 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma * k2 k; R5 }$ a E0 m# ~
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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4 q/ P3 {$ ]: Q, x4 QJOB DESCRIPTION:. C/ [% A; O& `. h+ _! L
Long term, team players needed for challenging,. m! n7 b" R$ N) L3 w
) i) L, H$ c# t7 U! u C1 E5 [permanent work in an often chaotic environment. - B4 y) s1 e: N, r0 w9 Y7 m# f" P& w
Candidates must possess excellent communication . J4 y0 v' R) _9 y; K- x
and organizational skills and be willing to work
$ N4 y" K0 B0 uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends % \4 E: J4 S# b0 f
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 [, b, m- V$ P- NSome overnight travel required, including trips to - }, C. D6 b! X; p6 W4 |0 c0 F1 Z
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and & [/ c( j* s# w! K4 y
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! # E% M3 l3 f5 k& T' k1 V
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
. ^0 q3 m( n- b8 y0 D8 CExtensive courier duties also required. : t6 I) U8 D! u6 ~) l
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RESPONSIBILITIES:8 f6 z& U5 a2 k
The rest of your life. 9 s% t# P+ T7 a$ p7 _
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ! l7 X) w* N0 h& T% v3 `# ^' o- ?
until someone needs $5. 7 K. A2 ~2 |: r' J# {, _
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( T, b: q- C2 I; hAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 0 {" P6 R7 G. g2 |
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
Q7 l/ D7 A6 v3 f2 m$ O/ }in case, this time, the screams from 8 Q6 p3 H4 L- r
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 2 j( K6 I) I# x; s+ {: t. y
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' Y/ `( @6 C$ e' E' `# Q) u, l/ psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 `4 b( u$ X) U8 vand stuck zippers. - {: Z) u7 A" T: J& c" s' \
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 3 b5 \7 y, j6 b- L, _9 e
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. % a. ]9 o$ v% m2 g# j
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. - X2 n5 ?, H- h1 U" m8 J
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, l6 V1 {2 e+ R- Aan embarrassment the next.
& L4 O5 T! }% _$ I, B$ y' ]Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 2 B( \+ Q* ?' }1 Z6 ?
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ; F$ V! {; B. p. P% e! J4 r
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. + I1 o% O' [% r
Must assume final, complete accountability for
, W- f ?; g# i9 D" y. f' vthe quality of the end product. ) [4 U0 M/ s2 u8 D* B
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
% t9 _! U; F; A0 Ojanitorial work throughout the facility.
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9 D& s/ R. F: XPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:. a( ~7 z. R/ l
None.
4 l- f- e% y$ YYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
: p0 Y- l' e! B% j2 M, v$ mwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
* l. V( D) t3 @4 ^. q" jupdating your skills, so that those in your charge 9 V! ~* p8 o0 f
can ultimately surpass you.( z- ]% R# ]& N E9 q3 o# p/ ]
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 8 {& x n! @9 A& B3 Z2 }
None required, unfortunately. . N3 m! Y z2 B0 Q( s! ?* v
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. : [' I1 c) u/ T; r
5 \$ f+ s( k5 ~- G) HWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
2 n. \% P) T4 K& @$ }4 D& hGet this! You pay them! " a8 R# g' v7 c. P
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. + `3 Z2 Z1 E6 A& k. {
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
: m1 c6 [( ]9 R4 I; ?of the assumption that college will help them ! O* a. F( k8 ~' M# _
become financially independent.
1 s+ X: |: d1 Q6 PWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
- @3 c& x: @- H# nThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ) M V, `# h# O+ M; H( {
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
0 c ?# F" S1 c) S3 BWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, - |! ?3 a4 z6 b* `, `
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and " r8 h$ I% s; G. ]
no stock options are offered,
7 y( S" j" g$ A: @- B6 |$ }this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 9 g _% y9 u( k4 a' B
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **# N* ]" P2 {$ ^4 q
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
; N: s- Q6 L5 ^. t% I% \letting them know they are appreciated ' j3 C& ~2 A( Q( y$ Y& ^: o m3 f& d
for the fabulous job they do... 8 O6 R- _1 y$ P
or forward with love
, U/ O* b! m6 Z7 z lto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
