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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
$ m4 h; D0 h! g' b& abe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
" I) S2 ~5 z3 c7 @% xthe other possibility.8 e2 t- f: Y1 i4 e8 q: `
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English3 [9 H! x6 u% [( \, p
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in" _2 @" S7 r7 V9 t
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".+ z" A, j, N( _0 i% ~. \9 }
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
" t; G+ U2 E0 i. sthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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/ E( y* {, x5 f* v1 K5 n- o3 [The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up7 A+ H6 |9 L, ?$ b, i: ` d) ?
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.: t, I# Q! P* P- P! [6 Y6 L) S7 L
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3 Q3 [* y( T& TThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
\5 Y- ~$ h. j+ ^, n+ Ttroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like. _% E( N# U' b/ {/ g
fotograf 20% shorter.
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3 r1 |3 ], l0 \( m: W J' [0 I5 oIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
7 R. H1 I; ^9 j% Z" U" @' k a, F& Yreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always! \7 m" X) g+ Q0 t! X b% H
ben a deterent to akurate speling.) E6 y# ^9 }, g; G0 C) a2 T( H
8 v' |" Z9 | L5 u/ e* T, p* ]Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
! ?7 a; k( \ Y5 F! c) jdisgrasful and it should go away.
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+ u0 C) C* s/ ?+ q5 z1 S) q3 |By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with8 D/ q! J; k7 W* b; j* y& x
"z" and "w" with "v".
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9 ~% a y8 G! V7 c# pDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
- Z% k6 i" g" l% l6 r5 N& |after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.4 n f: S( V- H1 I
% \: y$ E! _) } V/ \* R- \Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
" p. h) b' a! r6 ~! L _$ Iunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.3 R4 A/ U4 K4 ?2 ^/ L
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
6 _5 P0 @ x7 E5 ~# k ], J2 Xforst plas.9 X u, ]+ i6 b
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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