Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
0 G, t; ]. u- J  ?. g+ k1 [and organizational skills and be willing to work
- T0 D, E5 C5 f9 ?. j+ q/ T% @variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 U+ |* J4 c2 F$ jSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% C% c1 b3 e- c* D: f" pTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

9 J, u6 Y; [" a* G: cRESPONSIBILITIES:
+ P) G5 W0 ?7 k' uThe rest of your life.
0 f0 }1 V6 {# D# c8 Q: tMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 m1 K8 s, |& O, o6 x0 Wuntil someone needs $5.
+ \1 T, F6 G+ h1 I) `Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
! f3 D' u* i2 u. O2 r# TAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' C# s/ W2 w4 b* @. xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
( j" w" P: f. q* k" D7 Lin case, this time, the screams from
# Z; z9 K, q# @2 P2 R/ Athe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, N& N8 p$ D9 e5 }; B+ Dsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
8 ^5 u6 m8 E0 ]coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, D% p7 q; ^; M( `7 Y4 W5 y1 IMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% b4 j$ \1 ~5 ]7 ?$ W7 fMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& m. E9 ~8 t% e, N# }( Zhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
& u1 X& ]8 q9 i7 T( q5 |Must assume final, complete accountability for
: U9 O' Y$ ]) `: l! d; `9 Vthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
# W6 v% N) C" ]- c  N, n# H3 ijanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
, \/ O9 b' G( l  _4 ]3 F: sNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
$ P6 m5 C5 C' f$ g5 X- |7 ~2 Q# owithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
' \/ ^# r# v# x7 ~1 Tcan ultimately surpass you.

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& e# t- {% T6 F3 B2 S/ b% I  ^PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
( I( T- V- ]1 a; HOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

) D4 U" A' V5 vWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 q- n( g0 N* B. A' cGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
* M. Q( v* Y2 l+ w8 z! V2 a# M+ oa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ \. Z+ q5 |6 J1 z& h- V" uof the assumption that college will help them
; G' I. C$ N5 f. M' Xbecome financially independent.
- a& t- m  o* ~. x* O7 Z7 BWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
2 D' m$ k. G: r, mThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
$ C. _2 C$ C: P: t2 B& ]' Fno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

$ k- v; q- y, B* F. m+ i. Punconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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; G5 d. x8 l) j  J) g( C! Wfor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
8 D) V4 s2 _; z/ K/ h/ x# c* gfor the fabulous job they do...
9 Z6 {+ g1 c+ T7 P7 Por forward with love
8 o2 W- y/ }: j+ J$ \to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
- D$ \1 C$ x) z, {9 m0 h. U7 |- ?
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.