Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 L" |7 F1 W' z7 gMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
8 z3 F" k3 i/ uDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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% P  d: k% z6 v% d9 e* r, ~% FJOB DESCRIPTION:
7 ^) c4 E/ u- ^3 `1 v% z5 WLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
- d5 B/ h/ c0 p9 B) @% Oand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* t% n# X0 s0 g5 H- F% n$ hSome overnight travel required, including trips to
( }" q; U. g4 e3 S8 @) e9 wprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
# z2 i0 t2 y& A$ k6 |3 eTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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+ u' B$ H  O/ iRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
, x( d- J% S# LMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 j( r; f' c' a" J" ^& X: k& Rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
( n3 B) \% D; |" qin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" x* H5 f6 `3 a$ [4 uMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
) s4 l4 y' |6 b2 @  Tsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
1 {1 c, N) Q' g7 z& d+ ^and stuck zippers.
0 F# m3 r0 j* u4 b& h% U. FMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
+ W/ a  L. I. D: G2 o' L2 Ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" w! ^8 u& G) h4 DMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
5 g8 X0 F1 N( zMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ S: w8 u4 q8 a0 m8 F2 a; V0 {/ {half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
% X- r$ u# g/ ^% A& V) \" FMust assume final, complete accountability for
9 X5 V; N+ D8 O# ~) p/ D# s. B, Lthe quality of the end product.
, [: @: E# |6 e2 H1 H' [Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ ^7 A2 f# Z3 X; {) ?1 |janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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8 j5 K6 Z/ O; w/ c# H9 J: r  ~6 wPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- @2 P8 d* d% C" _None.
5 {3 O- N5 q; S$ Q3 aYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
5 ?7 l5 G, t! R, Zupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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3 @2 _8 Z  _4 E1 IPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
2 A$ f4 U% z  d9 qNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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$ y- D' |6 Y2 i: p+ C3 _7 dWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
7 p: m6 S# j, M1 oOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
# R4 Y1 k0 {4 `$ Ibecome financially independent.
# ~+ y. s+ {$ L" G( ]+ tWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
. x# n2 F! O1 Z. x* u% bThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

- l5 I6 z  u; V4 ?0 l0 ABENEFITS:
: o$ i) D, m" t" K- c" `While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% C/ @  X; g1 W+ [3 Vno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
6 |; @" f& j0 K" }! [) Rno stock options are offered,
0 |& ?( R, I, p# c' `1 k* hthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
8 O) a$ b1 U# d$ C0 g
$ }8 Y# F  T& `  M: Bunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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* w& M8 _0 z/ d** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



* N  ?! R) H) d4 H4 c6 MForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
" d! \0 m& c+ cor forward with love
+ P: Y  B7 C8 |6 p3 hto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.