Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
7 K# m4 @5 A% z% Z3 F0 n3 G2 D/ tMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
2 U1 b0 a7 t4 O' {# l! K* W. X  ULong term, team players needed for challenging,

  K  o9 w9 m% k/ I: X4 W$ _permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
) s, b7 `# n: N5 H& Pand organizational skills and be willing to work
0 T: C2 V  X' N0 A2 u& x# f5 c2 U$ a! Wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% p8 T: C, k- {5 x4 A  y: ^, mendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
3 T9 r: a" N( L9 B' ]Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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& |& a8 U! Y; }7 F2 W6 ERESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
$ J" R) u* r5 G- s) p  W. wMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
1 K9 S2 i  x' wuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
$ y* F2 D+ H) F$ L4 ]# X# Wand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 C8 M, s  P5 L6 m/ t- r6 ain case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
3 H, l: o; I/ B: UMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# w3 Z2 e. _( J5 w! p/ ]/ j% S' }such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
; J2 {& B, H# |; x& tMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
! T$ A5 K6 _# fMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
4 `/ F4 s3 N" c$ m' f; `$ E7 f# xResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 L2 |( Y, {( I4 |1 Kjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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2 A6 g  J2 e  g' MPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
" H# p# V  S" j3 vNone.
; m" d% _3 e8 `0 e6 RYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
1 G3 t. E! ~. p8 N: {* wwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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5 Q8 V, W" q" `. Y8 D# |- M4 cPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; v. q( U" ]2 }  V1 DNone required, unfortunately.
5 o" l7 w8 X6 w7 N. fOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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& X6 n8 f+ B! NWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
0 R3 c0 m) @4 d0 \a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 W. o9 ~1 v: m  z: z8 Iof the assumption that college will help them
6 y& ]" g6 {0 kbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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, k! E. ?# F* P. M5 B# IBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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' @, i" u% @5 P+ f, v. D** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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6 _  P: e$ l5 MForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 }3 ]) B# o" u7 N6 d) nletting them know they are appreciated
3 }6 z$ `+ v4 h7 K. A6 Ifor the fabulous job they do...
8 q) P5 F6 B  Q& B" f4 i$ @or forward with love
5 t) d& F) ?4 `7 ato anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.