Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
" t, N5 K6 s4 J* s, x: rMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- N& r0 \! J" W7 N3 oCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' h; I% ^, a6 j, W0 g3 vSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
1 j+ i8 U- ~/ }7 c2 Qendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
4 `, N8 l* v/ [. J& UTravel expenses not reimbursed.
7 ^0 S/ w' f* x2 U. C2 sExtensive courier duties also required.
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3 y% K9 W" b: ^RESPONSIBILITIES:
/ M3 j/ q7 s& y2 y% i9 C  m4 E/ M, FThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
/ {$ H: w. [- Q  E# R% N% Vuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
% U' Y: {% Z/ e! Land be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 T7 D3 h9 u! v4 B2 G) W2 T) din case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
4 ?& s) O' ?. Y  vMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
# f' Q1 F5 D% x+ Z" XMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, ]6 ]3 ]1 B4 t( y4 K( [1 WMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
/ D2 X. Z. g0 L; Gan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
4 Z' e/ F* y0 B7 Whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
6 P2 H* y  @! N5 S4 C% HMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 A6 @- |3 M% h- S" ljanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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, h4 {2 M* p: X4 K# nPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
$ ^8 m# D  `8 D& o3 c5 Uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
8 @7 j( ^! F$ Y7 h1 x) {updating your skills, so that those in your charge
' l! n3 |" Z  pcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
, P* `) p7 H1 [On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
% A, j- x; N: Q2 |! ?: r' `Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
* w+ G0 L1 k( N& P( m1 Y2 B3 [a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
- h  n9 D. h; m, Zbecome financially independent.
) h: [$ o( H2 r2 JWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; u+ W; `; I8 J2 ^$ Ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

% N1 m6 t/ c/ I( UBENEFITS:
2 i3 n+ L/ Z( @! B( a! hWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
' H" C9 \" ]" m+ {% K* m' J# jno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

  x( P: N- Z* B, yunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

' a/ `4 |6 n9 z* O& {! efor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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& `( \% n4 z/ z4 R& l: \) gForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
9 I6 @& p, S% ~- Vfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.