Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
+ ^3 S. H4 T8 w1 ^. x3 ]  QDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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3 T. k" K- L  y; `9 GJOB DESCRIPTION:
4 Y. S9 l' B4 `Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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$ v: N  h4 o# X- P0 \permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
% F. e8 W: P$ Y4 ^- ECandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
% h6 V( c8 E* g0 o- gvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
9 i8 N# H( i8 N) n2 b  ]' _and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
  p: D0 A4 @: }. V' Y6 z6 qprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 D) j# B% {, S: P/ S1 Q4 DTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
8 y* }* @& s8 {3 @3 jThe rest of your life.
# l1 ]1 ]& L) JMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 E5 C+ R7 m9 p+ W' Muntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* o5 a) \& {. d( w7 U; lAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
* z/ e6 |9 B: Ein case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* f6 X7 G  i  X+ L$ oMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 y: Z7 _3 S% Y$ c3 a4 Q, ?) iMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  M) b; D4 }# Y9 f1 uMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
. A4 U6 }  q: f" L6 }5 V* {Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' z. M- K' i# h' e2 thalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

7 ?. e4 S0 b3 b, D+ jPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* ?0 t& c0 I9 w) O- l% t* T: aNone.
8 E& h: i8 ?, x# R' a2 ]. q4 w0 g" `Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
/ q3 h3 p% J9 a6 zwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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7 A# u, c  @; S0 n% p; U9 i& wWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
% n0 I) e4 D% o7 {8 I2 nGet this! You pay them!
  W* f/ v( h; v! B  f$ B2 F0 r8 COffering frequent raises and bonuses.
: g) e8 N& `6 b8 V& w  D) F0 Sa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
1 U' b* i- ?/ m: z5 i; D0 n8 c$ xof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
9 p: ^, m6 _  xWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
+ t- F" A* _6 }+ {% Z3 ^2 gThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
  x3 J) F& K+ q+ T) vyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

9 ^. P& b6 R9 p- q8 v2 mBENEFITS:
" A% @2 S4 a, eWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
7 H; o  @" r3 U! G( q3 l0 c7 e
for life if you play your cards right.

+ ^! E& U1 [9 \/ v) K

! W7 C) s  H: o' u0 l9 p- m
) u& M4 X4 |1 s9 [3 f5 j** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

% [5 ]/ H' F& w! `& ]
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3 g# e& W- @$ r4 xForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
$ f/ O/ K9 w1 ?+ m0 n& uor forward with love
7 F' m: y3 P. [6 {2 n+ X8 ]to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.