Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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* S, E9 }- T: |JOB DESCRIPTION:
' b6 @5 \& A' u( F2 j+ `$ XLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
4 i4 T  c/ J% W. Y6 R* L6 gand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
+ w3 d/ F; N8 Y( e/ x0 w' Pand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
; D! g1 [( P! n7 kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' _2 f* R7 V. j5 ]endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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3 B; H6 O. e8 qRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
, ~3 K7 @+ Q% n9 s$ g7 ]) LAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
+ P$ b8 v. \8 u- T1 w1 ithe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ v" E5 j. x1 Ysuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
& o" m7 _+ d& g2 t. p- _Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ x& D. k3 I8 e/ c$ {2 R# h) Bcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
1 V3 T* y2 X# y/ t8 {" QMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
# p! p( ~3 F2 c( q0 iMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
8 d7 I( l* X! r; S" ^7 k) chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- a5 N" E& V* Z/ q0 vMust assume final, complete accountability for
. Y' w+ u* _$ Zthe quality of the end product.
$ Y3 V0 n+ C, ^4 |( q: _Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 t( X8 q# q* ?janitorial work  throughout the facility.

& K  O. v2 i8 mPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
" S( k; u( }$ O7 |8 @' z% G& u: U, rupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
2 B, x9 {/ g4 C# XOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

* [: f* a3 l  z* ^: IWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' f+ N3 f  |3 w  z: p& YGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
# ^9 \! d0 I& T1 b" |: _% tof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
  b9 u7 p( }8 f" L; [you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

& ]  A5 G# q4 hBENEFITS:
) d) ~, ]' s' l" N6 O* W% WWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ n; J+ Q. ]/ p7 k. P# x$ `1 T* [no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

. T2 Y: q5 V' _$ A0 Q; W: _# Vunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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/ D4 ^7 t$ Y/ P3 u4 \6 n  U. j( r6 K** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ s5 L0 S4 F" B2 J) n+ hletting them know they are appreciated
' B# O0 @4 K% c4 h( qfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
$ i& K8 a) L. X3 c0 M' d9 P* A) H* gto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.