埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 3462|回复: 2

Job Description - Parent

[复制链接]
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:- g3 l7 @* C0 q: V$ r
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ s' N6 `8 c9 U/ p8 KDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
0 H: X8 {) \5 Q
3 Y& }/ G/ w( `  Z8 |0 |

1 F- m9 c& U$ K- n% z5 D' |% n; xJOB DESCRIPTION:
' b$ q; M0 h0 V, t$ `Long term, team players needed for challenging,
4 ~+ B& A) S: Y+ O0 H8 O8 W
0 ^, u$ F: M2 r3 v$ ^: opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" P9 z% M( l3 T5 |( F" ACandidates must possess excellent communication ) h: s7 B) J# i' X0 S
and organizational skills and be willing to work : n5 `8 d, l1 |" @9 W% ~
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 E4 `1 V/ W( Q: B5 v8 C+ Pand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 d  a! |* u4 ?1 x4 x  ySome overnight travel required, including trips to : W) U' s' d* X1 I/ P
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
! E7 ^$ K  o& |6 Q$ z0 uendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* X2 O7 z8 W  x( |Travel expenses not reimbursed.
* @' W) v2 B! E# TExtensive courier duties also required.
' y5 }# Y+ z# C# }) U5 F
2 i2 A6 M* H0 bRESPONSIBILITIES:
) i1 Y. _( b6 G5 K5 a7 wThe rest of your life. ) _# [7 `* ?$ [' L' K( u
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- A* [# U3 Z+ Y! W& B3 `until someone needs $5.
' R# T! B* q/ d( k& N, g4 c$ f' p% YMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. , w- u  {$ J" U
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
- r" |# B: j+ jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 9 ?9 r6 R! \; g! b. W, {8 _* V
in case, this time, the screams from * U. y6 S" |$ {8 e7 U
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. $ O! ]. K' j, B9 Y2 G9 c
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 C" a( ]* Y, @such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) V3 u" P4 f5 y8 M& `7 Jand stuck zippers.
6 v4 X$ E% v, r6 AMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
+ {/ W$ P. k  ?coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 6 x. z$ p( S% r! ?
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  z0 W: b' ~5 H. L! eMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# y, q( o* J" {; ~: f' {1 Wan embarrassment the next. 2 i* |  g6 c/ [( h" Z( g: ~
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 5 {& t" \* P6 i4 u* ]
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 9 ?! l' F% P3 D5 D! U. R
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
2 _2 q0 \* R- `1 G8 yMust assume final, complete accountability for - R; |  b' K' O
the quality of the end product. 2 X1 ]' a" _  S$ q) U& m
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and : ]3 n/ I5 L! ~
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
# {5 h8 b+ [! ~1 n
- W3 z5 x4 v: Y+ ^3 H$ `. MPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:* ?2 E) L8 e, ?7 G2 X4 Y
None. * J3 Q3 R$ z" Y1 b8 m" ]1 w
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, 6 G# w6 V" J' E  J' m; E
without complaining,constantly retraining and
+ m+ b' u, ?) \( Q  f. pupdating your skills, so that those in your charge 5 C: \* g! \! U( J. g/ T' T# k
can ultimately surpass you.* r0 Y6 t1 y& r
7 ?1 A  i0 J4 E& U: Z8 k

* z) {2 G9 {% i  Y* oPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
4 {: t) f3 N+ n6 T- q1 bNone required, unfortunately.
  A: ~# r$ y1 a- |1 ]( [/ I- mOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
9 r& v) e9 e9 d6 i$ p
8 {2 n2 p9 z# f, wWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" t; {2 `/ N4 T% |* |0 RGet this! You pay them!
0 R$ I1 l3 R. A8 B; J. tOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
- f( j- X, x" l3 X7 w' Wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ ~' Z( u! n# [! R& pof the assumption that college will help them
/ E3 A' ~6 Z6 j& k* Kbecome financially independent. & w! h( F$ i& A8 K, X0 k
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
( N* }  z3 s) @/ z6 IThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 \; \! {+ d) @% tyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. # R- W" ?/ @- ], L9 ^

  c1 a! w5 z4 ~# U. R; l, IBENEFITS: * [# E& |% G9 H, c/ H
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 M; m4 ?; \! d8 i1 r' N5 Dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) T% d, P+ y5 K  o! U/ ], ono stock options are offered,
' o* T. Q# R: v9 Tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,   z) h" q$ K* U3 n

3 i& m: Q* w& Y% nunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
: |0 y2 y) h& a2 ^+ p
1 I1 R$ g. w+ |. F* a- W: i# jfor life if you play your cards right.
* C6 B7 d1 V7 Z
, `  c# L" l. Y8 ?6 h # j1 `* _" w0 I- {
  X& q0 j8 Z1 A( l3 k& U

$ I3 g/ O; Z9 y" R6 E8 U' }" c6 O& `** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **2 g9 j9 t* Y1 G. D7 m  s$ A
8 I, v4 O1 ?/ ^: h- U5 B

& V+ i5 Y4 ~; Y3 F, l: e! g6 |( N" E+ a
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
- l3 Q. D! p6 l8 E: oletting them know they are appreciated
- m1 P- _, s3 Zfor the fabulous job they do... , F# ^2 w6 `7 X2 u  A2 F/ P7 ?
or forward with love 9 @' q! V' d' d
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
8 G; ~: n/ u7 r4 C7 n0 x7 S/ a- C9 u5 H. `
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-4-17 14:12 , Processed in 0.119798 second(s), 13 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表