Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 d" q* Q: l+ P% ]Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

; B" T4 o. P0 ]# T& Jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# i/ W5 [4 b2 ^# b# S) _Candidates must possess excellent communication
% ^& i2 ^, f& n9 U/ w; X" land organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  x2 p5 m' p: q- s: Oendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
' p: u" Q% Q7 mTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
0 S( v1 |( i' L9 t( [: HMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' `7 b& _9 L5 {# Cuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
7 c, o6 R3 g( R( L% T6 C  ^9 vand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ p( _8 F6 |, s( e5 K1 rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
; c4 ]7 G8 o5 F# qand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% J; U: p, H8 h& T& `9 C% g6 x- icoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
( m- a( q/ q$ Q5 jMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
4 m" l3 l. {! j* fMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
& L# M/ V/ `: p3 X  SMust assume final, complete accountability for
7 I* F: d) N! z  Ythe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
+ A0 {3 _4 I5 Z4 D; }# @Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
$ J- w% p: `1 O( @% pupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
0 q8 R  t4 A" m; |; R+ wcan ultimately surpass you.

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- a# n& Q. ~8 i* {7 }/ ~: ~PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
, I2 u! r/ D: I+ t" kNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
% f- n$ l0 d% ]" GOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ k2 {9 R; b8 z$ E$ u% Q: aof the assumption that college will help them
5 s0 ~5 {5 |, K3 Jbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
) ?( k( g  P3 n: B/ ]# dThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
- n& M* g5 f. H. c4 J  Kyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
6 Y; T$ U3 J* _While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
9 k, F* B" l; A, G# g, Wno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
5 E  {) ]+ a% k9 V3 `+ v
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
( l5 u9 y5 {# y# B
for life if you play your cards right.
. B2 T( ~1 J8 R- ?$ I- l9 y
: e& H0 z3 M2 i2 L4 n8 `2 H
; t) t7 f$ ?7 y9 n& o, P

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

7 k3 b% G( n7 f% O  v

# v  i( I$ ^1 G) E$ PForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
' ^  \7 I5 b! _. X# g4 gfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.