Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
0 D2 S; C1 E' wDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
" |* e& O2 [) ^* F9 ^6 S; ?Long term, team players needed for challenging,
0 g$ i4 h" @' U' E) k$ B  ?
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
" k$ l/ V" m; k. R# y0 xand organizational skills and be willing to work
, Q4 ~. C8 m: d2 I  k7 }variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
1 t4 r9 N. K. Q$ k0 l4 E, gSome overnight travel required, including trips to
5 X+ ~* }  @0 a2 {. A3 eprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 M( u( t& J3 J% x6 UTravel expenses not reimbursed.
! P% \3 T. A3 dExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
+ ]5 R% c, G3 m! mThe rest of your life.
( n) t- \! Y0 o& y- JMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 Z* Q& N0 h+ e' |( t( kcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
1 d4 N0 Q6 i1 A$ c8 ?% OMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
7 B; r. V* m% X% W( _  yhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" r+ A7 f+ p/ N3 M3 _4 u: hMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
5 B: L7 p& O& {+ l2 B* ZMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

- `3 x4 w/ h6 Q. s7 uPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 c) e! H  z2 p6 N% qNone.
- c- y' S  F3 f+ q. BYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
0 W3 b6 C, L& B1 i6 rupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


8 ^4 y* W& a0 P- y- _8 A0 s/ u# j$ dPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
0 q- O6 U+ a% e1 fOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

7 _4 H& A9 P% @/ K# g& {0 hWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
9 l  [( [" Z' r( K* C2 q+ sOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
7 P6 O- T4 {$ P* H7 E# [a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. O7 S/ M; z, B0 u. mof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. I4 S- s6 p5 Gyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

$ }$ d) y6 S6 t. a3 T7 u* Z9 x6 ~; ]BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
  z, K* v7 O' }0 t8 eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
, d$ ~$ L) K: G% O5 @0 s: Q, mno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
* m4 N$ ]  I8 r) F$ J
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

5 V0 a' T8 d7 J7 B2 Z. @for life if you play your cards right.

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. C- |1 s# k8 q( K** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
/ F3 f1 l/ S. B( X8 k  ~

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.