 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma ( I! x0 B2 M/ }
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa$ n% d5 q, K! w7 U. ]( f
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6 R& V+ P$ u/ e/ nJOB DESCRIPTION:3 K& H* A0 n" T! m2 L o, W
Long term, team players needed for challenging,6 \8 P. S/ ?: ~' M% l p+ j7 O
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
4 A( X; ]; \- C* d8 G1 R, t$ \, pCandidates must possess excellent communication . W2 J# U+ X7 C: j% L
and organizational skills and be willing to work ) A- x" w7 {8 r; U& M X
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends # W: V6 J5 F U1 c2 G. `9 G# N
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 3 m8 n2 a* X7 z0 P. \4 I# K8 ~) M
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
|- o) U+ p# a, i$ N+ ]7 f% i# l% Dprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and ! W+ ?8 s* A& [- k0 D
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 1 B, ?4 R- T8 r
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
5 G: a+ Q: w l J4 B3 V% `Extensive courier duties also required.
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0 D+ l! ^- }! v. bRESPONSIBILITIES:
* M! A- [0 s" F F0 \The rest of your life. 6 ^. j8 G. _, ]5 z4 E; Z9 V
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ' q2 x* Y* j; ]) {
until someone needs $5.
! n# f% Q: x+ M' i! S6 hMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ k8 z; s8 j& bAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 1 i3 b! ]$ D, l' o
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat ; |/ K& \' N6 N1 \! W
in case, this time, the screams from ! |$ ?+ E: N( f& r" Z0 o* h W
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 0 U9 h) r% K, {+ |
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
- M, J$ W6 H4 v. C- N( @' f: Asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets " G4 F N2 r$ \+ @4 W+ J* w
and stuck zippers. 2 W; b* `1 s2 O" F9 X* e
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and - }, d& S3 T0 j! z, I+ B! i2 {; w# f- I
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. . S/ m7 _) q+ L ?7 p
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. & L" o3 W% h {- O$ m! d) T2 B; |
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
0 k, T" ` a4 Z7 Van embarrassment the next. - L" I6 [% W1 n" U
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
t) X/ S5 B, Phalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. * @$ B2 l% U7 J/ u. v8 R
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. " H( h2 B( ] f) ^- q
Must assume final, complete accountability for * `6 H0 J) P( E4 {8 \
the quality of the end product. : B- I/ v( I$ b
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and ! Q1 K2 w' r9 u, p) C. M! K
janitorial work throughout the facility. / o/ n T- i3 A2 C
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:) E5 N% q! b( d5 w2 R3 C
None. 0 q- T* h; j% M3 }
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
' r# O' b! M3 M# ], d5 D% U7 |+ uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
; k6 C; c: E# Jupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
+ i& P) K( }& R1 Vcan ultimately surpass you.
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8 |+ e2 Q5 E, T0 h8 ?PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ; Z3 D( t$ M( q, \0 ^3 [
None required, unfortunately. 5 S+ M) b2 e6 y+ n
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. ! U$ e5 ] U3 ]. P" _
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: : X3 t* f& ?" \7 x6 X4 `
Get this! You pay them! $ z9 n5 Y& k- {
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. + s; O; Q# ^% v2 c% Q
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because / w/ k' X' n' v- v4 P! o
of the assumption that college will help them
3 a/ r2 t4 s) q& ^become financially independent. v5 ~2 N) y% r9 y4 v0 i
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
9 Y4 r9 y( ]% b" TThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that , T6 |. f {& v( O/ P4 m2 V9 y
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. & @5 w0 Z( a3 @3 h7 J, E
, A4 S. r% |8 a d: `BENEFITS:
/ P5 O( p+ v" }/ L4 yWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
3 q, S# Y; t/ H% H7 p) K( Cno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 {+ H/ R0 U5 c( g: Qno stock options are offered,
4 @: O/ u b! c: n/ J- K! M& Fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses ! Y: K$ M8 s, l4 ~5 Y
8 l; _* d5 R# [8 c# N1 hfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **) K, D8 X v, G$ K9 a
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* T5 ?" H; M' C5 ?1 L, xForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
6 A* A3 K/ ]& N; }$ w% Hletting them know they are appreciated 8 q. u6 b4 W& {( ^3 k
for the fabulous job they do...
d4 L$ |$ {! g* Nor forward with love % |) [! N* R' |9 ^4 E
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.# O5 J) ^% U: n" G& W$ T. x+ E
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
