 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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: y0 g9 |7 l" Y% ]Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 9 x! R6 T2 H, l, @3 F/ f3 A
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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8 q" U$ {9 `5 a; T6 G2 S) h% BJOB DESCRIPTION:
4 D* p% N$ n4 K, aLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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$ Q# \# H' F7 a- N# _! Dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. $ }0 i5 `+ v: q
Candidates must possess excellent communication : S7 ~" _- m8 W! c8 f Q `( [
and organizational skills and be willing to work
7 t4 F5 H: N1 U/ Svariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 D2 V; a$ R6 L& Uand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# e5 G5 w# k8 M) N7 @% mSome overnight travel required, including trips to
2 i- H4 J+ O: O9 w6 _" i3 B, u. T* Fprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and - X) H- G2 f8 m& F7 v
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
# C9 _' m' I2 ^4 lTravel expenses not reimbursed.
; O8 n0 v; s9 Y7 |9 t5 \) n+ |: wExtensive courier duties also required. 4 j6 P( t. J/ V$ i6 a5 L' a# n
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RESPONSIBILITIES:! |7 ^0 C- m1 x
The rest of your life.
( T0 B& j2 [3 O( K# {Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 5 r% h6 l+ Z1 C' W5 T- G5 _
until someone needs $5. , W$ z* @' e6 j
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. - e8 e. D: {$ n. c
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule / m0 ]% M7 U7 A& X' k
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" D2 U+ s$ G& @7 l& ~) r0 din case, this time, the screams from
/ d) H# V y! K. S% r cthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
/ Y- R2 a+ h5 ]6 AMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, & L" T. B- _/ F! n9 Z
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
. J. p( H6 c1 X8 Z; g: m0 mand stuck zippers. % n: M8 A( s4 |0 h6 \ C
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
; G0 G& l8 k; z7 J" [: kcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. % Y; i& c- S" g; B3 u2 \1 ~' ^
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" Z. J w$ j. _' r$ nMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 N& |3 i8 j) b8 c. D3 J0 _' aan embarrassment the next. - Q% {' ^6 z. z2 V" T5 s
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' n0 j- c8 R. uhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ; t+ {7 _$ ?9 H+ F/ w1 U
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 8 t5 Y5 u- U6 _9 m' G i- i
Must assume final, complete accountability for ) C- `; I% ?+ A! Z4 S+ ?6 C3 c
the quality of the end product.
% n5 r6 b( x- z0 f" \5 f5 u; H) ^Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and * F) _- o% w6 ^
janitorial work throughout the facility. ~) P, X8 Z. T4 t3 s
& J& t! j; D0 UPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:7 Y# r: t0 C9 V* L2 A/ k
None. % v5 H. p7 R9 G. G: o; Z3 _2 A+ O
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
& J1 |' D1 e6 {9 swithout complaining,constantly retraining and
* k q2 F8 ^& m# {updating your skills, so that those in your charge
5 j4 x% J- X- s* H4 acan ultimately surpass you.
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& _4 n8 L6 V* A- k6 n9 d& |PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
x# ^; z* p- w4 A) aNone required, unfortunately. 4 I- E" c$ c" [. B. ^
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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. _4 k6 p. N+ s! Q, G cWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 s9 l* g5 J$ w2 ^Get this! You pay them!
: V* J! Q$ M2 gOffering frequent raises and bonuses. - p ]# T" k g7 Z& b! k
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; W* U0 j$ |" Vof the assumption that college will help them
7 S, F3 |, D* f0 S2 Pbecome financially independent. , b, F8 Z% k" l! X" F; h: a
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 S2 u& [& f# eThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
+ h. _; ^3 r* o* T. {7 vyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. # q- R6 R& n, Y. Y
' v. q/ `0 W, O8 YBENEFITS:
Q F+ x- [$ }* c+ Y" P* @While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
# M$ y+ T! Y3 w* `' yno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) ?6 e1 D% W; q( {8 r; X3 Yno stock options are offered,& k9 }2 N9 p1 U/ ^) P- B: G
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, " ]) N/ x4 ?* ?$ O
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 1 [) U4 y1 t0 z! J* ?% H
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for life if you play your cards right.1 L/ |5 e* P- [
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **$ h" [1 @# ~2 D& A* Q
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* Q5 r" n2 t. fForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, & G5 k, P. S @& K: Q. ~9 u
letting them know they are appreciated
+ B" K* f! G, w, u( N0 Tfor the fabulous job they do... ' y5 J% W2 a+ g" T
or forward with love 7 h0 s# a- Q4 F
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.+ R# {, A% D0 S# _0 ]1 A( m
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
