Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
2 b7 F9 R' t* t2 F( k6 GDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

. }8 L, g7 d) D3 e3 k" O4 G9 |permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 Y0 S+ U5 b" ]8 wCandidates must possess excellent communication
3 ^0 _+ V% F. s9 uand organizational skills and be willing to work
# C2 C$ ~1 l: G8 Zvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' V$ ^$ d1 F+ l) J6 K4 uand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; Q1 h  n4 V# z5 @* RSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
0 s$ E$ `/ F( y, r. v7 S  P  R) lendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
9 ?) F, n0 V; w! R/ P; i/ P- [Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
$ k5 a( {' {' e3 tThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
7 b1 v- A, X- [  k% u, u  [0 |Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
! o8 f, D1 h+ g  c, G, R: _9 Dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
0 p! l1 i5 m0 g2 X; l: }such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: r4 M7 ]3 i% ]6 @! }and stuck zippers.
8 O. h" }/ ?) G7 k* X6 T  pMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ _& E. o- i9 D0 D, ^* e7 ucoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" i! m8 ?7 R# G) xMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
( X& P/ b% d) U5 aMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
' T! \6 {4 h' A) C9 d8 j$ J& E. JResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
# R+ m& ?% |- ?+ X0 M0 _" y: u# yjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
; l# M. T# ^4 X4 }3 s* O+ T* bYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
4 t( h& C; K+ b* C" ccan ultimately surpass you.
- f0 f( {& x& S
& ?( m" X! O, M$ E% k$ b
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

( [2 E  h: ^! h' a6 v, i& [& bWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
2 c$ q' l, T7 y2 `1 H8 H2 `0 Z$ VGet this! You pay them!
# \8 u& Z0 a9 sOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
: G- [( O, @" ^6 w' Ta balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
8 v+ z! O5 G6 V" Lbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
5 U2 g1 j% _. _2 V  J" k8 V! mThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
' E3 r4 |8 s8 v% a# A
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
! V/ S- }5 l9 Q/ f) h0 G& |8 dno stock options are offered,
" R8 Q% H0 G" u" [& Q, k$ O( Qthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

% I, b; z2 U+ N2 qunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.




2 @7 d( o& ~* Z2 g  j; [) N** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
3 _3 M) ?* T8 p/ h+ r0 s8 V


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
5 O% E2 U. z. D; |2 Xfor the fabulous job they do...
4 l* R3 U4 R. [1 G! Q5 v: X& l& Lor forward with love
5 K9 t3 V! u# Q; ]% o7 f( ^to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
3 N6 P8 @; ^1 ^! |3 x

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.