 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma . V" T; U5 K+ l9 y" k3 N' N
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa) d# }8 N6 e* ~) m1 v1 g% {
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JOB DESCRIPTION:! F! @" p2 L9 G$ K* ?$ p! z4 l
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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8 Z+ O5 a' B e( ?permanent work in an often chaotic environment. + l) w0 a, d4 V/ W9 b( O
Candidates must possess excellent communication
/ c* ^: \ v- P3 D/ Uand organizational skills and be willing to work
0 R4 ~* \2 M0 R9 tvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) \7 D0 \0 ]& ?5 D' Y4 W4 B8 Jand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- `7 _0 U0 I2 `* j6 c1 _7 TSome overnight travel required, including trips to 4 n4 w" Z: q. K- y8 s3 r/ b8 _
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
* A, Z3 @5 n9 A% o' a# j& oendless sports tournaments in far away cities! . _: F; A" ?) J- D
Travel expenses not reimbursed. ) W# ? q D m
Extensive courier duties also required. 4 v4 A; D* {6 m' l: r2 b) o
8 g% n( G' H& S- |/ O: yRESPONSIBILITIES:" R0 }+ w& n/ a5 h% H
The rest of your life. ; h) U: P# ^5 L
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
2 }( b! v. d1 b0 u3 o# v) suntil someone needs $5. ( h3 R& z' R; f) m
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. ! g Y7 e) P% t/ j- ^; t8 v
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
& `+ J' Y* q s, f2 E% u) L. r9 hand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" m4 y6 M/ ~9 h; M& iin case, this time, the screams from * L3 W9 Q2 g F5 A) m2 r9 y& X! v4 |
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ! i2 M/ E% `4 Q5 e3 V" n
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, % k- u. F3 V. X$ k$ D- C# {
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets : T4 u. N- M# q9 e% _, D; m
and stuck zippers. ' ^% z0 ]6 W2 H J d4 R. o
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
d% }* `: G3 w) n- kcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. 0 V2 M2 H! ?, o+ [# Y
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. " z4 f! L5 d6 T! x) p# O! B* D" I( F
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 8 @* C/ t% i$ B! N0 V6 t7 W$ e
an embarrassment the next.
0 [4 ~5 U% t. t, s* Y$ _5 }- cMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- a/ D5 g( @1 [* z$ E+ p- ]half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' m$ S' u" t! A$ z6 I/ kMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ( ^# Z2 W3 f$ j- y
Must assume final, complete accountability for 7 G5 o S+ w# s: r
the quality of the end product. ! L* ^6 w4 x, V) v1 m3 h6 v
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. \! H4 O8 G/ D0 kjanitorial work throughout the facility. : M$ C0 T& e9 B G9 ~/ @; F( o) b* |
1 Z3 |, l% G9 wPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:8 Q' T3 N+ U% B( U- S2 ?7 P& S: e% ~
None.
+ ~" ]* A3 J1 W! v3 CYour job is to remain in the same position for years, , d7 _( u$ M8 \) g
without complaining,constantly retraining and 0 [4 r$ \% z+ ^& z+ h
updating your skills, so that those in your charge : A& u& `& s' h; ~. X j9 _4 w
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ N6 D* v: y) r# F* V; S- PNone required, unfortunately.
+ C$ Y( Y% w' cOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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! Z5 w3 _: Z/ N! W+ W4 s1 _6 h* SWAGES AND COMPENSATION: ( I- y. p4 x- |3 {6 y% Y- N- I
Get this! You pay them!
2 ^& [: S. E) w2 N$ U% p& F) w. {Offering frequent raises and bonuses. " M) X( h5 N+ d# D) f1 H( r* C
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 4 F+ I" n0 R( ?6 b9 ^/ C
of the assumption that college will help them
6 i" E7 G9 Y3 _1 Cbecome financially independent.
@- M8 q# B. P6 f5 }When you die, you give them whatever is left. : ?. T6 z! k+ }9 S) o
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
- ?/ X6 Y, `: H9 ~$ m9 Tyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. # p! z% v% r0 D! c3 b, d- x
# Z9 C9 h# D2 hBENEFITS:
? @$ o, f0 u( R/ NWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
8 g+ M, L$ G6 B" g& f7 n+ \4 |no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 9 I9 F/ R' q; \$ m& x
no stock options are offered,3 o0 s6 r2 _; ]. C
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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; S- t! e1 h. Z1 Q% ]; nfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **5 T# O- Z0 q- b* n" j
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) F4 d, f6 Q1 n5 [" T2 I. KForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
/ S5 H& y9 `5 cletting them know they are appreciated ) t/ B) [, x* l: ^/ ]
for the fabulous job they do... 8 {4 d9 G: R3 C
or forward with love 7 {9 b* B* E: A( c9 t& n
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.4 M. T% ?, F Q- w" I
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
