Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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# \* o4 F% P" J+ R0 ?* tJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

! `3 i6 ^4 N7 qpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) w8 [9 u4 Y) {( u# {! V2 b: Q2 HCandidates must possess excellent communication
6 I$ x6 k# i- i* @% I6 x" t; j4 Q+ `and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
1 @7 v7 c5 J, k# F( r" t# MExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
8 W! [$ ~* c1 S8 XThe rest of your life.
$ w4 G% @. h7 H( Y/ q2 B: TMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
7 ?% p  O0 E) M* H9 v. nAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
$ I9 X' N* t7 x; B5 gin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* w2 W( P9 J" P$ p5 PMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# A4 Z7 s6 u/ iand stuck zippers.
! f8 j; x8 Z. q" f% kMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ |- ?' E9 d& N0 g) A3 H; u. k/ i$ rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
8 `; ~7 ^& T7 F% u3 v5 `: {Must assume final, complete accountability for
' E8 F* l# M  rthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

- z# ?6 l# ~' T. vPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
# h- Z7 ?7 }6 v8 N8 ^Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
2 y" L6 J7 t' r: Q% ~1 Gupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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8 l/ m3 K* ]6 s2 P* j& FPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
* \7 A+ e) I% J) Y, _) e  tNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
: k! d; |! I1 V  h5 B. UWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
, F/ ~/ t2 A! ?2 BThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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6 t: Y! V3 `3 }2 \" M8 IBENEFITS:
( E+ \9 p+ i* D8 j' e3 H6 R/ OWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
0 r( O/ j) V: Z; ~( xno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
, S, }& r( N( k* Q3 b7 Q+ r! Fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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% T5 C* ~! w+ h, o) sunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

3 j* {" V" L0 i, g1 pfor life if you play your cards right.


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5 I$ G* g  V; \** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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: R6 o3 J6 A) C; z; ^( z+ EForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
! v; E5 U9 D, `2 \! d# @" L6 _) lor forward with love
: R2 x' W  f4 {to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.