Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! B- R1 C/ U. [, s# L9 q% ADad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

/ P1 \+ A8 u" J4 F# i& R) r
8 K$ u5 T, A: B. V7 J7 S# ?2 B! d8 [. NJOB DESCRIPTION:
" }6 g- D: R8 m7 E5 `3 ZLong term, team players needed for challenging,
5 f; L/ [1 Z& B; C
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
  e) W, w# o7 w1 M8 jCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- ?$ F' j" P% m, p4 H8 l8 \' o( vand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
) L6 U, }4 t0 k* O+ cSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 I8 w+ C( v$ Q& H. hendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
" I1 S3 V0 `# _+ {9 L& t4 X4 sExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
+ n, V4 t5 `( HMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ M/ o/ x3 G& e1 K' u" T% x8 rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
6 f$ Y% @$ B2 }* Mthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 h3 t. P( Z& _) q0 U5 lMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
/ @% h& P0 W5 M/ zMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ @5 @, R6 _4 _& G) x& JMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
8 }! [* {- }$ Gthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
& t5 [: v9 d: m8 P: {5 J5 Ejanitorial work  throughout the facility.
0 F6 |: t: ]  x/ a3 U1 E' P
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( e% }0 i8 R/ t( {# a: B/ _8 U( Y" vNone.
8 `3 h1 r! a+ ^! V, R. y$ LYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
5 d' K1 _9 t) K( Wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

, [- S. `3 a! }, h0 A  z8 b
- p9 J+ P! W: Y  O5 ]4 ?  NPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
5 j7 K6 H9 {! ^On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
" R2 R6 b% d# C' T! z
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
0 L! m% _+ r6 ~2 G. [/ O/ h$ b  P/ `8 kbecome financially independent.
* O4 y2 o3 Y, E4 o! q0 i  b1 {When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
) x2 q# \  j! G9 wWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
- _% g3 n1 ]: R4 m( e- @3 P$ _no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 `  B# u) c# O8 \  c: uno stock options are offered,
5 w. d* d" q# g3 f/ ~2 Xthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
3 T, R! h' c$ ?- m
/ F: J9 P: R6 munconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

7 D8 ~  g* `5 i1 S* j0 Qfor life if you play your cards right.
- l0 t  f, W- i/ M5 J" S2 [
. J( y" C  G% O! V9 [" F2 m


3 o# H, U" @4 _5 L) V1 g  _8 [4 h** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
  e" I6 k' T2 y0 Y
- ^. J; d  h. H, j6 R- y( h1 M/ M  ]
# o  J) T0 U% @# A$ `3 h( _
& ^+ d5 r$ U: P. k6 k2 Y9 E, `% J3 pForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
9 C+ k4 N$ F4 \% y/ A7 bor forward with love
4 X: B2 ~& ~  w! Y8 hto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
, q% b- a+ n# S) ]0 H
# @9 O2 u! m. e+ D4 F/ }: T

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.