Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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. v9 N. q" Y: e: \8 AJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 i- I+ N/ E: _# q& Cand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
: T5 A1 M( ?) lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
" l* y) Q5 B9 P- oExtensive courier duties also required.
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( @  n+ U! C8 e4 [4 a8 ~7 I5 [( t2 sRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
4 w2 `6 r& a8 H" euntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
4 D" c  _5 [! P! x. {1 t# Iand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 }6 {: k* A" _in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
$ \* Z6 b% y6 h" B1 MMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ i2 e/ c3 ?  N* d) L9 g6 E5 isuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
: N; m6 s# ^  f; g$ C, V/ S% w1 W/ jMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
- [- B8 h3 a5 r0 yan embarrassment the next.
7 u9 Y) s/ R' a' s* d2 ~9 KMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 ?1 a* p0 Y9 v0 z; B; lMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
8 n' U3 K8 u: hResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
! m" A6 }* H5 n. ~0 ~% bjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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  r; }4 S$ v& p# ]POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
* ^1 j3 i2 N: @/ x% SYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
+ N3 E/ {7 o9 f* A' E+ Q4 @: Cwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
! K- e; {( a" uupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
/ p" j! a5 r3 H3 p1 p+ xcan ultimately surpass you.
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* T, A, S8 o7 X2 w, l) [7 _3 M  d  \PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% A! z" I# i) Z' J& Q4 zNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
" |6 d1 C7 f+ }Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
) |# y9 V1 F6 f* v" `a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
/ H- G9 l3 S, w: o% _' b7 Rbecome financially independent.
& @$ C8 U: h" EWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
5 T" t( ^: Y; D$ X+ T' yThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
: T$ r8 m, C: Y+ _you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
7 X' F8 G( |$ J/ Q0 r4 r" iWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
; F8 D, g1 d& K0 B& n3 F, j2 wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
0 @2 [& T! d. r- A7 Y  P! Nno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

) u$ M( A) X; i& w/ Lfor life if you play your cards right.
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* h) s( a. k% ^3 m- i8 d! E$ _** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
' _; j- ]# u% e, @* U, Eletting them know they are appreciated
+ T5 {6 d8 @# Q% H7 u9 k% S  @for the fabulous job they do...
' N0 n0 A4 C, P. M8 y: C7 Ror forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.