Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
: U0 _$ X; J( [) y6 E) S& mMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
  \' U' b# }" D+ D# A( XDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


. [, M1 E% T7 C: F+ s) H3 FJOB DESCRIPTION:
1 E- @3 N5 }4 N) v: uLong term, team players needed for challenging,
# h+ i) C6 Q: T1 |9 {; A& `
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 H* n: O. M7 ~- [( yCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
' H; n5 e- T+ @) @; g/ i: t( \variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
" I6 a/ o; ?, ~  B+ iprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
0 s7 R* Y0 q% p+ oendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
+ V8 t  W. \5 p5 C. s" S2 ]8 i3 ^1 XTravel expenses not reimbursed.
& B9 C! L! E$ o: B/ c* r+ N$ t8 pExtensive courier duties also required.

' J+ b/ E6 Q; L1 V! l: [' WRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
8 i; d8 ~; m3 x1 O& ?3 mMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 m( _' D& T+ D( S$ qand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
5 U: i0 N( R7 r1 y. ]7 i1 j2 H, gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
& f: w& s. K& r/ S& r5 Q0 o0 cMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
9 Z- D& l! E2 D3 ysuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
) H" w3 Q  X( A  D9 c( c8 UMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* z' b% S3 m# r5 S1 rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
2 h1 e% H5 A( W3 n4 Aan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; d( `5 [/ J  q" k7 F3 oMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
5 Z9 n9 }+ @+ F9 F) e( athe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
& f9 [% R, `4 |8 J7 s% ajanitorial work  throughout the facility.
% i8 y4 I7 m/ l1 P9 _* J0 f' o! C' D
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
: J1 ?' o0 T" f- P; h. l2 R) KNone.
% e) ^+ \7 Q- K# wYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
8 t- I4 @! B! t! A, K5 y3 l" Wcan ultimately surpass you.
/ U5 d2 a* C- F9 x* s. H1 w
* H" y' I) k7 I  b. F/ K6 Y
! U6 i. F, C- A0 NPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

; k  t( [* j, }) ]( K4 d# M. l- vWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
- @$ o/ h+ P" g6 @7 n% UGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
1 P$ `/ u2 b6 Y6 ]1 ZWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
% a* `& M$ N4 `) V! |  MThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

, P* e" r8 Z4 o5 n; _BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" {/ Q% H2 H: v% P/ k3 wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
2 k, s8 E+ q* S3 U4 hthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
$ x' F$ ]- c' l/ _9 s: i# Y5 B
: L2 ~5 c1 \2 c: A* i" J8 `unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
: _: [" a0 ~. }6 m  O8 k& f( u1 v2 z
0 ?% X; U, Y* U  ^% I6 lfor life if you play your cards right.
+ R0 u- y- Q* Y8 R5 N5 ~3 h
7 G+ B% Y. E2 a; C

8 T) {9 I) ?3 G( q' l' G/ e
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
# F) z( K* w$ u& {1 j+ R


3 W; S0 g- U! `) RForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
! h8 `0 R, y" R3 ]for the fabulous job they do...
$ V( M3 T3 l  d. y. ?& Vor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
' r. f4 x- ~% x5 J" B8 M! B
0 |  e/ s, F) S9 u

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.