 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
2 U( {# h p& q- a+ ~1 GDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa& u$ q% P s/ s+ J
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. ]% j- g! {2 B/ CJOB DESCRIPTION:
; W* [. y5 T0 ?/ I4 F6 cLong term, team players needed for challenging,6 d2 f% z h, E, d
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
. x& _4 {2 k0 y6 U% TCandidates must possess excellent communication
, v( t/ ^: j: I5 U7 V* h; }, Tand organizational skills and be willing to work 3 \# h7 n# v6 w: r. e
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends / i& H6 a$ ~( @4 \5 v% h: w
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
b0 Z7 W+ T3 d( e7 D% kSome overnight travel required, including trips to 1 E% ?9 k( X* F+ H% J b% c! M6 v1 o
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 d7 M1 |4 M9 a( X1 b7 oendless sports tournaments in far away cities! 5 ?3 X6 n' Z. u& t, T& N
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 7 P' M; W; u1 [0 l6 Z1 }) p4 Y: A
Extensive courier duties also required. + M: Y X7 W* }" Z2 `) y0 [7 }
3 q0 C5 W8 g- j" xRESPONSIBILITIES:
7 v+ X4 t# L) j6 T F! ]) c! k/ FThe rest of your life. 7 G( \5 A) G2 R. ^
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
5 x2 n( g/ v/ x: g9 ?; c4 quntil someone needs $5. 9 F$ p8 o# A8 _3 a5 p9 j
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. & `5 ?; f8 F+ H/ L, _
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 7 V. T/ l+ I. ] w9 t! n
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
4 J: }& f. l7 e# J. |in case, this time, the screams from
. t1 t8 \! i- L7 F8 s7 hthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 7 t' X' V- s; e* S3 t4 W/ ~. f0 j" S ~
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 1 B4 e& J- f* ~5 N2 g; p% ^
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets $ s0 l$ R2 V/ }+ C
and stuck zippers.
/ d$ g: U, [ ~, k) s9 c, V, RMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and ; M! ?- O% F0 R" I3 c5 p
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" N5 C) m# s& ZMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% Y" z' Q: W& _+ ^9 U) f& {Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
; e7 a3 x5 H/ a1 }an embarrassment the next.
) C# F- B% U% _$ M* Z) r N( i( SMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
: B: Y) Z: J8 D- {- X* Uhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; v0 x8 o( ^! P2 W) |Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
" n( f2 F1 J6 h7 K1 l2 gMust assume final, complete accountability for
* A5 W: k% Z! l3 qthe quality of the end product.
; \& u1 _, s& L; ^1 q; WResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and 9 }' z& s* O9 w- A8 o, j" c
janitorial work throughout the facility. " c9 Y L- w! R q3 k3 L, }; E
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
# J. O/ v* P3 o0 RNone. % k* N! p- ?" W8 e" Q+ q) H. \
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, " a7 a8 ^6 w/ y# U7 b' F+ [$ X
without complaining,constantly retraining and
% @3 [; ]: K P. r" [updating your skills, so that those in your charge 3 A! d2 R7 ~" r3 x) j- f
can ultimately surpass you.' X' q! k6 a& ~" y
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: A, e. Z3 u% m# K; w: P; e
None required, unfortunately. G: C8 k1 O3 _
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 7 T1 k6 t% n; E. R2 C r
; ], T5 f k- hWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' _ v" e2 i6 L$ gGet this! You pay them!
3 W7 b- Y8 w5 V* r4 yOffering frequent raises and bonuses. ' L \) I; a; X$ X" o
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because ; Q6 j5 m9 j& s. e( v
of the assumption that college will help them 0 |! C: u* L' z9 R* h
become financially independent. 8 P" X/ R2 ?9 Q) t2 c
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
0 {: k- x- K# `0 Y5 ? q, {8 rThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
4 @6 J" K6 u( p. jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
4 O/ i: Z( a% t+ ^4 r0 U* }0 [While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ( s: `5 F+ ^$ Z$ [( o
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and . U6 z F4 x+ s$ P- F2 q* i& B
no stock options are offered,$ @, E) t6 O/ D% K1 a ]
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 5 L* q2 y) R# Q- l0 ?" y9 U# `
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 1 g* }& }0 f* k8 t5 @8 G- j
[. M; B/ I" ]9 A1 hfor life if you play your cards right.' s+ ]' H0 ?2 b- [# k5 w: M
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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+ v$ F* l' N' F* `* g2 oForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
6 J8 t" L# }2 J$ |" Gletting them know they are appreciated
5 k- S& ]+ k, ufor the fabulous job they do...
6 |: u$ ^8 {) y* T7 O0 g4 ?7 Zor forward with love
! b! M) h5 @6 c6 gto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
