Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
- m% P/ R0 ^3 _) b0 y" F% T& [# mMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

* H5 g* J3 l: D: B7 I, |1 o2 y7 @' ]
JOB DESCRIPTION:
& G3 M9 h1 r6 T8 G- GLong term, team players needed for challenging,
  ?% L5 e/ a2 m0 D8 ?
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 q9 o3 |" v  [; HCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
9 P) i6 }1 Z7 C9 I- r- ^2 rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 n6 u$ ]5 I6 dendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
! Z  N- e3 z) ^# G. K5 X
RESPONSIBILITIES:
; i; X9 I* D; t. ?! cThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
: M$ g: k, T% f# s7 O! SMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
1 d3 p6 |5 _) d* H! D6 K7 |Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* Q5 f6 |4 [6 t$ ~$ w, A0 J+ ~0 e% cand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; U* o/ y6 Z. _# o( n, l* {in case, this time, the screams from
: ?( K  Q6 F7 o2 Y& othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  c4 M  B1 R$ N4 Q- xand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
6 k6 v9 r+ G' e4 f# eMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 W: }7 E1 D' s: h  bMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
: ~2 W( o) b- ]Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
; o( U8 \& I* `without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


1 i+ F" G. o+ s9 PPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
: p% b9 J9 J4 D! rOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

. a- g5 I9 O) G+ i' [7 UWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
+ i" M1 y3 D% ~! b0 t/ Y+ uOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
0 I' Q4 W" o* SWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" ^+ H9 \0 M; v3 m1 B4 x" wyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
( K3 }4 z6 t0 K6 e
BENEFITS:
- d6 l- I+ q' S9 n- y# NWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
& H% ^1 Z% [7 Rno stock options are offered,
0 l# |: j' O" w9 _8 M9 T! ythis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

( N4 ~" \, Z3 `6 w; G7 `! d% C

8 r( R; a# u! `3 B) T
5 F# L8 Y! |' e) U/ D. Q- t1 X3 G** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


* o4 _( ~2 W+ V- }) P( {: p
' T0 A" \$ m/ {2 f- ~Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" M* d# [2 x* Z: h* ]letting them know they are appreciated
# U$ S1 m4 I4 p+ ~- ?  {" Afor the fabulous job they do...
. g$ M/ |- J* r" i+ uor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.