 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma + ? ?/ X) }/ x6 I' x
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa T% A' ]$ E9 Y9 w4 z" m
. d0 d4 ?" ?7 M8 q) e A! v( w, k- E. X5 k3 r
JOB DESCRIPTION:
: W0 i/ B( ]; e( p" ?5 P2 DLong term, team players needed for challenging,
. p3 z$ B; l' G/ F8 s- W% O2 j' L7 G$ L. Y- M
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ Y: x2 O4 m7 ?Candidates must possess excellent communication 6 r9 Y3 i* Z7 J$ v2 }1 h) _
and organizational skills and be willing to work 7 C, l! j7 o2 j: P" |. |2 n
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
; e$ _) X4 A7 ~4 ]and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" v0 N. j* Q+ }/ }Some overnight travel required, including trips to
( x, o+ l, n! z/ ?' tprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
, j* i' a( f9 Q4 t6 Tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
w H! U4 S% L' Q1 `Travel expenses not reimbursed. * r$ o4 M- |9 O0 K
Extensive courier duties also required.
) N9 T4 u" s& i3 f9 Y# }( z) k2 A7 g3 Y2 k2 O' p
RESPONSIBILITIES:
& ~( P; j5 ?& n. m0 tThe rest of your life. 1 {7 m! R5 k7 Q0 c1 O8 E! d
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 9 K( ` e' P5 D7 `$ u8 s
until someone needs $5.
/ N* v# A- L/ @1 e2 F: r5 }( |9 XMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
9 j7 K4 N5 F% f8 N8 u0 `. vAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ' M( e- L& e% T
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
# `! I3 W+ `+ {1 n% }8 h ]in case, this time, the screams from
0 G- b$ G* s9 U, \+ x3 `" F- J% qthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
) D. S) Q; V% y; Y. @6 LMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, X& U+ k L7 E ^2 |such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 Z$ Q& b7 m' I. cand stuck zippers.
f, _ X9 V# v% _! nMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% @: D6 P6 C7 G' F- _+ O% N. Ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects. 8 H2 ^! r: x; G- C
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7 m* p; E; A% o0 [2 S% A9 W& Y9 aMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' P0 r8 l4 \2 @$ ran embarrassment the next. 8 |: H# y3 V2 n! u+ g; n
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 9 b4 z5 V! n! R8 V! u/ z# E
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& K( @( R2 d m$ ^/ ^/ O8 d0 wMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. + f1 E) U/ Q7 _, V0 d& U
Must assume final, complete accountability for
5 J6 f4 V' {* P' V. jthe quality of the end product.
4 Q5 T: P' y) y5 dResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
& i4 Q, |8 s- K) w( ^janitorial work throughout the facility.
5 q' j; t5 ~: t
0 C. B" S" _6 W/ c$ KPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
& _5 A b& h& i" p2 H& {None. / y3 q& c" L P' X$ R
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, t) R* F/ L) M9 ^: L
without complaining,constantly retraining and
# F1 q0 B; u/ D7 T9 Supdating your skills, so that those in your charge
% k- h3 T- u) g+ a3 Mcan ultimately surpass you.4 j" u/ G6 R+ B
- h B% m" c3 W& |4 @% ?8 j
8 L/ Z$ E, Z0 j3 ?
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% f+ |$ o. q* `None required, unfortunately. , _ \' ]3 `' W) E5 W
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. : A2 I8 w- d X$ S% ?
! j; A* n6 G& E' O. d9 D& i3 t) [
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
6 m' t7 M; D, l: t/ tGet this! You pay them! 8 w) S: p# M* X
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. 4 `" d. e+ S7 g5 m) I
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because & l3 T. L! D1 ~; c. {
of the assumption that college will help them 1 b' A1 f+ s `; N5 K: E, M
become financially independent. 5 L1 f3 P l% z' O% a t) u
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
+ s+ P0 N- C2 g' R; DThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ?$ _9 T$ K- N9 [$ [
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. $ Q; Y4 D* E, d8 n* {& F- B" k
5 h/ F" c# L# d0 b7 e/ a8 u
BENEFITS:
; f! c' K5 V+ H& J( K- b* WWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
$ m3 W6 |0 p- e, |8 Vno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# r3 o* Q' j$ }+ yno stock options are offered,+ }) a1 w5 W4 M/ T
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
4 p0 g0 A' Q. H3 P& i( _, c# q4 o+ e5 k7 y0 ]& G) n. h6 v/ k
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
9 h7 u& T5 C: k9 f5 s: t5 E( g/ l5 h0 l7 o3 c2 k$ s/ Q
for life if you play your cards right.
7 s/ y; T6 j9 W* T! P$ w
$ v( H( w, f5 o7 B- H* k 0 ^+ j- z, f, x; A- E B
0 o0 _9 ], s; `8 q9 U- S0 Z+ G
4 S" f2 Z$ B. R& ~
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
( Z0 ^& t8 u$ I# @) F3 s
, ~7 e; I) r" \0 R0 w& \, c, u+ F * A) u$ {$ |0 J% q) G; n! W
" |% j2 |- m% ^8 i
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 D/ h# }8 H; l+ b9 ?letting them know they are appreciated
; B; f' N4 r" U' A3 _6 mfor the fabulous job they do...
) C8 l$ ]. Q5 z" G. [! bor forward with love 9 C3 T* g3 m+ o
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.( ~2 ~, _ u6 p h# p2 _
1 b. u3 L- c e1 ], ^
|
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
