Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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8 l' p9 l0 F0 u, z7 Z; u  _* AJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
0 m/ d3 R2 e) u: FCandidates must possess excellent communication
' \" C, Q/ f1 cand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
$ I6 K4 o( q, B. t. RSome overnight travel required, including trips to
& Z7 S7 a& G8 {" n$ P( y+ c( }primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
; I5 E5 V% B# c3 }4 F8 [+ X' zendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
& Z6 [8 N6 l8 _; l7 e+ ?, \Travel expenses not reimbursed.
  x. b7 Q4 E; z' |Extensive courier duties also required.
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. H0 ]$ R) n( d$ D, c' pRESPONSIBILITIES:
; s: W1 I! c4 O# r9 y# cThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
5 g$ ^- u4 w! yuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
0 o2 n5 Z- E  B0 V' C+ M8 m2 PAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
) ^! r. _7 k. H0 {( u7 Nand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: J+ z9 |0 L( {+ x1 s, H% \in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
* n5 p  ~8 F* g7 [2 \* Gand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( |* G+ }- S! F4 c  ]/ tMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
2 }! {( b+ s4 m: C( C! C3 F& KMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
& t) a# N0 l$ @- c. D) z/ I4 Zan embarrassment the next.
, s1 T& {$ K- M" _/ J- w& ~; GMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  V" u# w0 x# r- o, A. zMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
) q. k: T! G5 T5 ~* bthe quality of the end product.
6 D5 b4 o4 c4 v) r1 c: m  ZResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
$ C* n8 P; K  r) K7 O/ V4 Q- zjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
! E2 ^' S' @( H9 wYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
# Z  k; t6 v+ ?# @$ Qwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
5 c; {5 K: f" T4 @" Ycan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
8 e7 a# i! j) [6 w" FOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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$ s/ c3 q' W- L6 ^% ^WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
/ {9 j* ?- V" N9 H: K" JGet this! You pay them!
$ W! d8 f$ |1 m$ Q; ROffering frequent raises and bonuses.
& z6 Y$ u* T/ }7 ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& S8 @4 S, e8 O- U* W8 z) |of the assumption that college will help them
2 L9 h+ ]" _2 q; u' }/ L/ E. sbecome financially independent.
$ B5 d' u3 K' nWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
8 N4 \5 [: h! a, A  v- RThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, U/ B6 }1 {+ t$ f% c3 _6 ?you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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. p9 d" s6 m7 t+ D& Y. g; c$ XBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 L. @6 c4 D) gno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
$ j1 D9 }0 j4 X4 l% E
for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
& \& X2 l; O( H" v) d0 T/ x' iletting them know they are appreciated
4 C6 Q* b5 s/ ?4 E/ o1 M+ q9 b0 Ifor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
; C) u$ R. j' z$ \: ~! Kto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.