Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
" V8 j5 X3 p4 o' T) U' q1 yMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
9 ]" T, Y5 T( I( s9 @4 J& t# W9 vLong term, team players needed for challenging,
3 o8 D7 Z7 T2 u& c6 k; l
7 M. S; n$ O. k' Hpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
1 F/ R% d0 [7 M2 L9 g9 d! r. Vand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 ]+ C3 ?* o1 i; i3 K% a$ Wand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
9 v( Z( C% L* P0 x8 bSome overnight travel required, including trips to
/ L1 p/ y$ S6 A5 v0 p/ b* uprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
# J/ F* \% Q' zExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
9 Q& O% I6 u1 D+ g# ]& b/ RMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. \  M; Z; L0 _7 U. B+ J  d# Zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
) ~6 m. q2 z4 Zthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
: W: K+ l1 F0 }+ a. VMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; Z% r1 `& J0 b4 [such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 T9 H1 w. X2 R' {and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 G6 M& v9 i- ?1 r) z. p0 a) e1 _Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, U2 l* Z( O- g$ S4 c6 j' Khalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
( n% p1 y, F- Z( ]. [* u3 X) mMust assume final, complete accountability for
9 l. @0 a! ]* C/ P8 M) Y0 tthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 j6 `5 H" U4 b& ljanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 w4 l) t: i& `2 x7 J+ j' o" Z1 CNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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7 S! E2 P3 ~5 |  x% b. g9 C, d; ]WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
2 Y! [3 z7 K- s9 kGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
6 R/ B! F2 j* K1 f5 i; b6 `of the assumption that college will help them
$ g9 q. `! t, \0 Wbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
& q; A1 K0 G8 o' M% {4 BThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
8 V) |2 L9 O. l5 P. \, L# Fyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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+ ^; B+ T" d: DBENEFITS:
, q* T, Y  E9 t) LWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

' g, v- v* y. Gunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

+ Y4 `0 {7 V5 t6 V2 Jfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.