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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will8 R) N# F) E/ x9 H8 `
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was, u4 Y$ S4 O& J) r- e
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
' m, [+ w! m0 x6 ^% h8 I( Sspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
; Z& G( J1 u8 d }" |& W9 Vplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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2 {" V6 C/ ~& Q2 ]9 |& ~In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
0 Q) n4 i+ _9 |" H- p% xthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
8 w. M0 {! T0 Ukonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.6 f! S: v) K: [
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the1 `# z0 t" y) L
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
! Y: B2 c4 }8 t6 T4 g, Bfotograf 20% shorter.+ W V7 |+ |4 y6 D) G
4 H- K9 O, C/ r! L, _9 KIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to, @: [3 z1 P+ o9 H" W; }
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible./ }0 l. G$ k6 D$ c% h
: [/ F1 M2 d+ {& ?' l4 hGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always: p5 V6 D" \' K g# U+ [, o" v# f
ben a deterent to akurate speling.4 j4 D) p3 I) P( u# f3 F
( t4 G0 {2 q O4 |Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
' v: g9 f+ w, t# i9 \disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with( v% I, W4 w$ h) f$ k; | E
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
5 X+ L: `/ b; xafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.0 S* @8 e+ R) e; y0 L# ?5 B
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu8 S# I) k" A# l* E: J) Q9 r
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.2 [( X4 I0 C6 I/ T' f! |9 R: U
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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