Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
" \, [9 W  j5 n7 X# b5 @& fMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) g8 @5 X* R8 C# LDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
" j2 t  K4 C; ?3 l3 ^, d2 J
. `+ Q* U/ E+ l8 C6 {2 h
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
7 m. I. O5 I% F4 a; M7 T* m
' g$ K/ M( }/ R( R3 _1 U, x" X% Qpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
  P1 @, O; I9 r( e0 k. b# w; gCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
7 m, ]' E5 b2 z6 mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
; O! l( q, _; ~4 \8 m3 hand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  T+ X6 M+ a4 mendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 v8 I' ?1 A: {  ?Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
0 m( g0 k$ e9 o, I
. N+ ^* ~& t5 I! bRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 Z  o5 g& C$ G* n5 p; C+ guntil someone needs $5.
* i0 L$ B0 B) tMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
9 X& R( Q) a& x* }& `% p& Win case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
$ z: ~1 f# x/ Q- d7 M  EMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
* C; \/ _- l4 v9 sand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ l; W) P; ^- U* Q( P1 {8 s; Rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
( D3 b8 v  [5 Y. |Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
. Q) _+ y  D4 g8 P: @9 eResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
6 x, C# i+ M6 }9 JNone.
  E# b$ X# D5 @% N$ A- Z& q7 CYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
4 O% m; c) ~: o  N: LNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
: Z% r4 |5 U6 r: M" Y! @; {" G& L# l
6 \$ s5 {& a5 k2 j: qWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" N7 F+ M) ^7 vGet this! You pay them!
( q3 A8 B. O/ z# A( \5 xOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
' K& r/ h! R3 Z2 i5 ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! Y6 X" P9 C% Y% _8 H* O9 K" mof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
% K2 Z  B# k7 g' J! V& G& e8 J1 j6 d  YWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 d! K6 y; F8 ~3 s( c) Ayou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
2 E/ A+ ^+ H* R
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
& y- u% W  U$ {" Gno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
: T) L2 C# s  c+ pthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
& @  t. x5 j$ ]' E, t* b
& O! S# `, }2 z/ Wunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
0 H4 o9 W- j1 ~
7 \) G1 O4 k4 v7 C+ m& ofor life if you play your cards right.


5 |# d8 t  @' ]  v& e4 G
' b' N  O& r& L0 ~0 @( u0 x( w( X- b
3 L/ y! n1 |! {* [7 L# [7 C# o** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
, G) d4 @3 q$ ~* A; \2 x

( a# L* b1 T2 Q, _7 ?) D. u) L
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
( T5 K5 P, g! L% F& m% ^to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
# Q0 B7 b) x' h0 n/ {0 V
, W  _- ^% h  X0 q; g# J5 K  \* O0 p

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.