Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
: i* P6 q9 d$ Q  A, L; x2 {5 z1 j' BMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
8 x& O9 X, q5 i  [9 qDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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/ {3 ?- Z6 o( }, z4 KJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
1 r" D3 ?  m& n, B3 i2 V+ ]; E
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
% b: }, h# J9 q9 }- jand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
  Y) @3 q- z4 }4 ]. Aand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
6 P/ w& ]' I8 }3 dSome overnight travel required, including trips to
: y* i5 s, I- R* T" tprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
( |4 r. i6 l2 I5 h* i* K" ~# ]0 D/ Xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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4 ]' T( ]% F1 ?! u* Z$ xRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' `# D$ Y  B- g  buntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 r6 @2 o, ~! D7 _% ?2 x. ?and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
8 Q: o0 W# K. T: T0 q! @7 m+ a! ^the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
4 S; P4 ~4 s- K" X8 gMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
7 s0 v! n+ g$ s8 V. DMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
  E  J! j/ V. t& v- Y. d( bcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 R  |+ |* M8 T% xMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
( `" D. y: m( H6 t* m  z4 J( D9 v" dMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 q  l; q: u6 h5 Q4 Bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
; H2 C( b0 c3 i2 _5 zMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
" i& D. y; ]$ X: R/ n. ?4 @Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" M& v6 w3 b5 e) y; {janitorial work  throughout the facility.

  q; i* X4 b) h0 ~5 l& l* IPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
" P: E# _/ G' HNone.
, C) |, r1 K, C. F1 JYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
8 i& O8 ^7 I0 Z6 i* R4 W- L6 ]- lwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
7 @; z+ ?, R: o# jupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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: M' w3 c! A$ S; C, L2 x. Q! @( |+ UPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
7 e. \) V7 r# i4 M( t( A- PNone required, unfortunately.
3 t  o9 g$ R$ d# v7 POn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
) P& G# L/ D# V; n! LOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 x! T6 k, f5 s$ a6 c8 ia balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
1 R% W5 C7 u8 z. [6 R; Qbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! w+ _, B& U6 @5 q' t1 Byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
9 z$ b# g2 @+ UWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
3 g- q7 a% Z5 ~* E! Dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
  U$ ^* [& ~5 R8 \/ Zno stock options are offered,
4 Z+ u: c/ ]- K& s0 }, y. sthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

3 {# p& [. m& l9 Munconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

; s. ~" H2 m& ufor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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0 q% p$ Z* S1 A; G$ l9 hForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
. I6 w0 _+ ]( \4 [2 mletting them know they are appreciated
/ d! y# e+ c2 _3 V. ufor the fabulous job they do...
; u4 h- l8 _6 d1 Por forward with love
. U9 ^) `' x! ]' w. t3 kto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.