Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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8 n2 i3 t- L5 s" E. yJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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8 r- ~5 }- z+ _% v) l, B2 npermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 l* m# O& X, x! Z- `+ T* uCandidates must possess excellent communication
- D; e2 v; b' Y( }' gand organizational skills and be willing to work
& \% y- g* l: ?8 u) m" i' B! ]! |variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
. O0 V8 h! L! l  M7 O& _) m0 N) ~Some overnight travel required, including trips to
! L7 n* v7 S& I/ cprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
$ W% V, S) H% \$ d5 Xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, c1 W5 v2 Q) @0 c2 M" I- [Travel expenses not reimbursed.
" R  f6 T8 }- a& q( {) iExtensive courier duties also required.

2 @/ \: p  w  f5 Y& K  ARESPONSIBILITIES:
# Z8 t0 U! g. X5 d0 v4 @7 LThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
* x1 {  ~( a8 S- L  W" PMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
, N) h' p3 D! F* M) `' TAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
% [+ `! N! i- J0 n/ a5 e& Z! vand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
' O- X: u2 [3 y6 W* T) k/ kthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
0 u8 o0 d1 n# o4 B3 y3 Z6 n& S1 gand stuck zippers.
$ J7 Q, K2 X( Y" T4 A' DMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
0 f; u" W0 S2 Ncoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
& h. l" H1 y6 m8 Z) {5 VMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
; t( |- G& Z7 X# T! Z/ a  vMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 D. z# E" s6 L3 Q% a- g& L. Yan embarrassment the next.
: R1 C6 L2 m# y" F! _# Z. Z1 C# uMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
& B( f% G& G& N% jMust assume final, complete accountability for
+ n% y. a" @4 Lthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 O$ s% j8 l7 G5 @janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
5 q: T: D: j9 f( P7 DNone.
( M8 ~( @; [  WYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 W; P% V% t5 O& F5 Y5 SNone required, unfortunately.
& _: B% F$ U; KOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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% H1 |+ Q/ r4 N$ _( b  sWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
6 R" P% |3 T2 `, O$ n* o/ ^Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ x" S, J; c6 Qof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
& G3 u) D. J. v" ^0 Cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
. r5 a. a1 E: f+ l7 M9 lthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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4 [) }; D7 X. e% `* |8 Z4 R3 kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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9 R3 B8 T9 R3 G# `" Pfor life if you play your cards right.
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7 ^' g1 V5 B, I** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# a1 E' A( S4 B+ c5 Vletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
2 J# a, h. H5 F1 wor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.