Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
2 G, p6 A& g2 Y/ G- gMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
0 T1 j6 _* p6 Q( `' R/ eDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

6 i% j+ ]* s$ n7 \  P
( Z5 m: w) t9 C2 Q+ v) A& GJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
& b( p% A# K0 x
: t' @5 L! ?4 f& _* }& g& t& lpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 X* J6 W* G6 @: m5 R4 B. X% R, Q5 bCandidates must possess excellent communication
* `- R* j! V& Y, F% }and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
9 K- y8 Y/ d3 l5 d$ fprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  f( B2 E/ U* _% G2 d0 e% Zendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
0 w  O9 x+ O" c: }; ^
/ c; Q5 `. V9 t! FRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* T* t5 c+ q6 n. muntil someone needs $5.
, S" i" i3 i  P: v" }; D: VMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
% S! I& u" |0 b# }5 j4 u# f5 Kand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
  j7 W; L% ?& @  a' nin case, this time, the screams from
4 w+ p! n3 L% k% v* V9 sthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" M+ L8 A: V1 g$ m+ }such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 M0 s$ B: X1 K& f0 m0 ^$ G' lcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 C8 v  X" t& Man embarrassment the next.
7 o9 x8 F4 Z' A3 E- @; g* W. C: C5 dMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
$ T* S8 v* [  p' aMust assume final, complete accountability for
7 a+ g: L% J8 c* U+ g- g- `' c$ nthe quality of the end product.
; k1 b) U# [2 I' KResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
2 h8 t- `% N9 g# ?7 a2 Y
5 d+ F& v6 V4 ]2 \( _; mPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
; {0 N/ m' D  E( H( d! RYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
: o1 M. X' k7 bwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
& }  ]1 {/ h2 ccan ultimately surpass you.

$ ~, C! j, }1 H9 g' k$ G6 n
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
  n* F; F! |& o5 KOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
, w' K0 Y" J$ o; e/ T
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' S; f: z* S9 M. S6 i2 iGet this! You pay them!
- t# G$ D  L$ A8 k1 G" uOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
, c3 K( M& z8 @: C! G- J: r* pof the assumption that college will help them
6 ?# L5 b1 g! m5 G1 g( ebecome financially independent.
* R  t0 g5 ]: _When you die, you give them whatever is left.
  T0 A/ B) G" P" P8 y' PThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. s4 s- y  [# q2 u6 [/ v6 I, Qyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
* |3 H' N! _5 e+ L
. S7 p! _4 @0 |' lBENEFITS:
4 I7 l% n7 K" qWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
; E  q% H1 O5 u( Q; K: i$ Cno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

6 H. _! d1 @# Y+ @% @: H) }# z% ]6 Funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
0 T$ k* q5 N: [  q
7 y  H! b! S! ]% o8 O& i4 Cfor life if you play your cards right.



, b+ M4 t6 p8 J3 [8 a  R- c) y# R
3 j0 V6 {6 O; `+ P- ^** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

2 N8 w& X& A% k) w
2 y% f! b' G: M! j$ F7 n1 C
/ q( ?- {9 P* G$ S! {9 UForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
/ s8 V5 }/ g+ c1 L+ O# Sletting them know they are appreciated
- a+ u+ s* ~* G* p3 X8 q# Lfor the fabulous job they do...
2 \3 x" ~1 g9 |' \4 s# @# B9 Mor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

! d, L8 z2 h6 b" k5 R9 S

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.