 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
! i$ i( W$ \ A9 c5 ^' ~$ ^9 j3 MMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
& T6 C6 l$ M! m% S1 _Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa( H+ w# W; \$ n0 c! _% G
. ]' g* G' c ?0 A5 m* p' D- l$ [( X' T" n1 {/ Z
JOB DESCRIPTION:' _- J3 M: }, Z! m
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
9 ]4 K6 Z8 m7 E6 D* d5 z4 v5 @9 u+ L! [& `3 \/ P% ^$ g
permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 0 E. q5 T- S5 P% K4 } }/ H
Candidates must possess excellent communication ' d- o$ t% I( l- {9 n( _2 G* b
and organizational skills and be willing to work
7 L1 O, d) N/ s# x6 z. H' K( Rvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
7 {4 d* ~) `4 v+ N9 Rand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 9 ^0 D9 ], t6 A, K, @
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
5 L* V1 U) {% e+ _% cprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
1 o8 s; p% l+ W1 Xendless sports tournaments in far away cities! 1 Q, V& z* r0 N. V
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 8 Y6 k7 W6 h+ S, g# ?" A* g. A
Extensive courier duties also required.
( X7 ?! t' H$ u4 c l4 U- K
?$ Z3 O7 K* m; ?3 xRESPONSIBILITIES:
" p! |* z5 g6 b6 U; m1 s: XThe rest of your life. ( ]# o3 g- p. a8 ]
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ( e9 W3 z" f. Q
until someone needs $5. 5 U* Y5 \2 N. p# ?" U
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. ' T3 }7 O' G/ o7 `
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 l4 Y7 d; O+ y! jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
4 {' S3 t# `1 K! V# Xin case, this time, the screams from 0 N0 H# W! K7 k" r |
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
# x0 b& D9 u9 Z9 hMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 0 ]0 J) y) C- a" Q
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
. G, h2 m; {# W8 h/ Tand stuck zippers.
. H- n6 ^% g* W" X+ H7 z) c( RMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% s9 Q3 G( N _/ d6 `1 hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
C$ |( B! h; y) ]& }Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
( g% B" U- D- f4 ]. DMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
+ V/ U, S- W7 d1 ]& {an embarrassment the next.
4 Q8 {5 X8 _' E2 D; G3 ]Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 5 ^( ]- l- t: \, c `9 n8 S9 U
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. " h; y) X6 u" m+ a
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. S P- h+ g8 aMust assume final, complete accountability for
! h" {5 T8 `7 @! c; n- [- p( ^0 [, `the quality of the end product. , _# b9 i. y" R! R* W. }
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 V* c* P: C) a. Q* j! Q8 wjanitorial work throughout the facility.
9 U: g8 o0 ^! g" e+ b5 c8 q2 A8 ]8 U
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:: k( ~) H a3 E, a$ H$ U
None. 1 ]2 y' |$ D! \; A
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, " a R. G* O: J) H- N8 S g
without complaining,constantly retraining and
! z. t+ A+ o3 N! oupdating your skills, so that those in your charge / ]6 Z; z/ z* D) ^# L
can ultimately surpass you.0 B3 n" ?) W2 E k0 B6 E3 A8 m3 Y4 l
4 ?2 C O# v5 A' j1 a, i& E6 g1 i6 ?+ \/ I p4 V
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. H) D6 t. J) g6 L/ J5 i5 R" S( zNone required, unfortunately.
$ V/ L4 w* W6 J; Z8 q: _3 TOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
2 D3 S, w) f w, B1 E% u8 B: V( K* Q
. y4 W) i0 o; N( T- GWAGES AND COMPENSATION: 1 K, O6 |' z- a G* g0 l- l
Get this! You pay them!
; a- @" M& y6 M# ~6 s0 R9 s8 A/ jOffering frequent raises and bonuses. / q2 w6 [! ^! _# p. z' ?
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because % K+ k( i( L4 z. B0 S0 D
of the assumption that college will help them # X; y: o8 E0 H+ K- Q; d
become financially independent. * q' L1 S6 f1 X8 v) d
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 X2 e2 t! V+ t* |The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 5 |" t2 h" t5 Q# h/ ~) E
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. + l O; ]; Z7 Q8 U' j
: l5 W: S* Y* P+ ABENEFITS: 4 `9 \. N$ F1 `, Q# A7 h& \
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
6 I" _3 m) ?. A6 l) l+ T7 H$ Fno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* }3 w) A7 r+ t! @5 d8 Eno stock options are offered,# K- Y/ q7 E- [& o2 h
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
! u& m- `# c) i& @6 f9 w; K, E# g7 s/ A( p/ I
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses : R; b9 G$ J0 K z @7 E
- v h4 \0 ?" [: S( w% c3 D
for life if you play your cards right.) z6 q4 H, ~, t1 r5 c+ _: @
; w! F1 p: }' P8 D$ ]9 |' w
7 U+ x4 E3 s; Z
3 v$ u+ P1 e! H: `4 c9 S! ^0 O5 s; ~6 p/ `6 |, f
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **1 Q- ^' x" D- ]* S& z
! Z* J2 U3 Z' g, O
3 ?& x$ {4 s; Q3 t/ r' G
) `, Y; ]" }2 |4 b* s, K& s2 Z3 G
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
+ Q; Q i% f# V g. H; ~letting them know they are appreciated
; J7 b7 O0 Q' |: tfor the fabulous job they do... # E; f9 i5 R$ s4 [. f
or forward with love # q" v0 f5 R$ H7 ]. I
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.+ D7 k% B' A; A+ [
0 Q: v; N; e* v/ o
|
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
