Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
$ A2 f" p1 L1 t; x& x* e+ M
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
, K$ p4 X: x+ p2 SSome overnight travel required, including trips to
9 t# R* c- Z+ X, _' b$ mprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# I8 p6 T9 Q' N$ z1 x/ ]$ k$ E4 s  gendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
5 a- q1 d  {8 R4 d8 LExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
4 f: n6 Y. V  F8 L- z: |3 B% YMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% @& {; B5 @. funtil someone needs $5.
9 G: ?1 @" L1 O* K( bMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 {# s" ~$ o; _  _Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  ?- P/ p( x3 U; p* Sand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
7 Y' q: n- X+ W/ C4 p% Bin case, this time, the screams from
/ q2 J  Q9 A  t" J; P6 ethe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 e6 I, a2 o# MMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
1 R  _- o  R8 i+ c  L6 o, xand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ C# n* @% {) E4 X& Hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 v& `" Y8 u) E4 {" t! _Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# O  ]% m+ u( ?8 H" x7 Qan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
9 p+ ]  c- k2 c2 T. d* Zhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 D# I) p0 a9 q0 m4 cMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
) [+ [" W+ ^0 h" W' [, O; Q  {Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 Q  T# p8 Z) ~: I" D/ V) zwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
1 |5 L# a: N! R3 j" z: kcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
  ]1 P5 d. j3 f' p- l/ T' n% p" ?: k( z: yNone required, unfortunately.
* d5 J' g# h2 u  q. o: \" OOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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+ T' c# b  C6 vWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
8 T' e1 y9 O$ C. v: g$ R* J* B; Obecome financially independent.
' E9 ~5 ]2 n6 V3 g2 s9 A, yWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( l, j& t: H+ dyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
5 R# v1 J  b% f0 \0 R' z; c2 @While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
8 Y0 r9 T1 c6 ?8 d  N; u& L: S
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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% d9 V+ |: `, B) S** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
. w. d' B0 G& Wor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.