Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


* i. K! b: V& s- pJOB DESCRIPTION:
' C: D5 L, T2 _Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 N1 j/ p. Z6 }% F* |Candidates must possess excellent communication
/ }: D4 \- ~7 @" Y& I; G* ^- I: M6 Hand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 B; P' }* Y2 z" E* yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 a, t% z6 p% V1 f4 V/ }Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
3 D2 @$ x  g6 i! |7 xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
. [6 p7 Y2 G% S7 E8 ?5 M) D( pExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
$ Z& n: h0 \' T0 {6 AThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
2 r; H' @: c' m/ G( uMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
5 s5 n, N: V2 t- K- T, d4 T! |and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
8 M  T" `0 Y  ^$ f3 K/ R+ J5 ?in case, this time, the screams from
  b. B" x/ B" p6 ithe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
& ^3 H5 ?8 ]; K* n* RMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
8 [, {" B. w, P8 U8 W8 G7 D& S5 `! Dcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
5 J9 o- `. S1 ZMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 a: o' v- c' ~& L" H7 \an embarrassment the next.
/ }2 l* h2 ~9 B, ]. e& ?6 [' r3 SMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ u) \7 u" I" V: Z0 [half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
, X* M4 q+ n* ^% G$ w5 q: \Must assume final, complete accountability for
. e( P8 ^' O4 o6 mthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 q5 G. q2 j( G6 D' S; I. ujanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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  n: I# ]6 y4 ~9 d" g8 a9 U7 V& PPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
1 B6 d* P* }) v3 ~; U" Iupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
  |! y% x7 m# f; f" c* Z( COn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
5 W3 Y  J, {# }3 S9 S; @4 ^1 x
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
# L* \; y7 o0 z8 HGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
  B, [) A) ?. U5 g' Lof the assumption that college will help them
; ?9 C5 n1 |! ~0 vbecome financially independent.
. H( P1 P' I7 v+ W( u( @. |When you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 S" K& z$ h. rThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
& B4 w& S, s. T& Dyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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/ f5 k0 s4 z% z: ^: HBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
+ y* x/ \4 A6 W
6 S: ^9 {. y+ l1 K) W7 I6 X8 Lunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
& y2 w* o) m9 R
9 ?# M3 u4 O3 D& H) ~for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
% F% C& \) ]7 {: T8 c; |6 zletting them know they are appreciated
) T' z$ v$ Q+ Q4 u6 X' u* jfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
6 e6 ~6 w9 o2 Ito anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.