Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
. h0 U& a% ~! H; rMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
# F' s- X. J! M( l5 s7 M. `

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
0 c" `9 w' K1 }9 g
" l/ w9 ?8 v9 Rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" c8 y6 C' c: d' O: MCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
# F, F7 C% P  q; \; K0 c$ iand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 [+ m' t9 a9 S9 k( m! Qendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
- b0 }1 @4 J- CExtensive courier duties also required.
9 `1 j1 D, W  P) i5 S" r: C. E
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
5 S2 C6 V. o) `' j0 H. x; g& @Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* N2 x* b; H. N/ [% x0 |8 ~0 ~2 ountil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
9 H. H7 w* L3 q2 [and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( s6 F8 j9 D$ GMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
; x2 ?( h. \5 y- n! Kand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
1 Y$ b0 E& F% Q. Hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
; l! o' P4 S. e1 }9 Z* a: R1 fthe quality of the end product.
+ t1 D- S0 _9 jResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
! j8 r3 Q* i; X5 F# ^8 f5 m
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
" u* W- D5 P& I  tNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
5 p% M' c5 q$ D1 Q- c# {& _9 o* Ocan ultimately surpass you.


4 W0 q1 b) X: {5 |/ X. ~) PPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
4 M4 ]2 H3 Z' }( `
1 m- Z6 s; a+ M7 G) }, }WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' V7 @) k7 k" {/ |3 o+ ?: t/ MGet this! You pay them!
$ `$ R+ A( X8 ?0 u# EOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
2 ?/ Z2 Z& F7 {. Y: ~0 e5 W6 Q& C$ Ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
* K" N, D  ~5 b* ~/ s( p& Dof the assumption that college will help them
% D4 U! R3 t9 m  `2 abecome financially independent.
2 V, I9 @( y  x! ~When you die, you give them whatever is left.
! c3 C( F' `; M/ B. nThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
% ~7 o& L1 k4 L7 O* T0 _you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
' F  ~. e& z5 @- T8 L8 ^
BENEFITS:
- S% y: m8 H6 N! j4 g) PWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
9 y: ?- n- u% tno stock options are offered,
! a' V7 C4 Y5 e2 i) Athis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
, f$ n2 z- {2 r8 m( L: w& B' `: ]
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
  I3 n0 j) w* ^! [7 U" g
: V" R7 x+ U! {. O* @+ F9 Rfor life if you play your cards right.
6 m: N+ L' D4 |% j

" \( V) Y$ s4 X, S5 t5 a, G& g, j
9 e8 j* p# x3 S6 c) m4 h% y) e' S* t4 M
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

) C$ F" y5 Z' D  h$ B
6 O8 e, z7 y) v5 X
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, o' a  n! W; M4 bletting them know they are appreciated
% K  b  _7 m% ]for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
  W( O& M4 B' z0 [  g0 K9 V: y# fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
/ }4 K. q" B  ]) D9 U; \

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.