Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
& G, t, p& o2 e, {2 P/ ?/ ]Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
( J; H; j3 b' {% l) ZLong term, team players needed for challenging,

* Q0 M) Y# ^5 ]! T* V( w  Dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
3 _( U+ B0 ^3 z, b" [  v# W- xand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% L8 C  N7 Z7 d1 Eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
& Y  E/ V; L% L0 g, wprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
/ a1 G1 v5 P! G; F# U$ |1 dendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
, D; L0 U- d! e: C1 U3 W+ B: DTravel expenses not reimbursed.
2 f7 N" K* ^: a$ MExtensive courier duties also required.
# [8 i1 e. A: ^6 M& }% _# X) d* h
* }+ M. J$ f4 Q$ N6 _RESPONSIBILITIES:
6 K- L9 D3 F0 C# `( d, X/ A9 `The rest of your life.
' F. Z' G6 c- ]# gMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
0 _! `( b  [1 b" L8 x: O8 Y% XAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
/ ]/ U1 N$ l5 r' T3 ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
; M; Z2 Q! [" j0 Q9 c6 eMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
5 T5 z8 a2 j& v  W7 fcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
7 @2 u) Y4 P, w" n3 _3 g/ V. [Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
4 G9 C1 \; |& Z% R! f/ j' @Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% {& B/ B& N9 k6 {2 {Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
( h0 f* `/ N$ ~the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 ?! j! h( D3 jjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

' H' S: W9 Z" A6 ~# l! SPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
/ O% |! b: B' n% d; S1 N# N% D6 [; jNone.
, Y" I# E+ P" s' \2 |2 V; @, v! b: cYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
7 U: m5 W2 D0 q* z  \% hwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ O# |2 B$ l* Qcan ultimately surpass you.


* n0 O8 @0 u/ N, C+ l, U: \, tPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
+ a8 B: w. ?, d- J# m& yOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

( f1 R5 X% G3 t7 E5 eWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
- d: ]0 N) w+ l7 lGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
# }9 a5 e# _2 D  T% ta balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
  q8 q/ E% y3 z. `+ s3 e  `The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
0 T1 B$ D% @5 [' Q# Yyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
$ T9 c$ g' @* |
# L3 e8 }- {4 B5 {. X$ }7 c1 x1 X5 {BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
$ y3 {4 e: _; p- ?
  j/ K: A- D: _6 Aunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

0 A. k/ Y' |" x1 d/ Rfor life if you play your cards right.




4 v% F' X0 Q! L" i6 b4 n3 i0 M1 [** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
( b0 }& y4 E: M4 |5 Jletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
$ _% y, Y) H1 ]4 t* Yor forward with love
% X3 h4 j8 j$ {4 `+ Nto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.