Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
9 B2 f2 I6 g  u& k$ QDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


0 j4 G. ~" x- f! TJOB DESCRIPTION:
. j3 J) a# q6 ]( ILong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
. P( ~+ W% G! h! ^" w$ r9 mand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
/ \* E9 n: F- }! k7 s) g9 N" S& jSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 i; G- R2 Z. U5 Q; B) {0 q$ \endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
0 O1 g7 v0 j1 I# F6 z+ ?3 e7 ?. FMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 e; Y% M1 z& B: V7 w! Funtil someone needs $5.
5 W4 a1 E. ~  t; AMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ z  J( _1 O; y* E( X; P; HAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 s& `  a/ k$ q. mand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 f2 a1 c4 o, @5 N  C2 Pin case, this time, the screams from
( u  s7 B- N! r3 p- Bthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
! D# ]" J. E# `" r; SMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, M0 }, @1 @- [3 qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
& f; n8 w6 |' hand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
" w& V/ `+ ]5 D  jcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- {, D- L+ ?& V0 z7 F) c' HMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 O) I" h! ?. n7 O5 y3 |& ~1 dan embarrassment the next.
$ g6 T9 r2 U: ^! Q: DMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
5 a  o4 W9 w/ f  i1 ^# x3 h; G, nMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
% K  @6 U7 `0 ?; j8 _1 W% f7 ~Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
: @0 `; z/ }; Xjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

5 n, |& R: }" B/ `) PPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
, X9 v8 {: D' T, E( S2 y  SNone.
* J4 i% s2 k; L& q6 p, IYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
! v" e2 F9 @* W" u0 Vwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& D& z" E! @& n5 yNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

8 Y" k2 b5 `) ZWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
+ Y/ b( u6 y& ?/ JOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
  y. I& R6 S! }% u: o8 _When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
* l: X0 ~2 O1 B5 E7 n" `+ w1 U+ w- z/ Oyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

# v  Z! p$ I9 bBENEFITS:
: X% D( k& X; ^8 u  hWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
& d6 _% ~1 R  n1 ]this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

: N2 v9 m* e  D. y. s7 qfor life if you play your cards right.
  n& F  W9 S, {3 v
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; c3 G4 ^) b1 r0 ^; i** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
( M6 l: O& K& A1 V; p5 f9 ^


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
% G: u$ d. w4 y7 X/ ?' W' v. n, N6 _or forward with love
& A* u, ?' A( E+ _& S4 oto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.