 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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+ p6 h0 K6 i G' J0 v, q. }% DMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 0 w2 g2 J+ U9 o+ }
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
# n$ R# |4 C, q) o T" G2 {4 |Long term, team players needed for challenging,9 Z% c" @: Z" f9 d/ {9 V
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' z- |# l8 c4 d4 wCandidates must possess excellent communication 6 W( k+ w; m& h9 V ]& X
and organizational skills and be willing to work 7 K+ r# \' [; B% e3 ?( K7 S! A
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, D. v3 d$ y& b$ \2 U' yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. - j; k u4 C' N, }& B4 [
Some overnight travel required, including trips to . Q, i5 [/ p/ I' |5 T( ~, h
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 0 P" H2 q9 D' B
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
' T2 g9 P5 a& g& aTravel expenses not reimbursed. 8 J0 `$ h. l' e& r" C% Q
Extensive courier duties also required.
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/ `& O/ |2 S1 ?! @RESPONSIBILITIES:% ~6 k+ W5 e3 j; y: M
The rest of your life. 4 N2 |9 x- T4 F( } [% P
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; a3 B& d9 {+ X# t7 ~until someone needs $5.
* l z0 M. f' X: b% WMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- c7 [3 R5 K) OAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; D9 I' j5 Z" ^ F3 ~and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 6 n+ f, D/ a; u+ x3 @ q! | _
in case, this time, the screams from : b. b7 Q$ p3 N+ `& M
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. . A% Q! }5 G0 d" L
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
. h( N& k2 C% h1 k9 _such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 w6 p& ]" R6 M0 V% ` I5 Zand stuck zippers.
8 z+ @ F+ F$ M/ S" |5 MMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( m) x: K: f4 J! i. vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. 2 L" S3 z) Q- @5 Z; j5 k2 C& ~+ _
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' b+ p" y# W8 XMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
8 V/ d1 X5 K* [3 W% s/ S* N9 Lan embarrassment the next.
% l8 g1 Q/ H" b1 NMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a % y3 x( W3 _3 _3 B) `2 Z
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
5 W7 `6 `' r. XMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 5 g1 ^ G4 r% o- A7 `
Must assume final, complete accountability for
. F+ o& {& n; _% p2 `1 xthe quality of the end product.
+ b- s" J/ g* Q. OResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and m4 y( H& _* Z* H
janitorial work throughout the facility. . `- @9 d$ R" q- p/ }
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:" A$ G' Q: Y# |3 M% Y+ U
None. ' f# K( P$ `" ^
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, " R3 k, P& s7 m4 G+ p9 S4 m; z
without complaining,constantly retraining and , F+ e1 j/ l6 y$ M6 E! t
updating your skills, so that those in your charge 2 X+ x3 X' b% S3 M- b
can ultimately surpass you.! Y. P x. e$ C
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( u1 `' R6 n8 W% M2 mNone required, unfortunately.
& r" e, h! y4 l9 f+ jOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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$ |8 [$ y; b$ U! p% nWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, t/ ~5 ~! f# f% I+ n4 M$ l4 VGet this! You pay them! - |! M8 [' V+ }4 p$ r7 [
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
, X- `+ d3 F. _ @a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 Q4 I3 [; C7 _& x+ Hof the assumption that college will help them
2 w$ P0 G( `" s* U& qbecome financially independent. ' M: x. P- Z$ s" }3 q: M
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
# w6 j# @- A7 S, m* LThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
Z6 [, |+ _( ?you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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! g) d$ l0 c/ g0 Q9 `; k a# yBENEFITS:
) K- q! c6 \& ?( t& IWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ( o, f& x7 r: S
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and ( I7 ? k$ b) C' P6 s0 T. ]
no stock options are offered,
8 h. w5 m+ J6 R* M8 z3 tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, + T6 b1 w/ y# C' m8 l! y3 z5 ?
# ^1 p3 c* `3 {) H& B' i; ^% lunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses ) ?8 Q( K( N' w# |& A* F* W
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for life if you play your cards right.) g3 f: v6 ]2 B% b( \, k/ g+ }5 F
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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4 N, u6 W8 u3 W- e, s; @Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 V/ k9 d, F% R0 }, yletting them know they are appreciated & L" M5 G; S# B& M8 Q: j" I
for the fabulous job they do... # @" x5 n8 i: z U
or forward with love * Q( X# u |& p8 P
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
