Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) `+ s( i/ ^! _Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
7 F1 `+ T7 @6 y# i6 |- ?4 {9 l& Y2 p& q

% H& w+ W  |9 \3 N; F+ aJOB DESCRIPTION:
, `2 N  x/ H  m6 OLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
4 Y! e: u' m3 b7 g3 Band organizational skills and be willing to work
& x. `2 X: ?. \9 X/ wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
5 _9 d5 n3 a4 aand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) ^8 W% r. v: W' ^  ~) DTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
/ ~* Z7 D9 a6 B$ ^8 T  a$ }& rMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 W3 L8 P/ e- F6 K  Wuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
& }. l1 F' m0 |2 y; D, Z  R1 B7 z+ Bin case, this time, the screams from
; V9 s! d# |5 @1 V6 C. _the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- v  e% d1 @$ @; L* n& Yand stuck zippers.
9 t8 }4 {+ D4 @3 E# Q+ z6 p* c4 zMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 G6 V0 Y7 S5 F7 r* b1 ?$ Wan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
7 A' }; i: x/ s/ L- d* a& o" @half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ ^) t$ |' W5 }$ oMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
: N6 [- m% F& c1 B& M# r0 O2 p# OResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

* y1 k! ~* j0 d0 ]1 uPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
) |; }  u% L  }% O$ G3 U) x" i% \Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
% g% x$ V0 u5 T: J$ q, l' ?. gcan ultimately surpass you.
% J2 b0 K/ R" ]
( m% q' Q' C4 R5 o
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
+ Y7 o. z, p! z* UOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
; [+ U* r( `& t
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
% B5 s1 K3 c1 U" c% s9 Y3 uGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 ^( X* J8 ~- ^% p$ ?* ~of the assumption that college will help them
4 ]& N. a/ H" z3 Jbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
# A8 @3 y2 f, T( {. `% yThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
& U6 _9 d/ b7 A: g/ F
7 x, W* e8 E# A: @  ]* _  MBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
3 E' G6 G/ Q# f/ I( a& wthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
. Q$ ^% \0 ^! h8 H" s# T
) h; h: [; p. w" b$ B! [2 w0 yunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


6 d2 [( o9 v! [* o6 ^) Q
  D0 D3 Y8 t7 d/ R* `$ G" o8 p: U
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


: ?& i$ ?' y& n8 W' h) R
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
# t! o, \$ P. o0 v$ H: V8 ?for the fabulous job they do...
: }% |  b& d" n: x4 ?$ ]or forward with love
  F6 ^2 a( a2 a% f) I. m6 @to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.