Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
; P& H! V+ a. W2 L- M3 fMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% H% C/ j$ ~% I3 ~: BDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
- b- {, b9 L5 l- ]" |9 [4 }and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 W  }9 w$ a( d; GSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  a+ U: l! F2 N: W. I$ m, E/ b' Eendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
1 W  n6 h6 R5 x$ T2 XExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
- m" `8 C% O. i% d2 I- l- mMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
, f2 U$ P+ l% Auntil someone needs $5.
% @& j9 @' f1 W" BMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- W4 W( N7 p$ ?* xAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
5 M+ q7 X+ E, q& Jin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- d3 ~9 i: Z9 r0 Oand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
: q! B! S) l3 u) rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
# l/ b% \( ~- k7 {Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
# S  W, {' [2 z! Z5 V. [Must assume final, complete accountability for
" q1 t5 G/ I! \  f& S5 hthe quality of the end product.
' L/ D3 w  c' A4 [Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 i) m5 N( ~( q5 L9 Vjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
% V5 O! x4 d7 W  S+ B% j# f( @Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 w1 b: ~$ K3 a1 h) e# V2 Twithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
  H% `- l% V2 |$ Z' T, U" ]can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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! b( t) m9 [# V- l$ H( ~' X4 r; tWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
# k! Z, x* r% T/ B9 o5 _; ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
" K+ X. ^5 |, O8 w+ Q6 ~$ _' Sbecome financially independent.
8 k4 r; p+ f% l% V1 t9 yWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
, f( J( \& O8 `& N  U/ y$ X% OThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
# t# T. O8 O* c2 X# eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

7 ^3 y* u0 \* T1 sBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
6 s8 Z  V3 c, R: N* F  t" Vthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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7 R1 E/ _4 w, L1 H. _% B; [; lunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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) g/ @' y4 U9 n1 h** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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" t' n0 d- l/ a5 c* {( X. gForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.