Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
, p' Q: {7 A. JMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


( J; Q4 g1 Q7 I+ wJOB DESCRIPTION:
& ~- ~" {) L: Z( w8 X% eLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
; q4 l* J, \) lCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
6 ]$ \' G4 [+ Q& u/ d$ e3 hvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& L/ M2 @5 d: h' S- [( x1 a7 A2 GSome overnight travel required, including trips to
( v& U$ S- }2 Tprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
$ ?; P2 H' x! V, {9 PTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
/ Q; }1 }1 t* Z/ r
RESPONSIBILITIES:
; n6 k' t2 u5 @) I& HThe rest of your life.
) y5 O& W  K) kMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
" E. n& m! [) r8 v( Zuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
! [7 i5 m: N4 F$ [0 OAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
0 R% F+ y; Q2 Zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
) k3 ?# [& N) g5 d# iin case, this time, the screams from
# j8 U6 G' a% |- Wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
. T& w% Y+ v% U$ g& vsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 C- Q* C8 U4 x. ~5 F! a2 R  p: p0 _an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
3 m2 [# b9 D9 a0 J8 z6 O2 Tthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
  A# v- l, o1 Q2 V6 [5 IYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
3 v$ k9 o6 o7 M1 o' W; i- ?
+ X+ g$ R& o  S
3 k" h2 b* C2 c# J, X: D# h" ^PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
0 k2 V; T8 R( _# E" `$ q. L) o0 g$ cNone required, unfortunately.
- A% o' v) I' w; p- o# HOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
4 g9 s+ B9 M0 R& P, l4 H! y
6 c! [/ ?9 M, p* F6 p5 K* sWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
8 C- I2 \4 z% qOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 b$ D. B3 h1 M& D& b- O: Yof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
% ^. `( O! t- p5 T: ^4 mWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
8 P8 u* j% p* p: jThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
. Q5 a4 a" I4 y! B$ ~8 m( M: d
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) a+ O& R" k- f4 {) lno stock options are offered,
0 _0 o; x) p. h9 R3 |this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
) n; j1 U9 S0 Z, A/ T
; k% P: q5 Y; b8 O5 }- L! Runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

5 h, t7 q& J$ s3 l' g* y, B
4 ?* F  T8 n# g
- l- }8 @3 A! t; i+ ~0 Y. _3 t
0 e; l% U( s* g" J& h' \% s! N** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

. X- b: w( [) i6 K
8 @2 D* x. C0 \
3 X, K$ k6 b) {) R; S8 I( uForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
& L3 X- F* a; W7 Xletting them know they are appreciated
" P5 f0 w( v, `& @- U) b! o/ `for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
! L& ?( Z5 Q% l$ e7 p+ e4 ?* Ato anyone thinking of applying for the job.
" H" R: @4 n' d4 f

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.