Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ c2 I- t' U. r. _! g7 _Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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$ @; [% U) S1 q) zJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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: L9 i& d* z! v+ ~9 ]" Ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! Y' F5 x! l# C* @. Q; ]3 gCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
; S3 w7 I$ @1 pvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" o0 h+ d- U' Y  q% J! qSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 b- j9 Y6 ~9 F/ Hendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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9 ?3 w& O' K+ ORESPONSIBILITIES:
' h$ t* _2 ]( wThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
. k( T" \; G8 V1 nuntil someone needs $5.
* L  C! [9 e. EMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" M: l7 U! G. F$ D% f6 g0 Fin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
7 C) r# ?  j) f& D5 o4 U6 ^Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: t0 D! ~; P! ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) ]: P# F$ Q" y# E% X, k8 w( D5 m7 Land stuck zippers.
  ~9 K( M/ d9 E) _( E: ^7 VMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
1 D9 C7 j* C5 j  XMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 E) p4 @" M% h& c( z! s% Q4 Dan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
9 A; y, A/ B' q2 k/ M# Shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
0 `% q2 O+ K; b$ A* Y# p$ A6 tMust assume final, complete accountability for
; x; D" D  N3 Y0 ethe quality of the end product.
( v; A! k0 w2 J1 zResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
  a$ Q2 d8 b+ njanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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6 l, Z8 f  V- q0 MPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
6 z/ Q9 A( i( A) hNone.
6 d" r" L. U+ A0 s% B9 OYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
4 O7 D" j9 j( W8 [6 M. Awithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


9 Q( r3 g) u, u) w2 F: K) cPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
: t. M( p; z5 z- p1 bNone required, unfortunately.
. O! g- H0 Y5 j- B4 f' f: I' S, ?On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 k4 q% y% `  K: nGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
% T$ Y2 G" d3 w8 o( }0 V4 ma balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
0 j  l: `4 Q/ S2 z+ ~of the assumption that college will help them
7 d9 Z7 k: d, z4 D5 a& Lbecome financially independent.
9 q4 s* u3 M: L( T# C- }When you die, you give them whatever is left.
9 Z9 x  O) N  k( ?' |( NThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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* H  D& a. O9 r% C. s5 @0 |BENEFITS:
! z0 n! p2 D' J2 ^While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
8 X6 A( Z$ t5 {) v1 j1 D) r4 Cno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
! x6 Y! R7 [1 e2 [9 Y% bno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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9 g, A# T7 z* U/ V0 L6 Runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



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; v& w7 r  x3 q# _  u( w3 d- C** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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0 k- {0 ?) n  L4 N+ \, E9 x  {. fForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.