Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
4 z, {- Z$ z0 i" _. LLong term, team players needed for challenging,

" w+ s# H+ D! m, N" \- E. ?permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
8 z5 D! x0 V, GCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
% @  q7 [' t* h7 ]+ Evariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
$ }- R( }. y" n: ^* ?0 Q5 aand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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6 j  D3 K& f1 |RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
5 W, Z2 g/ k" y4 |7 g# `Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 q; f. z9 a% d& Lin case, this time, the screams from
2 L/ m1 u: u% R" D' V$ |the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 N1 u2 Y3 |4 E3 g+ i2 \1 R  Z$ BMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
9 E4 @  ^/ C( h2 P# S  L7 s" Csuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
( D  _8 H8 J4 y3 k5 l* z. wand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
6 {' U6 q% E6 U0 M5 C* mMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' M: [. a$ `% f7 \* w6 Fhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! y1 z8 @9 F. \- qMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
  T: I% N3 O; qthe quality of the end product.
$ Q4 j# w& r; z: |7 w7 bResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

; r' f# u" Z: kPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
4 _- \( {  I8 f: h4 eNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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  p8 a0 M: q2 d- K* ^  A8 wPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
1 n0 z4 T( L+ a, ^On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' R& ~# k  E+ L" N- F/ |" s( YGet this! You pay them!
# E2 x1 c8 Y- b9 I9 TOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ k: J' D2 ]# xof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
: ^6 Y9 M: `5 CWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 y) B1 _+ c1 F, |( e2 T" ^The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 g9 x3 Q* V' W  z7 c; D; |7 ]you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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+ i, F' D8 y9 N% x: }2 l5 `+ EBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% h3 E: a6 V4 A; ^: Z) ]0 zno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
2 z9 U5 W! \8 D/ b- D* ano stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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. q- w7 Q; Z# W% p, Cunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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6 n) E( t/ D. I7 ~for life if you play your cards right.

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  [4 @+ j) u" f& q** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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, e* _8 v$ y' S' c3 e: e9 JForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
4 ~& f& s* {+ L, O0 `( b: h+ @1 bor forward with love
$ V5 T5 Y! X5 d4 N( g( ~7 q0 lto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.