Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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8 i4 |+ ~4 l/ _- ]JOB DESCRIPTION:
* J3 @# e6 D: X# N7 R4 `Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
4 b. a+ [9 W: H" a5 }$ n/ Eand organizational skills and be willing to work
9 ~4 J, h: n' W9 U, c( p3 ivariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' q: l( Z( e, H2 USome overnight travel required, including trips to
/ f. A/ M$ @# U& Gprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
5 z0 Q5 e+ n* `Travel expenses not reimbursed.
- m5 L+ A! q$ E  g  @' pExtensive courier duties also required.

+ X9 [3 G1 h0 j' t) x! h! iRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
2 W7 k7 D  o# j, x1 ]- [+ X* Huntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ C, f3 k/ a4 A- X. T1 S9 iAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ ]" X8 l2 M4 O  n$ b9 N3 Osuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 z1 ?" a4 I5 P- |2 P' Hand stuck zippers.
& H7 B6 {+ m! U! X6 W) U# q7 e4 V" dMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
+ e. i+ X- \- B3 `# V& @an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
8 Y% H5 }9 w" k$ `+ d: _half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; J# H8 k; x, E$ w7 eMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
* s1 H# B; Y, d6 K1 |3 p& C7 M8 }Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
8 M0 @/ O# Q$ ^without complaining,constantly retraining and
% O. o5 Q, }' g6 @4 ]6 ^updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& X# x4 T, c3 Q# o  |None required, unfortunately.
! j- [& X$ Q! I! UOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
* Y- u! R. r* s- V. C& m% ?a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
" D/ ?( n4 ?. h7 R) l& o2 ?4 dof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
( X) h9 p- A* H. K4 {5 QWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" V( j$ i% Y' p' Z) kyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

) ?/ W3 D3 ]8 hBENEFITS:
4 c. ?% |' `1 e) b8 t+ v9 ^0 `While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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: B0 c  [1 b& |% ^unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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! \$ W( Q: [$ D. {** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



7 r) W4 z7 W( i3 cForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
4 L; H3 u$ C7 v% g2 e! qor forward with love
( W0 p; K: n! p1 Bto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.