Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
6 K4 z5 {8 y" C0 K, ?6 G( Q; PMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( }$ c: I5 @8 `# }$ }6 B; aDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
8 B5 u3 ?3 M' w* Z3 x$ fLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: m- i* W2 @5 V2 Gand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
0 |/ \! E8 n, L1 a8 O$ z- d8 }2 Nprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' B- s3 `$ @7 b# w' ^* Q8 Pendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
# T4 B9 z- X2 iTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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% X2 d3 D9 j  [1 f7 c4 D- u: b+ m0 G) iRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
0 [& Z2 O5 N- {) ?Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ p; C. `  n- `$ d+ P* eAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' r9 a; g2 F" L9 I( {such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  \/ U: ?( v) a% U  W3 land stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
! |5 e' [9 X+ }+ CMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 S$ ]  M& P8 Y2 T- Ian embarrassment the next.
' p7 `) m# f) [9 O* T" [6 CMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
0 w- p  N7 D/ g8 W8 {( V0 Y; z9 @Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. M/ L1 \; D3 m. C) kMust assume final, complete accountability for
( \# B( |9 y$ O/ r3 cthe quality of the end product.
0 H& m2 u6 s" p- I$ A+ L4 VResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
$ o: M% D8 a5 v9 mNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
6 U' W: F' l  s2 Y9 P3 m! Qcan ultimately surpass you.

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0 }, g* V( O% x8 H6 ^1 {PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 q) L. d, Z' g" Y' r! ^None required, unfortunately.
! c; T( R" _# HOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

% H. n- ?' \: M8 ^WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
5 H4 u3 j; ?- E7 o" Aof the assumption that college will help them
4 U. L' `4 |3 Z6 |- E- u: Gbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
" W" p  ?; f$ n/ _. f1 C2 w& PThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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8 u5 t, X& a; }( s. lBENEFITS:
* V) b4 I& X; n: c2 XWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
4 k4 S' K" n. X, h# e/ yno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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- j6 \/ N; ~: A0 h* [! s/ c% ffor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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! I" P1 V* V4 z# I  ?) HForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
# _9 J" g$ n7 ^4 m  Uor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.