 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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# a/ H. @; s; {9 _Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma + H F! m) U+ j) b$ g/ s$ B
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa) R. S( y/ v* D: N+ ^3 O+ S
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
, y( Z; }5 [2 |5 hLong term, team players needed for challenging,9 `$ ]5 j% h3 g8 n( i
5 o5 u" l; h3 E) [& apermanent work in an often chaotic environment. 8 @" A6 N" ?: D- p; Z
Candidates must possess excellent communication 2 f; Y2 D' G3 K' l8 X1 ~
and organizational skills and be willing to work 0 g, D# F3 _( p8 a& i4 ^; F
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends ) D: u5 N# u1 }2 Y
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. ' Y ^5 f8 ?9 a) l, H, v
Some overnight travel required, including trips to ' s. X& H) q9 y- j: L
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 9 J! B2 P* K- }0 W" d
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) y* g% {& O* ^8 d+ y K, O; F& j1 j) V/ nTravel expenses not reimbursed.
* l) ] F$ ]' d DExtensive courier duties also required.
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8 v: m) S" c; O: F1 x% ZRESPONSIBILITIES:1 U# h$ R1 O/ T H6 N* @, m2 ^
The rest of your life. 8 O4 ]7 z1 ]3 x3 q: I5 G3 I
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 8 O' S5 G! G+ \% l ^1 ^! b2 n
until someone needs $5. : i$ u1 q" ]8 Q( s& i9 D
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* Z- J) [# j% R- H& U3 G% i$ JAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 ]4 x: `4 B' s8 o, P' `9 kand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 h" n/ ]6 }0 e+ ~3 Vin case, this time, the screams from " H m4 |! E/ ^8 l _ G
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 8 k J+ i8 S, N0 j8 |: a$ s. f
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 C9 P @; t+ c( b/ Lsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! x3 x) f% ^4 E# g! U- B- y: }and stuck zippers.
0 S- W& M* S3 \) d1 ]Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
3 ]3 i8 m0 }! x/ \. Ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
7 p: X2 P) j& G; GMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
# G- N! C0 Y% c0 n& D! ^3 ?2 ]Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, X2 ]2 Z3 C+ m0 {# ban embarrassment the next.
1 d2 z, H7 N% R0 v" x: A+ zMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a $ a* }* O( u! a( K
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" H5 r* x' ?! M( B( ZMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. + S& t( L/ \, d$ @% p
Must assume final, complete accountability for ' h: q8 r; b. j1 a2 f: s
the quality of the end product.
) e7 W) n$ n6 K+ E, \$ Q+ \9 BResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and - W- ` C3 b* w4 a. u
janitorial work throughout the facility. ) y9 }9 L- C h9 c: I) i
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- I, }& J. h" N+ X8 mNone.
/ s6 Z& F* J: o% O" S6 sYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
- W* ?; O) r0 A; E8 n. i0 h! Hwithout complaining,constantly retraining and $ M- p8 e s! Y2 f5 U# M- M
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
/ A! ^4 }% R. \; Q7 Ican ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: % r' P1 r/ U; d& u
None required, unfortunately. 7 w% s. q2 E) b0 M0 ?* f2 o9 @
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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. T; h" s3 C5 |5 o4 t) @, uWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; ?4 B& L8 A5 B7 F9 w3 J! wGet this! You pay them! 2 ^7 a3 v5 ?. V0 n
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 ]) H" C% Z# Ja balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because W" j8 H# U8 w
of the assumption that college will help them * s8 r6 ^0 P6 P! g- Q
become financially independent. ( e1 Z4 t' q1 K+ E n# T5 p
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
( v# |; s# [ J( AThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that & f h% X$ K+ ^
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 7 l0 j/ ~, ^: Y) \# C2 n6 c
3 I- a& ~8 v' V7 b. E- gBENEFITS: ! D! ~3 u4 y* u. b5 J, q& V: I
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: X6 Y. m" N/ t1 b9 G S9 B4 Kno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) G5 U$ j) y) g$ Tno stock options are offered,
; d2 D) G8 @' v# E' M8 ~7 sthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, - C1 S4 I/ |! [% I/ x
, b5 ^# q" }( L( Vunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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* m$ h: A' e# q$ L8 s# C6 Mfor life if you play your cards right.& I8 u H" O4 c) g; b6 o
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **% p/ b9 u& x) c
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, & }- ^. e E0 G0 ]+ P
letting them know they are appreciated $ A9 h! G L6 @
for the fabulous job they do... : R5 p5 H5 i9 D2 }% @0 R: p- O$ Z
or forward with love / u8 N+ R. P3 V* a P/ |/ z
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
