Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
1 W5 i$ }) K# v% M& x

, w# n& E, ], T' Y) p2 f: I& ~8 PJOB DESCRIPTION:
  Y# e# x& B! f1 q3 yLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
5 H7 Q4 S* X1 x/ g* E& i3 Gvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
3 d$ I# d$ B, i& _primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
$ l- E0 l1 A" ]+ sendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
8 E% {5 Y+ z# D4 pTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
$ g% n" n, m$ f* c/ ]" A: c
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
) g6 z# |' E7 U3 j3 `$ p( D5 KMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  {2 m0 z8 R1 I: fAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 _8 Q; L+ Q( L) y# [' gin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
& [: _2 ]+ L: W$ U. Land stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
# T- Y. m7 \  k0 zMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
+ G6 l# t+ x  y9 @, ZMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 S7 R2 L( f0 \half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; }) u2 U& ?0 R) M. _Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) [$ E( c5 S3 ~/ e$ N$ DMust assume final, complete accountability for
. C! ^& a  ^4 `" [( S7 G4 e7 ithe quality of the end product.
6 V: \* N9 A+ e8 i# jResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

# ]- t' e, S( _$ c8 ~( B* k8 lPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
- w7 J+ D/ h8 uNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
7 a8 p/ x3 _0 e/ N# M5 xupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


$ v+ ^7 G( ?3 W4 kPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
, f7 H4 F, P2 v3 l" Y3 POn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
( V7 F6 W! Z1 M3 `/ l
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
- a1 ^7 W1 g1 b$ ^2 ^. A  R- rOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
  \/ g$ N- ~4 }, P1 I) @+ E: w# }$ kof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
+ h  ~7 D  O2 |' M$ ayou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ Y- w( f3 o  L1 d3 H) W- v2 W" fno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

5 n1 w" A' W: G& `( `unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
; @+ \/ e. y: h! X+ n

) n" }! y" @* @) v4 {. I
5 A% f% q7 n. A" a7 \, X
% K0 ~7 a/ v3 K( {1 ~/ l7 o** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
+ i" R+ D( m* O$ F
0 [' q) S/ L; P
5 b2 b2 F, L8 ~& T1 X
# d/ N8 D: `$ C1 _$ g* {  E& R# sForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
6 L4 ^  n; y! H  G2 Q9 for forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
( E) m3 D5 J; c. `# Z
6 E4 p8 f' l6 [/ d

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.