Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
6 S& `+ F) Q1 T7 ]  z$ {Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
- R/ E: R& m- _Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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6 l( q: m# c, J7 C) ?JOB DESCRIPTION:
2 k& [/ D* d% W. S' E% M* hLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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2 U& `3 t( l. k" dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
+ Z6 h' E' {* y+ @7 T8 E& l) Uand organizational skills and be willing to work
9 w8 l8 D; n' dvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
* d5 @+ ?& d- N8 @7 Q0 Bprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
9 v2 _) I2 `2 a) s  rExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
. j8 m2 W& n8 D5 N. f$ C4 ountil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* @5 M# D" ~5 N: m# wand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
# c0 g& y/ }4 L* t9 A8 x* ZMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' [6 g+ G0 l2 R) Hsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 ?5 z+ Z: J  c6 S7 _" i) {and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* k; W& b& H' H7 scoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
; E+ s" E& q+ L. \; J$ |  DMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
6 S( u, v2 z7 X$ ?; F- f: x4 jthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' u1 R9 E8 F( c- T3 a( n6 @janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 B* [5 E0 G& [! t' DNone.
& v# c& u1 n( k* H' r6 Y, L: ^Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
; W0 a5 w. L( p/ P7 j- n" x! p" ]can ultimately surpass you.
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) |0 S$ m" v, I! \PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
- j, g" Y' B; N- H- D, W- J9 ]9 ?3 hOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

+ Y. }$ e( q4 ]9 r. |3 f  zWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
; D! b  S' H/ J0 ^: R0 G7 Za balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
% t7 ~( Z: i$ [6 C6 Abecome financially independent.
0 i/ G6 m2 r$ s( c5 b; ?When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
- b0 L6 \1 M1 J$ [. ?8 uyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

1 T5 c6 S3 n7 `BENEFITS:
, ~, @+ r6 i, r, ?1 B( eWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
2 Z( c6 i% f) `) f) vno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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( b: V7 y0 q3 }( ifor life if you play your cards right.
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4 }" \5 x# I5 H. s  \( q8 U** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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2 H5 ~3 m% W, p! m6 TForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
4 Z$ g( Z' S& _2 h% Fletting them know they are appreciated
& x" P0 J" k* [' _4 J( U- M$ S6 {for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.