Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
* d7 z. j* v2 y

; \- C9 L* `. D( B' Y+ t) e, nJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
! j6 R7 ?* \& N$ D' c) N2 [and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
5 u5 U+ M! s! f4 U: dSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  B) X8 k0 y7 U4 J. Z% Wendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
' J9 X( M* ?1 N) s% W' JExtensive courier duties also required.
* U; ~4 O7 m# v0 w  W# K5 D; R
2 ]( g. p, Z! j- }4 V- eRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
. e( ]8 L2 v% r4 R3 |- F# xuntil someone needs $5.
* f, ]# R0 U5 C# x0 r3 e8 ?! T) ^Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
4 T& I+ e! @( Q3 n+ J/ Dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
- \+ U1 e3 \6 I# l0 o2 |such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 t$ Y* y6 j9 u' Pand stuck zippers.
9 A* q& a! C  v  l' c8 zMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
+ _$ O) q# a* Z; H# O; t' jcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
; C8 Z6 y3 U4 Y9 p, {+ ^Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. A* y+ i# a, T) c' ]an embarrassment the next.
2 D  f. F  C+ y2 R! @( g9 I! A' YMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
  ?: u6 ]; O  chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
9 x8 V3 k7 Q$ M/ [5 b7 z( `. Uthe quality of the end product.
9 ~0 C' ^$ o& Y  a  L9 U* x* _Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

. a, V) e1 m; k+ uPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
9 b; v* y& L# s) G2 TNone.
% r! q  n1 A8 D/ KYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
+ D0 d" X- u+ y8 \4 wwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
; s& }: O! R( Q! V' Pupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
: [; l' c1 t. u( K- ]can ultimately surpass you.

1 {  h% P! T  {0 T5 D, t5 g; F: D
4 |6 K, b5 d$ Z" S% _( x. |0 t" APREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 C9 t# O, P# D: l- h+ K3 TNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
8 g$ s6 O, F2 ]( ^
6 L/ w6 B/ y( O; kWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
7 d8 V% L3 x9 M- S% _2 ibecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 P" F4 K% B7 {3 Y+ byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
5 |, B  y. k5 _8 J% \( k  X
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ U! z6 ?" r( |) X& Lno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" G, s+ `+ e2 y( S1 Zno stock options are offered,
- Y3 M- h3 M. ]6 [this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



- F/ r0 f7 L/ s6 N7 L/ k
. x0 A5 M. S- ^6 K" f+ }** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


2 }4 {/ v6 _, q* K) b/ s/ `
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
) A/ t0 {2 t* d8 w% Z' \* d; K. u+ `to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
/ Z: B0 j1 Q8 s+ }1 e3 p

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.