Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
. t9 o# a2 r+ Y5 O3 _# y8 QMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

% U; N- V* k: H: p% m8 a+ {$ apermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
  _" n9 k1 D) @  hvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, W- t3 e$ ?3 ?/ }9 d1 land frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: {1 B: `1 E4 V# xSome overnight travel required, including trips to
5 K0 R5 n$ n0 w( w1 Z/ F: w' Z, u& jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
( S) o9 d$ ~+ `+ e9 |. }. fTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
- e: f: s4 S6 |- s+ D. R: R# J" c9 AMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 c7 }7 Q; }! s( n' V4 nin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
2 k- k" a  X# p! J4 P0 G# KMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 M1 w, x4 o: X0 g/ q2 wand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 m" V* y7 q0 ?6 ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
/ q; M. E+ e9 C  KMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  }! |1 U7 Y0 ^3 s- _. `% |( C" AMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
! M0 a* l( d. O, @% W- lan embarrassment the next.
9 t1 Q" I+ l3 M  R7 R, wMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
+ ?3 A' x. }' \7 c0 AMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
9 s' P& |8 x. E# J8 @+ MResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, {! z5 P( @/ R; U/ t, y1 [- Xjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
+ I% l3 D( X$ D- wNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
% t5 R# f- K* n7 S+ K" e& |" M" t# ^updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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8 N) I. F' \2 |WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
9 c; I# Z0 r; h  [. ]" ha balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
, g; f% z8 d" e7 \/ Y0 u/ w  [The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 W1 f4 z7 ~8 c# i& h( Nyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
3 V9 ~) u. A% J& q9 V
1 f: K+ C# M) x: [BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
' V( I# l5 C' \# X3 _6 u- lno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
, k8 B/ N0 T7 T6 Lthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

2 n& k# s0 i/ W) W/ G) E1 cunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
+ s, G$ W& c2 v  U  wfor the fabulous job they do...
/ [( C5 l# J) D, I& A0 q- T5 {! nor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.