Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' ~; Y, {  g8 ]/ \! I$ K3 g. _# F" BDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
" ^1 ~. G6 e1 R- r; `+ |' a  n
! T+ ]( U; l" I1 _$ p  Y# J
6 ]0 ~: c  }7 C- s( DJOB DESCRIPTION:
$ S) j6 e& o2 ]Long term, team players needed for challenging,
; ^1 n2 R' \, A( C
# Z0 D( z& D  N, zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ y+ U) m" w! T3 g4 |Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
- _3 j% _5 N) v5 Dvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
1 ~, @2 Q8 H; L; b' l2 n0 Z1 Cand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
9 s# L9 t* ]! @+ z7 ?2 ZTravel expenses not reimbursed.
7 P8 B' u' H2 b5 n! o, l# mExtensive courier duties also required.
  J% m. p" |2 T3 Q; N4 _# Q
; z7 r1 _9 S: b1 V7 D. d' C7 ^: @' mRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
3 k( W9 p; j1 X& }7 X  d  t" yMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, Z4 u, a; Y" ^5 c5 Z. Uand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 \& b% e+ H- X2 Y% n$ J# Q& zin case, this time, the screams from
) v' w8 T0 d4 ithe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 q9 F( y; K8 \, nMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  N% s. h4 F3 e% ]7 o9 z- dsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
, ~% [' Z! M! T8 a* m  I# l- t) kMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 D: c* O8 r! P# _' Rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
! x  h  _/ R4 R1 Z( MMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
/ [; R6 d) h& r" K( w0 zan embarrassment the next.
+ @# O# e# e. r/ F, C7 aMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' g+ A1 s$ ~3 `0 ]) n4 M3 X( rhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
( e+ o/ c; f; n! \7 n% E# T% AMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
8 p0 Y6 J  Q: S- m1 Bthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

5 u8 @& L  m. _) a4 hPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
) Z0 U5 @: p0 e. m+ xNone.
9 B7 J4 n2 d( @( [Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

- X! K) y: \5 O+ V; q, B" K2 e
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
; L4 D$ b" ~' ~# c4 ?On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
' P6 {8 M; }; c0 D/ T
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
- Q1 `( T/ z4 U# z4 LOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
4 r0 d+ `! w: a* T% |a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ o1 z1 S2 |- h! ^1 @# _, L- ?you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

% |3 g" V% E$ `9 E2 {BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
  Y! t5 b3 Z! O$ fno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
. \3 }$ G) ]2 M0 {/ nno stock options are offered,
6 T7 r0 N, X2 p5 Athis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
( l2 v  M% A; z- i% R
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

/ |3 y7 `' w0 a* V9 F+ \for life if you play your cards right.

: D& j( r! W: e& [

0 F) p* t' P* q3 _3 F+ p
) {& f. q7 |0 ^* U9 f** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
& M: x& v# s2 N
0 C# Y1 g4 J9 [, }2 s

# l' ?( b) F- cForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
8 x* J/ M% v) q, c4 W3 Ffor the fabulous job they do...
# W% \! H9 N- R8 ^* Vor forward with love
- d. [3 F; Z4 [to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.