Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
" |3 j# I" h/ r, x; d$ @0 ~* x/ NMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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* i! p8 d9 u! {$ y  {2 aJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
, a/ Q$ a& _$ b$ ~' X, p$ CCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- u9 R# E1 S  v/ _9 ~and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
  B  R* q; S- a9 M; w: V7 Oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
! I- \+ e9 `" K* [  wTravel expenses not reimbursed.
. W9 ?1 |8 Y1 h1 \Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
) u! n4 `5 n" {8 ~The rest of your life.
  |, H+ m  @& z. l: Q3 \Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
# L. ]: B$ {6 Funtil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 N6 p1 T8 C$ {( h  sin case, this time, the screams from
( M" ]6 t( z6 athe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ x0 _& W& f$ v  }  K/ n: rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
" f" p3 ]/ X! _3 t  eMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
) t& r6 f) S+ T' CMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ R5 }' V) O) `  F* R; }4 O5 [2 {! d2 |Must assume final, complete accountability for
4 C" y8 {" L  f* c* i+ f8 l: _the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
* b' w' W$ y0 X5 H' r% {1 w, mjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
2 r) e/ _( c6 V; n, y% \Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
) |9 d, O" q% |9 H) a. N7 [" Ywithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
& c6 p- s# ?5 J$ y) {7 n+ hcan ultimately surpass you.
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6 w9 _5 q7 C8 p1 \5 sPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
  l8 n& Y- |, P  uNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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0 P* z+ T5 H6 `( ~WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  ^6 J) v4 O0 M1 @* _" @Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ m. B/ A) S4 r1 i0 g4 Mof the assumption that college will help them
" K; l4 }+ }8 u/ R; Sbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
5 ~( ^% j( z3 g4 H* A) W4 {you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
; O6 n, }2 |1 C# G# NWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
6 f- \* N( J& ^5 Ano stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
* G' D% a& f9 {% @* A; z; {) H
* H% q" M/ |' {: T2 g6 @  V& vunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
1 d7 T& X' ]) W" Y7 w
for life if you play your cards right.
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( S9 Y* g& L) T7 i+ [$ }

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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  O& s' [  J1 l  V* P) A0 BForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
& U% n! t" @. F: J9 L4 D* w* B# @or forward with love
7 }* ~1 y0 ]! w. Sto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.