Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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- q1 n+ B" R  W% d" _; t2 `; d; [( ?JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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: B. ]/ ?/ t8 d8 ?permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
" M, K+ i' _; Q3 U1 Dand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
  w) w: {0 d6 d5 Mprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  S3 Y1 T# N; t$ cendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* U2 n5 k% Z& X6 D% S+ ITravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
) K. ]# f! s; {7 F* c. zMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& g; {$ p5 `2 U# G# e* \Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
4 b5 [% n. s7 B! XMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
, l5 g9 f( m( R0 T9 U+ hand stuck zippers.
; A' S: e+ M  e1 A; ^Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
, [/ `8 ], H, p& e* R7 yMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
7 H) r  \2 X/ r% _1 y7 m* \1 mMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
8 o! z  U" v! i7 x, F6 gthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

& _& L) j+ d) t: GPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
" M1 T0 P8 Z: \# e! G8 J5 T7 N! @without complaining,constantly retraining and
: z+ A: q, p5 M# N8 q) f& Nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
2 d( L9 e: I* ^  z. C$ }) {' HOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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6 b6 A$ R: _8 m0 S; F9 lWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
5 r7 S9 L* W* m; k. qGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
+ f. P1 c+ G6 i* s! b1 a# J  sa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
2 \8 @7 G, z1 v! r# {" c+ Pof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
$ n/ u$ O( t! `: e4 x$ Zyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

4 x& L3 `9 D" q$ @7 dBENEFITS:
; ]  s4 X3 b, w0 B2 JWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
9 j; j) P' N7 hno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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- _$ Z$ |/ x3 ]+ I) r4 rfor life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
* J, R8 V+ b  x# F+ [+ v& f" P* Zor forward with love
" @0 b' q  O1 h1 k( Yto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.