Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
; A6 h; ]4 q8 K4 V1 _Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
% D7 s. `) j! f+ u4 A" @; I1 m

JOB DESCRIPTION:
: G# y+ m+ W9 ^7 @: ZLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
+ Q  h2 j3 ]) k9 P; `and organizational skills and be willing to work
8 i& s+ W0 T7 }5 B" `variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 ?) B; z& b3 y3 iSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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) ^. j# A# N2 O. RRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
1 M. g+ U: K8 o( K' j; I- gMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
, h! s% ^0 f: ~+ x% GMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
$ V, l* |$ f3 s& F- h) n- C2 q3 T9 Win case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 [  c# G3 S2 k0 D& A6 uMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
8 @9 p! @! y6 V. L% \# ZMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
/ n, W* q! g  m, P1 yMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
1 ?5 v1 z% F+ B/ xan embarrassment the next.
: [; v& H4 f- T4 m! U4 ]Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
+ l) C  V! [, I* rthe quality of the end product.
# J8 w" E  V- r- BResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
- F$ \: {% L, |, J" O3 S. [janitorial work  throughout the facility.

+ B$ e/ t6 u% i; Z' X; nPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
# T$ Z, W& |( DNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
3 v: r' g  j% Wwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


: F7 e2 b  j4 D; d5 ~6 DPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
: d2 N2 ^- R' j. d0 d. ?On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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! p$ {! w; Y" ~+ f0 [WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
. Z& M6 z* p  ZOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
% q& R- u$ u7 L. `8 Q. j! L( Q  \9 Aof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

6 I* @4 _# }5 U3 ~7 qBENEFITS:
7 d% i4 U3 d& b( m' {While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
4 ^6 i# ]2 S3 D4 I- }# K, ?- |this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

7 d3 w1 ?/ R' c/ }  w- \7 R# @for life if you play your cards right.


, ~1 E! M/ M- h7 C3 B
+ M7 A' `" n) W( x9 H6 b8 ^5 @
. N: i8 P# v6 j( {% r/ l% L3 m** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


. }7 b& g! s5 j" h) X* u2 e
; h0 ^, t1 X" T0 G/ I$ [! D; DForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ b) C5 X9 B$ c4 w! r' t9 Yletting them know they are appreciated
( w) s7 j3 v% ], J/ c/ t2 v, wfor the fabulous job they do...
- h" `5 Y; Q1 L7 ~* Zor forward with love
/ d2 [, C& o  `/ B5 _1 K3 uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.