Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
2 ~0 A& ~. Y4 w, n- v9 e* _$ w; yMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
6 o1 S7 x( v( M# g6 S2 n& q! r1 vCandidates must possess excellent communication
6 W) S, o3 X* w2 F+ Q& b: Iand organizational skills and be willing to work
( x1 G4 `- D9 {5 A7 u+ ?# W' Ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
# d" d0 _9 f  i. A4 JSome overnight travel required, including trips to
* i- n$ |' f, {; O7 ^+ M. ~2 Sprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
) L: M6 w0 c! P( `; _0 S  jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
4 G5 ^: ]! _0 u& r7 A8 R( vTravel expenses not reimbursed.
5 T- d  w8 [# l# R4 {2 M: I& ^Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
( G9 ~7 o: M% j. fMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 Y4 C% x& T2 X2 ~/ l5 ~& Mand stuck zippers.
  [4 d$ _' U" SMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
6 o5 v4 U. m) J  hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
; _$ b) c; z! v! z  M6 V. sMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
, G; G, Z; y9 Y- t4 d2 p# \! OMust assume final, complete accountability for
! n, E/ @! Q% Q/ i& x# sthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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, {2 i4 L  d: b8 P0 {3 N, X8 DPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
, U# h7 {% d' S& J5 k! AYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
: P7 O/ d4 t  N5 p- y5 X7 P! aupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
  b' d' X1 d8 W1 A9 }/ f$ DOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

* S& i% I7 u, R1 q* \WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 l- H/ f% K) `7 n+ e4 j3 ?a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; }( w! I# v6 `1 K! e# L0 wof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
- a* u% z2 V, L% G: h3 cWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
0 p! v1 T9 ]( ]* W: CThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 g) K9 o7 z# z5 ?' Jno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ O4 z, o* D+ K, C3 Jno stock options are offered,
8 W  j# I% y, Y# E) Rthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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* F9 z' k2 z1 s2 c* W) ]Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
- {# w& C6 J: u# Afor the fabulous job they do...
# z4 C* f( ^% k* B, `or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.