Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
2 R5 ^! v) @$ N9 ?: p3 a( ]Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% n- Q- H! {3 yDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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* ]8 U% r. x; k/ \9 iJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
2 |( {; a8 U7 R( o( R3 `
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
' g4 F5 s" v5 H" l: l! D! qand organizational skills and be willing to work
8 H, M% ^" q2 K$ wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 ~; L) u# t' X0 ^4 n6 rand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 g! @2 M7 ~, Z5 i5 C+ R5 DSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
& q! ]. m/ v3 H/ l- l: STravel expenses not reimbursed.
/ {, I  T2 S% A- l+ m! L+ sExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
( H( M. v2 k  W1 o2 ^, ~% AMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
9 P0 X% a- ?$ WMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  E( o6 k6 N& y1 o. u0 t( WAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
3 I0 t, A' F  i% j. isuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 O& q  k3 A; e  N0 z4 ~& Yand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% {- V. A' \# A4 J' Pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
! K) X( B9 W/ [Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
* a. ]1 E  U% i3 p# D, C. z$ can embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
: L. b+ U! X$ Rhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
5 g* j8 c0 C, g( j3 i; t& hMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

! m" g5 j. T. ]& L1 gPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
+ ^1 c* `/ I/ X8 N9 ^can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
# e2 |# Y; @6 b/ NNone required, unfortunately.
4 v. X; i7 M6 M) \) ^On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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6 e. Z$ z, g) n' zWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
/ j0 @0 a1 m! f8 s; k) pGet this! You pay them!
  H6 F8 a' m  i! \9 T& r1 O; c/ `Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! u" e" f. G. z+ Vof the assumption that college will help them
- f4 l- Y3 C# l) H0 K3 d* ]become financially independent.
: v1 x2 V4 w  h7 nWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
! H0 N2 E# X( G& `3 k. ^2 rThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
, D7 f9 L. ~. N' Sno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

' u) E7 m6 {: U  d! o, @unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
  ?0 e: G1 e5 C% p# r
4 @+ V; g7 Y+ `' H, A2 Efor life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
0 E3 R3 j  R! o1 z4 lletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.