Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
' X2 V. X* z; d  Q8 qMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! A& w$ N! M- j/ E) j  l7 f% oDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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6 u: r! `+ p. l$ |7 W  P0 `JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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) @5 [, R" ~, Bpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' s' H7 i5 i7 y" N2 C+ @Candidates must possess excellent communication
( o( ^7 ?% c1 u" Z5 j* X4 Rand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
& L! |4 ]! c! B7 j7 v: lendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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9 O! S+ s6 z& W5 sRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
1 i. i& k/ N" p% }$ a+ u% u& ~0 t4 suntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* e1 V5 h/ y3 ?and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
, N( }1 m0 P, F) }0 C$ bthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ z; I+ T% N. ~: A! [' nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ O* V% n$ q8 |1 S; G% f" Z/ wMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 r9 y) i/ b+ q* J0 e  s% {% hMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
2 N7 u( ^8 E, T9 ?1 \# K! k6 `: ?an embarrassment the next.
0 `# N4 ^6 \1 P: AMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ z$ I6 Z; b5 ]9 ^: L2 ~half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
# z; r4 F2 j: kMust assume final, complete accountability for
1 P$ \! W* y, ^2 J7 O. Hthe quality of the end product.
* e/ J! \- l& f3 _7 GResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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: Z+ R0 n6 F8 y2 j9 u3 TPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
3 F8 X! T/ U$ u& X2 T# FYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
/ B. b, ^* S, M/ N' s1 ^without complaining,constantly retraining and
$ P2 ^0 ^" n3 ]( }updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
) i$ x! k. S. Q& G# b; fOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
0 }* I! G6 V% i7 R  \: va balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 t9 L& [+ K# \2 D& O+ KThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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: J; ~9 P% T7 Q' x3 v& z0 H* S% i  UBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: T6 k" a- M7 R7 D( \no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ Y+ B& U  b# y/ s8 E' `no stock options are offered,
# \' [: Z2 g5 Q5 D3 u) U8 ]( uthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
- D$ ]) q  L( f  z0 v1 k
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

: p0 b7 ]* Y1 N0 I2 kfor life if you play your cards right.

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7 ]8 o& [; o$ Q! R** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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$ Z% v0 J7 N5 O; J% y3 l  {, ~Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
- M; M8 ^: b5 @3 K, ffor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.