Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
: b/ d1 e+ |: \; @0 y' U! j
$ `8 j; A0 t9 {4 S
1 c8 C4 {6 C; L; m. x) EJOB DESCRIPTION:
% U8 @9 g) ^4 R7 qLong term, team players needed for challenging,

4 K7 |2 z- g) V; Upermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
7 H3 Y$ o# z% W5 H; Y  }primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 @0 m3 K8 d  a9 z: h$ }& mendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
- p5 ?0 C0 [8 u$ P! g' YTravel expenses not reimbursed.
; P$ b4 a& o+ m8 P, s$ AExtensive courier duties also required.

- u5 V0 l* f" a* x7 w6 I3 rRESPONSIBILITIES:
/ I6 c( T: [1 i/ p! ^The rest of your life.
' P! e( {$ N9 a. h, s, O- t6 r) QMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
: D& m8 d9 l& V. N1 C& }until someone needs $5.
9 x; H3 L) ^8 z, W* ?0 A- BMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
4 D) H0 V8 k) [! Qand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
" V( S) I: f' rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
  ^, m) p; U5 x/ M! H7 A/ aMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& ^6 a7 l/ {, dcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! Z" t5 V/ T' @. K! m- rMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
1 E, I7 ~/ d5 R7 M& c7 Z, Nan embarrassment the next.
; ]. ^0 K  ]0 Y" \- w6 iMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
+ h& K$ W" r7 hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
3 L) O2 [8 C; B: |8 d% s" ]- nMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
; U5 Q/ ]% K$ vthe quality of the end product.
+ W  q: x% I2 sResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
3 u, B& N. ?2 V/ z, c3 ujanitorial work  throughout the facility.

6 y- ^0 b* j( sPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
' @0 q6 V# E" ^# V  v6 jYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
& q5 {  B3 y" D$ x. }8 z# d: s: Ywithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
/ v6 T1 x6 L& K. S# W& j" Ccan ultimately surpass you.
5 I1 \- q; S. ~1 C
3 A8 ?' G* H: U! U8 k% Y
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; S) z% F2 J8 F+ `8 B& L5 R; K* XNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
8 r( m1 ?( d0 O8 I* E; t2 c; b
& H4 u9 O3 P: }1 e4 W8 j' A6 y4 C& VWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
3 v; d' g, A# Z* Q) e: _Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
; V5 R) e, \0 `4 u) O! ^, \+ F  ja balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
3 }+ b% u+ ?4 n" j' O+ y4 g
8 K2 Z' R' E9 @( r7 }! L9 v" j% XBENEFITS:
& y( S3 A  w% w" o5 wWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" D+ o+ t" S- R* e- h4 ^, Lno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

/ L2 D2 d3 o, K: s9 T2 \5 sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
4 e+ p8 H: \% D8 w
for life if you play your cards right.



$ M% d5 x# s. k% w
$ K; x$ i5 E- F- L& K( V** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
  W) J& M: x% d% e+ s0 ~4 u3 L2 K4 @" X


: B/ J  ^- H7 c+ F/ L+ e2 }1 I9 P" `Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 @% I2 D/ T& T! [letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
( m/ d# Q% X& J$ B' U# L$ @or forward with love
* i9 i7 E, Q  Y7 n3 p$ Qto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

" F' R/ D+ o9 B

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.