Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
& g& S6 H) h7 CMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
9 W7 }* b' c3 [9 _8 z3 c$ w1 MDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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) X8 d$ \1 P( ^. }3 K& sJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

: u# V* m' i$ \6 d8 jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
5 w/ c7 e; _2 _/ d/ X, p/ Pvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
$ r  I% f. R# q! E2 X; B0 U' n+ Sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
! t( u* d8 F7 m8 T  STravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

9 ]6 ]; f& {  ~% A' o" B  fRESPONSIBILITIES:
2 _+ C9 {9 H6 Q5 |( q3 K: J  F8 ?! uThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
( l) R# y/ D% ~/ J: Q6 L! Auntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
, @6 b# ?1 B6 v- f. @; dAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
  a( U) D+ N& S. J# x3 a  fin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
& S7 e6 C& w& b; }  p; c' L" EMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
/ s/ K! Y# ]* o" QMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* ~& T  K0 j1 j5 X  Wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
1 Z7 k2 q4 i  @- M5 h% X/ FMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
3 x6 F' i5 i! S; U1 ^$ k! @an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. `) r9 y  ?, c. |Must assume final, complete accountability for
; d& j5 n2 Y. vthe quality of the end product.
" Q9 B% l4 H" t! d+ GResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
; y; O3 v6 K- Sjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

0 a- h* g# t4 h+ |) p2 HPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
7 w' y( `+ Q7 O2 |- \# Qcan ultimately surpass you.


$ s# \. z! }9 E8 j/ N+ Y+ d. xPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
  D# g7 j1 X( {) HNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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4 ~! U4 O: M6 c. w; }WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ x6 [8 _( h# O* ?+ X1 ?Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
( @; ?, `( [. ^1 w( Ca balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
6 i; `1 S) k* C" vThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 Z4 z! D# r( C( B. {& h' W$ ]/ o1 x; R* oyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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  }; k) F. B4 |9 I; e1 g3 iBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ \  @3 N3 E0 G0 Fno stock options are offered,
/ e+ a& Y5 s" R/ n1 @" r; Ithis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
" n7 S; ?, x$ g* S, z
for life if you play your cards right.


* Y: w, e. v! ~' J/ [$ g
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) J& J# I% W) _. j** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
/ N$ j3 ^( Z; z; }for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.