Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
7 ?! j5 D/ q& S5 z5 yDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
0 T6 m2 @& j. v8 YLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! ]0 {0 ?; [0 h! M: u* a* h0 SCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
( [3 H0 t* T9 T& rvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 _  Y4 O2 ?% a) T4 g1 Uand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
  K  Y) d3 z8 @4 h; Zprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

4 T: Y3 g$ h1 w5 kRESPONSIBILITIES:
- i% {$ y: Y1 d- _The rest of your life.
, @/ A# p- w$ ^# B# eMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- h) x+ ?0 l$ D/ guntil someone needs $5.
1 L. @, N9 [  F* PMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( l/ e# E1 ?" _; L0 R$ E9 T. C' J' Cand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 D  \( |7 n, d; T+ ^in case, this time, the screams from
3 p# N* k  O+ Z4 |3 g% P7 W+ dthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
5 @, R/ f. z* \; Rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
0 T. u& a8 n+ [- O' C) Q3 iMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  k) v; }, T# L7 W% ban embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" G5 X& |3 X  iMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
  G% d0 F4 {# s" X: x" S+ }Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
$ d1 ]) A0 Q- `  ?; i& C1 K* T0 ajanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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% F) O8 X% F- @( n! ^, ePOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
" y# C* z. t/ u% s# Zwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
9 v4 L( o: X: cupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
' W3 s+ `; E! w/ [# O6 b9 |! N5 Vcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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+ z. E  V" M: A5 b+ e! ?- uWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
' D% `* |5 M$ P2 R  W% dOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
& k, Q- r0 W* Z- h1 J! ~1 Bbecome financially independent.
0 z/ e9 T3 w! X% M# Z# ZWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
  A3 o  f+ w0 r( dyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
, I: T7 {$ S0 Ono stock options are offered,
9 ^5 H: F4 W+ K+ kthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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* x. t9 M; j3 H& O1 S, w3 Xunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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7 k8 P0 a- g2 _+ I
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
" i5 k# O$ }" U. Qfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.