 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.+ i( C4 C6 S: x/ @5 q1 p# ~
' e! }4 s5 h6 o: @' f2 j) qI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.. O( x! ^( ?$ H- s/ }* X+ Q
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:- J- @6 @# F+ {. D9 U
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?: ~; Y+ b# Y7 `7 o. n5 j
0 e& f+ N) F; j. v+ B) aAnd the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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+ w# I$ B# K8 ]) P5 @; ^I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"* U( Y% h: L( S" I1 E& \
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?6 w! u/ u7 l2 `! ]5 l
) u/ U" P- y1 O5 x. QI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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) |7 L; j0 j4 k2 U3 a& H: t3 kI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."0 D( N/ ^3 P* A) ]
0 X; R# B5 h5 A6 N% B, ?So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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+ G" d ]: P0 W2 i. a) JThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.1 d" \6 D# ? t3 W- x5 O( }
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Thank you very much!. w' Q h& W1 R9 _' b
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% E3 ?6 ?( A3 u, gImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".- c' |5 L& P1 O6 h% n! a# V
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.* ?: ^$ {; { q8 `# U
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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