Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
, Z) p: H( E% Y$ l3 cCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
4 d6 x4 U) |/ w+ o. p, g4 u5 k. q' F' dExtensive courier duties also required.
3 E3 F, S$ `5 @; t; e% h' I. ?
RESPONSIBILITIES:
9 a  }" I1 H% FThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( q0 M% |& F5 A' g2 a( l9 f/ _Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
+ x# D5 n  n/ s! Mand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% t3 Y' M7 n' Lin case, this time, the screams from
8 U4 B) {- q. G  Fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ W' _/ k* i, y: d) cMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) ?5 Y4 H6 P2 X& Y/ e/ }& ~4 b  Aand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 j8 ^! }: Y2 V  p8 w+ \* O2 J8 ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
  G+ f1 r/ W$ ^' z! W8 _Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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" J; E  m& X; D! D/ |POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
. x. n" D, G- e" S$ w/ uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
# w" l. K$ L. I6 I' @# aupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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$ W# K- B+ D( }& \PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 w1 t. r1 q/ n+ ONone required, unfortunately.
5 i& `! A2 j, `6 _( B  C2 |On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
8 L  I4 k0 |- y% z9 Q0 K( `$ M- {
3 \/ H. s* }5 uWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
6 L# `: z1 w4 H: o. C# b4 P# GGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
  |1 A8 i! S: h- Ka balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
; i0 l  [  o& l& F* k. V" SThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
  H. j. B5 e# q& {9 O, a- W: Oyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
8 T# d( @# S0 Y; D5 xthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
' Z! J" E7 h/ l# v, G2 a0 e2 x
+ l1 B; [8 p! E: ]& b) Y5 \unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
/ ?; B# j3 l- j2 b
! A  I" [# D% Bfor life if you play your cards right.
" ]+ r3 b0 U% i. M+ D
4 d8 Q8 {9 }2 l! W# A1 P) S: |


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



+ k9 d" j- W1 y) u3 g0 ], L! NForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
$ u: x6 E8 F" bor forward with love
  `& U, G3 d& o3 X1 U2 Q0 g% vto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.