 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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! I' K/ h; I3 x" l- B; q& \Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
7 f% q, |5 Z& PDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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$ ^& ?3 v6 |! Z/ ~& l7 ^JOB DESCRIPTION:3 ]1 h9 w$ M) o, ?
Long term, team players needed for challenging,4 r$ T# m% q( x; w ?3 [8 y6 I
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# \& g; ^, t+ `% s4 yCandidates must possess excellent communication
. Q4 R' J/ V& mand organizational skills and be willing to work
- z9 j3 U1 P3 g# i1 P- ~7 Avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
u( j8 t( x T' p/ Q. _and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. l1 D, p$ W+ d! x' k% J
Some overnight travel required, including trips to ' t/ ~9 F, y7 S8 H6 f9 y
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 8 x. _" c3 h! x& `6 _/ Z
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ [2 V! d* U- T) h/ c3 ETravel expenses not reimbursed.
4 O+ n1 B9 e; {+ Y9 xExtensive courier duties also required. . n1 u2 u: ?4 G x
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RESPONSIBILITIES:" `" S' x$ v& s" d5 F) ^
The rest of your life.
! U4 v9 [' Z; V" xMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 N. M# c+ g1 J" V9 M, t3 L; ?until someone needs $5. 9 S, H4 f$ H4 X# a" G& ?) I
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
: T0 e8 H' k6 `7 ^# ZAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 6 O" C: t$ h9 }' P$ V
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
/ T9 I. T% ^& L$ T1 p, Hin case, this time, the screams from + Z1 L L! M/ W; w
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 1 Z1 f2 X5 u$ L) a; V
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, & e( M6 X# i$ @
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets ' H9 Z5 W5 F8 v1 K" W2 v
and stuck zippers.
2 c% p' d; l' z! D0 Q* w& P( I- YMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& V m) g" V: W- H7 A! hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 l( Z% d& v! ] S. A h5 {& pMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 V: l T$ B0 ]Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, " t- C- q* y& Y5 J/ w; w" A
an embarrassment the next. # x. D6 a1 O& s" d. p
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
# W1 V- F. b: w* j, R- @half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. % j6 N# R: w( R' y+ q, P% X
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
3 n l: `6 Q/ {! c& hMust assume final, complete accountability for
3 S$ f" [4 `3 U ithe quality of the end product. 9 J* k% ]8 o c2 z
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 5 q/ `. D2 l& \0 s! v: x: v" |
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:% b& j9 R. u! g" e9 Y5 A/ H. J
None. , U4 C6 |6 `. k( Q. x: P, l7 _ X
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, 3 _) X0 ~/ z! i' D H, L1 f. E
without complaining,constantly retraining and
' T3 R# \( L* ?' gupdating your skills, so that those in your charge 8 w6 {. n3 i# o# Y+ q' |5 n1 T
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 0 {& e) R' B \% [
None required, unfortunately. % J0 N# E2 D1 F( ?( w7 k4 h
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. / ^' \) @, \9 k. H3 j% s
. S' u& [9 W3 B6 D TWAGES AND COMPENSATION: " V- C# H t4 S2 d* Z
Get this! You pay them!
# T1 p& ]% Q. t6 SOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
% z5 X+ d8 A( {- o `1 w$ }& ha balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! ~9 }* ^8 ~# aof the assumption that college will help them 2 ~- w u0 O6 O$ C/ v. q
become financially independent.
( E6 T& q# ]/ PWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
) U8 F$ w. v3 @- vThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, A9 i8 f4 f0 D! ]" Cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS: ( M+ F S" w8 n' z' w2 |+ P8 V8 t) }
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
& j* b3 O) m8 @" w5 [no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 2 ~6 @6 p9 c- o* W
no stock options are offered,% u9 D6 Y, j: {; M
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, : X* s+ n5 W8 Q! j% a$ e
0 o, A, k2 }+ x. p1 m5 @8 T" xunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right. S# F% W( S( _% B
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, Y+ M; d) f1 C/ T S
letting them know they are appreciated 9 a7 I* l- a( b& M
for the fabulous job they do...
* F+ `3 z& c. x( o. q( b F/ lor forward with love
3 O1 _. ]1 N" a) eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.9 k1 G; c% Y z
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
