 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma * K6 i1 s' Y% a
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa: w6 J" y, `, O- M% o: \: F
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' y3 Y/ A+ @1 V0 @1 o, ~5 l# b4 KJOB DESCRIPTION:. n: x y6 b0 h; [5 v! D' c
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. Z3 J. r& `4 h8 r W
Candidates must possess excellent communication @: p. y7 b' F! f
and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ B; r! T* z8 \$ nvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends ! A$ e- j6 Q! E* k3 w( X
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. ' Y7 x, [4 o1 _& P5 ^7 }
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
& h& Y; c4 X$ Y( jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
1 d- F7 c9 }1 sendless sports tournaments in far away cities! : [+ N+ G S$ W3 G
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 3 {4 r6 ^3 y" T& |3 y0 Z4 ?0 p
Extensive courier duties also required.
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" W; K" w) {3 J4 D5 XRESPONSIBILITIES:
5 U! ~, a( ^' ^- T0 \$ A P3 QThe rest of your life.
_& U# F. {7 U6 x7 U* Y' ^9 aMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' |7 x& s( I# e# @8 A2 Kuntil someone needs $5.
' u9 u$ [2 C6 V. z$ h# VMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. - l8 c; {/ g5 z8 b/ V* l8 O
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule % _8 ?% c6 H, t
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat + t1 t- }6 c y4 V9 X+ a
in case, this time, the screams from
; i7 C, k( W- z/ g! B( Wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. : D3 a" Q4 X$ p- }$ ?9 L3 E
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, h8 Y2 h0 a. ~4 E4 o2 |/ Hsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
" U; d& q& x, g% n+ S$ ?% A" b0 H$ R% Hand stuck zippers.
" o' G" s8 L% {% C- R6 ]. \Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
8 g3 f( F5 Z# f wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. 9 P( ~$ S4 T+ M. R( A& _
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. % i0 W# f; K" d# ?5 w
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# r7 k/ \8 ?. ?9 n+ W" q8 Pan embarrassment the next. 3 @3 S" ]8 F$ y8 O4 n
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a * C6 ]: \( o& B8 s
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' D w& O7 K# U8 n& {Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 9 z; f3 C. `) v8 ?
Must assume final, complete accountability for
. F; b1 Y3 M& ^# v5 ^2 U8 }' ~the quality of the end product. 8 u+ c; G6 n. j
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and : N1 w. E) M$ r4 Z
janitorial work throughout the facility. : B9 Q- g6 ]/ H* h# b
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
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6 ?5 c% K2 _% g; Q$ [! l. ~Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
% x, ^2 ?! [; y+ s, i) Z6 owithout complaining,constantly retraining and
/ o g' ?* X! E f# |' v _updating your skills, so that those in your charge : k/ ?9 c- z( w
can ultimately surpass you.. S0 t8 z7 L0 U" e+ l. n
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 n$ K9 V. R N" S/ T4 r m0 fNone required, unfortunately. 2 K" _% T: o" X
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. ; [5 k; T. A4 |- |; G
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: : K9 Q; ^& d) C6 ^& m% K
Get this! You pay them! ) o2 o0 |! D7 k$ A) h; v" T. |$ K
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
# f; K4 N# n* {3 h |! aa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
2 {! `1 }1 S) }4 s$ J5 [of the assumption that college will help them 5 ^7 [ n/ s+ C
become financially independent.
* _$ ~% a6 X3 {6 o- [$ LWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. - I' G3 K% x9 @( {* n
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that . q' v+ d( L1 M! [% r- W7 o" p# V* r3 t
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. ( `! q, `/ C, t* {9 d, E' |. @
0 U4 s- {- p7 TBENEFITS: 3 B+ A) k' {; K/ H+ E O
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, B! o; Y% J! y: k) ^! O
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ ^3 { N. B& |. }; i7 |no stock options are offered,5 X1 T0 K* R! V0 i) b
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, $ R9 u- P/ t% b9 \6 {' O7 e
- |4 Z$ X' v, N2 X" bunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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& h5 U7 _( N+ o! V9 qfor life if you play your cards right.4 @1 b* a; B2 `! \) I, D
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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! o' m7 W' g; r' z5 mForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, . @1 z1 M' Z x( f! h! C
letting them know they are appreciated ) f% Q0 a+ f( X
for the fabulous job they do...
V1 K7 \8 | O' h0 }( A: Z% J( E wor forward with love
3 ~5 p2 R+ x8 Z/ A( r' X0 ^to anyone thinking of applying for the job.4 q7 y- Q6 Y0 s% B9 b
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
