Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
' h$ P# O! w$ _7 n+ r  aMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
. t2 a* E( R. v6 K  {/ D/ `% @' O6 fDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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9 c- d  K% a2 K3 hpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
( Q6 [6 P4 u/ W5 r& x5 K: C  m! jCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
6 Z5 r$ l# J$ ^7 N& ?; H/ x  wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% Y* S* T8 J- {  vTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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  ]  E( Q# a' _. v+ vRESPONSIBILITIES:
/ a" w, q% Q, M/ X* I8 n; ^The rest of your life.
3 R& _+ S  w) [  ]* j% cMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
. ]" a- Q2 O: Z! l; T" I$ Puntil someone needs $5.
* w, s* I; o, _* q2 BMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" q# I+ _; ]/ w' b( Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. `/ Y+ L: S8 _% Z, Y4 Win case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
8 l4 z# c- w% a% ]# Y4 |Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
2 n% z6 g: p, V  z, X+ `Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  W3 L: y; e0 K# V" |* kan embarrassment the next.
# X$ X$ j- n, O4 }- ~4 D" FMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
5 W* L9 l, h$ [+ sMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
5 U' M, H. I& K* f- n* j' [; CResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
& V* {' t3 X  m" G5 _5 t! Bjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
. }1 g. G9 J4 cNone.
5 A4 U0 o- w0 S5 f0 JYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
$ x- }/ x; h3 \+ r4 @without complaining,constantly retraining and
. S" {3 y' T0 m1 Z0 nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
! b5 V* k+ p+ a1 @+ ANone required, unfortunately.
% G, n/ m7 n% W4 L4 YOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
& G7 ^; P) y/ pGet this! You pay them!
& B" ]7 \5 ]' D( W; q2 |( j  ?Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 t; N1 G6 [' c' o0 ~( [a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
6 e$ S7 |$ p* p% QWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
9 `# b4 d+ g, D$ P1 J1 i* }While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
5 R/ u* l0 f) v$ pno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
) X) Y+ e3 l3 t8 V; r5 |7 z- Hthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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0 r/ i6 J0 l- {4 L** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
3 f  A) g9 q0 o/ Rletting them know they are appreciated
$ V/ U4 [" i1 ^% ?* Afor the fabulous job they do...
$ T2 b$ u5 t# b4 E& tor forward with love
! `" Y; T* v8 N9 B: zto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.