Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
4 e5 K2 |" ?4 M2 s: @0 ^Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
4 |9 }+ n* ?3 P- X# {variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) f  h0 s* j0 @$ w; [and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
5 W% x+ a8 K2 }& Qprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 J; f$ h7 G8 r4 Z8 R1 x0 Vendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
- h) H2 j+ u6 @6 |Extensive courier duties also required.
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" g* F: L; N' NRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
& L# S8 N% G" qMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
8 s3 i2 m* T* g% Huntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
) |1 n: O8 i" \; y+ sAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
4 n! q  b, X8 N! d( U2 e, lin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
! I  }: d! \  hMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
% t0 S; g# P- X/ d& |0 [* Gand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' r6 P5 G- R: N# AMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, `" n& `/ D9 man embarrassment the next.
" F2 L* R6 u1 [4 Q7 GMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
% `5 }: z5 ^; O  H0 B7 ?) r% nMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
' J' N* k6 q# Zthe quality of the end product.
# E. ?+ Q7 {0 A9 Z/ i+ `& zResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
: C. m0 B3 q% b, Qjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
6 g3 O7 A$ u/ m. qNone.
/ t5 B$ D) Z6 t3 G3 tYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
5 I7 E% v) E/ r, U) JNone required, unfortunately.
6 o0 R0 T+ i9 {$ S$ NOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

1 ?  b& s9 ^8 a% CWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
- H2 g- I6 v* p3 T) S2 ma balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
: ^8 @5 I0 I2 S# z8 t$ s1 Uof the assumption that college will help them
; X( i* H" d# h: [become financially independent.
) Q  A/ c6 A8 Z, m# }+ yWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 Q) t6 q3 k% O  Dyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
$ o9 E" ]; U+ c8 T! k- ~
6 }! }4 r6 W7 ^' X+ bBENEFITS:
$ P' n/ J; {5 i/ C0 P* V( jWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
: h' T" F. G5 h2 T( i% O( athis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
3 f# H1 K+ _( u
3 b; b4 Z2 s  e. J5 a* Q4 S1 |( l0 uunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

( M( C  w$ L) W; B; Z+ Mfor life if you play your cards right.

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+ e) v3 |# V/ k$ I) ^/ C** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



  d5 e2 M! u# v$ F- Q$ Y6 k2 \Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
! w9 K- t" A& X' ~/ u( X4 kto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.