Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( h1 A4 C* n7 w+ iDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
4 Z' u; N* B, B! ]& ]8 ]- g' o; O) ~
4 i. \0 @0 T* T& T- [
, z  V. D) n' Q9 [- gJOB DESCRIPTION:
6 c; C& c" a+ U& V$ b4 `0 M" y9 B. ULong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
* {0 }7 q8 t; c7 m) D/ }and organizational skills and be willing to work
2 \' U: T: f& W4 Y( tvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
% Q! Z4 Z% G' G0 w/ xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
) w1 \$ i' B, B& Zendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
! E! I3 m% Q$ C
" N* ~, A2 ]8 x* g0 ]" vRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
! I1 `' k( A* q- p1 bMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
. k3 M. y0 m8 T& {Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
8 e: o, j8 t4 p  L+ Nand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- l% s/ N3 r6 E: x  H, G7 B) `in case, this time, the screams from
' h7 G! \( S) K+ L" H5 fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
, M- L3 M3 W, O! o- c. GMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" C( X3 ]0 C; G7 B- a# |$ M% |3 I& bsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
2 H" H) n, t9 L- R* A. L3 S2 ^$ cand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
  r( m( ~: Z6 V5 d/ U7 ]: [coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( I- p4 W8 |6 Z9 S) Q* T" v' AMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" F& ?9 ]2 Y$ T- ?1 S8 J8 Z8 FMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
  O2 m2 m* l3 b6 _+ gMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, {  K' j+ _. X+ r/ y' M6 F. Q& Ghalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 H% ^% u" k1 qMust assume final, complete accountability for
7 M  m  R, ], C" B" w% _( ?the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 z& X. t! \; P6 Y6 @janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
) q0 f* z( W% Y+ NYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
) A2 f; _  W. B# H9 l) L, [without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
" n+ k5 x/ j- G" P* i, Tcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. ?6 S+ Q3 @( m0 t7 B- XNone required, unfortunately.
0 M  P5 ]/ ~! Z) n8 ?On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
* n" X. \7 \: t3 O8 `2 L) y8 M
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
& g: E9 ~+ I9 x: o7 F" fGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
% G- Y  o( O7 Z: u: ya balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
6 E. {% A& o5 p# }, pbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 c4 o# a. W) Q: t: s/ R7 rThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
" J1 F8 p9 i- O& x+ N8 [# [
* q# ?2 u+ g4 Y9 a2 B/ ?. M; ?BENEFITS:
, S4 q  z" ?& ]. ^/ NWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* v% W7 D) f0 U% D5 y4 }: \; k- Rno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

0 h6 w5 X% m" t5 u: @  O

- [( Q. L* o+ S; s
" a- ?. N+ C/ B4 m6 o8 k& R** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
. Q- l, v! [" ~9 \, Q
* \2 y1 Q3 n# b  }9 }8 |4 a
9 f9 N3 `( [0 A4 h
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
9 h$ p+ X# h' s0 D! i: u  Bfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
3 p7 n; f$ e' z! Zto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
" {" \" d+ H9 x; l7 ]! m" \
  v( @' C8 A8 o  f' ?+ p2 \

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.