Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
2 g) V+ r7 p3 RDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
5 E7 G# H+ v# C! ^. g% C  P" ?8 H/ QLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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/ {$ F! G( M) S" ]/ X" ]- w. H1 F- dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
" B( o7 T! C" T$ m1 w. ]8 i% iand organizational skills and be willing to work
) h+ B: u+ P: i! Z" G; Y% Nvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
% A# `: q' D# v- n& |+ NSome overnight travel required, including trips to
3 e" t6 d$ ?: A7 @3 iprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
, X9 i% {! ]* |% Zendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
0 [8 S" {/ `& b! D2 X; j+ _Travel expenses not reimbursed.
% I1 Z* Z! A" _5 FExtensive courier duties also required.

/ q! |0 S& f, Y3 wRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
/ r% J( g& I& M/ kMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
) r8 V6 E- Z/ g1 ^6 [5 V( h6 WAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; W) R$ K( Z# I2 A2 e' x. Y, Sand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 c* ^- i" B1 uin case, this time, the screams from
: S+ q) j9 h& Fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' a* D& z) s2 r% z- b6 o5 y! |- |and stuck zippers.
" X$ N+ T# F/ W1 O- s3 R% B( _Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( z3 z8 i7 g6 l# w6 ^- Zcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
# v* T  f1 L$ }" ^1 D" AMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! H- x) z* M: y7 T( AMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
6 x. Y( ^# y* yMust assume final, complete accountability for
" _5 s0 O- N8 S. \2 u% R" vthe quality of the end product.
+ o* e7 ?  n+ N5 d1 m9 BResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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( `) Z( u6 q4 l/ l+ k( RPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* p; w+ Z- t* M9 \None.
- a7 d' f$ N) ~( ]: [% L$ M9 TYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
* {$ d8 e' V% Q% S, Lwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& ~0 c& F2 C7 M+ U+ INone required, unfortunately.
% I! J9 p! F8 S6 c$ J6 s( s; DOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
6 ]& D) j, a- D  r6 Jbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
, _. t) f& h4 lWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
" F! X$ b$ e- ~% D0 C* l( sthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

8 ^8 w2 M; R: Ifor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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8 x7 |1 T0 ~) i: }8 nForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
% l/ W; c  C/ t% gor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.