Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
" y$ [1 I1 l+ \- |
, E( X4 }- Q9 [8 v6 H! \( y* h
) y- t! ~# V0 R; d8 f) z& W( I  wJOB DESCRIPTION:
, Q# ~3 B4 _) g# m9 V" m) V- mLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
, ^9 M2 i  T8 c' R! G  w" D. LCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: `, ?# }+ D/ L- @, Yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" W' r2 o- `8 [& h8 t1 RSome overnight travel required, including trips to
1 k6 b/ n7 o" x9 |8 k  E6 kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

% |3 Z3 x8 I& N6 d6 |- LRESPONSIBILITIES:
/ P4 k: T1 d" O1 r7 V6 BThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
, W2 B* @7 t4 o% Vuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
% B- C# g8 s! b) h" e9 land be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 l3 C; z! X& L  W, h1 r% m# yin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
7 X6 x0 f, k8 ]Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ j3 {3 t; c5 c2 msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
/ E8 a6 V3 f, A4 L; o. w  oMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# q5 `3 K; I: d; r$ b/ Tcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 B2 l. _1 D" |  s3 fMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% ?0 w% h8 k- ~2 m# R+ [: a; W; RMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
" a$ b+ g. c! i+ J8 t. ]3 XMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

$ T5 k' O3 s) H, l* LPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
) t3 L  d2 O# c' l& B' J# bwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
  W( I, P/ B$ v6 D. iupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
7 A9 u. n& j) }1 rcan ultimately surpass you.
7 T) I% k0 q& j, Y

2 \8 @/ F. H( iPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
4 j+ P, u; N& ?. \On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
' A) J: ?- N( @$ V
' I+ M5 V# P- k/ T2 _WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 O/ ]: b" \* @) S3 ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- s7 h+ e: ?9 p6 vof the assumption that college will help them
8 h8 H& {0 g5 y% _2 kbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
' k; e; f$ V# [1 |The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
3 ]8 P' g3 D; Fyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

) ]$ g; c  W- b2 R% JBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* P! Y, N7 N" m% B5 ?. Wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
) C$ f( \$ i: F" C( t1 o+ Y
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
, J" n, |) H& k1 ^6 E" w+ G, l
for life if you play your cards right.

9 G1 B- e3 n8 N* {7 a6 }
% x  t) S1 @4 w2 a$ F
4 v/ C3 i! H. R, J  B, O% o$ M
+ K0 `/ q( [+ K. J5 ^7 D** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

; X5 K5 h2 n3 D, `0 I

& p, g! x( L# U* O! dForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
+ Z1 K6 U: b# E3 J( e( }, For forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.