Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
& X3 S: n5 ?; ~) I" ?) i. c- r% _1 DLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& |( v! \. o* A5 }' Z" n( DCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* \, R( U' g' {# @0 ?and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" ~! w9 V. I& m9 M3 ]Some overnight travel required, including trips to
. L% A: D3 t3 L/ I0 J( |primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
  X, C# z6 P7 zExtensive courier duties also required.

; |1 v5 |) c$ [$ j3 m4 cRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
, v  }. \9 b+ g* iuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
" B# h+ `) Q; t/ `, \- W% c5 W8 V( fAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 {* R& \4 ?4 \6 X, @& ^and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
0 U! Q: h8 ?% a7 E) pMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ h9 A) i1 Q$ X" r+ J& ~% ?coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
, C5 k. o* b5 |% o8 W; UMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' \/ m# S" J, i' zhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; B6 F; i( _) F% kMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
  ]( @1 N$ K9 n* rResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

! S9 Y4 ~% L; I8 \. G' wPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
' H1 g  M) J( p! a, {Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
& o% u. S6 Q' m2 {9 O9 q0 }without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


$ y+ F. G  u3 \# h$ r! A0 EPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
- P: H; h7 Q2 }# ~' A# aNone required, unfortunately.
* ^( g* D2 R# R0 _On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
5 i2 s# a. R5 P; I% B  h0 j2 n( RGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
$ |7 k/ [- j0 g, b- Wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
' A5 }, g, U6 B+ h% pWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ C$ L; x" F1 C- I& M  B& ~you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
) K3 x: c8 C# e1 TWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
, D2 L2 ~5 C. P7 g1 i( w( dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
& k  v  k  c5 w# Q& P  J# v- G
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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. R" ~7 Q# x, X/ n3 b9 ]# E** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 H0 {* Y. w6 ]* T' Xletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.