 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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, A" r6 n5 i" m: O; vMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 D9 p+ d" H0 o1 B, ADad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa+ n( I% I2 O; ^, f) m f9 | j1 ^
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JOB DESCRIPTION:# U& w( r4 x# l( S9 r6 _
Long term, team players needed for challenging,; d! N5 c* M* n% j
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 9 Z6 {; [: H$ x6 y+ G+ q* e
Candidates must possess excellent communication
" W+ V, S: V& a6 Iand organizational skills and be willing to work ) S0 u; u3 B, U% R* v6 {" L
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends " O9 z5 x6 v1 Y E9 h4 v7 D$ o
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
a' y* n7 F8 }+ qSome overnight travel required, including trips to
" B1 n0 k, G) _3 @3 L; a5 Vprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
. e+ l8 Q8 l1 X1 D$ iendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, M$ ?4 i8 J- Z( h# [: eTravel expenses not reimbursed.
& `, a9 Y' f6 k! vExtensive courier duties also required. 8 ]- i' M2 K) J D S
+ K7 t' s& Q; DRESPONSIBILITIES:4 a' g! X2 E9 R& u5 x+ k4 D7 p! q
The rest of your life. # B( l" ?& R) y. ]' g4 H
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, # Y6 ~' e$ p/ }, l2 h0 }
until someone needs $5.
$ n1 u: I1 A% S5 R& k+ CMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. % y/ D2 h5 M; Y7 l% G
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule % P& a6 Y( F- z# b- q9 X( ~; v' U
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 6 |- d/ {+ n3 U) B
in case, this time, the screams from 2 }3 k' Z& C, \! a
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 7 x- f7 t. a+ Q: S4 H% @5 d0 D
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
9 k7 `; Y+ m) H; `$ @* e3 n' U4 Msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets ) h& v1 u1 V$ P0 G7 T
and stuck zippers. , R- o& u; u" |$ \7 A) X) a4 p
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and " B. g4 N7 K# f& U
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
7 z/ x1 f7 W7 i; G' b$ L& v6 {Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
$ F/ P& r5 }5 N% vMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 T* c) f& p2 i Uan embarrassment the next.
. C3 H9 y5 P& ?$ W& F# {Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a / e/ q3 B- f2 W+ w
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ; ~, k+ ]9 m* ~4 g: A0 f' @1 h' e
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. / j/ K$ `2 P: V' A" M! D! z3 `5 N6 k
Must assume final, complete accountability for
# q% F3 J( E) {6 r5 Cthe quality of the end product.
9 q$ L% F8 r1 {% q7 v }: O3 }5 wResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 Y* ]& l% d5 J4 P% g- ~janitorial work throughout the facility. - M9 q5 p1 b: F
b) n! c: u7 c- h" h, R/ X. BPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:( g L) @; x$ k" L) g9 K2 T ^
None. # Q- k& N# v& f% x) `8 D
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
/ a7 X( J' f% i3 Xwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
* P: O: h) L1 Y# {, supdating your skills, so that those in your charge 0 u' d6 W& \6 b$ v' r0 e6 I) o
can ultimately surpass you.
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! i7 m5 u7 r2 i6 q1 ?- [4 CPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: : j$ P' |! q& O! @( _' m
None required, unfortunately. + H( S) R% b% ~
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
& U% _8 o& H {. P8 TGet this! You pay them!
`' T' ]7 `7 ]8 A$ cOffering frequent raises and bonuses. 6 V. |/ F' l- f* j) D# A
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
# H1 B+ K7 f) w. ?; ?of the assumption that college will help them
4 n/ H0 d3 z5 ybecome financially independent.
1 X9 q8 C/ |& |% zWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. 2 V/ {! D5 m' E( G/ Z
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
9 A0 J* {! Y$ b+ Q' |you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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% q$ }( F \/ G u- RBENEFITS: + x3 {1 y# e$ \- {
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 1 n7 t7 Z& u% x0 Z( k c
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 |. V* v4 c( g# j3 B5 d4 hno stock options are offered,& Z: c# m% k. C% | D
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, ! f) X6 _/ T3 x8 n2 a5 J* q5 ?2 U
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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* @- i6 S3 O% G& ]( r& ofor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" D" V8 @* O9 k4 yletting them know they are appreciated e+ G: B* X* X% {0 t2 F6 O
for the fabulous job they do...
3 n2 P ?& U4 o4 @' a8 Q( Y5 `or forward with love 4 ]5 f8 S. T6 U9 L! e! K
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
