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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will! K3 \7 i* \! W* N
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
/ k5 B5 b- T D" P8 d3 Ithe other possibility.- _) }* B% K7 U! _, ^/ f
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English( |6 P! j3 X$ R9 y/ b) f
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in1 P( o8 P f3 p( c8 l
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".# s9 U' B( F8 W7 b0 @3 F4 Y* O. W& i
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
6 C. O3 {+ m! B3 M+ D9 jthe sivil servants jump with joy.0 t9 J$ h- t i1 V. k# x
+ n/ E" x+ b# `% L% J3 QThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up k1 U+ M4 }3 l$ q1 Q ~6 `& W
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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7 |! K S( i) x! V6 z% \' D6 _ [' h! j6 e( N( b8 E( c- @" K
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
/ O+ |) L) K7 j9 T& dtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like; w; H8 N8 s4 o" `6 @1 Y
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to# U) Z8 ^& Q" ^! d0 |8 Z, S
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.! H+ |) u% l9 b! d5 R& Z" y
2 ^4 `& q# @' u* A) e& d7 sGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always; |' \# H+ K# a* `' E6 l. A
ben a deterent to akurate speling.5 A2 S* N* E/ M, t# F6 B
; Q" v0 S6 ?( e/ y; {1 F7 NAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
' A7 d) |5 h" j& qdisgrasful and it should go away.. z7 }8 v: w( [# d }7 b' Z
8 b/ j7 O" I0 V9 u- K8 `0 F; PBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with& Q' }9 q, O* m& M1 _7 V7 @; ]' S
"z" and "w" with "v".
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( i$ K" J4 q% ~' |% y1 E, O" l _1 E4 }During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
/ m& A! O2 s0 a; J5 wafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.2 G1 g3 X4 V( j6 r. ^1 y
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu: m0 c% \. `' L7 ]: ^8 X* Z
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.& v: v+ w2 E0 n* ]7 @
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
. i, r. x: `; B2 K7 T/ Tforst plas.
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0 b' x; i7 E3 n; M, W5 ~6 EIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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