 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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$ |! M# Z4 ~0 i# m9 KI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.& D! R) f" o/ v+ y" Y9 w
0 p- p! W9 l( j( E: hI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.! F4 M5 S1 E* N( A4 v/ A4 m' }
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:+ r3 u8 \; ?8 W* h
5 j, k$ E+ a2 |9 t8 z"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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( s# Y R! l7 |0 @5 oI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?. K& P7 Z2 F3 o$ a$ v
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And the second one was:
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P0 @/ s& X1 Q6 H) T"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?% P T( e6 c1 u
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"; @0 f9 |: ?0 k. a3 x3 X: ^
% T5 }/ @- h% \I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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+ d( `0 S- T$ ?+ C" l8 j+ Z' gI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever! F2 W% A% p( F5 r
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.": ]8 ?1 O% D( x4 r& ]1 ?
$ x w N, s' f7 d' q/ h$ @So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?" c+ z3 f ?' g3 X/ C: y
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”8 Q, g2 J3 N( z! q' E" O% B' [ i
4 q3 M1 C7 ~$ I! WThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.6 p1 h! o \7 d: g) ?. R
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Thank you very much!- S8 w9 }; Y7 D) ], o
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4 d0 x5 B8 r4 o$ w& G: o; m* FImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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" r/ T' V. Z0 y1 `9 d0 T2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.' t. l; K8 ~7 v4 {& E# ^- h% {
1 |9 S1 C! X! B: u" p# \# v! S# ["Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.! z6 u/ ~3 o r# L* _9 u
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".% `/ G1 w9 y$ Y& |
G* ~* ^! k( L: r3 e3 a6 ~Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.8 t# E6 i7 g( ]
. C) U9 T8 l$ M, x1 U$ [The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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