Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
1 Z) D8 n4 \" P6 p0 c9 O( G. D% k6 VMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
, m* j" x/ W! EDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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/ T! T* E) Y8 G( _& [7 iJOB DESCRIPTION:
+ L' N8 Y) u. v8 I9 _6 s& P( |Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 W: a5 R. A# {Candidates must possess excellent communication
, b+ b' p" Y( f& gand organizational skills and be willing to work
% u3 }1 V+ G2 ], ^0 B7 t; g( h& d! mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
; i6 k& K" b% k8 R; W9 yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
# J! V. ~# `) M, f3 nprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
% |, m7 x" x: K2 kExtensive courier duties also required.
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1 _, Z2 c9 K; K5 GRESPONSIBILITIES:
# M* D  Y8 R+ c! G1 oThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* Q# L7 G4 G$ y8 S! v. Yuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% t; [5 l2 f7 B8 X) Q1 Cin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
- U5 n  r! [$ MMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
5 G7 @' T  v. |) X! M; fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 K* g) S- }8 tand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% I' ?: W1 C' K/ VMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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1 b: j  L( a& |4 q" vPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
  s0 {- d2 \  ^9 U) I( xNone.
' P) \# G, N$ ]3 k; g. FYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 g( y+ ^& n$ p2 H# P! Hwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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: ?) o! b4 j, R/ TPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ s3 B6 o+ m. _* i6 E+ |; o/ u" ]None required, unfortunately.
0 u3 |4 U: h8 m" V% w+ e- ^5 m2 ?4 QOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  l) i8 L- x" c& _3 X% WGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! o. M6 q  A, c5 J4 G& zof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
; }' |2 ]# O, \0 O; ]/ w# HThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
- w0 b+ I! _& c% j! tyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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# @( }; W* w* a' UBENEFITS:
& M( g' O3 x. H9 y1 Q- iWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
$ g7 [% J2 P7 ino tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
3 Y6 D+ V, g5 D5 \this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

) N& ^/ N7 w4 A# _# y: O' Cunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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) b! S- `' P  Wfor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



: D2 A/ ~! n1 h# |0 f8 nForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
% T9 x" }/ u+ z- |. J' o# \1 ofor the fabulous job they do...
% U* _2 {& e% ?1 Wor forward with love
! B* V9 j5 q! ^/ G8 oto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.