Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
" Y7 M. e; |& U; uDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
/ b, |' C3 G; |1 f. k& Q+ B

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
1 O9 B- r0 i/ O) j- f) t& [
' k1 f  \) }- G0 M: w9 e/ V% R. Wpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 s3 [& ?. E! d+ b! B! b0 r% }endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
2 W! P$ T) x. z2 uTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

7 _* u1 R8 _: v' l8 o+ Y. M7 URESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
5 s$ b" D) ?+ yMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
4 }7 s6 |% P6 [2 \6 x8 _9 p8 Xuntil someone needs $5.
6 H) ?& h! Z- f% a. n2 y, G$ ]Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
1 N& y8 @" b% w0 z* QAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
) x1 I( h2 o$ z/ vand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
& O+ h3 C4 v  Y# Rin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
( s# n; Y# X8 B1 MMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
8 D- l4 A- E' w( M- R- tMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
7 o+ y  }( M' h! I' h3 Rhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
; Y) L6 ~7 u( ?/ O$ T0 X' }" GMust assume final, complete accountability for
! I5 s4 m5 b! y5 O$ r. Tthe quality of the end product.
. D2 m& L' X$ a& MResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 q3 F7 M; H+ k0 J3 S8 `: H5 fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
* Z3 h9 {7 `9 P8 h& T0 v
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
' J+ P8 D7 B  R, E$ m, C2 a: N1 TNone.
! l+ i& U; |- OYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
. F& ]9 E' q: S* ewithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
- k. k; v& [7 f# Hcan ultimately surpass you.

8 E2 M/ {, t% Y9 w
/ W) Y' n( @2 u7 RPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
: R8 R; U. B/ m9 {0 P+ X/ v' vNone required, unfortunately.
/ i: B7 h! c! s( Z+ zOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
8 Q: N/ N8 {. B& V( @
% ?4 V+ g( X5 p) P4 _6 TWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  k% B6 h+ B5 f) V3 C* u& ZGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
9 v' I# s  Y" ]become financially independent.
3 a+ n/ S6 l: eWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

0 R0 A" o* t+ `- V# y  J9 i* iBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
, K( f; s6 U# q1 @/ q& }
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
  d, A! {1 x6 ~. k0 w, i

/ Y0 g# `7 @2 F& @# i

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
4 @; L# B- n6 t8 n$ E% R" D
+ P7 b( Y6 K# ]' K$ N  \

. K; x" f" S! p& aForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
  @+ u4 q8 R0 I0 M, }5 Cfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
/ F' ~2 [" V  ]0 ^" ^7 |% |
+ d9 F0 w, S7 b- O" C6 n7 L

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.