Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
- {3 {  X" o' JMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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1 Y5 {: _. I6 p6 m- O) B9 G8 yJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 V  d8 t/ o) B" Y" Z* Kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
  u3 M0 N, d6 z. D( b7 L5 Mprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* @" V- Q7 U$ V+ C# f4 vTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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5 l% x( I8 Y4 V+ ?" I- YRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
6 J" P* J6 E, l1 [4 \Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
+ ]: T7 u) l, X$ ]" j6 hAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 S9 l; S/ B! g7 t& S& z- c( Lin case, this time, the screams from
: w+ Z% j/ ~1 z: a9 L7 @/ c" Athe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
; M, z$ p$ H8 x6 M) q) O1 M& K+ i( H8 }Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
/ Z# n3 D  o+ RMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 `( G* o8 h7 ?6 D9 M* u  P* ~coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 S0 p+ X9 M- m( K9 t  OMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* }0 ~% d1 l, f$ C, m, V8 \Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
4 `2 q. E4 ?: l& J' K7 D! xMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
* ?- f6 y' ^# N& j; S, s7 XMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
8 B) ^+ l. n( t, W) SMust assume final, complete accountability for
( F9 z6 P% `7 Vthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 k: y1 O9 g( N" Sjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
  J7 N  N1 G6 w3 S9 ~: r7 aYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
- h/ N1 `3 d/ Nwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
- F/ X/ S& W2 r8 b* pcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ D6 j9 L1 ~4 ^; M. jNone required, unfortunately.
2 _" x5 z  h* Z5 F. }& [& zOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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( O' n% u# Q$ z' @WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
/ R: Z9 m% E% R( DOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
! C4 y2 ~* }5 u) z( Zbecome financially independent.
1 T" l1 D3 {( a" t6 q0 M7 A* hWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; D. K' Y: V$ \  \you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
8 t- S1 q# a# P7 c8 H2 Tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
$ ^: i8 G1 W" W1 K# c
. _! q4 a" p- S. A3 \) G3 Efor life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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9 K$ A5 A. G2 ~" X& }* mForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
; s, f: m. j. j. q" A* g! H3 qor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.