Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
, O) {! s  g. N0 zMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
9 \. R) N/ W: @4 i% Y: YDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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* E2 I- b1 m- M0 vJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' _; G$ c$ [' WCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
$ K% ?9 U. z4 ~" l% C7 q/ \variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
  u+ x' @& Y" Q- n( M8 ]; G7 @primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% [4 K, q; w+ k; j9 \$ E6 R+ y( CTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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/ ?9 `5 n2 _& J9 hRESPONSIBILITIES:
" s" _) U$ x6 MThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 p0 ]+ W) L1 ]5 q5 vuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. O, [* |2 _. F- e+ e( m  c3 Dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 g6 ]* @2 b1 U1 Q) Min case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
% }% ?' L" l$ i$ j: wsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 m5 r2 r$ V  ^' ?- ?6 P; T9 ^Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
4 M7 g! z2 w5 a  Chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  r7 t" [( y0 ]! IMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
5 a8 O) o# V: J) Q2 OMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
1 Z/ E  Q: E+ K) c) Tjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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8 ?3 I( l. ]% ]; O- LPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
/ D; `, Z' j( }! q  Qcan ultimately surpass you.
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0 O7 q7 M3 o% P1 o. C; R+ xPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
0 _1 p4 l7 @, P4 I, M" ?$ }$ vNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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4 u% c8 [: O) p6 t8 `  ^WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 I* h- Y) {: e0 }) zGet this! You pay them!
! w9 F0 F* a, ?  [" LOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
: G4 y4 h% m* `# s1 |+ Ebecome financially independent.
+ \" b- D9 O* |" K; j% UWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. d4 Y; p$ O! gyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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" {" t( O  |4 [# A* }9 z8 xBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
# c% J5 w- }2 r2 I' {no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; j8 Z6 h- ]3 V+ T1 o$ ]+ \5 Bno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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, S1 ]' o/ q7 v" D. _/ n; F$ ~  }% ~unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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9 {+ u/ @3 A5 P: e5 \for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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% t8 {' z% g, X! ~% m6 v! hForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
& L8 A$ B9 j* u0 zletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.