Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
4 X& Y6 w2 d" y- f8 NMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) y$ j6 J* g9 }9 ?Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
3 K8 g5 r- F  ^' R
$ R* o# T# m  ^& R* B+ |7 r$ x
# k6 k0 P- y# }( M+ r; d) J0 yJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
9 T; x2 S) H  y- C1 P' r2 y4 s7 M6 T  e
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
4 u$ ^7 p$ J+ Sand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
! ^: c9 R2 `& y+ z! D5 Q4 iand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
1 ^& E: r" L. j+ Oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
8 R- o0 ?/ x' o$ u9 W+ \5 D) {6 tTravel expenses not reimbursed.
+ f5 }9 d* P4 q- T( OExtensive courier duties also required.
4 M" c' c: D# Y$ s5 Z( @: i8 s$ Y
5 {8 o: W: {& ~) a; XRESPONSIBILITIES:
9 W" l& m7 b1 ?- q: wThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& F: r1 u: a4 J& d/ q, c: d( Uuntil someone needs $5.
$ k, s! K+ N' `& {! CMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
9 q5 A$ F9 ?  @1 y( @. |9 K0 nin case, this time, the screams from
. {6 z- n8 k# l$ wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
! G5 m/ d% O/ zMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
0 e  n; l' {/ }- K1 @Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- q) Y% j# a7 C8 Q, n/ V3 V' ^) Wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
( l9 r. J# T& b" I* Gan embarrassment the next.
9 e9 `/ w$ `6 Y' N+ BMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" E% f4 s1 ^' q- w. {$ {7 h- N- jMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- ~& B, B  u: `Must assume final, complete accountability for
# I% F6 p4 K0 m$ I$ E# X. {8 jthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 u1 x1 g, T" v% j; \2 Xwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

/ m4 `, L* d2 O5 ~
' w. H  b; r5 T. {4 h/ k  S0 @4 iPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

6 n8 I6 c( O* J8 y2 i; F5 p3 NWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) k! a+ f5 T9 k' S! p, l. ]  R6 XGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
( m1 j" \; Q% I, Rof the assumption that college will help them
! {+ E5 M* H' g2 W6 m' Lbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! S- }; M5 O- x; P4 N9 Xyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
* d. \( p7 n8 H
8 u! P: I3 B# R7 h% qBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
( z2 x/ i9 C+ g( }! c4 Yno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
8 Q! [; R( m5 ]0 A4 X8 ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
8 P; C' T" W- @4 l& G
) a6 g) i$ S/ j4 eunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

9 _  j6 X, p- ^+ p7 `3 b% [& jfor life if you play your cards right.

: ?0 {, j' t" [: V0 K! c


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
, I2 z0 D) l  L2 F* q6 M
, b9 i; m) l  a& J( H* Z- H$ H

) s. T! j( g8 rForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
/ ]. R5 a) [5 q! [* B8 r& Hletting them know they are appreciated
; o( e( ?! f% ?( Z! O" H8 Dfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
/ }. H4 i/ F+ N* e+ o' T) ^8 j$ }

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.