Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
2 P3 g3 A5 {: I8 ]  MDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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9 U) ~# f$ k# z2 S$ T: FJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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7 d" N9 q, T4 j; C( j4 h  Gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
8 _( u! S/ a7 |  i" n/ e4 A8 [Candidates must possess excellent communication
8 L# `: C  R) ]7 eand organizational skills and be willing to work
( j- N  j1 N6 C# Ivariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 ^: ~9 x& K1 yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
! H7 k) d) D5 M+ P7 r9 h# nprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  t; a0 m. w, S$ q' f1 V, `. UTravel expenses not reimbursed.
0 [' D0 s8 B" }3 ~% }0 mExtensive courier duties also required.

% P7 _9 M* x& Q$ uRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
2 J7 i6 u  u# w/ `# V# EAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. B! z1 _+ i, S, ^4 a/ iin case, this time, the screams from
" s9 ]3 g: F! rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
; P3 o$ r# k" {Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
" e2 c4 Y" e' V6 ccoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, a* |& K3 b6 d6 P& DMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
& z0 S$ ]% O( t1 }5 NMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
) c9 s: S! g1 Ran embarrassment the next.
5 W# z9 G3 O/ z) q# [Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! J7 e3 I2 O+ @2 [7 cMust assume final, complete accountability for
# ^3 L6 p, k7 y+ F0 @the quality of the end product.
7 {* b$ O! `( j" T# UResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
3 b* f. a+ Q) p. v& |( I, UYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
  k. k8 @. w8 L3 a6 @- Xupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


8 U4 o2 V" O9 d' d* K& iPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
' m2 X* \, X0 D2 G' b+ T& V& aOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 H6 {, I: F' Y( R# V* aGet this! You pay them!
, G% K* {4 w" b2 k' M' S& e( O/ {Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
+ V1 E' m0 L3 L2 q* P3 u# g8 X% T0 Z; Ia balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
, ?# L" P, T) ?" }; z( d, T; mbecome financially independent.
9 O  @5 f, l% I% c+ V6 y$ mWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
, @, @7 U7 R# j: h" e9 wThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
5 ^5 h4 r+ U" vWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 U, s* u4 y4 B- x+ S6 ~8 cno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
2 L3 F5 t5 z' z# ^this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

* Q% i1 u# ^2 n, Funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


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4 p9 Z5 O0 p6 h% ?** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
% r: [6 Y0 \! v( {6 Zletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
; D2 P0 m" s, p0 |1 Kor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.