Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
0 I. U# J  F0 W+ _
, F/ i, f0 t4 ?' F/ D
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
$ Z3 N6 k% Q  mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 w6 l- a( W8 k- A8 GSome overnight travel required, including trips to
5 d+ J2 @' A/ i0 R2 w, `primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
! {/ L3 w# @) t. K3 \% Uendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% T  F9 F) i1 w6 N1 c2 f8 wTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 f2 e$ \9 ?7 r9 l8 P* ?- Wuntil someone needs $5.
& J; L/ E+ ]/ p2 O3 b) nMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
0 M4 W1 x6 s! @7 Bin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 A4 b% B' E4 J8 p9 e. b2 Q2 \" qMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 f$ S% Z8 \' u. E  usuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
" }. t+ l4 g6 q& _/ Oand stuck zippers.
+ R4 T) y0 S" i9 lMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ l7 x( @; F6 e  l4 q# j) B" Gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 t6 ]& b7 {8 o  KMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
) _; v) A$ g+ {; [7 m1 T4 m, nMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
8 g: d! e: m* Q8 V3 m4 c% Y/ [Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ P; J7 q" I3 p( q/ tMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
( N8 b7 h! k- `5 }! `! S6 U2 j) `Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
/ G$ W) C4 N5 ^1 _# I- g& d8 e8 S5 ?janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
( O# U/ d3 s# f5 i1 ^6 X" K+ Q; Awithout complaining,constantly retraining and
; Y' i; R- x3 M' s8 g( nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

6 G1 y4 B- U' c! n% B  i
- N, W7 ~1 T7 c; q5 `+ ~4 u, e' VPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
- o% Q( z& R* A9 f+ f" [5 INone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
  |* z3 G  w, O; }: W
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* P7 n! S' R6 j7 nGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
' l/ Q7 G2 `1 ~: |7 n- RThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
0 Q4 Y7 ^4 p( Q5 d  {
2 {+ `# c/ K- V# L3 a# [BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
- p: i' [# \/ t. {this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

+ n! y( _3 |: _2 ?unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
. o6 |7 q4 I9 \9 U
for life if you play your cards right.
' k6 [- f- U; o$ s$ N6 \



** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


; u; o. j5 M0 T, W, {" X1 b
* `3 ^9 S! A! i* z+ }Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
  l/ A2 F* e9 w. xfor the fabulous job they do...
4 E, X4 L5 v) l6 g0 H: W7 Hor forward with love
) h: }: v5 o, W$ Cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
# f' Z; M9 w7 U+ `0 i9 r

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.