 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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! k" Y/ n2 r; i4 UMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% B c" o' P5 t) @Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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8 e' p: B; M$ D, L# c9 rJOB DESCRIPTION:
3 E" C, K- R! j- A, e) WLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. ' c: s0 A9 F8 @* Y5 o: O- m
Candidates must possess excellent communication ) I/ I; R( Y# j2 L% x! F
and organizational skills and be willing to work + U$ q6 a% u" r
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: t z* a! k8 U4 M+ _' {and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. ' B0 ~0 M7 H4 ]8 q
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. p* i7 E8 [# I1 f7 Z" `. N* _primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
* M x. \' e! N* T Y+ dendless sports tournaments in far away cities! # F; m' @8 V& o( }
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
9 }. y' h5 c4 l1 x, v3 S& ^/ v* r: B, w- HExtensive courier duties also required. ) M; @4 c5 u+ M
2 `* S* Y" l+ P/ W+ O+ ?3 lRESPONSIBILITIES:# ^8 F1 J( a% y$ K3 r0 L& ?
The rest of your life. 8 D h! E3 {# E5 D/ o6 s% d. ^) }
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
}, z% n2 M6 Z, m6 wuntil someone needs $5.
3 v. r' s6 D4 y+ M+ p2 w f }Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
9 C5 M) J0 `! E# d8 O. @ A% r$ JAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule " l. ]" J$ e' H6 A2 o! f6 e
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 t% }9 n9 H3 g, m3 E, ^in case, this time, the screams from
, n! q9 V$ {9 d- ^the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" C- v5 a. w+ z* g/ y0 i2 t) o0 n8 `Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, - D* H ?, k) R( [6 i- S" r- o" l
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets $ Q' s- b% A5 Z
and stuck zippers.
' v R1 U+ {. QMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 i1 G0 D& t0 n4 pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. 4 H2 C. {& j z! h4 |5 i/ g* `8 w
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. & y" e7 ^) n! } T
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, $ o: j' O6 T7 E" p: c
an embarrassment the next.
Y$ y- z3 b6 e6 S- i6 f. _3 CMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a % |( ~# n5 j- Q, K! m% ~
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
6 m7 |6 y, C5 B6 i( b5 hMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 3 H4 P9 q/ C7 ]7 O3 Q1 E- u
Must assume final, complete accountability for 7 d& l& m# X0 x
the quality of the end product.
) K# p0 s6 A) N* C' C( PResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and U4 i* g+ _% ^+ L0 a" T
janitorial work throughout the facility. 6 r0 @0 j+ U6 T0 u
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:" ~4 g9 D% ^$ m: ?; T
None.
; u; G4 P ^( Q# [( KYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
/ y. X* |! k! }without complaining,constantly retraining and 8 H! m; G# T x; _+ ~
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
0 {) k( b h5 P$ M$ v- s6 ycan ultimately surpass you.5 R7 N7 p4 B' }1 @1 P1 n2 C
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( k1 L9 l3 \4 u/ c/ x% `5 J( O+ NNone required, unfortunately. ! y1 j# n! C+ u# W
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. & W9 q' B- }5 A U2 h! C
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: ' b1 A$ A" p6 I" n/ N
Get this! You pay them!
! w# w9 V+ C& T* oOffering frequent raises and bonuses. 1 j! f1 z2 V! D( `
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ l5 G( U3 S5 u" @* @5 `5 v5 vof the assumption that college will help them . ~" B! J7 D S
become financially independent. & ^% ?+ x# H7 }2 ]. _# y
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
: C& y: w- k: y) t. GThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 5 J7 S6 T* Y( L" g8 I" I2 G$ i7 b
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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: n4 ^. D' w: H, s! zBENEFITS: $ H7 I C( i+ W+ a, H+ G6 I7 z. f
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, . B/ D5 S$ k0 I
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
' O0 y$ G3 F3 Nno stock options are offered," p3 `+ z& E: v1 @7 v- ^$ y% z
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 6 I) i C) U! ]7 d( z" ^
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right., x( I1 _# _6 U1 l$ b8 Z) @ Y3 i
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **$ N. `' [7 F, j8 X* w6 Q6 Q* [
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, ' d' m) `, d) |1 u' b, i4 t
letting them know they are appreciated
. V' A4 N! i. `( ~) @for the fabulous job they do... + R! _3 T& C: d& ?1 W
or forward with love . M( K: `) H' m1 N/ C! u3 L! N) v& A6 v
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.6 P$ L' b0 H! F) i% J
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
