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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:7 G$ x5 N9 D7 G7 v' {- h
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 6 i8 M4 p7 X' J4 _: z
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
) [  w# P' W1 Q9 h& L6 dLong term, team players needed for challenging,
; m" X) v6 b# a5 g9 V; l' b& d( r4 ^9 @. v4 b
permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 7 j& o8 c- d9 J4 e" d
Candidates must possess excellent communication
' F9 y1 W! z& b8 Q% Kand organizational skills and be willing to work
% h9 ^+ C1 c" M( T( {: K/ W1 jvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
$ p" v. ?) E# X& S. xand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 j( n; s% c  C" |  {Some overnight travel required, including trips to
0 z+ D6 q3 Q4 u" Jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
- Q" y% f+ ~( g1 \0 j$ Tendless sports tournaments in far away cities! ( v- v4 A$ _" f( b$ ~
Travel expenses not reimbursed. # a. Q" c+ z8 d
Extensive courier duties also required. : H6 Z  \  U) F: k# ]1 h( k" J

: {  ?5 P9 i& x1 E  U3 x4 [RESPONSIBILITIES:6 v( A" h' E0 U6 x
The rest of your life. ! X, q6 t9 e8 O+ V( V
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
! }+ ~3 |+ l- \7 ]. Kuntil someone needs $5.
& H+ O$ M8 U7 |3 ]) }Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 1 w/ D4 j4 J' [$ [0 Y
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
- J% ~4 Y' t% M) r% [! Q$ \and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 D+ s* o8 F1 Din case, this time, the screams from
$ r4 T4 k9 J' a2 y7 @0 m) _+ [6 ythe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* N2 B3 b: s# Y9 s( qMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 5 J' B$ H# M! j; T
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets , e; R/ `# k+ s% q
and stuck zippers. 7 T$ G4 n- d# W5 T! b, b
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
+ ?: }7 ]4 w# A, Rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. 2 B4 A# g3 |3 i6 D
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. - C# T8 p7 J) _5 G7 e3 l" C! L0 N
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 0 p8 D2 R0 G2 m# Z2 U; G
an embarrassment the next.
+ A- Z& [/ g9 pMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, I5 C( H) r+ y+ Ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
  G8 r4 }# U% q7 E. K7 zMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ) N5 P3 X. ^' W
Must assume final, complete accountability for
' J% z' E, F1 i: g3 Vthe quality of the end product. ( Z4 X" m) D4 i
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 n, r; F3 z% f  s9 O; J( Wjanitorial work  throughout the facility. ! I1 [- T; D& @# ~0 v# `7 c/ _& l

9 n0 |6 X! k) j% B' D, E# a. jPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
  f5 \% Q+ A' Z1 b' z: q$ TNone. 6 g6 _. A, {$ D. }! R; q
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
4 v5 d- L5 k! m; d4 Iwithout complaining,constantly retraining and 0 w7 o8 `% E2 B0 o* I
updating your skills, so that those in your charge 8 Z9 v8 ~* h6 j( x
can ultimately surpass you.* L/ `3 `7 p& ~
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5 K. L6 ~: N/ q1 UPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" V5 v4 e8 {% h8 w: mNone required, unfortunately.
0 Q8 B# [* ]! V, w, W0 @) x, _On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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5 M/ R( L7 H) N5 g& i. \! hWAGES AND COMPENSATION: 9 v- A9 p/ X4 I6 H' P" {
Get this! You pay them! # o, L' d  }$ D' r8 z& D
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
4 n; a, o% w! s: f( Fa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 4 b7 B+ |0 T- ?+ u7 \
of the assumption that college will help them 2 D6 c& O4 a* x
become financially independent. 6 L$ p, }$ M$ U2 ?4 ~% X9 z6 y, w2 j
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
" O6 Z8 a# U6 r' E7 b% s. HThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, {" |/ r- ^) Q% S! c! byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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  U. @- k9 F9 a/ s7 EBENEFITS: * z1 t" ^, G$ X1 ^, M7 K1 g; K1 H
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, : `+ \! t+ g1 Q* i; A3 B
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
2 u4 V% e8 P8 f  n: ~7 f4 ~4 F; E0 sno stock options are offered,9 o$ T" q& w" L! G0 v1 r
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 1 ^; @5 D# @: i, J+ U" Z  a

8 g6 ~, @0 p) z# u* q, @unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 9 t5 M8 F0 V. @* O* l

. W6 |% p3 X9 P  w: M  o6 N" Pfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **  e' Q* B" b* Q1 i9 i1 V8 M& |9 T
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! [1 a' Y/ I2 A$ g/ L9 ]( nForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 0 A+ w4 U& D# ~# |2 T, {, H" _9 t9 b
letting them know they are appreciated
4 S2 M  Q# K+ w' M. q1 R  Mfor the fabulous job they do...
  X) X5 E( m3 ^4 \4 gor forward with love 3 [; T( q: W  o
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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