Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
; h) A# y% u: ^' wLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
! U5 U% J, [4 s) p8 N# Jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
* X$ I  B* R8 o  R" i: NExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
! C# X0 s' F  q6 H! a2 |The rest of your life.
. B0 s' N. G) f0 gMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 n2 U) t8 y  M8 Vuntil someone needs $5.
3 v- z* i4 [& E2 m+ VMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
0 I" ]- `% g7 K$ K# rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
& s( E( n1 g* R- g+ i) p( Othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
, q1 t' b9 [% T7 `Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) C8 d- ?+ o0 x1 f7 G9 G3 ]and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, t1 F4 Z3 c. u/ n' H" \$ Dan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
" S, [9 `) B+ L- f8 N6 {4 ?. lhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
! ?' Y5 w1 ~  U$ `! K. |: N. xthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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9 v# p9 z8 m' gPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
  Y2 f" R$ b  I! k7 wYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 i2 E7 ~& A( \2 u+ m1 R; ^, Wwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
' a, d* @5 H4 y# ^) |0 yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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- Y, B  _1 E3 SWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
- s4 B0 Q  C! W  B* G2 xGet this! You pay them!
' d; I: K2 I- l* ?& ]4 zOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. b0 k- V) V7 Y- R6 Vof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
! A/ ]5 a4 [/ u" fWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
2 G) J+ G2 f" @) a# n; n( ~. t* IThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
& k3 L, B. V3 ]2 B! pyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: y/ W! D- ^/ ^3 E' x6 f& z4 e, g7 uno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# ~- G+ W" e/ X! i* uno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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* W& `+ r5 ^8 v% H8 ^' Vfor life if you play your cards right.

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/ ^; F# D6 {$ u2 i** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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! `+ d( X3 z; N8 D+ M/ qForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* Z) Z2 K3 U+ k# F5 a: uletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.