埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 3121|回复: 2

Job Description - Parent

[复制链接]
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:
, B8 o8 P$ X/ x! O+ B; j8 yMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma % \. h$ [* q) N8 N. g: O/ n
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

5 n( y/ Q! N2 v& t7 l5 X& D9 T9 A
9 j! N! \+ J$ p2 D2 o' n3 B+ _% p. @+ o
JOB DESCRIPTION:1 r) C( a" a& q  |* K- a  ^4 k3 W7 b* l
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
5 V- x! I" R4 s; Z/ d
+ [# \9 J) Y( S7 F8 X/ k* `permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 G1 L5 W" U" oCandidates must possess excellent communication
9 w3 L* n/ L2 o  G: _and organizational skills and be willing to work 6 y. ?- q% a+ Y
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- u( ^6 G, P8 r- land frequent 24 hour shifts on call. . o' c# C% m# m, N/ j! l
Some overnight travel required, including trips to . @! ?( Q9 E' w- ~: }) V
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and * S, ]1 z& c& n
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! # S% |* ~: D. s7 @
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
5 l1 ^# [% l5 R8 y. NExtensive courier duties also required. / k; N! T6 o  v

" U& f4 |6 ]/ D% S( DRESPONSIBILITIES:0 G6 d# s( l/ E3 p2 r
The rest of your life.
, R* v) C3 l5 q" s: lMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 1 c9 B1 O* e% x5 y  T
until someone needs $5. ( N0 \2 n  J$ v! y4 X7 o
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. / o! j0 a0 r% n  x. N8 c# g0 m
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  U# ?+ J* ?/ U8 Rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat / q/ Y  O* m$ ~! E# u4 K5 a
in case, this time, the screams from
0 A# W, q; y/ z9 P5 t4 Hthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" V$ H3 _) S2 O* a# L9 ~Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 2 {& R$ [' H0 g* V- ?
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 8 K+ |% d4 R8 E+ o  k  i
and stuck zippers.
! ?" w* _% ^- u3 i& C& V, PMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 4 X  [% O! w2 E4 Y+ P# ?
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( R. O% G' A; A* wMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
) n: }2 j% L) M7 ^. d1 |. N0 l2 hMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  O9 R6 z: M7 b, Lan embarrassment the next.
% g& C& U  y' J! i7 gMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a ' T: d( B+ y+ u, k( q8 `% @0 a" a9 i. @
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& j$ e  Z. N& _6 g3 S6 GMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ! }; ?; L5 K# S2 S
Must assume final, complete accountability for ( L" K% K: H0 o& U% b
the quality of the end product.
0 [1 ?, a. b4 ~8 i3 d6 t3 a  xResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and , j. l, l& s/ J2 d
janitorial work  throughout the facility. " J& G6 ?" b) O- k4 x& U

6 A9 i# h; p/ l* BPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:4 S2 {0 |3 i% I% A) A
None.
8 L+ b, B) h4 K# E+ w5 X5 |0 V( BYour job is to remain in the same position for years, 8 B5 J9 n* c& K8 G% A% A/ J; L  E
without complaining,constantly retraining and ) A' Y4 s0 q7 l" S5 N, o+ |
updating your skills, so that those in your charge 8 x7 w. g( |) F+ E
can ultimately surpass you.1 _! ~$ r7 {5 t( A  u8 K
$ h: i- u% }1 u6 M* b7 O
& g4 |. w& q; f# a
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( o4 E% t8 E7 i) _5 JNone required, unfortunately. ( `0 c2 Z" X5 l# L' k7 Z2 }( y
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
7 Z8 X: o- O8 p$ R5 O! e! L5 d, p; n3 Z0 ?% C
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  m" A( c8 R" a. J$ |# ^  R# OGet this! You pay them!
9 _; e; L+ P: t) ?; q- ]4 IOffering frequent raises and bonuses. , D6 ?/ j. k8 U. w
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- d* S) F+ o+ H# m2 \3 S, `" R7 bof the assumption that college will help them
1 b6 q- [7 p+ @, M4 Wbecome financially independent.
4 S/ F* W$ D6 Q, j% ?8 K2 |When you die, you give them whatever is left. 4 P% ?4 @, _$ |, |- U
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
  V, R- m3 a, V* }# M, w% Zyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
7 f" {. O$ x" \- S' E1 a! z" f
0 ?$ a& ^& z; n0 O% U" ]( ?2 WBENEFITS:
) C) h7 F/ }, u4 d5 ~While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 0 K% @8 H' w' _' D; e! B
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
% o" j0 Z. R$ A' c! Z: I, jno stock options are offered,
% ^8 ?1 ~( U  cthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
4 f& X. o! M3 L: ~# ?1 l8 ~8 B/ [
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses ; x+ O  _. R; ^" }
" t2 U( d0 F# r* a. C  Y, K( k0 F
for life if you play your cards right.
# o5 R3 y! ~- Z% f1 S  f. T' g  I# M7 v0 h* X- W: |  p/ z
- O) K& n  q: m# t' k" J4 y( q( ^8 Y
$ W) A9 t0 @& o1 W+ y, M) ^3 K/ v% c

2 b( B) y  q4 S9 S; ~+ B** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
3 T( V/ k6 P! v" o" [$ w3 ^
5 z+ M2 m; D" m+ j% t" J# U
! s  O5 D/ x, }+ x
" k& I5 k" t. g$ x1 }4 o  N4 TForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
. o' G. z& d. Q% i, b* {( O' }letting them know they are appreciated ( g2 Z3 \7 ~! i: G- @* i
for the fabulous job they do... 4 y% c$ k& i$ L. c9 K7 Z
or forward with love
/ k3 G0 @6 R- [5 p  E7 @to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
8 Q+ S  M  E* L% r+ F; _
; `& \8 m8 ^. f0 T* O8 P1 I# [# M
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-2-12 21:41 , Processed in 0.147957 second(s), 13 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表