Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ k* ?* Q. w4 [" o$ g+ nDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
3 s' a0 g9 P- ]6 r. FLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 F' m: A+ d& k; [. |1 Rand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 g% y( i" y! y9 w* XSome overnight travel required, including trips to
3 I; Q, {# j: x" w$ C9 J! Fprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  W/ t; [$ e( A4 B2 D. QTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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* p, b" \3 w- X. Z6 Z* M" P4 HRESPONSIBILITIES:
: N8 o6 h2 ~& J3 S$ K" s$ V9 l* r. ^The rest of your life.
8 O! {# N9 d2 h+ T; H0 lMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
! o/ ]$ ]; Y3 a. F! S9 auntil someone needs $5.
7 X0 T) a1 L+ c& J/ M2 ]: `Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ Y1 t9 S9 E  D6 nAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
9 ?' M& N5 a- o3 T  K( Z/ fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
& |3 X3 S, K- C! k4 a: c, zand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
/ k; x5 n8 }( O8 rMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
) W* ~. r- B8 s& C8 uMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
( S: j1 J4 Z' g8 G* i# U! q- Fan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. ~. I5 }' S+ |8 Q& |Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
# V5 e2 o  g: M  I; T7 @Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ B  z' O5 _' ycan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 {8 k4 b. v: Y: uNone required, unfortunately.
) X/ c/ i4 }( y0 F# i8 |6 r0 `On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
6 k: s6 Y" ?/ t! I! Q: h$ Z8 LGet this! You pay them!
" |$ c) b. u  C4 sOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- e2 j  o% m) N/ _% o5 `of the assumption that college will help them
  L# F- s/ x3 g- y* Q, n) S9 x* M; zbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
6 u- i3 P7 Q+ [4 F. ^While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
$ o( N; q: n6 Jno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
: e- S# @$ D" `# J# ^" Fno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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! ^9 E( \2 P) e- Yunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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/ Y% V. M$ w) v1 Z; ~for life if you play your cards right.


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: w, B) ~! m  v9 e$ [** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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% N$ N5 b. @6 E$ c  D7 iForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
  J# D1 q3 S1 q/ n$ Pletting them know they are appreciated
8 k4 W( [7 P% `: b, A  Bfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.