Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
  A5 k6 \# v. l, Z2 z7 j6 D( [- lMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
% Z% ^" L" B2 F# s: OLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) a* m# \( o' B# G& J9 |/ _- `3 N; aCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
& ?) z# f/ D) r$ \0 ~variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% p6 [" b; E" L2 F$ J$ I& y4 ~and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" }& v9 o& f3 j1 H! u2 M& Hendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) C7 n: f  z( G( [+ A; o" q' Q) yTravel expenses not reimbursed.
+ }/ x; b7 R9 c6 B4 _9 z! Q7 ?Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
- E( ]8 {3 g' n/ K: m/ WMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ @6 c$ h/ {( J5 O; ^/ luntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 |" V( N( ?" W% v' ?Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ e. Z; \2 d  V, q- pin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' J: N& X& B* q2 {/ Hand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
8 H1 h0 L1 q' _0 gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# h1 V" E6 W2 `* }# c0 b& YMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" ]/ R% G/ G7 f* y6 Q8 cMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. t$ K1 h4 v6 q: Ean embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
) Y4 m6 v  @" K& S1 |* o5 Ahalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' w; u  ?. L/ ~0 W' m$ PMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ r4 J) @* x1 w4 @# Z/ jMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
# J4 |6 V  g# _6 iResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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& O3 ]: |9 ~# P( G6 I" v. ?POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
" I$ W) q& E6 rwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
4 r5 Y" t* J4 W/ d8 nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 ]9 @2 A  G* t1 l9 P0 Lcan ultimately surpass you.


0 X) {6 ~% M# ~4 j# m9 [PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 G1 K. z2 k* s* T4 @7 gNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
& V8 ^  A! y2 ^0 G& D8 r# _- A1 ?" wOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ [6 G- |' K/ c- eof the assumption that college will help them
: D. n8 V& m* c4 Q5 Lbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; x9 T. d7 B9 |& i0 g3 r4 K! X3 [you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
$ N4 T; s/ b& y) s/ n! R
BENEFITS:
3 e3 J* {1 O, p8 N4 f2 a; nWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 N! p5 }9 ^& A6 x8 Eno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
* K% d, a; p  u" ^: l# y
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
; s9 @& n1 I; |
* ^! l+ p: ?  {& Y& Vfor life if you play your cards right.

/ L* W3 R; h. Q, e9 ?. A) H2 N5 _
6 W4 P2 [- j" \& o) m
( `+ g* e9 Z' L: `: L: m. n& D9 M# V
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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) d# x, l6 F' FForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
' l0 o3 l1 i  Tfor the fabulous job they do...
1 w; U! H, I; F" N( _! Qor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.