 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 7 s) g/ b- {4 I, | B
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa7 t7 K) L8 t1 } Z1 \4 ]
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
7 L$ _7 r$ d7 ?4 N) mLong term, team players needed for challenging,; w9 O( U' | {$ p# }, q
1 r# c) A/ h$ U! zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. $ L& X4 v% w% n
Candidates must possess excellent communication
3 \ [8 B$ B& E2 n8 [and organizational skills and be willing to work
2 K1 K. B/ m2 T8 ~2 b ?5 Pvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 2 X9 R$ h. E4 ^
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. # j* D; X7 j# A* d
Some overnight travel required, including trips to , m5 f* l% c+ ^6 A% h: {
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
8 L) s/ O" k6 B! \7 p9 L; yendless sports tournaments in far away cities! & @ j+ V, s& p Z! O& A
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
6 V. q; D; {' ]9 i- a( U4 L5 \Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:- d- I4 M& F4 t
The rest of your life. 8 k1 A9 F1 E1 q& E
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% [4 I# l5 x, m$ a! S5 o6 muntil someone needs $5.
, C, }& u, I1 S/ ]# j- Z r/ m! f2 ~. IMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. * s6 _' \8 m& s$ n* P
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* }9 s! k: `3 W$ U, w% C; Dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 ^9 r0 w8 _% j( E; F C+ e; S2 @3 _. {in case, this time, the screams from / q/ x! Z1 j1 Y2 ]* \) G
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. , a; d* A1 i- m1 [% G
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, ) y9 Q" z5 i( v2 `3 T. Q7 u
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets + C# |( m& [, v3 A
and stuck zippers. ; U" [: @3 @# z
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( }" z. K0 X: wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' Q: L/ M4 q0 I- Z) TMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 B# [+ K1 q" t% g9 }0 SMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ [( N/ M" M" o% F6 Man embarrassment the next. + g0 u+ B! @/ }* i# I& l# x
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 9 k+ j7 M+ A' I' |* G2 m: F
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' B" g2 B6 e! E0 ?: ~: bMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 7 m- j; v7 V. }
Must assume final, complete accountability for 4 }7 H9 Y, o: z2 }
the quality of the end product. " R0 B& R5 R) [& d9 ?) b- z, S# A4 x
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and # Y( M% t9 F; q) W/ C' J A, }
janitorial work throughout the facility. % Q/ i9 a; N2 g0 e9 b% ?
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
, Q6 T. Q/ n$ i" y, I9 SNone.
8 J r7 Q; F3 c$ Z' SYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 Y. w+ f8 C' K: i* G; ?without complaining,constantly retraining and
8 u' f$ C( e y3 E6 j8 Zupdating your skills, so that those in your charge , M/ `$ O6 i2 I3 e- m9 E$ r. s$ r
can ultimately surpass you.& m2 w2 B4 M5 x+ ^
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 5 y, m. m$ W8 k
None required, unfortunately.
/ B! V8 R' Q+ q* I* U5 ^$ f/ VOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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! e d* c" U$ b$ H7 u+ H5 ?/ aWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
/ D- W* K1 y! {1 a8 _ c9 ~" F3 B1 eGet this! You pay them! 0 c. t5 T5 J$ M7 w" J3 }+ A( z
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. - X$ v7 R) \5 Z5 L/ G# ]5 T9 f2 G# `
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because " ?2 s* B$ y% s6 T0 I' c7 L! Q
of the assumption that college will help them 3 A3 Z2 C/ Z, i0 S
become financially independent. & v$ I/ y7 ?+ T# q$ s
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 q( ?0 I9 c1 B$ ]The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
- M8 G8 Z( [2 U* S* Byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: - }9 I( u5 `9 I( [
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
8 U% F+ u5 q! E; Xno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and . q h. ?' M8 o+ [2 A' q
no stock options are offered,
K, A F O& `: t$ s- xthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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3 X# a" A+ B, o- M2 t( Cunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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0 p1 t# P0 a# u0 }for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **2 u0 I5 C) f; H( X3 |2 u4 f' O
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 4 G: w6 m8 f( x- b8 F9 `
letting them know they are appreciated
3 r3 M# U* _# I) ofor the fabulous job they do...
2 T0 |( E+ a/ @' h9 i' qor forward with love
# R' g8 }) t Q1 Gto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
