Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
* g3 t! L7 M5 ~. J0 R: u; ]Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
0 D, p. H% P% t: Z7 _Long term, team players needed for challenging,
2 p6 M" R& F* h, u
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
( S7 ^; d- Q4 r9 F* \Candidates must possess excellent communication
8 D9 }& W6 k7 ?) yand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 X/ W4 m7 M- oSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
5 g2 t& I. M+ L$ h1 kTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

  j4 r' G$ z$ oRESPONSIBILITIES:
( }7 ~) f) K4 V/ C8 V! [; XThe rest of your life.
+ U+ k$ n, `* D0 A1 @Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* u* \# ?4 r9 r6 H' q% y% @until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ D" K" a! Z- d7 a& {: V; w7 v/ eAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
+ A3 f) n1 v/ J4 W, xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
* O4 L' z+ Z* a% T+ u9 }" t0 Othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* _& f2 I" u% \1 x: H! uMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
+ ?! z7 l5 d9 o; YMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
4 Y! p; ?' j- q2 Q0 c  TMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
2 V! f6 K9 B4 S9 a, {Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
/ v$ x1 y% V) d4 d4 djanitorial work  throughout the facility.
( H4 m6 z- N, ?0 i
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
. d9 A6 J0 q- @7 BYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
" l' j+ q: Y3 u, L9 e" ~8 Hcan ultimately surpass you.
) D% t0 }5 G# [6 I# w" m! u

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
& f0 a5 X, U( EOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
3 j  }' S( R$ V6 o0 T4 FOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
6 N* H+ w2 j. o# b' Mbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
2 ^0 z  o+ D# \& S8 ~; ]/ qThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! A: ^& T# k7 ^you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

; \( Y& j$ [' D5 H7 xBENEFITS:
: A1 N$ V' m$ k! Y! d" A& X2 XWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
& e' Z3 N: K: B6 _+ ~& J/ i2 vno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
  M/ d6 `  A+ y( J2 {2 S% ono stock options are offered,
1 U, b& W! [: d! Rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

  u4 Z! _9 `- [' H, `) Eunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
5 x# u3 W* F$ n9 h) w# b5 O
# ?; C$ u. D8 |  lfor life if you play your cards right.
. q+ K0 x/ O+ I; M9 J$ e8 x

& N9 [9 a9 O& i5 f% E/ S6 a5 r' l

/ ?  {3 q5 m' E; S** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
2 Y0 M" Z" ~: X7 H) c+ E; O

$ N) _- u4 ~$ H% t! n6 Q9 M
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
( s  @" }2 Y$ U" I+ _or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
9 }2 N# e3 B) q. c

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.