Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
' M" C# \4 E; v( R4 O: G$ i6 KMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
7 y9 F( i0 ~/ [6 O' uDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
6 e1 ^! y3 \& B. A
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
' h0 K4 w, q% Y$ L" X. y- t, A1 ~and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* |7 E: Z  c& nSome overnight travel required, including trips to
0 q5 f1 |% P2 y) Qprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  Z2 O. Y. I9 a; p) lendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
2 n* f' v* [2 M4 Q7 L; HTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

: R% p# L/ I. v% YRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
' r9 l: X7 Q$ ]/ s5 V) U5 EMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
: L0 B) @2 f1 l5 l4 [Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
4 O1 H  `6 s- Zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
; U: B5 M! R. n: g) U# P# pMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' Y) \, [7 @5 P# Z! M; J# Oand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
2 K* D/ D1 `& q0 _! j1 Icoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
2 I7 v% x& X5 M0 aMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
" s4 X9 X5 o$ c. K& Fan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, R' B9 D1 R$ k- P" Njanitorial work  throughout the facility.

3 |: g% @/ q: Y) `! Z9 k% SPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
0 E1 q" x: Q( l: x- P  WNone.
$ ^9 B) M, T1 E: kYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 {9 W, p; Q4 ?. h* u5 b0 Gwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
% O- g( O4 f: h6 `+ [updating your skills, so that those in your charge
' Q( M/ E  }3 b! ucan ultimately surpass you.
) @. ~7 A$ |% o+ ?! c6 C$ O/ f# s& b
  q1 J. o! g- G/ f2 |+ f' a9 f
& u3 W9 u1 I( }+ n+ ~7 g; C2 EPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ D. U+ J9 S6 o3 XNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
6 x$ \2 P3 n8 w- Y) Z% zGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
# O" c5 J/ T6 a+ A) s7 ?, m# }( ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
0 p- i% |/ N3 A" Cof the assumption that college will help them
. X# x" d3 R* q7 |) g( y. z5 Xbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
. j: l( o$ M; K
4 o* M. Y8 z3 i' z7 T* IBENEFITS:
0 D7 P# y: P/ l' X3 m+ }While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
. f6 c. L* Z0 C, m6 O# Q$ I4 A
for life if you play your cards right.


% I0 p& R! o* [

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
- E# d2 ]- O' \+ P2 R  l
, g1 \  s" T) u- S' a$ d3 s

& ?+ P( N3 x0 cForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
  q/ ~1 p# ?& Z' q! pletting them know they are appreciated
  m  N; S4 M8 lfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
3 T& L1 _* P3 U! z% \; b& L- pto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.