 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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3 W H' }( O. GMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
# G. h) Z3 i, e! A( MDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa: J& U; V; \ g* O
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
" D) V6 X' |" q' [4 \# B4 A% d3 ULong term, team players needed for challenging,) Y+ i# c# I; N+ v# ^: P6 b
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 0 R! \8 d: G5 a- l
Candidates must possess excellent communication L9 G: J/ H+ ]% M
and organizational skills and be willing to work ' \1 k! k" u6 I: z! T
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* z& Q& u% X5 p2 C: Y @# Gand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
8 A% q* d4 j. y" t9 ]8 p2 ^Some overnight travel required, including trips to ) R- q8 W* t& r
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and , ]& y9 i1 h& b1 N) c4 V9 _
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 2 m, w1 N \% d9 g4 Q) V; V
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
- x0 s0 Q/ m+ ~9 r J7 r5 K' C9 RExtensive courier duties also required. % t3 T4 C3 [4 W3 p- B U
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
9 ^! A2 O1 i# J; v* X0 f5 } W7 DThe rest of your life.
& D# f) m. l6 L$ Y9 B) B# p/ j9 mMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 6 F, `/ W6 u+ V9 I! I/ E" l% m( q$ }# F
until someone needs $5. c/ Y- c b9 D
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 8 B1 ?# T8 p* l" K* I+ ?
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
9 n8 O! l$ d2 e$ Jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
! G- C: S; _9 u9 I4 uin case, this time, the screams from $ n5 k1 K" P# a1 a3 R/ [
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. , R! a) J0 @5 Z4 q4 o- e6 |1 _6 p) N4 ~
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, : }. Q2 Z) }$ X8 A3 }- }9 d% t9 w; E( C
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 C0 Y$ U! H) B w' ?& eand stuck zippers. 8 n" }8 @! C. z4 H j
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# H5 t4 l% K2 ~% ~( Ucoordinate production of multiple homework projects. ) \9 C3 l! h/ X+ O9 p
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. ' l/ B$ O, j0 ]9 z
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 4 q& ?; u7 P, R' d7 x5 T
an embarrassment the next.
, r2 u2 v2 u4 r& W+ bMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
4 J$ s: c& _% H' Ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. % e( ^8 z; N% O% `5 u N' |- C; }
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
& M5 n9 x; M' |4 Y% H+ ~- gMust assume final, complete accountability for 6 F( D. h k5 \/ `, I; F
the quality of the end product. % m2 |" p1 `( O7 M/ v0 S
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and + }! O! { u- d) l8 n
janitorial work throughout the facility. 0 u" B8 Q* i* H* v. ~
% t: v1 ?* g; Q' ]3 E9 h6 ePOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
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Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
8 \. p; ?7 Z: u: Hwithout complaining,constantly retraining and 6 O5 h3 B% S3 ?9 O3 \2 _
updating your skills, so that those in your charge - Q, h7 `+ K6 m: c8 v
can ultimately surpass you.
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7 F% A1 d. N; R! n% Z- g6 PPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 7 F. O; W& _: t+ g5 i
None required, unfortunately.
6 V& c5 x6 d' K4 f( D/ g. lOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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1 T! G3 l: R0 _6 x; R" }WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 4 L9 S: Y h' _! c
Get this! You pay them! 9 H& X( f/ {. N7 ?* P5 ~- \: i
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
e: g8 o) R: B/ W& k4 Ha balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because ; ^' H/ q a q0 B
of the assumption that college will help them
2 x8 ^# n6 c, b# S; D8 mbecome financially independent.
{& [. w9 n Z1 T4 ]+ SWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
+ t0 ]6 W, m v BThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, F# C3 ]. C" i ~* Qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. U+ q: n. J1 M: y, D
6 C8 Z( ], `3 j b( v& eBENEFITS: ( K4 V7 m/ k7 g& A
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, , @. A& L& d* y
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and - m+ Q3 i$ x1 g( J/ \% }9 g0 Q
no stock options are offered," G8 j- t$ ^$ S& O) f
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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@ \0 n! P; w2 N0 D) }+ d+ s( X Dunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, % Q8 B8 C X, O) A+ X" A
letting them know they are appreciated + s5 s+ u( z e" y
for the fabulous job they do... : \2 ~4 h5 g2 H+ i+ {
or forward with love
2 R9 Z7 p3 a" v( T( Fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.. i9 d+ m& y. s, u- u
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
