Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* p5 ~9 J+ g7 Z1 x& W+ p6 f4 oDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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( b+ r4 N# z, G# nJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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4 }# T$ G  T3 n4 @( t) n, Spermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* H0 E$ m4 N. l: @: M+ j+ p* R1 MCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
1 O+ ]5 \7 [9 i# wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
/ K) ]0 |3 O! y" hprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

. Z3 ?1 C1 V9 y' ]" L% ?! E/ x0 m4 uRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
9 P* F8 m( p* j3 kMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 B, l7 @) x. v. F7 e0 {" B4 huntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  ?2 q. J7 x; y! ?; _3 y) [$ gAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; A$ l! q, f( j1 y$ isuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
! l$ Z% {0 f- y7 }7 {4 dMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( Y& O+ H0 `. l6 e% ~coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
1 N: [- g, j! n9 r! P, \% fMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
! f; Z7 T1 \6 l4 v3 GMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
7 x3 j/ d3 H5 \% v* p8 M5 @- d2 Chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
6 i: R" c2 n" f& n# s5 ethe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
( h5 m: A0 f& `& M: ojanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
  N  V/ ~& p& R* b3 A/ [Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
: q/ n3 ?! W# mupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
2 ]. P! t- b+ f: u2 {can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 E$ \8 `4 B: @8 }# J6 f) }3 PNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

1 n; |$ G) o# c: OWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
1 ]  b( H/ y6 L0 m4 kOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
1 ?; d3 c9 _' Z# W5 }. ta balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 E& P  N  `  a. Xof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
) g) B2 y# t, o' L7 CThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( }$ e' W" ^$ ^  u& ~9 x$ A3 o/ ]no stock options are offered,
6 w8 e" T  V" d5 T% qthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

* z( }/ w6 t4 e) G9 w* `: G5 e1 T2 punconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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! A" o9 d" @/ ^for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



: {) i2 f2 d# H: zForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
1 y  @( ~8 F1 k8 i5 Yletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
% h/ [; D% y/ X: X2 sto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.