Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
; W% H' k, G* I9 q2 ?- `0 b* f: ?Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
7 f0 V: B  w9 |% DLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
; c& W8 T5 Z, i0 V  M& }Candidates must possess excellent communication
1 W( j; w, S  w) Y1 G  zand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) L3 z- E# T+ V' z" |0 W; F" ]and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
! y6 z2 V1 l# D7 YTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
( _% R$ w& ?: W$ a& W1 Z9 vuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
7 y% `9 t# H# _/ T: Z+ D. C5 _# @and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
4 f8 i0 `9 T/ f1 o  X' Wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ m8 g  w# ?6 f& d3 e, eMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: F2 N, s' l! u- D( band stuck zippers.
# y4 i4 C& B' |! ^0 g2 v7 ?( X5 Q, LMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- e" g8 J/ @( E* h( p& U+ r4 {! mcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
. P1 O) B0 G( n  n+ V2 mMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 `1 }! s* t" ean embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
9 l- @% P: y1 C; n( y% M2 r2 qMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
& d! [" q5 M' EResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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% L1 x9 l; q) YPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
8 q$ `; I. X- X9 d( E" M. Bwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
' o, p% F2 E% f* Ycan ultimately surpass you.
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9 Y: q( [2 F8 [  XPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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* d/ Q. O. \7 @4 aWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 w  P+ m% w9 A' b: HGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
! @$ g+ n' W6 K- p) J/ B; ?a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. T$ s+ N7 S) W/ f' D1 M( A9 `$ m" Wyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
1 F6 |; Y6 l6 _" B8 gWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; J  `, t: ~8 ino stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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  e: [6 H( I; T8 W/ zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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- n& G8 u" m8 efor life if you play your cards right.
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; s: z8 a' k& K1 P, R* Q! `** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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9 L7 f  ]. e6 WForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
6 p8 D# D5 p0 r4 h% g2 Gfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
: r! Q) L, k' Eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.