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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will- ^: t0 L9 l, F$ G8 d
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was7 O5 a% C3 d9 y0 Y
the other possibility.
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- w- t9 F$ {* k; AAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English5 X0 a% s8 X: a: |
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in' a& d p9 q0 ?
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".& O# m0 t( A7 L2 F. J; C' L
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make: t" ]% v( W* Q" y9 n6 I+ O
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
# v3 I. E1 a$ Y) Y9 e% y4 | o# i" @5 @konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.3 E: a" e9 K$ J E, y
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/ A3 Q% W8 z+ @There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the- g# e( k& }( ]. b0 L
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like9 b" s6 [" e! Y" ]/ z
fotograf 20% shorter.0 ~4 g1 F1 g# b+ y: n* D
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to* @8 I% |" m# K5 t; d+ Q
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always+ O5 A; Q; ?( N5 D
ben a deterent to akurate speling.* h# u5 z' y2 ^ _! M: y
; d8 ?# [3 |2 N) Q% ]8 D5 xAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is9 V8 R5 r/ g: \! C8 {
disgrasful and it should go away.0 ^; i6 g4 q1 X) P
; o" M1 J- E$ ~ }5 YBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
) f9 ~* q$ h7 E1 Q"z" and "w" with "v".! ?3 Q/ M4 i! I/ @
& s, E/ \; G5 a, M% C/ d' cDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
; ]6 U7 q9 o2 oafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.7 }, a# t3 b. S
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu& t4 O5 x/ x, m) j
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.9 ?' ~9 t4 _- r# v7 p) x) _
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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5 o; h& U4 D/ C# GIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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