Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
8 O( B- @  y% g/ ^Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
  c6 s: Q7 `4 ~
! @, E5 L2 X+ T
JOB DESCRIPTION:
9 @  h" @& O( I* lLong term, team players needed for challenging,
& ^( V# E0 G4 K3 T% Z/ o4 A* f
/ p3 P$ Z, C2 Upermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
1 j; C1 _1 S  o2 G: c# v( l; l3 Kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
( J0 d. c$ f7 ~& ?endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
9 x( W9 b  h! Q7 oExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
8 b% E# B5 A3 p6 W( ]. n+ f! ]3 pThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
7 a' d1 U( }  [$ R) I+ {4 @and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" k$ Z8 B- e. y* H) csuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
, O# F3 G$ D2 j; D7 Z! Icoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 K$ n" o6 }  e6 u2 V8 kMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
) T  S! i, T% W* c, Jan embarrassment the next.
7 V8 T6 b. r) D5 @0 cMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 Y# E/ s5 T( M' F* s5 z; W- oMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 t! i$ L3 A; Y' O% D! H' P. r: @0 Vjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
7 A) L  g/ C8 o0 w1 A
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
. V2 U  v9 h5 k$ ONone.
* s2 T! G* _* FYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 K$ _; x% T* P, ]; W  lwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 i/ v( D2 R; A/ Ncan ultimately surpass you.
; z0 S0 ?% n8 M) Q
; s* b5 s. a! R  Y; g. B7 s
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 s' Y. q2 @% x$ QNone required, unfortunately.
0 S0 L# k7 j' U8 _) ?( wOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
7 v$ \7 L/ n0 l4 |) CGet this! You pay them!
; B- ?4 S9 {8 C) V% D# a; WOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
( s/ ~9 z3 b$ O# G& fWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
1 y  j2 f5 e% m9 @: m  Cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
6 k) x& s8 Y' ]' ?
BENEFITS:
7 V# F: z  d) j0 FWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
. Y/ `4 V& o9 W7 H  B- U8 O1 F# {' Vno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
- ~% M% F6 K4 ^9 f: S0 k& u
! F: n# z3 i9 R' Lunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
- ]. ^! }$ H$ H$ x8 p2 O
- K  |( @" b9 L5 _; X& tfor life if you play your cards right.


2 I8 p. U! w2 f% Z* R1 ~  w
/ w6 Q& P% U* t
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
5 G+ ^# e( Z/ y# _- X

% ]. ~# R% s% `' z; \" G
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
! T% ?! A/ L  o2 ]or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
8 _. l  c5 ?: M9 h
1 a; W( b4 X0 s; E- v

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.