Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
* L$ G$ r/ H1 l, [Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% l: e3 _3 }1 o3 [' W/ ^5 w8 \$ tDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


6 i3 |% p1 L' B! c* a" z+ `- rJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

/ ^7 R% K# i1 {permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 ^. Y! J( _/ _& U* u& a6 \Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
2 a, S( W( V  U  e( nvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 t* Q6 {0 S: P* X3 U8 |Some overnight travel required, including trips to
9 o6 x+ X3 |1 ^9 [7 j2 q9 |primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# [. M% K, W' K; R1 Tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
4 g( o# q3 _/ B/ Y# t' l) E' t" MExtensive courier duties also required.
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3 Z- A" z% l0 J5 N* w5 Q: v+ yRESPONSIBILITIES:
* ?0 w+ U' |2 j& P3 g2 j2 G1 M3 QThe rest of your life.
2 |# t. C$ h7 ?Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
. {" o" h: L$ Q4 Q6 Nuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
4 `8 Z* j: {' B3 sand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 l) s! S( q  T" {& e1 e; I1 TMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: R/ Q: J1 I7 S% |3 O/ y. n, tsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 q1 n& m' G; y5 ]; Eand stuck zippers.
9 I; c7 b+ ^; y' i( rMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# F: R4 R' t: o6 \6 Rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  u# h+ p. @, V7 U" PMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! b6 I7 Y8 j9 yMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
8 V2 F, [6 V0 B; F) Van embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- A6 Q. ~# p0 f! Q6 U# m/ O3 Nhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
1 o9 E- ?" y1 Z4 ~0 I6 n9 N" h0 zResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

6 u/ c4 r5 h7 x9 U: S' J( W( _POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
. ^0 D3 `+ B$ l1 h* mNone.
; k$ I* a7 w' S+ U7 EYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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7 u2 ~0 J" v, ]  EPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
  n' J! m6 K, U! Y) s6 a/ r9 |: iNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
) V& b7 a. y9 C% na balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
0 W( P/ g* u6 f. Iof the assumption that college will help them
6 m* o2 r8 g+ ~6 T! H) mbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
5 Q; h4 x  e( N0 L6 o* W3 MThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

0 g3 C, o! z% k' E& q( FBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
9 T; X0 T7 f$ D* c' g: Z9 qno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
* k) P: a' ~8 A  s1 [$ x5 S, u
* Z6 I0 }4 @/ w' Kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
' P- M# ^" F$ t" A7 V: |
% E! J8 J9 J3 G( x/ S4 n% ]for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 D4 ^  j+ ^) C) K- V4 Vletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
) y( ^2 Q! R' _( B$ X- y5 `1 wor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

2 u0 ^, m9 o) y7 M% y

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.