Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
8 K% p1 H3 _! |: M# q! D; K5 \Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


3 R% |! ^1 N" a5 ~! H- i0 _JOB DESCRIPTION:
! `" ]9 d4 x$ KLong term, team players needed for challenging,

: [# i% z! X) U- R( p2 C+ q* ]permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
' y6 a6 Q$ H" Y; e1 y/ [and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
( l$ `+ Y2 Z' V7 \and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
+ M, @  B, X/ m2 kSome overnight travel required, including trips to
4 P& f( K4 Q& m) d8 w  Pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
$ c4 @1 [' }4 N( {" |( _( Hendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 f; k% g- ^0 R% Y5 g- RTravel expenses not reimbursed.
3 X& R5 G& y2 P) a9 [0 z6 kExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
3 P, I# C6 g& L2 y$ F2 M3 ~" a4 u" W7 f/ OMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 |  H) Y' O. [3 Z! {2 q+ r; G) Rin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
7 p7 x) m  X2 s. E( Dsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
! I' ^' N( g" G' ^1 p1 Q" wMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
3 D+ D6 g5 {1 jMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
, L  I1 ?5 {& N' }) |5 \  C1 _the quality of the end product.
9 l  X: z3 x( i' s; }  ^Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ r3 {: G2 H% z$ Q0 ajanitorial work  throughout the facility.

" D; o: h3 Y3 _6 H, R+ x& g& ePOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
5 h2 f, m& `# f. q- R0 i# vNone.
7 |; U2 R- ]6 Q( m7 }+ N, W# KYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
7 g0 |- z- U( fwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
, O( X/ |$ n( I: J: H# e6 Xupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
' Q* m% u4 ?$ a( ]. r' o/ \can ultimately surpass you.
6 v, V, F  D8 v" O+ U9 w$ g% k
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 ]: Z6 @! d# z4 ?8 YNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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, @8 U4 p$ ~9 r: G9 u  B+ k+ v6 wWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
) h; F5 ~9 t: B8 v% \become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
2 Q0 b  d, w% U( {0 r$ _3 SWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ Y7 ~, y5 v  b- r8 j* r* hno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
- z& B1 w; h' v$ m0 ?/ f$ H5 Z. p6 F
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
, K( b1 l/ ^0 T, j8 h
for life if you play your cards right.

' S( _; @5 J, j! v2 H$ q

8 l  u- a( ~# r
; d5 B( r4 Q7 Y+ q# m: i' i& d** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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5 W8 Z  d' d9 ^8 U# t
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
& A1 n" H" U  N: T4 Eor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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9 Y2 `* \/ N; ~/ z& c1 i

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.