Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

$ T! y: o' s6 j: F; H# y, {
3 ^9 ]3 t* ~5 k, k0 n5 EJOB DESCRIPTION:
: ]6 J0 [/ t: u3 C4 |Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* J$ q" Y  c1 I: n6 A7 m# k( _Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
0 ^. Y% `# c+ N; b- k3 _. Ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; E' F8 }5 _  v, y& l* b5 o6 C1 CSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  x' }5 z! D+ Y7 U1 kTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
) v; G: Y$ P: a5 j$ o- |5 B& ~
RESPONSIBILITIES:
7 h; Q* ]3 O; i! RThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
% C) Q+ {+ G( }and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
) Z2 V& q$ n* f: ?3 l% Qin case, this time, the screams from
* L$ I7 t; G- _8 L! othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 e/ S. g1 L1 i* L  [* S" x( |' Uand stuck zippers.
2 r2 [; P# ]& x' B0 `" |# Z7 BMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# V9 r+ p7 v! r. _6 A$ QMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
" e/ K1 ~0 N% c( nan embarrassment the next.
) S# E( m# l8 y/ x1 @7 G( QMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 l2 Z3 @5 _/ C1 ?0 C! Ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; W' A- I" N3 H' n+ k' c4 VMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* V5 _5 P) L, I6 M  D1 I. oMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
: a6 R& v8 l- ]2 D: D) K- jResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
' v2 E, F0 p+ f( V, ?+ dNone.
6 g. A+ t* J0 @" x$ GYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 z2 f: _6 }1 A2 w. {) ENone required, unfortunately.
5 W) i, L# x! a9 g7 n; y- k0 oOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
1 \: H: g8 A6 w: a3 Z. T
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
5 w, O% |9 c- P3 jGet this! You pay them!
* j! V0 l* q# Z' ^. uOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
3 j. D$ x  g% X& Xof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
4 Q; H4 ~% u9 G8 h# V0 uThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
, _: T% f% t# A# e8 R+ G) Q
BENEFITS:
) G. P% [) q' W3 x& wWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
5 l) m/ [# A. h6 |4 B6 Eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
) R; u  i7 I  I- K  c# [, pthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
- R# c  u4 x7 A' w& Z% P
# ], k# w+ }  k; Gfor life if you play your cards right.
# b. g2 f; h* V6 Q  q! ^5 y
! q! Q3 X$ q  W


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

: w: c, O( ~" R& ]/ W: I
) ~5 \, N* k6 P2 f) p$ e) |7 E
4 x  J; M8 I# d8 M. CForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 W/ S3 n) W' _$ kletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
0 b/ l) g8 _: h% `+ `% uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.