Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
/ r; y3 ~, D+ L% @" W; \7 D! pMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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: ~5 f( t- J. Z% ppermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) L1 Q3 M1 q  R7 ^( b% uCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
( ^, |5 A8 y# g. C# h1 Kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 i, l" j/ d7 [7 b8 |# \" xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
! n' z. U# _4 V/ k& \Extensive courier duties also required.
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: C( {* I, ^* ^3 JRESPONSIBILITIES:
! i9 Y  S1 R$ C0 nThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
: M) T( i) e/ u& `( |# v) [0 Iuntil someone needs $5.
6 b7 F1 i- r; ?4 Q& H: O' ?Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
! W$ g8 V$ c1 `. M: k, J. fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
1 F- n3 C2 ~" Q- |. o0 j0 y. @# B" xand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
3 `5 j4 ]- p7 R8 H- J- Ecoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' r9 P. ^1 a) DMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  E" m6 X: ?8 d- eMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' F( m7 i" c/ |9 _' \: Y  x( yan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
9 m# H( A' \5 X/ {1 D1 z* ?+ x: {Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
3 u3 A4 A7 U' Pjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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2 d. H( F8 @4 U% N7 @POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
4 [- S) l3 c) A3 `: }% @None.
; x/ L: w, J8 L  N8 N- w9 @: c4 GYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
" e3 Q8 w/ n( M( cupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
7 H9 e' j8 C8 Z: ^% x  m, O4 Zcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
+ e/ H" H8 j' `8 e# j$ g0 m! W2 MOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

/ F' Q; `3 K5 v. ?7 xWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
9 o# K7 i5 ^  X- k; E! EGet this! You pay them!
7 |, r5 x* E5 s6 X# SOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
: r8 ?' f$ u# b* E' wof the assumption that college will help them
" o0 g. a% f6 j' E' zbecome financially independent.
5 K$ b; ~$ w4 jWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
/ Z, Y3 b5 i1 K, P9 YThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
4 `6 Y( ^: [6 x0 d4 Oyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
2 ?4 W) l* [8 F$ {& h- s, |no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" z2 ^) U: I5 [, ?8 p+ Ino stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

0 z5 N, f# v4 u3 `# }) S, G6 Zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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7 R" t/ x( ^& R# B2 @. o" }( qfor life if you play your cards right.




, m2 U# C5 g- m** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
; @/ s$ \: L1 O/ L8 Z4 H9 W! t6 Eletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
: ?$ V0 n- C# _( h6 a" \' Gto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.