Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
6 O/ f6 }2 Z# Q1 Z: {0 w& rDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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( p3 L0 O# c# R! zJOB DESCRIPTION:
5 f6 p8 W- v6 S0 G8 z  QLong term, team players needed for challenging,

7 m9 n0 S4 J: u- S0 E1 o9 ?9 f" Cpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
( V5 C/ g' R2 C: oCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
' L4 U1 ?6 ?& V& P6 ~0 Qprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
7 d3 G; [! q( f- ?' U  D- t. W6 dMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
1 l" h$ o) T0 d. ~until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. T. ]5 }3 d- d( uAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
( t" h+ B1 @9 y( c- u/ Uin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
; H5 M0 y4 R% ]" T6 O  L* K' b  j) `Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
9 D5 G5 p! Z4 qsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
: [9 V4 m4 a, @! h0 d/ vMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 N8 [, d& z5 e, N/ \half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' P6 j  _6 D3 s0 T; y) ^Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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8 |* o7 ]- ^0 ^5 Q' S/ WPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
. y" ^" z9 i+ e' h( iYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
( `7 c! }) v% w  B) X/ v4 bupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
  F" q' `1 J& ~3 Ccan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 ]( t' S# Q9 Z- q2 x" pNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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- P. R" V8 \/ q$ H4 \WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 [5 s  Q. x. C, E1 y! xGet this! You pay them!
3 Y( _4 S- k; Y/ C7 ?. ^4 a: K$ \: K  OOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
3 S& ~( K) b- ~# p9 m7 ~When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% D7 U4 O9 Q' L/ u5 m; i4 hThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
4 j7 U$ m( T1 _2 wno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

% j# @0 ]8 Z+ E8 \1 tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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* n1 t. B4 H1 @5 F1 l5 ]; Ofor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
% l& C7 a1 K+ N* H; q2 Por forward with love
* y+ K3 Q* Q8 e2 w  Yto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.