Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' i2 j7 T6 Z" A; Y6 W2 C" hDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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# M6 b* Z: h6 M% FJOB DESCRIPTION:
; u& D3 N; n$ GLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
0 B" R# D6 P, [' uCandidates must possess excellent communication
. f4 q' z. x6 h  i2 Aand organizational skills and be willing to work
4 k6 F! ]1 D3 n. o  p4 Ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: O+ b$ G6 Q4 Y, ESome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: [  L+ f8 H, B1 K! Rendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
# {; A6 U( D! h! ~1 A! L  }) ]Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
, [% Z0 t8 w$ e# M9 XThe rest of your life.
& |3 ]& a. U) u3 e* EMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ a& _1 l9 g4 S# @. Puntil someone needs $5.
3 n* D* v/ X+ W9 k& K1 o. yMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 g3 V- t# V: \1 n+ |3 dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
) |" s6 I6 ]$ {& o2 p& N! n( dthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
- p+ H* {' \5 C# |; A8 L! R& U+ ?) TMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
. t" u" D4 t! ~  L: ^& pand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( M' v5 j4 s9 ?  n2 x- Ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ T3 Z; e6 j2 g' N/ i8 han embarrassment the next.
7 h% }" v$ E: c6 G. NMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
* f2 C- W* C9 s& p$ chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! L- b7 M9 s8 \) f) z( M& rMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
6 _: n( D0 X) V  o8 cMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
+ ?/ G. c2 k( fResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
- g( ^" c. J, w; |janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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" f- b: x7 `9 Q5 i) _# \# \POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
/ U0 ?7 v# L( p: Y/ `without complaining,constantly retraining and
+ x% R9 ?+ y- x+ [) oupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
! b6 [: i: r6 }! d% {; Scan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
$ b( g" B! a5 {* X) ]3 Y! XNone required, unfortunately.
. F2 g& H' B3 y' [, ~3 aOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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( h  `9 u/ {% ]; `WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
' t, ]0 l& U( ^% J5 H' j! i& |a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
: V4 C& v; ]% b) aof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
/ _  g, m  P/ g; p4 t" iThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
$ y1 ]- q; l2 Lno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ N1 c6 K/ u" G/ @no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

$ ?$ \9 Z. i0 q+ z; vunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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# W0 e( V$ X0 T/ ?$ G% {** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
3 I: c5 r  p9 Eletting them know they are appreciated
$ |( j4 r0 D/ O% R" h, m  kfor the fabulous job they do...
5 ^1 g6 g3 t# j3 b$ Lor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.