Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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/ |: c+ K& }' WJOB DESCRIPTION:
# Y% I. Y2 ~+ bLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 I" R& x. t+ S2 iCandidates must possess excellent communication
$ O8 v- G2 S( _7 @; _- rand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
/ N$ q0 Z$ L$ l2 a: d2 x: }4 j1 XSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 G# Y2 X% l) O1 R' t- O% O+ fendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
/ p$ ^5 I& f, y& ~  QTravel expenses not reimbursed.
( `8 J  e* A# _Extensive courier duties also required.
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% a) v: a2 W2 K3 M6 RRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* y. T0 U* t9 q1 m0 luntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
$ g: Y( F0 S& ?+ M, q: U8 cin case, this time, the screams from
$ g' |0 C2 R  }" \9 A' g2 \- J6 Mthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
& h8 e- d8 E4 ]and stuck zippers.
0 x1 o. M9 O. y- K! w$ VMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
; P- E6 D. P" `8 i! q9 T5 x" zMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
) m1 k6 }# I) Phalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 c' z/ r; Y9 Q9 ^2 ]: y4 jMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! M: Y% c# W2 n( e; @$ F7 j. IMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' k, g' X1 ?$ Q  [  Sjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 N. ~- \" b% xNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
) E- b" ?+ S" Gcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ }- R9 r; ~/ X# U- e5 ENone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

% J/ |7 Y, E7 e2 q4 F6 uWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
- U9 p/ V! {" f. U2 wGet this! You pay them!
) {; u* G, y" A; Z8 JOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
, n7 }7 d$ ]& P* T7 s1 i% p( {) Jbecome financially independent.
3 y2 n! L# U! d( J* Y) pWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
. ?; J5 Y2 O$ Q! r* T2 R* Y2 W- UThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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- ?, t, N8 w/ s& I5 _4 @BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
1 g7 U$ V/ v( V$ @" W! W; U' \1 z2 Rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
4 }- O2 |  |  M  t7 M8 s/ sthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

; C% Y1 c$ q* n# w# V0 Z' c0 Dunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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7 N2 [" @: L; }2 o; G9 J** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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8 k* O' G. G4 i/ v" H. I! I. nForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
% V0 F) Y0 P3 a% x* l7 `for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.