Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
; ^2 v1 E. U+ ?$ rDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
: t" r$ n3 ]' I$ n( z& uLong term, team players needed for challenging,

0 L- c8 H, K2 s& Gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
6 ~! K" S# s& S! DCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
: H! J+ q6 J$ a" ivariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
, l8 ]( D& f& F9 B8 e7 N0 `endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
! V. C" m9 D7 g6 wExtensive courier duties also required.
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. y* z3 A0 T( z3 q( ]+ t/ z4 v4 zRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* I; C1 D# \. q3 \3 r3 Y4 v' _until someone needs $5.
) [/ a# [  G, z5 SMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( R. q& p, P: NAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
5 ^0 V% |/ O; x# r/ Y  }and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ v+ b1 h( b( t9 m4 G3 E+ G2 f3 ^Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 F8 I' K9 s+ m' j! L' ~0 Csuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
9 a0 u: u- s# J: y+ ?half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& ^/ h6 L) F8 F5 K. o! l: SMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) X" I( x1 y( D/ r9 a7 I$ XMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 o" q* ]5 p: {- \* Djanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
6 p4 Q" g# M) m9 CNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
# Z# s* \- `9 \4 b3 j) t( [- T* nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
' C# M* M7 c1 i- M0 h1 Ican ultimately surpass you.
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% i2 E4 r! z. r# D' B% {5 k; Q# o; VPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" _) u/ W& n5 [9 W/ rNone required, unfortunately.
/ A9 y0 Y/ g7 H  B* g4 pOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

0 W' p; C% p  n9 BWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
" u" F9 D$ V% V. \( wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
  w5 r+ U# L1 W  A( Z8 hThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" D/ V- |3 ?) oyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 R; D+ u2 u, W! L3 I9 uno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
- k+ H+ Q5 m8 Z8 [no stock options are offered,
' q0 p5 g* o" Kthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
: p9 x: @: E" H9 @! C$ pletting them know they are appreciated
9 G* T/ X/ c, b2 V2 gfor the fabulous job they do...
/ i: c7 U) c0 s1 B' S; _& d- yor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.