Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
0 o1 S/ r& g; x$ H; @% wDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

! Z7 E9 f$ \' w
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
; j: {# {% N0 z3 e0 c& [
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" Z" u4 v, u- K( S) kCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
  Z2 Y  y% q. B. Dvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
+ R0 y! h: e; U# |, d/ W0 }* sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
6 @# L' E8 l9 W, g7 @
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
: N0 R% n* E6 Z& T, d" sMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
: {( [6 R4 E6 R. kAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' p$ a4 {8 x& Jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
* Q9 q+ ^  l) C4 x5 i+ {; Lin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; {+ p! M3 U& M% |such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
" E" M) u) ?2 ^8 gand stuck zippers.
& @; B, U( i1 m: p2 n% W' [* ~Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
8 V4 r) x6 U( f1 W$ fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) e( L3 I( Z( k9 w7 Z& h" |Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
; D" k4 p) y' q2 K0 x: S5 v! ]" YMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
/ i0 q/ M+ U4 \- o/ Uan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
3 _$ y$ N6 L$ `the quality of the end product.
" ?' b5 m3 N: Q7 C9 ~# ZResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
4 {3 ?( K0 @0 r7 T$ R0 O
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
7 w* I6 P! x+ k& H  _% j, [9 @Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
2 }, r! L" S. t; b! l2 ~without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ L1 E$ x! ~, j& a0 R+ B" SNone required, unfortunately.
  g6 n9 L0 h: u# [- tOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

; B( N3 \9 ~' t( W1 ~" s; G+ K- TWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
' U# e- f0 r- [2 q# FOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
4 l5 T% Q, X& K  H+ s) WWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
( l( }3 Y7 d+ G2 J$ a6 ?1 hThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ b3 H% B5 ]4 vyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
& }( t) w: |4 e& x2 K& k
+ Y: _4 I1 Y' YBENEFITS:
6 P; Z* n' u) q) D- `. i4 s! g  tWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* l9 U. J8 z$ f& b+ gno stock options are offered,
* |  B) s* c7 e( n6 D3 S1 W2 A; Zthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
4 A/ F: U: S3 |, O9 `+ E
/ A: J3 N  v$ E2 j* P; junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
0 |( {3 R) m3 S' i
; u0 j9 S; p! `) {for life if you play your cards right.
' Y  ]' M. T' ^' h: }3 K8 r1 \
; T) ?  g* E+ f$ i) A. a( I

* k; |# U4 f- ^# L0 `3 p1 J
% p" R) g  F# T' N** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
! s# \. z6 R; k2 A+ v
, d: y3 Z$ V6 e- P2 Y/ O0 i
0 |& A6 Y# E& t) |- {5 J
# E2 C3 y4 K$ j- m- [Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
  I. m( [6 @$ L' s8 q& Ufor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
% f/ r8 t) c9 I: {! _$ lto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.