Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
- R7 Q" [, I5 i, cLong term, team players needed for challenging,

; u" W/ M4 q3 O4 ppermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
5 G4 P" U* i  M: T# \7 a" x' xand organizational skills and be willing to work
+ ?, r/ G& B  B$ ~7 V2 d2 z" dvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
! C" X5 k$ X9 K' V; E$ b; W, Aendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
! V2 Y2 N; ?; e" o8 v, nTravel expenses not reimbursed.
: S" n3 e" b1 f2 X" `6 s4 wExtensive courier duties also required.
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1 ~9 [8 t, g- L  {" S# m# hRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
& g; o/ _( }/ J# pand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; r5 z# \# \9 ~7 a8 d  k6 Lin case, this time, the screams from
6 ?9 G$ U* A. Z8 ^: ]$ k  kthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
; x. H5 ^. b; N6 ^' q' \Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
3 p/ F( N3 J6 Q/ d' ^/ lsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 E8 n' ?; M7 p; y9 z0 ~, E9 zand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! Z2 i; Z  P% Z: s1 m8 b! VMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
) V- m+ N) H) I' p# sMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 ^& z0 A8 K$ Jhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
0 Y3 t: w2 a3 `) e, qNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
: ~* U' W4 a1 }- D" Owithout complaining,constantly retraining and
6 x! Y: i; I- B$ zupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
) P5 G7 t2 L6 V' _% D7 `can ultimately surpass you.
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% _  ~, {7 ?. U, Y* k" SPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 _2 V) a# X% z/ P9 h+ w& ~4 o* eNone required, unfortunately.
. }% T! _, L( [8 J& OOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 j. V, B2 D! P5 g2 Y, D0 vGet this! You pay them!
9 h$ `: U" a+ wOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 P' p; o" m  i9 s! y; E, `* Xa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
( f" Y6 ?. _2 B1 S! `6 f* g; T! Vbecome financially independent.
# v( I: u( m8 l0 x5 F4 \6 M, SWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
0 V' ?+ w& f) s$ a/ t; V& YThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
4 S# Y) P8 Q- t: y, Z8 E9 w' VWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# }2 l5 D. R* M3 {- Y; [& tno stock options are offered,
1 C, U2 }# o1 j$ c0 Cthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

4 y6 y, E' Z( a/ Pfor life if you play your cards right.
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, s6 ^6 r! \1 c+ V** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
+ w3 B% \, m( P. m# Uletting them know they are appreciated
; w6 W5 e& `5 f  Q0 o9 Jfor the fabulous job they do...
; {! N) S  M9 k. L4 e8 \* C9 \or forward with love
1 G3 k8 g  o- b( {4 b" o2 l5 hto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.