Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' M8 m) s+ ~: \+ TDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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4 G9 Z5 C! Y% L; h* Q# g+ DJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 O2 ~+ ]5 Z9 G! l5 gCandidates must possess excellent communication
8 F3 x* o: g% q. X- b* Jand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! q4 Z0 i* `; J. l4 B. QSome overnight travel required, including trips to
* b3 S7 t7 h: R5 M  f5 l/ aprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
4 }$ ~& e' j4 Q9 U# T" OTravel expenses not reimbursed.
* r0 x0 K& O7 N8 M( gExtensive courier duties also required.

, H/ t! `( k# P1 w( N3 S7 I5 M" J8 d4 e0 ZRESPONSIBILITIES:
8 [2 V2 O, M' A2 s: {1 V, }, |1 Y& wThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
* J; I6 T# V8 Y; ZMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. W1 N) O2 d$ C; ?" M$ {# {Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
7 r2 @6 I% O8 A# U, Ein case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* F  S" F0 j6 M+ yMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
) ?# v  }$ ]6 e  ]8 {$ l3 W  [such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  A1 p6 V& \; b; N! G! Kand stuck zippers.
, ~7 a- Z8 N, [4 ?Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# @% a, y" u# B: Z  ]: JMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
) l6 n) k- q2 A+ [: W% X9 fan embarrassment the next.
/ S4 l' k; z8 qMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
* G: w! m* \' h! Chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
6 R: _# l# u5 h  @* K8 NMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ k, m8 h$ Z, l( x' nMust assume final, complete accountability for
1 X- A% X1 B$ d) U6 ~; T6 Lthe quality of the end product.
" Y) v) |6 E( V3 bResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
8 \: G4 T$ t3 e4 I; k$ p2 C3 gNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
- C$ l2 |  ~3 Y2 ^. Z' \; Lcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
) _+ C& T% P$ h/ W; jNone required, unfortunately.
; @' X7 d; {! W7 p+ z% FOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* W; ]0 d; S. g# {; a' [Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ o1 @( T- a- ~( P1 ~# e: Aof the assumption that college will help them
( U) M: m% p) b! p' S! Jbecome financially independent.
& T, v" B8 i+ |* A. X+ oWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
: H2 e- J5 H# n2 w! v. w  j) S" h0 rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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% f$ A% [& Q% m% C( Q; ?- ]unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

! Z2 f; p& f' k. Wfor life if you play your cards right.
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& |3 G, w6 D9 P9 s9 R# c2 K$ x** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
( q6 F  `  z. S6 v( q0 U& v; K9 `or forward with love
0 x7 h1 j0 Y& \3 C% Sto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.