Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
2 P+ v$ S( r! |$ B0 `( WLong term, team players needed for challenging,

, v8 g5 _) L  D( t1 O: }; y; X0 ?permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
7 {: k* Q0 F; r" A4 }! sand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
& ]  G3 X* B, i0 g, _0 Kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
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Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
) \& p% W  K0 t$ C4 x2 T% lThe rest of your life.
, U! o7 S/ @5 cMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 K& Y* E  Z& ?until someone needs $5.
$ ?. j4 x$ x) [Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 _/ u% J0 C  r' m: uAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
5 e) H* |5 a% M" A; K  Tin case, this time, the screams from
+ R# p9 u2 I, Athe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. q& x3 ]; s/ K; ZMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
5 W5 F( l! U  a9 f( nMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
0 Q9 {/ w- q/ G8 Qcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
- ?8 W& o" i2 {6 F" w0 ~Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. T4 w' z& q* i7 cMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
& p& g% g. n0 O  ~2 w6 uMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
# O+ M6 u1 i# s' G1 KMust assume final, complete accountability for
) e( F9 y2 n+ o' t5 r; _the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 G$ N) d/ v) f7 I# \janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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/ G/ Z$ R/ I7 aPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
. p+ L2 r, R' M4 [" ~Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
5 {1 r- N4 a2 v6 K0 bOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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9 N* U1 K9 l" D5 `5 j( y# xWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 x# x' ?8 ~. J$ WGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
! N+ o: p* x/ n& z7 za balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
( D' _" P' ^: K1 W6 C: Kof the assumption that college will help them
. x) `* w! @( E3 k9 B' s" nbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
. c7 e8 B8 w6 u# T3 ^3 PThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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3 [  G) F/ S2 i$ b! z: b, Tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

1 }* v1 D2 w$ Q$ G' zfor life if you play your cards right.

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9 E* b% u! n- B$ D: V** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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' B  \0 Q; ~5 ?. J& Z0 Q. I4 A- xForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
( M+ k0 M0 O7 p* Vletting them know they are appreciated
) l( O$ {, W1 w$ l! Afor the fabulous job they do...
' K% E6 y+ |0 o8 m. Y6 c8 Uor forward with love
5 L8 m$ `5 t$ O* I% `& |# Z. ito anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.