Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
" s3 S% k8 R, `Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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( |4 ?/ ~- ]3 j* x; Z8 `JOB DESCRIPTION:
( r1 h; Q" M' H% E  fLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) D; x8 Q! s/ a; J. }Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
7 M5 W5 s1 N  z+ _6 k6 h( `, avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 C% g8 f5 B: j7 ?* eSome overnight travel required, including trips to
1 L- I( ^! l) S: L& eprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
( t+ C) s7 ]7 k. |% d! F) fendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
9 }7 t$ a" Q' w% p( r# `* s4 e% I. `Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

' X) b* A( ~! W5 E3 h# NRESPONSIBILITIES:
, Q1 a, ~- E, f. ]The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
3 V8 w* b* P  ^. M5 J+ l2 J4 AMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' P+ S: R. |* Y6 z/ {5 Qand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 L4 I- C: t1 Y  ], Tin case, this time, the screams from
( D+ Q  K+ ~% {4 i: Wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
3 [# \/ q( p& \% z9 Fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) y' i% H; w) NMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
) f9 M3 h( t; r) \- VMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
$ n7 J; J' ?/ W$ i9 p" |* tthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

9 Y& s" {1 g7 P9 uPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
+ i  W1 ^5 ^6 z. N5 U  Qwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
; T/ y( }- B( ]& M' ^2 Dcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

$ J9 U* H5 o# u5 E& @WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
3 i5 ]! f: n1 ?3 Q7 pGet this! You pay them!
! U7 ~. k9 ?' L' R4 q! {/ ]: ~; cOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) \9 {  ?2 O, K/ A8 s. Dof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, ?- X: A# H7 l; w  h9 H" x# Tyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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, S$ a5 d/ l* q) t$ m; O7 yBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
1 K. T4 H' r; z1 ]# p! H6 E3 ?% ]no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 m) S' t# R% E  }4 n. Hno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
, s0 c, T; B/ P: N- X
3 e2 w0 l% D5 A/ x. uunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
; a( G( G1 g" }; g+ W+ q
for life if you play your cards right.
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" K, s- x; T- y, g** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



8 W0 d8 z( U7 R: U. f" ]Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 d% `! r9 c: y9 Dletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
' N( h( z: X" G$ T$ Bor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.