Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 g1 [3 l+ Y+ J1 HMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


. f# [+ u8 |4 ~/ A: u+ pJOB DESCRIPTION:
' \  L/ m  B  f0 n2 GLong term, team players needed for challenging,
- [% I2 l/ C( q9 e5 f. ^: g
$ J2 M# k" x: r% J, k$ }9 ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
  A' d+ n2 }7 D& u; ~0 [! uCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
% K" L3 i. D. l) Wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* q% T  ^  j- W% O6 L% STravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

# `+ b: M  ]0 d6 R) w2 B% W" JRESPONSIBILITIES:
; d! W* |- B: M1 |The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
1 i# l* j! n9 rMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 h( ~2 M0 e& N: o: w# e9 R' lAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' ?0 I  _& [6 Z) \and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 `9 \8 k5 P" ]$ t/ R$ J2 vin case, this time, the screams from
0 d% K+ D! w( F9 c6 c/ Mthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; `" D( A4 X1 p( B$ ssuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
$ F1 Q5 ]/ f# H0 O4 EMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% s! B) {& c' C7 lMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
7 m! _: X' O* L5 ?' o1 d4 ^# f0 ban embarrassment the next.
1 o. Z& I8 w5 D4 Y' j7 AMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. i" N6 X, \; a; D6 Vhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
# j7 g: ^: i6 W5 h& h4 E0 Bthe quality of the end product.
$ M( D+ o+ [0 Z" ?1 QResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- F  s7 z0 _9 Y8 [9 c# v9 iNone.
+ g7 a) K" t' E% ^5 \% EYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
( w. a8 {$ \7 Z' d7 N) |% dupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
  C$ [* D/ [7 w6 g9 A. \/ c" q5 Gcan ultimately surpass you.
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& c2 h6 v( c* a1 p1 c: N) \1 sPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
$ F& F- t0 }4 E' F, LOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
7 d+ Z+ N# Q+ s8 n( N# ?4 w) \Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 m8 C7 X) b8 u& x6 e" Xof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

3 T5 W3 @0 Z" i$ {: S  i- OBENEFITS:
# @# Z; M- q. ^1 K) [While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

: d' {3 W6 T3 ?/ V3 E5 sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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5 r( m2 {9 s+ K

- w& D) Q9 J! ?** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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2 ]/ R/ h6 Z: _2 x. f/ {8 \
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
; f- O, z2 u+ r- Vletting them know they are appreciated
8 }& d( P. [, F0 H2 m: c0 vfor the fabulous job they do...
8 z$ Z) x" y# |& t( U$ a  p1 u: M3 v/ Xor forward with love
4 v+ D" k* ?' x+ |) A" n* }to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.