 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 4 N+ l$ V$ q+ s0 C4 ]8 G4 N+ }
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
/ b$ ^+ m/ Q" Y% ^Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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4 Y9 Q8 p- w: R' s/ Z' V2 O: cpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' ^' r$ p; L0 Z, z* x; iCandidates must possess excellent communication
u9 K" `5 a% nand organizational skills and be willing to work
9 Y% s, a: v- ?* |; ~variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 3 }$ }4 N! b, b* d$ {
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. * Y5 Z) u" J8 K! s0 t B9 p) f
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
" H8 j0 l, z- s; Lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
) ~$ e. D- s- `' x8 Gendless sports tournaments in far away cities! + ]0 J6 L& n& Q" U$ k. t: W6 @7 o
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 5 X9 P9 F! y0 ?7 k
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
, a: b. m6 t* S# J- ?/ bThe rest of your life.
# P$ [% C( ]5 p" kMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, / i6 m' W" e8 L
until someone needs $5. + W/ l/ Y3 E, `
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. * R3 T& W/ B! W* [' R
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ) g% n* ]# N$ Q1 S& t
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat : y1 G: a! f3 `) x
in case, this time, the screams from
; D: a4 D" T9 U' ~the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ' X; _- S% |9 o5 P9 M
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, " z7 a' I; {0 B# l- J" `. I8 t
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 4 v% R! I6 V. L6 h4 s: ^
and stuck zippers.
: v# C% M- _! Q: KMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( ]5 M* B B/ y, h7 @' `coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
: O- @' N9 I6 H0 Q F' TMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 V! @& A2 }$ Z3 O- B, `Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, ! F. E) W' U% t6 A3 z/ U
an embarrassment the next. & ?4 s) l; ?3 p: y/ X
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
) \* y1 Y. }9 y! Q8 X* whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ! q0 V$ B% M2 d& b7 G7 ]
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. C5 v5 x( }7 h! G
Must assume final, complete accountability for
7 C& u) @1 n7 ]the quality of the end product. , T/ D0 z1 a5 y. n$ c/ q/ R
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 g9 C! Z# L9 {, {4 D7 ujanitorial work throughout the facility. / A) c. j/ }( {- U% E% ?1 `
: Q+ g. h1 w9 k( s( nPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:; N3 S9 ~2 m. S8 ]9 I" u% K$ P$ H
None.
# S8 M! ?# W2 m9 IYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
& G/ k8 j7 p% h. y: \! k, G9 ]without complaining,constantly retraining and / s& e! F* c4 m% z- q3 K# o( m# F
updating your skills, so that those in your charge ! z5 A9 _4 `; v. `! @ D
can ultimately surpass you.7 \( f Q8 J* R7 ]/ ~. T. J+ b S
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 h7 {3 C4 h0 O1 Z yNone required, unfortunately. " }- _9 D M, e# t# a
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. " i3 x! L: S2 J5 x& H
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: - p% z/ ^& y0 }$ f" F7 g, f1 S
Get this! You pay them!
6 T( u j) C/ ?, x$ K# w7 WOffering frequent raises and bonuses. # a: k4 d& M9 I: T. X# K! t
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because " [7 @9 x; w. ]: H+ z4 X4 Y
of the assumption that college will help them
; c4 ]. j% A2 \) xbecome financially independent.
8 S/ M6 z7 W* B& [, Y- p3 T9 RWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
# l4 W# g( d- {6 L# GThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that : Z( r+ D' Q& N( C) w
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
% b- ]6 M/ |8 A4 c) s) Y# yWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 2 u4 F6 \. ~0 N2 Q# V. v
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
. Y# W7 ` {* n2 Dno stock options are offered,
- I0 ]/ L4 ^' F& X" L+ Ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, - N0 _5 J, o' d& Z' V) g! i8 R7 s% g# l
9 l- g* y) O7 wunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.) L: S6 @3 |' Z
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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3 p- m$ `: b3 Z1 w8 O9 SForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" h# U/ u3 u8 L0 _' |letting them know they are appreciated & y- L- J. N- @# Y! m+ [. U! m
for the fabulous job they do...
3 G7 j2 \4 t m' v& x9 N8 Sor forward with love
k0 Y! l l, R* P+ z8 t: sto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
