 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
" l' C# T% B7 h1 V$ VDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa* M; S% _9 E3 k7 E: x
; N3 l2 I# {) S" V. h
1 R4 y# T+ f% p8 o9 e% d+ f) A
JOB DESCRIPTION:) V# z* v( D1 O& Z3 E1 A* h5 s a
Long term, team players needed for challenging,) M! |) K3 ~9 j1 e2 F9 @ L
: a) D7 D% m( d! {permanent work in an often chaotic environment. % p7 Y, F3 q6 r1 ]+ U
Candidates must possess excellent communication
. k) B' b5 r4 l5 d% Y% y- Y/ x/ tand organizational skills and be willing to work 6 \: l3 v4 U K( J
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 D3 n" I6 x: z3 {! s* ~9 Uand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
1 a& H8 j2 H" S; ESome overnight travel required, including trips to * d$ {) E8 [0 Y2 \1 o' G
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and . t0 q) q8 _$ h( B; r9 Z
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
3 q, P: p6 e, F5 \1 y, }- DTravel expenses not reimbursed. & X6 M1 k; F- a* K
Extensive courier duties also required.
; d& H( ?7 j5 m C
4 b9 c& @& \( Q/ j6 ]RESPONSIBILITIES:
; j, W; |: _$ k0 x2 ^ u+ X: |) ^3 BThe rest of your life. - s7 F" n5 d ~% w, l; q
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ; U4 W7 H Q$ ]) D
until someone needs $5.
- S+ z) T! t; [' ~Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
3 L% |0 ]+ K: T( w z! X5 C0 ^Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule - u, o, U' e. z! c( g
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat . z" \8 E3 c4 a( _) N
in case, this time, the screams from : k$ }4 S$ v" n+ j6 J
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. : q& Y) x- z9 J( N
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
3 u; R4 {) z. {' g+ @such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets & j! Q/ G# G: w9 B% m1 j0 e Q
and stuck zippers.
, V# n: S2 G" T6 f) U; oMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and - Z, E& e! O5 p( Y! Y
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. " ~- I4 b8 T3 T0 J q
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' d9 m: {2 N2 {" m6 o$ ?Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, - b+ i3 U3 K( `; W# S+ U8 B: \ C) h6 r
an embarrassment the next. : u, I4 V' D2 P, a& y
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a , |( O% f. b5 K& r
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 9 o& J& l: C, K& h8 p4 B7 R
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
# y, s2 d+ g3 E" ^Must assume final, complete accountability for : b: E. h' F) ]; B" S
the quality of the end product.
* \" i0 q+ K; G+ M3 z# B& l4 SResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and ; j, ] i7 M3 X2 ~( p1 g, u5 _
janitorial work throughout the facility. ( R: ?8 ]) ^" ]8 p7 I
* Q8 q/ q6 T7 M& }POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
) b' A0 m4 \- V. g9 ]% rNone.
; u2 T8 M! @8 ?2 mYour job is to remain in the same position for years, 4 Q+ L4 a$ V) X% L+ _9 l6 h- K
without complaining,constantly retraining and ; E/ d1 V. W- w( R! }5 p0 T5 i/ V
updating your skills, so that those in your charge , E" Z6 [* l) i; \5 e3 ~! @
can ultimately surpass you.
+ E4 I, J* j& X W4 m7 C2 S4 s) x% A4 @6 }
$ t+ x+ A/ W- K- I8 @+ A# CPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: / ]; k. n. g8 u6 A P- n
None required, unfortunately. ) | m- r: l1 S$ Z5 ~4 ?6 ]' _
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 6 g- K0 l0 N9 m7 J! M8 {! k. h
9 X2 {! p% i6 _- L/ b3 W
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" i5 H3 D, h: p4 h& A+ _! xGet this! You pay them!
+ S0 ?# o/ v8 B* t# W$ IOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
Q9 m+ Z, X* q e" Fa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) a5 V" U! x" H" z0 m Rof the assumption that college will help them
' o ~; Z3 }( `) w" _become financially independent.
. U- t7 H* T4 K! g: W c7 Q6 ]When you die, you give them whatever is left. ; C! z6 u) I: m! ]1 T$ S
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 8 S/ `0 w" w- g0 p/ p) b4 {6 Z
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 3 J5 W4 A t* l6 i/ F
9 Z6 c/ w; U) g! \- K L$ T
BENEFITS:
9 _% N2 W: V# S) T7 X2 w+ l$ nWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) l) y- [5 Q# D, {* T/ f0 e( Bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 l: c0 J0 s: W5 `& G. K# ?no stock options are offered,8 X) e }: ?2 b1 f0 f) J5 I! I
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
! e3 R0 \ j1 w+ u6 B' G8 S, t! Y8 m/ S0 f* @3 S0 n
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses & c8 }/ n0 b) ]$ ]( X g
5 t4 |3 \& ~# _0 I% K Xfor life if you play your cards right.% i0 `- j1 P( J4 ?/ Q
4 _/ g1 G& X9 I5 N3 n
' ^1 c& i; ^$ x
2 S$ Z( H! p/ @: L1 p X8 f
& V% S2 d5 t, w l' U X1 N
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **' y1 h1 R0 K6 [: \3 a% o5 x, S
) d3 s4 ~* q! S
% f8 Y% r4 u7 u& a* d) b* l3 s% B0 S2 p0 D/ J: J
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, ! E) M7 U) ~9 D- J2 Q( h
letting them know they are appreciated
/ ~$ p9 h! k1 N0 q' t5 _ _0 _for the fabulous job they do... 4 T) w% ~$ l: e2 j
or forward with love
/ ]' W. N5 p; U) T- X2 M8 Zto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
1 K; f# G& `7 ~
- a. \1 ]" l' Y$ _% p |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
