Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
. {( K; d- H$ x6 MMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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+ I4 G, f5 @( F; dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 f7 Y8 y  n; k0 \$ s$ W6 ?# l" n& ?and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" ^& Q5 O5 J0 Q1 q& \- HSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
5 L, ?# U/ a* JTravel expenses not reimbursed.
1 @, A( J& `, v. Q$ U) x5 O( tExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
8 D6 ~- z" o3 ], N4 UMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% i/ p- M, s* U9 X/ Euntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
9 N2 E8 T6 @: d; @' c3 {and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. c& }4 ?' I- c: P* Rin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: @0 ^/ b7 r+ E9 m" Eand stuck zippers.
" q; S! c: H! w# ]0 A2 n! Z/ oMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
2 ?2 @) s1 {: z: j0 N6 _. m, {3 ~Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. [, z4 I) X. @; tan embarrassment the next.
6 F$ R- r) {" a9 kMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
9 N  h5 l1 f6 k8 N! A* t/ Phalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
. C+ f+ W7 {; o% ~+ b% HMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
0 p7 v7 y& S2 w5 Q& w0 bthe quality of the end product.
* i. t/ k* |6 _% @$ QResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
& \: @6 N5 s- r. Bjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 {/ P+ ~/ l5 `None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
& N7 y: o, c" b" Y( @! pupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

0 |* u& G+ s0 I6 u, TWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 G8 k1 q/ K# N" I/ [, f% Xa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
$ y' }# C' ~# Kbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
& {0 h& u% Z' w, M& TWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
5 m  P8 a' {+ Q; T& F& X3 R7 Rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
9 ?1 U: C2 ^* f  ~5 @no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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2 e& ]3 Y4 s  Q/ c& i+ H. g1 Y' mfor life if you play your cards right.
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+ f2 B% V2 X4 B4 G; W** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
/ n6 T& ]; ^2 X; N7 Yor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.