Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
8 q3 b- S! x9 B% vMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
0 |2 H& Z# b6 N% |: PDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
) v: `/ P$ u8 O0 O# _4 mLong term, team players needed for challenging,
' i3 j5 k+ y7 [+ A8 e4 ]
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# L3 q# e+ O2 A; ~Candidates must possess excellent communication
0 f0 N6 s$ S8 W! E- v$ r4 Dand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
, _: x5 S5 [) q, G) {' GSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
/ H3 F0 i. [5 @" bExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
, @3 ]! j. v) ^0 M( n7 Y! Z# @Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
: V, e9 l$ O6 y0 a' ~9 A* N* Auntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
3 d2 z; l  f/ W0 X8 p, Q- H8 zAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
% J3 u: q1 U- X, R1 N+ ~, Pand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
) ~9 ?' p! a4 O! }7 ein case, this time, the screams from
  k8 p) m, y) N  l, {# gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, S& {- j3 U4 Q- D* jsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
2 |7 v3 w* X% V+ k' xan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
1 x2 N3 n* ~( R( P4 Ghalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
0 Y% i; \$ `+ T5 B# N9 c" EMust assume final, complete accountability for
5 g* z% v* a0 [9 J. F/ othe quality of the end product.
8 F. K3 a/ w! e. Y" ?Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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& V; E; S3 q/ [* _POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
: I) S2 W- D' `+ yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
, s' j+ R  |; D/ q) l& M$ wcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 z3 N" C* b" k5 X$ Q* mNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
* |9 _5 e  Z8 N3 e  s& c
3 _, e* t+ ~. u( L( p1 `WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! O4 t' J/ R2 O' s6 I( `) uof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

$ ~9 \  b# h! D# @# D7 @* m/ t% UBENEFITS:
+ P# o( k6 @/ Q& UWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
& u) z: |" d7 a. H/ Q% @  F+ wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

$ P- @/ W( ]* F& s5 o# h5 }unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
* i9 g  y' F/ i2 w) l
+ ]. p) \% x3 H) Sfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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/ |9 g2 j8 y% @! F1 d- E9 [  D0 i- YForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
. o2 G6 `  s) Y% Dfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
! c3 I5 S9 T- O. E( y# Tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.