Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

8 R: p1 U- z& y/ |permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
- y* J0 J( v3 t! G/ Pand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: q" v4 r' ~: |) O$ j1 Vand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 |2 ?. d/ s, c; e+ W3 Xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* ~* e+ I! I, O' FTravel expenses not reimbursed.
1 U+ }3 D; _; D8 ], oExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
1 [1 T6 s5 b; v" C- cThe rest of your life.
) W' I  n  m7 i8 j/ P( z- ]Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
" ~% B8 t2 ]6 j7 N) sMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 K5 w) b1 v8 K0 Q7 vAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
0 z% C9 p, N" o4 t9 ein case, this time, the screams from
% ]9 n/ @4 D) t/ y* w6 Fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
/ Q7 a5 Q7 a  ^% v' DMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' t) h- [, w* K$ Oand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& ], P  ~- R* X6 p( X. [coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
6 m3 Q" H2 v. o  f$ ]8 RMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
; B* v3 l% @0 c9 G, G# |# ?an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
+ H' j$ W1 {3 X2 V" d: k0 X2 MMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

0 M. o2 y. q% J" IPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
5 |0 T- t$ O" X& O" V7 d# r$ _None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


# O& I( o& Q, qPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
, i: w  n: h  Q1 R; kOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 g: N. ^/ j  u& D. Z1 |Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
1 |3 Z/ D) _1 o) p' b4 G4 Ya balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
+ z6 F2 I- O8 g) wyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
3 X' m+ z/ c& F2 rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* T$ ?  b1 J* B1 O* S; O- D9 Ano stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

2 N- ^1 e9 S4 [# m9 E3 Vfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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4 f& U3 P3 d4 G9 MForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 |& U/ A4 k7 ~0 K3 Mletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
" M/ U8 v8 @# ]" sto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.