Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

  c  z/ C/ C$ o  Z. w( v) q$ Gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! \7 F7 s$ j/ X6 c) bCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
* n3 I1 a$ F2 Nvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
2 Z8 `1 b; R8 [, T7 k; lSome overnight travel required, including trips to
$ l! X4 R. V% ^% P# @+ \+ A+ y3 jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
7 L9 o( u' c7 tExtensive courier duties also required.
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( }; O, O: H$ N: wRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
; s1 Q% F9 u( Q! G7 l6 D$ @Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ A( i* E* [9 m! n7 K' guntil someone needs $5.
/ |. m% X: O9 FMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
$ ^* ]# p* U2 [! lthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
$ s9 H: m; U6 b! l3 Q. @Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
0 H" {" j" b' D9 A, esuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: W5 b9 ~, _, X) }and stuck zippers.
- ^1 _# K) R) C/ B8 z4 uMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
: [* X. J$ v5 ?8 }2 R1 r- i' v" _: Hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ J6 w9 {2 v- M: v5 k& T3 I+ G5 \+ pMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
3 M5 c- `8 V$ |- @7 {an embarrassment the next.
7 k+ }2 b1 X; H! q$ ?7 KMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 I3 f% s! k: Y" Z% @half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 ?# q; a/ V0 W: x- e; Q$ ]* W* H; tMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
3 _3 X( K5 Q) z) EMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

: E: j- H2 V0 ~! [& lPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
6 G2 Y# I' A, f' }0 n- IYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
7 N) J: r% S2 Z) W; A% ican ultimately surpass you.


* d, J& J$ _  _1 ]% q& _5 aPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
, l% o) m* X4 u6 S8 @On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

  l6 D3 J. g+ Y/ Y% [3 m6 }" lWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
1 w6 E: j  p4 {, e7 D  AOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
0 a3 @9 E  T6 T+ Y% IWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
0 z" E! g5 m) U9 T9 [4 J6 f* e/ eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

% j% O: n$ t1 z! G! _. W0 @' BBENEFITS:
3 E  W; }+ ?' N2 s3 a/ N% \While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
- D$ K3 ?" B- ]no stock options are offered,
/ q0 X  M; q. C% Uthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

2 l& I6 I! ~3 K3 J0 [unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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- T# r3 G" ?7 L$ p' d4 Ufor life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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4 ^) W/ v8 }3 H# W* |& I5 |( q# jForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
' U9 M" G. H$ l/ b& N  C& o4 tfor the fabulous job they do...
: D2 l) P: l' q( w! L/ D5 bor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.