Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
* d  `9 c$ A& M+ j7 v- J' k8 PMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
+ t9 j4 f, \0 Z$ r/ ?) E7 G' P4 ]( p

0 g; R0 k& B" \! p) iJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

. z% r$ N1 O7 U. ~, ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
' e  r4 C9 [/ V7 F5 X( G4 v, C2 |and organizational skills and be willing to work
' g# X) ?' V* l2 g3 l/ g7 Qvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
; G. d& K( h4 x7 W$ Hand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
; R% c" ?/ e4 n: ^: Nprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
5 y! ^, z) ~* d- b: u+ LTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
0 w+ N% C" v& K' v& d* N* {& J
RESPONSIBILITIES:
* _; j( Z) N8 y9 o9 \1 Z; h& JThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
, c" k! y, \. w, d9 R$ R; r1 DMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
, V! O" k. X' C% K4 JAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
2 l% }) M+ N* }! Zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 {* z" f+ S1 v! n/ S/ zMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 ~  x' @4 G( Oand stuck zippers.
5 d: I+ R3 m  g5 U1 S0 r0 f0 R+ tMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 @0 Q/ X/ O/ A; w) {/ s  scoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  A# W7 m- v) r; mMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
( n) e0 r4 {4 Q9 K7 fMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 d( G' M1 B1 ^% T* lan embarrassment the next.
  |( J. @* C! P% t. j  N" m7 Y" tMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
9 ~, M: S6 }- {1 ~, _  H  @half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
. u+ d- Y4 N7 k5 |Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
  D1 h3 O/ V) B3 S5 \3 @3 JMust assume final, complete accountability for
6 ^: g) ]' h. A: E3 J+ B% \9 t+ ^the quality of the end product.
3 [* L+ `. ?* CResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 ?5 x2 t# o/ `janitorial work  throughout the facility.
& c# J' l3 t; @7 \+ E
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 [: |0 l  ]* ~; d6 zNone.
; L9 p1 n5 p- v4 ^6 u( LYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
0 O7 w; ?6 |) y# k7 Oupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
% T0 v5 r6 p; ucan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
' f8 J$ V8 e1 Z. E+ ^8 u+ sOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
3 H7 w+ ^8 c% }5 X3 G
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
! V4 ^, z) d1 VGet this! You pay them!
3 A9 l  u/ Q  W1 v8 _5 m" |# |Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
  W1 O( D) P, w* h1 E* Qa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
; l& s: N. e" b5 ubecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
! I7 Y' e0 f- w  _/ ZThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) }. e4 ]% C! I4 ^( S/ Z+ [you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
+ A  f: T" ^2 P4 b
BENEFITS:
9 c  u! ^5 s$ lWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
+ r' ^. j* t$ _' N4 N+ O
# s) x8 y/ M, Xunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
* v# g5 Z/ a: @, I) }2 I0 T8 e) D
5 K; V! _2 F3 Y# y6 i8 e6 G6 i! tfor life if you play your cards right.

- I1 M2 J* W( r- b" V" C( B" k) ]
% V0 [9 l# n; i, d% R- x8 h
3 x; d0 E- _- M+ _7 y$ U) M
8 ^0 S7 V. ]% S1 s** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


9 Y4 g+ f' @! g' H
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

* s3 R$ k$ Q+ A

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.