Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 x! D2 M/ B) h. h2 tMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
- E8 q! G3 G3 w2 P$ \- y- `Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
$ z  h) v/ y$ R: A
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
) H! s# H* d' x: L: ASome overnight travel required, including trips to
- [! H, X, w1 ^/ l; Lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
& e1 Z: _) L& E) q7 |The rest of your life.
  d3 l; L$ D+ F# \1 oMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' l+ c2 N' N" ~0 U( S1 Zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
) a# X9 b- _% x' uthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 K4 V9 s3 t) c1 v! a! `Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
; t( R! C4 g% [; ]: ~! r5 U  `Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# \0 p: ~: a/ I* Y/ ]& M  scoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
( t% b+ y& I" @& nan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
# H* m- X: D' |half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
, ]  P7 o  D, l4 }- _+ xthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

$ R' B, Z% r4 C4 Z& k$ YPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
: p! X. u/ k5 I5 }4 A* d5 s; q+ C7 \" uYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
; Y, Y; l% {% E/ ^" E7 Q( Uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
% B8 D3 L  K. n) i6 @( F$ n4 @# nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
# C' o( _  T* m2 fNone required, unfortunately.
+ e( z, g& n( a1 }" E/ e* ?5 oOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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/ i$ V9 K  b0 b* J6 EWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 o4 a* x8 X6 `! ^# BGet this! You pay them!
0 A$ @. W# v9 ^9 p9 yOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
* [- z4 X) [/ S5 K. `2 Eof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
6 ]* n4 x* W6 m% gWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
  A7 ]) T; \; N8 SWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% i3 n- H% N( v" B2 D* Eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; p8 Z* l. y% h: W1 Mno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

$ Q' [$ _: {% M7 P+ g* F  tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
6 W( J9 D5 @' }9 t' |
for life if you play your cards right.
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) S, _' j% p8 U, \6 G& |  K** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
$ z0 V- g# k1 |+ @3 ~$ Lto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.