 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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$ E. a& \3 h5 u) N7 gMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ G0 h+ F9 r- ~4 z3 SDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa2 ^- L( A2 B" Y. V3 v) n! t
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7 Y/ c9 D) R: o+ C- l. D1 |3 }1 yJOB DESCRIPTION:
; V# v8 V. j. r. m8 D) CLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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% @2 q0 W6 C3 p ~# w# f8 K' Spermanent work in an often chaotic environment. 5 v/ b, b& z, M1 N
Candidates must possess excellent communication u1 c" s$ O4 b0 L5 m- Q6 Y
and organizational skills and be willing to work 2 u% n+ x. o# g
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends , l& ^/ w8 P7 q+ A! L* j
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 5 K8 S0 l; I. Y% `
Some overnight travel required, including trips to & ~: N( `9 T4 ?. j
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and ; v+ a g/ d. w% I2 R
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
i8 _/ j8 w0 L: j2 B" }9 pTravel expenses not reimbursed.
5 Z: v3 q. Z6 X- c1 FExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
# ~: O2 j* j' k" O; dThe rest of your life. 1 r# A4 I: F, l4 ^! S
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, 5 N/ q% @- B0 z% b' s9 F
until someone needs $5. 7 L& [6 J9 v4 h4 V2 c0 _
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
; X8 Q! V& E: j6 ~0 T) TAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ' g4 d* h( g3 \. i% J
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ B/ ]5 y# ^5 h. lin case, this time, the screams from / I, P: t1 A: g+ U* y# E
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ! {7 h# ~; C: Y* }/ i" A& z" Y
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, ' V: {- L" b5 V9 }5 O
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 \/ _8 M3 v" ]5 C1 Gand stuck zippers. 3 V# Y: h' w& b6 B* i
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 6 P/ M# A8 |4 |: t0 v E5 V5 v* D
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 o s3 F, U* X' K* ~Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. ( ?+ ?6 N% _" ?
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, % m% B5 }$ c$ m/ ~6 l5 f
an embarrassment the next. 9 A$ p/ g {) z) N- N) w, L _ w9 R
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 0 K; d8 T, P# I6 g6 \) F3 Z
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
, F. U" W' G% c0 e" E; k( O7 iMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. " c) c4 W, b" h8 ^ N, Z
Must assume final, complete accountability for ! B* d/ G9 Q6 i
the quality of the end product.
; ? _$ Q7 o- e- MResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
$ ^4 _& `+ T! O8 |, Ijanitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:: j6 @! `5 |8 Q- _1 W
None. ' N. O9 z6 F0 Q/ w( R
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
; {& u1 R5 k& Swithout complaining,constantly retraining and ) u( h9 s/ ^+ V- `6 f7 N6 p
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
: f/ q5 l; @! p% L: C0 L) {/ r8 b) Mcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ) C( A. k" W5 ?3 W& J# m
None required, unfortunately.
3 Z- C$ W! X: t2 _0 F" P" P& mOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
5 a/ }3 v# f1 x! V" j- gGet this! You pay them!
# j3 s8 a" A* {+ N+ M- A% {Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
( u2 n' A6 \( ]6 j# O2 j% ua balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. Y, g2 P& O @/ ~+ o/ \; N! f% Nof the assumption that college will help them ( x" A- p( |5 @3 q5 O
become financially independent. , w# y: {" h E4 d- v+ j
When you die, you give them whatever is left. 5 L& R+ z6 c8 \; `8 s
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( y( z7 d9 x7 Y" w& Z& p }you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. , U E0 Z4 r1 ~" r2 ~ g% {
8 ^- f; b; k s7 SBENEFITS: 7 x, {) G% Z3 Z, [; u3 I( _
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 D6 ^4 k, K, a4 Nno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and : f9 a; W# P! a( h
no stock options are offered,! \! Q: C; f$ H8 s( Y: W6 }0 r. X
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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8 G8 m/ F4 ^- Y$ ?4 x; ?" `unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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, h5 h; h7 q+ m0 e8 i' I h** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, # k( U8 B9 }4 X% `9 u
letting them know they are appreciated
+ ]- J) c: f/ I$ J @' F/ v, ?for the fabulous job they do... & v( U) D/ L3 t+ p7 s9 z( B
or forward with love
. @6 n) F \9 h; jto anyone thinking of applying for the job., g0 s" H7 |$ d2 J+ s8 o Y- v
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
