 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 2 S, M. n' A# z) u- K
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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8 S- Y; ^& |$ m' n# N9 @JOB DESCRIPTION:5 X5 E8 ]( k' Y) f# I8 V7 _
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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6 a# s2 N' L3 a y R8 Z% Zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. 5 [/ Z) J! C7 _8 A6 F
Candidates must possess excellent communication
" M* d ~2 M% \* L0 _and organizational skills and be willing to work 9 Q% r6 b7 I$ ^" Z* Q/ }% @
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 L% F/ y% J7 J3 A Y" w! gand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 4 h3 w% G# [6 v5 ]% f* X
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
8 Q: a5 C: N0 i; }& f* pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
; g; E [/ U3 K" hendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
8 d* |4 e* |$ Q" ~$ jTravel expenses not reimbursed. $ `! E1 S, M5 _
Extensive courier duties also required. 2 c! S( D2 t2 i) t! A
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RESPONSIBILITIES:; D) t' F2 G+ {$ S
The rest of your life. " D8 I; y- b! g2 O. h6 ~
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 i/ C* t T: ?. `* V2 H' Luntil someone needs $5. . l9 t) [1 F s
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
3 i0 o1 c- f8 I6 ~' XAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ! [" y% ^( N8 j' x7 w( K
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat ) O- a6 H* g; _: S
in case, this time, the screams from ; O1 e: S! _' Y5 n
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
& _/ y) `5 ^; ?! H& cMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' {' ]- K3 s: e: v% y7 rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 i$ S6 w/ ~9 Dand stuck zippers. 9 m$ F8 s' w" ?2 D5 l
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and * G2 {' v: H- v. a" ~! }
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ L& f- m; }/ @- q9 d; f5 `( y KMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. ) l' I" K4 D# M4 O8 g. K' S
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, " ~' k6 ^% g8 f$ [7 _
an embarrassment the next.
+ Q2 D( U- A; bMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
1 q- _3 V: Z; E! T Khalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 4 D# K5 F* e5 H) l8 | t
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. / D; Y$ F6 g8 |7 A: v! X' ?8 r
Must assume final, complete accountability for
: o5 ]$ N% `- Z! q; ithe quality of the end product.
4 x, a A# a, C9 e4 |Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 6 |, [; s' |2 k- \
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:: t: ?9 D7 i. b
None. : {: I# K( L! q; M6 j9 H9 f
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
+ ?: ?) M6 f" m+ v8 ~& i7 d+ Fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
: H; d; `! K6 T" Z- P. }0 Tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge 0 ~" e* {7 d* T3 F, Q! B$ I/ q
can ultimately surpass you.
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# R& y+ f& p; cPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( Y+ h! {( M; O& u" x! ?+ ^ `None required, unfortunately. 9 u$ ?% {7 Y3 `1 W+ U
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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# C* O. `" ~6 ~+ OWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
6 ^5 i$ X5 h4 k+ b5 yGet this! You pay them! 4 v7 Z! T. \" h/ Q3 `6 a6 m% \
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
( s0 o- s2 }. M. |- Ca balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 R1 y, }0 l7 uof the assumption that college will help them 4 S" o) b# B B8 w7 g: m* N
become financially independent.
N0 f9 p4 l+ X; w/ U9 |: u% f3 zWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. + j8 [- K) @4 m2 c9 j4 k$ v% q9 {8 C: r
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ) y7 n) R- N8 g4 H0 B
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. & f% v% M- X9 A/ P ^, A: x
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BENEFITS: 7 I, {& n, J! J8 d+ J+ n: i" V
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ' ~7 M M- f$ H$ z
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ! \8 c0 i# Z5 Q. @ z
no stock options are offered,
9 @& E p# L1 T# h6 V% H; [this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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3 X5 g- y; s# x' _% b0 n! junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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. b4 v' i8 c8 y8 x& h2 Ufor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ _5 U# r! z# ~letting them know they are appreciated
* R4 H, J0 K' G' Ffor the fabulous job they do... 7 y) ^1 p1 l& u: a* \+ L( w% A
or forward with love $ X% e0 p; P' q( A
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.+ B9 u4 U# R$ j% s0 W0 Y* c1 y1 k
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
