Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
: A' r6 f: L0 I, G6 G5 z  YMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
  v& m4 M' z( _2 L7 ]: X# vDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
+ A5 W. [' G2 |( N* H" V, V
! B/ m6 C, _. ^: Opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
. L, N$ G' L" E: t( k+ i2 nCandidates must possess excellent communication
6 w1 S* j* g' Z! eand organizational skills and be willing to work
" I3 Q3 L1 l" M/ Y# R* D/ x2 S2 vvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
7 s6 J/ ~: H0 d: P- l/ i. E6 aand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
. Q. @" r7 _. f% `( gSome overnight travel required, including trips to
) T3 Y- X4 E% q, [4 i( _primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
! ?& L' y# h- X# @5 c0 y5 CTravel expenses not reimbursed.
3 \' G/ B* c& W  `5 I2 }- e- UExtensive courier duties also required.
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, Q/ v6 \4 ?, y) ?# B/ Q+ qRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
, e; N9 \4 e9 V6 F8 M. E2 ^& Z2 B8 YAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
( U  _  V% |# q. U5 n: ]' C: c( Nthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# l  e( k1 ?( x& d" i/ {such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: g7 Q9 J! i% k% [2 i7 V# zand stuck zippers.
: t! H! p8 |# [8 D" C0 N9 DMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 `1 e! A) |% W- s2 Qhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
# n% q- s  v' u6 B. a; t9 P' wMust assume final, complete accountability for
; Z$ L& ~6 Z' V, Z  Q4 }/ N7 \the quality of the end product.
! v7 B6 R' _$ ~% ^' u& LResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
3 y3 ?! T6 n+ S% Zupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
+ g; V7 f* j& I# m2 F' D5 |can ultimately surpass you.
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6 j8 W& N- W. r. APREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 W8 ^7 Q+ l0 ^: X" V7 B9 iNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

' p; k. I/ n, `0 a: z2 g, E9 x& v, XWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
/ k5 ?6 B! E8 AOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
. V: m$ l7 ~9 _0 u0 {7 x8 W7 sa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
" {2 U4 Y8 R6 k5 I& D5 jof the assumption that college will help them
! P, F/ M* F5 wbecome financially independent.
( T- Y, r+ Y; H& ?When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
' k/ B1 H# B: Iyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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2 h9 ?# B6 T1 TBENEFITS:
% t( U- V/ u- h% A/ v5 y5 B* f5 }While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
/ p! J& a: P  W+ ~) m5 N0 tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
2 q1 s7 \, K* ?6 g9 I( L1 d& ]% ^3 Fno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
3 h8 T  z8 U5 `2 G+ M
2 f/ I) X* A' m  I7 _' o% Cfor life if you play your cards right.
) x, d0 ?9 D& y  C( |. }

& b; V3 k6 Y* [9 q7 E7 K: x% \

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
: }2 @- `# M! V. Q

3 H; C" V1 _3 |6 c' G& Q9 d
- b* y( h$ E7 a, h9 PForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
3 }1 x# E$ S) w" O: fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.