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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
& A$ u8 n' P) S; s+ U; o! Ube the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was2 _% G7 `+ K. ?% W6 A
the other possibility.- r2 {1 Z: B I2 d$ ^1 q1 Z
1 R o6 p3 ?$ [* L3 ^! z: iAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
) Q" v% ]$ y) a# @4 o C" l( Xspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
( W1 g2 ~% x, w. \plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".; J8 L( }; E- W! h0 C
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
9 z9 U2 U+ \5 c9 E/ ~) K; athe sivil servants jump with joy.
! r1 C( N f% u- h" ?; ^8 U) L# M* U- b! K4 f; _4 k
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
# w: M) O0 n& w+ p% _konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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: I0 E5 H S) Y* |. mThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the4 G& `( {3 o0 ^4 W) ~; x: x3 u- q
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like& m6 w6 O$ @ g9 c) y
fotograf 20% shorter.+ b Y0 `5 R! L4 N- Z5 b$ P
4 K+ V+ b& `- v) DIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
- t- K) f! }$ preach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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% p( G- y8 l7 y: \2 n7 h' P, GGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
9 T" C8 Y2 j1 k! zben a deterent to akurate speling.
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- A$ _9 S: G7 GAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is& z% K6 I: h2 R! H X
disgrasful and it should go away.% E, |9 C" z$ }
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with8 V+ E/ f3 M! U7 i
"z" and "w" with "v".
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1 E6 ?$ T. M' k: g( e0 BDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
( v R' N) @2 ]; @& l9 I8 B; ~7 wafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.: ]7 v* r( z6 C2 m3 O8 L
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
: u/ L: Y# o2 lunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.7 z z' I) @$ A2 @0 i
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze, D, s1 Q& h) ~+ [. R5 Y: N
forst plas. e8 G5 o4 n! A6 K$ ~7 ~7 q
" [0 E8 v. A/ T |If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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