Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
" w+ q+ R% L6 ]. f- {Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
- s$ n% m( [* eDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


3 B5 G" U$ N5 ^, p3 Y0 N6 FJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
! Z/ j8 b# b# R$ b8 T: s
7 B- c7 ~; l4 Y& @$ H' D3 Apermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
% [8 H" `1 H( f, i6 c" u; oCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
0 P- j, F- o- i+ y. n* D- ]' g$ qvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* M7 k) ]0 C3 O( pSome overnight travel required, including trips to
9 f2 h& F6 E0 pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
0 W/ \$ ^  q: Z9 K( N9 I  M! d- tTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
  J; @; T) z- _5 z+ fThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- t/ N! r0 j6 I' z9 s4 A) ~until someone needs $5.
% d7 H$ b$ i% [; `Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
7 P2 ~" x1 l8 c) q6 R! f7 |' T4 h3 o0 Wand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 O4 q- g, j" J7 Z/ Xin case, this time, the screams from
: k- S$ _- W8 Q7 P5 l3 a3 a' m% }the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ E& M3 Y: G+ ~% Z: Ssuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
& T" `% n' I) H6 _" @Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, c& ^* w; v9 G4 D2 U7 vhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
5 @2 m* J5 v8 Y; u- T$ H* IResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) x* Q, b$ A' S" Y% U* Zjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

" w& q4 P' r: E5 [% D( p7 JPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
3 C2 S+ b" v( `8 p( V9 Q4 {3 Jupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
; H. S+ Z8 n: o; G/ b& @$ K5 G& Jcan ultimately surpass you.


; r7 r- j) m. |' X( j$ KPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 c* p& ?. E+ GNone required, unfortunately.
( P3 d1 M' D% }; Y+ l3 y  ^On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

7 |) y& F+ h* E6 j# e( [. vWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
. L* |! c6 K- n. P# hGet this! You pay them!
2 e9 U8 X, ~3 \0 t3 \Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( S- }7 O3 x! O; o  ?  Jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
1 x9 J3 X5 E! \4 t1 y0 Z/ T/ [3 e
BENEFITS:
0 B1 ?6 _# }3 t/ E8 p7 D* o- BWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
- d  H; O6 D% }6 {no stock options are offered,
) w0 v* l( z: e: Fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
- N! _  I2 ~- P: Y# D/ `% {6 q3 D) [
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
+ ~2 U" f) J6 T* b1 b8 E3 E
for life if you play your cards right.



* P( \+ Z) s' T3 a
8 R% v' n( S( g+ E) L* N/ [  V0 k** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
2 I" w3 L1 O* k" b2 u7 |& p% N

/ i! f* h9 x& _  w
- P5 X# |4 _% Z0 E: a& |8 T0 A: GForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# ~9 b: c% f* t  L' lletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

9 k' Y$ X2 U; L

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.