Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
7 `3 Y( Q# F# [0 ]Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
6 l& _2 t9 N* L: {! o" z

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

7 O7 _* v9 G2 S+ q6 |# Gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
/ ^$ H* ?6 g; X5 ^and organizational skills and be willing to work
- ^) P) f! t( {$ P; kvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 b& J- }* x/ g4 vSome overnight travel required, including trips to
# q* J) F2 _6 _0 J, c5 X# Gprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
1 f6 {) ~- H2 o& Tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
/ |& P" r% B9 n) I; ?6 y, {7 @Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

6 ~4 O! p! ?+ f2 @. `RESPONSIBILITIES:
& J" G. v9 l- L# n- h% u- pThe rest of your life.
" i" R$ U0 |) `) CMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
' z' n. A& t/ L/ d3 f" H: X' R) {Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
6 Z  B% ]. P) r" DAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* Z7 s9 w& i3 u! P- Q1 s8 d5 q4 Aand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
4 S$ p7 \( ^- O0 Zin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( ~, A- C8 g. l' Y! Z- zMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 ~" I) @1 t# }coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 h$ L5 t7 Y+ M" Qan embarrassment the next.
. o3 U5 O/ w# j, VMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
8 |2 P; F3 w% q1 R* Uhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
$ s4 V6 N# t& q+ \( Ethe quality of the end product.
# I3 V5 `  n6 A7 w" a1 o5 jResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
! g! N4 G6 ~" w0 e: e- xYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
/ @  J* C3 @5 X- \updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
/ T7 _: ~' ?' N( S. a6 S+ `

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
" S' N7 o, p: p/ pOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
. o  ~3 p3 W( |# F% R: L& j. U
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, L+ K: R# z/ t* c/ LGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
) M: f- V8 M* g# S. |- Ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
; \: b6 T/ V7 b* n' gbecome financially independent.
' |, s+ o9 \3 I' @0 M, UWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
' j! A3 X' f/ l% |The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
  w3 P3 ]: j' ?/ X
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
. i, X; |% P4 H! athis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
! {' h8 H' F5 F1 t, S- I* z+ e% R* B
3 n. C* a0 ^6 Tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


$ {9 u. B1 J3 W( G

( @$ B& I, @  g' S, T** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


; H* i1 L: v5 f7 F& ]1 R
  W1 U0 i; o# Q9 r1 j6 i/ hForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
( g/ R! u  j4 B1 x8 s* Pletting them know they are appreciated
2 g7 r  h7 d7 q7 O$ j9 U3 Jfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
$ f0 I3 q, _/ jto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.