Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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" _3 Y" N( ^+ A) Z$ U7 @- j+ S+ x6 HJOB DESCRIPTION:
4 Y1 }9 Q2 D, i; z9 N+ ILong term, team players needed for challenging,

4 D* E- T  m4 cpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) _, h; _+ O5 K  dCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
( t( M/ O, {/ ]* o4 Z/ |: Svariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
0 \+ I1 M$ \) A/ Xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 v# v) a0 c% tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
& r2 @; V. {7 hTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
! Y- H" [/ {& y5 UThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 l& U- X# n# Y0 Cuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ n# D1 L% R8 _- Q& W) qAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
( l! C/ p$ ?( }0 sthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" y5 w9 V! c5 XMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 _! f. M9 `. S7 C) @; Hsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
  R" T) u1 P4 S- H1 i# z% n5 ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  U+ W) j- w/ q5 V& ran embarrassment the next.
! g: G$ V$ M$ k& {  }& I$ [) X1 i3 I2 eMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
6 I* y+ e' w- LMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
6 V- ^, a2 p! r/ AResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 A) m2 g6 p5 gjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

: F; O5 O: p4 N8 CPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
1 i& t. O0 U5 Z6 G0 h5 HYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
( Z9 O0 x7 Z9 Acan ultimately surpass you.
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! e+ Y. b2 \" l6 r, J0 W& k3 ~' RPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
/ S1 u$ c% o3 l4 p( hOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
: ]3 k" @- p% o/ q! }Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
8 X4 @8 [6 ]; _6 Pa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
) j. ~2 p5 s# F5 }5 n$ dWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
. K1 g: ^) C7 u2 R0 }2 wThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! E1 t! \  M2 b7 L# P% f) b! q' uyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

) ?4 A$ a7 j$ x4 v! NBENEFITS:
. I' v! w8 o9 ?While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ d" T( @- m, nno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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4 A8 R+ C: k8 w' l/ I7 Z% K** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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2 j% r, T$ r0 j6 Z! wForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
8 W# n' k$ _- Hor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.