Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
" O! E( x1 |/ @! M3 l$ |$ sMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
  M1 I2 [4 Q8 u/ [$ {Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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% ?' S3 N1 {# G9 p# oJOB DESCRIPTION:
' _+ \( I( _  vLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
$ N/ V! A  a. Q: w' @9 z6 ^3 WCandidates must possess excellent communication
/ k- H3 _# ~# W& z0 W" c) ^6 W; @and organizational skills and be willing to work
( r) l! O* x7 t0 F- G$ _& X$ Avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
# g7 H; P+ S% o0 ]  c1 Cand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
. C8 q2 q9 G) ?. b. a. |endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
' v8 b5 ^3 R& m1 _/ vTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
. H( E1 y5 |5 |( Q7 KThe rest of your life.
' @5 G  N4 O* u9 E7 k& n3 g3 tMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
  x2 p3 k2 Y  _* v0 c, jMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
+ ]2 ]; U3 g& V: z# a/ Vand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
- B9 G# q) Z* ?+ }5 X8 M: Rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
' N: e. y- ^# `" l( MMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  }) s- q, L5 y3 i5 |such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 ^9 A1 N# ?/ r3 {7 D- C. {and stuck zippers.
1 g7 Y0 ]5 `" IMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
4 W* n# q$ }$ b; A6 J/ ~- j% RMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' W2 \, V) B$ O, phalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
* ^1 Q; B& Z" Z2 ^, u5 k- Z) othe quality of the end product.
/ ~3 a. i) \( [, g0 AResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 A) C) X. X% P2 Ijanitorial work  throughout the facility.

' Z8 _% I! K) R1 b8 T! h  NPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
8 |6 T8 W% B1 g- A! }None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
6 s( j/ U9 e0 j0 W" r$ o9 eupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
2 y0 ?7 r# A5 C: N. {9 y& INone required, unfortunately.
% |% b6 ]9 Z# f, q( _+ Q6 D( m- D& M' pOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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8 C! f$ }4 j& r/ A4 {* B6 j( ~WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
7 ~7 A& M. ?( q5 ~# Q$ mGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
* E( H7 }1 |% j' ~. A6 ra balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
; P9 V+ w% ^0 u/ Kbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
1 J) y4 P6 j- p5 v/ R9 ^" V! F% _you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
2 ?" W5 u- T0 X6 }While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
" K: y4 k" @2 Nthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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& z( b) H' E: h# P1 }) D$ P, |for life if you play your cards right.
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) `: L. _/ O+ ]3 f** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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) k3 F8 z: g- Y( [  U3 x' z. j# GForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
3 w- v4 j! G) s6 v1 }$ Y/ Yletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
0 j6 [" E8 ?0 A( r. ito anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.