Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% a3 O$ s! B- K7 wMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
, ?6 \6 s: g8 S0 e+ w& X7 l! ]Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


: J* l: g. |4 Q& Q. nJOB DESCRIPTION:
- @- _  [; u' c7 `) \/ T" I9 ^' ELong term, team players needed for challenging,

. C/ l* `  C2 _! opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
0 V, u! F3 L* U6 ^* Ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
! h& i" d3 K$ j' i9 u. X  VExtensive courier duties also required.
. X1 O1 U$ _9 k+ N2 t
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
% A6 U$ Q& E9 g3 B$ q" E7 aMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
( W3 S" `5 P6 ~/ l0 EAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. r; S. G1 `. |# C( i5 N3 rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
# }( G6 F6 V6 w) o. ein case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
  U5 P7 ~0 @$ BMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) I/ h9 C2 |2 b' h* Z* k; O' B; tand stuck zippers.
6 G3 e/ k" `1 Y, y3 s/ f( sMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
! n, t+ i5 G/ Q; ]Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' n* `4 p; |  C4 YMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
- }  c0 z; d4 k% can embarrassment the next.
6 H1 ~9 D- j" x$ C" ^! W1 dMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
" m+ ~0 k$ s0 t$ |; U# C- R9 f( ~Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* |: Q% ?3 O7 _1 fNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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, a7 A0 ^8 Q+ f. q- y; U! J' nPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
+ \- |9 P" J  A, L! g, P( e
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 S" i& e: ^. f" UGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
% W2 [" h0 ~: Ta balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
0 p) W, Y6 y2 eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
- E& S" g9 Z& C1 J1 s0 R4 x
) }* j, S4 e* tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
* I, v1 \* ]! o/ b$ N9 H& f( q
: I- y8 y4 W% Q2 Pfor life if you play your cards right.


" ~  G, \" m) ~5 b2 h
; E& _$ V5 t7 i
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
& n2 y$ A# P8 J# V

4 m) ~# h# c! a/ [% ^1 A# u% l! X
- B& ~+ t5 [: V1 G( S9 k) [Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
+ Q( m" q9 p% a2 R" ofor the fabulous job they do...
, S! ]4 \4 w, d, k6 W# T0 d- }or forward with love
, Z: _: U: j) D, w2 nto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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8 }& j! Z0 a5 R$ z

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.