Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
  c2 J$ F+ Z' ^, V1 X4 x2 _Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
' k( r, p) t- z* e) k4 {8 H1 T. }variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" m- n- N2 j6 bSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
6 @; K3 h1 E# sendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

9 e) E+ K& P* E, RRESPONSIBILITIES:
3 O5 G9 O% g. c. wThe rest of your life.
- H$ c3 K$ P, O& H  A; q" k- IMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
, i! S3 }& I0 W1 K3 g3 hMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& [* @% l( K0 H4 v6 sAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* F, C8 l- Z2 Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 s2 _: n9 }4 ^$ r' i! gin case, this time, the screams from
) ?" }' }! L& q7 a: o# |8 mthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 H2 @+ l# N! N8 [Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
5 E! h) x9 m# \5 I5 Esuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
& A. K) j* x; r' vand stuck zippers.
3 F; t3 s$ s% n8 q4 c" p# pMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 B/ G$ a, ?* D, ^+ [+ ?coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' J* l' E0 \1 G- X) p' F4 bMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
$ o' I! c) Y2 m. ]3 g+ U: N+ B2 _Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ |- T- V2 ^$ b: o0 D  Ahalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
$ a$ o5 d1 f8 [, XMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ Y1 x) O' S8 vjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
4 J2 C5 R- E* d- i+ Qwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
) U+ w2 T! D9 B4 v* Q$ X( ^: wOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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+ d$ e5 Z  n. W0 ]6 L! TWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
/ F& O7 T. J! O0 F+ d2 K; E6 jOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
4 o8 `/ R: ?  {4 C; \8 x( `2 abecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
# c) U2 f+ w: HThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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2 a9 W2 y! C2 lBENEFITS:
" Z. ^) \3 s& \" Z1 k% gWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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1 I3 }3 ^% A0 |. J/ t** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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& O/ v( A9 A/ ?; [Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
& g+ m7 W& r9 n) Dfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
7 h% M$ h! I' q/ {+ t; b0 }to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.