 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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5 o$ h) o2 Y5 @8 e) T( A+ ZMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 8 q! u5 T7 h* c) ^" _7 A
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa7 H& q7 p6 u/ R, Q! w
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& L$ z+ g' ?% I: H0 PJOB DESCRIPTION:
. e, p: ]# A& \6 t- I7 C2 wLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. % Q) T+ H, x8 e: Z- m
Candidates must possess excellent communication
5 l; |5 [% i* w; {0 m- V& H" i/ w8 j& w3 mand organizational skills and be willing to work * J# [: M, K8 _% C- y
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
" d8 U) b; v% t8 M: s/ d0 cand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. ( e6 [9 a( t' @/ V
Some overnight travel required, including trips to / F& n* g# f6 l( l
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and ) L6 z$ c5 w0 f& a- u \7 U$ C
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 2 z0 O$ s/ w: H: }- i
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
8 a8 ~6 f- u! s; oExtensive courier duties also required.
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- [, d! @8 Z6 [0 P% l6 tRESPONSIBILITIES:* s3 [5 y; B1 k6 B
The rest of your life.
. t8 S/ l' Y+ M* }& D8 P) {# JMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, * |. F) J1 K$ E5 X0 K6 X* D
until someone needs $5.
+ V% C1 X3 @6 Z3 a2 r* kMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
6 K; o) X8 g* Z0 L9 o) J4 {% qAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 2 O% E/ C' p- D1 N" ?; g+ Y
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
9 T$ U9 j% c. r) S8 uin case, this time, the screams from , ~3 [9 V) {! l6 X4 M& K7 @+ j
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 7 P9 B) `$ ?1 C0 l
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, ! o1 I& z, o1 K/ `
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 E) v% i; V! c- W, wand stuck zippers.
" p! T5 n, _ J' H: W2 }/ _! ], P/ eMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 0 r( a2 o x& G* ?
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 b) D# _- n; F* P( p }Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" b4 a2 n7 Y9 M/ N' B* D% n7 E0 @Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. T8 q$ Q! Q+ C( |% M G+ O: ]$ y% [an embarrassment the next. ! D* x7 G% l! N0 L! d
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
+ P+ l, f5 \) Y3 o! U# Ghalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 U! G; D6 N$ q- v- h' cMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' B9 I* P, _3 ^* B5 J4 yMust assume final, complete accountability for $ \3 i+ [1 M( ?7 Q
the quality of the end product. 1 U1 p, j" l' t0 z" P+ i/ j; I
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
2 @& |, A) F$ J/ R" _$ yjanitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:; a4 l* z* S5 F% @$ M4 G0 F
None.
2 h7 u$ E1 U/ t' f" g, QYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
i9 r; |% T4 q$ R+ g" awithout complaining,constantly retraining and ( O! d8 g; E' `7 b# l
updating your skills, so that those in your charge & k) c$ p+ i$ u, _1 H- ^- K1 r
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
4 Q$ [% K3 a- D# |: uNone required, unfortunately. , F5 {# @3 E3 ]' w
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. ^3 l$ g3 d- D4 @; P
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: ; r: j2 i2 }/ A9 ]9 i! b
Get this! You pay them! & ~7 F; W/ O4 B% Y% f4 |
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. - ?, E9 P4 v* C
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
5 I+ {9 B6 Q, ?5 {# W5 Uof the assumption that college will help them . w- Z) J( [- ^$ Z$ u/ G: p
become financially independent. & r6 M4 s4 u: e% _, P& v! Q
When you die, you give them whatever is left. / k! O: v, b$ W1 g/ Z" t+ J; q. j
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
8 {% b0 @1 A: I% cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. # ?1 k% G4 v3 w) ~& N$ A! n& _
7 L8 D V |- W: k* UBENEFITS: & v9 k0 S. X9 L
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
' c: Q, Q" m. S/ t. zno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and * v9 i B4 d+ j# k
no stock options are offered,# K! G2 p% A3 s: g, H4 G" f
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 9 ~8 |* M @9 |1 ]; b
# w: R! x( J* r2 Cunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses ( |6 @: i$ }/ R/ b2 M
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for life if you play your cards right." }; m" ~6 z5 o$ z5 o2 P9 o
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3 y5 _. B4 [1 i# w8 [** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **$ ~' q3 \3 L9 U* f( \
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3 Z( e- C. x# GForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 2 W/ Y6 f `+ |( t
letting them know they are appreciated 6 S3 a+ N- D/ o; O8 ?+ [& l/ Q
for the fabulous job they do...
/ l, N% w( H, x6 n; Y: }/ A$ J+ Yor forward with love
) h. }$ A, k2 n' G' cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
