Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
! T1 ?2 `7 j& G* j* LMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

6 v; O3 {% y- ^6 {permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 c0 L6 b( L* h$ U# D8 b% Uand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 L* d% E, o' Jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
" W) ~' F3 a* d! R( ^Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
. U3 N; [% u' D  U, z% ]& Runtil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 v: a: ~  f7 |# d3 Y  D# oAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  t4 ~& a  U8 |4 m- p# L& D, gand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 v3 r9 _7 d0 x2 n/ P6 q' `% Nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
0 }& Y' p1 R! Sand stuck zippers.
2 G2 x- ~5 u. t  k( h/ ~2 A0 o3 v; XMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! E" o0 @+ _2 a: z* zMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
1 a  e& ?) T' y: N2 b" C$ CMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
6 ~; D% s: Z# t+ E1 QMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
% g) {3 p; ^5 ~Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
- n7 O4 f6 C1 Y4 ~  Q! b7 IYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
5 Z/ I5 k: Q) S5 twithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
& k8 S8 }$ J8 C! Y+ {+ U; DOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

; u! z* W$ g: A% BWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
% y) n  Q6 I; Y8 O) k! Y% L' xa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
# z0 M4 A2 T6 zbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% U3 i) V" S6 a/ O  \. J; U' iThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

, l  S1 U3 W& p8 |. j0 q5 P0 kBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
0 c8 l- n; [/ W6 R; ~1 I  h7 Eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
$ ^& m8 W0 A% O9 l& A
* J! N7 }! L  f0 o# o' kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



6 a9 Z( \" G: F' jForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ h% b5 W& L- }" ~# Y$ ~( P! Aletting them know they are appreciated
6 r; l4 J2 j& O- y. `for the fabulous job they do...
8 V$ G- W" {) G1 U6 P: R- j9 Hor forward with love
; V# G( \+ ]2 a. b) t; `; f1 n% zto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.