Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
1 c3 T7 k9 a- x/ V) J" IDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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+ l7 I$ t0 |9 k% C" KJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
9 {. x  j" |: H1 X' Y
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
, `. f0 s# d4 ?0 {Candidates must possess excellent communication
. k7 @- w1 T8 ^+ W, pand organizational skills and be willing to work
. L; X( L9 J7 ~3 g; n1 \5 ]variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* D. A( j0 e' H1 Y3 s+ ^5 Sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
/ `2 {3 l6 P, o) M6 R6 G# E$ j- S; Nprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
6 {& k8 H; w- A  B0 `/ HExtensive courier duties also required.
, D% a: T2 [0 [2 a
RESPONSIBILITIES:
  q- ]2 }( o  `: zThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' u+ x' c% Q8 V& W2 [1 Nuntil someone needs $5.
: G% u% v$ Z- w6 F) {, cMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
7 ]. q# C- p3 ]  y/ ]6 z+ |Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* y2 U) S0 I2 B) jMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
0 k) v% b( D, |Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
+ m9 K  q3 ^, G+ ]; fhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ C3 z3 E! ?0 f; ]. u4 X& eMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. r" [7 w- @, [' I& K% ~! v% q0 z! OMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

5 ~/ d9 U: c/ ~4 c* jPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
2 o& r. Q# J1 }, N- zYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
' x: V" L0 [5 g! p3 t2 `% Dwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
6 W$ Q& ~/ m2 U2 y) ]7 e  V, ]updating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 e! [0 h* W" I$ ocan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
& B4 S1 q- K7 O* M% q' \; YOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
4 H+ w# X3 g1 F2 A$ \) H9 ^7 hOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
* u; z3 k$ v: I* _; pa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
) y8 b. q0 R  X9 Q) I, Q' h+ [The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, ^8 O/ ]4 U; Z! ?* v$ W9 s& xyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
, h# o$ S1 q# Z8 M: ]While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
/ }! {: x' l7 x( l6 w- Q9 O8 l+ Lthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

! l+ r! i' k/ {9 w! kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

7 X1 v" W/ H" A* d+ Tfor life if you play your cards right.
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6 E: D2 P+ M& {  O: |1 T** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
5 `  b0 R/ i' _; ?+ N  N' d9 qletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
$ ^2 o, z7 b9 d& m% Q8 a, _0 ^+ ]( C+ N: cor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.