Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
, f& O+ t4 z' w! E7 D; @" s1 l( pMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
9 q/ h3 z' Y* IDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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/ o" `. ~( d$ a  X* P( a- m, K- xJOB DESCRIPTION:
* g# Z$ b  v. s  @7 p% @, \Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! d: X( a0 U+ }: `: ?9 JCandidates must possess excellent communication
6 E% N) h3 ]6 [! \and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ Q7 M5 t! C' E" Mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
; J* t! i8 _- R# @; y* fand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
0 A# q. C9 }! Q+ c, c% Vprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) [' y; N( W2 S: P, Q. Y$ R0 y6 r4 GTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
2 v5 t$ |+ B# ^4 {% m5 |) pMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 u, ^/ u' O- f2 vuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' v% R9 w- t8 O7 P' ?and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" t9 Z2 n- K# `" b; gin case, this time, the screams from
1 a& K. x( |: P+ o* bthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 N6 O% u9 r: Fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
+ g: |9 L; g8 M7 tand stuck zippers.
) }. X; a* S0 o3 _( J, IMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
3 |. w8 V: f0 Y3 T4 _( }" Gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
2 D- i3 \' |" E5 u2 {% CMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
( M* k+ F  {/ z* R0 l8 `0 C. ]Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
: J8 U& o, T7 t2 N- IMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
5 E# ?5 A' X# j8 Y( r9 z, |9 mResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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; e8 z0 J" ~, D% \; @POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
2 w* t5 i! p% f& ZNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
7 }3 q: G: {; P( v' Uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
6 [6 }" G9 m( _$ R( ucan ultimately surpass you.
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$ _) F. }& z# v6 oPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
, J( q. u( k4 w9 w" k  @On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
+ Z' |2 {3 l& f: z/ \( a$ A& g0 WOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
2 J3 o. r0 w6 I2 Z7 pa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 W# l; i6 ^( p- ?4 J( fof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
" C( U* ]# n+ q' k0 dWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
# L  a1 s% ?) J" g6 \While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
( k7 [$ M, E+ `" fno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
3 g, u6 I) `' ^# q* Othis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
% {; q/ R* P4 [' ~! e
% m. k% s) C/ nunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

0 }) L" L5 w' Z! `/ bfor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
: C9 Y' X" M- V) A  Y* Fletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.