Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
6 D" P* W% k* A' k  @3 wMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
. A8 ^$ `6 Y) g1 PDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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0 t) C) U8 t, O# W  c$ H7 R: kJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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, u- T0 Y  h+ _2 I% l: n+ Fpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
6 A- \  A3 {9 m# R# h" B) [and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 [" Z# U8 q$ R8 D# p8 Land frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
  I8 |/ }# H, c  F3 BSome overnight travel required, including trips to
8 I0 R7 N% V" ]6 I5 ^$ ^primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
; z; Q  I  r7 k% o$ OTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
- ]$ A) Z2 I2 R+ VThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
/ ^5 w) F. X8 w' S6 Q" D8 Tuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- `7 T5 o& l% A  B; X5 tAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 Y* ~1 u4 }1 dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
7 M' M. K) a4 A8 AMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# ]3 a* r/ [1 T" ]2 PMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
$ @2 D$ u9 P% Q0 b& a0 \0 FMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
" x7 J# }7 K& H7 h1 @Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
# y! l8 J5 \, t+ A) r+ y, }Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 z% `# T% j) a3 E# t) \Must assume final, complete accountability for
: e. W" L  q0 s( k9 x7 Ithe quality of the end product.
% ~3 ?* _2 E) N+ q2 L  h2 ?Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
% ?/ _1 M1 b: ]0 kNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
0 }' n7 n. H9 o' H7 wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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0 Y; {* c& T) X  n' ^PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
" _: H" M5 V) ]* u) d( V  }8 ]On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
- U5 a" ]5 S) V, s3 ^; X$ WGet this! You pay them!
* A* d" b0 D0 H$ O- b& R& COffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 ?( A1 h* `1 f7 s8 n3 wof the assumption that college will help them
9 R6 \' b0 {5 D! f* fbecome financially independent.
. N" J6 x8 w( \6 v4 Q- EWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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' o3 w- Z5 k0 E% O* ~9 OBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
! p) E' Y. p8 T7 sno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 O" [% P7 s5 f' w( Rno stock options are offered,
1 p( J6 e! X7 N# Rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

' Y3 }2 o- D4 n6 c2 k1 f0 Xfor life if you play your cards right.
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. f; L' J; V+ {  z6 ]( Q** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
3 Z; y* E* O8 K) Q, Pfor the fabulous job they do...
5 ?8 |- G8 w1 L3 Tor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.