 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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$ x7 [6 ], G# v; R1 I, N% EMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 5 u' @) S/ m. @( w2 ?" v: Y) E
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa: H0 v+ {- {) F6 Z; _7 P
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4 L2 }9 j+ ~' NJOB DESCRIPTION:: v- L7 z8 x" [( n' h
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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, Q, Z' @' I" s) k/ n9 m9 B* q& Dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. , n' U H6 I! I! M
Candidates must possess excellent communication ; q7 Z5 E% B; O1 m+ @ W5 y% }3 T) H
and organizational skills and be willing to work # [' B8 E5 c1 q
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends / |: p3 L* J/ V" i9 z4 A
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. # f/ l9 U9 W7 y8 A( _
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
4 w* R* R1 V( R2 F- S' m# Wprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
. F( L) I+ W/ I% q% S' ~endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 0 V# j3 C' _, ~% w/ ~7 q
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 1 B. R9 A1 B$ v, O) H5 @# G3 k
Extensive courier duties also required. ) A: B3 ~7 y$ f4 W: E. @
$ w' d: i% `1 C/ a: L. sRESPONSIBILITIES:0 J+ h) ^4 B4 b5 C: a
The rest of your life. 1 `- n! Y5 @, A; g* U8 M0 m
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 2 B; S& I8 e+ Y/ k8 k: m- \# H2 q
until someone needs $5. * |9 A* B5 A3 D3 Q" E
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 5 j# z5 I/ Q; T) K* ~
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
# |' E; q& Q8 ~$ S5 N3 r3 j% @and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 F! q& s) p9 p3 G6 Din case, this time, the screams from 7 S0 M. W' f% o; g
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 j8 r8 ]) ]% L$ |" ZMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, / M3 h6 M) c( R" i. Y' P6 j$ w
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
& ~+ `2 ]+ z. B: g% r7 D G- ?% |& Nand stuck zippers.
a5 a% g0 |" | u4 A5 HMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 0 G6 Y2 H# x4 L9 a- R
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 0 `! X3 {6 d, o
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
1 Y& h# a' \% R+ UMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, % P' I. t$ }) x/ j. {" Q
an embarrassment the next.
+ {$ ~1 A+ W9 h9 t7 h6 Y7 x$ IMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a . U! s- k3 P7 n3 {
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ( D! n8 z' t5 G* }& O7 y# [7 }5 A
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. % G5 y( W3 P: T0 N
Must assume final, complete accountability for + c/ m( \1 Z" `. V; s3 J
the quality of the end product.
, r* f; [7 t4 DResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" l$ M$ \, D, jjanitorial work throughout the facility.
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4 L5 _0 u" y- s: m# {POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:4 M% f. Z, l4 B
None. ' g9 w: i2 w- t
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
+ u9 a$ o: {9 w' s/ }1 g; rwithout complaining,constantly retraining and 6 S0 M) Z {% h4 P7 o' M) ^
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
. N9 n8 I7 |( \can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ) v/ n. K4 V5 O1 N- Y8 y
None required, unfortunately.
5 {. L! }& u* h ~On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. - j0 O1 ]/ {: j! x. A
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: ! k! h3 N& D. M
Get this! You pay them!
& ?+ o0 p% w8 M8 J& lOffering frequent raises and bonuses. % R6 @1 ]" s9 |8 n8 P
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! ]5 r7 {: ]$ n4 _6 Hof the assumption that college will help them 3 U9 O/ Q: C m1 u7 z7 ]- I% H- ]
become financially independent.
$ [. q7 m* E, _. PWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. c8 w+ `1 [ N0 h! ]4 y5 k
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 0 |( n' `. ]2 R/ T# ?9 X
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. & K% V. i, D' n9 |6 t
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BENEFITS: & l2 a: q. y' @+ V" N2 _* t
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ o; _- |' j. I% b8 Z' P& h. P5 Dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
' H/ T2 o& c. G; |3 r( u5 nno stock options are offered,
! V* M' l4 p! f/ `6 z7 j: g/ @this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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7 X) C) i3 l9 w; F( u# Dunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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4 c$ l* {2 @' o6 P" M' bfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
3 T' v2 D0 v/ a% Z9 Q4 ]4 d! r3 Sletting them know they are appreciated / ?! H3 J: s) ^8 P/ c4 [
for the fabulous job they do... 1 w5 t8 q3 u; c' O" x
or forward with love 7 k" f: T1 Y5 l& }9 Y5 e
to anyone thinking of applying for the job./ n* D9 j/ K% m* }! I2 M
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
