Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
. ^' f9 `) w9 eDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
9 A  W  x. D( \$ x, ?5 D' m, e
0 t# A8 v: z' f" w  @% [/ bpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
) b0 s0 z- w# z  W8 band organizational skills and be willing to work
/ E3 ~1 ^6 `3 bvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
1 m$ ^, {: J; e# V1 hprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
8 Y- K6 O0 f$ P0 o) o3 h. auntil someone needs $5.
3 |1 [0 X8 }0 S5 n, I7 rMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* P* b3 R, k& |0 WAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
: E- f# l$ k  U8 t; eand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# o- I, ~, y6 f, @; o- xsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
( X, e2 ^/ z: L3 h9 }and stuck zippers.
, H& Z( {+ |2 E! ZMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 y/ ^/ B* B, {& s9 g& q0 G0 Kcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 k) [$ b7 b  K2 C$ _3 M( }2 y% |Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 I" j1 P( f( D) EMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 i4 d: B9 Z5 a1 E3 Nan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. L+ J5 Z% e6 `6 D  GMust assume final, complete accountability for
0 ]1 L! J5 C9 [  K# N0 `) vthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

; V( }' ^6 J" |' ]$ ?5 UPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
! z$ |% Q4 @* \) q  D$ u9 ^without complaining,constantly retraining and
0 p4 x; D* Q$ zupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
: ?/ [# m2 G+ y3 G: ccan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" R! U* N" w8 j9 l* a# LNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* W( [. |2 t: a2 M8 PGet this! You pay them!
0 S5 a& D; J6 x: }0 w6 @5 B0 a  KOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 X4 t+ g" F" W: h2 ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
& k# g1 p8 }% rWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
& ~7 T# D2 t$ g7 T+ F6 Oyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
0 `& g+ z9 |) `0 J; z& z. l  P/ ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
* Q& ^6 T- H2 H3 O& [6 _0 f
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
% n% B8 B& G0 P+ i
for life if you play your cards right.

2 p( l( U* D3 r5 e

9 k6 U1 V+ M7 l1 I
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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* |: _5 T0 _! }8 Q& m% o
) y9 w! a( X- m5 M* G
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# F$ D4 D; B" C: s7 }letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
3 t# V/ J5 {% Pto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.