Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
: ~; _7 \* T/ L$ v/ eMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( G3 N3 p6 K, }Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
+ o( R% ?" ?' N

JOB DESCRIPTION:
* O6 ?8 X7 C. l1 k  i- ~/ n9 [Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ W  g1 U6 l5 ]! b' s( mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
6 E" n5 n0 e' a$ ~5 Z/ WSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
& ~0 H. B0 D; O  t* ~2 s0 z& Rendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, B) C/ z1 y- ]: Q! OTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

4 v4 l' U$ B, ~* T2 `3 |! z; IRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
; L0 j; M5 u1 dMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 w+ b2 ?1 `/ O8 d% wuntil someone needs $5.
# I' ?  g" j' l/ \Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
9 {- v. R4 @% k3 d1 m- G) OAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
# U8 y- \  Y( g0 D& d- s0 u$ Xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. F; M7 R# W3 N2 \7 tin case, this time, the screams from
7 r* J! |( C; y$ Athe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
' U4 J9 a$ }5 C: f2 I  P  {Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
7 A' O! X% ]- |& c$ A9 ssuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
+ c# I3 L7 s8 }7 s& aand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( B* U. j& S, @( ]1 C2 ^Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ f) R- f) R) d1 uMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
4 R  p1 Z, ]6 M) X6 M3 A3 e$ l6 GResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
  F% ]9 [2 J5 M% \! B; q6 eNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; E; \( g5 F1 v4 z5 G6 D2 \None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ x2 E. E! H/ v" X3 E) Eof the assumption that college will help them
% j: b) B, A2 R5 D2 S' Nbecome financially independent.
1 `& H$ C  K9 F4 {0 W/ kWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! M  e. s- _" y7 Qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
. }+ E4 Q7 D( qWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% r! |/ g. n1 I" z* e0 Jno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ l5 a* i6 y# Fno stock options are offered,
# ~+ ~0 H+ q, j- \3 I# H* M7 Fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
+ d0 l2 W3 H! z3 x" S# \8 _
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

4 |' b. \$ ?3 x; _


, U: \! P6 F. h! R** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



- B" F" t# f- i; s7 J+ }' ?* BForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
$ I0 `! v3 ]  Efor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
2 s2 q# u9 J. f1 x! T# O
; I6 t" |- k( ~- a' r+ [+ g

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.