Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) G- e. F- ]1 G# eDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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" }1 f; B; p" i- SJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

6 i  D7 K1 C3 Q+ \' Qpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! B, r# g1 `4 C. jCandidates must possess excellent communication
) p% z  t% d. Oand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; M5 \9 |# F  b" e. X, I1 @: HSome overnight travel required, including trips to
; S; c. h& w! U- n; C, B! Rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 j& N, w3 b5 Iuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
+ T# |$ E  ?4 gand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
0 G+ i1 j  E% T. Xthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
8 ^/ O3 z  O: x) i- i* Q; asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 B7 p0 Y+ N+ {! wand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
  N4 L0 n- I; c2 w' A" Hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, X/ O. P4 }- \3 V( WMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ C# |( \' k, `. hMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
9 N4 K8 k# Q8 w* Y1 iMust assume final, complete accountability for
* Z# c5 \5 u3 L) [( ]the quality of the end product.
, n8 G4 M* A/ U+ D& f9 v: Z* EResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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3 i4 ~" N7 _! G: n' R% l0 F% D, MPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
+ w" M- T, M/ _0 R! c9 TYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 M9 b, ~% O0 h' bwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
) @1 t( {3 ^1 v, V/ B7 ^can ultimately surpass you.


* J) @- _( [% w$ N$ O& ^. I8 LPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
* m; E' K- `7 F' LNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

  T; C2 H0 L+ n3 V& m' nWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
1 t0 E% X3 G, Q) o* I4 QOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
, B/ y( H% @% M) j' ]" ^a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
- ~9 [* c! m' ^4 _) y3 {+ tbecome financially independent.
0 n6 j# L- L* K- NWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! r7 ~% u7 R, q$ e; |! B- U% ^you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
7 s5 Z, B: |3 o* l# k+ FWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 K, v% s- }- u6 U% |no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
, n! o' T1 ~8 G$ H$ B, U7 h9 k! ino stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


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5 w! ?. [; V( ~+ ~** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
: m/ G; t$ e9 z5 P# D- K3 j% qletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
% {8 @2 |" R# k6 |6 Bor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.