Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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! i) `- ^6 \' F% U0 J6 f. d( f' vpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
+ w, P/ x' Z3 t2 f1 }- i, ^* ~9 N. YCandidates must possess excellent communication
& f7 S. E/ }6 v7 ]# yand organizational skills and be willing to work
1 `0 O+ h% |. X$ ]variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
5 p4 w8 F3 J# U4 ^! mSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
% ^7 v' |; e: y' T* G( sThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
1 R1 E! `0 G3 e2 H8 ~until someone needs $5.
* u: p3 C  _' D* {Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% \& Y8 x6 K' b  G; |/ c2 S6 Iin case, this time, the screams from
4 Y6 m( F, ]$ m9 G' z$ c' [8 W, qthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
5 c" Z- K' z+ M7 V/ r  o  ^6 QMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& k# T) t% S# z! U& }coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! f! R  Q5 G5 FMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
0 w' s& H3 }2 ^0 `$ b( ban embarrassment the next.
/ ?) U4 r( O- f4 ^Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% u  C* F5 M9 ]1 g' \) V) l0 phalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 b: u; _% j3 Y9 Y5 UMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
/ S; O* p1 y% ^the quality of the end product.
3 t3 g- p- y, s0 Z! VResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
, F7 [; s3 y2 Q6 BYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
" V+ a: c0 s( M( `; q7 W8 l9 dcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
5 b- {3 D/ ?" S; y# \None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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$ ]( ^2 o" N/ a( j% nWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 F6 D5 O& t  E# t6 n6 QGet this! You pay them!
: H. m9 x) e% r; G) ^0 COffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 w; [/ b1 u% q" _2 ~0 E" Mof the assumption that college will help them
2 B$ e9 ^! @+ y' k9 Z. ~" n0 Xbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
4 f* c2 B$ B: K, e6 s; N  A1 |The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
' a4 k; W. K; z4 X# C0 P& QWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ b3 F( y# [, Cno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
  D/ l2 `4 ^6 _/ p2 Jno stock options are offered,
  n: J/ O( a$ |$ _this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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' m* Y! e2 g* c) DForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
) q, b6 B  c. e; v* b3 D0 uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.