 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
& S5 \' i. x4 r) y4 ZDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa7 d# T, c0 G a' O9 x7 q
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JOB DESCRIPTION:7 Z& U' ]1 z5 _* J, q
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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% m" u' n* u1 L! f, p3 Cpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. 2 U B$ j. h& F7 M: }, M2 p N0 {
Candidates must possess excellent communication
) M$ E" I5 ]9 T: P p6 E* Cand organizational skills and be willing to work & a7 {2 R6 g& v( u
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 1 `, E' ~$ ~1 t6 M4 t8 e, z
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
1 s9 m- v+ W3 S3 [Some overnight travel required, including trips to
o" V. z. A+ I) Xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
9 @ j* {9 C: @endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 8 z$ o5 U% X0 V, k$ a3 L3 |
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 4 a4 ~0 ^0 m: l4 A m( s
Extensive courier duties also required. . O* x- L% L$ y
& ?- W# Z$ D, t- n1 H& [- r4 L1 ORESPONSIBILITIES:
+ d- V7 [2 s3 e) M( m: @The rest of your life. ) g- H, g- z1 e4 ?2 ]& f. I
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 y$ d9 Z% A6 A% puntil someone needs $5. $ }% L1 f1 o- f+ A3 w
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( W3 P% b: m2 T2 J8 FAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ) G6 S1 b& [- D( M7 D+ _
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat * U, s* ~$ N* v" @0 E1 s# q% o
in case, this time, the screams from 3 ^+ H4 N/ g+ j- D
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
2 D" m; o) d+ F$ b$ mMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, - m! Z( e+ s. N1 ?5 m( y+ _+ s
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 r; `* {8 M( ]; ]) z! m8 C( y! D7 Aand stuck zippers.
+ l+ |, T' w9 ~Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% z1 f$ F w# ]" P+ V% Ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 V$ j6 y- A4 Y6 I5 G9 ]Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7 W* `; T4 @* j# D+ jMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
8 ?% e5 a- h, \an embarrassment the next.
. J( H( d7 @* ]: v3 mMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a 9 s0 k+ C% f# q. W, v3 g* T% X2 Y
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. |" D# \( M2 m D
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* y8 ~+ x4 j5 `( P& iMust assume final, complete accountability for
( ^. ~6 B- X) T. j/ lthe quality of the end product. 8 W I# D! D9 T: y
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 5 D& V7 u7 ]6 M( t! l% M
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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; k+ n2 L5 B0 [POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 O1 | B, Z& T5 K% z5 WNone. 7 y$ r$ h: x2 g
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
% A& B6 u/ F2 j: ^without complaining,constantly retraining and
7 y5 d; [" F' O. V+ ]8 p5 E" |3 Hupdating your skills, so that those in your charge * r" E/ T+ B* ?9 C4 f5 \
can ultimately surpass you.& @& n M7 t& o
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ m* ` P/ t8 j5 e" C sNone required, unfortunately.
) O5 X9 y0 m4 v7 f- r) x* AOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 8 O N5 a. `2 w5 g: Y0 e$ P$ x
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: # _! v: q3 i: O4 X+ @# g' h
Get this! You pay them! ; t2 A) ?$ [1 T9 K0 T% a* G
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. ! B X! O; s7 z7 Z+ Z
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 S0 J" a2 p' pof the assumption that college will help them ; A& @# C, L$ k/ e' A& M' g: e
become financially independent.
, k' |- M1 R: g" q) PWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
' ^! a8 o7 A* _ Z0 IThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
0 ~$ [# ~% ^2 P" l1 ?2 Yyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 9 ]4 k7 ~8 `2 z( Q3 d \
: b: j; O7 Z. _1 TBENEFITS: 0 y( t+ N! j* g- ~
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
' ~& s" p- z( |" q1 g" Eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# O/ Z5 H1 u$ j7 T7 ]no stock options are offered,( Y# A Y/ v$ g( e8 p
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, & ^& Y( T7 w C5 Q0 f' W7 C
& B, X) y: |& z( Funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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- ?: H3 i' k# s* F6 zfor life if you play your cards right.8 @5 H' I! G" v7 E1 ~' f5 I
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8 q6 R! y/ F5 c Z6 |** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **" g8 u e& w" h6 _3 S
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 4 `, v: ^6 m% {. Y: b- L
letting them know they are appreciated
& S9 T4 Q. ?+ O; Y, M$ d5 jfor the fabulous job they do... 3 l ~" p) G! I* Z0 |
or forward with love
" G' Q$ Q `7 N! s- F' U: dto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
