Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
9 P# p! i0 i' \' e3 d9 @3 v# KDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
- r: a  b- R3 _* c7 l4 ~Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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7 d1 q% j* K) V8 y) wpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# g1 B. `* S# C. iCandidates must possess excellent communication
, u2 A+ T0 Y+ E- {& F/ qand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
  g  W; k  e9 T  Q5 a5 z. UThe rest of your life.
9 B2 e: W: {5 @& v( ~  mMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
7 w8 D8 B0 M& _7 C3 f; g& ]Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
* s+ Y1 K- r& a9 {in case, this time, the screams from
. Z) h- ~1 A% }7 W; @: f# J1 `the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
0 t) d, d  ~, J3 W+ k; _; v* vsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 P4 G& M8 R6 ~" w( s4 t' f8 Vand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( r8 ]+ g, H' J9 Hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 n! J4 p) o% g" ^Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
! ^" E+ Y4 N* O2 hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) M+ a  j) {& @8 mjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
' N% e8 ^% u& uNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
- p; e  d$ x/ Wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
5 t4 f  a9 ^; J+ ocan ultimately surpass you.
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+ q! ^- K! y$ L3 ]PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
) F0 l# j* K* ~None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
  F* R8 J1 A1 w" G' `, BOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
( k+ o3 q7 ^+ M  o/ z7 p3 lWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
  S( v0 j0 k& x) @7 H4 T) vThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

- o9 J% \, J1 b, Jfor life if you play your cards right.
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9 d  T3 {7 a$ p) d. ~** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
$ P( P& S0 o/ K# Z4 d- _. Ofor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
1 c0 l; R# r# _9 q1 Uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.