Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


. v+ E6 D* Y3 v2 ?' }JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' h7 q; f+ I% g: m/ h  m% BCandidates must possess excellent communication
. N1 h4 p. [+ L5 j6 j) tand organizational skills and be willing to work
  i; e, Z" W0 ^. uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
7 h& a, A# N8 t5 n3 A$ gprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
" [0 ?7 W  A( TTravel expenses not reimbursed.
$ x3 H0 U# n4 u5 Z' [) ~; dExtensive courier duties also required.
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0 h, |5 i8 t: x9 w, [  ^: O7 J. MRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
) n# g$ W3 w& X, y- T$ ~) U& wMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 S; i9 X5 j! }  X# }, Y, Cuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
) ?# Q3 L- Q' U# A1 v4 iand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
5 E! E1 F$ x7 H, H% Tin case, this time, the screams from
. Z# H3 z) K' X5 v1 L+ Pthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
- ?9 r" _1 s% B' k1 V7 Msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
4 P' s& ^/ u) K: L1 `7 V& H& KMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- H: F7 e- q, W3 RMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

- ?7 n# u- ^* u" k# G# oPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* A. S- g2 f8 }4 S' nNone.
6 A& ~6 l8 Q. k, M  GYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
. }* L2 F0 n0 V$ n6 Y: b/ C. Mupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
: k" u" l: K1 B: N  c# ]9 Y1 s+ M* dcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
: ]3 T/ z0 ~0 i' C$ K# Z# Y  }None required, unfortunately.
  k9 Z1 r* [: HOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
4 a1 z+ \6 ^& z& u- x2 D3 S4 }Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
, R( N8 B  a/ sa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
" Z+ U0 w7 F6 T4 Y& Pof the assumption that college will help them
9 e# {: ~: V9 w1 n/ {become financially independent.
0 R, u7 U1 S5 D6 V) I* J$ LWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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( V5 [8 Z3 |3 D2 ]: w$ ~3 R& K: Q2 rBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
  B3 O, |7 ]  m/ Y, ]4 C3 ~9 sno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 k% t% ?9 P% B7 F; r6 X8 Vno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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9 Y! q  D; C, d* ~% Z8 Q5 Runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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) O1 i0 M; H( f* ?5 C9 K+ P$ I8 x" i** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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$ m5 r8 @5 g6 _. x! v4 u
/ u* t' o5 L) gForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 \: L3 M. B5 I( _, F; Uletting them know they are appreciated
# T" P9 A5 L0 d8 Ofor the fabulous job they do...
$ j" @& |) O/ H/ C$ L8 |3 ?or forward with love
9 }! w0 C: y+ b) k. R3 \& Wto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
! Y6 ^: z% U/ @1 O' G+ ]
! q& _! e/ B' c0 F& v0 k  _

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.