Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
1 m# z* @$ X" w' P8 f  N5 [Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
. j1 `5 t: Q0 N( d2 A& r' wDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
$ O6 n$ p4 t( bLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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) [  u- G8 B8 d  R# j/ tpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
  S8 d/ T( ~6 L' }- p" `and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
! S: Y4 I  i* C# R/ v2 `; @' xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
9 b! v$ V* T) K. _endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ c) `' R$ v1 u' tTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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+ b/ h: x: B$ D& c: c0 g& URESPONSIBILITIES:
$ J8 s9 u$ u. W6 w9 l7 ]6 l1 O1 ~The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
  b# I0 Y" F; S. S" tMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* ~2 J: m6 Z# i5 MAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
) G5 a) _6 z' S) ]9 T& Rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
3 f- Z$ ^) I7 m8 RMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* r! m' _8 u: Z, Q# A) j8 icoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 c, d4 Y% {- |: y) y! x. u8 u$ T, UMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
2 P  |% Y) z8 L% w9 [5 jan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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% Q: }8 V! s/ `7 @4 JPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
, y# p) F8 o4 i, LYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
: ^1 }& K" H9 ~) }2 ^' O! Q2 |8 ]can ultimately surpass you.
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' `2 M  P  w9 U6 |PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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) Y! w" i! b- kWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
; t; `. S, O6 M5 y$ qbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" F( @5 A9 g9 u) c. C9 ~no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
! u  \3 a2 O  |. W1 xthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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" m# }+ F5 M8 c  eForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
$ A, z$ p  |0 t" q. `: H0 afor the fabulous job they do...
, ?! w2 ]& i4 j: o  \or forward with love
9 T, V; _$ j' q6 eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.