Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
# X6 O, L5 {- Z: j% S2 @1 [Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
5 b8 V  Y/ Q7 s% |/ P& O# L! EDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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! W0 k1 Q) |9 b! W) S  ]JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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' D9 {& q& y8 N: Fpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
( D. `; y3 E+ r/ u- Nvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) H% I- E( I$ C3 Aand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
: p% L& |% k* rendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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" N( n2 c1 z2 u1 N# rRESPONSIBILITIES:
- U3 ^5 y3 ]$ |* R1 RThe rest of your life.
& N! ~; z% ~& W) DMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
, T$ _1 ?: N6 j- o" N: m8 |& Z5 rMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( x: z8 p! w) p  tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% N' Y; X( ?2 r! T' k% u2 q! ?in case, this time, the screams from
5 \" S1 s) p) b0 l! kthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
5 a$ I* `' R7 Q* gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  A" Q& P: a# m! j, R" n+ h% d( ?& i. vand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 O  W) b' f" ?) Gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' ^- U2 W; r: |* }3 V4 w  NMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
) C! R  u" h; Y( g& G$ eMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
& j; B! b4 a5 u# S% V" t1 u- L& hMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
% s0 S( w3 q3 E0 Tjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

! F, f& @' n& `" T3 |+ y+ ~! _3 LPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
) ~. p! V4 l  K) X: s) U. a/ RNone.
/ J$ k) q7 g" a% y4 o# ~Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
! J8 m7 ]' h4 K0 n- a  B3 _4 Ywithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
8 i  I( e3 s+ _, Qcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

' {" m2 {* i# N$ i/ P: s5 vWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
( @# J% W  v- kOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; L+ O# E/ e  p9 F  |5 ~- K) Lof the assumption that college will help them
+ z6 {; y$ I: o" v! ?become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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% O2 m, r4 Y, J: i1 a# o6 e+ jBENEFITS:
( w1 m0 h1 j5 c3 Z8 n2 |While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
- y1 G( Y. C7 H6 X5 D' p) ?no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
) `7 K( B' W! I# z, p7 Z' x3 qletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.