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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
5 d- S0 U+ d6 X! z/ v0 Q8 pbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
$ S% Q+ L: h% K1 athe other possibility.
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+ [2 x. Q: y6 H3 z, rAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English2 E' d# D# ?! O0 t! P$ a
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
2 T- D# Y3 S, i/ F4 splan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
3 d( i- T1 i3 g8 W P. M9 g3 Pthe sivil servants jump with joy." w4 W/ @; z- Y
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
% Z) _6 \8 Y2 C0 b& C% Nkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.! T9 o* s2 f; e6 {! C9 t w
9 Q. ?7 C. X" c* w
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the+ \* J4 [# g$ T$ I7 d3 E
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
' p Y' @+ L S _; Q8 Ffotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to* o* V% |1 i" R, n
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible., t; E# _( G5 S8 i K) a
/ H8 m. ]$ ^( }# e& rGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
% M$ G) c+ j7 qben a deterent to akurate speling.( g, m6 N( f- [
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is, }) ?( L b( A* Q! X# ~
disgrasful and it should go away.
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1 Q8 g2 x0 R8 }, y) v7 GBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with e. p8 a, N) L
"z" and "w" with "v".
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) U* U% Y& X/ f2 U: Y/ U( qDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
* q+ S1 I) q8 R$ _after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.% t3 Z) l8 l2 @% r; K( ]) Y
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu, j1 A! S9 }6 r& h
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
, |2 {0 f* `5 b: X# H, |, p$ OUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
- i8 ~; L+ ]) J$ s8 t/ Z" Qforst plas.* p% P' H7 U, t" V9 l+ h( x
& Y) E; h* B2 D3 \If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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