Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
0 [5 M$ E( v9 j3 X4 lMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
1 ?) N- Q6 B7 F6 c/ `8 e3 r. lDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
% O0 w* [  V1 ~) k( H1 z# L3 ^Long term, team players needed for challenging,
2 |) b* u" x. p+ I5 D- Q- s$ P
- }" R* ^$ ^6 {- Y- Z. ^/ fpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 O2 W' m: J2 h6 M. S% m; D+ aCandidates must possess excellent communication
1 Q) z. _5 t- A; w7 `and organizational skills and be willing to work
- ]' V; u% i" r; Q$ Pvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: M9 P9 Z2 ~# Cand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
9 y+ s% D- e0 \4 Z# y6 [# HTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

# {4 S/ O$ ?7 `  ?0 |RESPONSIBILITIES:
1 \7 A0 M  @: z5 s4 ?8 h0 MThe rest of your life.
( t7 k# h- p# q- |Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' Y+ j, h2 I+ ~) yin case, this time, the screams from
& F5 r; S# \" A9 S* f) {. `# J% Athe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 x2 R" u  {& ~$ K) j, psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' Q( q$ w5 S! P6 u* |- a; W$ @) Vand stuck zippers.
4 G  y5 R& W0 UMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
2 |7 ^& f# g* t9 j& x; d! hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ R+ n1 V% W2 `; C$ Q- CMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
7 N3 T# F6 }- I. X5 `4 }* QMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
1 {- c$ @5 h, ^  Q; {6 \" jhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. L) G- y0 p% J+ O3 Q2 u2 ~/ ]4 PMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
( I) s1 O7 U" {2 Z& Pjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
1 f+ U8 G: M. {
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
5 T, u: K: C% `4 n4 [- e4 {' Y8 WYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
+ M! z" M( ]0 [1 @5 V9 ]8 V) H. rwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
; {  T; M6 M* @updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
7 p' H: E4 n$ T9 [( |# G3 kNone required, unfortunately.
$ q. S( B0 y8 m4 O9 b9 t9 dOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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: W0 O; q! I' {! Z9 b  T) s* X/ VWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
- Q( T/ I4 \2 y5 s$ l' N; A# WGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 R' T( ~9 x* D% la balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! E2 z5 j/ S# C- L1 Wof the assumption that college will help them
; _; z1 P+ y1 w' ebecome financially independent.
5 h$ H! l) N) g8 R# ^When you die, you give them whatever is left.
6 n8 b2 V3 M; s& N* LThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( O" ]0 }4 c7 t0 ^( _you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

9 X5 f0 {5 B/ O% Z0 _. qBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 {' t+ p7 N! A% P& \no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
. ^3 @" X, `1 uno stock options are offered,
' Z1 L) Y/ R$ [0 Ythis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


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8 U( C" s4 y- N* [& t' l/ T# T% K  N- @3 @** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
0 j$ |1 ]" t- O5 I, Qor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
& [  j* z& O' B- E
# R5 W% S+ V% ?  n0 p1 ^/ x

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.