Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
3 H% q8 n" P( P. y! UMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

; Z4 G2 T* e) N( {# X( M$ _8 F4 V/ Jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
5 U" o0 N' o+ l! T% z* UCandidates must possess excellent communication
, K6 }1 j3 s3 f" D% F+ Qand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
# @6 R% e3 ]5 b$ v6 o; wand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* A5 |! a: ?" v1 lSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 ^: o6 W1 t) R7 sendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
9 C8 ?; C( L( yExtensive courier duties also required.

' k2 W8 _* M# X& k) [RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
7 X9 C9 H: r* a0 \Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 y( M% L3 [. S/ L( y  Nand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
7 W! I5 C! T& c; P7 xin case, this time, the screams from
) U2 c" U" I1 U% g7 `! t5 [the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
' l. K* G8 [" p- yMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
! f8 o4 ~7 |; Gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
' l9 K' z2 E+ k* l- M- RMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ e& {. e$ Q' U1 l4 p& CMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 ~1 Z9 g6 s/ ]+ z8 qMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 N6 V! y3 B/ x" V& t+ {1 }2 ~0 aan embarrassment the next.
7 \& w: k8 n# _, n: k$ aMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ W) T; |. e! |% e: V% Qhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
9 ]; ?/ w: S" R, w; SResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* Z7 D# K# r; h+ `" R" pNone.
4 S' C# a3 a8 p/ q* \4 e- l4 r5 QYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
, @5 d6 g1 I' f4 Y9 zwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ i3 B2 u5 G+ y7 r" N& j4 _2 BNone required, unfortunately.
+ A+ l5 ^3 ]/ X! a. g" l# NOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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4 P4 M6 Y7 \7 {. W. ~WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
1 Z( ?4 \2 Q6 K0 Y. oa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
- V7 @1 S* v6 bWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
" {$ y+ V/ u& `# _0 i) u, wThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
% I1 p- s1 ~6 R, P2 Z. c  ]* t; iyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
  X4 `- B2 w* DWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
5 b0 A. n! j9 |no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
2 x1 _* d' k$ H* N& [9 Jthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

# t3 v' w- m# f2 P9 s* Y: }8 E. ^unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 @- x; |2 s( a( Y6 f% ]5 qletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
* Y" a/ s- y3 S1 g$ `3 W+ i4 For forward with love
) K* C( I5 I) e" i5 pto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.