Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
8 G: X& E! A4 q8 l* XMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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: |5 |" j) l7 R5 T/ M( ~JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

" s0 y% P/ \3 Gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- U  u" Q8 i1 W2 ^3 T: Q/ rCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
( N$ `9 N5 X9 ~+ X9 G5 T* B3 iand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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8 m# g3 j& c6 y; x9 y+ s( VRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& ]# }% o: f7 Funtil someone needs $5.
5 X8 X, b# \9 C6 v  C2 ?# [9 `* S4 b3 ?Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" w  Y' H7 U7 }) M* @1 K7 wand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
  t5 e8 ?* p" t: k2 ?# ain case, this time, the screams from
4 l7 }# G+ E' y2 ?7 r  Bthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
9 D8 f8 k' r* t* h9 s6 B/ rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 f4 T, [0 t) p3 oMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
5 ?+ |" w2 r0 M7 L8 |2 ]" WMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ l3 Q. F+ X4 J% X$ X2 Hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
, p8 a' E, U# ^1 TMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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- S9 }5 ?1 D. |3 |POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( R! H) j1 x8 Z% CNone.
; V& K& t& t) U1 q7 m: R# O$ LYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
) t% W: @, }$ ?without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

  N, Z7 P6 N- i# |2 @% V4 u8 u
7 [. H6 Z2 O3 [PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% q& j! s9 X. f/ l6 k; XNone required, unfortunately.
7 Q- u$ n2 q* s, ?* m" \7 q% d( \On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  q, V- ?3 `* Y' ^5 eGet this! You pay them!
9 d* H  |+ |  g& g5 r& mOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ C) p8 }1 g* X% P, Bof the assumption that college will help them
4 K: j- k6 }" D3 g  Rbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% U( J3 s+ q( Q2 b. y, s. Jno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
, B7 `0 G% {- O/ Xthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
+ y% B/ j3 L* B+ u) w& Q
6 ~' C( p' y' Lfor life if you play your cards right.
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% A0 w0 Y7 A  [7 w, b  x8 z** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" e4 g3 Y  a2 r8 sletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
+ o; u: d! o9 K- R+ @or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
$ o6 z' E3 S- T8 L1 R+ B

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.