Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
( S0 c- [! ]0 n+ s' L) hMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
- Y% |' d5 d- ~: E8 X# }& gDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
% U( u2 b" ^! lLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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) F1 v2 l8 S/ Q- Gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
. h; N# y) L, b" S! e5 c9 _, y& uCandidates must possess excellent communication
/ v9 T1 a4 v$ j* Band organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
. U1 w% a  g# t, X: hand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
9 G( f& W8 L+ x& c  ]6 Yprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' a% d1 R) f( r* P$ P8 aendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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, V* n- B( ?. QRESPONSIBILITIES:
* w( j: u  c4 \7 IThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* T* h/ b% m: ?0 M0 e0 N9 uAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
2 ^5 A3 Z! r9 C3 mand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
" T* k4 p& W; l( l3 l- othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
0 b1 K9 l: }' f  m  S- Asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* C2 ^: R. @6 h' U7 a+ {' P6 hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
: ]0 m) _! e+ r! u  C4 r+ B) fMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
0 v' F7 K! J& n# @$ Tan embarrassment the next.
, `8 }5 e6 I# u0 m" m0 KMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
( D. ?% ~) O! N1 AMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ \7 I0 ?- v5 {, xjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

) d! g5 e9 @$ [5 u; z9 Y7 [POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
6 M: N+ U0 F$ [4 V7 t+ m% Wcan ultimately surpass you.


/ E' }6 S& y% c6 z6 VPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 f+ R1 Z1 k- E# A2 LNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
- d+ \$ l$ i6 [Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
1 b% T8 E" h9 L$ _& v+ j/ {+ sa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
( {% D- _& b' d$ IWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
( `" i; Y) `9 f6 B( \0 n' G. F6 WThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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7 f- ?. m! ]+ F. z& }BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) c- N0 _8 k! J1 B. Ano tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
' b( u, k! t, E: y2 ]; y6 ~6 d  N) _* ^no stock options are offered,
7 U* R! r4 Z& _8 Q/ Tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

6 d" [1 H5 T+ f$ H' I0 x" _" \for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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( _: `9 G$ l! }2 b1 j- S6 D6 dForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
' b, t. S/ g8 J) y+ qletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
9 T& v" k- X! g% Lor forward with love
& u3 X; ~6 ~0 x  qto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.