Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
6 x  _" l4 Z) F$ C. J! U1 DMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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$ Q7 N' ?+ m3 C8 QJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
1 W. ~) i5 I8 T5 _4 N/ p4 c! mand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
& {) \; i  e' n/ oendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* {( I% a% h0 B: w$ e9 BTravel expenses not reimbursed.
, M3 z0 `8 C$ f. C  C. F0 y# FExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
5 \6 V9 y: ^* Z/ r6 ^$ uMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
7 V8 s- A/ R# \- z- L+ \, DMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
; y# c* Q; {7 L# D" UAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( z+ \$ g3 k# K4 q! vand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; o! u6 n( S% v) vsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
. u3 D6 t+ j2 Gand stuck zippers.
/ F  h4 M& Z" k3 S# T7 YMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
6 q. e# s& c: \$ ~2 z/ ^+ Vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
6 D$ o3 a' ~2 b: ?- F( [2 ~Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7 [, p6 q; l. b- c- gMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
/ z% y) p! y* [4 i  Ban embarrassment the next.
& p$ b0 P) J- Q# Y" XMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
( @: F* _+ s- U1 i: }5 nMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

, i$ _( k5 ^) M, T$ A! q' cPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- R8 C) W4 g1 c  ANone.
: q5 f3 g" n, _  N2 P& O/ A+ MYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
) O# Z+ _0 D0 R8 Ewithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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( e% \% W( u2 T" L2 K( N0 B1 IPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" ~$ P* V: P+ g7 ]( k0 E! JNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" z* W8 J, R- `- nGet this! You pay them!
9 X* I+ u! W* @* \& U+ vOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ f, q9 b1 c* C( rof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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% B$ K. v6 P6 eBENEFITS:
" Y4 B0 p% s/ FWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 S: w$ @8 b6 i. o- Nno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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' g& n% H* e* Y  J7 |5 e' Y$ ~unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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/ i, E, F% L8 a. B& dForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
2 t) k$ `& f+ S8 |% M) S  Xfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.