Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
" z# n) C3 Y1 W6 K) j& w- U! pMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
# i4 w+ g8 O4 r5 t9 H0 N! aDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
1 X  l4 ^6 `# E6 A# X" S! s) P8 kLong term, team players needed for challenging,

9 I' {! O/ i% P% spermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
4 z/ w0 ~  `) T! x7 b, r( S0 pand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 T2 j2 O% g" |) D! Aand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 t! n+ ^% f  _endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
' r% L& g- W" u7 m; u/ L6 {" WTravel expenses not reimbursed.
5 Z0 i. n# c; W6 c. Q5 XExtensive courier duties also required.

1 T( y1 [; q' `RESPONSIBILITIES:
+ w; I- P/ x& n1 e" OThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
; u4 U) T- B" J1 k- z3 EMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
' ?# r+ R2 b6 lAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
! ]( i5 @' G" ^, z1 k5 F! F0 jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 d5 f$ p6 t. }$ Qin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
' m% I9 u: S! o& _. `& eMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
0 o% A3 M3 k$ x& Tcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7 X2 y- M8 C% D; hMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
5 S, X- d% _- nMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
1 g1 ?9 ]5 x6 k+ Q6 G6 H: Rhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
( {- Z( I# \' I" ^$ o4 ~# Z9 |the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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9 h8 Y( W0 a4 n1 |, A" r8 ePOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
: x! s% d9 V. c# a( J" A$ NYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
8 W% r# }' S% Q9 nwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ w) ?6 C3 c7 M' Qcan ultimately surpass you.
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  @- B) L: o2 j% @0 Q4 QPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
5 j; F9 E, h" v, o0 p  G7 RNone required, unfortunately.
0 Z5 }9 U7 `$ _! P7 _4 s8 gOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

8 C. T2 I9 h; @; nWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, T. ~% _8 G$ e7 T" b/ UGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; j: \/ P& m- ^: k7 eof the assumption that college will help them
  F% \8 o; K! p1 g' F, C: Nbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
  P& Z! _3 \7 \* AThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
3 L1 v3 c% u8 ^9 P6 Eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
6 n- `" s1 [4 uWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
+ o6 \; u: N6 C' |$ b. \; gno stock options are offered,
4 Q/ [7 p3 D+ Tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
7 ?. p- F5 e0 f" R; j: Y
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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" \9 g- Y% p7 p) l4 d2 \for life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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- e7 v5 V6 @# K0 UForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
7 |' D0 z8 R* D) }/ E4 D% Hfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
: z2 j! A8 e# @. t( N% Q6 P, Yto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.