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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will1 Q% c7 A; b$ l/ t" }2 k
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was, Q+ v' K. R* z( [$ N6 a
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
6 `4 J1 a8 N: dspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
% N8 a, l' v* e, U# R7 J6 eplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make3 x0 c( q! X9 D1 n/ g/ X
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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r4 B( T1 M3 G, OThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
2 O, w8 u! ~6 Q# Hkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.2 C# u3 g8 i7 A* W6 \
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
6 F" x5 E* S# k" Ttroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like' e# n, k# K) W( F- b8 W g
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
& R3 @+ k( d9 F3 K9 hreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.+ g# k; A7 b% r- o1 A0 w. J
0 E5 |, X% U1 y3 aGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always! _' ]+ }9 C) T2 o# C* E
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
& A( ~; ^. x: s. N6 d7 \disgrasful and it should go away.) X) S/ S4 F% Y
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
/ J, B ]8 v y' M+ v/ ^after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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. p3 k/ M! l6 k& s" u8 BZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu* b0 ?, P# t+ s" L4 O$ ?& m
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
8 u' M( o- O" m# X+ p! _! WUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze5 ~: c: k2 H- ]8 P" o3 |. ]
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) T5 X. Y5 w. r. [! P, H2 kIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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