 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.. Y# m" [9 w+ v/ o4 U7 V
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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' q. r: s/ ]6 b4 R; O, h8 x+ GI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:. \; d: n$ m1 ]3 x/ c" q, m: G& h9 p. T
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:0 O- @4 l% ?3 n5 ~3 F
) [) ~8 f: S3 I: A. i"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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) Y8 _8 }0 l) f; Q4 @( j0 H; xI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"2 X$ i+ B5 l$ \; |& `; `' Q2 j
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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+ G+ R4 w. x9 k# II have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!* Y# d; } H( v) h+ d
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."$ J3 K. v3 l4 P/ ~- g2 q& O
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"2 E- a; a: \! l* w! E
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”( F2 o4 J6 T. z( u# S" X( u* q
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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% G4 p; p# {# _4 lThank you very much!7 n Y5 K ^; m; n% ~* h
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9 i6 k3 W1 r8 Y/ `$ ?" R7 RImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.( D8 E! Q( U( k
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.' Z5 L0 \0 F$ {2 j
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.# T5 r$ e8 X( m/ q- A" B9 d, ~8 L
1 u: H/ ~& n+ A! `/ aJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".- ~# \0 ^8 k+ Z! |. M
+ U; {" J( B) N! d$ f# S L" f2 K" ~Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.5 m2 i9 J$ }0 v
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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