Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
1 z8 V0 c( m( m# A: b3 ?Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

8 X( H% P* I- l6 ~' `! epermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 w, m6 X. N& c+ b1 D) X9 rSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
3 k1 \1 r$ o% g+ bThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
: S4 b7 a1 B  w- o4 Pand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
9 {- G6 s! x. }$ L* {the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
3 {) v" [  `1 @5 |( E. jMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
" x: a. z2 Y% i0 S1 t: Sand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ d4 U! l$ q3 n2 s, hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" F$ o& b0 K8 Z. d' gMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
0 E' v" O" I9 T4 G2 j3 nMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
: f/ w5 U% Q2 A% x/ C) q+ Uan embarrassment the next.
$ B0 M1 c! r# F+ UMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ W3 A+ |. q2 E" vhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ a* @7 d5 I0 X3 [; gMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* m, Y; H5 V; R! W* WMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
9 \0 N' D5 f4 C( X7 U0 {- s- fResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
/ B3 l) Q, S/ m) p) r4 O. F; R) Xjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

9 Y$ @& }* C- Y! o) P6 F6 ?POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
# s9 u8 t' z: s# j9 Y; V5 z, `/ _without complaining,constantly retraining and
0 m" V% c! W2 ~6 }5 Cupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
9 z$ e8 V& C2 C# Dcan ultimately surpass you.

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2 F$ H% W! |7 ?& DPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
) `5 B7 A+ W& p- I' z2 lOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

8 r( W: A0 G: J5 ]0 HWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
) \4 v" e7 j7 w% }" KOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
4 ?3 @- q# U) u6 G- N* U5 vbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
3 V' ?! q. {# c/ [9 D3 s8 O0 J9 u& t! Zyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
, g$ T8 ?. Y  z1 cthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

" j4 W) d1 `5 Y; v' funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
+ ~, s" v' ~$ ]: ]4 s- [- m+ e
" b/ C. H2 Z# _6 E5 U! I" Jfor life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* w  V' ]7 n1 R" C! [letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
- d8 |% J- C0 nor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.