Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
2 N( T4 ]. A9 z  k% zMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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) ?+ ~7 z7 Q6 X( |JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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( A* c1 m3 }. E8 ~+ {) o8 e% f4 Ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
7 y+ |9 t4 H4 }  G1 ^3 h: |! P0 Vand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
9 @+ d( i& d! ]4 \4 F/ Y: c0 Tand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
7 c5 H3 h0 l+ g: LExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
4 n0 E! I3 N' T& R: {' B5 _2 VMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ V0 `# f, }0 l# p& funtil someone needs $5.
7 Y) ?2 ^/ L: C" w/ K; R9 JMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 b- Z( C3 L' \  j" dAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 H" i% l' l! e. e5 sand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
' [" w4 {' @1 M, R1 y7 k" zcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 a. y! Y4 q) q: V; XMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
% \+ \$ X$ U, ~" F' J6 ]an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, e0 w8 Y9 a7 O. n8 `half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' Y2 U9 U" L$ m5 y. R: `- X4 r+ JMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
/ |4 F: C: Q' B4 N' ]the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
$ ~/ [1 a+ O3 n3 A( x8 wYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
' M+ i2 y( \6 k/ c% v1 @0 fcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; Z. U% C/ Y- ~2 I9 O- q3 rGet this! You pay them!
- {3 p. e$ d" \, BOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
8 d! \8 g4 O) L5 Y9 lbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
$ c. a2 ~3 u( g/ f: ^you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

! o/ A8 R2 u. l; a9 a! i# EBENEFITS:
% f0 O; ?+ j! V! O& vWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ _4 k2 d, @1 x5 K* i+ }no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ Q  X: G9 q9 s" `% j/ bno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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. n: ]8 o3 V) g: F/ e3 Lunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.




. B, r- U+ r- A! |& o- C** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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) B" H, F% x$ e, g& TForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
) l2 p6 V7 W7 V$ |( ?+ \for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
, t6 z; q  C& M  j! j% T$ tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.