Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
: P- s6 g* u% f0 v) O# bMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

, x& D% E( p- c7 u2 r6 z9 ?
JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

' {- N/ \; {9 H7 |5 y; C1 ?5 f- vpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
6 w# b+ h- [  x" i: fSome overnight travel required, including trips to
6 Z* D6 W: K3 C3 e- Y" m# w1 ]primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
! N$ ~) ^4 m6 Z0 H  Xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, l* M9 Z( A9 g4 v: }7 KTravel expenses not reimbursed.
. s. S( \0 H/ N4 i$ h9 YExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* J8 Z1 u# C1 eAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
8 n/ F; ^, P  M! n5 ~! P# [, fand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
$ p, ?( m  ?9 k/ S8 s' V% I4 fin case, this time, the screams from
! U7 z+ Y- l- m$ [3 b7 ?8 u: rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
) W2 a5 ?0 Z: q2 e, E% I6 g( Isuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 D  U8 p7 V4 e. x; qand stuck zippers.
: x$ Z* V3 j" g2 r. pMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. T+ z1 _  e9 f3 k+ NMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 P7 b/ R' E- Pan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, |' f7 Y% b9 k5 [/ Q% u3 Whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
4 s" G: B( d! _Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
2 T+ E! Z: r( J! @) d7 B3 Y' A
# h2 t6 Y& I4 r2 t. V: p& t- BPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( u, T( i; ~% Y  g  q2 X- U( mNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
, `0 I: j9 D" e& W( Y- x
! ]5 W4 b+ e7 l+ ?0 N1 o
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
' |/ d3 w( J; e2 ^None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
2 A9 H# R1 r- s. e' b3 S
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
0 e' u; }$ B, T3 xOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
2 V% z8 W5 A1 k; ya balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
" c+ V5 R) B5 Q5 Lbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
' \& v9 a1 B# m! k+ @While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
# R8 H8 F3 A* k# N: [- k* p
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
& J5 k3 r' j: c
for life if you play your cards right.

4 h% r( o% M# s


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
1 J  A) R) u) L; N* b, M
: z+ l. K( v& D0 Y8 G

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
5 G' }3 Q# I5 o- f: n$ r  Oletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
; W) {" F, x" w4 Z0 ~4 m9 Por forward with love
, O. z# W$ }$ t: t: l1 uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.