Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
8 E/ F3 F4 {: H9 ^Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
0 o: r. e+ N% ~  vLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' D2 a/ ~; ~- r1 d$ f" KCandidates must possess excellent communication
6 l0 \. P2 d3 J7 M. i' F- @9 z% D+ cand organizational skills and be willing to work
  A" k- f5 ], t7 Mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
# j# K( ]: ^" F, e* A! Jand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
! c* r# l5 R3 d( X( J% eendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
6 F( u7 r5 S5 k0 i  kExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
8 C2 l+ x* Z+ D$ L, hThe rest of your life.
- `# x, K# `  Y" T. S0 [' OMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
6 I' Y! u, Q+ c3 f1 ^5 ?Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ q4 Y5 F& ^+ v" r+ e/ k& gand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
. L( C0 v0 W# w9 Qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
+ ]/ `/ i7 n/ x) k, }* YMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ D% z$ N5 x' c$ Xcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 }) ^; ^% F* R  e: e0 {Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
+ V9 W& Z) o/ ]) u8 N, Dan embarrassment the next.
: \9 q; b" j; ]Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
1 L! Y$ w' j! A) p" h- H% p: ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
! _" E" r- }8 o- R( FResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) s3 j7 {6 k6 R' E6 C7 Kjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
8 ^9 X& F: z5 D. h6 k& U- BNone.
1 q% m7 y: ^( N+ K5 {( E( d0 l  U: iYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ k! A; t! ~/ e; {8 D& Y/ Vcan ultimately surpass you.


. {2 Y3 o9 m4 y; t; h+ ZPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
: M& T8 a+ T" v  ?  P' U+ x9 wGet this! You pay them!
& \& _  _% \( ?# S7 g( y/ p6 tOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
7 z5 h; l- h- Pa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
3 y' q) @- o% A+ a0 f5 aof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
) E* i! m) w5 h7 Y0 t, P3 |When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" ?7 B* J6 f7 ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
8 ?1 P" ~1 v2 }( z3 ono tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
( }6 p7 S7 ?! v* z! O/ u# b$ n3 h" [this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
0 C7 P; ~! O/ @' t2 g3 y' b, `letting them know they are appreciated
* _& P! _/ n0 S, r- o1 G+ K! ffor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.