埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 3173|回复: 2

Job Description - Parent

[复制链接]
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:" M. k- c, j* ~: V. S+ ^
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma ) h1 W3 ^8 G8 H2 g
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

0 I. U# J  F0 W+ _
, F/ i, f0 t4 ?' F/ D5 q$ w6 ]+ ]: S4 s+ o) z0 ?
JOB DESCRIPTION:8 x  i' u& g. x% ^
Long term, team players needed for challenging,8 ^$ t/ s4 F. c0 D
6 F: ]/ r2 o# g( n
permanent work in an often chaotic environment. 6 ^# g( ]6 V- |5 F" {( e2 F
Candidates must possess excellent communication 4 [* H/ y+ n( K" ]$ g6 i
and organizational skills and be willing to work
$ Z3 N6 k% Q  mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends : u, `0 V; Z2 ^0 D
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 w6 l- a( W8 k- A8 GSome overnight travel required, including trips to
5 d+ J2 @' A/ i0 R2 w, `primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
! {/ L3 w# @) t. K3 \% Uendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% T  F9 F) i1 w6 N1 c2 f8 wTravel expenses not reimbursed. * u/ b3 P, z% j5 r! ?3 ?
Extensive courier duties also required. $ _" u( q0 L; S4 @. u7 M: r" I* D7 v
, e. u4 q0 f- Y+ H2 w: K$ f" K
RESPONSIBILITIES:: t* E/ Y2 I* T
The rest of your life. ( B1 \1 ?& w6 D7 ~% \& z; q7 B3 ~; ?
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 f2 e$ \9 ?7 r9 l8 P* ?- Wuntil someone needs $5.
& J; L/ E+ ]/ p2 O3 b) nMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. - r/ W% z2 C$ Q
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 4 n' Q1 D% U9 I$ g6 K  v
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
0 M4 W1 x6 s! @7 Bin case, this time, the screams from 3 o. `. n' n/ W1 z
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 A4 b% B' E4 J8 p9 e. b2 Q2 \" qMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 f$ S% Z8 \' u. E  usuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
" }. t+ l4 g6 q& _/ Oand stuck zippers.
+ R4 T) y0 S" i9 lMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ l7 x( @; F6 e  l4 q# j) B" Gcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 t6 ]& b7 {8 o  KMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
) _; v) A$ g+ {; [7 m1 T4 m, nMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, / y! ?) V6 f) T0 ], n4 l
an embarrassment the next.
8 g: d! e: m* Q8 V3 m4 c% Y/ [Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a # `. t  k1 J# X4 J+ }- {
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ P; J7 q" I3 p( q/ tMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ' Q/ [9 \. m( o* _- P7 ?
Must assume final, complete accountability for , B$ k6 u, ?  e1 ]' q8 J7 p6 U
the quality of the end product.
( N8 b7 h! k- `5 }! `! S6 U2 j) `Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
/ G$ W) C4 N5 ^1 _# I- g& d8 e8 S5 ?janitorial work  throughout the facility. 0 n/ E) N- B+ O
& B5 ?1 l* B8 M, g! l
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:8 j' A9 ~0 L: q8 J8 O9 k! g% V
None. & {8 T& W$ ~, e9 ]8 v# p2 W
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
( O# U/ d3 s# f5 i1 ^6 X" K+ Q; Awithout complaining,constantly retraining and
; Y' i; R- x3 M' s8 g( nupdating your skills, so that those in your charge 8 v% X) D# C5 ^/ e5 \! D
can ultimately surpass you." ^% }7 @2 s0 M/ M5 f

6 G1 y4 B- U' c! n% B  i
- N, W7 ~1 T7 c; q5 `+ ~4 u, e' VPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
- o% Q( z& R* A9 f+ f" [5 INone required, unfortunately. ) Y. r( j0 E! [3 [8 t
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
  |* z3 G  w, O; }: W& r, z* B* S( ?+ C5 y
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* P7 n! S' R6 j7 nGet this! You pay them! # {9 g5 N7 p" G( J, a7 |
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. , f  G, j# Y0 q) p6 v4 W& C
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 7 Q* b. v. E) ]/ V! N: B
of the assumption that college will help them 6 ]3 W6 _! G  ~2 U& g
become financially independent. : H* u0 v& k$ i1 z
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
' l/ Q7 G2 `1 ~: |7 n- RThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ! N( J5 ]1 y# R* I4 B. s* z% ]
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
0 Q4 Y7 ^4 p( Q5 d  {
2 {+ `# c/ K- V# L3 a# [BENEFITS: 9 E7 H0 p7 U' h/ k; N5 B0 z1 I
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 5 b6 S4 e# ^7 ^8 h9 X5 g
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and   g/ |; i. k- Q9 s: h9 v( k: L* Z& ]
no stock options are offered,
- p: i' [# \/ t. {this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, & C' T8 _2 R+ S7 _9 q

+ n! y( _3 |: _2 ?unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
. o6 |7 q4 I9 \9 U( M$ E- d( l6 x3 c
for life if you play your cards right.
' k6 [- f- U; o$ s$ N6 \1 H/ a. x1 F3 l6 E* ^& p
0 Z* G7 m3 t2 V6 ~$ E
" ^3 k+ Z. |- B" B; b  L" v& E
. f* P4 ^- l2 m$ c
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **3 `; W1 P+ _' z4 h1 Z) ?
& X0 f  p! y2 j( W

; u; o. j5 M0 T, W, {" X1 b
* `3 ^9 S! A! i* z+ }Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 0 k8 {' ^9 _3 P: A9 \
letting them know they are appreciated
  l/ A2 F* e9 w. xfor the fabulous job they do...
4 E, X4 L5 v) l6 g0 H: W7 Hor forward with love
) h: }: v5 o, W$ Cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
# f' Z; M9 w7 U+ `0 i9 r9 v& E$ e% b, d: l
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-2-22 02:28 , Processed in 0.105751 second(s), 13 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表