Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
5 s% C9 d5 S" i: c  V/ L% E- d( PDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
3 a- K) {7 d3 F8 q0 L% c% s: RLong term, team players needed for challenging,
2 ^1 d( v8 S! \4 D" C2 ^
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' x4 T% ~1 ?  r/ X# a8 _+ ~2 YCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
. v+ d: @( H" }$ i$ H; x- [variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
+ x$ O% ?$ u( B4 tand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
8 l; Y# Z1 `( Z- sSome overnight travel required, including trips to
" N; ~" w8 `# ^: H" b# G6 y, Jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
- Y' P4 ?# ?2 q- H  l" GTravel expenses not reimbursed.
$ J5 N1 u# @) l) u8 H& B& ~Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
2 r- q: h5 S+ j! q: W, SThe rest of your life.
* g% W) d0 X) V  f( n" oMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ B! V$ R- t( u; g, w0 a, N: Tuntil someone needs $5.
" l' j) y/ R& CMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 h) ^% }: H2 [. O* [0 Gand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, d% o5 @4 ~9 s# g; ^1 C* Zin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
& i1 d* b% t( @4 DMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 T4 n" p- o- X* ]: e4 x8 Dand stuck zippers.
+ w3 e- f* p1 {/ \- W2 xMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 U4 t" [2 C1 t& W  r: Q$ v) Dcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
; _+ T2 @1 h$ ^Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
/ w! q: T7 V; q3 AMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
$ e) u) m+ |. t7 e) ?- t) E) IMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. m: G- v8 N8 y3 d6 ?Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
( d8 ^* k  u& ?- }Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' A- B# U& Y3 wjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

( f! T4 ~) M) [POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
7 r: m1 S$ r* p2 E0 f: I! Uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
& q) L0 f$ Z8 ]& _* x8 m$ \$ V* q5 Wcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
7 ~% O) s2 S# @$ \None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 D9 {, q+ J+ k4 b, q+ ~a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
0 j$ G9 ^6 d& `( ]) q' ?of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
& F: Q: V2 V* D# U1 g0 `7 TWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
6 L5 t7 b- P9 g+ h3 _4 iWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
- T( y7 o( n  C( Hno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ ^+ x2 \  Z  U: Jno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
+ B3 {6 ?0 B- [# jto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.