Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
' A0 Z7 |6 ~8 G( x/ \. kMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
, I6 R! @+ G* X/ }( l8 K+ lDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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- O. W" s* t/ w+ }( T% kJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! \0 `& P' b1 r: c8 A1 \Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% h4 h' o' k6 K. Mendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  O& E& A/ u, Y2 R% \Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' Q; D$ i2 I- V( luntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* X1 H+ F( P1 e2 Yand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 q4 Y9 A1 }/ G( w4 `1 S: Jin case, this time, the screams from
6 `$ Q4 y% X; r8 Wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
# m- D9 p5 K: B: l# SMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, ^1 @2 x1 [; N* i- q2 fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
6 {1 D" k: _4 ]) aMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ D6 a: }9 [; [( m9 r# {4 sMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
) y2 J+ t% ]% A& l7 i9 MMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
) x& Z: T# N) X) qMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 m  ]$ r/ O, v- Q! I7 ahalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
+ r2 n5 _0 L( @5 U+ e$ cMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
  z# j2 C( G- s( PMust assume final, complete accountability for
+ r5 k* |) a! g! sthe quality of the end product.
. h2 l$ D) K; Y# ^; M9 XResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( Y9 Y, X* ^' U3 U- a( JNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
1 {+ D; l- M  @5 Eupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
" t' q$ s  T- Z4 gcan ultimately surpass you.
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9 k: k; f3 U* _PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% h! i  `: {; w' |None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' R4 e+ D. U; \: x7 V+ o, tGet this! You pay them!
1 b+ T0 c" r, ~9 ?& f1 fOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 o2 F  a( ?& H' s  G( Ta balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
! D/ T9 t$ T" q/ D% wbecome financially independent.
5 R: S  C/ |7 LWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
4 n; }3 _: f& n2 x+ m+ hThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
% S# K6 ~( F# L% G/ gyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; U2 ^- K" o! J( |* V6 N+ wno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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' ^" h1 I8 h5 P1 A+ ]! k1 @1 S9 Zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

+ b3 X9 Q. D* yfor life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
: A# ~! y: z* D! P* z, b- Kletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
9 Z! W* i7 R' f7 L( ]# [% r& xor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.