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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
7 K @% r3 C3 ?0 L E1 o. _' kbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
/ q# `6 s5 {/ Qthe other possibility., s) _& t3 s! h
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
6 S4 I6 \6 [( k. x& V6 Lspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in! ]% ^ J! V5 M; ?6 P; C: {4 g8 P
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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4 {, d d. z/ F5 o4 y D6 tIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
2 }9 z |4 u6 \) T0 t. dthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
( r- U6 y( m7 D; L) f9 vkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
2 D: O7 q% c0 i5 U# k+ b- s0 g
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
0 Z* A/ w8 ~0 F" Ztroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like5 F: K( a% b2 d# W0 u
fotograf 20% shorter.
/ h; p D, @1 u+ N' y4 I# y( k5 [7 s
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
, i% l; V3 b: i( c( [reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.5 t6 q; O& N' s0 r( S" ]
9 } z1 `* o5 h, O1 Z" hGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
( R9 D, d4 M7 ^6 x. c O6 {ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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4 r- T$ p4 v' d8 G6 H4 [# cAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is$ U( u- h- i8 }* h
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
- B+ b, m+ ~1 Q6 {- B' K2 K/ T"z" and "w" with "v".: y% \/ F! Q6 K7 V: G. T0 n- |9 ?; \
0 z- t+ e! v8 @2 w. t* IDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
% d1 _7 t# n* X4 \after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.- o/ a; B: W& R
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu" d% s+ I q) z+ G6 _+ \" }
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.0 p% G h* {3 n$ C/ F
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
1 A7 J9 d# `. k4 ~6 qforst plas.* _8 u! l6 g# \. Z \* ]! O
5 V* P! b( p. z3 OIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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