Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
5 T7 i( x! L5 B* v* k2 OMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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1 j  a+ `7 R8 L% s% AJOB DESCRIPTION:
2 y3 Q" m( v& jLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
/ K( a: w; a# d; X! ~: T5 L6 g" uand organizational skills and be willing to work
0 v( z( e1 k5 |8 c8 v5 _variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 c: |7 d8 F5 Z5 \2 vSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 S( q0 c* H/ V% Gendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
2 d* M3 E, {* N/ K( A$ t# BTravel expenses not reimbursed.
5 \1 }5 m8 G; F3 {" O$ B' F6 T& }# C% UExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
9 k/ C1 [' k- s' d2 LThe rest of your life.
; t) k7 w3 H8 e% kMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ ~7 h0 ^; X* \) f) C( U' e5 L" Buntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  ^: j4 P5 {5 y9 S; A$ L) N5 JAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
  @# n( p* E- t  Y$ C) Sin case, this time, the screams from
3 v/ d' v! }3 _the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
- G: [3 z! D6 u3 a' Z- oMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# z, m9 e. z6 |4 Q- qand stuck zippers.
4 U+ [9 G. o$ V2 iMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
6 I6 s& Y$ M: J8 x8 E+ y( U$ ]coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
; a; T: K( I% M8 |9 FMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ b) D' U3 g" _1 \an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ e- k2 K" i6 i+ x* q7 ^half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
) N) E' ~  X# k) uMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
, A3 C: C: ^# c  H& Y4 BMust assume final, complete accountability for
& O7 L" `) K1 }. [! f# \) Ythe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
! U8 G+ E7 R5 ], [janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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' K+ x/ V4 \0 L+ yPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
& F0 p$ k8 m/ u/ qNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
; _/ H! E9 L$ r9 v, Pcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
* Q& T6 p( p) I1 _- ~0 i9 G: vNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

$ \5 d5 H+ z) J" e/ R7 XWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
& E. `  {' w. o, ra balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& z* u' P6 o+ y% `) ^of the assumption that college will help them
8 v9 t# x  f3 K3 `& X: _become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
- u: J, Y: ?% r2 V. m0 F: vyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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8 K) @6 s* E$ X, ?BENEFITS:
7 g8 R; V+ I5 g5 Q/ e$ B8 AWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

: E4 S. m, {7 N5 {& z: [unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

4 ?; j& _8 y6 {" V& x5 j7 U5 hfor life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
2 W, l" d) s# x9 `7 w0 o. B0 n) Ito anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.