Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
) u% N8 K& G' X/ m( I, R0 }3 i: OMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
. C3 D$ A' I3 v. C" {Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
+ e1 P1 h# h, b4 f4 xLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
  b) G7 A* e3 p7 V% ^and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ t, h& w* F) @; Z# |1 u' I4 y2 cvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* c, k- @- ?% T" T! ]" V9 wand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% d. N8 V$ Q$ q/ P/ NSome overnight travel required, including trips to
- ?" E) a8 u7 O& T% s& Xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
. Z/ R) ~$ F; s  T, h! j) T4 Bendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
# ~# |  X% R% W$ G, LTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 e5 Q( X) P9 W$ h) }until someone needs $5.
) C! J3 V$ t" }& j% s7 j" hMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
4 W' B' C0 T( J; RAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
7 h$ e! j3 p5 c. d; s: s- C7 W! W- ythe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" O" a2 G6 v- e$ t3 z* u( ]Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- w, @' X' }# ?$ R3 U4 A' v( yand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
! R+ e* n- F. ^6 f1 M3 n5 q& I8 F& oMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
0 f0 c) b" p" W% e" s& M, m- `an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
( y7 V! V' B+ I' f8 ]+ m- shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
* `6 _& Q  M1 O) FMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. ^. N  ^0 d# F. J! Z1 xMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 C! ^. _' N9 d, f- djanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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+ ~3 @6 `' v. M; JPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
4 u- g- K  A5 ~/ M3 v" T* uYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
" \. b' k( m/ a7 rupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
! G- [7 d) m6 S# ^8 P  nGet this! You pay them!
+ v, a2 k3 |& R4 lOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
, s' I. L: Q0 d4 p1 ^of the assumption that college will help them
  d% G9 x( T# B; S* M( qbecome financially independent.
1 ]9 D, c$ F6 v, n+ L8 T- vWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" l$ T, F. g( H! zyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
1 T) E. K, {* \2 B5 Cno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) x0 W! @" a  i0 \' p  R6 wno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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* ~% G, c0 T3 z6 [8 B% U" {& dfor life if you play your cards right.

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9 L6 I" v$ o2 w; F0 R** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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1 S' u  S- G" f9 S) n/ U% hForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
  T; Z$ J! i& H  f* xletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
& |" K4 @0 A+ I3 M; Dor forward with love
. z, t& W* C% u  H0 f4 [% m& Cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.