Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 O/ `% ]' H3 A) L0 C7 O* C% HMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
; a$ v; e6 y  p( n9 H% d# t1 h; ]and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
& w- W5 W7 I! n9 o- Hand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
, r) _# c* [* c6 bSome overnight travel required, including trips to
" v: Q( q1 e. O8 K5 Z$ Aprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
' K. d" ]( X8 n. r, LTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
5 s0 W/ O/ q9 {) VThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
; Y* c" K" J/ b/ ~Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
5 ]2 E) D7 {" O2 N4 t6 \and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
( L8 D8 N4 W4 g" D/ p3 Xsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" }+ G1 {5 z, m, dMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- i% w9 `  m( |7 `9 OMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
, v0 l  g# Y0 S1 u( {Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
# H( [' Y6 A+ e) T! jMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
- [& [0 s+ F4 W  T1 x% K9 LResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
  p' l) Q6 S$ a4 C5 l& UYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
" v* U& I3 G0 D- {) A4 p) pupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
1 {3 z, ~$ g/ @2 {8 }, VOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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% `3 c2 Y- c! i0 F- l. m: ]WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  N4 I/ B( x- AGet this! You pay them!
/ e  |3 t8 X* x5 f7 U. L1 [Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
% Z! X/ J& u, a. V; z: r; PWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 K" }& k, H$ _6 v; _The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

" y# J% s: N6 O: o% }0 L( QBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
% [' o6 C* l. U6 \& q! [& lno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


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  I1 b' r8 W, X! J/ s, ^$ c2 J** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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6 v' P5 T( `5 x- M6 w% mForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
+ F& M% ?% E7 G* S$ L% ~& }letting them know they are appreciated
  s8 x! o5 d' m) sfor the fabulous job they do...
, e* n7 X  D% O+ P* k, S% \* {5 sor forward with love
* R2 X+ I* l! A/ \4 v* Z. Bto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.