 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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/ c0 ?3 t. y) OI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.9 N% R2 H2 s' { ~
( e1 d1 G8 U6 H: h% \I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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7 w8 O/ w7 a4 SI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:8 [; b" P& j+ F' F# p, ~9 U# G
3 s5 |( a. i# G4 T"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"/ Z% Z9 ~4 ^( L6 _. \
5 i3 [0 @. x' y8 g# aI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?) f+ a( P' I" R4 U/ V& v6 D9 D! B
3 ?; d5 c) c( @ ~And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"# Z7 h" |- A8 ?; ^
2 @0 m. r* n ^. y1 cI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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) {/ g* C" g. N" U"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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6 e/ C9 Q7 T$ U: S. {. PI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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4 a( K0 p2 `( h1 C' ^I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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7 {& l6 D- c8 G5 T1 x# N, Z" NSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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; p& w6 h9 s" I8 wNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”- D8 L- D9 F1 y" N/ e; g6 r' i
; O6 A" [3 g/ X" d( iThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!3 d7 q; a) P i1 n
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:1 O! W. k6 ^! e. g" B% Q# _
" k) R8 {8 ~2 I# G1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.% F) z5 P* o" e1 D- b5 F: n4 k. u) ^
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".$ S4 i5 A! g1 Z8 m
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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! D/ {# t( @( {$ J2 z/ G, zThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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