Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
# s  D, B) ~: \" M: f; \. s2 MMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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8 M) E( G' ^. L$ yJOB DESCRIPTION:
- ~1 M% b! d3 H- S3 d' {; ?Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
2 k) q3 ]2 h& ^3 Y7 jand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
+ ]" ^  z- x! D: c1 T% v8 {5 A4 S( fand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
1 ]% H# t( a5 Q: h" m4 U# Nprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 q" _, x9 q6 [& x& Y  J! [endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
  ?, G9 p5 p* f: e0 F% R. DThe rest of your life.
  P% i. w1 F. F0 g  fMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
) b" N. p$ n5 G, j! n- `/ t1 IMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 L4 v0 f0 U( c4 ?4 [) E5 q* KAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
4 v) O8 P# u- l# F: Z1 W7 fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
: ]6 n- K/ a  S" i6 ~Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
% V7 w! ~5 m! }) x& o3 ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 P. l: m1 L6 P% z8 I( Uand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
/ k( A2 ]' d, v# O6 Hthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

7 R2 c# A2 v8 EPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
2 i& X' n1 i* ?+ d$ H8 _" D. vwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


/ Y6 y% _3 T  t$ f( xPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, j0 H8 s/ N  \( A; N$ V) h9 Y9 r8 v, OGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
, Y0 q9 K+ y1 H! `a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
. Z* S& V' t6 O* Mbecome financially independent.
3 j6 ~6 S" g0 d; WWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
  k: c, H9 `1 \  L& ZThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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7 m& r# K) \1 c2 _/ z9 H- q3 Z$ o- UBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
$ j* }# R( i5 R: Q! {this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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8 W7 V) ^4 }0 d( ~) F" {2 jfor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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3 k9 W$ p3 Q1 M9 o6 rForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.