Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
" n2 P, @* N! M( {; x" V- u( @Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


5 C3 ~! M2 L% D7 }JOB DESCRIPTION:
! q( W# |* b4 e$ ^- {& l; A. dLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 t: R  H! u/ l0 CCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) t) O& S4 ~9 \+ N" i0 V1 ?( P% @and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, l# E5 U4 X( g! j9 K* C! NTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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6 y' |: s7 z. R5 t8 @7 _RESPONSIBILITIES:
' g- L: [$ K" o) hThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
8 x( Z7 W# v, Y  ?0 W, ^' b2 Kuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
9 [  h5 k; I( R- Jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
* W; w8 \: q$ a+ b( w. h6 g; Jthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
7 M8 s- y$ m7 o, K" s+ |( p0 dMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
. R1 P* p% }5 `/ N2 k  S: qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 A/ e5 A" U9 g' }& n, T2 mand stuck zippers.
" r/ u" I9 q% g& WMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
3 J: {9 q) ?/ w1 N; a1 w/ k. F$ {8 dan embarrassment the next.
$ F; r/ V& L4 D8 z: eMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
. w' c5 F( M' kMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
3 c& F0 p( |. F1 CMust assume final, complete accountability for
: m4 \1 |! A" Uthe quality of the end product.
2 h* k3 |1 |" a/ b, BResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. a/ g6 ?- F% @7 u. [7 ]6 Xjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
$ G3 h# E7 t" G+ `, F$ fNone.
! ^2 N% s8 P- o8 XYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
4 A5 q% c; G0 b! f- [without complaining,constantly retraining and
! o1 E4 h' u! Wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 f; S( b! F+ g+ I5 J- jNone required, unfortunately.
7 S4 J4 b* F& [+ `5 S. z9 UOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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  A, H. I  T( K/ z6 VWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 o' n" o7 U3 P' E: X0 i+ gGet this! You pay them!
0 I, S/ K  K0 b+ R' AOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 K7 C5 _, a2 S1 I4 s3 Z+ Hof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
, l* F( p8 t7 }1 y( a: [# D% f" nWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
. b9 f3 o: c& R5 DThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
$ N2 q* r* O7 S# u1 z$ PWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
, |5 c& ~' _  mno stock options are offered,
6 @3 R6 y, e8 b- ], `this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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& z% M; C! Z' X7 Pfor life if you play your cards right.
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6 U$ m0 b+ Y6 x4 {, {' s
5 O4 c/ L( g  }8 j" o** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
: U% ?) y8 D3 u  \( Zletting them know they are appreciated
7 h& r% ^/ g- ?: kfor the fabulous job they do...
# T$ s& X6 v- F% \$ xor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.