 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma * s8 P, w! p( p
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:9 b6 w8 P% E* @2 m0 q, v
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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0 y1 B3 B2 @) H) Z9 J. qpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. 6 O# [. O& s% e( G
Candidates must possess excellent communication 3 a! d8 \/ s- F. e3 ?$ t o
and organizational skills and be willing to work
1 n4 v/ }3 i: ^& lvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends " s. q0 a/ l; i9 ~
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' A7 T: f$ l% oSome overnight travel required, including trips to
+ n! p8 c4 o6 m Xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and ( x y" Q, [, D) N3 X5 @
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
! D+ Q& I# e& jTravel expenses not reimbursed.
* y9 C: j5 \* R" q& u$ rExtensive courier duties also required. $ W+ x+ L3 a( \( l' W
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RESPONSIBILITIES:/ W0 S( U' S2 Q1 }* g) G( L) b g
The rest of your life. & c, T, {9 p2 H. F( w& |1 W: b) x
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
y6 Q. W H/ j" `/ ^( f4 N2 y1 @until someone needs $5. ; r) |- _4 S/ L! X: y
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. ( r0 ^; B/ x3 m) C
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule % D6 d% ?' A3 Y% V
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat " O: q. L$ z7 W' I6 ~
in case, this time, the screams from
; B8 v; a# t* R I/ L( Uthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 `$ n' g. [& k% eMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
( `! u/ N7 x1 X% l/ K. ]! H- ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets / r# \$ M2 n$ Y$ W$ U( r
and stuck zippers. ) V5 L5 [ w+ p0 B) Y
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 M: W' ~3 _# o9 `& Jcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' _5 O# [8 _0 n$ TMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. - G2 G: J3 m* s7 O* e; n0 ^
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
% k: y" W; m5 A/ ~+ `( S- Ran embarrassment the next.
" \/ x7 b- E2 J F9 m. d- D6 M CMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a ' |1 `4 g: ?4 @2 X) b& s2 O7 x
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
4 F8 P8 b0 `, Y: CMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
# R$ g# Z/ C; b9 t% y" {Must assume final, complete accountability for 2 Z) _# C" ]$ [9 H5 X! M+ {
the quality of the end product. 3 O4 t; t$ _. a+ K9 z
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and ' C, w+ f0 e& e1 A
janitorial work throughout the facility. # b5 c' P% P, d
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
8 y+ K8 `2 {. ^$ H7 ]" HNone.
) G9 K* r; N& `7 v; k5 I* L, WYour job is to remain in the same position for years, 8 X% X$ ~9 J& s' v! ?
without complaining,constantly retraining and % \" X$ v9 c# L6 }
updating your skills, so that those in your charge ?/ G7 C: ~7 G8 U+ x, _
can ultimately surpass you.# z2 {& L d& x0 {
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$ V0 D) [! |# ~; a W# z: M2 YPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
# r d- [' l) @! d" R2 U/ Q: a4 @None required, unfortunately. 8 C. |+ N8 W$ U
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 8 h/ i: c R- D; [& u, \
Get this! You pay them! ; Y. F% r* d) ?+ p
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. " \, q3 _2 @ ^" A9 d$ h
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ v- y8 ~+ T, o- c, }8 Oof the assumption that college will help them ?8 A# ?3 n L6 V6 ^4 O( P* N; J
become financially independent. 7 V" F4 A4 o1 }/ s: T
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
5 ]2 u6 }2 P6 S# dThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
0 c. g3 O+ U: B# l- f, gyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. * m+ m7 {$ h2 F( o
* o% L" l7 ?$ O4 V" C$ f# w# ?& VBENEFITS: ; t m8 c1 n+ Q0 a5 m$ y2 g( a
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 6 Z; R/ H2 i# B8 z H: c. ]4 q! y
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
W8 \! ?4 }; x) j7 D5 V/ ~no stock options are offered,) `9 Z% Z& G' w7 E! I# R, ]7 N
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 8 u+ D+ N( }+ j, R
P, ^: U' c/ B& uunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 5 I9 G" z/ W9 j+ B0 P+ {
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, / n6 F+ X' @6 C0 c
letting them know they are appreciated
' L+ _- q- _* |for the fabulous job they do... 4 v4 ]3 ~9 ~* p) I5 C2 Q/ ~
or forward with love
9 x- G1 @9 o2 c3 ]( K8 J/ t; Rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.& l ]. `* t O& t2 g: U' o
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
