Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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8 k" _/ C! ]8 ^; z. T$ SJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
6 `/ ?7 e0 [* t: xCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
8 s% {  E) G9 v2 W" a! C, YSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
0 E" O' \2 P; j" S9 }, FTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

; ~/ o! @7 L. O! ORESPONSIBILITIES:
7 `% ~' A' }+ [2 P) AThe rest of your life.
! K' N9 M3 n# [- m3 c- \6 \Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
$ |; z' h6 Z" sMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
3 Q" M' z3 z+ d8 L. R& V0 u; WAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
& W: H. o- O; j- V/ O6 T3 a7 Min case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" N# W, F7 [: Qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 R5 b/ B" ]' Y- cand stuck zippers.
+ Z( s2 ^# d' c+ bMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
7 v7 Z9 t3 C6 n! R( |2 F6 G% F0 r) Xan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 U; H+ \) B6 M6 Xhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! @3 o2 H; [1 ZMust assume final, complete accountability for
4 s. X; K% ~, t$ l& {0 P1 Ethe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, ~8 j8 m$ q4 t0 F1 H( Gjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 x3 P: k! K4 z( ENone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
6 \" g$ T( t0 Y0 T( M( B2 Dcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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3 H. i& p1 s: m9 lWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 [2 K+ K) q( V/ N8 {) |Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
* l+ E( X5 s" t; h- o4 g# oa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 Q& m! Q; v( [- n5 Bof the assumption that college will help them
- {- a. c8 O; \5 b& Nbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

8 n2 z, d0 e& _BENEFITS:
- a. r% T. C, Z" x2 `While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
( e% I8 F1 H" Y% {& _5 d+ Ano tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
! U% [6 V6 x# D9 |* Fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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$ b, x' W3 d) n# m; C! `for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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3 y! i6 f9 \6 e0 ]) U7 qForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
  w3 r5 z7 ^8 D* g- kletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.