Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" `& O. M3 |' rCandidates must possess excellent communication
9 r6 W& z, ^! A9 _" I& L: O6 ~% F' cand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) E2 y: W  h2 n6 j  o8 f- f' aTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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5 R* |, i+ A. D5 ~  p! q* }8 NRESPONSIBILITIES:
6 C7 \; U- q- s( a6 T* ?The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
: o- V7 B9 u+ T% {* G+ luntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
0 I1 r8 r; B/ k# m# g& g) zAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
) ~, O2 A* B; \5 Kin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
0 @( g" }* u. r# w. H' ?7 e- CMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ e7 ~/ W" X/ c1 f, Q0 Xcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' p+ T6 }+ D' q/ CMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
( U( q6 v  D4 e, k5 iMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, }6 n  W8 ?% v5 N7 a/ m4 E4 Yan embarrassment the next.
% d. J8 Z' N; e( j: k7 NMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
  ]! n# m% O  a6 u/ |; e4 V" Bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" \9 A( m4 Z4 ^8 y+ }$ s- rMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
1 U4 |% a/ E6 f+ h6 s( J7 z1 XResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
; O5 z" }* _- [updating your skills, so that those in your charge
* c" m9 s$ q# T' C$ b5 Jcan ultimately surpass you.


% J- X! }0 R& Q6 wPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
' }- m& t% F! D: ~- }  [9 _% Y" QNone required, unfortunately.
  s7 N  a) k$ s( S) {On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

. C, w. V& u/ j; M2 |$ @WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
( x/ q5 w& b% ?  G, \. Ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ n+ h2 @2 u% x, r3 J( _of the assumption that college will help them
5 _8 P2 k3 ]! m  E+ tbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
* A6 @2 n* B5 ?The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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3 n% I  L0 t* Q, ^( TBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" Z# x- W2 a8 v- P0 m0 R/ l, cno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
! e' E7 [+ E+ r, T& G( m* g  wthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" |* D) M% u( j! a7 E8 V* P% V% Qletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
, H# C, P# ^( Ior forward with love
3 u, L$ C( o( @2 t$ a- nto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.