 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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2 I' j' _8 E; ?: T. Z; U6 K- ~# ZMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: B! w7 {( i! e& G! JDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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. ?9 W& L1 E! s8 [( N( x! iJOB DESCRIPTION:. v q# z4 r0 ~" R9 D, A9 V
Long term, team players needed for challenging,+ m: G# ^ y8 X3 n2 w
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. $ u9 f$ ]( n7 g2 }1 c1 R+ O
Candidates must possess excellent communication
0 H" |7 V9 @' Aand organizational skills and be willing to work 3 Y3 a. a: Z8 g7 g" `& x
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends % E G% n$ B0 K" i4 g! H: `6 X
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. , ]9 ?8 K" p; @) j- o" a) _! t
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
5 b8 L/ T( U) w+ q5 rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# {! ~# P" l( k+ ]7 wendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; @0 O' V% M+ A) VTravel expenses not reimbursed.
! O' J6 L1 a' U; }- E- VExtensive courier duties also required. " K G' J+ K& V: W+ \. A; z1 o
3 l" o4 q& @5 i7 a. TRESPONSIBILITIES:) P" }5 Q9 t- c8 x6 w
The rest of your life.
, M8 E, @% ~3 mMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% T8 j, B+ s. w! c/ @* f$ C4 W' D. T: zuntil someone needs $5.
* d2 }" J" N2 rMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( ^/ {/ \' S* ~) C/ m- M5 ^Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule : Z4 p' K. F" h, s& y* U
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 8 S# q# X" Q& b# ^+ x( t" h2 m0 `
in case, this time, the screams from
8 b: F$ ^4 K7 v& W! rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
2 ^' `' K: o/ u/ yMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
& \6 u1 J4 B7 b. \0 C3 O1 psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! H) u6 s) o& Wand stuck zippers. : X* g+ R. L0 J Y r. ?
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 7 X/ } ]" N; D, i7 F& E; v
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 G# A' U; U4 g; {Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. / P1 @" f/ |$ [4 p" V
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, - k8 r* L2 W" U# h- ~9 N. T) K
an embarrassment the next. ' N4 Y) U6 |' R% z
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
# n, |/ m; h) \8 I$ D3 Bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 7 i& j! v5 s5 H) x: ]) N1 z6 a$ G
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
9 G+ B4 X5 \# I0 N, DMust assume final, complete accountability for
6 R! P7 Y4 I+ J: t( othe quality of the end product.
) P. H4 n, M$ qResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
: u% w; }/ z( m0 Z" _janitorial work throughout the facility. % t+ \1 e4 P/ N6 O3 S. g \5 u
' G5 C3 B, N" `1 TPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
% ?8 T, D" C% r4 \None.
+ G6 a+ {" W2 n) ~Your job is to remain in the same position for years, " r- z- z+ O6 I- o
without complaining,constantly retraining and 4 t g0 W7 L( v! C/ p
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
5 Z9 T+ O9 U1 a* a, O* W3 o- Wcan ultimately surpass you.
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, M/ F- [; w& A0 y, q' F1 HPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
i9 |0 G% G& Z" WNone required, unfortunately. " d m8 G+ r/ Y( K3 P1 X4 J% ^: S+ q+ _
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: ; _9 p8 ?$ _$ M9 c+ l
Get this! You pay them!
1 ?0 S! p5 h0 x. x2 \2 h, b) O, ^& E6 s& KOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
" g @" R' ]5 s! w0 i; `" e7 \5 fa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because * ?0 Y: q) E. J
of the assumption that college will help them # G! C$ ~4 U& h& R& |
become financially independent. % G3 Z: ~& t. w- O& A
When you die, you give them whatever is left. $ X% k8 e& C+ o+ O: @# m- H
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
0 J+ b& p/ u3 B! K8 S- D9 cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
' A L# g; C7 ^! P9 ^While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) Y' X1 k9 ]# m, x$ @! D0 Ano tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
9 p i, q% s3 d" Vno stock options are offered,
4 V3 U; B% g. Tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right." ] v% d8 v/ `2 F6 D5 ]
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- Z9 a ?" k0 \5 ^** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **9 q) ]3 Y3 f0 T6 V" t+ Z# X; Y
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 4 M3 A. v) t, c2 r/ X* j3 b, p2 E
letting them know they are appreciated ) h- J! P/ n( K3 ]7 @9 m
for the fabulous job they do... ! S0 k9 T; M) ?0 _9 ~/ Z
or forward with love
3 S1 l# U* R: n" Nto anyone thinking of applying for the job.- N! q4 a8 T t: o* a+ E
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
