Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
3 [4 k  B% A- i9 k
: ~$ H0 b. q6 [
JOB DESCRIPTION:
3 W. z, V9 \+ g/ P7 G5 v, v5 pLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# S' r4 Z" H% bCandidates must possess excellent communication
- O+ B) U8 V+ \8 V, z' J6 _and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
. A$ c# [; i) F& j5 W8 Y" ]Some overnight travel required, including trips to
' O/ m/ h+ k) J( z& L/ A7 ^. @primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
! Y! `8 A  M% mThe rest of your life.
( Q$ H3 u. A  x  a1 l( G% ZMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
! v2 F% t( v* C8 Duntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
7 s9 J4 z) J' a4 A5 |8 w& hand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
# o, O/ \  q% ^+ {# m6 a5 Ain case, this time, the screams from
8 F( e6 F$ J5 X; Ithe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ T) O% R( u  b& O9 b) Dand stuck zippers.
8 h% b# S+ t6 ^$ r. L: SMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# U0 Y5 {/ N/ h- SMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ J% @  ~& f: ^: W6 B, D4 XMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' b0 p6 B/ W9 O" Man embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
3 W, H& b+ H4 B, y- s  s/ z9 iResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

2 H9 d: ?8 ]0 y" S! H. F% EPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 f4 m+ \* h9 `4 I2 t  W( Q  P8 kNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
: [1 y5 E/ F% j! A1 t5 H1 Ocan ultimately surpass you.
4 |! z# U+ C; z% l

. ~7 q8 J+ h" RPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" D5 A% q1 k* A5 @& lNone required, unfortunately.
2 S4 W9 J" A  z+ {' n7 qOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

4 g6 w/ z4 ?" l  l# X' t* h$ QWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
$ I/ K' D5 p$ I& P/ D4 u6 a" Nbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
* a- v% @* U+ Y" o/ x! r! AThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
& B/ ^  _* J- w+ K4 [you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
3 e. F: s+ B3 h
; \6 k6 b' ~7 B, K' u; {7 G( H- v8 RBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
5 U) ^8 c9 o' |no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 n. g" f8 s: B4 ~( Zno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

- J0 C% Y( P! e. A% U- runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
& z( s( j1 g5 U+ ^" Y/ \
  B9 d# _9 w) r% {7 Jfor life if you play your cards right.
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9 k" N5 S% E/ ~9 }& o

, k. M8 z, |# y: O" {- z# ]! ^** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
* {+ P) U; Q: s) e) A% z


2 F  ~9 G3 i* @& D# P) fForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
- _# x' c& q. Sfor the fabulous job they do...
1 v) F) g; Q% P* u7 zor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
2 G" d4 {- [2 v$ U

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.