Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


% p: |% L9 G* u/ I' ?  [JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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$ X7 e9 n# g: V  D6 @" Gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
: Q0 H5 u: X7 j9 D# U* d( Cvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
. k. j. x/ {' Vand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 X7 \) M1 `9 J* d4 i8 k% m, QSome overnight travel required, including trips to
0 R2 u* t* U. H4 d$ T) {primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
& l. m! ]! L( Y' Z* b/ h1 MExtensive courier duties also required.

5 o7 H9 {# Q$ A, O2 GRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
4 Z. O+ d# E9 U# r1 r4 wMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% i7 J2 e' v7 }* ^+ ]# uuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ a, U+ H8 m1 i& G% a' i" g! l) fand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
* t. b& Z5 u3 S+ N* ], din case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
; |; H1 i3 Z/ V0 m0 O& M1 `  fMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
- L) t1 f% O4 D+ e' [5 G) j' psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
: d  n% T' _1 g5 n3 T2 Ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
' V- V: a5 l, S8 r( |Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
  e- [: Y  G6 ghalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
( A, X! l& c7 F2 {2 j" ~Must assume final, complete accountability for
2 {: x5 `" u4 F9 ]the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
: o' r& @* r- Ijanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
, I: R4 `; r# p1 Vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. I# k  z5 o' Z7 {5 G, X: }4 HNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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- d* \3 b, c' GWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 ~" S; e/ r4 ~3 ~/ \7 b/ c. GGet this! You pay them!
' b" ]9 E, w1 l; V$ FOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
# N4 I( H6 L- w/ Da balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ [3 M1 Q0 n" Tof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
- N; |4 }" q" SThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
/ g- _: }: N! c/ a4 m/ vWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
  R4 p9 r5 G$ z5 _3 r% Vno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) j  f0 j" w: @2 z8 f% ?: Dno stock options are offered,
) K# K7 n4 `1 O) p0 ^this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

. K! K% \& Y  N! T. f- |! Bunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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: Q- C! n( q  H) t/ ?( U** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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2 y4 v+ a2 e: x: q, Y, C
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
" V5 m8 D' Y( r( ]1 h" ]to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.