Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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& p0 H  P) g* P7 TJOB DESCRIPTION:
% J& S8 y; n  W* O% kLong term, team players needed for challenging,

' E5 }2 P" H# ~permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
- J8 O, k3 F# g6 v% Vand organizational skills and be willing to work
0 A- P; X3 z5 z0 d2 E) A$ [variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
& P5 j1 d8 o$ u, z: S& C8 zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 L" Y, e' i3 f5 i8 sSome overnight travel required, including trips to
* n! i7 t7 S. Y1 }& y% k9 r8 z/ t2 Oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# \$ A+ T6 A) r/ p/ d" fendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; V7 l/ L5 f# s9 w% \) z! QTravel expenses not reimbursed.
  i5 n7 c# y- V; [  Y2 w5 mExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
9 s! G1 {' S$ v+ x1 uThe rest of your life.
# W, ?2 h( e1 t8 |/ MMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" ^' \( L' k; gin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
, X" U, K& C# ^6 d2 ecoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% q8 F; w# J* h8 @9 d4 B- EMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
. \. y# R5 A, H3 i+ s; `9 WMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% Q4 y& ]5 ^. h8 B4 |Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! u3 n+ A2 q# o, p: _& Q$ P( ?Must assume final, complete accountability for
( J  T) d( F4 P. Ethe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 I# w7 M8 g1 X+ Z5 p: Njanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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) R- T' i9 {2 W5 i! wPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 _! K: H& }: QNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
" @  s* \! `; @1 ]6 ]without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
; X7 l& V. W6 ?- e$ wcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
4 F1 `0 T) _9 g' }, P! ~# w9 jNone required, unfortunately.
3 E7 R- m3 x& K6 ~/ w5 y, e, tOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
9 T4 b! `  G' O# ?% l8 H$ U  H& ^Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
7 Z0 |$ k9 q% [4 c& Fa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
5 D- ]( D3 P" T, D- Xof the assumption that college will help them
# D) o6 W: W0 Z) n- W& Ebecome financially independent.
* X/ z' S% J7 T: A1 tWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
9 ?7 O" z* Z9 S# H1 y, lyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
/ {+ j& ?) T9 Z8 \" {( hWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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- [: Y0 }6 m9 `. k& U, @unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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3 t4 w: Y' Z& U, H* p( F, l# U' v** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# |; `. M7 y" V/ Y* eletting them know they are appreciated
) Y  O& G# \$ k( Q1 yfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.