Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
. i( v" S- A# D+ u( v! hMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* K4 l/ y" T' h3 cDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
$ d" ]; [) ?- l' m2 |+ i; `: t% H$ WLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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. a3 U! ^3 _3 }' Spermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
. b- }1 `( h. G# A% l% O1 _- T3 RCandidates must possess excellent communication
4 T  c0 }; g+ ^: K. Yand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" A4 `1 W; T2 y4 I6 i3 `; ySome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 D/ o$ ?1 h3 Z5 {: j, pendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
- F1 G1 a$ _+ p& D. u! OExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
5 x; d  E$ `  b( N  {0 GMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
5 V9 W5 v1 }, Z) auntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. R! K+ Y* X. E; K" din case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& I" s* P& M6 e$ e9 O+ Ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
  ?8 D) m/ |  k9 ~$ a6 @0 hMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
; N/ q/ e) W4 C7 v- ~- x  [6 hMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
! ], @1 W5 r+ m0 k' qan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
  {+ B$ g/ T& g: z; t" ^half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 |) w% s$ D! Q' C. B! k# _Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* J( O" c' [4 o+ q0 l/ d" i1 uMust assume final, complete accountability for
$ k; Z! @. [/ h( r) K' {# Y( `the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, M1 b, s* k  ~; b# O) fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
3 g5 E5 d3 B# a/ R6 I6 I4 gNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
7 \7 o6 w7 v- G  V  _; @without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ D9 _5 l$ `& Gcan ultimately surpass you.

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8 j- x/ E( c0 `PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
  x9 C1 a& B4 rNone required, unfortunately.
% M9 X& b$ k* m3 T; SOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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) G- O1 R# e) P# iWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
, V; P$ \  |* w+ f  o& QOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
, E% v5 |- f* ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
7 ?0 J: U3 k, i& r' c1 |of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
3 @. g, q. D9 Y" ], Q! o% v3 MWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 c# z7 ?$ v4 p  C8 C" {The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
: e: e. i* C# S" [you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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, @5 B+ U( L( z$ m! vBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 B  _) M/ a) ]' sno stock options are offered,
  ]4 i; G2 C- d5 i# B. kthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
" \  |% S9 i8 ]  F
& ~- O, o* ]' m0 \unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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4 G/ B2 X: D0 Z( l; m* I** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
! b1 `9 `% `2 W; V( v5 {2 por forward with love
# o( \' ^# m! d& ~2 ]' _to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.