 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 3 i3 r J+ W! C4 h
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa8 k7 Z m/ j- x3 L% i& P
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
/ V$ b Q, w6 A. @$ H. ^Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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2 }% p7 T8 X' k& O& x5 g! Lpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. ' z! x( ~- \/ J9 w2 G. S
Candidates must possess excellent communication 8 {3 }$ ~6 f/ L% R. I' y4 M- ?5 o5 U
and organizational skills and be willing to work # }6 W1 f, y: E% A' K
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends + n0 N, [7 k. i4 t' Z
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 7 ~/ h3 l" b, Q, [* x% `
Some overnight travel required, including trips to % a0 S, |9 P: G
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: I: l% F1 C* [3 w& ^8 \/ yendless sports tournaments in far away cities! * O- B: J( R+ ~ l
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 0 j1 Q6 B2 g: j, j1 E8 R
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:7 b( D- C+ z$ P# e0 T' x4 {* Z; }
The rest of your life.
' [# {; ]# m7 T2 {! X" p* tMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 7 y4 j& n: J b1 ~9 @; N6 K2 b
until someone needs $5.
0 v8 J8 ]: q+ K, S* s0 L6 ]% jMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. . B5 M8 h6 N) b, `0 ?7 U
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" J" z o' E! ]8 p% }and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: {* K% M& S* g3 n+ z# W5 v2 Rin case, this time, the screams from
% Q6 F# m, Q7 z: [, U: u* Mthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 c2 Q7 M, Q4 @6 GMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
7 g/ N j; k Msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets " ?: p( V- F$ ?. @: C
and stuck zippers. - u1 B: }$ u) C" ?/ t9 C3 P
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and / G6 i3 d( a( D' p/ o2 o
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. ; n- q3 G3 L' @; Y- R
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
: o/ c- J- h1 P1 b" b. }. tMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 7 u' d' E' s( d$ K! z' d! F
an embarrassment the next.
9 Z" p- Q# v* y9 r$ DMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' F& D# P& t z2 chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
. p0 v7 _) K1 \: EMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
% Q" m# C7 n5 F$ ]" [* gMust assume final, complete accountability for & m6 o% d: \0 h0 y) q2 y+ N
the quality of the end product. 7 M9 F* } C$ u0 B# k: W
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
; D/ h5 `5 ^6 njanitorial work throughout the facility. 5 H2 ^. _* v% z ?
4 Q! Y! f7 g+ r* K5 i6 CPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: A9 m7 \1 t7 `; H+ L7 B; c, D
None. 0 d0 @4 H% `! o( ]
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* p7 r& a" B. B4 {' Y" Vwithout complaining,constantly retraining and 1 R5 m. r# G( x7 }3 c
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
& y, C) z. A6 vcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& {& a% W1 i# y0 H7 h b! |' W' ]None required, unfortunately. 3 E; J# k: p9 _
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: % c# l; k+ q3 G8 _
Get this! You pay them! ' V" e, Y1 _% O" @
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
, J9 m) g6 L0 L4 [. c/ w- La balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
" S$ c: W/ ]$ b; bof the assumption that college will help them ( C. r- Y2 J" p$ ?. V* `
become financially independent. - o% |' I2 y" ]* i8 b
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
! _4 R# y' F ]8 p$ S; iThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 b2 `. X2 b7 \0 \you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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8 j- V* Z; V3 zBENEFITS:
) `# v9 ?- n9 LWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 M3 l7 ?; K6 Q' g, G e0 Gno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 7 J8 F8 J6 _+ | T f4 a
no stock options are offered,! \3 V& g+ U8 [$ _
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 1 W$ W( L, d' z/ T0 Z) Y( q
. A7 z. e6 `: Z" R5 |9 ?unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses $ g8 r3 e* U+ k; W
4 e3 |( Z3 |! ? B2 E8 Dfor life if you play your cards right." i2 B5 Y+ J* O, B1 N8 X
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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; J# O C$ L. y/ O6 I' d6 j9 H( b" QForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
: u+ x1 x3 J! I( u% {letting them know they are appreciated / O M/ e% E+ Q8 d7 ^
for the fabulous job they do... $ Q; I | T8 }( j$ O* R
or forward with love 5 {& p! C& @8 z
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
