Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! S( W+ w- f8 m/ JDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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* S9 ~$ u, d; U; S# zJOB DESCRIPTION:
9 x) L# y# I1 f$ RLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ x- M3 G# T7 zvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
" e& B! a6 h+ h! D: e3 oand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
& p/ t) a1 o9 b  v7 C, L4 NExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
* |$ e1 a0 t6 T7 i' O; q7 P& GThe rest of your life.
2 J# i$ m) D& ZMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
7 y4 @/ l; q4 I  k2 mMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' Q* E/ P# ~% e$ G$ din case, this time, the screams from
) I# p( k- x2 c2 zthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ f9 A4 J4 t8 t. I! p" r. m* gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
* T! i% f& ]6 L6 Q7 T# r2 RMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, q0 S5 n1 L; lMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
2 |' T9 @7 o6 lan embarrassment the next.
/ V3 y* n* l' n3 u2 \% ^Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 V  s8 S- o' |# e# iMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
) c% J" U" `7 w& }the quality of the end product.
7 V) X9 r& G' c, L5 c: N6 A! WResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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. O6 L$ s8 B0 {POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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* O5 z7 V0 L+ x7 |: Y' m5 I2 {# g) v5 nWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* w& E( t5 c3 _1 j  ^' `Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
2 [5 \+ }' T( _+ ~a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
) d$ n* K" f; o5 Lbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
2 h4 r" {3 Q1 o6 n" K2 \, ~: K, lthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
# [- u* Q: a4 q+ |% v/ o* M
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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0 N' D  }1 O/ d' U; }% j0 h1 Ffor life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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  c" D3 q0 m6 l0 X2 yForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* d" \4 l1 ?2 `3 `& ]4 Z- p. wletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
5 d& y- j% C% Uor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.