Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ s' N6 `8 c9 U/ p8 KDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


1 F- m9 c& U$ K- n% z5 D' |% n; xJOB DESCRIPTION:
' b$ q; M0 h0 V, t$ `Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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0 ^, u$ F: M2 r3 v$ ^: opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" P9 z% M( l3 T5 |( F" ACandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 E4 `1 V/ W( Q: B5 v8 C+ Pand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 d  a! |* u4 ?1 x4 x  ySome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
! E7 ^$ K  o& |6 Q$ z0 uendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* X2 O7 z8 W  x( |Travel expenses not reimbursed.
* @' W) v2 B! E# TExtensive courier duties also required.
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2 i2 A6 M* H0 bRESPONSIBILITIES:
) i1 Y. _( b6 G5 K5 a7 wThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- A* [# U3 Z+ Y! W& B3 `until someone needs $5.
' R# T! B* q/ d( k& N, g4 c$ f' p% YMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
- r" |# B: j+ jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 C" a( ]* Y, @such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) V3 u" P4 f5 y8 M& `7 Jand stuck zippers.
6 v4 X$ E% v, r6 AMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
+ {/ W$ P. k  ?coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  z0 W: b' ~5 H. L! eMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# y, q( o* J" {; ~: f' {1 Wan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
2 _2 q0 \* R- `1 G8 yMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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- W3 z5 x4 v: Y+ ^3 H$ `. MPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
+ m+ b' u, ?) \( Q  f. pupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


* z) {2 G9 {% i  Y* oPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
4 {: t) f3 N+ n6 T- q1 bNone required, unfortunately.
  A: ~# r$ y1 a- |1 ]( [/ I- mOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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8 {2 n2 p9 z# f, wWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" t; {2 `/ N4 T% |* |0 RGet this! You pay them!
0 R$ I1 l3 R. A8 B; J. tOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
- f( j- X, x" l3 X7 w' Wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ ~' Z( u! n# [! R& pof the assumption that college will help them
/ E3 A' ~6 Z6 j& k* Kbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
( N* }  z3 s) @/ z6 IThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 \; \! {+ d) @% tyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

  c1 a! w5 z4 ~# U. R; l, IBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 M; m4 ?; \! d8 i1 r' N5 Dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) T% d, P+ y5 K  o! U/ ], ono stock options are offered,
' o* T. Q# R: v9 Tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

3 i& m: Q* w& Y% nunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
: |0 y2 y) h& a2 ^+ p
1 I1 R$ g. w+ |. F* a- W: i# jfor life if you play your cards right.
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$ I3 g/ O; Z9 y" R6 E8 U' }" c6 O& `** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


& V+ i5 Y4 ~; Y
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
- l3 Q. D! p6 l8 E: oletting them know they are appreciated
- m1 P- _, s3 Zfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.