Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
0 f, U# R% m+ m7 i- mMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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) Q8 }, ^9 Z" Z# g* @JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
9 i6 n* p' }9 ?primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
5 s  m  j% @; W! k- ^8 j- Q, y1 pExtensive courier duties also required.
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: e1 Q2 m3 @+ S1 y2 I" ^: CRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
2 @: L7 S9 l" K% v- KMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 G, S, R( t, duntil someone needs $5.
% }8 A" Z$ }" q/ a2 ?Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- t- [2 K4 g8 ]2 b( Y- Fin case, this time, the screams from
: u# k3 _8 a( N3 E7 D" Z$ lthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
3 F) a5 Q+ o& asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
0 F7 k- g" R4 Pand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 o/ h8 ^  |, `Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 u4 E9 J1 h- g2 U' d& R7 A: RMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. }0 i4 H% K7 j8 AMust assume final, complete accountability for
- t; Z/ a% r3 c! A' vthe quality of the end product.
6 k7 a, J/ A2 |3 M/ sResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' z$ A, [! |$ V) i% A$ Y9 Sjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

6 ]# [# M1 N$ s3 \; \( @POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( T; u0 _* W: ^+ YNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 f1 e& P, t0 {* r  vwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
( _- t/ ?8 J1 bupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
; o% Q+ E9 c# F3 f4 m5 |5 E" |# ycan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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) N/ I$ G; w4 E0 q+ }4 O5 ]4 AWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
! \+ Q6 D: a+ m% U9 EGet this! You pay them!
! f; S" B# \. JOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
# e1 t6 y: {( u8 [& U$ p9 C4 ua balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
* i5 H* r4 Z8 abecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
  ?; |% N( V+ m8 C6 |# V, S+ q# @you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

  K4 k6 [. ]7 F4 z1 U7 {BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# ~  Y+ A5 Z& F  \+ r' d. _: |" qno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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  [; ~  }: z5 Q4 S. ~** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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% P* r/ @7 ~, z( U; sForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
. T! G/ B. F" v- xfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
( [) e, E5 g$ _* v$ K8 e% tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.