Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) Q+ C) Q3 n+ c4 x- JDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
, a% M# }5 X: n. @1 FCandidates must possess excellent communication
  p* `. d9 n. n. S' }and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
& [; H5 Y! W# a5 S% STravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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* y; F* T  a  G' ]$ Q$ dRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
: s4 F) d% B- P0 K7 @& J6 P  D) runtil someone needs $5.
% y# j, V) F& ]# nMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& l& j, F7 ~8 e, d; _9 UAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
/ K/ r/ f8 r* n& C; k6 A4 g) min case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" G# R0 h& k# Q- X2 N4 j" tMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  v. h% Z4 C2 |" Xand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# p  f8 e4 N% ]/ {% NMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- h% g3 }3 E5 e" k& v0 g% {# KMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
: E1 ?' e; M. A( m# hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
: a  o4 I' u1 @1 k. r) D  s7 GMust assume final, complete accountability for
0 W( S! `4 R* \0 b- fthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 y2 n5 O' W2 _7 h; B3 w* _janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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5 E: |! H. ]- z* N  G) g; x1 N+ D  GPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
2 Y% K0 z5 h, ^& F& w% i% kYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
6 n9 N+ Y: u6 S) {: zupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
9 X+ N9 }' x3 L2 P/ h7 c) P) rcan ultimately surpass you.

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, Q$ v' |, r* Z, E# CPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 y* X2 c$ V3 m6 ~4 ~Get this! You pay them!
* I6 K' ?9 C3 N) K( lOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
% t3 J" f! Z- U( uof the assumption that college will help them
* m( V' C  Q# u6 F7 L! j% p. e8 tbecome financially independent.
2 ]6 ]: {( j0 nWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
( x7 I5 N; q4 q2 f  H3 E: ZThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
% b" q' f: i% dyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
+ k: ?" d- ^: N! WWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
: i" s- B% I$ K7 P# Mthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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, T/ p" g" T7 ]2 R+ Jfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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4 p8 [: z3 k; w" i6 J1 }Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
% z, l+ t  d' |7 t: {0 f/ W1 Wletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
# ^$ r' l/ }6 r# _2 e9 gor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.