 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) g7 U4 @6 D# O# `Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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" m3 N/ x c' h) b- o$ J3 w8 AJOB DESCRIPTION:
P1 a: C/ D" E& @' Z- GLong term, team players needed for challenging," ^/ f+ x5 j& b* Y
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 d2 J! n) M, p3 D5 E# ?Candidates must possess excellent communication 0 [! S0 N+ J$ c& a4 p6 ~
and organizational skills and be willing to work
: F. } Z6 e% l# H5 S4 D# fvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% s7 f& Q$ Z; m( D) nand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. ' N4 m& c. F# K& M& [& a& F% K7 m
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
+ h' Z$ w. w2 v5 ?( Vprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# [9 ]3 J! U+ A Z# H( hendless sports tournaments in far away cities! & G( e3 A7 W5 d$ O! o+ W/ J( t
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
7 R/ X D' O. b) YExtensive courier duties also required. 7 j7 Z+ a" h! c2 U% A
& A' F3 `2 I; d/ [2 F: z# MRESPONSIBILITIES:
! x! t9 D8 O7 H& k z. g! g ]& A+ DThe rest of your life.
. b W4 O# l+ H% k$ \4 t& M% cMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 1 S$ C: d G o+ u4 \' V* x
until someone needs $5. 6 X f; I! D; l
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& B; t2 ?1 T* T3 U8 \! hAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' X, N- E) l8 c% f( C/ `and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 ^) O5 K7 t# T" o x+ n4 R Oin case, this time, the screams from
7 V- J2 j3 m' F1 v4 Ithe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
2 c. G: m- j: a7 I& Z8 `6 sMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, ' l8 I- `/ A4 {# J! C, H$ {
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 4 W6 e( d& h( x* y3 u9 ], t6 K
and stuck zippers.
( w2 L$ h8 p8 x) {Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and ; @4 }, @+ m- y. ], a R, n
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ D' Y2 p2 G7 B, T% K; t& mMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% @/ A+ e3 z! G% \Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, , \# J+ y, {0 {
an embarrassment the next. 8 P0 P: C6 y+ w0 y/ n) N+ f6 H
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 9 X0 a+ Z6 T& q/ x2 Y6 A) d9 F
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
, k7 ^- \+ [( J* n1 HMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. - W7 b9 j8 V* A; J- i; }
Must assume final, complete accountability for , R' J% _" U x ^# C' Y( P
the quality of the end product. / n; ?" I8 R# E# ~1 N
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and " J# W1 Z ~# c% ]) o; N
janitorial work throughout the facility. 0 M: v9 a. c: G9 V
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:3 D% K& h. n( o" ]8 e
None. ) s* Q9 C! W+ y* v5 k5 W
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, 9 ^; v1 h) Y# T7 W3 b
without complaining,constantly retraining and
- a* n! z- N: P% s- F8 aupdating your skills, so that those in your charge , K( f; ]9 c# C8 A1 h5 w
can ultimately surpass you.4 p4 s; b! `) S3 }
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2 ?. a+ M" U+ m0 k$ h* |PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
7 H2 B* @( @9 O. E; U/ C. jNone required, unfortunately.
: h+ |9 c' z1 J( VOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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8 w( b6 r6 O% Q9 Q- n/ KWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
# B j! b9 k0 E+ {/ K" UGet this! You pay them! 5 ]: J" {, L w8 `- V
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. ! n' d; ]# X& h& W" q
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 9 K* D) e6 J* e% t+ u
of the assumption that college will help them $ |( L" p5 Z# I4 ]7 `
become financially independent. ! K; ?; J8 O* A* c1 K; f
When you die, you give them whatever is left. # k. g0 z$ c, q0 p ~) r" X, A
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that , Z, L2 d( t. ^& Z
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
) [8 F9 f+ j. { f/ LWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 0 b; s1 I9 x$ Z' c; k6 N; j
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 5 ~ X- S7 G/ X
no stock options are offered,! a7 r: A M5 ?/ c q; y, ?" j
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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* v. k: W& ]) E7 A3 q' d/ hunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses " c& l) b# j A# {8 W, a
8 y. |! B6 u! [/ u: cfor life if you play your cards right.
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+ g y7 ]& w% U6 W ?** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
+ f$ I% `7 T. Xletting them know they are appreciated
& I6 }% `% h9 C" D" {: @for the fabulous job they do... : Z! s9 Z/ R5 |- [" k; c" A; [
or forward with love & W* C2 K4 X) h. G0 p( R X
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
