Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
- j; M; A6 m" A( FDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
" n5 E1 y/ o& c* r1 W( o3 H3 m8 b
7 P0 S7 ?% t, K5 Opermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' e1 c1 z- b! O6 P$ RCandidates must possess excellent communication
: |) M% @6 q. V# X9 b2 qand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
( p# F% o+ P; S' Jand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
) P1 z6 w% c! u: `! bendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
$ K+ d- ]  H; g" y6 t& R% t, LTravel expenses not reimbursed.
- ]7 U' L1 a3 l0 KExtensive courier duties also required.

  L' ?# o; T/ e9 ~: C6 ~9 ORESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
$ I, H' r8 v- |- H, |! f( m. e  Ethe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* h6 l' B  P7 H5 T  ?Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
7 l4 Y" @$ d9 c/ V) U  Y- ysuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) U  X5 r) @9 K3 T6 Z2 @( p6 Pand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. Y7 ]4 H8 |- J# i+ qhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% C. ~9 h2 O( x6 L/ eMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
1 J% i) O- F8 p  ]the quality of the end product.
3 e  B( H/ Y9 H$ W% SResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 y7 u2 ?7 T8 f1 I$ M' m4 ljanitorial work  throughout the facility.
3 _! f7 y. ]+ d9 C0 F, U
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
9 o1 R+ o5 O/ s: \: K7 l/ pYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
( Q# j) t: V8 d5 |. t0 g' }without complaining,constantly retraining and
; K& T1 s2 E3 {updating your skills, so that those in your charge
( |8 X) B0 E. t3 X* Fcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
( J( n! `7 Z- v( v5 x- Ta balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
0 W( ~- Y( J0 G/ D2 _6 {7 j, Lof the assumption that college will help them
8 G8 e- D/ b+ @$ Lbecome financially independent.
" l9 b3 V7 D) a/ v! r) m/ XWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
$ D/ f- m$ J$ U! myou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
  A8 x% {* D& {. j% s1 R9 a( t
9 C, D. x$ z. R% D- SBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
& q7 ]( B- K& s! vno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
' I9 l/ @# y+ F( m) D* J/ ~" {no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
  u% V/ D8 V% y
for life if you play your cards right.

3 t# q# M. U2 @# O$ G+ m2 g% O$ X
1 C' ?7 S" |2 V% ^! h  k" s

# M: Y' I9 }) l& M** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 ?& U- {* P  o& Yletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
1 u+ R+ l  Z/ L$ W6 i% v5 e2 Xto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.