Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( U( W8 `0 Y. Y2 F' f' o0 IDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


$ p* P- g  B1 AJOB DESCRIPTION:
$ L+ u5 U1 l- j  }: X+ |/ A1 nLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) N# M4 X6 t  X# _Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
' T& H  |% z$ V7 e/ w6 \- x% wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
! E, d2 P$ m9 N; |/ s! c, [endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; c+ ]) c+ s8 j0 \# FTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
: C6 ^9 \) W* P; hThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
  \( V6 P. E% i% D7 t; V8 g  huntil someone needs $5.
9 A4 g3 s9 b4 I0 p3 LMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
# i! L( v& C8 o* HAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ ?2 K- E1 H" I) F- O7 o9 uMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
+ P# {4 p7 _9 G% D& Tand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
; k2 [$ }2 N; E1 a* d! D3 rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
: Z# U4 a0 w' ~+ U9 p/ ?Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
7 Y6 P8 Z% V. _. m7 Mhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
1 p% x+ L/ A+ ~, }) C/ N1 oMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
" `+ ^+ N- |0 DYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
% B2 ~; p. h/ e, a- n* C. Uupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
, G7 q0 O- R  y* Q5 ?* |can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 J: a2 V5 W- ]# ^7 g* DNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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  i' g& q, @7 r! DWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
+ r# j$ Q$ \. f3 S4 LOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
3 E9 e+ o" X! T7 G. Z- L- R' bof the assumption that college will help them
% B+ c% F8 [8 I) p* D. `0 Tbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

# o/ v3 l. r. W1 JBENEFITS:
: h* }5 B" t5 A. D* N. _, XWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
6 ?! a5 c5 [9 {, e  mno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
. v( u% }0 q/ F- ano stock options are offered,
) ~. z6 s2 }( P( M& \this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

6 Q9 h# Z  a- I" i: u! J% Uunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
5 q- R4 O5 V& j$ I- ~8 a' S& l
for life if you play your cards right.

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. \7 l& W: ^3 O1 M; I6 R
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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) w% Y- b! P- J3 r2 ?Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
& F' k3 N/ o, D" lletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.