Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
' S4 A% ~( b! |. W& EMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


" K8 X0 z8 y( q1 X# wJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

! F2 w. W8 A; L6 {/ Upermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
8 ^9 d; D9 J) [- R5 s  S4 Fvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) @* v  k2 o) m+ S* r, f, f" Dand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" \1 V3 g0 Y& V) V. w( Q1 uendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
* d2 W/ V0 T: c( n0 eExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
& o- r! B" K+ v2 R& L; OThe rest of your life.
' U# E# V+ S1 w6 |9 }Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ q4 j9 h- A0 U- c) y  Juntil someone needs $5.
0 |" ]' l, K2 S% m! Q4 XMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
) f' Y# s  J9 ~0 W' A' w0 yAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 h- d/ e' c! B& w: Vand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 q* n" Q, g8 `: f" H, EMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ W6 i, d4 h# _3 Isuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
  M6 h4 D9 w0 ?5 o0 {& `Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
0 X  J7 p# [& s4 {8 ?' f& w$ gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) X7 D/ a, ^% t$ V) `* Q1 hMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" N( S/ Q9 E4 N( z' d0 z" F6 S2 IMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
+ i+ B" v: q2 k: M5 _half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
1 z5 z) x7 h, x! Vthe quality of the end product.
! I4 ^( n9 t" }% x3 }' wResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
% I4 P' L4 G  `: R
1 k- P5 o* w5 ^* K0 [POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* e1 g) {* b- e" Q5 t) s2 P1 YNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
1 o) i/ Y; {' C+ ?6 h) Jupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


: A( s& [/ G) b+ ^/ bPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
- S! Z5 r4 W8 y4 J+ {6 M5 INone required, unfortunately.
2 s" L  W/ E: H$ ^. MOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
% R1 {+ G- m0 i+ va balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! ^7 o1 |! j7 F% z: B! O# Oof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
9 t( m5 e6 V( e  H0 IThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
- L9 C. |9 q+ Z- Vyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
) u+ w4 O+ x* K/ V4 F( y
BENEFITS:
& c, d& n9 n! }% p" v2 D( r; gWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

+ a2 \( }" X* wunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
; }6 N. k7 F. s
# I0 L0 v6 |( ^0 s- Ofor life if you play your cards right.
2 O& I- c! u( U$ J) T, \/ @


$ Q  W/ a" O* K8 B
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
/ G# I! C, f# Z


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" i6 |, A- v$ J+ Oletting them know they are appreciated
5 `7 g# ~+ r5 \( L+ J$ Y( qfor the fabulous job they do...
* X+ \' r' h' c$ i) Lor forward with love
" L! D6 R0 }# e, T# r6 Bto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
7 J8 k* ~/ w9 Z2 t# ?: R/ c2 ^- B

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.