 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
6 q. b0 A# M& f5 n* E; N. }Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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( _4 T; f2 t2 e! a; P8 C) |+ yJOB DESCRIPTION:0 @8 q9 Q. b9 [8 q- H
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. : u; b8 S' K. y& S& U
Candidates must possess excellent communication ! {" C- O+ p+ r
and organizational skills and be willing to work - t0 m3 ^! ?4 s4 L2 Z
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
! r7 x, r8 u5 sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. & }# ~- X+ X- L" K* s
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 2 _' @& [2 W6 ~ b" C3 x) h
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
; I- t4 `' V# s1 {# \, Pendless sports tournaments in far away cities! ; `4 Q! d1 Q, K: A
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 3 e5 Y ?- h4 r/ ^$ v' r$ e
Extensive courier duties also required.
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( D/ v; \, @8 z3 |" {RESPONSIBILITIES:4 ?) s j3 y- O/ |) U
The rest of your life. 5 ?" l8 ~! j2 E( C* t/ I
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
/ l) S# M7 X0 R& luntil someone needs $5. $ b) ?8 c( m6 r8 ?
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. * }4 m. t+ r6 |- w: d2 A8 \3 F* O
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* J& R8 u) ?3 G8 E1 q* v* |+ A$ H. kand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' }) Y, S1 a+ H; A7 W3 Yin case, this time, the screams from
$ S6 l1 S' [& \. G% p$ nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ; @4 a1 E2 T# y+ \* `
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
3 e2 N' d6 N& \6 g1 q' ssuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 5 R5 y" N" g7 O! o( H
and stuck zippers. ) A* l$ T5 o4 \0 G. J% u- [6 g
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- w8 ~2 q7 E& p2 g- Ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects. ' [: E6 @5 ]/ e8 W+ U4 V
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
) I9 _: Z6 r0 Y2 O% M% [* WMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# I5 i8 q5 t8 }/ u* W# ]; f$ Ian embarrassment the next. % {( B3 x- W8 u1 S. o# {3 r0 o* g6 [
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a " z9 R7 @& [/ i# @5 E6 t
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' e/ \" p6 \( IMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ) V* o @# t1 a) ^* h! P9 O, C
Must assume final, complete accountability for
6 }8 {- F! w% ?% I% {the quality of the end product.
# ]! M& ?1 h _9 nResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and 3 s) P: I! V/ E; E6 O
janitorial work throughout the facility. , {/ ^) z- _- X
8 ^3 Q. x, q' Z8 E! J5 WPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:6 N+ _4 ~( |7 s
None. , [5 x% l$ s2 K+ i" I: z% l
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
w- u* d6 }1 D; a; Fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and u- ^+ o: u) j- t2 p+ |/ O- d
updating your skills, so that those in your charge ) }* H4 D* Y: }2 F5 [3 Q q4 w
can ultimately surpass you.: b' `3 D& l. f, D4 T Y
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. I- C7 X) a4 o! ?8 Z1 W5 S8 i3 ~None required, unfortunately. 4 O9 K" N+ U0 l2 a# ]" z! B9 T m
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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5 G0 t- B, s. cWAGES AND COMPENSATION: 3 ?+ @. a: B9 _7 G( w6 j, ^! B* f
Get this! You pay them! . ] ~% `& s' V) w3 P4 h0 W6 K" a9 X
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. * c5 ]. z- i0 l' V+ \( e9 F; p
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because % j0 Z: T7 {0 |
of the assumption that college will help them
" p: a' a# l8 g. V8 x) G$ Kbecome financially independent. ( [, g. x, k) T$ g
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
" i# ?/ Z' v3 O! P- LThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 6 W/ |7 \, P. D- \) J+ P+ q
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. + ]' O2 X( U/ d0 J3 N/ m
+ }1 j9 w0 h- X' H* aBENEFITS: , |- Z' o8 V! f* u
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
, u9 b, L' W% ?- B# g2 X( Fno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 9 j4 Y$ S' q' i4 a
no stock options are offered,
& l8 d$ {+ T) x$ Ithis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses , k0 x( c E( ~: m: }9 Q) R! `4 o9 L
3 v8 n5 B' i+ F' D" x# Ufor life if you play your cards right.8 ]) E4 O* |9 T/ ?5 N1 x% f, }: W
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **& u: m5 z+ Q5 M0 W5 [
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9 b8 D9 Y- V+ O( [, h+ w4 sForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, + _- w% D0 E/ A6 O( B* K- N5 H
letting them know they are appreciated
3 C% L2 c! B1 s8 [) n* Q- Bfor the fabulous job they do... $ H+ O: ?6 p z Z3 U# b; I
or forward with love
7 Q# K! V; P$ b" c9 Y4 a$ ]0 Ito anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
