Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
, G! ^6 V2 |1 e6 ^/ f. H- n/ DLong term, team players needed for challenging,

) N7 ~* I+ m$ s( u. D4 c  Apermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
7 b- p+ |% u# q" Avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 Q4 T: P* F) h0 H+ w  z9 rSome overnight travel required, including trips to
3 u4 b2 p# q2 b4 gprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' |0 `5 K3 D8 [- G' d3 V5 w7 x) Bendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
/ }* v+ P1 x- k' q$ _Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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* e' A/ U* B/ X4 A7 X; d# j2 URESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
! f5 O; ^+ g' v: A" pMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
/ ]- X% X8 i" [. w6 P; `until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- v# F8 V% o: Z- f# `Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
0 I; U5 J2 o  Q& s6 |8 Oand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ s; p+ m" S( eMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& Z% \+ t# [* A! A7 d" B# Vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. x" L5 A8 Z7 c9 X5 z* f2 Q5 }/ |+ Han embarrassment the next.
3 _+ E+ B; ^# C+ u  P9 T  j/ rMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
: n( v& _8 J0 D, C' x- gMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
/ _, m- R& {2 I0 L7 J2 tjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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2 V: u  z9 O# j, V' Q6 n' |$ fPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* j& B% S" W4 _4 n- d1 ?1 {+ x; _None.
* M* `7 j" R  A; F4 f" {$ Y! [Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
7 t9 a; ^  q7 kupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
" o7 U/ `' ]4 ]; Y' N  tcan ultimately surpass you.
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" M  R" z' `9 W* i$ G# K0 u. APREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; m% d/ |. V) R/ L1 F: w! [, FNone required, unfortunately.
- o; r% U0 g1 J$ qOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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9 Y* V  ]7 e' n! h0 DWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* ^( t$ w2 R( ~; A0 _5 u$ V& ~Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" G. X* u. q; e4 `you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
, K4 Y; r# s8 {1 H8 U7 E  M5 Jthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.



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3 _6 `! H9 \2 o' E0 o* J: ~& u4 g* g** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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; Y: H' k1 G+ B! O/ AForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
- o7 @5 K/ L) d! b& T( j% {letting them know they are appreciated
# A4 ~) O) [# S  Wfor the fabulous job they do...
$ O% v0 j3 L" `or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.