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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will3 p9 @5 R5 w# i8 [- {# a5 g
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
" e& L% ~3 L1 ~' K; z( othe other possibility.8 Q h" d8 {! Z' _& {) d d Y; P
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
1 G6 V* S$ Q; f& W5 ~spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in' b# H7 X0 \# ?. l& N" k, V$ H
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".1 w1 S4 r, {4 U; w1 x- s
" X0 f& E1 O4 \. I5 PIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make* g" n5 c# `9 Z" l
the sivil servants jump with joy.8 |8 G1 q: m, }- g2 c$ l3 U v- [
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
5 m: ~: O- i1 e- G* Xkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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. ~- h" d3 m2 N1 yThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
% H8 l, @$ }% \ a1 X0 ttroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like7 b" T+ W: l; }9 t! c- c m
fotograf 20% shorter.
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/ G# t! f& O7 s l2 CIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
' A ~& S0 X9 X1 x- M! a4 ]reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.# a& `% w- s% G% \( n
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
# k# G- f! Q8 W! C6 _1 x9 Xben a deterent to akurate speling.+ D: k: F; f: J* m9 u' F
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is. j$ f! d$ m. {4 n
disgrasful and it should go away.+ K% N; G% E& ?$ W$ Z1 @
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
- A8 w. b3 U$ f* W. u' a"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
C, s% R9 d K( X; r t9 J1 Bafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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( N) Q3 o3 E2 c1 y9 H- [& BZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu3 v0 r; B3 m2 |
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
) o* W! Q+ u6 {- B+ m4 _Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze! u9 O2 A& Y2 u" X( c
forst plas.( l8 s' I3 w( v# c6 V$ b" v6 g
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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