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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
$ a$ q( }9 R8 P# M' Gbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was# }* d- _0 `) W
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
2 V1 f- T* m! K3 p7 [spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in% ^. x7 }7 w! S6 i0 `) i5 f
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".7 ]0 m- ~5 Z% t3 ~. l) W* e) f
$ ~5 X8 |7 t p) YIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make5 H# o" ]7 {! f& i, D% i" h3 q/ T* ?
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
) [1 Z3 E, S; N, G# Z: q/ d- o$ @konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
$ k( c2 N! U6 i7 y, V1 Utroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
9 [6 v, Z; p" G) @! G/ Afotograf 20% shorter.
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5 h# V+ V- l6 V) u* o: HIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
/ a# }, f$ D. H5 Z# v1 c! creach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
5 T# s( r( T+ d8 lben a deterent to akurate speling.8 D# |( R* p |
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
+ j3 z0 C+ @$ t2 q# e) rdisgrasful and it should go away.4 i2 c" X* A0 O2 X
# B6 M6 y8 L; v! ~By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
4 \5 V# n* k. U3 A6 m" X! i% i"z" and "w" with "v".0 @. m) p# _. W# ^* f' S- a! h+ l6 y0 @
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
M* u/ x* R( {8 S2 Qafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.* B) p5 a( E: H. a0 ~
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
1 l: f5 N% q+ f$ lunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
+ J9 `5 [2 v& i6 b; cUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze5 {- x6 n1 d1 j
forst plas.6 l, ^: r4 r; r `
% t) |+ ]$ X1 }8 EIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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