Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
6 i' m. W( M* h5 k: B- J% wMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
  m5 f# v8 D) l. B0 qDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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9 @8 p; p5 q; ?) O0 D5 rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
) G/ z9 d! b6 y  W3 Rvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
! ~' O- O9 g* Q$ f( W& Z1 i& l2 Mand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# `: X- m6 e8 L2 \3 F4 OSome overnight travel required, including trips to
- d; X8 O4 t2 T% R' V% ]; Hprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: B- G7 p6 d7 N$ O* t1 \- jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
7 c6 K& u  @( T8 M2 E/ \  @$ p: D; n8 uExtensive courier duties also required.

  h; h% F% c8 R: v+ U0 FRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
$ J; z1 w* z) ~8 r) l' SMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
# W7 m/ X7 @2 H! B7 K0 ZMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( M. C5 B6 _1 Z0 pAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" ^# Y& R1 i0 Tin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
: F3 Q0 F; q7 B# T; f! k# `7 aMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: T7 F: a7 W1 J6 X  B/ O  Xand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) Z, W" f! L; S9 e; T1 p% xMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7 J9 n2 x2 \$ bMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- }0 }, Z# i* i1 Ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
) c5 ~2 g  x# u, G. ZResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
- @; u* ]) S% E# `3 \+ djanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
% a  [. c- `0 K; E" M9 }; V. swithout complaining,constantly retraining and
) n; C5 w: D4 ^% _updating your skills, so that those in your charge
- \% z# E/ r6 ^) J0 e3 w# hcan ultimately surpass you.

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# W" T2 b2 U, A' m7 cPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
; }: e4 K# i& N& p7 g* oOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

- s* t8 D4 l# }; T1 IWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
. u& u4 U: ~& i1 W  w% u+ }Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
& {; {0 G7 H% cbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
4 V% I# {5 v+ G8 HThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
9 d6 m% k+ _: D' XWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
1 z! y' F: M& uthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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! [0 `# s9 w+ c) [  C4 Runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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  ]0 E4 a1 K' G0 o: kfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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: I; @& P# S  q+ c  S+ I0 rForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
& ]1 a2 U3 B% K/ s! X( Dletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
+ ~$ ^$ S7 {- kto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.