Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
5 f" s% f  g& Z8 A6 E8 qMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 {( A0 f7 R1 Z0 KDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
  b% X8 ?# L2 R( G  f$ LLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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2 L. a3 Q; r  p2 N9 Rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
1 r! I; x- v2 z+ T; y& D# I  U; ^4 wand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
# c  U: t; d& Y  A% S/ hand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
2 }5 @- V& R+ R, z7 Lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
0 m; @) S+ d- t6 m, L5 F4 L' ATravel expenses not reimbursed.
& y5 K; t3 I4 k4 l, ]# }Extensive courier duties also required.
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( v; o$ x8 k8 H7 W/ U7 wRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
4 S) }; F& L/ M' r: q) Y+ v9 Kuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* }% s/ j/ a8 rAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, O! q5 H4 C  rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 x0 K5 P- B# J0 @5 D  M( Jsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
" Z/ G( |; g0 `% `& {8 D4 QMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( R; z, ^  I9 E5 ]6 t6 `' J) }4 Ecoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
$ s# X% E0 `. U2 C( K: SMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
% e6 P4 D  ^0 f# B# Z2 f# [' Gan embarrassment the next.
2 [* f9 S- F+ s3 }3 W( o) rMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  S7 x0 K) N0 P$ E6 J9 |" i; }" ~Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
) W& l2 v9 m/ {# {4 d7 oNone.
' }2 g! ~0 P# bYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 p7 i) F! t: B* i2 E. d8 L$ }without complaining,constantly retraining and
9 v' {' Z6 s- J  E4 q3 J- [+ oupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
! c$ M( p9 E- F. }2 ~can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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( s% V8 r) V% M  h1 OWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 J2 a7 t  k" A. f( uGet this! You pay them!
+ O& j" K4 E0 Y, x" d# _Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
; U- |1 p" f$ u! ?+ Q% }) PWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
2 U2 a7 Q+ z. U; Q7 IWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ j9 _: Y" b& z) h9 vno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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5 J& u1 b8 G# |for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



" H" p; D5 L2 M' n& x9 }8 `Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" J) P; G# e0 f5 B4 L, Wletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
1 P% A" v8 N8 K8 Nor forward with love
9 A, {0 Y1 s/ N3 p8 ato anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.