Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
2 r  Z$ e5 _+ }0 `* [Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
* Z. b- e6 n" N" l& J/ ovariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 `5 D6 m, S& d- Vand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
( C! z! x/ \) F% E2 t! Z. V. {% Y/ Vprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
" z1 o" U1 p, }endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
; A  M- R+ q1 d: V* ]$ I6 E1 V+ `Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
. u3 x9 o9 ~/ V3 j8 tMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% @, _9 n/ P7 Cuntil someone needs $5.
$ c3 d2 I' W$ s, EMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 b% Z  O# @" Y: h" ^Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
3 D. Q. \) u/ |2 e" j& wand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ i0 U7 b+ L' J3 D& B0 T2 OMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' L# q1 [' f; h, rand stuck zippers.
: `4 k- {7 b, v* K' n* nMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& c0 T9 X5 ]3 W, Z6 Z. ~coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
6 W* {4 O" F4 W" _& W2 BMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
  b$ m* p( |/ rjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

- J3 D( V) H) u7 t" RPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
5 T3 ^. Y. F& h" rYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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# f% p6 b5 U+ }  {) L0 u% W5 ?: pPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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) Y. \$ q% f/ _$ b' F" iWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
$ ~7 R0 ]$ F! }, V6 p. vbecome financially independent.
2 l7 x/ W4 u0 f7 |' oWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
) a  O5 k1 X7 ^. F6 TThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
, I3 ^- ^6 R/ F$ x. Rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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5 v# D' y2 w* W& R3 ]2 ?# n. O! [unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

* F% E8 N$ ?9 b( m4 y% w1 m# ]: _for life if you play your cards right.
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4 i/ P4 c2 S! Q+ K" W/ D2 m** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
% G$ O) q6 T4 _; l) G6 s/ Y# s/ X+ Fletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
' E. o& e( A& a1 t& U$ S  Uor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.