Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


/ I- X, M# m5 k2 p8 l5 n6 f1 F* ~: aJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
( l: M9 N3 T: ?
5 Q4 F3 [6 V/ M9 q. I, Ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
9 K5 z9 S! f& n; u8 H' Z/ Kand organizational skills and be willing to work
. @# K2 Q, Z& r+ G; {- S0 v) p7 uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
5 A; Z" F& X! b  {; Q7 Nand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! S6 ^1 n: ?; PSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
1 @" E* _( D5 W0 D7 tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
- {% |; D  D3 ^: Z2 \0 q* j9 @Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
: X6 }6 V. @5 P& }( o' a% ZMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
1 r: K' H! R( M4 M) X, L; ZAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
( N8 R! S" V& K4 D' p; }$ J/ }the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
1 N; n- I9 g2 b1 Oand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# |, K; X6 g5 r7 C; Icoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
1 b, }. ^# d; V! j* _) `/ ^an embarrassment the next.
+ M3 b" L2 k, o' a% HMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% R4 z, E9 G0 O8 a7 ~1 B5 c5 j  YMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
2 S% H; f* F9 Hthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

) n5 ^3 p! n- n* fPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
" F! M' M& p4 Q! S& a8 v& wNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
% E1 e) P3 ^6 ^# @+ o4 Dwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
* k% _! X9 x" x% q6 l  e( I* ~can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
7 K- R* E3 ?0 o/ v/ g" k" wNone required, unfortunately.
& d4 `! k* }: f  W$ a+ {) g, [On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
: n8 j* a' t4 Ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
9 E1 @( h7 l- vbecome financially independent.
( M5 ?1 W. v  ?When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
- r* ]+ y  M5 R  o2 `you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
2 ?4 _3 N9 e7 V
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
' e& c/ n) n9 I9 Xno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* j" ?2 U. O; _5 ?; A3 [) jno stock options are offered,
2 O* d$ `, Q9 G" Q& Y2 y' u2 ?this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

! r- X. W5 `# X6 ]- ^for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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$ N' W0 ?' K, N; q) T. R6 D
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.