Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
, c0 p6 U( y) V" [* y1 |6 H& `Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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  S6 V" _$ \- Y  rJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 b( O; {4 u- ^" y$ `9 w( O1 v* qCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
/ G4 X; Z( b- _3 Uprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
! u& p; L9 t1 G( @& S0 V' M9 wExtensive courier duties also required.

2 s6 r& I0 D- }, D  ~RESPONSIBILITIES:
: p! g$ a2 s5 R1 k$ G" mThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
. j" M/ N8 t" A' Y+ [: F; Suntil someone needs $5.
; E& l- J3 f) AMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
0 V2 U) F' y- C% M/ L. D) Nin case, this time, the screams from
9 K1 S0 r. w+ W( d7 Ethe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 q3 t) T/ P5 b+ DMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
& \+ f0 f% E+ o4 Isuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 }: V6 Z  j( y. W( F" l& ~and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# C3 W9 `# r$ G  R# e0 }7 q# V- Ucoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
. y0 m8 Z! L* F# kMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 @% l3 Z  V8 i! _2 sMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
$ {) A2 ^( u6 J5 g9 M  @& Z, B% VMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% o2 O3 J( ~$ ~$ c$ D1 ^9 mMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) h. e  p  \/ G3 L( |Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
% ]7 c& S8 o# B2 g- ]! }without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
2 q8 Z8 v; d4 v" J$ S4 h/ Ycan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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7 Z! i- [' w* yWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. C! ]: E! R7 Mof the assumption that college will help them
, s$ ^. y# Q+ z0 w( f" sbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
* b% l! |4 k' ]) ]- O5 vThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( P" e0 e( j: h* d6 U2 oyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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1 o) P# e& U, c0 }BENEFITS:
0 a5 z( I+ I  `; L8 j2 V: bWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
) X. E* [7 T+ O$ u, Wthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
/ y/ b% O3 N( h1 zletting them know they are appreciated
2 O. E) Z6 K& Z6 _; wfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.