Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
* c7 A2 a- P0 J5 XMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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4 ]9 h5 s7 u1 t# v7 O' hJOB DESCRIPTION:
4 e# Q6 m: E1 f8 a: @6 JLong term, team players needed for challenging,

2 n. T5 e4 r$ Z8 O( P  Q5 i+ I7 X5 gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
, j# F- f4 D* P6 ?and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 e' M7 `/ e0 Q" b7 hSome overnight travel required, including trips to
2 ~* P# n7 Y* t2 x* p6 L$ {7 iprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" }( h0 T) T; J/ I, Gendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" C% d6 H( w* e' E  o9 e6 ~9 i& A( @6 Jin case, this time, the screams from
- p- K+ w" q8 B8 [/ ]the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 p: U/ `8 d+ r+ D9 eMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 z9 s7 _* \& E4 {Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
8 G% e( T0 n$ hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
' {- {) u+ S5 vMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
% T( D7 x/ o' h9 ^3 Ithe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
% z; B- K5 L& j0 R: y3 I- T: ]janitorial work  throughout the facility.

8 p2 E" S7 O9 J6 IPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 I9 r- ?$ s  R! X* w! J/ {None.
. F' s) Q, E0 y1 R. \Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
: w1 @4 o( M' L: N/ Bwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
/ T! m# v7 Q; mcan ultimately surpass you.
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6 L3 e- Q$ {1 f" ]4 l( b3 gPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
7 O/ N* f+ M) E6 Q( LNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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" @5 g5 [- l0 n0 I& TWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
9 {9 C0 R" O' c! Q  z9 z3 UGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 L3 u6 U- S5 C& v, t4 K5 x9 R9 ta balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! a; ^1 E6 ^4 ^of the assumption that college will help them
0 P! X% N) ?; u+ V7 f4 vbecome financially independent.
+ S2 m$ M2 o: u& RWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: p' s' r( ^9 {; Yno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
9 v5 Q- p! H6 J- ?no stock options are offered,
8 m' j* _2 E* N- `this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

, l5 h9 J4 O# ~% [, q9 R8 L, n- _unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

$ y4 a4 d: \0 F) a4 y  ifor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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  v! f- o" }: W! a( _8 T2 E
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 Z* o4 g3 {. w6 {7 D- ?, xletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.