Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
  G' ~9 b1 t+ p. H0 X+ W" a, GMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

( U/ [& e* M- x& f7 y+ Apermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
9 W9 f  U6 W1 Q% _7 {; [4 iand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: {- T. n7 J- s8 A1 N% ~2 tSome overnight travel required, including trips to
* C* d: m1 n+ V$ Q' Mprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: [/ K3 z5 z6 k( Hendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
1 H7 A) V+ \1 N. Y3 w2 c: kExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
- U( Y8 P3 V6 Z; H" GThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
) ^/ ~* R* [; ]" Y" k. X% puntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
; u1 a; O0 f3 m5 jAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; R! u* q- R3 p  E( h" \( D; Qand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
; g# h$ I/ [8 j1 |1 f7 T6 K, yMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 Z# E( @2 z8 |- g0 Csuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
. U! h6 x& U& O  _! P+ G  vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- Z% }+ N+ y% B9 AMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 L. W! e! j2 v3 f4 t6 san embarrassment the next.
( V9 M9 ^/ j4 f( `6 W5 ^Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
! j6 p7 r8 N% g% uthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
& s* S; C' k+ P$ a( i4 L' Yjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
& x) P: B/ b" G2 n, u; ?, tYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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  z9 g! n) [& g/ x& v: f+ @8 }' BWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
: u  H5 B% X3 M: f2 e$ E. q9 GOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
8 r" L2 P% F+ H$ z( l) Pa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
3 x+ j5 j/ x6 Q; m# {0 V, Xof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
. D& m5 W+ U0 |! M( a. _: fThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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& k3 g% E4 O" r, c% o! G  c; }$ E9 MBENEFITS:
' y/ N# R  a! }% N& QWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
& ~  ?: ]  [3 O" P* cno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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4 H* Q7 n8 q. n. C7 Bunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

, s* B* \$ L% x. v: }/ o: ofor life if you play your cards right.
  A8 j# Z5 {% n6 K* Z" M4 x
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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' D6 T3 ]8 z4 e" O3 L" \% N' zForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
% {% ]7 U# b( X. A& \+ jletting them know they are appreciated
( J9 ?0 L1 _5 u( {# Bfor the fabulous job they do...
- _) m# a' {5 M: }/ c: Aor forward with love
9 M6 j2 A9 ~! n, o& r7 Q3 E" }) V! Gto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.