Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
- i. c0 ?2 l- s# _/ `% |# d$ ^Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


4 N: k. |0 T+ x' X/ p0 @JOB DESCRIPTION:
( t5 D. a8 I( H- h9 C$ uLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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$ G/ x* e8 N* a% Kpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
$ e7 E5 B5 u8 \4 i" u7 }Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* T" x' G) O6 ?9 ~+ Land frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
  D" E: ^$ h8 G/ {Some overnight travel required, including trips to
+ \* g/ m/ V0 f; U5 Iprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
8 w9 |( |" q0 s$ c( q4 wThe rest of your life.
7 z' K2 v7 d* h% j5 OMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
( W+ z& g) l( Juntil someone needs $5.
, E' P4 W% p3 i% d; ~Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
; D* L4 u/ _2 I8 v6 `Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
8 C& |8 a8 j5 F" O( S# ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
3 O" I1 [+ e9 e2 `, ~( U. s+ W" oMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
+ K; F% l2 H. y& X$ N6 C( T- ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
, R; }0 A0 \/ Q: O5 j: `Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
4 Q9 Y) f" s' {; |! EMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
; `2 l, a, P) O+ l9 Shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
1 u& D7 t' G" ?  `4 A% sMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

4 d% y; g: S+ Z- WPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
* h4 `' k5 w; r: m+ Qupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
2 L% k( t6 {8 W  ~. `; N) Gcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
/ e. ^6 N7 D( @On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

* W/ h8 w% V+ V) h/ B' Q) HWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& @+ m) W; C! Eof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
; a: x" l/ V: m) G4 eWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
: W8 M. K5 Y; E) X9 P7 I: T4 TThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
+ W5 O5 t+ E2 P4 j" d' ], ~( \6 RWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
8 z' G7 R- u/ m" m2 j) m) pthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
4 }5 J, N/ e) f8 i
- Z6 z; ?, u7 k+ w* z* B/ Efor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
( t4 V/ B2 X& ~* x* e3 J4 for forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.