 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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4 R: \! h4 {& ~% ?/ J, r* qMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 5 o, O/ G" R. y- K* a& Q
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa: G" P# A/ E& K% j3 P" ?# p
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7 I( n+ {) m( m1 N7 EJOB DESCRIPTION:% ]& Z M9 f* g0 X
Long term, team players needed for challenging,0 _' P* S' ^- p1 T3 v
E5 r# C& F. t. ]# o4 d, e5 npermanent work in an often chaotic environment. 0 o) z- d5 _9 A3 S" Z, g9 N- i
Candidates must possess excellent communication
' l! o F% U- Z" W" i) ^, d5 P/ O2 _7 ?and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ ^2 @! H& k& R8 n! O& Wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 5 W4 C4 q2 [1 z" g9 W' n. q
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 x) _ R$ T+ P" x& X1 }5 S8 mSome overnight travel required, including trips to
4 G5 K {: e' S1 Zprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and * y9 t- Z/ r+ s5 }! \
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! % q, Y7 Q/ T! d; p: ]6 @
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
& g/ U1 V! J2 q8 mExtensive courier duties also required.
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* R% W# Y5 P% b! L4 Z* \" DRESPONSIBILITIES:6 L$ p) W0 S( X {) n
The rest of your life. / r; k0 y/ o3 P0 ^! Y+ J M: S! r3 b
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, - H6 M, y4 D, l, j
until someone needs $5.
5 x0 ?0 G6 e/ w% I! MMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. + q/ s" d7 ^4 v, w! H$ Q
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 M- D- @- v0 \. f* Q; jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 0 N* P6 U4 T& x8 W* l/ U
in case, this time, the screams from " {; D6 P M' A: i8 Y) K
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. " A! U2 _$ I7 g1 Y" M8 S
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, L8 W S; q; K) f& \ Esuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
( ]8 E3 D8 q; band stuck zippers.
" W/ Y5 x4 n# `8 F) eMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 4 Q4 a( x$ \! l
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
6 C# L5 q5 [2 s! }; ]1 z* IMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- e7 O$ J- G( ?% H( q6 AMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 1 g5 f3 U$ m. J* v+ K- r8 o6 b
an embarrassment the next.
: j% w. M5 }( Y2 \Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. I3 e! L. y- |) D+ D4 V& Q7 Hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 3 [: _' H0 v& O) D& @: ~5 D4 {
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. A6 P3 u, d( e+ G& \
Must assume final, complete accountability for
. @' y& u; C* B( [the quality of the end product. - d1 o5 v: z' B; m" I( |- G
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 8 W1 H s' F5 E6 l: }
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:3 I+ g* v5 ~6 H a. ]9 |
None. 0 V3 ?; ~) `4 F$ G# ~
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, , O3 ?; c( v! O* A
without complaining,constantly retraining and
1 t/ ]4 U! F1 Z9 D/ @' y8 iupdating your skills, so that those in your charge . p- I7 L. S# C- V7 v1 ?
can ultimately surpass you.: [. v) p# k/ e. O v5 q
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 9 j; y: w4 j0 O3 @; `7 l
None required, unfortunately.
~. X0 `$ J, g0 DOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 d. `/ t5 Z3 v+ g9 kGet this! You pay them!
, l9 C9 i \; R* t- c6 l; @" D) MOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
" @5 ?. h2 h: Y3 F) t4 oa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 5 b* f. g' h6 S! Y" m/ s
of the assumption that college will help them ) k" S, v) D/ u9 m
become financially independent.
5 t6 ]& a$ u" G% R9 l) CWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. # C: r4 G1 }1 n7 u7 R3 \) b
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
5 `# R2 g& Y9 t" D7 o0 P' Qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. ! p0 \% _* j# \" P. ]7 T
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BENEFITS: " ~" M' \, t. D# U% S; d# a: F+ P/ O2 q# |
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
' o4 \" b% L. R4 G6 z1 J, nno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
6 ]: F$ o$ O+ ^+ Pno stock options are offered,8 d2 G: M# n+ k! Q% Z, w
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 2 w! J7 I. y% C! N
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 2 [- @* B+ ]8 F& ~
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for life if you play your cards right.# c/ ~4 |* A3 p9 Z7 E v4 ]; W7 c
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **( s4 {& X& ^: x! b7 H6 J7 T) S" E/ J
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3 r- y H9 o$ i+ Y+ yForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, ) |. u( t3 O8 G2 G
letting them know they are appreciated
. C8 l ~8 H! Dfor the fabulous job they do... 4 C' u$ S, d; B. a
or forward with love
8 {4 j; z4 H/ q2 K: w! [2 J9 Kto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
