黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

十年移民路_

Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.

I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.

/ M) H* {# K7 j& W5 \/ uI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
/ s9 [$ `+ L0 z  s
! {: ~0 m% _4 D. HI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
, V7 M" J- d1 _. u9 e
$ M2 X* u( L7 N! j' U: c4 K9 c"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
2 R4 n/ u+ O$ Q3 C
9 `  A6 V2 c7 ]1 Q! P9 R! SI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
4 T: k: T8 {# U
9 n  Z% l+ b" N- G7 s& C2 cAnd the second one was:
/ p- m* [/ X$ v+ D
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
$ S2 \' v+ h; n+ X2 e. z& p
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
" H. k7 n" w: V, R8 R
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
( M" c, s. C8 t+ ]! \( A
# k/ \. c* `9 h7 Q7 \& r- vI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?

; v, Q; o* q- I9 n! bI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
7 \1 j2 i4 m/ q+ E  A1 m
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
. E2 j- L7 R  v2 b2 _; Z4 k
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
/ K; ~& E6 R$ D5 a
( w( ?2 I! q' E' b; H2 ~Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”

7 J/ w+ `4 R. H  |This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
  K/ ]- ?4 ]3 P1 n
Thank you very much!

==========================
  g# g7 w9 M4 x# G, `; c+ Q6 ~
) e" w- v$ s$ cImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
' t0 t6 y$ {$ H! v+ M. }
) q0 E! n0 R5 C% ~1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
* D+ I: u7 V) X, \" i* L+ F
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.

% V/ p& X4 g8 t( x$ i  n, H4 R! F"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.

/ e( h9 @% X1 GJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".

. [1 o% c' n3 CRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
' Y- v" M. n( Q& f
& p5 ^0 D& ^( tThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".

billzhao

the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子（尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的）.

cyz0116

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.

billzhao

朝阳

this guy is really cool.

cyz0116

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
3 N) ~% G  \7 [! D+ Z0 K怎么理解？
; Q& I/ l1 \% t5 f. g50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？

Tara2009

6# cyz0116


不离婚，白头到老

朝阳

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
怎么理解？
, }$ q( Q& l  ?0 j50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高，（因为他害怕婚姻）可能他离不了婚吧。

Tara2009

8# 朝阳

我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。

billzhao

同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看，觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了，好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲，不一定是梦想，却有可能是噩梦

Tara2009

表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的，越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。

陕西闺女

东瞅瞅,西侃侃.