Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: w; f( x& V" s, f5 SDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! w" i6 w* b# h5 v6 ?Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
. ]% E6 p/ S6 m: W1 B( ^4 gvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* E8 \. B: ~1 O: \0 X% M2 ~and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
, }# [( ^1 m7 M" qSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
" M$ }, Y' m9 R" x# W4 @7 n8 jMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
  X$ P  B* }6 Z  e. ]' J$ |3 q* mMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
# [% A! q/ I- g5 Wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
; k4 @; C8 h" r7 @8 l( f5 Bcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! \: z  @' k- T2 |+ WMust assume final, complete accountability for
& c" H2 t* `- s' Z; f# uthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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( Q! J  \9 q$ g% l/ K' QPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
; I! L" U( N  h9 hNone.
( l9 g* ?4 ?2 I, _1 K! t' j" H, CYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
  [; w2 O3 r" pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
- ^* k" O3 T* @5 _& m1 v! tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


1 @  Z! |3 C- i* Z6 Y; H' d* _  ~PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

( `* j1 V1 {( _6 v" _WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
# `+ [; K7 l; }, e* G4 KGet this! You pay them!
/ F4 S( `5 a  _  kOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
+ o( F7 `$ V9 Z+ p* E0 X& Gbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" P: L% o' u7 g  _, }4 ~no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

3 H2 T' O5 F& P4 {for life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
8 R# i. V) o6 _- K2 u0 efor the fabulous job they do...
& {: v* Z3 I2 P+ r" V! Eor forward with love
, i; _# A% U6 t' q6 Cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.