Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: L# t# {' {2 {  uDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
5 U# [; n1 x  W2 {, |Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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& r1 y* l3 B9 G* t  J. b$ rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& E: {6 i6 ^# gCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
$ D" _" j) ]) y4 w6 Z! ~and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
5 p8 O! V6 s+ D# `, b1 X7 X. DSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
/ u  ]  ~/ a/ O( b- hendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
" o7 [& s9 m0 A! @  R" GTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
7 G5 H9 L! j! c  e& v1 i# [Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 \+ C! f# H4 H# Y% Auntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& m! `, ~, u/ f! {" }$ AAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
7 D$ H* a, |: _" b0 N+ Fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
" {5 C5 G4 }0 s( Wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# Y: d, q) V$ C0 w( XMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
: W" A' @9 v6 |3 z  X  d* RMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
- o9 p- n8 D& R' g- G# Aan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
4 O9 z! S, t6 jthe quality of the end product.
" b0 l: U, |2 E+ KResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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$ t0 D' n9 W4 e* r8 KPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
! T$ P* m# y* R$ o+ BNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
' `7 R: R- b9 Xwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
3 W. S- y% |+ b  }; W2 rGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& q8 C- z/ F! R3 l* C$ D- f: e) mof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
& t& t" @- z4 [' |: a/ H+ f$ _8 F+ JThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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# P5 {2 ~- D4 I/ J2 m+ h6 nBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

+ R$ b, g* q& p5 Yunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
( ]! Q& E' `0 i  Y6 }
for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 A7 y1 d  f+ X+ Z3 \( xletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
# A9 a0 u1 p3 K. f1 U( ~or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.