Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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4 ^! Q" c% u% ~: iJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

1 ]3 @8 v- \4 U' gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
: `/ m: i; e* n9 gCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' a+ N$ O* j& C8 jSome overnight travel required, including trips to
" R& b- }+ K5 A& x, I1 Aprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ z* t, w. {* zendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
0 v$ s$ p* J: \Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

( \/ i% Y; S) k+ f$ u5 t  @* l5 }RESPONSIBILITIES:
; M8 L# x+ t( I+ z: u1 c: d. _! FThe rest of your life.
( p: a8 k; ^5 r; DMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
  X. Z" s, i1 qMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
! g7 k5 k9 J" N" M' k- H0 d( YAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
0 c8 d. I5 ?' {. [3 |% L5 _6 k" hin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# s9 M* z$ \$ U& i, ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" P# S; U1 e5 b  ]/ c) w6 yMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
; s( f- f4 e+ l3 oMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 W5 ^9 `! O6 r/ v* |! _half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ G  K9 z+ l) b0 ~+ TMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
( h8 J& E4 V8 I7 u3 sthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
5 l" c# U6 P/ b! a( yNone.
( S4 V0 \4 u3 o6 u: D1 |& [, ZYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
) U4 E, `3 Y3 r7 z' j; c! Y/ Rwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
1 j8 ~$ j4 h6 Ucan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
5 D, f0 n. c1 v0 b' c  M! iOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

2 U2 c- R* o- m' m5 N" m8 EWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
4 \4 Q7 |9 X4 x8 I' u4 U3 BOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
" `& d0 v$ C% f$ X0 ia balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
2 \3 b' Y3 q" ~" _* f/ t4 xof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
) J& R* ~3 W- T9 f7 M  p4 z9 }While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
6 m+ H' T* E9 D% u% j. ono tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) D1 B& Q0 m9 S! x& J  cno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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' c! a1 \3 B1 g+ [" Wfor life if you play your cards right.
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5 k' j! i3 G  f" n** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



, S* |% [  z4 l" dForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
! F2 H! n; `% E- P( {to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.