Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 H. d& S3 o* h( a0 g- t6 K' A- bDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


  d; p( h" e4 G  x* X" N3 Q/ `JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

  E/ ^2 U) r7 R% Opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 ^8 p7 W2 S  k  Q% V9 `) hCandidates must possess excellent communication
* n% p. M) m# D. n5 W2 M  Nand organizational skills and be willing to work
5 o9 B0 @3 g' C/ U! I& m7 rvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' ~$ b, }+ B% t: ~$ q+ tand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: P4 E% [4 e6 kSome overnight travel required, including trips to
) J3 H. ^: u, Y8 C1 U* @: Lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
! B0 Y  ]; H+ a! c* x$ eendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
4 d( F) ^6 `3 L3 nThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
; R" C+ E/ o- @5 z# ^2 ~Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
/ e+ ~5 y) Z8 i' [, b0 vin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
) Y3 m0 `# L0 V  q- }/ pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 K6 E; n; B  a* Y. ^6 n1 nMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
) F: H% U6 Q! M/ n7 aan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
& h" v6 Q2 {; B0 QMust assume final, complete accountability for
& I. F# p$ A( I6 o5 @the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 o; o4 a* ~4 }, \+ Pjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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# d8 N4 _6 m* Q8 \" i* ZPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
) K+ W2 F* B1 e4 K4 ^' pYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
- r9 E3 f1 d4 _+ @! Z* r: D9 qcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
5 z3 @1 E2 \% B, }- v3 a2 `9 MNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
6 H% N% t# @9 ?6 |; _, tGet this! You pay them!
) y+ q) E4 N4 }' G2 v; {7 xOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
, h& r$ {8 c& E) Oa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
( S( u7 g" [& w: }: bWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
  \5 e- I/ V) R( u- S0 EThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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9 ?  Q5 c5 Y; J" E0 \& dBENEFITS:
( D( ~1 b9 _, [; z3 ~; oWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% v- ]% [, o3 G: V6 X9 `# Tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
! v5 h0 }; m$ d3 h9 J8 h
' K" x8 z" _/ Z1 H0 cunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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1 C8 ~4 b. X+ C! P* j  fForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
/ B- ?% r. q) _) o6 T0 Z/ F% dletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
" r5 G7 L9 j& b7 Y& |5 vto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.