Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
& t: Z% C0 I9 K# ^! }8 C7 Z' V4 WMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
$ b7 l& A) G6 K% f! p3 mDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
8 V( b( c; |0 wCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ |( {# ~% \) y& Vvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' M5 Z5 ?& {4 k" I& L% Kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
, u, y/ S5 g9 sSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
  g) v2 V, H# V' Y4 v# ^/ S0 mExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
7 K0 m+ B5 F) r8 n9 K/ Z4 c4 VMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  }" H% q' q" @/ f& x6 V5 f" F9 oAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( P, ~7 G' t  oand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
* |( `# Q5 q4 t/ [2 u" L- Nin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
3 C8 E" D, y5 `0 V, XMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
0 `: S( h- ^3 h3 q0 C' C5 l- @4 V- }+ o  Osuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
& ^* r6 h$ ]6 W( a$ R: \! Dand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# F# A2 Q- i$ s& pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
. K: l7 t9 h: A/ w! }Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
% W1 p' F6 y8 |# yMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& M6 y8 i; f6 x% [$ u, g9 o+ W0 a  Shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
0 _) f# Q! [1 _3 u( b9 W6 R7 z% N% }Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
( T" Q" _" I1 g! e# k" Othe quality of the end product.
8 P" H6 k6 Y) g7 z+ a6 PResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 ?4 M3 x9 |! B& u' m6 g: Q, Sjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
, M4 o$ O5 y$ |4 m
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
# \3 c! i' M6 S* v: I, ?4 Lupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% d& v: {2 S2 E3 r- Q' z4 a) GNone required, unfortunately.
* H6 R1 x0 y  q* ~/ z: {9 J& U- MOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
, T: x( N: G. Z1 x( X0 La balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
9 V2 I8 }1 H; d9 o! Y% X1 F& Obecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
" {% f& ?9 i& c+ sThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
6 V) t1 w; x4 Z& QWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
4 x# J- N5 p* G! ino stock options are offered,
' U5 \* g9 V8 fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
$ }0 h. t7 B8 ?: o2 ]: T
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
8 S& _- s$ C) D* h
for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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8 T/ p- K- J; D; l7 Y/ F9 Y; \Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
/ n7 ^: t' _9 C2 U! Yfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
4 X# R( r( V/ Rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.