Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


! V: P* V( N1 m# t9 [JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# @- d' |; r- k$ v5 vCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
9 h6 t9 I5 D* V) rand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" s, f( ?" G) k2 m9 ~/ M2 {( \Some overnight travel required, including trips to
8 |% \8 J( w1 D- ~1 r( |7 dprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; f) s% _; M9 [) e+ _! ATravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
% O7 @8 [  Q3 e9 _  XAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. R4 i! ~0 \- q- ^. B" ~Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" T0 _9 f3 R( `7 C( N* Wsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# R+ ]1 O; k9 v% e9 cand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
0 B5 m6 A( x/ i- o; S, ~8 CMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
; d' Z* `6 k+ l# `5 y3 Aan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
1 `( [: S! o% q. i' Uhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
6 `3 r9 A( t7 R# pthe quality of the end product.
9 i( M' H7 x% @+ H5 \1 r2 y2 G6 }/ EResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 o: n  q% H; G8 U( kjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

9 |+ {- p1 o0 h5 T0 `8 H: g- L3 I* _; ?POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
, \* _  U/ i  L# }None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 {+ ?7 t6 G  O' J- }" |* V4 kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
$ t* E4 `4 e1 w% m9 Tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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/ G7 N' q8 }" L6 GPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
. E4 ?# l* t3 K' ^2 \" ?+ H# v% OOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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6 }9 o/ J! [8 `' t  [# A/ R+ D+ HWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
7 }& a7 t( ^/ B$ c% I1 }Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
* |+ F3 d+ x& w% U4 {9 Z. AWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
  j% d; n, I( V4 BThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

6 H2 x; h2 ~: W) _* V* fBENEFITS:
4 k0 I' c+ `1 e2 {. ]) dWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

# U# S# a$ C# @" h; y8 ~, X  `unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
7 q6 `8 i( F, q3 I: `
1 c) L* `: h/ q4 M7 Vfor life if you play your cards right.
$ G  o1 P1 |: g- Q' B6 R4 P


  o6 T9 x$ S1 l6 q0 W& [' _
7 ]& K( \/ O0 ?+ f** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

9 Q' k+ Y! E; U1 v5 I; ~% W
" w( }' u# o. [0 Y, Z0 L
1 I3 O" P% I+ u7 a, XForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
* E* A5 C* M( @! afor the fabulous job they do...
4 e: y! ]4 F& h  p/ Vor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.