Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
; n3 m- W7 ?5 {* I8 Q! _; eDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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- Z& \/ m- ^# W8 MJOB DESCRIPTION:
" p, j9 \. N; m0 WLong term, team players needed for challenging,

+ X1 W( z' P- J, ?permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
1 [! p+ d3 N* [, o  h0 M; cand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
9 ^( R0 s& v) e( w8 [9 [1 o/ sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
$ J# b: b/ q/ k" Z+ E$ rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% |5 r, R& ^$ q; y2 {; C1 k9 u* H* ?Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
  o. p* Y) E- b9 ]) AThe rest of your life.
# a# K- ^, j- fMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ X' [- o1 S$ _2 N; ^: |" u- Uuntil someone needs $5.
1 B! }2 b" K& G$ zMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 k, u2 x3 o" u+ P- ein case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
$ w3 q# q! _; y6 nMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
( r- K$ _' y7 Z- u1 L1 A8 p; fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
% W  }1 E& Q9 {9 mMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& n: W, z! h1 q/ g& w  |- G" {; mcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ a: s3 f# P2 z2 k7 C, \! IMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
% K- ?. e6 T% t# FMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 P$ q- B4 @1 J  T2 |2 }, Khalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
3 \. U% F1 \" A1 |4 zthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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) w0 G: U; Y  R- h% l: W0 ^POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
# j0 F! E" V* PYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
! ^. D! O+ C# \+ Y/ I- cwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
; R& w5 k) J$ S- o/ u3 V( Vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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2 f4 B; T0 P  o+ R' y8 NPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 b1 k9 }5 n( S! V3 M2 z- N; v% KNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
. O9 a; ]* p7 G9 N  d9 n5 eOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) H) l/ k7 d! D5 j- S1 w3 k/ @of the assumption that college will help them
- Y5 J* E* m! Z7 n6 wbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
5 ]  n) D2 {5 N( ]5 v, T, syou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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: k8 w% ^5 r9 W1 S6 O0 d: IBENEFITS:
6 o7 Z) `& G2 O/ s5 V5 y- i* XWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
( m8 v  k* @: @' jno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 s# ?, m0 R4 S' g3 s; d3 E9 hno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
: b3 F+ y, H) ^! S) x0 X
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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& w6 Q& b$ R2 y9 V* y** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* }0 e. ~3 l* v, dletting them know they are appreciated
& r1 H2 V. U$ D6 b# P, T/ o, Xfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.