Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
/ ^3 ^: C& u# w! T3 CMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) F# {5 v& S: ^, d( q9 M2 o2 rDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
$ a8 Y0 t: Z2 c- _

  v% R" }6 o0 B. b% F- N' S& w6 oJOB DESCRIPTION:
" s( x5 @/ D1 s, p0 r: eLong term, team players needed for challenging,
$ y4 e8 y# h6 t' l$ S+ Z
$ v7 ~% G& ~. N0 Q$ Hpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 V( [9 E' C+ [$ X: B+ ]/ f* [Candidates must possess excellent communication
& o" g/ Q  x) U. y; r$ a6 Z& Pand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
1 j8 f3 R6 k  ?# M0 {endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
$ {- W9 P/ e& r6 ~# Y6 zExtensive courier duties also required.
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/ |1 D( u2 n0 S4 \$ t5 Y$ \- cRESPONSIBILITIES:
1 I3 h3 ^1 f2 m+ F3 ]  uThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
. S* V; N2 x) D2 F/ o3 hMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
, E! H# T6 U8 R+ ^) ^in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
: O; r+ v5 N9 }5 L0 i7 AMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ U9 a5 q" o! s3 `$ u) p4 _; @& `such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
1 l9 m7 j, p! ~$ J: f) v/ ]Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
8 I- l- W) E9 U! k" A6 N) eMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
& r+ t. h, v( k0 \! cMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. V' A6 q; Q* san embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' U& `1 k) {3 Y, a5 b& ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
* r/ g. h; ^0 D( x4 }5 G# D1 Wthe quality of the end product.
# v! E7 W+ g8 f! lResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 k. `, ^4 [, `5 @0 F/ Gjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

  {1 b* K* Q) Y: {7 uPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 |. j: s3 b3 x) ?None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
5 G# K8 t: L9 ~9 J$ Vwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
6 Q& q; K9 N" |/ Q4 r1 U8 kupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; j+ u* p7 }; PNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

3 |) W) D" B9 b& m3 B+ j! A, PWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
7 x, d; G* r' ]+ I" NOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
) q; S% k3 r& {9 R& X5 ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
3 Z% B/ @# F' k1 W& Fbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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( ]% h) y4 r! g% _0 BBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

" I0 d1 |# f5 Lunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

4 y6 p# Y6 R9 a8 ]6 e2 C* {for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


6 ~  {8 O7 \) I8 ^- r1 d$ t
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 I& b$ i5 ]# A; Z5 h: Lletting them know they are appreciated
! s5 ]5 Y+ A' I# b1 V7 lfor the fabulous job they do...
9 f4 \9 F+ n& W# H/ cor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.