Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& N0 _6 T* p+ G4 ~( e: \Candidates must possess excellent communication
0 y4 E7 j; C4 {9 \! ?/ hand organizational skills and be willing to work
- S3 ?. W5 a6 N: }( Gvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
: [/ X/ O6 I9 E, C- P/ v, j4 gprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
6 v1 b) f3 B  Q' L4 q- S- Jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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4 k- x& l+ z$ [2 J1 O& URESPONSIBILITIES:
+ z1 |$ P- h9 h. n$ |The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; p2 V0 L/ ?' @4 t! Huntil someone needs $5.
7 }: B- V2 _* @% A: \9 f. k7 FMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. U6 c' O9 s5 a- d4 x! b5 _and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 W+ F  `" u; q: D& kand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
; S# V  X& Q8 x2 L: j" i* \2 j$ ecoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
! E, j8 M, c/ u7 @. f0 |; d/ C2 Mhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
3 s: I& j7 n+ x$ l2 UMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
' D  S1 t  H% l1 v$ p8 Nthe quality of the end product.
- Y1 i+ V- V+ ^Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
1 ~9 [( f( n3 q; n% ~4 k. Y4 g6 Fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
" P3 @" e$ W* R/ Iwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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6 @# x6 `1 J- ?  fPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
5 o* n- j) [( C- k$ v) nNone required, unfortunately.
) W. n' m4 T, p) W0 _/ B+ L. NOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
0 ]# `* w, F7 p. Oof the assumption that college will help them
4 j. w  I( E* n% k: O+ C* X  Nbecome financially independent.
4 A1 y2 R6 i& f; g( D% E: j8 ~, r  G& UWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
6 y2 j! y1 [2 b0 B" mThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
! F! X" B/ Z2 W1 \* K% G/ m  g+ K. Bno stock options are offered,
9 N2 |+ ^2 ?+ {4 g% {) V! cthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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' H, D- r- k5 u- q5 i. Z5 l: \' vForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
) e# s( I! `1 @" R- k6 qfor the fabulous job they do...
$ n6 w$ ^% z5 t* ?) G1 c, X: for forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.