Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
, B8 o8 P$ X/ x! O+ B; j8 yMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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+ [# \9 J) Y( S7 F8 X/ k* `permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 G1 L5 W" U" oCandidates must possess excellent communication
9 w3 L* n/ L2 o  G: _and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- u( ^6 G, P8 r- land frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
5 l1 ^# [% l5 R8 y. NExtensive courier duties also required.

" U& f4 |6 ]/ D% S( DRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
, R* v) C3 l5 q" s: lMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  U# ?+ J* ?/ U8 Rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
0 A# W, q; y/ z9 P5 t4 Hthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" V$ H3 _) S2 O* a# L9 ~Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
! ?" w* _% ^- u3 i& C& V, PMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( R. O% G' A; A* wMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
) n: }2 j% L) M7 ^. d1 |. N0 l2 hMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  O9 R6 z: M7 b, Lan embarrassment the next.
% g& C& U  y' J! i7 gMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& j$ e  Z. N& _6 g3 S6 GMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
0 [1 ?, a. b4 ~8 i3 d6 t3 a  xResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

6 A9 i# h; p/ l* BPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
8 L+ b, B) h4 K# E+ w5 X5 |0 V( BYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( o4 E% t8 E7 i) _5 JNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  m" A( c8 R" a. J$ |# ^  R# OGet this! You pay them!
9 _; e; L+ P: t) ?; q- ]4 IOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- d* S) F+ o+ H# m2 \3 S, `" R7 bof the assumption that college will help them
1 b6 q- [7 p+ @, M4 Wbecome financially independent.
4 S/ F* W$ D6 Q, j% ?8 K2 |When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
  V, R- m3 a, V* }# M, w% Zyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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0 ?$ a& ^& z; n0 O% U" ]( ?2 WBENEFITS:
) C) h7 F/ }, u4 d5 ~While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
% o" j0 Z. R$ A' c! Z: I, jno stock options are offered,
% ^8 ?1 ~( U  cthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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2 b( B) y  q4 S9 S; ~+ B** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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" k& I5 k" t. g$ x1 }4 o  N4 TForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
. o' G. z& d. Q% i, b* {( O' }letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
/ k3 G0 @6 R- [5 p  E7 @to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.