Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: A6 @& \5 x! {: eDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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- o. z$ y, f9 s4 o6 e* nJOB DESCRIPTION:
, ?/ h/ }  x0 V% O0 MLong term, team players needed for challenging,
# r6 F& q; g- A! u3 v: x
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
4 X8 J  D) X) G( D) \and organizational skills and be willing to work
3 s7 p" G7 K3 n& Q$ O3 ^variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, j( f6 _3 X5 Eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ u2 L) M2 b% t+ n+ Sendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
; w- T, M: Z) y4 T" I) \4 IExtensive courier duties also required.
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1 ~0 o8 w5 o- h6 kRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
4 s/ P! y7 n8 D- ]- t" i! o3 pMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
' t  @2 }" R+ uMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
& R6 [; n8 T! J- T- T, [and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
& \$ o# l) T( E# w  g! X& f; ain case, this time, the screams from
) c1 x8 _4 W; }9 Zthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
7 s" c0 t3 V5 V+ EMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
! G; v, L4 ^% xsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 n0 l' u, Z% m! C, j5 G" S4 _. M. e! {and stuck zippers.
& |3 }% l# E, a8 `& jMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
2 s4 Z% {6 n3 e% oMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
1 t0 R& p) R$ {half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
# P; o% w; J  K. B0 _2 _6 sMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
3 T4 k- A( u8 i* H9 ~8 XMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
3 y2 j# Z# ^5 X" DResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
+ T2 U" E/ Q( j/ b& {& lNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 `" D. k$ G  {; t6 d; V. J8 swithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
( [+ D2 V  h" Gcan ultimately surpass you.


+ ]4 P+ k& @8 w' z; A8 {7 ~PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ V- _0 r  _8 [" [5 [None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

+ @& J3 ^2 @- @5 c3 n5 `3 WWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
7 q! G6 e8 l& T! mOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
: D& F* \, g* Ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! E9 J4 E3 X2 s+ Oof the assumption that college will help them
6 J5 q- t: y( K. Kbecome financially independent.
) R- S) S# \1 z. z$ S1 F1 _6 |When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
8 z& E& t& k  K& _( o2 o' u* d( A: Ayou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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3 r1 d4 m+ m4 m& L& n! LBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
- g1 b+ }) _0 e9 w1 f0 W- f& e% @no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

9 T1 O0 S: s" D; R; Ufor life if you play your cards right.




% b/ y: l" W2 o5 Q6 ~! ]3 m** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 Z* h% z' V* n) t3 aletting them know they are appreciated
' `% y2 d6 s: @, {$ z. e3 j8 dfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.