Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
, E/ k) P& x& B; k: a$ `and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
) n9 j) q2 M! r4 e: ^primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
1 F" V- j5 S; R/ Oendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ P+ d9 S! f% r9 H& S3 @) RTravel expenses not reimbursed.
5 T" l8 ?) i  D2 LExtensive courier duties also required.
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# ~2 M4 h1 V3 v# a; VRESPONSIBILITIES:
6 U- P& y* Q# `/ z* U% ]& RThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- @- E0 P( b; q  `until someone needs $5.
  y) [5 m! o% @Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* P$ ?& Y. w1 J9 j% Yand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
( |0 P2 ]+ G" [7 zin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" k& p' x+ Q2 G: BMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' N  A0 V1 n; Z# f/ l2 m: ]and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
1 q; {( j  B5 P6 J- vMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
4 A0 M% j- J; A& C& \Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ n6 u9 M1 ^( q  c6 N  a! QMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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9 T& W1 t. g4 M& YPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
& C% P+ s: F& t: G6 l' U7 T% SYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
: a4 B3 T- i% uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
' Y5 Y- ?+ D( K+ E7 I. R; ^On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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/ h' N, W0 [8 h6 SWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
% e  s2 D) ]: m! k1 L: ]% la balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
1 `/ |7 H, Q" X& @2 rbecome financially independent.
+ ]  H8 V8 B+ W6 LWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
( \& b0 w! J- JWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
. t1 p. Z; ?: ?2 z3 \, othis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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/ h" D" T8 u, J, cunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
4 M+ @8 t1 L5 I# p2 A) m% P4 Kfor the fabulous job they do...
2 W" g* J+ D, n. v" _3 Z9 ?or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.