 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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( q- @ a' y# L3 D. K( Y/ f2 dMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma ; R2 Q& ^( ^$ s8 e; I3 M
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:8 G2 r+ ?: T) ~* E/ |; Y; y- d
Long term, team players needed for challenging,+ V: `$ [. [) L* w; e
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) E \- j9 I1 K: RCandidates must possess excellent communication ; p2 R+ p+ V; U% |/ u3 W e# M+ g
and organizational skills and be willing to work
$ L6 y" W+ c7 j; u( ]; T+ Nvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 ?; ]( T1 [. H Q! L& Q3 j7 i$ L: dand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. & l$ _, l( x1 g5 F
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. @9 j& D" ~4 A/ Q. O7 H1 Kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
( ?! D3 ?" {0 G/ q m6 fendless sports tournaments in far away cities! 8 l" z- a: M. q# }. E- }
Travel expenses not reimbursed. % B' C* ^" e9 A& |
Extensive courier duties also required.
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" K/ n4 e$ H' B$ vRESPONSIBILITIES:+ r. s2 N$ {' H- U
The rest of your life. 0 q5 o6 w( S4 {4 S' W8 R; p
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 9 Z, y" c1 {3 S
until someone needs $5.
' r' g, R( y; ]: x. b) p( m3 mMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
" v; L3 A0 \- x% s+ z; P5 ~Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
8 S W& z @$ |! f0 F; s0 S. Oand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 7 ], a. k3 L# }
in case, this time, the screams from
3 d6 J, J) n: Rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
% }" N( Q9 x6 q) v. D1 G( F$ VMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, $ \3 @) P2 m2 a+ l8 p0 j! H6 S
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 o4 o1 r! ~' X9 zand stuck zippers.
L) q. y' \- C3 v0 k a+ zMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and , |1 r/ b. Q. o0 i" n' u
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. & X) u% H) Q- V
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
0 ~% z3 T6 u! ~6 p( X# U6 BMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 8 r \! S1 K3 k8 j: K: x
an embarrassment the next.
' z( J+ C3 Z! G" Z( R3 ~Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ r; Z7 [) f, N! _5 Ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 1 r( o3 {# A1 w
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. J5 m* Q! P3 U. Q
Must assume final, complete accountability for , T# P8 s$ z3 \$ N( t
the quality of the end product.
9 `0 w( x) V8 U5 P* JResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and - N* `9 O ^3 w2 g1 d/ @8 A/ H2 \
janitorial work throughout the facility. + F# o2 C- Z5 X
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
, X0 I$ N0 [8 wNone. - _* u: r; l# E% C% @) Q9 G
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
% [; {4 ~ s: J9 j8 w% }! kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
: ]/ \: j5 A, J. `/ ?* aupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
& E; J2 L( E+ o! P, ?& qcan ultimately surpass you.7 H% W$ U W5 Q
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& _1 f H% e& M; t1 [- XPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ) v; o9 W# }" B4 ]* {8 A$ p, N
None required, unfortunately.
. y: D+ A; Z1 yOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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9 i( ?+ G7 L0 t% cWAGES AND COMPENSATION: % T' E: E4 @) j5 |. j* R3 ~" k
Get this! You pay them! 3 d/ L1 `4 [, ^1 U: Y' L$ Z
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. & t5 D' _: P# c2 Z( l! `7 \9 s
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
' }$ X9 c8 T) P; B5 eof the assumption that college will help them 1 ]9 O! C. p4 J+ Y( S- B6 J
become financially independent. 6 u% K9 }. L3 s2 {" q
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 I' q$ i' N, i# ~, K wThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that $ }- `4 c; s2 W6 S6 B
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. " F4 D" ?. ~! G: T
: e( s$ X0 Q. Z) y" ~' i- _2 u8 }BENEFITS:
. V0 E, }; z$ q/ [* B/ m2 DWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ `' l2 L& `3 A% p* Eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 4 x% r6 h* Q' u% r
no stock options are offered," K7 z5 T+ [, Y3 W- d
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 2 ^7 |' y" V) x- r0 J" F
7 ~# i2 E* e9 M' b' F, g0 y- Zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses / V( V4 [, j, ?6 C3 x/ C
, T, G8 B6 m6 `5 p6 Sfor life if you play your cards right.4 r5 d0 y4 w4 T7 y. F0 J/ \
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- M# Z; G0 C! V% g* e8 L** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 5 z6 Z P B, @3 U" D" n9 W! j" T
letting them know they are appreciated
7 c: S* s/ }0 d+ y7 r) qfor the fabulous job they do...
# z) t5 K1 c4 G& ?& k1 Uor forward with love
- g7 Y' J9 T, m% o; Fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.8 `3 I3 ]: A1 d) p/ t/ z
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
