Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
& u. D; s. H* yDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
  N7 R* m% w3 MLong term, team players needed for challenging,
" j3 y5 A" b1 l% |
/ W' U8 r& ^0 a, o2 L1 Ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" L; E+ i' V$ w' @$ i* kCandidates must possess excellent communication
2 p$ n3 f* W# c8 v' ^/ |" _and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- D$ z9 u$ y+ [; Q) band frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 U( _8 j2 u1 L- D; F$ |( a# ]endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 Z5 {* K& Z' T# JTravel expenses not reimbursed.
* f, l3 D" @* @. w! e3 rExtensive courier duties also required.
; C1 V( g2 ]0 q, M) j! X
' e3 O( b9 b% TRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
1 m+ h* q- q; {: Z8 e* F" ]until someone needs $5.
2 y6 `3 _( c! Y9 z5 f) g, E6 F$ gMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  O* Q& r; Y, \+ u( CAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
' l. z* k/ r" L: y5 Vthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
, L' T, Z' z3 pMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 I9 Z5 R) E" ?and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# X2 L7 t0 l2 O0 ?( b3 Hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
6 X& W7 Q! `9 e. k$ ghalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
; P4 W0 X8 o7 d2 {janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
! G" I, Z" _# ]1 `0 J  FYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
% l2 j* ~# I% r. x/ Kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
6 w' h, g: _2 i0 j7 Lcan ultimately surpass you.
. A  l/ z- N! ]3 o" C

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
" C/ l! w- x4 R) lOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

) ^: f4 u, O  K" D4 I4 P6 M, Y! AWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
( c6 h1 m) o- t2 n2 k% \5 L" Y+ cOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
  G* G" U  l/ z0 F! g3 D4 ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
4 {% f/ U9 o( f3 p8 T9 Abecome financially independent.
+ h# r/ u$ z3 A4 \. R0 n8 YWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

' {* D/ c) b0 Q' L; A, t2 V7 {0 ?BENEFITS:
4 _# e* b. j2 w$ d% OWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
# o$ v0 L  |0 t! p4 Y* x- Kno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
6 T5 a8 Z% \: N# @6 j& xthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

; X8 V$ ?% a% d' W" _  r4 V$ |% Eunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
. r3 P0 Q: U; S& F6 h
  g( h, V4 Y8 J; G5 `) q% P5 Zfor life if you play your cards right.
8 Y" |( A. `- v4 D* m/ N

, k$ K; r: F0 e( a( v

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
# R6 l  u: i& m1 c) [; I4 j
# D: Z2 n  F% V8 B+ X
& B1 y% A8 ?" v4 J
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 {# w5 m/ \" D/ p& U! Wletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
8 p6 ^9 x! E/ l! p4 H# X/ Sor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
( _- H( y: l2 t' p1 E. `& f, q8 g( m

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.