Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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$ r/ d2 z7 G8 w2 M; C3 gJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

* Q: N) s5 M" cpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
8 q2 w* F$ U0 c! [) A6 C. B  zand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: y2 x  _5 a& C: \2 A# USome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
. I% z! D2 s0 nTravel expenses not reimbursed.
8 q! Y9 Z0 K7 v  kExtensive courier duties also required.

3 C6 _" ]" X6 D( j6 mRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
; X: R* |7 F' t; S+ k. ~Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
4 O* w' z. U) b2 U+ pand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
$ ]' |2 r0 ^$ Q7 B/ \0 Din case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 T3 n9 r, i* s4 q& ~and stuck zippers.
1 p6 z/ X* I+ sMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
& X! D) x1 A# q. x9 o7 CMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
3 T+ y7 ^, D% k- l: zan embarrassment the next.
! r+ l7 U2 K& G! r. X" y* BMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
) k4 H6 R4 f6 ]9 Q% XMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
: g, j5 V6 f" G; e. tMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 w# w# W" a. Z! ^: a; d, l. G& f2 ajanitorial work  throughout the facility.

; u2 U3 Q' w6 X" v$ d" H- VPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
, Q1 l7 D: y( Iwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
# d3 h1 M3 U8 Q) L  scan ultimately surpass you.
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$ ^# v  k& G9 b* _2 r5 }+ wPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
# J0 t/ E, Z" W/ T2 O6 Q( jOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
! Q) @# `% }1 N2 jGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
9 a6 K/ \6 f2 Aa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 g; c$ ~  @; \8 f5 pof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
& t5 _) W1 F# b3 D5 Fyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
9 U. h, Y# m+ M# u1 cWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
2 r4 O8 X; ~: T/ Y/ o( O+ Rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 F* i% j4 i! v# d  @- o0 Ono stock options are offered,
4 j: }# S! O' x- Nthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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: Y& I4 q$ ?  U, b( ?, xForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
' o9 z+ D, Z3 ]2 iletting them know they are appreciated
, t1 ^! t' U: C) J( b: ]for the fabulous job they do...
+ ]+ h! `7 D1 b, o) q9 C; g. kor forward with love
& K. S7 r  y# b% V) Wto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.