Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
& e2 X3 e2 N% P/ e* l$ ZDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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# S3 `  }6 R2 ]' v9 FJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
/ F+ W$ _7 w" {. v# M- J3 I& s; Gand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% l- ]  G. d& D# O3 ^/ l$ tand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
+ W. D6 Y6 U, O# y( W2 r7 L& ?Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 |% V% P# c) Y+ C/ Q" MTravel expenses not reimbursed.
/ [0 o( m4 s# N" `2 XExtensive courier duties also required.
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, g* O/ c  a5 cRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
0 i. I' X; B. |& s* s0 |$ hMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 \# f* i, X- M" R# B! I5 U; n$ Guntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- _$ z" v+ ]4 h/ u/ ]- A' o9 JAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
7 U- G0 B! z1 U6 Yin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 x+ E9 e: }+ V" h  L& eMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 x, Z! Q) Y1 Ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
/ U3 n3 J/ w3 b9 ?3 k0 w+ Yand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
; H5 ^. h% ~/ ]/ G; R/ Ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
! o1 u* u/ l3 XMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
: z2 x; V( q# Q4 `6 fan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
7 N! Z% c3 Q3 I$ p' x; uMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
& t) {$ y/ _7 q  AMust assume final, complete accountability for
0 W. q: c  u+ U6 Uthe quality of the end product.
! U. I8 A6 V" w" iResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
$ U/ ?, N$ j" r; @: {$ Rjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
" G! A4 B$ _# P" b* z0 yNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
  O1 Z! z) S' V/ ?; p: J% Pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
. i0 e2 Q! F2 \updating your skills, so that those in your charge
% c  d  k' l* f, `* Rcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
$ E) L3 ~4 e( [" F( }8 z; T/ Y2 mNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

5 a. d" Y1 {! L$ uWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! L8 h2 \' p: C/ l1 Jof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

; T& y* l1 q4 k. E( W5 [" r% KBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

' V; R* ~6 I5 |! B* _; E1 Tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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- q1 V9 M+ i! bfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
4 d! e2 Z: m6 Y! ~letting them know they are appreciated
$ O6 T9 l3 v* y, d+ y: Mfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
! a0 q8 O& A7 f1 }& D: `; L6 [* s+ T& Fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.