O9 l+ g/ D3 t6 z& y- u
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.$ R4 _% ?9 n2 e g- e6 d+ ~0 U
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% Y- A$ d9 J6 x# ]9 OThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the) F0 {% `$ N7 x" T$ O6 g
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
2 k5 U# } w0 Wfotograf 20% shorter.
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* `$ O$ ]- |, k" _( R* JIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
' b0 M$ ^6 {! P) Areach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible./ ?8 Z6 i3 Z5 t' P/ s; _
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
) f9 m+ F5 b9 ]- n" pben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
: @4 j& E i3 E" h8 O! wdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
# E8 A, s9 f" x5 k; a% C"z" and "w" with "v"." s3 g0 H# S4 m1 l& |/ M8 C; ~! \/ O7 U
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
1 ]6 B; Y( _6 ]7 c8 ^after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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7 n/ i" z0 P0 N1 C3 X7 b- xZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu' V6 P, I! [! R" ]# Q
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
) j* z0 [! ]# s2 rUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze# y! i E4 r# v0 H9 G
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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