Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
. S7 {2 T; U1 m; O: K; EDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
- ~* _, H2 D, ]3 B4 A, _, J" c8 ILong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& i$ Y( h7 M5 uCandidates must possess excellent communication
* Q* m: q- D2 T! E( l% X. Iand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 c1 w; {# F7 ^% W3 D/ V# Qand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
- R5 J0 @: r% Zendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
9 M5 h; q: \8 E# S3 s$ Q5 jTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
! E  [" R* y2 ]* P: qMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
! u: v2 ^5 V2 s8 |  M% l9 t# L: cuntil someone needs $5.
8 ]% ^6 c6 L* D$ HMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ L' t$ I. X6 p- |$ RAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
! U8 y- O8 ~; Sin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 ~" S- O7 r7 u' Zsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
; _1 Z& ]6 _' `( eand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ T) S4 N3 O( t. z+ A& Pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  S/ K- S/ M/ RMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" c' c+ b3 Z5 O' I: h+ eMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
- }: _, o( q9 ?: Ran embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
$ ]% H7 N9 Y: S; `- g% C5 o1 X& PMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
% A: w9 n5 z% a+ _3 ?5 _% J( M, Q6 GMust assume final, complete accountability for
; u/ d5 m! B9 i2 b' g0 q/ mthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. e' m9 W4 b" \, ojanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
, {/ U3 d, E2 ^1 `2 r! m( Qwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
4 d- r# t: Y: ^/ I/ n! m5 _updating your skills, so that those in your charge
9 A9 k; [6 r. z$ P/ J7 N) wcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
3 d# k+ z; @8 q3 Y  S, M# gOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
/ G3 m/ a. w' h* d8 za balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. Q6 i! e  s9 e) Z  M" a" vof the assumption that college will help them
* w* E3 P+ n* O6 m# H1 j2 z6 jbecome financially independent.
; v. k  B/ [4 w; qWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
: w4 d: ^! \' v5 h. s4 y, U4 Vyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
& d% I) v1 \5 v" Tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

( m5 J# c; P5 A5 g' A. P- ]; runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

; `9 x% h9 N8 l4 zfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.