Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
5 p4 b+ B: m& x" eDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
6 V; s6 x/ U/ O8 N$ }- aLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
6 c) S# A$ b- P& e3 S/ ^and organizational skills and be willing to work
# h0 y/ h8 T; C) \7 g1 t' `: uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 ?$ a6 l0 J' w7 W9 f- w$ `and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' _  q# r- j# Rendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

# l% o! q$ C. \: q6 lRESPONSIBILITIES:
+ o+ ~5 E5 e5 g  `3 T* ZThe rest of your life.
2 i. A7 a6 [( g- G2 U" _Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& p" f: o+ n+ F: b! q4 r/ h) F* huntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  }& Z( g" m9 w6 k/ band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
& P: U8 v2 i: }6 B, j1 Pin case, this time, the screams from
; o2 F4 z( B  `: y0 nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
$ `( B& b6 T8 sMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
7 J8 O5 |  W3 ~8 d& v( e5 }6 ~such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 b$ h6 m/ {4 L) v" P7 U. Vand stuck zippers.
7 z$ K' d: `6 i% {* ~Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
5 o( t0 g5 U4 g3 }" n7 a9 vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
& V! a7 ^, \/ b( ~" L4 b" v6 T( yMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
+ }1 S3 \+ r  o! x6 Mhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
$ Q; }) l) m2 K1 f! CMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
$ C% x: z! W3 l( M! w1 `8 VResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

. {5 q! U3 m3 k) i" g0 v4 L% J/ rPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
% f* e* l+ R! ^5 H' Q9 g6 Q" D9 }None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
  h  g  a) c6 ^without complaining,constantly retraining and
7 k0 O, i. L! P4 {( p) U: g, oupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
) z4 `; l. T4 ]6 e1 w; C, U# tOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
) p: F/ x; w- u8 X5 v$ GWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
/ |  C+ x3 Y9 {+ D. `/ d1 \( ]9 Y- ^The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
! T; z0 o1 ~+ z' s% z, UWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

7 d$ w5 I; o8 e  [$ W: bunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

: L1 q6 R5 L+ G+ _for life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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3 v3 ?2 B' L# r+ A+ `5 @Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
  h4 |- W) d; ?9 m$ `. l) nletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
1 d6 a; k' \( a8 L: s  N, [% A( z# ior forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.