 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 9 S$ h) {0 H6 Z7 d# b
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:1 f0 _, c0 ~4 N+ Q8 Q
Long term, team players needed for challenging,+ `' @+ @# H. }- t) d$ f' m3 I
9 `, @3 M" P' _) gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. / k4 W1 M" ^- E
Candidates must possess excellent communication E% r2 H# d. _/ S1 _7 M' E, D1 W
and organizational skills and be willing to work : h: J( B5 ?8 Y. Z% w8 [, ~1 B
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 9 }6 g+ j4 _, j2 X) t" B4 M
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 2 A' r3 ~6 G5 u8 d. I+ z; g
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
, }! `6 K; e, \4 Nprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
, G7 [, f- A* D' t& r; g, wendless sports tournaments in far away cities! + m/ C, h( y- k+ l8 V9 W
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
2 T" h+ B; ?: f6 v+ N9 |$ uExtensive courier duties also required. * F; K8 V% }# r9 K! j- c' `) C. t8 C
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
1 @) R0 Q1 Q& Z( P5 T6 n7 W& IThe rest of your life.
# j: {. y& _; C$ X4 _- [Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, & L8 [+ n% d5 }# C9 U+ R# V
until someone needs $5.
. E z9 t) c, u" M9 ]4 S9 \Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
9 Q8 a3 A O: X# O& l AAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 0 E# y. M- ?4 W* C, ?, a
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
( b# k1 t+ G4 Q0 E/ ]in case, this time, the screams from + F: v8 K' H% z
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. : ^6 l3 q( D# D2 [5 Q
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ x3 K3 w z4 E+ s' o; Ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 7 G+ d: u2 ?0 h$ v; z# X
and stuck zippers. 2 ~6 p5 ~$ d" q4 X0 w2 i
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
' t( W2 x) u! _! n' Mcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" s$ a3 U' Y8 M( {9 h$ zMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. & ~4 y* s1 |# [+ A8 n* x
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 0 V1 u6 b! z3 }% L! l1 N
an embarrassment the next. . m% Z0 I2 ^6 L9 g% {3 I7 `
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 6 I- @& f6 a0 z
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. , C1 c& s, S# |+ j% a
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
; c8 |1 `7 A" I5 o& aMust assume final, complete accountability for & ^3 V0 l; \$ y% Q" ^) p
the quality of the end product.
& G* E. M+ I0 n$ w6 {( jResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and 4 H2 L2 s/ n, d6 p: u0 a' Q. y4 k
janitorial work throughout the facility. $ t# I; p/ i4 B3 G3 |
( \- Q/ W; U9 FPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:) M3 H; ?: d u5 h
None.
2 ^, M2 h% d8 L; Y$ R k5 nYour job is to remain in the same position for years, 7 ^; f* a, M" n5 s) _" s# n
without complaining,constantly retraining and 2 {- {& O2 S* J+ q" M) u
updating your skills, so that those in your charge ' m4 c$ r4 S3 w3 v
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 9 c4 `) h% r8 I9 v9 |9 @$ [
None required, unfortunately.
" Q( G5 s# ]( ]5 n; XOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 8 ~$ b7 U7 }6 x: r B8 j! \" i2 k
Get this! You pay them!
) F4 z, ^- R0 L, t/ QOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
% n+ {0 f3 {7 }5 Y( l% Fa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because * v; G# ]: R& H! }7 _* K* W
of the assumption that college will help them
8 c/ W \. m+ h7 m, s" a9 ~become financially independent. . Y' R4 \5 e8 C8 L8 S7 \
When you die, you give them whatever is left. 3 j& s6 e- J2 n8 O/ m$ {
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 2 E7 Y4 {, \0 v0 k p4 ^1 c- T
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. ' t/ y, l7 J" e# }* j' m5 `- ?
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BENEFITS:
2 u" s) L; h% S6 a. {+ i5 ZWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 4 }& N' B0 G1 K2 e9 c
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
0 z! ~+ { O7 P+ e; |% `6 S& ?. sno stock options are offered,3 a. ^2 F7 A( {' z% h
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **9 m- J% z1 T3 M" ]* Z
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, ! I# o; t# j; z, ^1 U+ q9 V2 f
letting them know they are appreciated 7 T9 m* E# M/ B3 ~
for the fabulous job they do... F$ B3 r" Y3 d g8 T1 }
or forward with love , B* j8 _2 q3 U
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.5 O. W- S/ Q8 X/ F, Y
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
