Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
, n; Q- W  \6 M' _) `/ C+ X* f+ IMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
9 ?  o5 h/ I/ }6 lLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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, j( L2 o' Y& i5 ^0 Q1 {9 dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
, u- D' s3 Y3 V5 ?( aand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
6 O( f4 w, z" G) N2 s1 gSome overnight travel required, including trips to
/ O0 N' ?( o+ i' zprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ ]. l+ i# _# U4 a8 d7 B& g& F! pendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
9 [9 }% c" s' q1 {' E" c& r/ j1 jThe rest of your life.
! B* E) J/ t6 gMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
! |6 R" @, B* K+ V5 r5 R, }6 x$ AMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; D7 s0 T1 V& O$ k5 N* kin case, this time, the screams from
- ^" V. f$ ?0 L: U& g- gthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 S3 I1 d; t: u# m+ L( Acoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, p+ T7 H1 }; u8 q* v# L/ MMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  t& Z) x! H4 s7 oMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
- E: [. N" J% S# J0 ean embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' \+ p; _* y* p1 F) f/ H9 ]$ z' |half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
2 f* K& p- b9 e. U0 d' OMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 Z; Y2 P5 _2 H, Qjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
6 n! I! L" e6 C7 z1 O. pYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
% X% \$ a! b( K* \without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
" H4 ]5 ^8 K8 X3 O1 X9 L' |9 Ican ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
2 Y3 l; x! W+ v7 U) mNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
4 v6 i6 Z3 Y' N( d# jWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
, D- w; t+ `$ F- f! B% ?) cThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
# ^7 M+ d* p. D. e; X$ NWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
+ I. M# e3 A, F% o( sthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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+ F- |& {* b5 V% q& D! l  d** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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; w0 g! o: f# z8 dForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
. N; x" [- V. Z9 n* eor forward with love
' k$ r# M% q6 t5 O# R" H0 @to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.