Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 h1 R' Z9 l2 _. u7 v0 EMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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4 K+ c+ x& n7 p* ?" m! k+ [7 UJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
1 p9 M( E5 D& c4 t/ Fand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# ^; d' S4 g1 JSome overnight travel required, including trips to
% H* H. }  k$ @5 x3 X7 T$ }. Fprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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( n- p5 ?/ d; ]0 q( ^RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& R* u, a3 g; M5 d7 ^! k$ luntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
! z/ u: o5 S1 I1 l( [& F9 j. kAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
& i5 i5 \2 D: ~; {and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 n" u8 \; O* t. b' j) Z' ?) c# ]  yin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
, E) G/ ]# t5 ]( O+ GMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! K& n! x0 H. y; T6 zand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% `- w+ `3 ^: A* W6 O/ n0 v/ K/ _coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
1 U8 N7 ?: t4 G* C; U" pMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 a1 K; N% M+ L% b/ J" O0 P; oan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
! l3 ]" D$ v+ }  e1 X) y9 ]9 [the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
1 Y' _3 i. W+ Z3 J) V8 Rjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
9 f, U% R9 h/ j3 c4 {% h+ OYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 b! h- H2 i) V5 d$ D6 I, O5 dwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ V: D7 S0 r! T8 C. m. D( tcan ultimately surpass you.
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3 e1 F) k1 F" {1 b$ v1 B" K! jPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% ^- ^% T7 f+ _& Q2 L$ }7 ?0 |8 yNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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+ }) A& H0 n0 E* D* c' G% RWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, \2 E+ q1 a2 e& jGet this! You pay them!
- w( Q9 O4 V& o3 S3 ]7 b* Z1 T) p6 ^: kOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
- P# E: j3 O) ?5 p- y- H6 wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
3 C( o' I/ X. nWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 B! C$ `  j* yyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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5 d4 }, _$ t% x1 b! {$ e' v2 bBENEFITS:
6 g, X9 v% H0 H) ?# _0 Y3 mWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ Y6 {  t- _# ?. k) F; Z' I7 f5 jno stock options are offered,
9 V0 ?% D7 }/ P6 zthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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( O; @2 x" Q) h! F7 [2 PForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 k7 \$ d/ Q* ?8 bletting them know they are appreciated
5 h# Z8 R- x! x  u& lfor the fabulous job they do...
+ a8 C7 _7 Z. c( Dor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.