Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! L# g' e# j1 Q, v. RDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
' j' q, w6 v: l0 hLong term, team players needed for challenging,

& a9 |% h$ @1 Cpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
; c- @7 X/ e- s4 k0 _Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: s% s; r2 ^$ @- I: Z4 b+ |1 a5 {endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) r/ A# {+ w; i9 MTravel expenses not reimbursed.
9 t' |! C6 r8 U( UExtensive courier duties also required.

' v' {" F9 w: ]RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
6 e4 C* j0 H% ]( ~* wAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( M- v+ p8 R7 J/ \! PMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
. Z4 p. Y' P+ Y/ ?$ Gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' c  g* q% s! i3 N6 land stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" a0 K" U8 |+ `9 v, [! s. z$ U; A( qMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. G. J. g6 H  M% i# X8 n  gan embarrassment the next.
( |+ E4 g( O( H$ QMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
( P9 ?/ V/ x* x2 V- I: t7 w% ZMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
# @6 k0 i' B( Tthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' `8 o# e0 o3 k; x  }! N3 u" mjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 z! |& O$ z3 INone.
: n8 p( H, I& U1 q* _Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
" J7 c! q' m. r% ^' R, w' iwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
4 j& N. D2 c5 b( Rupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 M: U$ `9 @, q1 mGet this! You pay them!
3 Y! Q' l7 _9 y* \" f/ E9 g0 f& mOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ X0 a1 G; \+ G/ d. Oof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
9 G& @* Z, N2 k4 J8 O) q1 S3 L0 XWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
4 E# c: o. _" E% `$ W9 k+ hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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  @4 L* x9 g/ H' w' l$ t2 S/ T6 u) aBENEFITS:
% [' n7 W; n. A8 dWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
9 I8 H* s+ w* p! m* u' [this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
; y; j# x# U! a7 i2 F2 I
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

! q6 m: P0 s8 o' y& K& P+ t+ Bfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
1 ]* ?  o0 e, x7 K9 [or forward with love
# O8 m6 G+ X) Q1 {to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.