Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( k) G3 P3 v# K' }Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
; m5 b# }' ^/ dLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
+ o3 G. q, r4 `. q9 j! band organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
$ @2 T# `7 ~! w9 }% Fprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% j+ M, Y3 g$ w* [( {% a7 fendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
9 i, q: _- F4 [5 b$ d7 hTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

8 a% b2 F0 j2 i$ D/ l& s% VRESPONSIBILITIES:
/ W6 q% g- ?) ]$ ?* {0 r# ZThe rest of your life.
" w) k8 {1 o: A; iMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 ?3 z7 K+ d$ o1 z1 Runtil someone needs $5.
# m$ h8 |. \9 f' q% b% N9 [$ Q& {Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
' i' F' p4 }0 ~6 |Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
$ ^, r7 Q0 H: l: o1 g) Yin case, this time, the screams from
8 R3 z/ A/ R5 D/ t9 Wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
* h' v0 _% @# G0 p2 A  F  Dand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ m2 M" h: H, h9 @8 UMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
: K6 l( ^. c9 G' t/ XMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
' X  ~3 @0 M, E9 b1 }half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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. [& y* l$ a0 ]8 ~7 z8 A  pPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 c8 {7 h3 P, u* @2 iwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
  h! g0 f( u. K4 b* Dupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
7 B2 q8 @7 A6 c) zcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
% z8 a  }+ q1 K& Y' O9 UOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
9 o+ j$ x  Q- wOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
, T. j7 Y7 m- L) g% Nbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
- _% Z% {1 C, J2 Q/ O8 V: dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
5 y5 e" z, _# u- tno stock options are offered,
. R6 A5 l+ L5 L1 y+ _, d# O7 Mthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



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- M4 j! a0 {# z- s** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
9 _% J; g( H( f% cor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.