 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
: s! e5 Q0 X, r* b9 n# qMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
. s" d$ B* l5 v K, d! ^6 EDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa1 O. H" p( |. V: ]
9 ?/ ?% ?9 J: ^0 n, U$ u' ?/ w: P0 b" y
JOB DESCRIPTION:
# q5 S0 @) O' sLong term, team players needed for challenging,+ m1 W* \& t8 q9 w
Y8 }( r+ v: A' `1 f5 h9 ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
0 i1 x/ |# l- q, C3 uCandidates must possess excellent communication 9 f, x% T, k& {% X# d$ ^- ?: t
and organizational skills and be willing to work 0 `4 X* L! S* q
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 H3 _2 O( p9 `. C& H# [and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. . h# q; O8 p) X, K1 o
Some overnight travel required, including trips to # ^$ a! q5 y" | }- ?" A" L4 N$ f
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and ' K7 V& j; p( {5 l, [2 n2 G
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 J2 J/ X$ @2 P4 c H. ZTravel expenses not reimbursed. , B! i3 _" N: `$ Z) P$ O/ Q
Extensive courier duties also required.
$ ~! S* `8 O& l `# L5 x8 f
5 W. v8 S" g* G# M# Q: tRESPONSIBILITIES:. U- @+ `; Q& I5 _2 h- m
The rest of your life.
: H& A$ i5 n$ L6 N" zMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ' [. t% k: |: X+ E( Z
until someone needs $5.
8 w$ a5 l8 r) K0 RMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 0 X. ^' Q3 \2 x+ i- ?) w
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule / L/ [+ D. _! s* K( @5 l
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
) ~+ k, d9 T4 ^+ j# }: Y% \in case, this time, the screams from 4 O6 @$ F# V* E* o3 ]/ D& B
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. & M' P" j( I' h& O, p- u) l
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
5 @! J; Z+ ^9 t0 Qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets . p9 e- A% p5 X2 G$ j
and stuck zippers.
1 r8 \4 M; v( Y& |! q1 d* vMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& R. ~1 b, e8 S+ X4 }0 r, Lcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% d% c) L: R1 g4 BMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
/ k/ x, |! \0 M6 iMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 6 Y+ f9 R- O E1 A- X' j3 e( }& n
an embarrassment the next. 5 L9 L7 Y+ ^/ R9 H* T6 Z; \) v5 J
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 5 i$ c- j- d+ k7 h4 U8 J
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% }6 g4 c" O' q; F5 \# A% GMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. + p: d- Y/ L2 A- t# O4 V* J) I0 i
Must assume final, complete accountability for 1 c- S7 Z9 H9 [0 R# a1 N5 F; j
the quality of the end product. # A9 k+ A7 V8 R, X: T5 ^- A7 i, ]
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 t H( l4 U* ijanitorial work throughout the facility.
; p* E0 Y( F; X0 V* V3 S" d+ Z2 s" o; i8 b, N
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* I! p5 x3 q: e% M( ]1 `None.
! s: V, p5 S5 h# G( \3 q! w/ VYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
7 i( n" H: P$ m4 pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
9 R+ s1 {1 z5 c" F/ ~6 ~6 D, Xupdating your skills, so that those in your charge . y+ e. X6 }* Q0 ?
can ultimately surpass you.
) I7 K( F8 U0 o) \3 n7 m
$ y" h$ C ]% v( {3 c- h3 g3 ^: X/ [ x9 | y" K- j. O
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ m8 ^9 j- |- N3 l, tNone required, unfortunately.
0 A R7 i; S; x. S: E8 QOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
1 _2 N0 Y T; R* i5 Y1 s4 @6 Y% ?0 `* E
WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 6 _& o" E7 v" X+ g" l7 `# Q
Get this! You pay them!
" l& N& C- Q! c8 d; V) g' ZOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 i. u/ |5 R6 ]' }7 ua balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. k# x! a2 ?- lof the assumption that college will help them & |6 U6 ]0 N Q( s& ]' d
become financially independent. # X& Y2 K- R+ q9 S& i
When you die, you give them whatever is left. 0 U# ]: W$ z9 P- v+ C
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
& `% B2 [# t" hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. & e" Z7 p) e& s9 e- t+ K6 z3 {. W
; U% g) M7 q; [9 V) x
BENEFITS:
: l0 j3 @ G( `! f: I: S* G7 D7 WWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ' M( B1 b$ k9 L2 D! V% f
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and " f4 s% _7 b; H% V% F7 y
no stock options are offered,% p8 P9 L9 J: h0 D6 e2 L
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, ' s7 }9 @8 _+ K
) D1 ]8 @$ S' I( S# O+ u+ ?
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses $ k V( ^9 j9 Y; X
+ M1 H% M1 ^8 `: e- g$ Afor life if you play your cards right.8 J: v7 q# X2 p- D8 I3 H0 ?
; L4 }5 B3 E! I $ ?8 n" u) }9 t, v& T7 b! F
7 M5 x/ W/ i# H# @; k& o8 x4 ]
; \! v9 g0 Z/ M** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
0 V% } X( U: j9 ~$ C
* t3 y" G6 C" u: t' M3 z; ]2 ~
7 [: j# W# J/ S% H' U, ~* T" m. A- m \" `# l8 B0 ~
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 3 T7 K9 n- e4 Y, Y" x
letting them know they are appreciated
) e* r, A$ D+ Zfor the fabulous job they do... 2 B# C# l5 B, R8 P
or forward with love
( b! `, N2 c( D4 y+ L8 Uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
2 R$ j3 { C4 {/ k% G/ D9 i9 H( M+ d2 o
|
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
