Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
$ O1 h2 @0 ]$ j3 R- m+ R. e8 ?/ u

: ~$ i& u& f- O3 _JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
4 ?) `5 X# ]& tCandidates must possess excellent communication
% x! h% m- Q& m: Y% p& E7 }and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
. _. T6 O0 T! d  W; R2 Eendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
' s" K0 s4 _9 B4 R2 J* ZTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
5 ~- w' |0 Y) g
RESPONSIBILITIES:
! y) B2 o: D/ U/ f( Z" _: D/ qThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
" T6 U) |; G+ ?$ }until someone needs $5.
, N7 Y( Z0 ?- ZMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
: L: b9 |$ R" Z/ ]" u# QAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* ]6 q  q3 F& J: e- ?and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
, K: I: S6 q0 J! M6 O1 i# Tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 O/ L, q, V/ z/ y; {1 |7 X" w" c/ PMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ s: X) `) p! F" m1 E/ }such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: D& ]5 H& V( @# C% A  P8 ~9 pand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
3 i/ f) y! l( r) K! `coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ g* r9 k3 P9 d% b" KMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. M  H* ]6 e9 l2 S2 Q1 ], M- y' |an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. C7 ]0 N. Y- F- t; K5 Z% shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 j" f0 @- q; gMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
8 i  w8 L* c( N3 k% s0 vMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
$ N+ `$ N9 I! K; I/ ljanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
) E5 l2 z4 L- \/ f9 X, Mwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
  r$ n, p  @' t3 Xcan ultimately surpass you.


" j' o) P' }! GPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 G+ i4 R) z& f2 {- s: _/ e- yNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
2 {6 y+ [( u: c# Y( _* p
, ~% G5 o" N& G/ P. pWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
9 \2 A5 ~7 H) n8 eOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
; v2 T0 ~; s+ B6 \3 |- Ua balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
1 o; l9 `% I, `2 a1 [3 \become financially independent.
' r; H# g4 L, K( [When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
+ ?/ R4 u% j, h+ m3 H9 u, Yyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

) ?; L& B+ {+ J$ @5 J1 CBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 B8 I7 d% s% Tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
8 j2 D0 z) H" n: |this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
( O+ E5 Q) f! k3 f7 |

# O0 h  z4 U/ `2 I" j+ A8 z5 }, _

$ o8 R* D5 O7 u3 ]# H' w6 R( d$ m** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


% x* L: X( @6 J" R
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 F; }; h8 J" e  y# N6 N& tletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
  ]9 ^7 a9 m# z) _" ]or forward with love
0 G. m: o( t9 `to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
& c9 B3 a6 c, B$ e4 w7 _
. l; S2 |( t/ [2 l+ P

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.