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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
3 ^5 f% C) q/ a1 w* \$ Obe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
9 ~7 r7 Q+ l( ]1 [5 s9 kthe other possibility.
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F& ~8 N# ?- f& v0 [As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
& [; ]' f; G" K' \. uspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
+ h0 C3 }2 z$ k$ P2 Jplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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d2 F, h7 c* ]. u6 GIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
/ h8 C" w+ r# Cthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up' D3 M0 @5 O2 s/ v
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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S8 Y% Q' J8 Z4 JThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
" p+ T3 r* M8 G; R$ N: d) Vtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
8 \& `# Q( B% ~' P% m/ Lfotograf 20% shorter.
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+ x T0 W! }8 hIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
8 T: S1 m m, E+ M' E% h( Yreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
+ M: i3 o1 W ^5 Y, D% Aben a deterent to akurate speling.3 c- s# j ^7 \
0 d/ e+ [; w- u8 P- z/ H/ c' R8 R- aAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
; {& N* A/ N+ idisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with8 n& ^: d2 X# v) Q4 \9 \
"z" and "w" with "v"./ A" V& x/ [9 i% [ N7 g4 M" `. h* J
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and- u5 J1 E1 `; c1 Q" T( V
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.% R5 H8 u; o4 l( Z; w+ F; _
0 { y/ \" K2 Q4 N5 GZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu2 S9 o; v$ b( K1 F/ X4 L* C: Y
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.4 t3 F% c( N4 e( [
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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& N0 |2 c/ Z8 a8 _If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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