Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
5 [7 j' b. O% \; g( `. hvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* Y- a% \# w5 o8 x2 l3 _and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
  V0 Y% |; m# }9 j9 z$ [9 M3 TSome overnight travel required, including trips to
& v, G. v3 g2 q' U8 E- ~6 {primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
* c* U1 }( @2 _+ X/ }8 @! ~) o3 gendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
! v2 D) u5 T3 _; M7 a. V$ pThe rest of your life.
% `4 r& o# W- l' ^4 NMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
- z3 E, f7 G4 KMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" A  r& `( I# F7 Jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% o$ R! C) i* c% d( P" D1 L  q; }in case, this time, the screams from
( G) P$ L& Y# p2 ~5 \2 H& rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 k. m  u% O1 u$ ?Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 ~0 W/ V9 j* a. r. R9 d/ Z) yand stuck zippers.
9 O7 ?$ S) f1 _  }. ]5 mMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- |+ |4 R1 b+ U6 x/ T, Ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, C/ |6 a7 i# t& V$ eMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  ?& i* Q2 L  ~4 T9 d1 x6 B$ aMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
7 W  P2 @/ w: f+ v! d- i- Fan embarrassment the next.
# V$ H, P* Z+ C' nMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
) s0 C9 {+ E1 j+ l) Xhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
5 r) @3 w7 V2 ~- fMust assume final, complete accountability for
9 r! j# ]) x$ kthe quality of the end product.
& l8 Q1 o( G& k% j6 RResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ m1 _/ j% A5 @5 rjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

, R" c5 D( o8 D4 ]0 E# mPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
+ O( O' E) y' I% i, F5 bYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
4 v/ ?2 L9 d! I  M' {, Rcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; H$ ?- v. x3 L  |* d/ U$ y0 RNone required, unfortunately.
) R4 j8 W# u, R: IOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ u+ ?/ ^8 V- t  J3 r( l+ m6 \of the assumption that college will help them
) f" J; Y2 b% k. G6 t: e- L) m6 lbecome financially independent.
; a. M. ]# Y1 n" OWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
. d1 I& P$ }/ R2 X( H' kThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
8 U2 u& {, X! _5 Ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
) {0 d. N! l3 `  J+ m
7 |4 v9 `& m: q, DBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
0 _( W9 y; l" n1 \' b4 jthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
9 d6 k# k5 _9 ]* w
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



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0 J0 W; q# f1 z9 M+ X9 n6 l; a** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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$ U4 }. ?9 S  z; O2 q) y
0 |; g$ ?, ^) XForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
7 j* K; m4 }- Xor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.