Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
+ Z) Q- {$ z. R2 K! IMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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: c9 D& g( p6 ]4 t; M6 ^* [- AJOB DESCRIPTION:
& |3 S$ ~2 a+ ZLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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3 i; e& V' `( @permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" v7 v( f: D0 y5 ]/ o6 j# ^Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
9 {( H# p% W& s$ |( t8 xvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
; C6 ^; H2 N  d6 i" x5 k7 Hand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
4 P' l  O1 Q" s+ Xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  x7 L7 ~( r9 x7 Y7 @7 o9 w2 eendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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' u5 j- R, o7 C6 RRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
  t; u; b+ W1 s$ U: uuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
) z3 m! u9 ?* s& E" GAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
: B5 n9 f8 T7 s- o9 d. v4 W9 ~3 v6 h: @the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
% T8 Y4 U" M3 q7 \/ JMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
2 r# p; c; c2 z. b6 NMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 U8 Q! ~8 M- `coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# F; W5 F3 T* Y2 T  rMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
* \7 K( p0 Y% XMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
, C: p0 O" T9 N- E0 `; {% ?6 LMust assume final, complete accountability for
: ]: ?4 I0 F+ G" \+ d9 @& Fthe quality of the end product.
, U" K1 }$ @; k/ C% k1 Q0 g. q5 _3 ^Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
  `, M' f+ w0 O. P) p2 G' Wjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
* A% c, E" T) {; ?: |+ Pupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
. q" N  g9 j# [+ W1 `can ultimately surpass you.
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6 Q2 r( E) u) \6 iPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; |$ A2 u: N$ h3 tNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

* d. n7 ^' a9 q+ s- p0 KWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
/ R7 p6 w  d# _2 K6 |Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
2 v# w2 Z3 e! e5 M$ d4 ~When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% U( |" t. K1 W+ c' c' Z7 qno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
2 ]* Z( E  a# K# }3 D; w% qno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
  U' Q, G8 d: E3 M- Y
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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4 \6 X9 D. V. F' V) h* a** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



8 Y# H  l$ P; e8 j/ r2 M& t! G9 }Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
! W" B2 E; U3 e6 z! p4 Qfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.