Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
- m, v  a7 ~- ^: E" ~( ?. m+ TMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
2 S+ l- E+ P4 T8 }: G& ZDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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2 e' l+ o, Z" {0 Q  `JOB DESCRIPTION:
) W8 x( z: f4 c4 Y' b4 j' yLong term, team players needed for challenging,

7 E5 Y" v- H4 }, N5 w2 }/ c+ R  X" Rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 k# @& Z7 V% J' l# ^' Cand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
8 ]$ b4 r3 G; |/ P' d5 Z( aSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
/ [9 a2 {4 {! o1 p5 Y. nendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

" w+ Y' M, D! wRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 h2 M8 v" v: N, z/ Xuntil someone needs $5.
9 x  t% L& `4 j. @% R- yMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, Y1 i0 Z3 X9 i8 E- d  `and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# T8 j: v. O9 iand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
' p1 @( r1 D# ^' ]coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
0 }! J5 E: `/ z7 J* ]; ?Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
8 W1 |. o5 ~* c  `- [/ C& D" XMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! {8 |3 \; s' T9 j. ?Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
# k9 G( ~. C) J+ ?% B8 Z8 \: ^the quality of the end product.
6 q' Y- X3 M* ?9 Y' }) }Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 L  Y1 m' O/ S( zjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
4 W) i' p8 h9 {- A" W7 M) q% Lwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
' \) G3 |3 F7 q5 |) \$ F7 [can ultimately surpass you.


. \2 v  d9 Y4 h0 n* d; @, bPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
' [: b4 f" S" V3 Y" i+ lOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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+ g! U& G' G+ Y0 y. A: u# ?( b- B1 EWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' h" l, ~9 [8 HGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
% X! O* e3 g1 K2 |6 h$ B- n! da balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
  Y: z; \+ x  H2 b# kof the assumption that college will help them
' V  y/ p% {5 C) N: H6 fbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
( {) h3 s" N# vThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
# b! E7 K9 C5 {7 r( Z* F6 P, Y
5 I0 }: M* x6 `BENEFITS:
" C$ P. Y( L+ yWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 g5 S# Y# x0 t' u# `6 jno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
& c5 s: X8 g& @. fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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" k7 E( b7 g3 ^. o** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
6 n; B+ t' ^5 v" b7 v! ~& N


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
' @5 c& g, R2 _# J" n' _letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
) O/ z4 x" R# N& E$ C) Yto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.