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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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$ |! M# Z4 ~0 i# m9 KI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.& D! R) f" o/ v+ y" Y9 w

0 p- p! W9 l( j( E: hI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.! F4 M5 S1 E* N( A4 v/ A4 m' }
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:+ r3 u8 \; ?8 W* h

5 j, k$ E+ a2 |9 t8 z"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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( s# Y  R! l7 |0 @5 oI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?. K& P7 Z2 F3 o$ a$ v
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And the second one was:
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  P0 @/ s& X1 Q6 H) T"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?% P  T( e6 c1 u
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"; @0 f9 |: ?0 k. a3 x3 X: ^

% T5 }/ @- h% \I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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+ d( `0 S- T$ ?+ C" l8 j+ Z' gI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!  F2 W% A% p( F5 r
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.": ]8 ?1 O% D( x4 r& ]1 ?

$ x  w  N, s' f7 d' q/ h$ @So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"  c+ z3 f  ?' g3 X/ C: y
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”8 Q, g2 J3 N( z! q' E" O% B' [  i

4 q3 M1 C7 ~$ I! WThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.6 p1 h! o  \7 d: g) ?. R
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Thank you very much!- S8 w9 }; Y7 D) ], o
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4 d0 x5 B8 r4 o$ w& G: o; m* FImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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" r/ T' V. Z0 y1 `9 d0 T2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.' t. l; K8 ~7 v4 {& E# ^- h% {

1 |9 S1 C! X! B: u" p# \# v! S# ["Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.! z6 u/ ~3 o  r# L* _9 u
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".% `/ G1 w9 y$ Y& |

  G* ~* ^! k( L: r3 e3 a6 ~Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.8 t# E6 i7 g( ]

. C) U9 T8 l$ M, x1 U$ [The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
3 F4 ]  g$ b; A: H0 V# ta young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。: l* ?2 B, m0 o; C
怎么理解?6 o9 z  ~& B0 T/ U4 j
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116 7 k6 z6 Q& X( A) Y' ^- Y

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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。/ C+ j, F4 K6 P7 p: `( \4 I% o
怎么理解?& z9 w0 G" K* ?% I2 n: m& m! |
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
6 \2 j- E, }7 i6 j$ ]2 `cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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" X) w0 c! B7 C" O# b4 G我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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) w1 m* r- c0 Z2 w# B2 e我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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