Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
  M" ]! M4 O' {: G* |& K9 P4 TCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
, i3 a  _" E: g: Y/ @& l- j& Mprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 R$ L) E5 T+ A# k* I- m& _Travel expenses not reimbursed.
& {  y" Q) q- S) s. _1 k' s8 e8 CExtensive courier duties also required.
3 Q4 t) j, K& Y3 i: W0 i" P
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
$ Z2 _) H) T- {- Q' z9 \, Yin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
/ x; g4 h* D2 ~4 O* u) yMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
9 M- X+ F. G) d7 Csuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- v* J( Q7 T; c6 u) `0 \and stuck zippers.
6 j- ]- q/ k0 M- o. C; `, P! R5 sMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- ]5 z, j/ r8 K. ?% c' [7 w& Xcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
: X6 u* ^' o$ k8 W6 B! k0 TMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! f9 {! z0 R1 ^# o$ rMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
$ X" I, P. o! GMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' ~7 F+ O# T) {6 j$ p6 x# FMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
2 P3 c7 y7 X7 y& ]; S. G& |6 |# Jjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 k: }6 H* G  k4 FNone.
8 D- K  j% x& M6 s' W! p* v4 iYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
! v0 F0 F5 Q, X( C7 dupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

( r& h2 N7 g2 D) H& O2 \7 J
- K6 X% z# z4 Z7 C5 {PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" z* R4 [. X0 K% l4 oNone required, unfortunately.
- q1 B: @' |" LOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 }$ |) s% S: l" Y  l/ H) Oa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
" s4 g8 m% @: U. |+ {8 TWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ T# K$ z/ L5 D( Byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
5 w- t" `1 e; R1 t
$ _: h& W4 l' [8 @9 }6 \, wBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
- W! k, p1 ~; G+ m* a( Y7 F5 Wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
. Y$ V: O* Q) t6 S+ \3 M/ zno stock options are offered,
1 F; h4 H* Z2 d6 [this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

4 d+ D+ b( z. u( K$ W7 a6 Eunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
# o9 S2 {8 h, R& C+ _
( @6 |9 @( V# q# ~
4 r( s8 j2 Q8 _2 \# i. p* P
4 D# V# q" h6 m. ?7 N
3 d2 e2 w! i' A$ m& c/ e$ J6 \** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
; ~9 {1 M3 U) ]! }' N; ]
+ P! m) }! I) X# l, U

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
; i# z6 P2 E. wfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
1 I/ d: R+ T' E8 _! gto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

8 K! X" z/ G" s$ u1 y) P3 t" n3 T5 O

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.