 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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# r' e, M7 L+ D' |0 D# F2 G8 hMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma ' {. U' Z/ E7 Y! l) K: a3 F3 D! | ]+ [
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:/ y5 m+ `3 k5 @6 G
Long term, team players needed for challenging,: V m1 ~. k6 C6 `
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. ' S# f9 ^0 S' D% K& ~: g+ |1 x
Candidates must possess excellent communication
2 ?: r# a g7 V7 F8 X4 [. k1 V3 uand organizational skills and be willing to work
' d) r- y3 K0 U5 h2 W/ m! Y! Gvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends * x0 x7 l: k$ p" Y2 k* t+ |2 _& u
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 6 r$ K: ?* k- v* p9 x; d: O- |
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 5 m3 I6 p; A( V0 b5 U& `/ f
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
! K5 J5 H( I lendless sports tournaments in far away cities! 1 a& T8 C& e% n* y% Y4 m+ E- |. [
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
) r9 j9 D( p4 T# W, W4 PExtensive courier duties also required. / D" w2 a; m, K0 Q f# V
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
% Y8 T8 k. l8 ^" MThe rest of your life.
" K; o% B; y( q- G% I) G, c# _( iMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 p4 Q! n* W$ C# _* T/ {7 T# puntil someone needs $5.
( l3 g8 c. W0 D4 v7 Y: U" s4 UMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 7 Y/ J% x+ ]5 ]8 b) z1 H
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* ~( s: v, t3 L2 Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat D% f; D3 r/ O* v$ v
in case, this time, the screams from ! M2 b- `/ o2 ]% C' p( h* d% w( k
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 4 i1 H9 z! a* d
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 }1 s: d+ f; b" X& b1 rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 8 T$ p6 Z: D' P, Y$ L. x
and stuck zippers. - r/ ?* b/ ^1 j, }
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( q$ j% \5 A- `6 n5 Bcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 w& ]3 [' @0 W$ {( O ZMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 3 |: A/ A/ i/ A1 O0 p1 Y! p/ e
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, ( H8 a4 r% v S( j
an embarrassment the next.
0 }0 k: L, M, \4 i* GMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& ?( K, ?6 u3 Y3 zhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
0 M0 ?9 F% L: y: Z/ c" AMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. + N/ k6 }3 V" Q( [/ P% W: ^ z% m5 \8 Z
Must assume final, complete accountability for ! e6 R4 c2 W1 W' c8 I+ f3 i7 t
the quality of the end product. 9 Y8 N5 J5 E7 k* x4 u
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. a4 E4 T$ X2 Y ]janitorial work throughout the facility. 1 {& N: D. F E" n$ f0 O B
% ] k2 h+ R! g$ M, GPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:6 O i& ?& i$ P; V
None.
4 M! p& N7 u- FYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
- d/ c: A+ Z7 f9 l/ ~without complaining,constantly retraining and , o+ \, t- n \7 t5 b& l; R
updating your skills, so that those in your charge 6 ?- ^. o* \2 E3 _! H2 E: m- |: D
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
2 s' r2 j3 B }/ e/ J3 k* P7 QNone required, unfortunately. , V) h+ P% q* }, ~3 M' ^9 k
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. : ^6 ~1 [2 h7 {1 J+ @8 H! E
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: ) j# v) N; u7 B+ _6 X R& q
Get this! You pay them! : a' A5 c/ M7 D8 f+ }
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. - @- c+ b, h0 ]8 ?8 [
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because $ W3 B1 }' e j" a' ~* Q
of the assumption that college will help them
( A$ H, g! g5 j& `1 Mbecome financially independent.
# K, A: q; d1 qWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
% E- e; ?& ^) e! iThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 x9 j c; E3 _" a* Xyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
5 f7 E; z! }( l0 GWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 B( h+ l% i- e+ Dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" y1 x% q* w( ~4 R2 f* c& Qno stock options are offered,
; g. c" Z" T5 d4 P! _this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 0 M6 o7 H+ W, r/ a: C3 ^
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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N% E& e- @( A, t- LForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
5 y) q7 g* x: jletting them know they are appreciated
* s8 T" b* b7 Y, Sfor the fabulous job they do...
' y* Z6 r4 Q2 G ^6 M1 h9 P; J8 s$ F4 Uor forward with love + j8 v% s. r/ b ?2 u
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
