Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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, M" r6 T/ |, c  Y) g) |1 ]5 jJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
% Q% H; j8 S* x' RCandidates must possess excellent communication
* ?9 @- q# l5 Q% wand organizational skills and be willing to work
: I% b! _! E8 |variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& B+ c) g2 ?2 Y' JSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
* f  ^( @2 N  |+ o( g+ O5 zendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
( l/ _* `, O5 F( \Travel expenses not reimbursed.
1 r$ o- a' K7 b  BExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
: s3 d) k+ K5 v' g' gThe rest of your life.
3 x3 _+ ~  g& u+ `$ r7 FMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ C; O7 j2 |/ ~, suntil someone needs $5.
4 m; j$ {) y' S' e* m. @Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
7 ^# i/ K, I1 e; k+ Dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( ?- p  E4 i3 k* v+ _% q* [Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
. [2 `' M" l' R% z1 p- y' \3 B+ fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
( s: v( \9 m* j' h% W+ Aand stuck zippers.
: i8 F# K& N! n( k- e$ Z" n0 ~' VMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ d1 {: _1 k& X- ucoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
* Q& `# K- ]$ S2 [( cMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' p% v' ]3 a, Q5 a3 O' ZMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. Q+ t9 o* ~( g" ZMust assume final, complete accountability for
) a+ t) _& i6 N, g; Cthe quality of the end product.
; [6 ?% A6 F5 H( ~Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
- F7 M# k' c, Y6 x1 D% pcan ultimately surpass you.


0 U7 _2 B6 C/ N( J. O( f  HPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ h0 H' e% ?( w1 ~None required, unfortunately.
6 d: Y4 ~' i. r5 JOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
5 e& q$ f' {- _) E8 n6 f* ^Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
( `3 N0 I- l9 ca balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
6 \9 T" ~+ S0 i( d0 p. g7 KThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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' {# a7 t3 p3 F, A4 |& O8 `' LBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 v9 E* ^$ F/ h; L4 Q% h$ Bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
& K( u. ]7 G8 H! _* }, P$ Z5 Hno stock options are offered,
! U$ ~- q! n8 w7 H8 pthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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$ E& |4 l$ W- cunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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. f$ l0 d' U9 d3 Gfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



- A+ P2 r0 h! n# U$ }$ `) yForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
0 k# R( a5 O+ ~; m) Y/ for forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.