 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma + R m/ T/ c, D9 C
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa4 K/ j1 Q1 X. t' `
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* n8 f0 Z$ ?$ t, N, jJOB DESCRIPTION:' I& y; m; B7 X0 O" U, S1 ?
Long term, team players needed for challenging,! }9 Y7 G# a' o" t
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
( D+ X/ c# L/ _, ]Candidates must possess excellent communication
" X4 N: k' H/ m, hand organizational skills and be willing to work 7 W7 C( U) ]9 l2 v- G) V
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- M% ^5 ]! t# l6 `and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# v6 B' {8 B) j6 U$ Z7 r( \: vSome overnight travel required, including trips to $ y. U( }, \' ^/ c8 X& v' D( ^
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
8 E' C4 k8 G1 h8 H" xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
/ v* M: {- M) g, {Travel expenses not reimbursed. $ J: F) J5 b! f6 g% |
Extensive courier duties also required. 6 o4 h& N3 ~5 l- x {; D
0 t& e5 ^- K( `; U( {( h& Y2 wRESPONSIBILITIES:
7 ^! B# o" q) h; j3 L. GThe rest of your life.
# w! l ?6 ]" w# A% R, CMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
, N \' c! N# v" }7 O. e7 ]. ]# duntil someone needs $5. 9 x; V& S0 M9 ]
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 5 t+ A; K# m! L: s! ?/ z# `
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ( Z- p& e- e T- m. m
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, r$ X0 w8 m4 b+ bin case, this time, the screams from
- @) O/ k5 E U6 Dthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. & Q/ ?+ @* c. @ D: ]3 [4 i3 R5 Q
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 e: z" A3 K- {; [; [, _such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- l) [( b9 F3 ]- z! `4 I! Q/ a4 a) D% wand stuck zippers. , J* f6 i2 m7 @! ?3 d/ o
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( P. z" R4 v+ v' `5 Ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ V( p. f, o# R* P1 M+ [) O& t+ S4 g' vMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
; c) r: m0 m& C' X- e) u. KMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 L2 @$ w6 Q# k2 ~+ ]% d) yan embarrassment the next.
; r" c2 f& ?! ^) C' y* oMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% p5 M s4 v* H# ?half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. - | g9 Y1 P5 U! m% _! A
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
, f! o. G5 T2 J( S- \4 J y fMust assume final, complete accountability for % o, K* h$ w8 X. ~3 w$ o C
the quality of the end product. " m' K/ F9 m& V+ c
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and ( b8 A: L( w ` B9 @8 H
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:, U" c3 S* h* n; ?; i
None.
0 f2 M+ D/ @, p3 ^8 SYour job is to remain in the same position for years, / w9 _: N7 b3 }* |2 O
without complaining,constantly retraining and
Q- Y. G! O) x2 V6 o& tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge 6 H, q, s( Y( r S: s
can ultimately surpass you.6 ^; L, [2 n( T8 S' m. i% L6 u* c
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2 O/ c2 H+ k+ } H2 hPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ) `& T8 U. ~4 ]; j i
None required, unfortunately.
& h3 Z |: m; a$ T/ c9 M7 lOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 2 e& C8 R% G4 y, g7 T8 Z
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: + Q5 G0 Q/ |5 N: h7 J+ }+ h: i
Get this! You pay them! 4 ~( D& ?1 A; H. o* p- M
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. Z7 X& B: F- s
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
5 M, {" e A# m m7 ~( Oof the assumption that college will help them - C4 X& k: a) v* w/ J; _
become financially independent.
- F8 g4 i4 {) P$ rWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
2 m) x. P& O* r7 X/ N" ?: K" pThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
% n( G5 P* I& ?+ L& xyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 2 t, u1 D, C2 j/ }$ q# n
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BENEFITS: ! n6 L4 W/ B3 [ D- a+ q# @* }
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, & ~7 H( T! q h. ~- I
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and * ~# A) Q* U1 F+ c6 z( x' S$ A2 a: V
no stock options are offered,
5 c+ i& J' \1 h( I7 v0 p- I9 Rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 2 S9 C& R( O m# |* \8 q* \) z
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **1 y- E; R. O7 `4 K
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
0 `- a4 |# y6 r' {' L. y1 Nletting them know they are appreciated . S' \) p! k/ j5 k9 G
for the fabulous job they do...
; M# G3 ?: e. Oor forward with love
! X! E; c4 T/ E; G3 cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.7 m+ q9 G) j2 W! }4 K
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
