 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma ' w# q" B/ C$ k5 Y2 k
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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" f' B! E, E: H; N+ Z; N7 eJOB DESCRIPTION:7 |: K& X$ d/ W$ q8 c
Long term, team players needed for challenging,4 ]: s. t" q+ \& N
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. + w4 L& e0 [2 [
Candidates must possess excellent communication
2 G( q+ P4 O1 E$ D: M9 }and organizational skills and be willing to work
0 l' }& d. Z- }4 g1 f$ jvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: {- V( r% f+ v8 Rand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 0 @; w; ^# l; c' [2 @- ]
Some overnight travel required, including trips to / |1 D* m, m9 [$ [' \
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and ( C8 F6 G2 A$ Y. U8 O. s5 {
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! ) } O9 |. G3 ~0 T7 a; T
Travel expenses not reimbursed. " L( q7 S- w2 o/ I9 x
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
( P* s% x& c' B; ~, jThe rest of your life.
8 w+ y9 [" d4 B) iMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 g$ o# y2 s# C* H6 C7 ~until someone needs $5. % T; g B; _- o) N( W& U4 s2 I
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- K F+ K3 m' }& F/ K y7 m+ A2 OAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
# w8 ?$ ?$ }4 q. c! M; d3 Nand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 0 V( R. @ N7 J* f& ~2 ?# c$ H
in case, this time, the screams from
/ A5 x/ B$ T6 K1 tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 |( m7 Z' A7 BMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 1 Y- B" \, e# |/ a0 S$ C
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets ) z" P7 Y8 E) A0 S5 Q& m
and stuck zippers. # c7 Q! }" H7 ~) R4 K3 k
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and , ^( }, Z; i D8 p0 q5 X% f
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 2 @ m T. j) d0 T+ \
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. " S5 f; L: B- w. {2 \6 Q
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, : G% G6 A3 s$ x A6 n0 X, ?
an embarrassment the next. 4 {% T; z$ m5 Z
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a ! d; L, O1 w3 C" g
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. # t% \4 }. I: \3 x
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 7 N9 _2 r1 _0 f: L9 U7 j( O% B2 J5 U
Must assume final, complete accountability for
7 ]( f, N% m' o c0 y5 Rthe quality of the end product.
0 w' A& U% g1 vResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and - Q# u& P. _2 [4 h2 K
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 c7 u \4 c1 p8 pNone.
/ P# a, ~" x! AYour job is to remain in the same position for years, % e6 A; F. F6 w% D2 Q9 h
without complaining,constantly retraining and
" M. @# }: b. D7 A) Pupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
0 s9 i6 O Q. t8 [can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: / O3 K' A. u, U
None required, unfortunately. ! X. U3 i, t8 g4 I7 X" j/ ^
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 9 D7 X1 R$ k) L- N
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 ^6 ~+ ?' d# L7 w$ E8 uGet this! You pay them!
* A0 b1 a% Y) R6 P- nOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
9 ?2 W, x* \- K5 N1 @( a1 \2 ^& m Ia balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because ) B) j- a, s# m3 _2 [( K9 K
of the assumption that college will help them & B- A+ K. _7 D' _
become financially independent. . R- f" w$ o- w. u9 f x
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% E& x0 j7 C! x6 s1 B& p3 `$ IThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 0 a. d5 O0 u1 ]5 S% k' I
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. : p% Y' b; _" s: Q
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BENEFITS:
' R2 a4 Q/ W1 [) c; B5 _While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
3 T. C: _2 I1 D% rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 G; z. Q% |" [( p2 I! R; p( Zno stock options are offered,2 f! a3 K+ p& y$ l9 ?! X, Q3 h
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.5 g! {6 Q0 I* c/ x' r. l
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+ W. P \ b3 |2 h9 z9 Y** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! ** ^& y) x9 @' h/ x# p; D; B5 S( j
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8 f/ u, V8 @/ v1 B7 FForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# c% K$ A$ L) l) r4 U. b7 G' |letting them know they are appreciated
5 f. @* J, d: g; ^. f5 | Wfor the fabulous job they do...
6 |+ u5 Z$ g5 ]2 q/ @or forward with love 0 ], H; g. Y; w2 K7 t% h+ y
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.6 p" L, V/ ^' w1 p; Y7 _, `- v
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
