Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
; G, Z% i- L% C* uDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
& a3 T* v$ x9 ~7 ^

JOB DESCRIPTION:
; k3 n% l  T* ^2 ALong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
0 i+ T3 e' X0 SCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
& o0 B$ T# k  e8 @1 P* aand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 q0 b, X( T6 |2 ]6 O% J: z+ |+ oSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% b( c) o, y+ ], a0 Kendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
4 H; D* i; S0 i3 w0 T2 Y9 I, ?Travel expenses not reimbursed.
+ ^6 e9 M$ Q' E" @1 pExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
9 J1 k$ v- s& Z4 ~$ A0 z1 F" D' ~/ kMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
: q1 Q" |( Q% S4 X1 s9 buntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
2 g5 [) Y4 c7 L. aand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
+ B" c0 G8 |4 g, [1 J9 R3 ?the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 B" L" L0 H8 U, l* land stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
0 k$ T8 x, e& L% v" H# N+ C+ bMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
8 r0 ?. K2 X7 y3 y# P7 Z% bMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
% O, R# ?3 C( g$ n3 k2 J& e: O5 g$ |
8 i+ v6 H! n; L$ d' M) s) TPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
: ?; u' N1 U, f/ p: _, Y* {can ultimately surpass you.


  ?0 S" g0 Y! o. ]PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ A& N$ v; {9 nNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

: _1 a( f) C0 V$ F0 C5 gWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
# D- R( X* t6 X- S4 I6 Q& p* YGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
; @6 b1 n( D$ \/ \* w3 ^a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
, j, f) T' X3 s; n8 l8 D2 dof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
8 w0 Y5 i6 \0 S; E; Y. GThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
% q  ~; f8 f  `* l/ l2 ?5 Z
; S4 g  C# M* n# O. y2 CBENEFITS:
2 H) d+ c( [& D9 C( T: j5 k+ p( @While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
) Z' e' Q. X$ m0 Z
' r* q4 ^% s7 T5 t" }3 ^for life if you play your cards right.
: ?1 `! d2 x5 m+ o. `8 X
" Q( `* G( r: |3 b$ t1 D  }2 a


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
( K) B. G2 ~) g4 F


/ j/ A; I2 s  v+ |/ y& d! lForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
: G& X1 ?+ T3 h/ N9 |or forward with love
# C& _7 O$ P7 Eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.