Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
" j  l7 Y, r7 i0 K3 W: jLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
- I6 O& F' W  Q0 y0 M" Q% s; J, eand organizational skills and be willing to work
4 K! c5 u' j9 d' {) gvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
( b. W$ f" h4 {5 band frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" x( W0 Y; ]6 y! N$ x6 S! z' eSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; m! I$ Q2 X" ~+ _* p! C* ?2 HTravel expenses not reimbursed.
- V' s+ ]6 i7 _0 [1 L5 DExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
+ q' D1 _# l  _1 R8 z  NThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
1 C# ~5 X# f$ mAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 P$ ]2 a, H+ U' s( ~9 Vin case, this time, the screams from
3 a: ^$ N: I$ Z' D1 I, I" h, Rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
! Q, G4 D* _0 e2 Y% w  mMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
) e. |- a1 m7 {  T) rMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
1 ]0 B) }, y( \  b0 o1 y$ F( Athe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 }) j0 ?3 v- x% G4 Q7 gNone.
# m2 ?0 K0 Q1 l* f5 aYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
% X6 T. A% }8 |; M! b8 U* nwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
/ J( B" E/ W6 X8 |) r8 s" oupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
, m' O( V1 B1 }. ucan ultimately surpass you.
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5 z. V2 P& l' A2 a$ p3 m$ xPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

- ?8 J5 c. \$ k: A; v" V. MWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
7 e! h' \& M+ _8 G* P$ sOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
- E2 H4 Z) L6 k. R& za balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ Y2 S( C* ~4 z) N- gof the assumption that college will help them
. J& D3 J$ u9 C) ]2 J! O3 P" xbecome financially independent.
* q0 t  T, A- H/ E9 F/ F9 ZWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
: |  p2 O) s; B( B0 |! Kyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
3 U) E- t: G) o/ s9 ^7 Z1 K  R4 KWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
& }) Z1 _* `5 d) {0 hno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
4 h- H* t+ E7 n. l0 O! Ythis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

2 @0 ]9 Z% V0 ]. g# [4 q, l! y& Ffor life if you play your cards right.
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6 |0 x* c0 S6 b** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
4 {- B) c! Z0 R) R4 I) Uor forward with love
' Z# S% x/ Z1 K% k! L; M5 zto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.