Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! ?( l- n. @" B7 Z' b. GDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
' l8 C! Q3 \& B7 u+ @" E4 s
' i) H3 t7 j* r& \$ Z7 m; g- Y
- A; L4 \; M5 B2 D* DJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
" \0 \1 |8 A5 c
  H. Y' A" E# T3 R$ qpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
; u, H2 x. b$ j  Mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 `/ `& w1 P( J- Y- `7 k& a! E9 Q1 gand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
" u8 m0 |; R* M2 l% M0 {6 z6 kExtensive courier duties also required.
/ ]2 ^: Y7 c# u" G* R# ^& t
# n/ b# ]4 O) ^7 lRESPONSIBILITIES:
% ~( g/ p2 g8 OThe rest of your life.
7 Q1 O7 g' x' [8 cMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
4 H) z( H: v* huntil someone needs $5.
* b5 T. D/ k1 F' mMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: m8 A- x' P" \. G! Y; K8 Rin case, this time, the screams from
3 r9 C0 G$ F  B: b3 Zthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
: ], ~$ L6 z* ^/ p( ]' ]5 lMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
) z8 @$ t3 P: N1 t2 |2 q2 ~such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 F- E0 h6 R& ^  W0 R# sand stuck zippers.
- p7 ^3 D% U& G1 D% d" g7 f4 z- QMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 O& Z7 d) S. {+ e. f9 r1 i+ DMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% Y  F, ^9 q7 T: Q# lMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
# r* E6 r9 g, TMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
% ]* u0 N4 |5 M4 N/ ethe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 A1 x  s; ?/ I/ g+ |' y8 \1 Vjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
5 O9 Q' [* |# }, K. h
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
- |' T& f' P* x  C& s# dwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
3 Z. E% o" J7 C; u, Xupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
% i+ W/ {) }: L! Scan ultimately surpass you.


' M% I  s0 Y& b. \5 _9 K$ ^0 h1 WPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 H! H! h" E3 D9 {None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

2 p, l: e+ o4 LWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 q; n, s% k: ^8 |8 j7 \Get this! You pay them!
- x1 J1 y' Y! L( Q9 |3 b# J5 KOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
( l# L$ p4 M5 C: U4 Ubecome financially independent.
, [: q% U% f5 o+ fWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
, b+ I3 A6 n2 L9 l% {5 {  kThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

1 e6 U2 r( j0 g/ YBENEFITS:
; K3 z3 k4 Y% x/ f; }" \While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
; d, O0 x: E9 Bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
- d+ i' ]. X& `8 u
2 b. P4 @% {' }" rfor life if you play your cards right.




" v; F+ F) n1 w4 w' Y6 ?# F** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
" B$ f: `. a0 P6 t/ G: _


8 D5 n1 m1 J# O; [Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
# e$ X% W* C3 q& ?! Z0 w: b% E* F4 [to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
* f: b2 e3 p5 G/ d$ l; @; m

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.