Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
4 t  D* c$ \% N6 H( qMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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' k* ]7 M1 A* C8 w3 P, i) R; XJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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) t/ U7 S) `/ \5 D9 jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
# G0 j  a5 }+ I) a* Pand organizational skills and be willing to work
- x) D8 ~9 f" Q# pvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
1 H$ G; C1 R9 tprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
. D! K: ^! ^, V5 Tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
' [+ F1 n+ l# o4 a; sExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; V0 W+ P# V3 n" Runtil someone needs $5.
* X" j0 F0 ^1 o% F3 wMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 t  a( b+ U5 o& w+ GAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
+ g+ N: f- x2 A' V8 o3 Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 D( B7 }8 p1 Z, k5 U2 d1 K" Uin case, this time, the screams from
6 [( S  @3 V! v. j$ P2 l- F5 F* fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
/ m. a9 L- s1 H/ d; ?Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 X7 d7 Y  I: w% X  fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
5 a4 Q' ~; d6 B- eMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 J$ F1 W3 B4 q' R2 i1 B8 k2 whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! L1 d6 l1 \1 qMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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+ A8 ^: i* G/ a/ p' _) ?; gPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
6 o- s7 I/ g& p  X/ W$ t" B- i  \Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ Z: ~; ~  A$ N8 Wcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
: [4 Z- l0 w" x/ p# I3 qNone required, unfortunately.
& Y/ i8 d* E! G( j+ j3 ^& MOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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  l3 e. J0 b' p3 r" {# ]* gWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
4 Q: ]* A" W7 JOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
: W1 |1 E% W7 j# _  D1 e! f2 `a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
% j3 S- h( c4 c. _, `become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. k" \0 e6 b, N1 b  L. C, C/ f$ ^% Dyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

4 O) A8 E) \6 PBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

  ~! ]. X, d, [7 N! b# d" \# L' Y/ A3 k, iunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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. Q6 l4 C5 r, i, ]for life if you play your cards right.
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" a6 ]9 n6 @+ h& |) L' c5 Y1 F** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.