Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
; X& i2 S9 J' u3 [2 P/ YMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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: s! k/ A2 K0 s  o+ z9 uJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

( _; }/ E$ I  b# K( ?( }  `1 ?; opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- M" Z+ X% F1 |6 n  wCandidates must possess excellent communication
2 G: ~0 ?. K, v( E! ^( U  A* A5 h- Cand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
1 \7 G/ U+ a, c, iand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
/ z/ H# \$ E' @1 l( V9 p, ZSome overnight travel required, including trips to
0 _% z6 X" F0 ~8 v: qprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
( q; w& }" _/ O3 sendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
( [- m* S0 P. U3 b" N6 b4 L  S" G, bTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: o# T  q% A8 ?) A( vin case, this time, the screams from
/ W6 d4 _% Q/ r0 `+ X( Bthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
& f; u$ }( p+ U4 Gand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( R' r: H$ J- [  uMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 L" }5 @1 g! L6 R  f3 gMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
! o% Z' L  V2 N: Q/ z  w, S1 g' }Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, I3 @& c7 Q  P# [half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
3 y4 E; u0 i. T: V; k7 @3 q5 QNone.
6 H( ~  t; @7 x& u3 N8 zYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
& z( g5 g7 v0 d. a# E7 i3 o1 V5 @updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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5 |0 j0 w" j& m$ C' e: F, Y% [PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% L7 t  f5 `6 iNone required, unfortunately.
+ l( a8 A1 ?: U5 p6 c5 w: Z+ v  kOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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1 G+ G3 R" b3 [" ~; {1 I) wWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
7 r* w# O+ L: T) i2 f5 yOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
. u2 J3 `# M! F$ P5 S# S/ Va balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- F8 L  h2 Q  F1 e9 xof the assumption that college will help them
# L2 e7 G$ [, ~' R8 G. @4 m- H8 Nbecome financially independent.
3 Q! M  X# C( G$ W2 t# K2 J* XWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
! t! o$ ], ^8 K# M$ PThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. K$ l& Y/ c& M* t0 |; @" M9 v+ iyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
. V7 R2 l3 c# f3 _While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
8 V: G6 E- T8 N9 w) Kno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
& h' r0 l% ?% F2 F4 a! qno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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  O' ]( }  ^) F** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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$ m8 T# p' N  MForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
( M5 B- p1 G( ^$ C, Z5 kletting them know they are appreciated
3 A/ G+ P1 `: W7 ofor the fabulous job they do...
( p% m- _+ O: ior forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.