Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
# e) j& k# |- b) \& D( @Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
, K6 v' ], g1 l# i2 m3 BDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


- Y7 G3 k1 N1 D" ?/ V$ Q2 EJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 ?! R: C# D* w* N2 Vand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
, i# z3 r7 {4 R! ]' s, {Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# D  \8 J0 `7 P$ cendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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% v0 O# o' Q  Q1 W& I7 XRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ g+ u! r8 D) U( n$ q; r8 Q, o/ D* ?5 }until someone needs $5.
: c* {) O) u5 `; AMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 a- g3 _1 }, E# f4 }8 R. c6 hand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
7 H) H4 v0 U# {3 [- D2 i7 LMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
* Z/ u" w+ R  ~and stuck zippers.
/ T+ |+ V. T# R6 v. v  LMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
& M2 v% F5 f$ z4 \' n2 wMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
, U/ [$ f" b0 _& ?+ NMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
; Y+ ?) C) v# S1 R4 _9 Qan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
* [! I6 O8 z4 h1 m( Ehalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
* @7 \; W$ J* q) m5 N4 T6 hMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. A+ _6 Z3 q/ I' s' M* tMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
; _3 K/ s- R3 b7 ~Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
0 _$ n! D3 x5 }9 y, Q' ONone.
5 l5 Q* b/ i- r. V: W  W% I2 I. c% sYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
* m( @# i* d/ Kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
8 R6 i) ?8 r" _& y) T& J5 cupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
+ |. ]) c9 m1 A% Q8 f; j" I# ucan ultimately surpass you.
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2 B6 p1 v# i  t; Q5 l+ UPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
+ |; ~1 b* ]! I, n9 JOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! r; S% U0 ]; [7 b) L) E: dof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
9 k) c8 k2 k& i- ~7 ^9 MWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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& t* |4 ^  i9 n/ Y! x' m# oBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ `, R& L8 x0 k; }* @4 M: `' Wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
% |3 t1 K, J' {. Q5 bthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
. Y" l2 a* z3 t
5 U- W8 H! Q+ V" Zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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% y" {1 ~: n( x: b2 r# U
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


- b1 ]) R7 Z% K% ]' z; f" {
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
- v, l  ]  ^) tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.