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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:9 \5 S1 L8 ^6 t$ n; l# o5 `6 B
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 N0 _( E2 c, u6 pDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:9 Z4 Y. v9 r! c, c8 M0 o
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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. _% t6 s) t% S0 k( apermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 t( q1 P- m2 UCandidates must possess excellent communication
5 \7 \7 M2 }1 a) _1 F% p" |and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ d, b8 Y' o2 A* Avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) E, z; w% T) E- e6 U1 Zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. ! ~( W! p/ a% t( F
Some overnight travel required, including trips to + C& {1 M7 Y( J: w
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and . E: P/ b6 r/ c) z" G# F& L
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! , I' {% W1 \$ F, n
Travel expenses not reimbursed. ; M3 I2 a& @& E
Extensive courier duties also required.
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  N6 V8 ~. R6 Z: D1 t' N% oRESPONSIBILITIES:
6 Z' `- \8 E2 TThe rest of your life. ) b; v' T, M) v, [7 K4 K
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
  Y. X4 t: G0 ~8 d/ Quntil someone needs $5. ' ]/ C5 Z- B8 `, e
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. . L( P4 @0 s4 H- ^) _5 J
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule $ `  k/ L/ ^* ^& {' _8 d% g
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
9 T& V  ^2 @( j/ A5 w0 k% b& Sin case, this time, the screams from 6 t! c' u$ k% P7 k
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
- R2 \2 q: k. G: i; ^Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# d3 G) P# Y# j+ bsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 1 _3 a; O! k3 t
and stuck zippers.
. ^; g4 U# Y" l- XMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and % d7 `+ q$ V, r2 Y4 d0 `7 C# F& h
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" P6 ?; _& p, KMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 n4 Y% O- C" ]! Z6 U% e9 kMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 J! X& n. a2 A6 t: }) k. I4 N' r+ N8 ^an embarrassment the next.
' Q# ^8 [. V* W& U* g6 zMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ k, _. W5 d' I+ P, y) Bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ( o. i0 x( p1 O% H# z
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ' u+ R$ B1 A0 }$ N
Must assume final, complete accountability for 9 a7 K7 X1 h( v
the quality of the end product. 1 o1 v' F* G5 E+ I% T% A
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and # C2 u( \; ^  n1 N
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
4 o& p. ^2 f* kNone.
% B# f: ]3 a6 M  Q' nYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
" ?8 G# ~* c, z% cwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
* `/ ?3 Y3 [$ G3 T5 z4 B! M3 {updating your skills, so that those in your charge
: O: _# y- |' G4 Y- Tcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" n5 |$ a. D+ b4 H) Z7 P/ qNone required, unfortunately. # P0 I* U/ I) l
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 W. N1 c4 \: }Get this! You pay them! + J/ T8 Y5 i% Z, A/ a) L! ^- W$ c. w
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 3 E( j9 r2 @# P' X% u4 E
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 7 X6 i. k4 j7 ^! [
of the assumption that college will help them " B) H* z* k0 L
become financially independent. " [9 z" W" Q4 j4 @! k  `8 {0 g- ], b
When you die, you give them whatever is left. : T& D8 q" F" y
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that . N+ [4 Z  A+ Y) V. g) p
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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. @/ i  M: @$ j# F  S, n, gBENEFITS: 5 }; ^5 }; W" o; [% q; w
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
! b; o* z& K: [no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
! d6 q+ D8 x0 @3 r# J. O$ nno stock options are offered,
7 \9 u3 H% o% R+ K6 Q/ ithis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses $ ^+ `" Y$ i( h/ n( z% W( W
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for life if you play your cards right.7 k1 M. z) ]5 m7 j( a
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, / e# v; h9 U; A' J0 {0 w& s3 R4 W  P
letting them know they are appreciated
& Y7 w7 x, R4 k' w. s- |; J1 vfor the fabulous job they do... & l0 S6 f9 S1 V  P3 {7 J9 n
or forward with love
3 z: s* ~7 G( w! I& g+ A+ eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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