Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
" b! j# c4 @& W" {# y7 d- h3 J2 h5 zMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
; u9 u/ E- M2 S. G7 `Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
9 f5 R0 h7 U( @; QLong term, team players needed for challenging,

1 b: m8 L1 M2 H* u4 F& apermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
2 A1 B. {0 s3 n" Yand organizational skills and be willing to work
$ U$ C/ T8 m" B! }# qvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
) y/ Y1 k# q" y! m0 y5 [primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 P5 a% b' E- [) X8 y  r$ oendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
6 o# t# t; }& u) m3 }3 v' OExtensive courier duties also required.

" l6 C' s" X9 \) j2 ^RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
3 x: a" w1 x& H  Z# DAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 I3 u( S% ]2 N8 b6 tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
8 h8 [3 d9 ]3 D, X6 a2 f) ^the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
1 S7 L* o& j, X( o1 J3 z5 Z; [0 @9 Fand stuck zippers.
% e! x* X; y. V8 x! VMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 ?2 v7 n, a: e* n+ h5 QMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
& r/ I3 m3 i! u: S" m! ean embarrassment the next.
) c; v& d; M6 F( M4 [) BMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! N6 v, L5 y5 M! w' ^Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* P! @: _  A+ v4 i7 q- c' J, hMust assume final, complete accountability for
& O, s& F8 D6 V$ y# w/ }the quality of the end product.
9 {9 |8 [7 K' ~& ZResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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  ]0 `2 G# l+ e- n. h; ^POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
9 m- |; ?! }1 k0 _+ c! Rupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
5 z$ ?* O1 S# m+ Y" [' Q0 L4 ucan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
* C* p' X/ T/ [" ^/ V: |( rOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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1 a( K. _& H1 l# u4 r" O' UWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
2 K* Q- @3 Q' G8 w. z6 h! w+ d" W- nGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
8 R1 |# a; e# w" W+ ]: c' c  j% V8 wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
# s2 O& v# o) Y$ i8 X( z; Ebecome financially independent.
& [0 \& k+ A8 I4 @: ]When you die, you give them whatever is left.
: c$ L& e" d& L, [The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
+ t2 i+ ]9 A; L  Y( k6 j, fWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( ?0 E, P* ~0 m7 Dno stock options are offered,
$ K6 T# I7 P; B  L; Ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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' T) t, `" m; u- Yunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
/ a* q6 \& U% P1 }letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
# V2 V' r9 V1 B# v2 cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.