Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
0 q5 i/ g- u% Y) X7 Z8 |Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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4 \6 t2 c- r! m$ a5 aJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" N" o' y: z" sCandidates must possess excellent communication
  O. M; w! n4 y! u& ?$ @and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
, c5 R/ M$ r9 G4 OSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
" }/ d; h) U- @Extensive courier duties also required.
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4 E- r, Z4 x' h6 k' D+ jRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
) r+ _% n, X' ZMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% o8 C. @0 K6 C" t, d+ K: ~7 Auntil someone needs $5.
! n  M' W' K- t) p. ?7 K5 r& z, AMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
) A) i, i: d" `+ k) @( Y4 @and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' q* @* N7 m8 y- o. Fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
7 @! S) ^+ L4 N2 _& y. L8 @Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
3 Z5 ^3 @# j2 g0 Y$ {coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
5 c8 o, x4 [. O6 L$ rMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  A# b. r7 G! B8 `, |. wMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
- Y) U, t/ C0 ^9 R, d- nMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
2 u4 M; n! K: Q" e) }  UResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
; N; ~- N( p6 ?$ @janitorial work  throughout the facility.

, P- |' v. z) ]POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
; G8 c; W- n# h+ w# }2 |None.
* E+ m3 P# J/ H4 f! ^% h. pYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
* V4 g! N7 Z9 @/ Mwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
5 ]% X: m: }+ k5 w  Y0 n2 \5 z: ~updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


& u8 s, M& z" @( Q3 UPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% H7 ?9 C/ s( T( Z' yNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

6 D1 c0 H- w- w# YWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 o. G+ z; d6 L4 SGet this! You pay them!
; s& P( ^! E! H8 oOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
4 d, Q3 I6 O0 U" @( r3 Q8 TWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
* |" h7 P! ?3 X: ]The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
# k7 S+ b2 U2 ^# Kyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: b( b6 W% R: b# M( T9 Tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

. U; ]# p4 |5 D+ |* ]8 d$ Punconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.




- P) ?0 I( r% E, n- C** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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. T* `6 C6 c( n5 b+ ~& r% K
5 f) w( }2 ^3 c! ~- A# M, I& rForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
5 j* a# e6 Y1 |! L# M+ @# F" ?) yletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.