Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
5 B& b3 c* q+ Q" i7 I: ~Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


' U( H' H- a- K& ~JOB DESCRIPTION:
$ m7 Z% a, J( t3 w% ~Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" W" J/ {# {6 A( TCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
7 J3 T, y9 k+ iand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" ^* h$ `& ]1 iSome overnight travel required, including trips to
% {, o1 o+ K! N1 E; A& |% Uprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
$ Z/ B6 k; J& l: S  _8 ?2 ^9 aendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
. b) m2 Y* s4 r. h, U  }5 _Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
: E6 L$ D! ^* f9 W! M, ?! EThe rest of your life.
/ s0 E- S+ S1 ~% p+ \" v( Q1 S3 U) CMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
1 {/ V. J" C( i" O3 V4 LMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
6 ~+ f8 @0 n  q5 j. u5 KAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* d6 n# D/ P/ iand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
! @9 L7 @0 ~9 }the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ W" r. s7 @4 k4 a( J9 IMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 {1 ]& a2 ?6 s) g* ?such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) B4 x! ]9 R! f9 D# T. sand stuck zippers.
+ v, v) w2 j0 l- v( ]! N% F& V% kMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
6 c4 R/ {% S! Y. Q/ ~: cMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
! k: |3 W* N( m4 ^Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
$ R( n  {$ [, S" h: DMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
  p% y5 }% X/ C. `. S- q2 Bthe quality of the end product.
3 T; ]+ G: Q6 U* k! o8 t6 xResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
! L: W4 n- Y8 w( L/ l* Pjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
2 Z$ Y2 _# i! e# ocan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' y$ e3 D+ J: W! O- m5 O1 AGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
# s9 E4 R, I4 V+ Na balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
+ f! Y' y" \& f9 `, n. w  }: ZWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
& W; u* \' G2 n5 ]& OThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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- A" ^; F2 G4 w  {+ k6 y# C* jBENEFITS:
$ l  f- i! b2 w  bWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ V: G& o9 E) N8 Bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
' Q% y8 p# ~4 \# Fno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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$ ]( A5 V  j; H9 w2 w2 bunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

0 c3 P4 C7 L) a+ cfor life if you play your cards right.

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( \. x0 g" K( j& b% o3 q** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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1 }) V- V7 [( b5 \1 RForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.