 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
1 `& c1 d+ F) `2 yMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
, s9 w: I. Z8 A8 _Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
+ B# n& o7 e' A; Q% M
! y q& c" B" ^# L; h" ?; ^! X8 q! W0 t) f3 T5 @/ B
JOB DESCRIPTION:
4 W. I7 ?0 C. BLong term, team players needed for challenging,
9 ^ Z( n; [9 l4 c4 s' u/ x( s/ s1 k% J2 Z- Q2 X; e# S: H! X6 {
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
, j8 K0 Q' H# a Z& ?, PCandidates must possess excellent communication 7 q- f6 G1 p* e: V6 n/ _+ F
and organizational skills and be willing to work
. f, y8 q; u6 ?( R5 zvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 O) s1 o; Q& q, N$ T/ ^and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. ; n0 ?- P3 `6 Q% ]$ ]. {
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 9 l% f I9 v" E: u
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
3 A p' f2 Q$ e( m u+ p5 {% m- O0 cendless sports tournaments in far away cities! 4 g, \8 V4 R N. e% P' P. n
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
. I; S8 E; `0 Q* eExtensive courier duties also required. ; R; Y" ]7 x9 w+ J2 ~' ^# B2 g# m9 l
5 @/ d& ?# f! p9 ]" U
RESPONSIBILITIES:9 B/ N0 i, _( G3 I: J! J# d& [' L) [
The rest of your life.
) S% Q& f# r8 wMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, : X9 T, |5 k5 Y6 R' x& d# w
until someone needs $5. 8 S$ B4 M; i; R2 w) }/ {- w# z
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 0 {8 ]7 `- L5 v/ d2 t; T/ a
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' [, C1 E7 ]9 [/ N* F* {9 Cand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, K) ?1 V, o9 d/ Min case, this time, the screams from + x4 f* V+ N# _" ?
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
% c& h1 u: {( L2 X8 i/ p& J9 s1 rMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ G4 _. o0 C- _# P# X0 Ssuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets " F' I$ G* p0 B7 o1 z2 u Q
and stuck zippers.
' Z, T( d5 o. s0 h" |! JMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# `/ ?9 n+ V) i" w s' c6 ?' fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. ! k6 m. g5 K) @7 E1 G" p5 G) X
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 7 _0 x) b3 U! r4 n# @
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 6 W9 A! @7 X! n5 s
an embarrassment the next. : ^) ^5 J& v' g# V% i$ b" ?, d
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
# @5 p5 K, Q Z: ^* ?half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ) t+ U' R2 Y5 g+ N* V8 x |
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
; F2 q3 F6 Y$ K. r- I& F; N$ aMust assume final, complete accountability for 5 C9 v( X6 Y+ T `: b, O
the quality of the end product. $ Y8 \9 O. `$ `
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 3 y0 f; X u+ u5 L
janitorial work throughout the facility.
* ~: a' ]6 C% Z: E0 L8 J+ j* X9 J2 y
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
4 P2 c& H& q! Q7 n% TNone. ' g+ x9 M! }( E: n) |, h
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
) o- H) R5 [2 z. T4 Nwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
2 m% O, K( V8 n; Fupdating your skills, so that those in your charge ; P/ u( {% T% n$ p
can ultimately surpass you.
2 D9 @- a, p4 q6 m2 K% M- k! {3 z8 C# t+ A7 q2 ^: f7 I' M
) a# l) e: U' Q0 U. g
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: . I& ?1 d, C5 g- W- r
None required, unfortunately.
* a+ [: K6 [4 m: E1 GOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
+ H0 [; m' h3 b+ ]$ }
+ o8 K* j$ {: |! R' z6 F+ E) _WAGES AND COMPENSATION: ; r( N9 p$ O: V; k& r
Get this! You pay them! ' N9 Z5 l0 p. k$ q& L
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
+ g' y, U% { D, U& U$ _a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
3 \( r2 l/ M, K2 _of the assumption that college will help them 2 o6 g) Y& B* A f- q* W
become financially independent.
6 V# S9 O9 N/ i: r' jWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. * t: N4 ]& N( N4 W$ v
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 1 A% {/ S1 m' c$ r) i
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
. J9 W8 J4 c; w# f+ _7 j$ r b, w2 |- [6 u& ~8 b3 N2 a
BENEFITS:
% X q' o4 ]( J7 z) H/ YWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
( u& _$ b9 x4 p. Bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 0 U: r5 P5 l6 ^2 S4 E; G' m
no stock options are offered,% I& c- X: L5 a- z4 w
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, ) S4 c0 l. Q/ s9 d# `' t
% A! N# m! w, A; xunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses - U" f" D8 H4 p: l: _
' T+ I1 ]3 H; k% b) w. lfor life if you play your cards right.) D0 s% J4 ` R5 A4 c
7 x9 U( v/ ^8 ^( V% I
! n) a3 s0 L3 W5 e( p& S: D7 T
8 L) [) S* l7 y/ f* R% F( M
9 D) p- c9 W8 ?, V, X! E1 j1 n3 U
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
9 n# F) n0 W. ?" f$ g
8 |6 O+ N/ y5 J* }0 L5 D& M- j7 i , y( F/ ?/ t! Y8 r: ^8 z
, o$ H% p7 _: Q) U) w
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 3 W3 Q% c% K1 L0 P7 j. L
letting them know they are appreciated
3 K' O) g! N# C: Gfor the fabulous job they do...
+ N4 C; a+ b0 d# P6 H& \! i _3 {or forward with love 8 n4 v% }+ j% W% T/ Q/ n
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
% ], A+ x) s( p( o$ n- T& f# [% a* q9 J( g% R! L+ l. S
|
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
