Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
3 U' g( H* G& Y; z/ K) wMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' v+ @5 L  L( x# KDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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* v4 @  b; r$ r+ n" W4 d& }JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
& H3 ^6 D9 U) H) qand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
8 q/ G1 N) Q0 j6 l  mendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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5 o# G7 l$ r4 x0 ~$ \' ZRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
3 o# u: f; f! A7 H" z) H) ]3 tMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
) d6 S/ e+ Y1 V: @! ?/ Vuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 z/ W+ ]. \/ y( t' q* |Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
- r3 z' x4 L; W# f* Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: M4 p! @" A9 B2 d& Q3 G1 Din case, this time, the screams from
' ?; p$ a; H: R  Cthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
! |2 X3 n7 \0 R0 psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
$ v3 e  N8 B7 {& b$ O) ~! Y  ZMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
& O3 t* k- G8 z+ H7 dan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- m6 M+ T% h2 ]$ |& x" ~& oMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
+ l) I0 u# c# q" U8 l: p( b2 p: W" [the quality of the end product.
+ L0 @0 h# i8 J! P6 D6 kResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
7 Z, H7 h) W5 ^3 T% n5 Kjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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2 p: X" ]8 Y2 Y# xPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
, g. h0 V: d/ Q3 {Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* H3 p+ x6 K: `8 V  C5 A  e. Gwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
0 H' F6 K$ a; e, Y7 uOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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- C# D/ j: u! {7 e4 M: p' X. }. \; wWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
& T! {+ a, O' C( F7 f/ L) _Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
$ e$ L, }' C9 |( z& p" wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
1 c  u" B3 i8 K2 Iof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
3 v7 a& \2 z8 h) f( wyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 I: |% x+ W# c3 c. s" nno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ \# V  [: |0 j" R" l4 x  v& G) nno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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0 k. ?& w+ K; l. g6 ^& I' cunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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: [! U) ~3 y% Y! S* |/ g% d** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
  _5 Z& I  {2 E7 t- o+ F. Q8 Gletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
3 A  H, ^, e9 {" cor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.