Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
" }! a. d: x# |. bDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

$ K6 W- z" E+ V& j2 z( y6 g) w
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

! R. w- q9 [6 e* Zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 A. z: T/ k7 M5 i. I. zCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
. t2 x* m0 e6 P6 N$ P  X9 x! E/ p' kSome overnight travel required, including trips to
+ ]4 x9 i" F% W$ m) }6 p" Sprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
/ {; c" M: {! T$ ]' ~endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
- U- q/ X3 u; i) T( PExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
2 G3 Z# [5 c* G+ M: c" j9 FThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& Y7 @0 u. `6 F% x+ X! M, X; }5 guntil someone needs $5.
/ {4 L0 p9 O1 B& oMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
# y$ K! ^7 f# X/ n3 tAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
5 s9 X+ M  v( z9 m* U- zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% R8 t! R9 G5 q* Tin case, this time, the screams from
+ G. E7 y& {/ c. Nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
. R8 }% Y( d- T+ {/ MMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
( y4 M+ `% v* psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) J9 s4 \- ]. Mand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# `& U" T& Z0 C, n2 J" t+ hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 H- N6 U' m1 x% B- W6 jMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
+ Z1 F* r, E: h7 K4 ~Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
3 ~. f- t! i) D8 }' U6 ^half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
9 i9 ^" q7 `* rMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
' X7 W3 `; |8 _# p! A% W6 }Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 d' ^1 m6 ^5 D- djanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
, b& T6 N, h1 `9 q8 B- HNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" K" V, F% ?9 o  ?7 UNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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) n; Y: w9 O  n4 D. }8 ^WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
6 F" G& j) |3 e, [8 N7 XGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
: l) R9 L+ w9 Ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 V6 @& ~* l0 A8 }8 b/ vof the assumption that college will help them
5 H3 Q, B+ d, w& Q& p' Mbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! r# s7 u, {. B4 v$ E( j3 vyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
- X7 ?8 a1 h1 p; K9 `3 Z
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" v- m& k) K: S; M5 [+ c! ano tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
9 M1 J: ?4 {  ?1 C% m; }% s0 l2 H
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
/ S* X6 R1 J; L7 d! |3 Z
) x& ^# P2 Z0 z3 F$ Hfor life if you play your cards right.
( F. t9 m- h3 e
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+ V5 ^2 [7 h* s. w) ^, _7 Z
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



) T1 D; d$ H/ T+ V+ K  ^Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
& i+ H; Y7 E: F1 l& T+ Efor the fabulous job they do...
  Y& B" ?' b' N+ Y4 uor forward with love
3 F# U$ y& w" q' c; `# x' I! dto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.