 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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# b. Y5 }+ K0 M3 B2 Y3 [Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma , i H" i! z- M: `; q) ?" a
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa6 h" x) @5 h6 r5 E
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2 {3 U' U) P; ?JOB DESCRIPTION: b" ]4 q: h/ W( J* c, c
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. % l+ Z- |& p: j
Candidates must possess excellent communication B. I" V! w5 m a6 I
and organizational skills and be willing to work : r& x7 M3 {# P: K. s
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends h( K+ N0 q: }* X3 d$ t$ u
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 ~; X9 l! Q; j% y) w; z2 ]" GSome overnight travel required, including trips to
0 @+ e9 l% R rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 }, A7 {: s8 `1 N" Kendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% G( t3 j7 u6 P5 t- cTravel expenses not reimbursed. 5 K& t6 [) T* d* [, t
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:/ K) e; S2 Q, X/ U3 U; t5 e
The rest of your life.
6 u( C4 L; m' k! ]* @0 r2 l6 LMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ' Q4 c! |) k; }; a7 `
until someone needs $5.
' u. y: |1 k, s' E! H% Y g' l" TMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. # ]6 c0 L; }3 z1 y
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( c4 q3 }9 o+ C2 Cand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
/ N' i8 }3 m( cin case, this time, the screams from
4 v c8 l& L' x! r' M/ e) Jthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
2 Q- T7 X; ~9 m/ \2 ^Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" S& T x% a9 @+ bsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets $ q! D. d, a# d4 Q' L9 x4 L( v
and stuck zippers. ( u/ b0 ]8 B+ L" Q
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and - w$ Q) _( Y+ w- i8 w2 `' V
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% A6 e1 t4 R, Z# @( b% N+ UMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. + |9 @# V6 v" v' ?
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 5 {, X0 v6 m. G
an embarrassment the next. % p+ s+ \7 U% c T2 [7 }
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a . ]: Z% T% m* Y# o- H0 w( q
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 1 i' }+ a" c# t' {
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* C0 U6 l2 T' f8 K! qMust assume final, complete accountability for
9 Q3 x# D n2 ~0 M: n! |( u2 Othe quality of the end product. 0 r! W9 K$ ~2 y3 Q: \
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and # ]) h8 u G1 `+ r8 v
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:1 f0 t; q) V& X
None. / E' a: w& M' M8 {
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, ( P$ q& I" k: K! a9 F: e9 u, M
without complaining,constantly retraining and y7 d R: m6 l. K, L1 p
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
; @+ M/ J% w0 ? N& Hcan ultimately surpass you.3 b6 }( C. J6 o' L1 p
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 0 }1 v7 u8 T1 K5 M0 }8 ?6 x
None required, unfortunately. : Y$ |5 m4 J5 z) {6 S. C) R
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. " m+ B9 p. q# x9 V9 m
8 v9 m: o2 }+ I! X/ }1 q6 UWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' k! W4 v3 J$ O4 \. fGet this! You pay them! $ T8 P6 `* ^5 |- Y; q+ h1 ~8 n
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. # J! a8 E; R, a N* N
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because ( m, [+ V+ x: U0 ~; b: E
of the assumption that college will help them {, e1 F J* _( j B' x! F
become financially independent. 4 \& O: X! Z# R" H: F; [6 z
When you die, you give them whatever is left. + W% [9 G5 p b6 ~
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 0 f u: K1 }4 G& A* d- J; M- B
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: : b; C/ |. w& p8 x1 `) Y* e( I( W
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ) e1 [* g$ s B# u$ |! x8 r! L1 f, \/ U
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
% \2 @, U+ M2 T5 }no stock options are offered,; s5 z- S# e5 Z- E
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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( c! J$ a. O3 y, |9 F" m" |+ J- bunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses . m, ]0 p7 b' Q& i3 u# P* ]% Y( U
3 Q7 D4 F+ g4 F. _+ G- Xfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
; E0 J0 z+ ~" d, O: E: d! Y, Xletting them know they are appreciated
2 j" k* m, g4 D$ L: e, ~6 ^for the fabulous job they do...
0 Q" I3 F8 r5 Q$ }4 l& Aor forward with love
$ [7 [0 v5 g5 M9 v8 v7 h* Q) Eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.; o5 @/ ~/ N0 G
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
