Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
: }& |, l( y1 M1 [2 `+ k- d" eMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 `% O! h3 P* QDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


0 f9 S1 ~* i, b; RJOB DESCRIPTION:
% \7 d! n: M% U7 @& |  \0 BLong term, team players needed for challenging,
1 k' H2 n) `, C1 m- ?$ J0 M9 o
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
/ }) Q; ~0 Y7 r+ Q: h% Yvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 w: Y: B' s+ R/ CSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; j% m4 @, d+ u! i, iTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
) z+ `9 O- g" X( R4 Z/ t7 ?
RESPONSIBILITIES:
/ d* W0 U2 a0 }9 M' u! D" A7 PThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' p7 S3 F; l0 g* P3 ]* w, auntil someone needs $5.
9 `9 n' r, w" m! w3 h7 SMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
# [+ A, b8 L  o  l0 |' IAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
+ _% x, c5 C9 H7 k. cand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* _2 T7 J2 J8 nMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
* B& Z: D  W8 S$ |2 xan embarrassment the next.
: _3 u: i$ @: @, R) a* c, k9 J, DMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
8 f: X$ ~- t( hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ G% n! }$ f) U$ S; TMust assume final, complete accountability for
  s5 c) v1 u, k( Y% A; K: K; v7 Nthe quality of the end product.
# L5 {3 s* B, J+ ^7 \  Z+ x' oResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
7 d2 ?( J* g1 n4 U* v" M5 Q2 ~
7 ]% d( D: _) _7 I- Y+ [POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
" x6 |( E  F* q& ANone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

& T- O9 V1 A- x
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
+ Y+ I% {! g  C# t& U5 y3 m: }On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
; i* j4 U( h2 O" @  ?Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. l% G, ]6 m  u$ d3 }+ K' o! Sof the assumption that college will help them
0 F1 a& P! f; gbecome financially independent.
" e* r* [6 L) g" uWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
# `  V6 O) M' n6 q+ [: B/ x" dThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

" Y, F4 }/ p, T3 v" s* ?BENEFITS:
; ^! h  f. w' h6 jWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 o, r% M" |8 K& ]  ^6 zno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
) I$ @% s0 U" u  r( D; P
5 h) X) I% B4 c9 funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
2 b& V, U& q1 v. h: C% u
1 C. ?& v, X0 _1 n2 kfor life if you play your cards right.
& C0 z# Z7 i0 v' G: X0 y" e
+ k0 W! q' Z  `! ~' c
! U! F8 Q7 J$ X  B

0 v- M( _/ u2 p2 j  \** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
0 V& L  N, ~0 r# {5 H  E) G
) Z! T- b( P$ K: m/ ?) k
0 S2 z! w! x, k
  T$ I; D5 h4 t$ _% TForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
( [6 m  t6 L  D. mletting them know they are appreciated
; t' u6 i& I( H: F8 Ifor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
! ^/ r# z: ~8 ?# m! l* Fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
/ o# n7 Q2 y: Q# N
! K. s: O( T& P

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.