Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 w4 Y6 J, F5 V  I: z; IMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' v& f+ e3 P* [. H) d+ N' hDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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7 [4 |9 x" R6 D1 Qpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
5 ^& V+ U5 f4 t, ]8 h% N5 Band organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
( ^/ S/ s, L0 W' U% Cendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
5 g! s' G* I+ T/ w6 l$ z/ _/ a3 nThe rest of your life.
$ W: C' w9 G% s  Q0 C/ d6 S" cMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
3 I, f. `' d; j, zuntil someone needs $5.
8 p' V& P- T; D% l7 dMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ |. }3 q( |6 ], }$ h# e7 EAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 U: B7 P6 o0 }in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( u0 T8 O) z+ P# m4 {/ R  NMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' g. g' ]4 p; l$ L. Jsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
. g$ y+ F  i$ d8 G7 iand stuck zippers.
8 o' M" z" Z) ^, P2 j& MMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% M$ {9 X6 H& {( ]$ Fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
- [/ @% `3 w! jMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
! b3 l- x1 P, l' wMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
* Y( L2 l( j. p  Q( H9 cMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
7 d7 A" v6 u3 [7 n. ]the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

/ z. [% a6 B3 \POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
8 Q6 d$ z6 a0 B# o$ n, k/ Vwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
! f1 h  m' E8 T5 H% Kupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
- S( K5 E8 ?' h. D6 C* q; p, Jcan ultimately surpass you.
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3 G$ Q% Y, K% e+ F( N( v' D9 \PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
) _0 t- `9 ^1 O! t) INone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

1 M3 k. x1 ^% U; D& B  ]WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
! `2 u$ n) J; r) kOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
: V$ p7 R3 K+ R- Bbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( m5 t4 o9 {- |9 |7 H; a1 Jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

( Q9 u# T/ t+ [4 F; aBENEFITS:
) @2 x7 W* R2 Y' S! IWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
- z9 K3 S$ m0 V; G6 X5 P5 ino tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( S  M% y" q- t' ^- r6 gno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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& o7 V$ f% @% P. v6 `) |unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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( B" O: h* u; R" Rfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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6 K8 I, G; ?; J. zForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# j  x) h) N8 S2 Oletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
& V( u  n8 d2 u0 G. R+ m2 K; I  D8 o: Qor forward with love
0 M) ^2 H) n( O9 Y5 cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.