Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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' V# X( y4 o3 L( t) Y* ]permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
( V1 F0 P( h: B' Z! j  E7 K1 F% rCandidates must possess excellent communication
. P. k6 e( R* t3 h' Q: wand organizational skills and be willing to work
5 Q( Y8 U: e6 D/ g% ^( ?variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
6 c4 m$ r% Z6 M) f0 k% `Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
0 ]% o) ~1 Z- W: ?3 W# gExtensive courier duties also required.
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; Z0 n& f# S  N; `1 qRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
+ b. a. o" o/ K% }- FMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( L+ {) W- F6 [, h: ZAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
7 v/ f$ d/ ^5 v/ a" uin case, this time, the screams from
4 b7 t# s& v" C4 F7 y1 }the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 ]4 z7 ~' f  Z5 d8 e! k+ N) l3 P; jcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
1 D* o+ }" l5 y% }7 J7 |0 LMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# e' k: U  j: x) Lan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
1 U) b! W  n$ h: W: I6 Chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
7 Z1 R! X1 O9 {$ {: p8 n# j1 m1 \the quality of the end product.
8 x3 P, ]; O) w# Y* V# Y4 J' fResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

" f& u" L) t+ K, OPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
  Y' k3 a6 ?% GYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
; B1 G8 W2 N" Swithout complaining,constantly retraining and
0 H5 u4 k7 d! I  y. \) y5 X) qupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
" l+ m$ ?  D5 G" rcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
4 g, l+ C7 _, {% b$ Na balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

8 s1 i8 e2 I( A7 r" n6 V* A% @4 PBENEFITS:
1 ?$ |0 v5 D$ F% X& ?. h4 R5 pWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
6 O" \6 r9 v) m! g! _& {' Pno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
" Q6 v, k8 x/ n  x  athis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

: `# o- h: ]- ]2 Wunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
- G1 Z( T: z1 c: u! o! ~letting them know they are appreciated
/ _4 U( G( f5 {( n9 Afor the fabulous job they do...
5 t: v- K2 X+ `. i9 a$ ], O1 M4 Aor forward with love
0 i- E+ H# @& G- i% A# {$ o( Uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.