埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 3646|回复: 2

Job Description - Parent

[复制链接]
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:1 v. X! Q" H. h. r$ |
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* c, `* _8 ?' _3 kDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

  A4 K# \# I4 e- C. w  X1 o
3 y1 H9 f" G/ E$ Q  [8 x' a
. F/ \7 u2 B" v" m/ u+ m: qJOB DESCRIPTION:3 ?! }! s3 s! j
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
9 L( A# ?, h$ q* G; l) L
2 w9 Z+ }8 f: [6 o1 Zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. # H5 g; L1 w/ O9 f" k9 ^. O' K
Candidates must possess excellent communication # e) }: i% l: Y. }# G0 Q
and organizational skills and be willing to work ' m. U2 H, F" B6 X" y! f
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 8 ^1 H* a3 o7 p2 i& l
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: h/ F5 W+ o, BSome overnight travel required, including trips to
  J( y6 L6 H' Z2 T) x7 [primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and $ K& R5 Z! H; }3 \! t
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! : j7 L- B' F$ c3 a- W4 I# P
Travel expenses not reimbursed. ) L7 ^3 r* l( D+ J
Extensive courier duties also required. 0 G+ h. X" L: u" E, W, K
/ M& @  g$ F2 D' W9 @
RESPONSIBILITIES:% N$ b" t. a8 ]9 W
The rest of your life. / c2 a: s# e/ x% d' ^
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
. ^2 q8 U% A- {& T3 quntil someone needs $5. , C- F5 P4 y- }- Z, J7 n
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ E% K" t5 x9 xAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule , Z+ Z7 E& x" _( n6 ?6 j; l9 F! d
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat & c3 O$ v) F1 i1 S# y+ i
in case, this time, the screams from
) n6 g- A# ^0 b: r" d8 Y- fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ e+ e8 I4 {! I, N+ FMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; P. m* f7 M+ f9 i. W+ msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets " O' |5 Q* b4 q9 |
and stuck zippers. 3 H2 I! s2 {: M3 L! y& @+ A( W; r
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and - U( N" i, Z0 ?" u8 ~
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' Z/ {+ n5 |. n# HMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. : L( V0 ]- g$ D2 `6 O
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 5 |9 G) l) m" J1 ^: m' O
an embarrassment the next. 0 x6 U0 I% U* ?5 y3 K: X
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& y: i* }5 |0 v4 k7 E& ?' Ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
, o7 |' Z# l  ?0 g8 D7 Z# |4 iMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 7 S/ U8 m% n! P) q/ K# n, {
Must assume final, complete accountability for
7 z* F' ?: G; h' w. R; P' bthe quality of the end product. 4 ^; L2 o) l! f: V5 @9 }
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and / y+ _: n/ @, j0 h6 p9 p
janitorial work  throughout the facility.   Y" o: C: [* V' p
7 F- W& u0 W- ^6 Y! Z$ I
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
# D" y- K/ n$ ]! RNone. & }1 d8 s0 I& O: J0 G! s$ h
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, ) g1 t! g, m7 }* x8 r! i7 k& a
without complaining,constantly retraining and
* N2 E! t& ]) I9 S* vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge 8 i& ~0 P$ e, p
can ultimately surpass you.
3 ]( z" B( m; h0 d% p" `6 |* E7 y% }
. {. ?' j9 Z, A- ~
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( F9 y& l2 ?; r; s! GNone required, unfortunately. ' S5 o7 |/ D7 E& ^4 E( R! P# e
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 6 C( s/ }+ @: U) ]+ x

  U" _$ j; ?  a4 U; g" hWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; c! N1 q+ n2 `  WGet this! You pay them! 4 [- j. P. }" J: w
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
: W; A" h: Q' b( j4 Qa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ G* m2 d- Y3 K5 k# g2 Mof the assumption that college will help them
: {3 C0 Z" C7 Z% Y9 U( {! R. Q7 }become financially independent. + ~. y1 ]7 I$ B8 U/ D
When you die, you give them whatever is left. ) B: K' ^8 j6 a& m; ]
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
8 j; U  Y! W: eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
% e2 {  c, y' O6 g3 t% O' q! M
  ?$ s9 O1 A! t1 P( bBENEFITS:
: f: q# }. H8 P  Y' TWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
5 s- S  {! b8 U7 a/ X& mno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 8 d  f: X/ [% O
no stock options are offered,4 t" ]1 P/ T8 i
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
/ y1 b. i/ a1 C, M8 r3 n& D( S9 j4 y' I! S+ G- S4 P0 k
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses ' K2 ]  b- c( n' c8 t% k
$ B# \& n. f/ P
for life if you play your cards right.: D+ `5 C0 K* t. g
) _8 \# ?' g; z2 d- ?
2 f  f) y3 c" F1 a: }% i: n

. d% ~' X8 d! [/ ]8 d
# O- z/ ~% Y' i" g# A* C, z! J' |  @** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **, l5 O2 [2 c% |5 a  E/ K
; K. B9 t6 k/ Q: F( V: N

8 W. K! x2 X2 D1 F' [, N" w: s4 S  G$ U) B$ V
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" t, o- `& a6 h4 B0 Zletting them know they are appreciated & h. I9 ~9 E& p$ ~  ^
for the fabulous job they do...
8 C3 B* r) g; ]6 D4 X3 for forward with love
; W& _( G4 b) d9 u* fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.& B) n3 v9 @- O  W/ m

  X, S* t: @1 {' i/ I
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-5-13 13:11 , Processed in 0.232752 second(s), 14 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表