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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
* g4 N$ T" g' ^! Z- n: V# Sbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
3 O& @( w4 B% tthe other possibility.9 Y0 {) |" m8 ~! [- o# H/ p7 q
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English& H4 h8 H9 w. C% E7 V
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in* M- }) Q8 o9 R& C; y& e4 u" C
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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" P- l6 E& k) l0 Q7 @3 bIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
* w& z- g5 \5 o6 g6 Ethe sivil servants jump with joy.
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2 S( t5 F0 s# V, F" AThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
2 v+ {; {4 R- G7 Z. u1 ?% y0 }konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.- f7 ~ N8 L6 Q6 ]0 U" R8 H# |
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8 P# N4 P2 d) K# v( }% ~% EThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
6 }) i$ q; Z& p" {3 ~' _troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; z3 c2 [! ^) P/ vfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to4 W& w, [: M4 Z ~3 s& p$ V
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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' A4 \: t0 ~% A7 l7 jGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always5 _& i/ q: t8 x# e/ X: a! o
ben a deterent to akurate speling.8 m5 t' N" ]7 ?
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is2 \" Q; E, k! u( e$ C
disgrasful and it should go away./ r+ Y" I8 Y6 y/ g
) D a% D( ~6 ^By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
# N: ^# U! ]* C+ u( ]"z" and "w" with "v"./ k( I" X8 j1 g
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and" f" C9 n; f: F
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.7 ^8 @8 ] O! U o6 b
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
# g7 A8 L7 v. D: ]: X; s/ J1 T9 B% b2 bunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
# }: z+ F+ `+ v* GUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze& s8 Y: t( q* c/ B
forst plas.' F. |. [1 R7 G9 y2 f3 A& s
" a$ D0 F, m6 q, [If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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