Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
4 a' L' b- e9 F# K# z6 jMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
' N$ z7 ]6 D0 ]- wLong term, team players needed for challenging,

3 B; }5 n: b: C/ s6 g  z+ \permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
% Y% i& v1 C4 ?" C% }/ jand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
/ p8 A, C6 p9 s+ J, x  B- ZTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
- h& }7 {- O! D6 eMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
5 I( v! B! x! p- P: oin case, this time, the screams from
7 g- H% j9 m5 M& z2 |: u4 zthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  P0 x7 K' C; jsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 V2 M& x5 J) ?/ Z6 C: f# kand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
* S7 D/ _5 c$ Y; G5 m  J7 cMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- Q. {! _. h) p, f( IMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
: L* l" ^. w* P; vMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
4 P1 ~* i2 H: x) F) r) qthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
! S* M% G7 s/ e! lYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
" _# N/ ]7 V$ N- cwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
* R* ]5 ]! h3 k6 m2 H- I2 n6 QNone required, unfortunately.
) S% n7 h  `2 f6 [  H$ kOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

4 ?% J: b% }1 i/ \WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
- T, i3 @& @5 S# x# Z$ e0 H( f2 fGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
. C4 A3 w/ L( ?) {5 cof the assumption that college will help them
0 V1 O  h/ g8 h+ ~& m7 t" nbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
$ u, C3 o8 q$ Y) X8 W' @The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

1 Y9 U" z; b2 @5 N2 fBENEFITS:
9 Z1 |4 m$ E+ P0 Z  [While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
0 m4 a) V: e; dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
; N3 [4 h3 O! z5 H& N& `: j  K/ |this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

7 ~8 z9 J1 G2 y8 A" ]unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

) m$ f/ l. w8 U, `for life if you play your cards right.

% T  E1 s5 w5 r/ v5 s& f  [% d
! u  v1 k8 ^$ Y+ k& K: x3 C. [# |

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

: y/ U1 X! {, E3 o' n8 T5 \" d

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
3 y' ^# `% m$ M$ u! Z; Rletting them know they are appreciated
3 l6 b) q( S  @9 [8 E* ^1 j0 ~for the fabulous job they do...
4 G. U2 n' b+ a  E3 A" w) Gor forward with love
* e9 R& H, h* o& `to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
' A% [3 W4 g. f, o
( r& ^( p, u) {, D

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.