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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will8 H# N$ h( D7 e1 b
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
6 j' e: g- Z0 U8 N* e: }the other possibility.3 J2 B: X9 A' O6 n6 U% ?* Q1 T
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English7 F9 U+ i/ d# T
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
8 {* k* g& l, iplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".# x- d4 D% i) M: c! J4 H! z
) i+ F6 U! K# ]4 k# t, Y6 L( s. g, CIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make" [: B7 L7 c g
the sivil servants jump with joy.3 ]: Y5 U! g. L, b, O, m4 n' w( t9 j1 R6 k
' z/ X0 h4 g8 ?The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up; B; Q" x( @8 j) g+ ^: `0 ~
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the: w2 H- \9 h0 }( \( @2 r
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
3 ?) ?% L" _; z& T& d( mfotograf 20% shorter.% g; {; E5 h5 m0 L0 ?+ Q1 r' q9 K4 v
6 Q& C$ p8 V6 x+ i# ?In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
4 j2 Y- v# g$ j4 @* L3 G8 \reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.. y9 O- I$ Q% C
8 ^& Q: u% N) T5 yGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always8 m( H& M* J. J- B' S) l. X
ben a deterent to akurate speling.# ?! j% O6 H# k8 Z
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is& I! z, G+ O( c' E
disgrasful and it should go away.( [3 k# V* `; J! [
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
" M+ t* k; W W G"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and) k" T- I! f3 \& d, P/ I
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.; f# x! W) p* R; Q$ e/ f, u, [; d
3 \7 Z9 T' Z: AZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu% Z8 B# ^- U7 ]4 |; h: Z! m
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
% p4 u' [9 i+ i- \" nUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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) _% B) [, `/ t. hIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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