Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
/ G" P$ j2 [# V" j# N- u5 W
6 T6 k0 g1 ?3 \9 c9 ?4 rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& l; w7 \/ M) MCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
( v7 n3 _$ E8 [; p3 @* E8 G/ ESome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 w  y3 D0 s' f" O6 p) t2 jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
. n1 W3 g& I  l! \until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. P- }2 i+ [" e+ P) Band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
/ d& R: K0 X: w" `; Y# Oin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  j4 v: F: |+ _3 Nsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
6 B# X  I7 l3 N: I9 A0 ^; ]; p" G/ i; oand stuck zippers.
% ~: v$ y- e! F- ^2 i6 J+ [% UMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
1 j5 b* ~) _; ?$ y( n( ~Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' x  u0 R% ]& x) n  z" E% ?half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
* f4 W* d, n" i3 V- w  lMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
3 Y' V6 d2 ?& c: ~- z5 w! J& UMust assume final, complete accountability for
0 }6 c4 y8 J( ^the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
$ M' |' p4 j# Q0 a1 `! [! \1 ?janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
2 [5 }& T: m, x* T; Hupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


' Z  Y7 N) @/ Z% s& l7 Q; r1 wPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
) ?- D- z9 o7 F, }# S0 rNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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- @/ Z" P- [& k) ]0 e) Z0 h6 {WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
" A( a& T' C: y- \6 XWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
4 Y- u2 E- N0 q! rThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

7 i" ?. a( I4 @- Z% Punconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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( x9 u1 e  Q, D) ?* f: b1 `% Cfor life if you play your cards right.

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6 B6 ]1 v7 ]9 ^) n** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
' F0 e& H* ?% Z7 |letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
9 M/ W2 r+ |; d! T/ Q' E& H2 Fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.