Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
# c& l* L0 v* G, m& x/ jLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
( v" t9 |; G! H" |0 W2 Xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
7 i; d2 c3 a7 T  g7 B2 s7 wExtensive courier duties also required.
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* c6 A; v: |- L: e* r" {. m3 _* lRESPONSIBILITIES:
$ h: c" X8 L0 Z+ cThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. C1 p% h9 _9 ?7 y- N9 band be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
9 S4 b' g, U$ ~9 E! r5 ain case, this time, the screams from
) r! b4 _( x* {. bthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
- |3 G8 ^- _: Z- G7 G1 o9 m; ?Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' U$ H( p$ G! rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 K+ S: b  U( S  L) B8 Hand stuck zippers.
# g& }! I" I" c; pMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
; ]; b, `* {: fMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
/ F1 q- e/ b  UMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
# X/ @& }) x% f- tan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ r: E/ v0 r: Q7 p; i. z$ iMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
/ k7 v2 W. p0 V9 \6 f9 D% iYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
1 u  ?. h% u+ P* z7 O# Supdating your skills, so that those in your charge
; d& G- n+ Z9 Q& F4 i+ c  G; ]' X5 w- Tcan ultimately surpass you.
  B' p  O8 |3 I$ `3 K

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& D1 v' ^* W* n. ~None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
/ o! T% m; X9 Y$ \2 UGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 C$ f- Y5 B: g$ QThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
  n, }( `. w$ a' l3 M0 p( Pyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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0 ?1 |9 ]% F; n; u% Y7 t1 H% _BENEFITS:
- v: D- ~% K/ v$ @# FWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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4 \4 u- L) _: j- [2 j& m, MForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
6 G( m9 U4 ^! K% j5 v/ v/ nletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.