Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
# X8 B9 X/ t) `, V; o7 m4 ~Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
4 Y8 G( `$ [0 T8 |  f1 c

# o% V  `1 |7 fJOB DESCRIPTION:
! C% I) H- K* c& ?0 NLong term, team players needed for challenging,
3 P- D7 n4 w2 n
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* I4 g: C7 _4 L; TCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
0 N; ]6 ^% t% q1 K& S- Svariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) Y' ^2 a4 `% z1 k* Tand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* V: g- J* q6 PSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
0 k# M' p- a3 F! c& t# ?Travel expenses not reimbursed.
# X0 W+ m. Q. s/ h- TExtensive courier duties also required.
8 x+ X) |" v2 u1 J# S. r! ~
; ]8 c. @6 z# U  |RESPONSIBILITIES:
$ o, Z2 ?/ v% w  F& zThe rest of your life.
/ m2 F9 h$ J# x% J: L- Q, uMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- ]2 v: z5 L4 Z, E; n/ {7 Huntil someone needs $5.
/ ^! f" X; n9 k& lMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 b" |6 V8 t1 Q6 s) ?' n9 iAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' ]% n' Z3 o& F, \/ O, lin case, this time, the screams from
# K/ e% F6 ?: G, n/ a; i* Gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
( Y8 R" t( Y) W; Xsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 H: n9 x$ Q, Y) s; `6 TMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
# W" Q4 G, T5 q  X( B7 d& H' kMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
+ v: [0 C: k7 Q) ?4 JResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 }2 Y& b$ F; ljanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
8 t) B# ^, s: k$ m" jNone.
+ b, M) S: }6 U& x0 ?Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
1 g3 L/ j6 J3 Hwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
! p6 I# V) h7 w2 iupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ N. J  L+ N' ]- Q6 Ncan ultimately surpass you.

' Y  e1 _. }% v9 |1 G
! L* i; J+ Q7 s. i: HPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
  H4 ]5 V1 o0 v$ J0 SNone required, unfortunately.
0 a; I6 `1 J5 j" DOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

8 u5 O! X4 A! s) \6 ]! s' IWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
% \2 z- I4 e+ y7 Q% ~1 W0 Aof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
' v7 I% Q2 K9 g: l3 x. T5 UThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

: J3 Q( `+ O$ S; G; q  ]BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

. h3 [0 |6 l: g2 Aunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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$ y5 f+ B: E. U# _$ W# G** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


( W0 }+ y% ^9 h: O' l. w
6 v+ [6 |$ H2 D* b: S$ RForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.