Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
$ G- |, d6 Q2 w/ ?1 CMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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* P  Y7 S2 s/ B8 y; }2 yJOB DESCRIPTION:
/ `- E' v! N0 ~$ W; I$ I( ]Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
0 b$ H2 s# `. x1 F- {Candidates must possess excellent communication
9 L/ C0 c, n+ B) ]( iand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 T) W/ k* Z" _' ?% {, F- Eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
4 g) x9 J" i9 p4 Y! \! a5 lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
! t  E( V" }6 P' i. N; uTravel expenses not reimbursed.
/ v7 Y9 @* j4 t0 g5 U4 ?Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
1 a- e% _( P" j5 guntil someone needs $5.
$ d; y+ }  Q0 |: w; lMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
, v1 w4 R' [- \5 d) d/ V4 |Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
( J  @, S! V' e! c: D( p- M4 Win case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
: L- w/ Z6 o! o# _8 zMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 T5 y' [  N$ Icoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
6 o5 H( V: y  t- r5 PMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
6 a4 W* Y3 x/ B+ D; TMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
; s  z$ [" e  T; W) U" _7 @half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
5 ^! o1 d! f/ N! s8 X1 yMust assume final, complete accountability for
6 K- P: _7 G! u7 ~the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 {5 e6 V, Y7 W7 L3 Yjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

9 @" _7 @$ ?' _/ c: i/ DPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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' p9 A9 s7 l: z$ ?PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
2 y$ H4 u0 Y  }* S% ]' d( xNone required, unfortunately.
; [9 \0 v5 b) X/ z5 f9 ~$ B& OOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
1 e. j) I, c" @# eOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
/ i1 \+ c* U# ]8 z+ B) ~9 A6 Y8 ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

# A: w% L2 o6 S; p/ v1 ], C% @BENEFITS:
( |9 z/ F8 l$ iWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
, A3 F! E2 Y( ?/ U8 vthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

, z. a, l; ~3 tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
0 }( d7 w% u/ E9 C! Qletting them know they are appreciated
% B  G* h  m( q# ^( `2 e6 Jfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.