 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma # p- u4 N, r2 P8 B* y! v
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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: y3 k+ Q1 z* p' ]! GJOB DESCRIPTION:" R% ~1 q6 v1 p6 b$ `
Long term, team players needed for challenging,9 b* a) z9 c+ S* D8 E2 m" e8 e1 e0 ]
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
B; x) `) N# ~: ^( \' NCandidates must possess excellent communication : S: H; r( `6 o Q1 J
and organizational skills and be willing to work 3 {6 W/ ?% {9 K2 m7 @
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: `' ]: }, P, E$ J/ L; g# }and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
. Y5 o# J% s6 Y* F8 k+ x' a- `8 _Some overnight travel required, including trips to ; d7 z% Y! o7 Y/ S p* P, C
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 6 E) C( G) g8 b: j# _: r3 S- m
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! : e! H0 `1 E& c" v/ w5 M
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
2 o+ N! m8 c8 I' J) S5 nExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:' H( K1 h; o7 O2 N6 N! p. w
The rest of your life.
, N0 H$ `) g' ~$ rMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ' w+ g, D" Q! }( [
until someone needs $5.
: e2 K+ s0 l2 h* D( V! VMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 5 j" O1 h% j$ D. ^$ s, I2 F- i
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
% T# E0 y V) K) m" v( G2 Aand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 5 }3 T' {! n0 T+ U3 B9 T3 E+ P
in case, this time, the screams from & ]' _5 v9 a. r. J3 ~, M a
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. - f8 b7 i/ J$ F4 w P' w
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
% \( J/ _- f( k4 g4 I( T; lsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets / o3 D2 N0 B- w% q3 K9 c
and stuck zippers. 3 f, \0 c% C6 {1 X8 z1 ?
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
" {# j) ~7 F9 Y+ bcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. o, R7 h# G9 s1 s( J
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. ) J. \+ Z# u. k+ i4 I& z
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, ' \8 |. t4 q: E x) N
an embarrassment the next.
( G9 g9 F6 x' j6 F" ^1 c/ MMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
6 B% b( e) p) M. S0 F6 O) ]( q1 ]+ ~half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
6 o/ d, w. {! |1 ~ z. U- ]Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ) q6 w2 [+ h3 \
Must assume final, complete accountability for
# L3 N% x0 c3 m0 sthe quality of the end product. $ `4 I4 G3 Q6 M1 o: N9 B
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and , w% Z7 A4 }" @* Z2 ~
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
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Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* g% N G# y# X. z) j! ^without complaining,constantly retraining and
! C7 J; v- E. `7 i: q" T: S0 Cupdating your skills, so that those in your charge - T* A- Y+ e6 Q
can ultimately surpass you.5 S% j* g. `% ^* i0 A
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$ q: X" [. F( W5 p8 VPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. T9 Q3 `' J' a) Y0 p+ DNone required, unfortunately.
2 e+ ~: {* {: h, v% D P% q/ wOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. : \+ ]- l9 [2 i3 l! x: O8 J! Q) q
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: / z. U* G2 j6 G# R2 t" b2 O6 G) e
Get this! You pay them!
& @; |3 a* a) xOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
; }9 ?, a! p1 [+ Y6 x: d& Wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; A) Q+ L0 S. s: n; e+ ?3 g0 h* eof the assumption that college will help them
' K" c0 M% E' X3 W4 [become financially independent. ; @3 @6 F: s Y3 C8 k) A7 L
When you die, you give them whatever is left. : f! k _. a% T! r0 r! w7 @% `
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 X+ S0 g( c% N+ S% h) Tyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. : Z8 N- J' z7 x
+ A$ a2 a) r( ^* w% Q, @BENEFITS: I# m' y6 V( E' a& y$ V6 k' {
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ; A0 J7 n+ h2 i8 Q6 k A# C
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
+ M. ?1 f( O( ~/ q. L& x& p- Ino stock options are offered,
) y8 f. M8 G _. b& gthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 0 t/ G5 R! D" I
+ |- A. R2 S- k2 bfor life if you play your cards right.7 ?+ M% N# D2 ^9 L
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. R' ]0 Y$ T* e# }** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **3 y: I5 B1 ]; b
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
) W- `! u. J& Z x0 I6 hletting them know they are appreciated 8 S6 u: e3 K- ~8 {/ X4 \7 V
for the fabulous job they do... " _1 X- Y1 C5 C% c
or forward with love * `; ^- D& A6 o4 N, v2 h6 ^- V8 N
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
