 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 0 C9 \7 O. N( j0 }2 H
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa; `2 W, { T& N* ^* b4 j% y
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JOB DESCRIPTION:. W' X0 t9 |) P& E
Long term, team players needed for challenging,9 Q9 a, Q* P q6 N: {, [: I( n
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 6 Z, Q) y; C- a, J
Candidates must possess excellent communication % s4 \3 _6 W$ s5 d
and organizational skills and be willing to work 8 L4 [0 s) n" n" S& K) a" \
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends : f$ t# {9 f1 ~& j" F0 t( y
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. + s7 K h7 ~# H: f, T9 ~
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
! t2 L$ Y+ p8 R1 H) n' C; d- ]primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 l" i3 s- N: p- jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* Q e1 v2 A, R6 ]' j9 J* M8 OTravel expenses not reimbursed. - B4 ^3 U( A/ L: D' D3 }1 O
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
+ [# j& K# P; N. Q4 l: o) pThe rest of your life. 3 o$ x; r: P4 [9 m3 T
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 9 d6 {- V, e+ N4 M7 R; x( a6 U/ p
until someone needs $5.
/ Y! u) T G5 RMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( o4 Q) b% A) J4 {! ?& ] ?Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ' J3 @/ {' V; o# Y t5 @# m
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
4 ]- n! O7 k( p6 Fin case, this time, the screams from
( T; D- @" ` G8 E6 }the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ( F# G4 @" C" X; @: Z6 {4 h$ b$ C
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
( H1 `/ Q& w/ d: y/ v+ R; Bsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets % W( u7 ]; |, Q/ N$ U9 O0 Z
and stuck zippers.
$ }6 j3 a: a5 a0 b- mMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and , \6 {' p4 ]$ t! W: T3 S3 \
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
2 p6 o# E$ L% \$ b& s. ^" vMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. - r8 a9 M0 ] d+ _- U6 i
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
( X; d/ U& A* G. q$ }- kan embarrassment the next.
S2 a# j7 D! x9 aMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
( p1 M' C' c" V% K. k. l1 f& ?. Rhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. " ~9 R* B# C% ]0 Y5 D. m- o
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
3 H4 S4 e! s0 t+ b/ ~5 f9 [Must assume final, complete accountability for / U) p( l2 V# |5 Q) j! z
the quality of the end product. # R( M+ V+ P/ f
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and $ L, d S* d6 Y% v$ X
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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& \+ w9 a, K; l) KPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
$ @5 a2 \% t4 e+ RNone. 4 O# ~1 \8 P# J& ?
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
- U4 M" i9 d5 ^" D+ p' vwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
. R7 G4 ]1 K8 j- n9 B+ G5 yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge + ~0 E& E# J S9 E* _* A9 R
can ultimately surpass you., t6 E1 U; g% f4 \
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; X- C; K' Z- ^, MPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 K: B* b3 |% x! mNone required, unfortunately. ( Z" O/ l: h+ m x' r2 b6 M
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 6 Z1 B# i1 }7 n3 x( {% J0 Z
B8 }! J, b2 p0 J( o( _% B- sWAGES AND COMPENSATION: " j: |3 K0 h/ A) e7 h( q
Get this! You pay them! ) u+ H- Z5 d# p B8 y: }
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 3 t' H1 W" D% V: G/ K, s# ]2 D# M
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
" I8 I* Y ~4 K Vof the assumption that college will help them + ~! i" H7 W( o/ b
become financially independent.
9 B- }. j6 \( d" bWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. 7 _. B ^ {1 ?, y7 Z( O
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 8 W4 d* t( V: R: Z# C; i- s
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 6 d9 T2 O. h0 v2 |4 A9 {5 X
7 U5 H! g$ J: }BENEFITS: - y$ g x0 T0 z& j% A
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 7 T, _/ A* d. ^. H
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" _1 g0 V, n' N1 b' S1 T0 |no stock options are offered,
; ^- K8 d3 N2 o+ Ithis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, ; N* J# B2 o- l( e8 A$ E* F6 [7 u9 y
9 P0 c9 R+ L n2 `; P; M8 funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 9 B0 J# H1 {) E( H( W3 \ O6 B
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, ( ?" Y: s' \. v
letting them know they are appreciated 1 w$ e Z7 o. e0 _- {
for the fabulous job they do... 7 _: x: n( s W7 P" G/ _
or forward with love ( Y1 }6 ^& ^' m: N+ v) r
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.( I2 n+ J' g. ^+ `3 ?7 l! s4 b
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
