Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
6 K+ z, C: l7 E0 P2 E5 eCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
) ?, W9 l# h2 Avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 ]) Q; t! A2 P; k% H4 N' _' Wand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
7 i. v7 H* a( V5 j, Y( \, C, Yprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, U7 x6 l9 G! c/ a# r5 qTravel expenses not reimbursed.
) b" K* ]- E! |2 A* pExtensive courier duties also required.
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5 ]1 z/ Q0 W; h  I4 tRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
$ {8 d4 q( N  m8 \! I! zMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
, |0 d" P) S5 R7 w/ {) Kuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 N* n( O6 H( G( o" ^. E* xin case, this time, the screams from
5 c8 X" C6 j7 gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
5 |5 `; o* f2 a8 \6 S, Ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 Y3 u+ k9 ?2 \and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# y  K' s1 ~/ n( @coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
1 n) x; |3 i: B( J8 }Must assume final, complete accountability for
; h5 x0 a. V4 \the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 P/ I6 p/ E- n/ Jjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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! K) V; C) v+ m+ B8 ?POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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+ w. N% O9 E) ]4 h0 tPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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/ s. M& \' h4 c8 P% TWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 x4 i9 J) F- P. C9 U+ fof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 `; s6 a1 W" d# V5 n1 Z( d3 d  xThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. F+ z3 [: v8 Pyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
' v0 K" }+ F9 s. uWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
0 S* ^4 H+ o* s# z. x( xthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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6 w1 v7 A8 g) h; g8 w: Gunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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( e3 T7 T& c. L( ^3 Bfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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3 P8 d8 U% p1 H" [/ H. sForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ q" f+ Y6 Y8 c8 f" G1 B5 W8 Fletting them know they are appreciated
& X; C+ F2 Z# J4 K9 h9 L) i- Ofor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.