Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% N6 u2 S+ o8 P$ u! gDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
6 y) A* m& R) ?: ^6 A. aLong term, team players needed for challenging,

9 v! x/ e' \/ O# {2 B1 Epermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# D7 k5 p7 I' @: M+ G; V" MCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
# L% G9 f+ D! Y, p3 Avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* ]: H1 ?; U6 y8 L1 h. i# \and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- l+ P. |* U- _9 ?" k" OSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
6 D+ j7 N$ @, K2 Q- p/ u
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
* k, \- z+ j0 ~Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ c0 G% D5 _8 v5 q7 ~Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
' d9 ?4 c/ o" N$ {7 ~the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
4 o+ @. J0 m3 |7 ^1 l' M7 M" aMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ A5 p- j+ O6 Psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
; y5 N0 e7 \) b7 v2 h7 _$ G- mand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
2 w. |* |& K" vMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% P$ m/ B$ a. _; Q' {5 ?8 vMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
7 e5 j1 w  N3 `0 f& jResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
  o+ r4 b4 W& J5 S% X7 V2 fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

) D7 ]4 d( l) B7 P2 g- L% ^9 }1 HPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* m' u  h: Y: ?9 f" W2 z) g# V6 Kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
0 Q5 r# r" E  Q, L. p3 a3 d% Nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
2 g3 h* V, m  t2 g' cNone required, unfortunately.
! g$ @8 h# a2 D/ EOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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7 B4 f0 {) @/ T9 EWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ h) r* X+ B7 H0 x, aGet this! You pay them!
1 s. z; U, F& ~5 j9 Y8 XOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
1 b+ @: u7 s3 ]" `4 i8 la balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
' H) Q! o% a1 v. G* NThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

5 T! x+ O7 @+ g1 o" _5 `* e, TBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% c, \) U$ y2 |% B6 C. p; eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( L7 Y+ R# l6 vno stock options are offered,
5 d) r& Y  o* R; a$ vthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
' k; j$ n9 Y& _+ k6 B( h1 x. Q
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

( x  P# y5 @- F5 W6 Efor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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9 a# A0 T: v0 T  VForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.