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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will& v; _0 x3 S8 P( q
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was' ^( h) ^, |5 W
the other possibility.6 \6 H+ ^, ~ ]- P5 n0 P
* o5 k; |+ g: K* V- W& e, Y5 _As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English8 f& {. K; T+ |! f1 u7 k
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
. d1 B& I0 V4 i3 U8 P6 yplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make0 K" ^( O' T" V7 N* X; N
the sivil servants jump with joy.. e7 G, _+ Y0 `* Q
9 |$ w; J- s# Y; M4 V: p- UThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
1 N- i. l) n) W" ]( E/ Q( C! O8 Bkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.8 w# w6 n3 S& S: }4 r
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
) S, \4 C) _0 Q2 C8 V' ]troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
, |$ t' n) m1 i/ Bfotograf 20% shorter.$ @2 P7 g+ K3 H: L/ _5 A, d
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to) A/ v% ~' f' m* B- L4 C! Z, U) S
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.1 c4 p- X1 U7 j+ b
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
. N" `) u/ U( z* Fben a deterent to akurate speling.
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$ ^0 |; r* E$ s$ [* yAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
E2 v: [* W7 r% w/ v$ r: ^+ ?+ kdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
8 C' A9 M# z! E9 P) p: l9 T6 R"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and8 D: k" Y/ @# c ?& \. H3 k3 N
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. a7 t; A; E `
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
5 ?0 _6 w K: X$ |understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.+ r; B# Q% ?* s% J9 b& o I
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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