Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
/ P/ j3 g8 _. j; g0 x# rMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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# a+ T. [5 c- [8 {6 Ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
2 g+ O/ @, P# \and organizational skills and be willing to work
; j; @$ n6 i/ Q# E6 Uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# G6 c6 O/ K+ w, `5 t; T; Rendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
- C3 _$ e/ B4 O& C5 h7 nThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
# w8 U, Z4 g# K& D4 l& Xuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
% ~; _6 H( v2 P! d/ j% u# zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
% ?8 ^; I. z' D! N5 ~Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  q% f: ]" s) Rand stuck zippers.
5 M/ p8 O* y& ?" QMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
5 b+ r- I- f7 x& ]2 @Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ M$ [. A0 v+ P. `half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
5 @. J! d8 f7 g! @Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) k( h( v1 q+ G  ^% [, HMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. r' j$ t/ u& e) Rjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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! \  E3 W* `0 ~0 _9 `POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
$ Y; A7 A' i) ]. }Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
% E* w( S/ u6 fcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
' \+ z( a( d( n3 l* AOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

- c: e* Y5 a. W3 o4 n- |2 ~WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) \! y% G% D! N/ S2 ^3 h  ~& Z9 s3 r6 iof the assumption that college will help them
) D" _0 X; W8 Y( M% [' Dbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
4 _% \8 V2 Q$ H& ]; [The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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7 z0 [" z" F" p* N! g# kBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
: c: L4 X- U" M0 u7 W9 mthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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6 [4 b+ \/ g0 y' Punconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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# l' E- S# w) w, ^for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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) q; M2 F' j; j+ P3 d' K' F8 ~# `* uForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, U- [9 x0 J7 i4 tletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
& Z* D, h; Q1 p+ b! q: L  \or forward with love
5 l1 I, h; r6 b% q8 Sto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.