Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
6 R. C: S. f9 T( g  e- WMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
  i- E4 V1 c; H: V  c1 oDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

1 l0 p+ l1 l9 `- ]permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
6 P" n; f4 z0 M+ p: zand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% r0 A2 n, R5 d  X9 r& @; hSome overnight travel required, including trips to
& M( G) u  H3 @' P8 e% J6 Y; ~1 aprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
! {6 V/ q9 }( q/ y. k- }Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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* l2 K- k& d: Y7 V( `RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
4 c2 r6 U( J8 [5 u6 ?, A+ bAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
: ?) W. v: |7 `- V/ v0 i; Band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 t9 p- s5 P9 c, KMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  r3 t$ Z* D$ iand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
2 [# Q' ]$ E0 q/ R5 _0 tcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* G) H) P4 B+ [( F+ s+ ZMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
+ I) M* d; h1 s. [6 w% vMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
: n7 a) Z7 ]6 |& w7 `, `7 \3 CMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
- `4 k2 E- v+ e; _janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
! g  H& U" P: [5 w. ewithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


/ ^0 @2 ]0 ?/ u7 F: IPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& n3 }! [" C6 Q( _4 P1 UNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

3 r) V  M; {3 [  C# pWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
9 `" ]2 L2 f* N, ubecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
3 X6 `( F& z) ]1 w0 Xyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
. {% |8 t& |' G! ^  j) pWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
0 K3 W; g1 c. F4 p! pno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 [: i7 A4 N, a% r; M" r& Uno stock options are offered,
0 W0 v& }9 [0 Z3 [2 o, `this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
% n  W! ^' ^; t9 T2 o& d3 }
for life if you play your cards right.
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4 p4 M3 \: h+ H: r** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
% B" |8 F. E& d4 q) b- T$ Eletting them know they are appreciated
- e4 R2 K9 _& {) rfor the fabulous job they do...
* Q3 s5 f# T% a( x/ j- vor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.