Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
) p9 x) o! i# y1 F  _: A3 S, y  [Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
1 l4 O7 }* L3 ?5 L/ o9 D5 gvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' G$ w& U" ^# r; g+ f- u+ @and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
/ d) a- U$ D/ D" K) pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
- h' P. f6 _% c7 c! `' yTravel expenses not reimbursed.
6 e3 `: x2 L5 m# D8 ^1 u) ?8 c: }Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
$ L# O& Z# ~+ P! t9 qMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
2 R  y4 d- a, E0 o, `until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
0 S/ ^: o( t) {2 KMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, ?+ @- q4 Z* P7 s/ Dsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
5 I" ]9 s4 ?: \+ Q0 iMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 P% o  u* B; }5 _1 yMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
: M7 e" q& c8 p, P2 Q* O' g+ Y7 _an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
4 ?+ g9 }8 z8 H$ p* ?  b/ {6 WMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
8 g+ ^7 w9 \1 {- z3 rMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
) T2 p1 c/ B+ @+ t% A" g/ H9 B: BResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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4 G7 {. A7 [8 `' V1 b( L4 ePOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
2 s! h& h& a: _  i% x1 Lwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


3 E5 X. ]* N" e+ C+ D1 w0 DPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
0 ~' F. z5 Z* mOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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/ n' |* W/ _) k# v8 zWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
  [$ w5 L- m4 }! `of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

/ d/ g$ s6 h3 a1 [; w4 C8 tBENEFITS:
' E+ H% u5 @$ B0 r2 @) rWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
0 g0 m* U* t& N+ m6 E  [% {0 Q4 pno stock options are offered,
& o# P2 n% f) H3 d; H  ^this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
' ^( c3 d! J$ ^2 T2 E
+ s0 F0 L+ X) j9 Dunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
% J! K; o1 u$ A$ h, U# @
for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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& I+ D% N8 i6 S( K& ZForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
! i. F3 t/ ~" ~for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.