Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
7 ?, ^/ g+ q9 a$ q8 k- XMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


5 g  n. \2 G2 u( U; t5 p: tJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) b$ v* m% x- u8 N- f: A8 bCandidates must possess excellent communication
7 I5 X# Z% V5 B8 U2 M+ band organizational skills and be willing to work
7 }' ^9 A: K0 s3 N: ]$ j9 [variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: C7 O1 i4 d6 B3 X! {and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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8 f/ b# M$ R: C& e& E) A6 R( vRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' Q2 N" y5 e6 X, W5 u+ rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
) d3 V5 p& f7 D; e, w3 p( cthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
3 d. X3 R! N# wsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
, K4 s0 V( x' o- `& \9 dand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 \/ F  i% F0 ^+ I8 G; q. s% MMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! p) C& w! z9 _1 Z# P' w, k( D' q! DMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ ?, S$ y5 i4 L7 Y" {! Thalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% E! ]+ h. X- I4 v3 A6 @$ u2 TMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- ?0 ~* R: H* iMust assume final, complete accountability for
+ \, N- A( u$ K* o+ o; M7 Q" Lthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- |; Q% ?& L% O3 E( ~( i% }$ e# uNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* d8 N6 ~% I* `5 l5 awithout complaining,constantly retraining and
% J! ]# ], O1 L9 S$ Yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
; }7 B& G4 O; @$ Zcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
' h6 s' `  c, @. G) e5 e% uOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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% L2 L# H: R0 l; P2 b) ]- D& hWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
8 N7 ], W/ b. t$ G+ Y+ ]a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( B8 z( X( F3 c1 `  M2 T5 eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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( w9 \& ]' L# t- {8 q( P" X0 l% G, e" dBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
6 o8 W1 _! B; g8 S/ C* T+ Tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

" D+ s( y- q, J7 runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
# i- V; J( d" ]/ v/ ~
1 O! I4 [/ O  Hfor life if you play your cards right.
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# ^/ x1 l; c9 u' a3 ?% E! x** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
' H) Q6 U1 G6 B! o5 C. c) C
& s5 Q3 C+ A1 R

- `. H1 L. i7 g( D8 F$ `7 P0 NForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
: u; Z/ p* S1 P- I+ H, _5 P/ Rletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.