Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 W9 M4 q( F* F1 i# ZMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
8 ?3 A+ F3 Z0 h$ ~Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
6 y; o- \3 {  P3 Avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 N6 l' J4 j) q6 B. Fand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% U% {7 B" V* S1 D, `% y8 ZSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
; X9 T. b8 Z. ?# ~endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
/ e1 o, r( U! S: N; }- DMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
1 k- ^$ [  X, n5 {8 BMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ ~2 }3 d1 G  H" DAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
/ i: n( p, f0 w" v4 e0 Gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
, J2 {& q" p+ EMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
* m8 N0 E4 c% Usuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
! P* K  U# x) Ecoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) u2 R/ c* H2 j4 }4 f- {& \Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ ]7 v+ b, w5 Q# }) T$ _# F* dMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, `: h* W* r& `! V: l8 C, aan embarrassment the next.
, P9 t$ g2 m6 |& wMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- [3 E% |, H6 B7 M+ N8 Rhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" D; ~0 i! C, B7 [4 lMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
: v6 M1 m( F9 a7 u. |# m& zMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
' \* n. W" M( C. _( [4 hResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ g6 Z4 B. R8 C* h' p0 |/ {janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( t2 P! m4 p/ N/ }1 _9 ]) O, eNone.
: _% `. f# Y' r$ U% F2 }$ D' k7 [Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
5 ~8 s: P9 a; Q4 P% bcan ultimately surpass you.
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3 U/ x# {3 t; K" k' X6 T" |( y3 oPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
' O. n9 h. c9 [$ h/ ?7 q+ E# VNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
3 B6 g- Y3 p  j$ YGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
; z% s0 J; g  ~, j0 F8 o1 la balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
5 F+ k# e/ {2 b, Tof the assumption that college will help them
8 A6 N# A9 k) l* s$ H+ `- Wbecome financially independent.
+ \. M& ^* j) y1 f/ e( EWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
+ ~+ m, ^6 {1 J: O" r5 [+ N. nyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

0 N# u8 s& D9 ~, H" Funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
9 O2 C, i& n$ ~- O+ u( c
for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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3 L+ V5 b8 T! V# {Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
  J! Z: @) O, \or forward with love
1 C, h+ H& O; a! ito anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.