Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
+ F: d  n! Z* o/ EMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
+ q  r7 a8 ?8 P6 l% F; YDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
2 r' i- Y" ~, d, b; d) M/ N, U+ \Candidates must possess excellent communication
9 a" y  B( B/ l5 [$ U  ]. b! Yand organizational skills and be willing to work
6 K* {& A) ~7 ^/ v0 P  p% Hvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) _- h6 |/ v  o3 G& R5 F+ {and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- \5 l3 z0 x% K& N3 }& G) o$ JSome overnight travel required, including trips to
7 E* ?9 E. j2 T. Zprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
% S2 w) j" z$ P, dMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. e, B) R$ @  j8 D! `- r; DAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ T% d1 f6 a/ ]# [) JMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
0 v& o6 ]/ ]  k, D% d; n3 D4 m, L2 R8 Lsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
7 _8 H1 K1 }+ z, S$ c8 i# xMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" Q. ]2 i" W4 O6 aMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
: A7 v4 \" i; B! R7 n2 fan embarrassment the next.
) H! K1 [5 p6 [: X* ?4 r. EMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 o0 T+ r5 c, {6 E+ o  Lhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' z) Y! W5 [# A9 b& q$ W6 K, fMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
! X2 m2 K8 ]" s% [; t, I6 D6 vthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
) [3 e, D- w8 S, a+ \( ~5 gYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
; |$ `6 o- {( |& ^# Qwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
# q. ?- m1 g. P9 v$ D  Q  ccan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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+ T- u, Y- O* MWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
/ N) M, l2 i5 _/ \0 g$ Va balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 t, Q8 |0 o2 A, hof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
1 e" t" W: ?0 m: GWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
( U$ v! r+ l0 c! y# V  Z3 K1 TThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
1 v9 k+ M8 w" O( m. g! fyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

- T8 Z2 H' b4 D3 k( U5 \- }4 R0 uBENEFITS:
1 [+ h  G* O3 c6 @8 R. Q% ~9 JWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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7 h, G9 t' k# L** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
! L- V  p" S6 T, Z- b1 [for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.