Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
  }8 E( M7 j- ^% v; u6 ?: CDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
$ z. p8 I9 j6 T; W
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9 s, h; W* r  R" _. v7 }JOB DESCRIPTION:
( U1 `. k" S0 F9 WLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
$ X6 C! p  e6 y/ E- yCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% N) L& c  `, W& {Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
3 k. H* \) X3 S  Z* m6 O* H* V: Oendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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+ ~! W6 n: _. u. P# L1 rRESPONSIBILITIES:
: b2 I+ I# H# y& X: R/ s1 j& }The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
/ |) |* y: Z9 N% f: yMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; Z4 ~5 L5 B4 _  w0 m8 X$ min case, this time, the screams from
9 a3 d$ F- c! w9 s. j+ e. ]: Vthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
, l3 P6 ], p6 Y, f3 _Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 C$ i  p0 z) z- s. ^such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 E0 j; [  K  p; `0 d3 `4 f, Nand stuck zippers.
- D. [4 q" P. v' W# n# VMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 `5 l% p( A( s% L* D" a7 tcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
* x* T. z5 {* l, ]  IMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
. L. }( Y/ n( }2 ?Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
7 R6 T2 q; [' p* t1 b  dhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
# ]8 ?, @3 q! P: TResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" [- n1 r1 n4 Qjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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# X3 y; S- S" ]0 X% a, Q! l3 M; p* sPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
8 Z- T* @8 ]4 A5 V5 q3 k3 uNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
/ w! ^; c% B' l& Z- G6 Gupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
! `3 g2 q" J7 W- d& ^, mcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
# l+ _0 F" n& }8 k9 ]. c& O, rOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ Q& s- G* n8 r7 @3 k0 W3 x# UGet this! You pay them!
$ w0 X& K. G( w! r4 z* J: AOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
8 ]: U/ R# v( ha balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
, B) g4 [+ B) `/ |of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
& R& w! q4 y$ R9 kWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
/ y$ t3 r2 ]9 L: [- XThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. y/ ~* M# K* Q7 |6 n6 I( V7 W3 |9 iyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ [9 v. `" N: d& r9 Ano tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

% G+ _& L. J% D+ e  Iunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.



* _( @. w# N; e0 [
/ H7 S# Y' Z" p: Q2 z* o* f** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
% D0 b: o0 d6 E8 A& Gletting them know they are appreciated
/ B; O4 m- H2 c( J! _for the fabulous job they do...
# p8 a& o8 i7 i) U0 @or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.