Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
0 W0 h% M5 j7 \8 |1 f% z3 d* B4 EMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
  q& c2 U: x. c  HLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
% B$ x6 T( u4 z2 E( h2 [variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
# G  b; j& O9 u4 I% g$ r9 sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
/ r$ |; [' X( ^5 V, B7 p, _Some overnight travel required, including trips to
% r. n! r5 d0 T' k4 Wprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
# e; n: K. ^! N2 T9 M& Z( S* qTravel expenses not reimbursed.
/ u4 A+ w1 Q+ z4 B" d, _Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
( q; k. B/ _% O9 i3 [. {* FMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
, }8 Y" y, K* }8 U7 duntil someone needs $5.
9 d+ g+ d* ]: W& Z7 e- ^4 {Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
% {, A" J, y8 B0 [# u2 _; g% Land be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
* \  H1 D+ J4 z7 `5 dsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
' [  m) D: A: Q) sMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ Q8 }, ~8 [/ s! f2 T  u; i" jcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
) A9 {& {4 C5 I" P$ \% QMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
( g  J8 n* s2 A$ K4 wan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
+ F" b4 ]2 W; N* E+ H* l) ?4 Zhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
: L0 E  e7 ?3 }7 aMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
7 f% x1 f( k0 @, O  T. Z/ }$ u
0 I# S+ P: I5 S  n7 v6 gPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
- R; e, m. R0 V, S) aYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
, r3 v7 w& l: I2 u' owithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
5 P. j% M& U, `+ \0 O$ r

; o5 Z: |: Y: z& u* MPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
1 B8 m. G* k8 D4 g: U! O9 ?- O
' F+ R2 w4 e1 a4 n) t8 O5 }& j6 M) zWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  l8 q! v( P; b: t2 YGet this! You pay them!
; s* V& S2 e% LOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
, Y* [0 i# @6 m* I5 e- {of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
' ^0 T1 ~" o! K$ O: K# X6 o, z2 eWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
# R- c, X' v7 \, ^; fyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

1 E) V2 w3 [! yBENEFITS:
; a  u' _8 o; l6 gWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
1 _4 s# c# M% b  ]no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
0 f7 R; |) D: m1 e2 m5 \! Ino stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

2 J! p% v4 [9 M. d  V


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

  M# c! h; S6 D4 m6 l5 I: \# J$ m+ S6 Q
, J0 f4 R' j- H; y0 `# m
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 I* h: K# c' L( iletting them know they are appreciated
7 ~  N- M' U8 Z0 N% G6 |0 Tfor the fabulous job they do...
" a. G7 j( b( k3 k6 d9 Wor forward with love
$ B0 C2 t, [  ]) x& ^; S& Xto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.