Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
$ t% U+ t1 z$ vMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
" K9 W4 W. k! CDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
- Z  v* a: p8 B9 LLong term, team players needed for challenging,

) q% v; G% y1 Hpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
; S( _, `& s; @' land organizational skills and be willing to work
; N* y/ g0 t% Vvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
1 l2 b6 l+ [3 f  ]* zendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 d1 R9 f- y9 i& o' z  J3 W/ m  B2 X* uTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
" |; ^$ m) q  ]Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
9 K( O, Q& V; M( R0 R! vAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  S! @* q( c5 a) B' Yand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
! [, C, y6 F# ~" ~' Zin case, this time, the screams from
. f5 O0 _5 A% [, u4 wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, O4 X6 p* M# ]. O6 Nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
) B; Z/ U, p) F" wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
5 E( A6 `, Y  a$ `- RMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
( g: N" V* V1 Aan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
3 J& u* L0 j6 pMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
5 ^! j5 D. s0 a& h- {Must assume final, complete accountability for
/ v7 j/ f. _3 {: Uthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

  x2 Y: ?8 f9 cPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
/ X$ J# ]+ ~; j2 O: L, l; @6 rNone.
1 Y( g& N; o" p4 D1 ]Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
- m/ w4 [# a+ D& `without complaining,constantly retraining and
7 M# R  e5 ]5 {( x  O6 I5 P: _updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
" _4 \6 }3 Y( O  i

- q0 [( h3 U4 f, gPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
  a6 \0 b; ^8 I" Z: t" JNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

8 q/ z6 Q7 V  b+ E: {WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
, F# y. d  z0 g5 nOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
2 a0 o5 M, X- ^8 m& fa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
: V: P* _4 b& o% ]3 \- m9 Z; |9 Rof the assumption that college will help them
8 @( _& o) t% s0 [5 @become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
. [) n, m, r; f9 G4 N/ j' R* r
BENEFITS:
% x7 v' Q9 x9 DWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
; a5 Q  D: Z. d' ~8 _9 Zthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
9 N  S5 G/ L( E) `/ o3 F: K0 H
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
; x/ V% e+ x  ]& e8 q3 e# o. `
for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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8 I5 Z, b; {4 E" j
! t, |5 E( q7 Y& M( H/ DForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
  a+ S9 P9 [) X4 z7 l$ v8 \letting them know they are appreciated
# x" E* |1 d( vfor the fabulous job they do...
# r4 g( X/ k5 k+ C) M1 qor forward with love
0 A4 f7 B7 R) r9 B: Wto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.