Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 o1 V# Q( e0 ~% i1 FMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


& }, G; T! W  g/ }" m( UJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
! O  f0 j2 x# f3 N' @) K
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
8 N( J/ {0 L! A0 a5 ?Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
3 J9 u" ~# _+ u7 u# w2 s  P* nvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
# p! g8 Z, k; A+ w* F7 Uand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
  S6 [3 j& O; R. ]* r" U9 g; A& q! ASome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
- @( c, S9 m+ h/ d9 Z2 _, Wendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
8 @( c2 v; G( P9 DTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

/ X& {: e2 a% e4 @) ?$ ?+ N7 yRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& Q' `0 x7 N8 f  N: P& @9 e6 puntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
9 D4 K' M1 r: G7 FAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
4 b* S3 x4 x% Ain case, this time, the screams from
8 \+ j% [; V$ f3 x3 K, T7 kthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- r$ u7 D' c! jand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
; F$ @- S# `* H2 [$ _7 t1 ~Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
6 N& K2 ~: g3 ?) p- uMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ W9 ^# H2 }# |$ R# Xhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
8 P4 r4 t" v1 n) l/ [6 i( e* lMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

0 O2 _9 ]7 N0 j7 v) f7 W( G8 APOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
, l* R% r" e" L" K% f+ F2 c" l5 z7 @None.
) h9 a3 K5 Z/ ]* \/ e: r& p2 u( sYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
0 x7 t( O4 I4 e* g% D. k) Uupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
6 Y" p; n  D* E# K( k! s3 t
0 `$ @( B  {. M2 t
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 B" k9 n* t4 c$ FNone required, unfortunately.
  {  L+ i% h4 Y5 W6 B& F" `On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
: G/ m/ M! Y1 V8 }become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
0 G) Y5 T) j3 b# E4 u! eThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( J: N/ t& o, Hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) b- i" i) y+ y9 f5 Zno stock options are offered,
! ?) ?: X' V8 Athis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
. c4 a3 l2 i8 \: y* |* ]2 P
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
# _$ Q4 F% x. U& N. @9 I$ y% q
  J! o' |# f' Z8 b6 n
; E6 G8 R+ A# P8 v

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
( Q, a" }6 }( Y) sletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
/ K0 F0 q% y( c' ^) H: i2 Eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
* Y9 O. N1 `6 v# I, k, f

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.