Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
( p0 e# C! Q3 ELong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 E* T0 D; M4 ~3 q. ~! ACandidates must possess excellent communication
) l0 f. E, l1 q0 p1 j1 c5 rand organizational skills and be willing to work
/ `; o( v; }) U3 D  \variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& E! W  j& ^) W$ [* F( D) ySome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
) Y0 D% @/ W( @endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
& A& I0 k& n6 B# zTravel expenses not reimbursed.
; Q: c2 m" N" T7 M7 HExtensive courier duties also required.
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* d9 r, v( G9 A0 r6 c6 z6 JRESPONSIBILITIES:
% ~; \5 c# c7 l4 |The rest of your life.
- \7 z1 `# s5 h3 I$ Y2 l( HMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
# O% U5 Z1 w& [, Q( ]until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* |0 q- Z5 e- Y% j* c3 r/ Oand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 x" F; G  G1 v& O* v+ X0 M1 ain case, this time, the screams from
: v. U+ |  T2 P6 Cthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. H  S. |+ d( l  r$ g, O# \, |Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
5 L. Z5 Y. G' [& ~: l# nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 p) _7 ^5 _) A6 p9 d$ N: z! @6 Pand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' T. J! f5 u6 d3 O: w, d* M5 c: GMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
( A2 @' G, h' L$ d! }+ m* j) a- PMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
+ ^1 N) f* R9 L9 j) s0 x8 N7 Van embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
6 D/ M0 D+ `) }Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' d/ p3 u/ F3 JMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
$ H+ q( D# n6 D3 V5 w: XResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
# F1 x2 p8 U" |, ?6 @6 p. W) t7 D& ajanitorial work  throughout the facility.

. K2 O& N8 |) u4 G$ IPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
+ D0 _! p+ p# ~8 h" v6 ENone.
3 z9 F$ u4 p& B( |$ Y2 \Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 z  w: L% {6 s# Uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
! k6 f, c, s' D" o/ m0 A' @4 ~, jNone required, unfortunately.
! v" j+ q( O8 x' {On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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  N+ n! C$ n, y9 K7 @4 Q' vWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
/ X% X6 L0 e, M* M# x, |/ A7 J( JGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
- C4 @$ U% N  r/ L4 `1 ]1 ta balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
; S9 J. [6 ~! obecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
& o' R( R% V; `, m5 kThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
# E8 n, t! x9 I5 }: D. N. M" w7 C) myou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
9 a- B" M' l# }4 g9 N5 MWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# r/ X+ m' f9 B2 j' }5 e$ t  f7 _( E' ^no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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1 b1 r) V4 K  @/ h** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
3 v0 M% _+ S9 Z0 L$ nletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
! z. ]! e' p3 F3 kor forward with love
9 v: L/ P$ F& O1 `+ K! q- qto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.