Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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1 Q" l, ^/ |0 |  D% c' A4 X% wJOB DESCRIPTION:
% [  C" T( G- r% e3 CLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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* R- i' e! C" V& ]permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
4 I/ O& o3 y0 d: C8 G; ACandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 L. a/ ?+ k% U& l6 E! ]and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
% x# @6 |$ }0 y' R" Iprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
+ \) w8 H" Y& r' m. OMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
/ F' j# ?  e) U% _7 _9 j- Runtil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  G5 M# Y" ?9 z3 `8 Q% Q( rand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
4 i+ f4 h9 X$ v& Q! Pin case, this time, the screams from
! ~' A; {2 C* w+ z$ cthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 W1 C0 t- A/ T# d4 \Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
# M% U% K. g3 O$ D. K6 KMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( ?  x/ N! k8 l" c7 Y* u& Acoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
2 r$ J+ U$ r7 m9 san embarrassment the next.
3 g# g# o* d7 h: }9 {$ {1 C6 SMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
# Y( K  Y" [9 A+ @, G( Ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
1 [, ~& ?4 F5 f8 z* m/ \. YMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
2 x" z, r% O6 u1 j7 z2 {; q# g1 uthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

6 l/ t6 {2 R1 [9 r. ?6 Q4 i' XPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
9 _# s) I* I' I! D+ r/ hYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
- g6 R8 l! v* x7 U4 k/ |0 ?can ultimately surpass you.
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, Q& N  v  s  ^& Y( v5 B7 l, hPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
# |- M) ?; d/ kOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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1 m, q( u) q/ L1 U* W& n6 SWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 Q: `# u3 L  v0 I& K" D& Y6 qGet this! You pay them!
( v- t7 |/ `: I, @% x% qOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
- v- p, \+ H3 g; abecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
3 k6 Z: \" z  d* h% F- DThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

7 K" i! `% K6 y: i& _: i3 |. NBENEFITS:
5 v: {3 F# y9 d, y; WWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) z' F% ?: L9 K8 x. Yno stock options are offered,
1 Q/ T4 w9 {4 |* |' K0 @this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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( I6 J4 e) ?# \9 U0 d4 B6 Munconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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; T* ?" }4 q7 Afor life if you play your cards right.


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/ @) {5 s8 H3 [- i5 H** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
! e1 d; ^7 v. b2 `or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.