Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 p* c: Y+ c9 T% xCandidates must possess excellent communication
, s- o$ J4 B% q& ~( {! `6 v, K. E6 sand organizational skills and be willing to work
: u  I) M+ U8 i2 ]- rvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
, Z0 z" F4 o2 {6 @, N: _: WSome overnight travel required, including trips to
; i# M' ]* m8 [5 B  rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
( c) z7 H/ |: uExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
6 T+ Q$ o9 u, \/ @: R* XThe rest of your life.
& M  _) {# t2 C; X3 KMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
6 N9 R1 r- Y. |9 C  L0 A' wAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  v7 G: R2 k7 T5 ]: [  a4 Nand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 W! e+ _& n7 DMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 \* e) l& E) {2 J! Dsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
& ?6 B. r& x0 u4 z" k2 F. eand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% B4 j5 X) f+ H$ {+ {+ r1 N% A7 i! N1 JMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 e% k% ?4 ]) U* E& X6 wMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
, _) n/ |6 I* ^Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
8 q# O7 d/ E# O% ~+ Z' \! bthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* D5 I/ Z% P7 L4 d# \: nwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
+ F0 {( r3 D. Z* x0 ~4 r6 Pupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
* q% L- c% r4 k: Ccan ultimately surpass you.
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! t- _* x3 Q2 L; U# @2 APREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
% m: K9 c+ C  V1 M4 \" O9 ^1 HOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
: k! m% F. z. [9 Q( l9 MGet this! You pay them!
/ v2 c0 i, z0 h8 zOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 c0 r9 E% \4 q8 Zof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
9 S! a& x$ H$ h8 ]" u7 @1 M: aWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
9 [" C) C- i) }4 w: |The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
0 r" u' R$ B! H' V+ Oyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

/ w5 J, z0 I1 I3 o" n/ [. _8 v  kBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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, ]3 W- p; ^* @# O5 T) N, B8 Gfor life if you play your cards right.
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4 @& Q2 H; ?+ D/ b6 C3 M4 ]5 h! ]** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
. H/ |8 g0 P% W* I; Uor forward with love
- r" e) w5 W& zto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.