Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
1 Z7 e6 r; _6 {6 w5 eMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


+ H* p0 H* C% v8 Q3 u' Y3 A  wJOB DESCRIPTION:
5 y  X2 W$ ]/ b, k8 X0 j; w6 V8 RLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
% a0 A, r7 d5 f! x) iand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
( B+ J; a; k- b; p% cand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
( P# Z6 g2 W, X+ L# h. TSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
* O- i( _/ \5 iendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

: Y, R! H2 E, d5 mRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
' k+ Q: e$ w4 lMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 o9 c" G9 t2 Q- H8 g4 Z  Duntil someone needs $5.
5 g1 D& D9 c7 {" P% `& ^Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
% n2 ?2 K% G6 U; }  P* s( N! EAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 i/ }3 `) [* ^. H$ J) d8 cin case, this time, the screams from
; N; U+ V+ W3 c1 y4 i4 i; i; c- Q- Tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
" J9 }9 l  W( {' ^( hMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# P9 m6 Y4 _  ^! M( W9 Rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. ]6 N2 n2 ]  U' ^6 f7 ]8 j* nan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. R8 R0 h. h( X) {janitorial work  throughout the facility.

- n( ?* }# g  lPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 e' J6 Q( V* D4 Z5 }  O8 tNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
3 ^7 u& x2 Y/ Q) y. vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
9 s2 F% l; _1 n- Y4 a1 M% N4 tcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
" H6 p+ A+ G* P3 I4 z. {7 P
9 e5 d2 e1 d; |WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
$ R3 R5 Z: X7 `7 z7 N- jOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 `; X) q. f- Va balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
( J+ E. N, Q8 b  O" \2 oof the assumption that college will help them
! h2 z* Q% |, n2 m# \6 t1 k# ?become financially independent.
+ \/ V* {, W+ i( {9 F! ^  LWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. ?# K: z% i1 W# \0 a1 Hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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$ x& G2 x, o0 u: HBENEFITS:
* K! R  D, a* pWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
" `0 H% @2 H* r, d' gno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
4 j1 z( S7 M8 ^4 L% I; @" x
- K' g* `0 `8 L7 T8 z& Yunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
) {; V! o$ g' x- |
: y' }$ T6 ?4 N$ Ofor life if you play your cards right.
5 ~/ C8 ?  |; y: `5 @4 C% g5 _
" L, a+ y( e% d4 ~, E3 U


: @6 M& M" l" _7 Q) c6 o** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
0 P  z6 [6 W5 I* x


& {/ q; G( S3 M( g" |* T7 v' JForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
- o1 A- `! M7 ifor the fabulous job they do...
' A9 [- h% d7 B# r9 f- @* J# N% {or forward with love
( r+ i  _. P( x) R  G7 Lto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

% j$ \' d2 {: H3 _) v- m3 F

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.