Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
6 }# D7 Z( y) |. A& hDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
6 K9 ^. G% E) {0 `9 ]: |4 kLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
. j) }6 U8 i/ [1 f; k7 j! DCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
! M- a( u/ q: C  A* A& Lvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 I" q6 q; g( T! h: }+ B+ \( {) J# mSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
: S9 O! Y( D) L1 g7 l) l: ]Travel expenses not reimbursed.
' p9 A& L. m8 J2 c  g  E$ h( vExtensive courier duties also required.

' k5 {5 u2 o7 [) ~4 [$ Q  m+ iRESPONSIBILITIES:
6 y" e+ d% g6 m4 `5 z2 cThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
5 W" y0 z: C  R0 W8 a$ ~in case, this time, the screams from
" h+ h- o/ _, w6 Z' Rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ t) a/ g  V  J+ {! d/ Rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# F+ m4 L9 W. i$ xcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, d# }- S  @7 O1 [7 N4 f' Ban embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
4 C2 a9 R+ J/ q0 i7 Shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
. _& w' A2 e% F2 J! zMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) j" f/ r6 v! u" z' x+ c, M2 o  aMust assume final, complete accountability for
7 r3 }5 l6 s7 u) S0 Rthe quality of the end product.
6 V. N- V0 ?6 y- y0 GResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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) u+ r3 x6 t8 N/ h) l8 U! oPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
& \/ i$ Y8 l+ \" Y% |+ V# [None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
% g) ]  ^9 }6 T" ?/ f* zwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
. q# C" ?* M2 L) K3 g4 |updating your skills, so that those in your charge
& B# P( G$ m0 N  l2 s+ \can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
3 I  r1 G; @4 a* T# w* B1 f2 sOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
3 ?0 `- W6 k* \! gWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
. q5 R. m, m; h0 h# ]( r7 }9 nThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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( |1 X, h8 n' S. d4 \2 TBENEFITS:
# K& Y( r3 _: U% ^5 U3 d" n$ TWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
0 L, K5 U% Z  Q; Bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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7 c- i. q2 r. R. |1 [6 kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
/ a7 a' E5 n  ]; @( p1 i) l1 Ifor the fabulous job they do...
( j  M) r, v! e, N% R* ?2 M" Cor forward with love
& G% O5 O3 R1 H( v3 f$ ^to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.