Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
0 u$ {- @- i+ @

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

$ v& R; c9 P6 T/ e: x5 Hpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
2 q( O+ n) y0 dvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: `6 g: K5 |) E( l5 hand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" }6 W: H( N& {# ?, @' g1 q! aSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 q9 y/ O! U, w% V# Gendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
' m( O& B9 L8 @6 o/ [Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
$ b2 m9 l$ q! t" GThe rest of your life.
; [" G2 G7 `8 {  q) OMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
. q  |( U& \* |6 z& X; V( nuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ H; M) Z/ d) F. UAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
) |  d, u% c# j/ n0 [5 ^in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
( |/ |+ x" l3 r( x" fand stuck zippers.
* A, V& \' U& A" y) pMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
; l" o) i' j) ]! e: zcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 a2 G, C7 I  U$ U+ hMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
) q) G( l4 I8 m, ]+ Q. h* WMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
. S+ ^, s: H6 h9 T7 o- k# D& k: xthe quality of the end product.
3 S/ }* A* [; p0 dResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, m4 `* E! h: y0 o. s3 ejanitorial work  throughout the facility.
7 C$ d* f- a: z* E  s9 P
! z- {) S* ~9 N3 g% h' E: C: QPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
$ @4 h0 q7 ^7 @) o2 x6 tNone.
# Y8 ]' z. V" j; \" rYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
* X6 U! ?5 {. H5 T3 h0 twithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
( y1 ?+ T# B- e. ^$ B+ wOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

% W; }- V9 x* B$ H; QWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
" S0 f+ X$ S/ K) t1 IOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
: H$ I3 L6 f- j) ka balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
, x1 j8 I4 G0 y0 Bbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
9 S& B' A: E% k5 j/ ?* H5 Jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
5 I& f. ?7 F, {  t% G( tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
5 U  {2 G% v6 ^% F- @/ {  Y5 }# u6 X, eno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
% ~6 r% g' S+ S- r6 E0 ?+ M* F
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
( J# t' c% p0 i* T
for life if you play your cards right.



$ }, V  g; u# ?1 a- |5 G8 b; N1 Z
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

" e$ ?$ o! W( g2 _

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
# W6 H5 C' t; H2 @to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
$ Q- F3 D. a1 z  q1 |$ W1 S

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.