Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
' W& _( g$ y: p. O- I: n$ b% jMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
! Q5 T" B0 z' U, l6 `Long term, team players needed for challenging,

- N1 Y9 W5 }: Jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
0 L  W( u) O1 v8 s% KCandidates must possess excellent communication
# V" G5 \0 E# l& E0 H( ^. w6 Pand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
3 V/ R( r* G7 P& L4 B5 tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
0 w2 D7 [* c% Y- N0 Y5 N* w" BTravel expenses not reimbursed.
5 y+ i7 k0 M4 C6 k0 H0 L+ |Extensive courier duties also required.
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) e! ?' [0 G9 {8 |RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
& c9 C% q$ `6 `' k- ]. ]6 L' C' vMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& i& E* k8 F9 ?7 f: g% ^3 y; mAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" \$ h4 d- H  i/ r& `+ Pand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
. G# `1 ]. x, r5 I2 qthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ L: o9 V5 i8 @7 |& ?. c3 m: Ysuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% `. ~8 T# W/ }% D8 p3 nMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
* M9 `6 A3 K# w6 ?- V# p% L% ~half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 G8 o; O& K4 s) g% rMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
2 c  z5 Q: W$ k" \Must assume final, complete accountability for
1 _4 Z9 S+ x% ?- A" F$ P& H6 dthe quality of the end product.
3 s& ]8 R$ e' V) @3 DResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( x6 ~+ K$ `5 nNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
& [9 Z& ]- @* j: U1 ~  U( O; Awithout complaining,constantly retraining and
. ]+ P3 T$ Z1 @% rupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
- Q" F( n2 M3 @% k! I# B" U2 ]2 f8 Gcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
) |- D& l4 h: w' P% `
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
- H: c6 \1 U7 ?" m: jOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
+ k3 t* i% }9 q9 V# Ia balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! o3 J6 z) `3 I2 I3 @( C9 wyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
+ R: u6 N7 M3 p; I9 C3 F
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
. p5 w9 y8 S6 i7 R  n: e' ^. othis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
1 Q& d/ _. F: i. @3 b  M* ]
% \9 K, }6 G6 H, M3 aunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
1 n4 P" [: e# Y+ {
, P, L$ `3 X9 y* S  Y& M


/ R  p% }1 H' o& R2 c& ~" V** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
0 X( @/ ]2 C) H0 z- b+ X


4 @6 E( [: r, ?% R1 DForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
; K/ b3 a! J9 v- B; v7 ~0 W6 jletting them know they are appreciated
! y) g. f6 H7 Z0 H+ H. p3 Tfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

  N9 O) k5 V' Y% |! B4 _* F

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.