Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
- Y8 V- H# @( PMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
9 |2 V' v. o3 S9 Y) ^& B6 ]Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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1 q- y6 r2 d, H5 L7 p) F5 [) ]! J3 SJOB DESCRIPTION:
. Q0 N: c- C' D) v' i; B4 sLong term, team players needed for challenging,

! u1 y* J. F" U) ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
( l- o- L0 z; |5 O( {* NCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
& m% |) p' W3 Zvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, |$ @! [8 t; A; eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
4 ^1 k! V$ ?7 N+ k3 M+ pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% `& n+ R* b" k% @: ?  Eendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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/ _; ?) o% n% o' eRESPONSIBILITIES:
' A  x5 F* X* g" Y% f& GThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
, B& @  H" z. K' m( buntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ D* Y* p+ F! ~: N& Zin case, this time, the screams from
4 q0 K& s% n0 ~( Wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* j1 Q0 D0 \% Z: g2 B3 }$ MMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 D# e, _, c4 k9 c5 f; |6 N. P* Yand stuck zippers.
; Q7 C/ h. O+ \: m  p3 pMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ s) x( b8 v7 y8 L3 A5 Z! j, S: Lcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# g2 a! y0 B/ `/ p# {7 S7 F/ jMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 b7 u$ Y. A8 tMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 {# S- I7 p6 t9 z9 h4 qhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- i) i: q# z- {2 \Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' N. X2 Y1 Q/ I+ W5 }Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
7 L# G4 V! q7 _- X) l/ ^Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

+ g7 s0 V2 ^$ _1 C7 c& ]/ YPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
3 t" g$ J3 z, ]2 _# \& e$ @3 oNone.
- y- _% `  H1 E, F- S" MYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
4 @: I  L- L  mupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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  n# P- S: s8 {$ UPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
2 i" E5 m' \! [, QNone required, unfortunately.
/ e! p' _/ d- w' o: X5 {On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 H- i, F  m. I3 z  O3 |* H; l7 o9 IGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
0 T4 ^# Y9 n8 ka balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 ~  z# {2 ~% X, W0 c" s2 W0 }of the assumption that college will help them
' K9 t. L" t* g' }! U$ v& \0 Kbecome financially independent.
/ F' B" |  n; {  G1 k& uWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
( b2 y8 I2 d, H6 a3 tThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
5 E5 {9 q5 F1 {& ]6 Nno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
+ g/ ]3 U  x0 X( n% R( ^this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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7 }+ B- X) ?: Xunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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: K6 |8 T8 n' w9 l8 o, z% D. H' O** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



: Z. K, l9 o" S4 gForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
5 a- n) o% ~# R. Y% }for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
6 q$ V7 ]8 D5 Y, ]to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.