Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
/ j+ K8 ^0 f0 ^Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
; k- a- `0 a2 H& gCandidates must possess excellent communication
  m) r" Y3 M5 H0 B# X: Zand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 O6 R* L/ O3 M. t7 b9 Nand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
0 M  m) m0 s2 x: Eendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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$ D+ q6 |$ i0 T+ V2 RRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
0 T9 }3 Y; A6 hMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 }2 Z; {2 g. kuntil someone needs $5.
0 |& p8 N0 S$ H) fMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
( `2 |/ D& L& U: @2 w, x4 ^the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
5 T' Q8 y2 v, Qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
. w" J/ u. i/ E3 dMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
2 s) F7 g4 s( [8 V; z) W. @Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. {  t. Y/ g6 vMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% F" y( l7 S& P# ~/ @* P1 D7 o) ^Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
0 @+ o4 S1 ~' {( }* |0 X1 V5 Xthe quality of the end product.
1 g" o2 c+ G( P: D7 y. {" n1 JResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 b  x# N* Z* @/ Vjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

* [0 `# b; K( b% I6 ^POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
% @: s+ X( E, X3 FNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
! P3 ~1 T* @( S# g) N$ ~without complaining,constantly retraining and
  N. M+ }8 B4 D0 m% {4 y* pupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
* q0 p. [) u# v2 c' s0 \a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
" z4 E8 l8 p$ s' c( k! Iof the assumption that college will help them
% x( H8 m4 b. f9 x! rbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
5 b6 [* e$ m, A5 ^$ fno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
: ^  f6 C3 J( m/ U( F% h' Lthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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# t6 R7 y, s6 @! g6 V; B: @** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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# ~+ h2 V: \( I- k, tForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
6 _# H5 e0 f6 Q7 hletting them know they are appreciated
0 I$ {5 }! W, _& {) kfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.