Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

$ \0 d0 Q; W( g4 k7 B+ Ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
: J0 I  |/ t9 G# Y+ \# Dand organizational skills and be willing to work
- d( W1 |: L3 H8 _% l. U5 }variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, o" {+ a; x. N1 Vand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% S1 H/ v2 ]9 _5 Y' m* s, OSome overnight travel required, including trips to
2 |  N8 P, X3 j2 l0 U' S# Y) |primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  r6 H. B0 q0 o8 {% Oendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
( ^" \( P; v& @Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
$ G$ g/ g5 P2 \- t* C' }
# v' I7 a& B- r- TRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
3 V& K0 `. D) h0 B) _Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
9 T  B4 o! R3 T  e; k2 ~7 ethe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
; Z8 r  f$ D( J4 r- X, EMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, ?6 S9 o; U. A# usuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
! t# v7 v- G  l5 _& [Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
. X% S% K, ~! s2 ]- AMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
0 J& ~- f) ~* hMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ }  G$ U" j$ {8 x, X7 ], qMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
6 F3 M5 n' {; u: _: |1 H8 mNone.
+ K/ G& ^$ }& ?. j5 _; x5 L: |Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
) l# U" V9 v5 B! s$ ]2 T: A0 y% iwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
* _& N5 g4 E8 G2 P  ~updating your skills, so that those in your charge
( R* ^! _4 b( ^4 t2 m0 acan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ o( W3 @6 k6 qNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

$ C1 j; i, E" e* ~) F2 }. FWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
2 T/ J/ e" d0 NOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 C; c4 I8 F% a- o: a! I6 \( u; f  rof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
5 s" d8 O; {& z4 T0 p, o$ \
+ G8 Q& r7 p3 `4 ^* v5 Y6 b( oBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
! P: H% _, C. b1 a4 f  r* f7 B" Mno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
3 C6 c. U) V1 Vthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
6 C* B- W$ n8 x4 N* F" K1 g( s
2 q1 }2 S% v' p5 o/ H/ zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

* ]/ K' b. y; c. Z3 pfor life if you play your cards right.


* J. K' {7 k% D( [

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


; _& b1 d0 K+ e4 R& M
  m: V% g  `" {Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
6 x; ^* u9 V$ q4 s; ffor the fabulous job they do...
3 R. e5 k. b: [$ p; x2 L8 Qor forward with love
/ _. M) P) H1 b- D" Gto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.