Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
& X# C4 [: V+ |3 nMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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) Y9 _% r- L1 J+ dJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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* v: o2 c) x5 i, I5 ]4 z3 w( [% ~permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
+ ]' f! g5 N3 ?, oCandidates must possess excellent communication
3 _& x% B1 i+ xand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: @1 @! b0 e/ x' e/ V. Pand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
/ s4 |4 `& R) Y/ M0 g! L' ZSome overnight travel required, including trips to
1 ?  e. Y9 P( Q) U  y. ^) M$ ^primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
7 c  F9 p+ N; J  k6 O, OExtensive courier duties also required.
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* X7 @$ @! R0 [7 Y! W* {3 q  d  M8 FRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
2 q% w" l9 [/ o- w/ cuntil someone needs $5.
, w+ `* w  o( y6 x8 j7 \% `Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 i" c2 K1 U6 c8 [1 ]  ~' WAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 B. j. {- Y  _  A4 V+ b3 P7 land be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
  w/ n+ B0 Z% _# p$ ^8 N8 Ain case, this time, the screams from
7 A9 z$ |$ c7 F0 ithe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( E8 ^  \. J1 k' x# @* i1 R6 W- pMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
. p1 p, F, t& k. nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
1 i6 e  @4 f; A/ rMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
+ C! l0 d; z8 G* o5 acoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  i' \- ~5 F# G' |% ?! c4 V( Tan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 a# k+ i% i4 D$ G, dhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
) C7 h% l8 U% YMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
" d! t) y$ Y) W2 e+ jResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
  P/ W5 T% H- u) X5 g8 B% Gjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

$ V7 u* W- j  r" N  c1 d5 ZPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( Y9 m( h# J% e/ W7 g" WNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
1 g; H) t2 t$ `9 w- ]7 rwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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/ q- b3 o  U! iPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ j0 h! M: B$ NNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
, {" U; t$ c: e) P- ^5 F* y3 Ua balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& u3 k# T! Q+ e5 R0 A: q& Xof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
2 }( V% Z, W1 R1 FWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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3 F! Q$ E" Y! @+ K  [! tBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
' c' c7 |' J# r5 K4 ^( A/ d1 zno stock options are offered,
! U: y' x: X' v9 X5 M' {8 z  u. Xthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

6 w9 i& v0 u8 J/ Lunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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* s1 R4 ^0 T# y) }, D** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
! M) R/ ?' L  Sor forward with love
1 P/ T6 E% X" @* H& O" Yto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.