Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
, b" R" G: m/ ^- l8 B  PMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% J2 B9 w" [' s$ ADad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

5 u; U" @1 E) u
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

0 d1 a+ W3 s! M( y2 dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
: I8 d  x. B, h' s' |Candidates must possess excellent communication
4 {: C( T) N4 [, Fand organizational skills and be willing to work
7 n8 `6 I3 [. G+ F6 A$ qvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
, K0 D: u7 X& C) Pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
3 e% U2 J! `) W$ w  T) Bendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
( K/ e# W5 M  ~Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
! ]; Q4 m; u2 q$ C( g, A3 O
/ ?3 _1 F6 b( [3 E# h+ v$ ^% yRESPONSIBILITIES:
: C, }4 c1 X% JThe rest of your life.
( o% l. t$ U+ t% Q) M5 z4 d" w- oMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% R9 B; V; E; Y; ^+ iuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* L8 P! O( z; J# R. a2 ~8 dAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 N* H# O$ c/ n' n- Gand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
& a8 C6 S/ e$ a3 F/ Z5 Q) xin case, this time, the screams from
% b) Z2 y3 L1 ^7 d8 P$ {1 M6 R' bthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* e* N2 z- ]$ m. q5 Zcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ w" Q6 N. s/ T8 V9 L2 q  R: bMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
+ W3 D3 w  L8 L- j" ]' }9 kMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
0 d7 ?4 g* y0 `* a8 r9 n+ WMust assume final, complete accountability for
  C# r) i8 j, H3 H. [/ A. Z1 F7 ]the quality of the end product.
6 f9 P+ z3 n) S3 a" FResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
. {5 f$ a* f# K5 e3 d' Mwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
& I* [- f9 S1 v8 O- _
6 _+ @1 f# H, B: C9 b1 n& a
- L# p# {1 \/ ~% }PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 ]- I5 f! C* F. NNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

# y1 w. W- a" }. s9 \- K3 UWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
* V; @0 @9 m. x4 hOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 ^  Y2 E4 ^; j* e; `- ]- Ia balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- S. h- v5 R- O+ Dof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
. \% V! d" l6 s! vWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
$ ^5 `4 E8 J4 }3 v% D' H* DThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
4 E8 M+ X- l8 H9 I. v7 N8 D  Dyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
& m; a" i- y' f" T( ]While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
! P" E) n8 D; x* o8 n4 [+ E- lno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

8 S5 Y4 s0 M1 ]unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
" y( T6 C+ h% P0 T8 F
. U, U2 ~4 s* lfor life if you play your cards right.
7 N/ ^4 z% Q! Y

' |0 Z( j/ J3 m: F, `5 t

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
: x" H0 Q" W% [8 h
& D7 N4 t# x9 q! C% X* K; V. [( H
6 `$ B* E- a( \) A* `
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
: D3 b/ x" J/ ^1 f1 v6 y% H0 w. vletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
/ K- v' ]0 C! u8 l' Y2 mor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.