Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
: R5 [8 s' ~/ t  j3 }: i$ OMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) Q4 v7 p0 @- a6 ^; g7 I8 kDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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5 f+ }  ?+ L. {7 v0 M/ e/ ~' M1 EJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ ^- d$ I! ^6 W$ L1 T9 B; h" @Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
5 Z# F5 q+ ?- H1 \. L" F: `/ [; J% Yvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
5 v: a* ~9 N+ \+ k$ {7 [* f' dand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% T9 i0 W; Z0 |& }Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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8 @8 m' v, [' ORESPONSIBILITIES:
9 ]+ z  M1 m$ [+ `: O* @# v" q% cThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
# S3 }5 E' F$ f" K- \+ funtil someone needs $5.
- R% g3 F7 z5 ], X2 K; ~' ^Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
0 V  e( m4 y$ @# cAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, \0 v8 I% i. ?5 gin case, this time, the screams from
6 I9 r1 r8 a4 b( jthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: J; E5 Z! \& @5 V2 _and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 ?" O' d9 I) U% hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 `1 D+ n+ c3 @3 p8 ?: h0 }Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
* C0 Z! J3 }* ~Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- u0 Q' D) a# dhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' v5 h( F: m% ^Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
9 c; `' k! _- _  NMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 L9 r  m: [1 W3 [2 h' Mjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
! O7 n1 r( x$ A3 {  X5 @- |2 Y8 j+ Lwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( U) c0 V; g4 YNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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7 r" X9 O2 Q% ~+ f) uWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; V: S# {) V$ t$ ~! [3 ]- @  `9 ~Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
0 x4 c3 `/ D$ a( F; L4 u4 {a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ g( L$ ~: H3 l1 Yof the assumption that college will help them
# ]+ x9 c# I' u6 s! D2 O# v* tbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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2 N; R- N# h! }- ^0 y' O) l" L0 ^: dBENEFITS:
) Q- p4 Z) S1 Y% I; yWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
1 J6 x. h9 }- X! Y8 Ino tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

4 Z1 E6 y% z9 ^- n6 w% iunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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+ Y: V5 J+ `$ ]- qfor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



  |; r8 ^5 j! ^5 }# m9 Z* {3 ^9 dForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
1 |' X' h' T! b0 ffor the fabulous job they do...
4 l. }" Z  S# E7 por forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.