Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
) [  w# P' W1 Q9 h& L6 dLong term, team players needed for challenging,
; m" X) v6 b# a5 g9 V; l
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
' F9 y1 W! z& b8 Q% Kand organizational skills and be willing to work
% h9 ^+ C1 c" M( T( {: K/ W1 jvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
$ p" v. ?) E# X& S. xand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 j( n; s% c  C" |  {Some overnight travel required, including trips to
0 z+ D6 q3 Q4 u" Jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
- Q" y% f+ ~( g1 \0 j$ Tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

: {  ?5 P9 i& x1 E  U3 x4 [RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
! }+ ~3 |+ l- \7 ]. Kuntil someone needs $5.
& H+ O$ M8 U7 |3 ]) }Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
- J% ~4 Y' t% M) r% [! Q$ \and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 D+ s* o8 F1 Din case, this time, the screams from
$ r4 T4 k9 J' a2 y7 @0 m) _+ [6 ythe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* N2 B3 b: s# Y9 s( qMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
+ ?: }7 ]4 w# A, Rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
+ A- Z& [/ g9 pMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, I5 C( H) r+ y+ Ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  G8 r4 }# U% q7 E. K7 zMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
' J% z' E, F1 i: g3 Vthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 n, r; F3 z% f  s9 O; J( Wjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

9 n0 |6 X! k) j% B' D, E# a. jPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
  f5 \% Q+ A' Z1 b' z: q$ TNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
4 v5 d- L5 k! m; d4 Iwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


5 K. L6 ~: N/ q1 UPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" V5 v4 e8 {% h8 w: mNone required, unfortunately.
0 Q8 B# [* ]! V, w, W0 @) x, _On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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5 M/ R( L7 H) N5 g& i. \! hWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
4 n; a, o% w! s: f( Fa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
" O6 Z8 a# U6 r' E7 b% s. HThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, {" |/ r- ^) Q% S! c! byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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  U. @- k9 F9 a/ s7 EBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
2 u4 V% e8 P8 f  n: ~7 f4 ~4 F; E0 sno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

8 g6 ~, @0 p) z# u* q, @unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

. W6 |% p3 X9 P  w: M  o6 N" Pfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



! [1 a' Y/ I2 A$ g/ L9 ]( nForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
4 S2 M  Q# K+ w' M. q1 R  Mfor the fabulous job they do...
  X) X5 E( m3 ^4 \4 gor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
7 n- z% s" B, ~: @

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.