Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
2 ~9 ^( v" S( u0 E2 h$ B& U& q) sMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
; L% a* K- P+ u) O5 e, GLong term, team players needed for challenging,
% D! t) O  x& V1 d
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
! P9 A$ P5 r4 O' q7 _9 A+ Kvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
9 m1 L4 J, H4 Z3 M- z  r4 T( fand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
$ X. B0 M3 d  g! Tprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ R; h$ U  x2 G* A  U1 Xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; U9 d6 n5 k# X' [" D9 {0 PTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
- i! a; N: `& O5 J6 s- p1 ?Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
2 C0 A) ?9 b( P- p6 oMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 ~% G$ f& Z1 j" iAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, R6 i$ {: O: mand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
$ C& u2 E, \' `4 |2 q, r6 d) uin case, this time, the screams from
' c/ c' u1 i* m" Z; c* |the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ L4 K9 S9 f5 C% |4 esuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
+ z2 m! ?. Q& |& Lan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
: A9 T1 f: \2 Q1 G) M' W' a' khalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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( u6 H; o9 V+ i4 vPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 U2 ?9 P1 X' Y5 {) WNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
: e4 z; _# C" e3 i4 c( Tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


- [1 \: s5 l% i* ?7 cPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
0 ~6 d7 _6 U( A8 v4 Z% uOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
, o! Y9 \9 m# P+ J; `. v8 hThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ \; R5 l* C4 O  nyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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% }; y0 e  F% S0 w/ B  \BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
4 m+ @4 M! @* G2 P8 z0 ^: [9 Lno stock options are offered,
. L3 l- B# {4 Y; athis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

* y" l$ w1 s! Q5 O8 bunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

/ g3 I; B" I! nfor life if you play your cards right.


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+ H* f0 [+ v/ e9 d: c9 Z
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


/ H* ~. U0 u. S0 h: V1 A8 n" e# [
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
: b, B8 g- |& {. Dfor the fabulous job they do...
* b$ Q) b1 m  [4 v; X2 d" S% Lor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.