Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
2 @! r* J9 S1 K, A0 G- WMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


; b  e' P) H& v5 YJOB DESCRIPTION:
2 {) I% P- i/ X- `Long term, team players needed for challenging,

/ r* b' L" j8 |% X- gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- q, E" f0 }3 v4 YCandidates must possess excellent communication
- k: Z9 P; o: b) x) i. P9 t" F8 Oand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
; r; R$ h0 T: oand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
$ M) R& M/ V( E6 zprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 U) L  [5 p* B' }# |6 f& qendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
" H# n# R; D. v3 m  n. F( BTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

  v, l& k. O. t3 q1 i0 V/ }RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
+ |, r9 ?4 ^5 f8 g* K5 ^( k1 iMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' d6 F' n2 K# y9 }7 m" s: Z  a2 Y/ @4 ountil someone needs $5.
7 F! @- R3 ]& |Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
! C( f% f; \+ L# k6 Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
3 m8 |9 f) [, Y( d" u8 j  RMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' [- ^( v, q8 u7 d- {; Zand stuck zippers.
) X. S$ U* o9 |" ^Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
' b. c% A7 H, g6 y8 \/ I/ Hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ }+ b; z$ [7 N" r4 ^Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
! v  S- e6 f% PMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
7 M6 b1 q" x9 {5 l* Chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
, H) |- Z9 K5 \4 D: [Must assume final, complete accountability for
( E5 v* B7 e5 ~5 c8 n( ethe quality of the end product.
8 U( B) b. e: I5 s+ v5 NResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
$ {1 l6 P* d$ ~$ vjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

# c. y4 q; i' f4 K) ?POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
+ ?+ a- H0 r$ W7 Z6 n7 V  u. iNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
/ y2 J' N& q& Z* Owithout complaining,constantly retraining and
2 Z& Z4 B7 U# d9 Kupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
' M5 b8 x$ K/ v% Z8 v: |; Gcan ultimately surpass you.
$ A0 [1 ~; @/ |% l# o; I- G0 b! o! d

6 A/ C; a4 v' a) w; A4 DPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
3 ]1 ?3 L3 ]4 ]2 A
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
8 a- V' K  i  e* B) ^4 qOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
- ~' i% o* }' p9 d3 O$ L0 Sa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
1 _1 k. X: J% p9 ~6 i9 XWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
' z8 |0 `+ N+ A0 _you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

2 t; K5 Y1 p6 H' ABENEFITS:
, j4 B  \9 ]: G) GWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
& y+ y5 T/ ?: ~7 d5 H2 x- P' @% b' |no stock options are offered,
! s4 L* _, o( w3 e- Q& X, Hthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
6 Y+ B8 M4 @2 ?& x. E  n
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

  N4 k8 E# ^# m. M6 zfor life if you play your cards right.

/ f8 e2 e. N, a0 ~2 n" }


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
2 p7 _. a6 t# R9 e8 ]" t

" u8 N8 q' \6 F) l" N, o
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.