Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
1 m6 v1 k* x, d, VMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% {- O: O; f# o4 t7 ^/ uDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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1 C* X  \6 S! p% u0 X  l& M6 `JOB DESCRIPTION:
. [, {1 A  K: B0 S! L5 }Long term, team players needed for challenging,

4 ]8 _6 h' B% U: n2 upermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& |- D: n4 t# j: W# cCandidates must possess excellent communication
* x! p6 C7 a  M& Gand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 x) A, B- j1 e% J9 dand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
. ]4 Z* B9 B, T% iSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
* h# J' U# y* J+ H0 Tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

% J9 u  w" w" \RESPONSIBILITIES:
7 N( _1 }. e6 |4 bThe rest of your life.
2 Q$ j! k( f+ z9 J3 {Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 q9 {  N6 D' x; m+ j9 d" yuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
5 t; ?3 V6 [4 A9 x! qAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( l: E5 n) x/ ]0 |0 Y+ kand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: l& t1 q# ^% Oin case, this time, the screams from
$ p' E+ [) t4 e0 O9 _3 `the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
; F5 ~7 s+ t7 f* `: Eand stuck zippers.
- t( h1 O8 d4 W" rMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
) a* F) Z  h( |4 ?) s! g3 X# ^coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) a) J* V" D0 L: `Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
- ]9 }" p! I" iMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& z: @0 F8 Y. u/ s; z2 |Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
9 j' X. p# Z  d+ X2 G+ P# _- cResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
/ _2 k* R# o' K* \6 [janitorial work  throughout the facility.
0 |3 x8 k- e+ y
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
. k- B: H8 o. l4 i7 ZNone.
  A7 Z7 E3 ^9 N0 y( l% e" GYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
* ]9 F9 T0 |1 c; p" O0 kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
: y+ N# p$ E% w3 K" w& tNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

8 v8 m' e$ T* XWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
; O3 m7 \& _' A. \+ }) NOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
# a7 z/ e/ n% ]% [' ?# Ca balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ l6 t5 K4 [, K' O6 Rof the assumption that college will help them
# b% E9 q1 A# n+ X/ V) [" B6 U. Cbecome financially independent.
4 Y( o8 M+ [- A: I. ?9 tWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
! D+ _% p0 \( R2 WThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
4 P  ]. ]( r( ]: S9 m  dWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
* `8 p9 N/ r9 n- h, o0 _this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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* a  E7 a/ E" t' Qunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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& \6 n4 X2 z* b9 j0 c7 E** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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8 \# l+ j7 t5 f. }, P( V) m6 L* \, @1 xForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 [7 n2 C8 f9 g0 q/ W7 L* Cletting them know they are appreciated
- x. \" a7 Z' K) f6 ~$ s- ofor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
' r( D! z: Y  g1 K1 N) Wto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.