Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% S+ |! {" R; [6 pMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
, a3 v# `9 Z0 I3 x; O, B

; `4 a) x+ o9 _/ T% {- M+ sJOB DESCRIPTION:
; l0 \, \  K" o1 J1 @Long term, team players needed for challenging,

/ e. M9 H3 Z1 R' L- @permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
6 h5 E/ C2 F; KCandidates must possess excellent communication
% s, ^/ l1 ^, r- o+ e1 Oand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 I! l: _) B' oand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# o/ ~  J. V& YSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 _( s8 p3 |1 d$ Fendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
# N% h. X0 q; [4 A- ]2 ]Travel expenses not reimbursed.
5 c, r  H/ r4 y, y+ FExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
6 s. Q# M( M& EMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
# a) S9 _; v! K) h6 u( \2 OAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( d% e5 J) I- O9 v. aand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, K, |: P6 Q; s; z6 M; o- k& j+ }in case, this time, the screams from
, `& l% F* i( Q$ z9 athe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# F" D0 E" [/ Z# V" J, Osuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
/ [7 S2 h* Y2 |0 SMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
* Y2 k* o5 T; e- A- Q* ~7 |Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ |5 H( w! }# ?0 F* f3 X* D& aMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
$ k; n$ c4 {0 yMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
6 M/ {( T5 o9 nhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
" w1 {+ R$ I2 [; w& @Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

/ @7 y5 Z9 i2 _0 B" D. ]POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* r0 \0 ?3 [# W9 E) ^, Fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


6 L1 Z3 }0 a) z% iPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
0 N: C( F7 y3 o" m2 R; VNone required, unfortunately.
8 l5 \& B6 F( t) uOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
! q% ]# J0 N- w/ n9 j
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
4 u: `# j- |1 r0 x0 fa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
& z* v7 Y- S6 M' S5 \1 lWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
+ K, D; j% x. s: SThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" F8 b, ~7 l8 Dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" }1 t5 |$ C. p8 Pno stock options are offered,
9 G# m: z+ U( X. ^: ], Vthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
2 x: @* E, t9 m5 Q8 H
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

" g5 t, R5 m, b8 v& O4 dfor life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
: T% M8 E6 Z8 c- A/ H% qor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
5 \+ s1 P, \, c" c; {" v

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.