Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
- A, F5 L( C5 {8 j# R+ dDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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8 ?) X9 l, Z# o3 I' Qpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
2 Z: M' h- h8 L# ~and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 h) l# P* O  z/ j* S4 N& USome overnight travel required, including trips to
8 z/ y) O, f6 q, Kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: A( C3 Z' B' t( Y8 C8 `* xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
& v6 R$ f; c& L. a- q8 bExtensive courier duties also required.

. K$ R# ~3 }* ~4 dRESPONSIBILITIES:
6 L* H3 m% w3 t' F! {. g! DThe rest of your life.
7 B3 D) k! K$ @3 c- Y+ _0 nMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
  [& q7 A) @& V0 z* Z* xuntil someone needs $5.
- q: x" t2 W( Q9 @) U4 NMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
- Q6 Z$ L& }- e* S- P+ zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 @. f" X4 w/ Qin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ _6 J7 k/ I/ m8 }2 a" r; d4 u0 tsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
$ R' E3 c5 G7 P5 f. WMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
: u3 @4 D4 o$ A9 Y3 v9 sMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 U# n; [" O8 |) c/ van embarrassment the next.
0 X) N# f( ?& H4 KMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
  |0 A! g* Y2 F6 a) k5 d* d! T2 Yhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
: j# H; F7 M; T3 ]! w. @Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* ^: a; z; Y" ?5 H  ~8 t% @Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
  n1 h: G: ^8 o, y! |5 A( Q: U/ i, Ljanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
2 _7 y9 e% }" {9 j* c4 P9 Jupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


1 }8 ]8 I# i3 p7 [, k# tPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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) C4 |4 Z7 \! O% I( XWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; d1 E0 I" u( W$ ^( S9 mof the assumption that college will help them
* x" P( v6 e; U( W  P- [9 z* |become financially independent.
) V& }- f# s* h. o+ Q/ zWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
2 J. q4 o/ V4 c9 F! \- SThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 ^1 U; v9 _7 D3 V0 ~7 |) Yyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

! ]% B) h2 Z5 ZBENEFITS:
2 {8 R) }/ Y) c9 o8 aWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ @' _$ G, `( r$ w) Kno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# T: R$ t+ M" Q- `' G% vno stock options are offered,
  \) G! F+ v+ b/ I( |9 a6 fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

9 x, }; l: K7 a

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
5 T3 z: e$ M3 e' oto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.