Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


! _. C/ a! a8 l' z' JJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
. C% M) X) T- P3 F2 _" B) mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
! Z6 R3 p6 i$ i! ?+ l' Eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
4 j( w) P1 {& u* U3 `( A1 c3 `primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
9 X# i1 ^0 \6 M, w4 FExtensive courier duties also required.
5 J# T' N3 g2 K( @6 @; D6 Z. `
RESPONSIBILITIES:
( K* I0 q6 C* u$ P# Z: yThe rest of your life.
, k3 g% D( H7 u1 F! u" ]! PMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' i. J1 r6 a9 c* Luntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. a5 |3 U: Y/ K6 D6 [  WAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
# Y* ^! j$ y5 k2 e4 \) R, yand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
# S( R0 z  j5 O! w/ o1 othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 C4 o4 B9 [% ^; h7 H1 FMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' s  @. T8 S. p/ P, Q3 ?& ], Osuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! c$ J, a& y0 M. g) d9 n  {and stuck zippers.
  c8 e+ I. I3 C7 d7 G# HMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
* g+ [9 L0 {( j3 e* |& }: O+ [3 q/ m, Ian embarrassment the next.
. g/ p5 Y7 u1 C6 qMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ _+ l, O$ f; \' {. c) Ehalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& f7 b$ d; T0 yMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
$ z" W# F- U6 ^7 ~# ^the quality of the end product.
8 Q& y6 r% a" Y2 m: M  P: \" _/ ^. YResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ u6 H7 T0 }1 fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
7 f# U5 _3 E/ r- C7 {( W, f7 ]
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
/ D, e5 w' d2 @6 R. ^( G& mNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
  Y+ g/ m3 c  Cwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" R0 [4 v/ @8 y0 `5 G2 BNone required, unfortunately.
4 ]& o4 D! c& MOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
3 l' r+ ~+ v0 `; Z8 H
$ Z+ q0 j" W( o9 h, J5 X5 X: \WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 B7 }4 ?0 y7 r# y& T9 g3 H, J) TGet this! You pay them!
  N6 z' ^: h. F; \6 ]+ n) {Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
/ @* |! W9 H+ C9 J
$ q: _4 A# G5 H% f1 c7 l% H, oBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 c$ y4 W. I4 q, k, V& ~9 N& ?no stock options are offered,
8 x: c6 q& J5 n5 T/ ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

; P1 n$ e- N! }! ounconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
( Z( @) P' [& q/ m9 w! l
for life if you play your cards right.



; b, G0 C* o+ I$ j2 |
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
5 m; ~3 Q' Z) h" wor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
: X) j7 F4 ~( V2 ?3 f- _

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.