Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
1 ~* @: I) w3 V# P7 [Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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; M$ v0 C4 i2 Q; h$ L* F* d- V' OJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
  c. i# D% d# @Candidates must possess excellent communication
* q" |% q  [) Z2 d  {7 land organizational skills and be willing to work
. y" A7 v; x/ D# {6 d) t! D/ Pvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' \5 e  N( f5 M6 q/ C, land frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
6 F! N9 s' J4 K% H6 X7 E, YSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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/ a- i7 M$ _2 ^3 URESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; U! s0 J& K0 Z- N/ W; e1 Vuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& ]- ?# Z: C4 N* J* B& v- M1 m3 C( dAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
8 y, A" w2 ?6 O: P1 j( \9 i* hand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. M# C2 ^( v* k! N- P# k' h9 `in case, this time, the screams from
; w- D2 ]% a4 _2 P) ]2 _5 q8 pthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 `( j% O5 v" I+ QMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 @- q. W9 ]8 N+ nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
( l5 I# P. g* V3 nand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
' J8 Z) ?/ O9 zcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, A- E3 H# P5 P: WMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
0 S, u$ z2 F# Y1 YMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
+ A9 \2 A  M3 s# X, f8 eMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% L  u9 u0 T! {- ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& O7 [6 P3 T3 n( A( QMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
$ y" Z* J& s4 ^0 m8 `& L1 vMust assume final, complete accountability for
" B4 C& s) Q( F- B9 b3 uthe quality of the end product.
0 x6 o; w( f# X9 R- `0 z' s& nResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
0 x- Q0 ~; z( b3 q7 r6 }Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
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' l6 _3 p* o9 ~" ~PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
0 S4 w4 @  l( \, [; S0 GNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

4 w# b( V: e& g& Z8 \$ pWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' J* T/ C: H; \/ A, `* a$ \; _Get this! You pay them!
/ G* C- {2 S% q2 \' R: M8 K' ]Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
$ d; K" e# k4 z+ j3 ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
8 m) @* C1 B1 @2 l" Q; nbecome financially independent.
0 c  E" U5 N: R0 v9 D% Q3 z% IWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 ]+ q+ |. S3 k" _% Hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
; ^( D3 C+ [9 a( T/ ~/ [While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
! D- ?- L1 S+ {1 Hno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" T$ t9 g) r; ]( q  Q% k$ pno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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" C' _* `2 j) u+ F4 Q" xfor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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6 e( C  Z3 [+ E$ U9 |% OForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
& r. B, G9 u% G6 qletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
8 C% n) K+ u5 w& C5 f# Xor forward with love
) m9 M  ], H+ n# r( R* G& v3 `' uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.