Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
0 T6 l$ r: y; {2 U0 H% l* HMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
1 g, y' E4 _$ R0 C/ X8 q

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
& ~: T$ I  V, N1 `5 l2 k
4 C( y' U" s& `$ Xpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
1 G/ E$ F" \* F1 e$ Z; ^8 nand organizational skills and be willing to work
8 |8 x2 {/ c! E( p% R% [variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ W9 U* H( G2 T6 T) m/ k( u, }Travel expenses not reimbursed.
1 y) H; _8 _# V( r  _* ~Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
5 w* K8 P! q- {) c' R5 @7 z( \Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; V1 u" G2 {( R" m) hin case, this time, the screams from
5 k0 G1 |# J( s0 V3 gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
  @* {# J- ?: m' qMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 Q- u% @' A9 I  `coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 j& k9 }! _/ P5 qMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
; W+ H) C2 d- Q2 B, Zhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' J5 K2 L. x$ A. |# u, LMust assume final, complete accountability for
$ @" S2 S' n1 L' vthe quality of the end product.
9 ~. r" w5 w/ oResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
3 T& p7 {; Q) D* J2 P8 N# I) {janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
& z  n. z: \1 ]5 }Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
; T; y1 W, r2 S( F- K- Nwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
" a+ m8 s% A0 ~4 v7 N% B/ x, x9 a) K: Gcan ultimately surpass you.


8 B3 j; O2 H  BPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" E7 ^, r- k% A6 a" G2 \' JNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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3 K) v' h6 b, E- O/ i+ X- }7 UWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 s1 {9 `$ X( y  u8 ?4 p# C0 D* J) WGet this! You pay them!
5 u1 F) ~8 I+ K) P6 e& BOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 r5 L: B' C9 K. ]8 Jof the assumption that college will help them
% b$ O5 n( V3 c2 ~3 N: {+ Rbecome financially independent.
* u0 C6 _. `8 L* zWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 D- E6 S6 [5 c% `# b" h3 sThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, U2 q' Z) h+ Fyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
' r. M0 p+ ^& ?
+ W6 J, J/ e3 |# j+ [9 WBENEFITS:
( i9 ^+ o) }% S' x& Z0 ?) p; WWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

! ]: j+ q4 e3 w* C, P9 Sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.




) s( J8 @- Q% {" T$ ]** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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$ `! t3 s' Y* }' AForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
! F' s5 q0 y8 n' w" u! ?9 {letting them know they are appreciated
1 t" `( }1 u  J/ `for the fabulous job they do...
/ B" h% ]: h" \1 [  p' Eor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.