Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
: O0 i9 y, k7 @7 H( H; iMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 `% I, y/ L9 ?5 }* d% aDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
% y8 I7 P  h8 H& N2 _4 I. H5 ILong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
. W7 \9 N# u2 ~' k; c6 {Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% u; o  O. b  U/ ~and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
2 O5 G7 k  o/ W$ \& p) C4 JSome overnight travel required, including trips to
( t% P; l: E; Y' V" I6 Pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
7 d( D2 c& N& h+ l) \Extensive courier duties also required.
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; S8 O- z! A' k$ Y4 x: i# b9 CRESPONSIBILITIES:
) R$ i5 ?  I0 sThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
) m! C0 M3 _; [5 s+ H+ U! bin case, this time, the screams from
8 f8 ~0 L0 k3 [, bthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
& }; t2 u% r7 q" U" t' cMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
. N) ]. \: m* AMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 @. {/ m. h. z7 f& B. C2 T5 x% jcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
) E4 @2 |# @% ^Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 D8 d/ ]) g, R# ^( R8 q, uhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
  }/ K+ Y5 \; d/ @Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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% u+ q- G! G% l, c- @1 a4 APOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
) g# x0 }3 H% G( H3 Q: E+ JNone.
* \" _: d. G8 Q1 }* PYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
' @5 P! O2 g) }& T2 t" Swithout complaining,constantly retraining and
; `1 ^3 C+ M) ]( F+ Nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 K1 |0 U. E  d) z% f5 i$ CNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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- {! E. q* r5 \$ xWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
' G- I, \7 Z  ~7 l$ @; v. {Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
# h  g* |0 F* @5 t! P; Gof the assumption that college will help them
4 P# ~% N  ^& Lbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 T' x3 e! j* w4 c2 o. S( ~The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ v  R  d/ |$ N5 ^1 t1 G+ @5 s! ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

( @- C9 }8 ~; G& K9 e0 {# A3 PBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* p7 B* j! d0 B! {: e; `no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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) C( a2 e! l4 U( W  AForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
- }2 ]& A7 c; \4 Dletting them know they are appreciated
  U( J7 Z6 w4 |/ E8 X; bfor the fabulous job they do...
# I  X1 ]# R' Hor forward with love
7 G  l: L8 ~: V7 L( Xto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.