 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
7 T- J F9 \. j* i8 \Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa# V1 s1 }6 m9 n( I% p& m6 D' O
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JOB DESCRIPTION:) |9 ^* Q I1 s) B8 F
Long term, team players needed for challenging,# k# f8 K8 R8 j# C
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
+ D$ t9 s- E( v. Z N0 x0 r5 D: {7 sCandidates must possess excellent communication
: C: g" Q6 d6 L% Fand organizational skills and be willing to work
5 v; R2 e! q. H% P. G: ~" vvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
& q7 D1 G1 N; n. J7 @and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 7 a% T, Z2 z# @1 U) H; Z
Some overnight travel required, including trips to : l: d) x! _% ?6 r6 K8 s `
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ D8 V5 o: u4 }9 p4 mendless sports tournaments in far away cities! 5 q$ w1 v* r8 Q+ V+ v% i
Travel expenses not reimbursed. ) m8 [/ D U2 Y; }& I* K y6 c) S
Extensive courier duties also required.
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8 t4 `, z0 B; s' Y' F S9 \1 ^RESPONSIBILITIES:
) q0 t$ Y8 U {% q$ S) pThe rest of your life. ; _- _( Z- f, A: s
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 I/ Y; s7 I4 v' Q/ m3 Z7 _until someone needs $5.
* G1 f7 m3 w/ D! d' S2 hMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ }, G1 r2 t* k# V1 u. pAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule $ d+ O; s( n+ C
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat ! |3 F8 d" S6 _. G+ p
in case, this time, the screams from
5 ^# n) @4 g! c: ithe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. $ p d1 x( i! Z2 F/ A
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, + K* a! u) \2 d2 R* D
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
+ g/ Y( k0 J# w- y) Tand stuck zippers. * N* L8 O/ h& d% x
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
" Q3 X9 p5 z" ^- Zcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. + n7 I; ~( f1 ^; x
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7 c C$ t/ t/ h7 H+ P. qMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
7 D9 H# f, N. C) J8 Q7 p6 Nan embarrassment the next.
9 A- c0 ~7 h& }4 z% Z0 RMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% ], f1 G3 _8 a/ Nhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
: y) L/ U6 j, E" M% X# j, g, UMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 U! ]- r6 Y3 Q2 V5 Z! {& z( pMust assume final, complete accountability for
/ _ x) f+ y) W* @) Vthe quality of the end product.
* z# i, b+ B" fResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
! [ `2 M$ Q1 |( c, f* fjanitorial work throughout the facility.
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9 m, ^+ j- Q& YPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
! { i7 r6 H4 W; ]4 r, k% S/ E! V" ANone.
m g7 y6 i( G8 jYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
. {+ T0 F( m' l& a9 ], b3 D2 }8 ^3 E8 M6 Xwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
e; ?: {! z. xupdating your skills, so that those in your charge 3 P' C6 U( |7 Z' G/ W2 A1 \. n3 G
can ultimately surpass you.
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* N: ]2 C+ U+ X6 p# [, fPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 4 }' z5 x/ L9 o3 e5 n" P4 @
None required, unfortunately. 3 V% u$ D8 Y5 D: k( m- b& B; x( n
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' p/ l& q3 r1 M* @- v- SGet this! You pay them! 8 A- J- h, c: U' w5 c& u4 e L
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
. L' [ j3 n3 ^ |% @5 Aa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& x7 Y8 H! C' {" E- i+ cof the assumption that college will help them
" k9 S5 U- M, R- Jbecome financially independent. / g" P, |3 L* ]: u+ m& q
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 k7 P. |! \# I. ^: X: CThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that # |& u' H! c, v/ Q; l& s' e' w$ }
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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- D1 W) n! u1 _BENEFITS: ; q6 o" C1 n- y
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
, H; Z0 {6 ^3 eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 9 x! v) L9 B3 a. H# ]# C u) ?( d
no stock options are offered,
( G7 h' R! w2 d: @' rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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3 A; L) ~/ P I0 a* o- eunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 2 z+ A; h/ M6 X+ u+ K
' Q8 s, @. T9 M+ Pfor life if you play your cards right., W' U+ H# i: P, B
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **( x- L: P9 i) g5 ]" w
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
% b/ m: G0 g) S( K0 Y6 J8 U- m( ]3 {letting them know they are appreciated & h C7 |1 L! p9 s4 H2 a
for the fabulous job they do...
: E; h' {9 C B6 aor forward with love - w& j7 R+ N+ }8 n" ~) ~
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.2 T2 n x+ H1 X6 |0 Y
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
