Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
2 ^  T& L( l0 b, \; S% b% aMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: w: ?& K# b- b( ]9 M/ V9 IDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


8 r$ Y5 J! l- x6 H: [9 }. sJOB DESCRIPTION:
( ]7 }4 m. \$ d9 _; x" J3 bLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
4 w) O% S$ S- ]& _1 S8 Dvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
7 \/ ^1 z' @5 ]. O& i  J9 land frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
: ~: D4 k: s; t0 w! Jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 k" R) S. p( \7 q$ [1 t! WTravel expenses not reimbursed.
, [( B4 e" T& y) L) kExtensive courier duties also required.

, c4 f4 a+ }1 [& ?- GRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
9 A5 P( T% q- E3 rMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. o7 n  ~$ k; uAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
4 p8 {, R: R; {( I! w  hin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* y$ \$ d, t4 b6 _Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
9 G- |/ ?4 i3 P6 g& qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* G+ t" h5 E; |# U% z7 E$ UMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
3 j/ z' p- I" P5 _- R$ TMust assume final, complete accountability for
8 o6 Q( }3 v6 A% Athe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 a; K6 D* v/ p  u3 {janitorial work  throughout the facility.

' s. D5 r6 s; U. O- ?% @POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
% k, J$ U! N8 y5 E1 ]2 owithout complaining,constantly retraining and
7 a1 H3 e4 q2 R! T9 A! B; e8 yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
- u$ l' {2 F5 S1 hNone required, unfortunately.
! S: C/ s3 d: Z  dOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
5 @* ~6 ^9 z! z- J1 G
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 b5 C. `8 N* u$ Y( gGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
# i* i$ t3 T1 t# TWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
& B/ T0 m* w! w- [4 c( z  H( GThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" r* k9 n1 E/ u$ ^you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
4 C2 b- d* H+ N! E
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
2 |  C6 ?) ?2 E, bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ W- |0 Y* w6 Q2 z1 qno stock options are offered,
# l* M, S" C7 I. V" Y# Vthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

2 P8 U, A8 d! D# f2 [- munconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
" e/ M! g/ Z$ w  m
+ W/ W( [0 G* I  h0 l7 ^for life if you play your cards right.
# O. `) K7 |8 T( g' ~: F
0 z' {$ l& [% U" O6 o$ i


# {5 o+ H1 `4 h. a) Y2 v** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" A' [% Q; ^+ ]* r+ hletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
: b/ t. M+ M; mto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

) _" V9 \8 E, ?) }; N, f. Y

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.