Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
4 B6 S' V- \. N" |, E7 I- ]Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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3 V7 q5 c0 L4 f# x8 M2 z4 e2 `permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
8 ^4 u6 y5 e* @5 H: `: N" qCandidates must possess excellent communication
8 P' v  }9 G4 U, I2 ~and organizational skills and be willing to work
. y; O& u( U9 z/ Z$ Y8 [0 zvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 ]2 O: c3 E* a7 Tand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 Q" x! @* G' g$ ESome overnight travel required, including trips to
7 ]9 s; {' O: P6 v: E5 C. qprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% o0 r7 @+ n) a# W! G( o$ Q( W0 Vendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
/ S5 p6 V, c" ?" z( I$ Y& uExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
1 E0 A/ A" A" w5 j  ~until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
! h, V& G3 w+ G* o. U7 `* IAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  W6 n( r9 @8 _: Qand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 E9 @8 v$ h' t' W5 TMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
0 M8 v4 F/ V5 A8 A: x% S" Asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
/ \9 [3 _* D& Jand stuck zippers.
$ Z# G7 I! Y+ g+ q! P" |% OMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
" L) s/ z3 }9 i* ncoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 y* X. Y% p6 F  M9 \Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 U' @3 N2 P7 J% x( h3 F, o8 |half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
1 {3 v5 S. c. z6 q/ Q' D( C. vMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
' l1 k1 W& S, E5 {the quality of the end product.
6 J: @1 e- u8 o' wResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 `) Z/ h' a5 L! u7 n6 cjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 H6 ], @3 [- h( \None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

; l8 p( A0 r" S* {/ }% Z7 `8 ^. D8 OWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
# ?$ R: X- S0 D5 i  w4 F& sOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 J/ l) V; n- m! `( I" yyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
3 V% J: J5 u- i8 c8 lWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
$ M6 {  b9 n, ~, r7 F* ^8 Fno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
' g. C$ F6 W3 dno stock options are offered,
4 @5 t$ X6 ~2 ?; Uthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* F/ z, e, w1 Wletting them know they are appreciated
0 o7 x' c$ Y" l, Tfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
- d/ }! E! w3 n- ?% Tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.