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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
0 D6 q/ p9 k& i" ]5 e, Vbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was/ m$ a0 y1 Q$ [* r4 A+ b3 x
the other possibility.
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/ J0 _# n& Y$ P; B- v! NAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
! E6 V* u4 T. u! n5 C3 M/ uspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
: q, f+ X7 }7 B+ z( uplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".# ^, j/ V( q3 N9 p' h5 V
8 M( @- \0 e b2 o) Z. u9 K% [In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
- A6 l, l: C1 G" kthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
: W- _. P* y2 S& v: qkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.7 O L/ e. d* m% P1 H
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the# t) v# p# d( S" P) I+ q' U3 t( U# z( k
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
0 E( F, b% ]! |fotograf 20% shorter.
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6 _. P6 p! ?3 i9 M, X9 Z' P4 c! OIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
$ ~7 ]" c. X m. i/ g9 [reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
6 I) N* {1 @# c, ?3 W2 d) Uben a deterent to akurate speling.+ ]& A/ {6 j R' U2 M. z. g- E
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is0 J) Z; W; d9 [3 ]' m
disgrasful and it should go away.* Q: k9 p [( o, h( d$ u
, @! x9 k. |3 N: x OBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with8 F+ C. K2 o& U: O, i
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
; l B0 a' g! Z7 T$ e, oafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
9 P; [6 }' ^ B% X4 Ounderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
. X0 M w/ z9 eUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze& `. T0 C" |- B7 H0 a, [6 `
forst plas.; w2 t! K7 o- u' U! u1 m
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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