Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
/ ^" {5 z6 Y* pMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
5 h/ G7 a5 F& @% jCandidates must possess excellent communication
4 P# T# }. m- V* p, _1 D; U- jand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- A+ N8 S$ f% E/ s, ~" h. ^and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 K/ V* P$ X$ B5 q- ?$ Aendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; L! d* Y% f$ H: q% iTravel expenses not reimbursed.
9 o$ M$ ?) M  {8 LExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; ?6 k2 @& ?0 G0 {& ?9 m6 w! ?" Guntil someone needs $5.
' l9 x9 r6 F  e0 v2 F" vMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; m4 S& d: ~+ i  D8 I* Jin case, this time, the screams from
* F5 V, g5 V0 h) ~" f$ Z" vthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
- ^- ^6 g" F, X5 |7 g5 t; pMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ u7 Z6 c" `9 F/ o' t2 D8 N- P' _" g) Zsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: r; {& e. ?* Jand stuck zippers.
6 x2 Z6 ]" {! A  x$ s9 f& |0 A  nMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# o  k* p: U! o! c' Wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" w+ w5 {" _4 h; b" G( d) c3 kMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 n- I# u* Q3 v0 TMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
3 `( Y% f& M7 y/ k# ~' O  V$ Dan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% w, h/ v+ T0 ^2 N0 yMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) F3 d7 U) }5 k9 `Must assume final, complete accountability for
* S' X3 a/ i- d% xthe quality of the end product.
" W* u3 ^- {6 a9 Z/ d# xResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. j+ c1 T5 q  n- @; X6 {janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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: x  W& ?- {9 [POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
& d- Y9 x  i, o: |without complaining,constantly retraining and
' n$ U9 K9 M: _" n5 ?+ M8 U/ [, Lupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
; B  c3 h9 E* t2 U) Acan ultimately surpass you.

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6 B& V  h( s- q% _. a! Q. D0 OPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 S) w& R' T6 A) VNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

) j# {: h6 r& ZWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
+ K+ E6 J/ z; u' z0 {  OGet this! You pay them!
% ~/ z' Z5 ~8 Q. iOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
7 i' o% [7 h5 s, m8 d3 O* sa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
- c5 i- x/ R4 ~( i9 fbecome financially independent.
& L$ ]* i* t2 cWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
- v+ z& o+ N9 qThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
+ g& P# j8 l( d/ `6 L( d" I: J+ IWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% x5 ?* C/ ^7 _5 v4 y. r  rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
' x! X5 f7 Q$ z. o* kno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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5 z  ^$ z" ~, I. l** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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+ i8 j0 G$ j+ J' SForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
) Q  u* Y# }; Y+ r, vletting them know they are appreciated
: W* ^1 r5 f- A1 V. V6 ~, [" tfor the fabulous job they do...
. G2 a) f  A; ~9 ?or forward with love
& U& ~1 `4 k/ R0 F) B& r9 kto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.