Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' C7 x6 f2 \3 E% ], J5 {Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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4 E& x/ [4 Z5 K2 o* I) LJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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% G$ E$ d7 K' S8 G7 t8 cpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
6 u, }3 W6 c) w) r. |and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
- x3 |- y& V, Xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
6 L# m: N9 M1 M# \3 {endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) Y" @! W5 k$ L& p, R' ^3 y$ qTravel expenses not reimbursed.
; v# z2 {' I+ s$ w7 J* fExtensive courier duties also required.

( Y2 @% t! v* z; tRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 v6 ~6 D! p) \6 E/ p" C" [$ @until someone needs $5.
( \' _1 X/ @. e1 a, }Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ H  M& S- u8 l3 u# y! MAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
8 I7 e( d! w- B" ~! s0 [/ G  x8 {) Oand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 A/ Q' c* ^  x5 _# L/ W, xin case, this time, the screams from
- A7 A7 B$ c9 A( w/ [# E. fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
& G; h7 H% H$ X' n1 V) ssuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
! T4 u& J9 o+ A6 h" b. QMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
1 I" |  W2 u' v; |1 \5 @9 y  q' ?an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
9 w: T  a3 }" l5 B" xhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
! x1 \# }9 h0 KResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
8 a) F  f- s& ?  K$ ANone.
6 b9 S5 P/ N1 vYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
- x, |$ ^+ o! P+ S# supdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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( w. E1 U# R: Y9 E/ VPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
4 D! j* r, u% MOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

, m1 P8 f7 [1 U& NWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
. Z8 D2 N; y2 a5 zGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
4 p: z$ ^7 I  Sa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
4 ~3 ?' i, j# |$ ]- J3 t) HThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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+ M4 v1 M0 v. R! u: dBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
8 t$ Q3 Z; Z% B. W& ]  }4 Jno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# @( b7 W1 t  r1 r3 D+ zno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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1 x/ `3 b: [' J. v" M0 ?unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

) ^$ l  c+ t2 T* Z: gfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, k$ g$ W) {; {letting them know they are appreciated
/ a4 Z- b1 Q; n/ b$ J( Cfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
( v( t1 `$ m  j9 u+ eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.