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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:# S  P4 D- f+ A  m+ X
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
6 O/ f6 }2 Z# Q1 Z: {0 w& rDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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( p3 L0 O# c# R! zJOB DESCRIPTION:
5 f6 p8 W- v6 S0 G8 z  QLong term, team players needed for challenging,+ a' y* ~* Z8 j6 t2 {; B' b

7 m9 n0 S4 J: u- S0 E1 o9 ?9 f" Cpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
( V5 C/ g' R2 C: oCandidates must possess excellent communication $ p) M7 y/ N- d, a2 L6 A6 q; V9 N
and organizational skills and be willing to work ' K+ p# s3 r2 _( A* ?
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends % b$ F6 I. L0 H1 _( P
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 1 @) J" R/ R8 J9 F
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
' L4 U1 ?6 ?& V& P6 ~0 Qprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and   `# C$ q! F' s8 O2 f9 @$ f% z  ]
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 9 C2 ~8 `7 N% V: N
Travel expenses not reimbursed. / }( V) ?0 e5 Q0 `% T3 ?
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:- o( Z0 o- H+ b9 S) X
The rest of your life.
7 d3 G; [! q( f- ?' U  D- t. W6 dMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
1 l" h$ o) T0 d. ~until someone needs $5. ' X1 M8 ]! R/ k" X$ r5 w  v  ]6 P
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. T. ]5 }3 d- d( uAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 5 K- C2 w! C! _+ l  Y
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
( t" h+ B1 @9 y( c- u/ Uin case, this time, the screams from / J- y5 h( g1 a0 m5 G
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
; H5 M0 y4 R% ]" T6 O  L* K' b  j) `Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
9 D5 G5 p! Z4 qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 6 p: J( E+ K0 J
and stuck zippers. % G: S0 O+ h! M- Y1 o$ Z  H6 Q1 K* Z
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 7 D: ^% {8 |8 C  J: w+ R; @
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 5 m4 k0 Z( y  |  g1 N: `& q
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. & M1 r/ D6 V; k# J; m1 J, M
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, ! }7 L  g1 g3 S$ w& E6 m0 @
an embarrassment the next.
: [9 V4 m4 a, @! h0 d/ vMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 N8 [, d& z5 e, N/ \half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ' M" _  o! ^" k/ Z1 |$ z( X
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' P6 j  _6 D3 s0 T; y) ^Must assume final, complete accountability for . ~- T% S/ O. p: q: L
the quality of the end product. & O0 w2 ~% ^' N2 W3 S
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and - t# f: `9 e& Z" K5 A6 P0 H8 m9 o
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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8 |* o7 ]- ^0 ^5 Q' S/ WPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:% e/ E" ^6 d( m6 j1 m: Q
None.
. y" ^" z9 i+ e' h( iYour job is to remain in the same position for years, % B3 E4 ?6 j2 L; L% E' B
without complaining,constantly retraining and
( `7 c! }) v% w  B) X/ v4 bupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
  F" q' `1 J& ~3 Ccan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 ]( t' S# Q9 Z- q2 x" pNone required, unfortunately. , F1 N  L) w7 W/ p& M
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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- P. R" V8 \/ q$ H4 \WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 [5 s  Q. x. C, E1 y! xGet this! You pay them!
3 Y( _4 S- k; Y/ C7 ?. ^4 a: K$ \: K  OOffering frequent raises and bonuses. , a3 h& l) o8 O: k& A
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because ! O! I5 j* B; [! L
of the assumption that college will help them 1 F6 g" }  r9 p  N2 ^# F
become financially independent.
3 S& ~( K) b- ~# p9 m7 ~When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% D7 U4 O9 Q' L/ u5 m; i4 hThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that * \  A% e, |: j
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: ; {' _2 n7 T& @
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ' V( s; v1 k2 X6 Y9 u6 S
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
4 j7 U$ m( T1 _2 wno stock options are offered,# b0 Q7 A9 e0 k7 x+ B
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 2 q5 x: ^" t2 T/ d1 _

% j# @0 ]8 Z+ E8 \1 tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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* n1 t. B4 H1 @5 F1 l5 ]; Ofor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **  C+ s, ~1 y5 x1 m

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, % y6 P6 X7 w' \$ V  r
letting them know they are appreciated 8 X- G0 \; ~1 |) G! w4 O
for the fabulous job they do...
% l& C7 a1 K+ N* H; q2 Por forward with love
* y+ K3 Q* Q8 e2 w  Yto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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