 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
& h" Y) l: w+ \) I! x: VDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa* n+ C" L" }1 G$ ?7 [
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! u# ]( x! i- J# u, S fJOB DESCRIPTION:7 _" N4 j' x; q/ Z5 E
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
% X W7 U$ p1 B KCandidates must possess excellent communication
$ e! {) q* O- s9 P1 A% f5 C/ Pand organizational skills and be willing to work 8 s) m6 r1 }# U: [3 s* n
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 5 v# z% V3 d0 l- ?+ }2 t/ t
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. ' M5 ~! O8 U4 r, t( q. C
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 6 L7 l5 V6 t2 H
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% c, u" Q1 n+ U: G2 W- Yendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
8 B$ r' U% R, I5 J4 d1 q( i' [Travel expenses not reimbursed.
, b. W! Q+ ~. GExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:' ` a: b2 b# I
The rest of your life.
: s* p! O1 M4 p! p: t9 b" IMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 0 y9 y% `' S7 Q1 g* X5 _
until someone needs $5.
& B( ]5 t4 ^; G" E8 |. IMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
0 a' y" f: j- ^; D# J2 @# ^Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule & e/ n% H. ?) @+ U
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 V; D4 a1 \% ~& H4 k9 Nin case, this time, the screams from / V! @3 }8 x) L& k" Q3 ~& T) \
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ' G1 k) u% q- _$ ]- ^
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 6 r B6 C7 v: T1 B
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 t4 R ` L; _4 C( h! F1 ?! oand stuck zippers. 4 f( \) e/ |" x; @5 Y
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& Q$ f: j+ f( L* R8 i y- P3 wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. 1 Q# F7 \1 ^; ?7 g: {0 ?) m- L
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. . M3 {& r1 [! ^! @( ?# O3 ?
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, - }% r" ` H% h7 ?6 h
an embarrassment the next. 3 j4 ?0 |' \; f8 d4 N
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a ) _! x! r. x' Y6 A/ O
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
8 N# Q7 Z8 _$ H j2 ^2 \Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
% r' Z. U: n- `# I1 p+ m* @Must assume final, complete accountability for + ]( n$ T& X! @9 v1 r
the quality of the end product. : g' [2 b+ T3 B) J0 w
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
; I& n3 i7 E; q/ @" R; m5 S8 z% Ljanitorial work throughout the facility. ' F# Y( t8 b8 q, B. T# _
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
U/ g- q6 V ^" r* U! g- vNone.
0 ]# I O6 D i O' n1 PYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 ?$ m! s5 Z* d0 W" g( m4 b3 Mwithout complaining,constantly retraining and % w3 X5 _9 ~0 O% t7 Q
updating your skills, so that those in your charge 9 p( r8 e' W! s2 P, Y6 K! K9 }! p7 g
can ultimately surpass you.2 Z$ W S) g- Y9 l5 B, C- e
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ w8 y- w% x8 Q7 gNone required, unfortunately.
c5 `( {% G* Z4 vOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 7 {8 ]+ |3 a. K7 g& h
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: ) q3 ?/ ~ W% z. Z
Get this! You pay them! , r7 |6 X! U' G9 _1 u/ E
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. ; p& Q0 g2 k8 q! W
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 2 |+ X$ o) `0 G8 _- x% E6 n
of the assumption that college will help them
3 z% G1 s: }& ~6 h) Y; Bbecome financially independent.
9 v0 Q$ \+ u+ [" }When you die, you give them whatever is left. 6 e. g! G( q0 \. W
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 9 W) w9 R$ V: v
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 5 w7 W1 `9 s3 i! F) t1 v% Q
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BENEFITS:
- v& N |; s% D8 r6 f+ O& u3 IWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" L+ m& s5 C# N8 r0 a+ m- l8 T9 W8 Y- Ano tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# u6 Q* r' l9 g; M- K) Xno stock options are offered,# [0 D( P% ]2 G( m8 E2 q
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, . q. ^% S2 }" u) q
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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, V/ q6 t; T& c' X7 |; }4 d6 t& Cfor life if you play your cards right.; N G" b3 e$ U1 e
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8 W1 T7 e& H# S; J& a/ h9 u** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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% c2 K" H) W& |0 M+ ~Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, + y" C" b1 N4 Q' |
letting them know they are appreciated
, G1 m5 L$ b* X/ T& A. j6 Sfor the fabulous job they do... 3 _4 G- m! T1 _6 C/ I3 f
or forward with love
4 i- |; C8 z5 Y+ D5 Zto anyone thinking of applying for the job.% M4 ]+ l6 o6 }/ |4 m- \" h W6 E
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
