Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
" C3 n! p/ z/ ]  }! B) o- I2 HDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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4 V! W% l5 ^9 \* g( Q# _) @" UJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 X/ N: b3 M7 f, u2 M6 {/ ECandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
* r. o0 w8 T$ o' @variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# C" L, x7 A9 J, z1 p/ o0 b* {& C( H5 aSome overnight travel required, including trips to
7 K$ d$ D) E4 l4 Q( ?( @primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
8 [7 L/ d) S9 J- l; C5 J: iendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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5 S! Z4 e; T% i3 @RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ @! }; n2 Z6 n9 vuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
3 Y' M6 Q% C2 [+ d  YAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 ^/ z' N9 O, R! F2 Jin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 y) p4 o7 g! ?0 iMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ y( ?. Y; a  |1 b* B# \$ Q$ F( [such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
  M8 ]5 `' n# V* j' cMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
. Y# v  M# ~& R5 J' Acoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
7 W0 d8 N, W: @; r7 X5 C! o/ P& @* OMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
& \; r9 @1 c, E1 kMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' ?, u- b& U0 `6 E# Wan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
7 y- O3 T3 f; m9 bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  ^! s& e# D3 u) r) U: M8 fMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
4 c4 g9 ~5 Q5 q  j6 xMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
  b% G4 Q7 y& i  ~janitorial work  throughout the facility.

! m) Y; @* y( U# {4 i8 o+ SPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
% X" g( d) y, g/ m; G, A, uNone.
! t& \. f' Z, t3 d1 S) e9 v1 X& zYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
5 _4 S0 {% n/ t+ Yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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6 F3 N! e: s% N0 E) I# s4 hPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 S7 P) g- f$ u5 A# QNone required, unfortunately.
7 B+ u/ @, I' k) v# t! G  {On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
9 g/ g. E7 `4 L9 }) QGet this! You pay them!
2 P& r2 s2 o" \& J) qOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
: ]! S# x) S4 W' y- H9 Ta balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
+ i' A4 p" n3 k: i9 A4 Y. o/ Dbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ l2 B0 l) C) j, Z2 ?( x' W/ Lyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
3 M; n- X4 ]1 @7 K* Zno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
1 y0 j7 i( a5 S1 C% D5 x
for life if you play your cards right.


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0 h$ m( q) A  N) y** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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+ Y/ K# I) Q# M# F1 \6 MForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 K+ I5 V$ w% w% g& {5 eletting them know they are appreciated
" q3 F# {4 U0 \for the fabulous job they do...
5 L. n% v. R3 For forward with love
0 R1 _+ f  ?2 z  C) l  r; Ato anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.