Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 ^! G8 d; r+ Q! |Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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- a( t' X% o$ {' NJOB DESCRIPTION:
, |" X  Z3 x- [0 ?* zLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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7 @  Q) l( z. @8 E+ bpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
6 b3 `& q) H6 M0 G4 P9 ^8 ^variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, o5 R9 @$ \' H9 d& A& nand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
' p8 u3 T+ [0 k& oExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
. {- e+ o: m' i6 uThe rest of your life.
  K# b  V7 v4 N7 OMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* m  I! ~. J/ w) \until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ U! L" s! a2 s, R5 t5 J+ ]+ m1 WAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; d+ [0 \- k9 I/ [and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
& ?- m. I$ g) Fin case, this time, the screams from
  q, G& X% ^7 @, y" r1 ~) @  Qthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 ]" Y& Z% \9 l; {% u' W- e" P. J0 CMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
8 o3 A8 ^+ I& y+ c1 W' Bsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# g* M5 B# e. I6 m. Q% P# U0 ?and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
* m1 C" Q% X; Fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' B2 l0 r( }: j* H. c; K* cMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 i+ i- k, t! W0 p' Jan embarrassment the next.
- A! l! z* c9 JMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
: g" f6 I9 h% G- o) Xhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% f+ Z( J- J' a3 Y# x$ GMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
) m* S/ H9 y; @the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. _! g. ?  P: Gjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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+ b6 b7 j* W( kPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 V/ e# d( x* O, ?0 e* [/ h: VNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
; H, _6 `. y0 Zwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
  K# X6 M$ U9 n) B0 T/ ~% u/ Jupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
9 g8 g* y$ e2 ~2 k  d" ~can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 n& k0 S  `* E5 C! F; d& h, a' INone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
7 J  U8 i: \9 E5 p0 P6 ?Get this! You pay them!
: S( c' m, P+ o! wOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
( E+ O3 J/ p# ]& R1 qWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
% `' Z) {( S0 a. w7 VThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
- L  L& v7 a" c9 Gyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 S# g  G7 m) D6 `2 \; V9 }5 u* vno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

* U- s$ k% @) M& F) k4 Cunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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7 ?  b' d" P+ }7 o' _: a** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 R8 t2 d0 a, H# G# X5 ^% K) q" eletting them know they are appreciated
! v4 Q7 A  {' X( Lfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.