Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: ?# N; ?6 Q, ]" _$ t/ I, f1 JDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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- t# q* X8 v3 o3 oJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

& P2 P6 O: D# E5 y  b2 h, Ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
1 ?6 p9 w& f* F4 k- }and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: ]7 Y, t: X9 W& ISome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
* l% l% J& `) B( n% s% kendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
6 g* V& X4 `. `) i+ VExtensive courier duties also required.

4 E3 X6 q# P& ]4 ^% Y. g! ERESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
3 |( j$ V, L0 L: @7 R% Yuntil someone needs $5.
+ P3 Q. e$ _% k1 K# y; _, UMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
3 c/ K1 s6 A# Z  z# T) Fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
+ T) i* [& a; ]$ F# l3 P" BMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
  Y# G8 y4 _" _% W0 [$ bcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
; Y1 y. T! [/ i, P5 u! C: lhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 n. i" `, K9 p& v: c$ T7 Vjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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$ F' M4 x/ p4 r2 x' b9 oPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
6 V( O9 J" }9 H5 k; y3 l$ M# e1 Z" z) }Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
; k# Y. s  F* \' }0 o9 mwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
5 M" D3 m. s! R" z/ }updating your skills, so that those in your charge
8 ?8 p% V* N# z1 \# l. }can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 @8 b/ |2 }1 BNone required, unfortunately.
/ b# j7 T6 z: c: _On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
  ?8 z" J. F  c( na balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& [9 D( P- t% _; w+ }# y$ ], b) Cof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
- ~* p( h' q8 E7 lWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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  H, g9 C  j" r# ?  ]1 W7 @/ SBENEFITS:
7 K" H8 K, J1 d* C% _" YWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
( n/ B$ @- P" H! K, s& `9 mno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
* {+ P* G1 l5 o1 Q* ?) V( jthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



, q6 B" x4 Y9 h& m' p4 H8 N/ V5 DForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
) h8 }" h4 ]1 v% l; k" ^6 x+ f& rletting them know they are appreciated
: C. C( Y+ C: A" mfor the fabulous job they do...
# w8 T( ~% t4 h( jor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.