 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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( u: Y8 O0 D' T L. f) z$ bI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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( [7 x+ j3 c: a, \& G) WI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.6 {6 m% A* ~: t; ^1 s- j
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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1 L* z1 J+ z" u- {# ~"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"" m6 h: d/ i0 O, v/ L
1 l, s7 `; O3 }I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?6 A# x, I2 `" b' S9 ?7 l
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And the second one was:
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$ B% l L$ r( E6 s& ]2 a& ]0 R+ E"What's the 2nd Amendment?"% r6 W+ d3 \( C, Z
' Z+ K6 Z* _1 j. DI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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- E/ J z4 |8 A' k2 z/ v( |" {I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?8 J' ~. s# j8 v% \! L
; K- h8 O% y! O( \( V8 G. I/ O" ?I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!5 l+ e9 }1 x5 `: r: @
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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# F7 X, o: m- USo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"! Z/ \+ k" C. s
C" I F: J% O5 v7 `Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”0 s4 [) _6 u7 [5 Z
( y- F4 z7 G- u8 Y* U( hThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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# v D: \/ F' c7 ~8 PThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.3 V# @+ T+ [! G
2 X; n" w8 J% L& G0 f2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.6 y: q- m3 t* D: e
' L; e- u5 h- f! `( GJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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