Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% \3 v5 M8 ~8 L+ [6 v8 X; VDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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' Z: L3 t1 X8 z9 A6 V( v, C- P) n' uJOB DESCRIPTION:
. i0 j% J8 r0 ]/ q% ?Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
8 p/ B6 j0 P* z' n, X* eand organizational skills and be willing to work
% y, c* Y( N1 G, t) m& d& i* r3 W& Xvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
, L. m2 g6 I. i5 p5 U8 [$ Dprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
) z! H* D) h; @3 KTravel expenses not reimbursed.
. E3 h0 o5 P2 k2 yExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
, J0 p; a) Q" K- _+ E+ m( ]% EMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
; Z$ w' c" R' h! |% g( IMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
7 d7 _! X; ^, v1 H- S. h: c( E9 Qthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
  f5 o) w6 [8 b3 u4 BMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. O' F* y) C% v  Ahalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 P: B, v/ |$ eMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
; M6 W$ F* [/ d0 Kjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
- s6 u4 {* I. n9 U+ `- B5 e/ SYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
$ J6 ~1 z, k! b' S! wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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& r8 x$ @: a9 V! }, zPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
& w& h1 z9 h, C3 l/ ~! x$ D2 mNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" m( i) l0 _8 |Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
8 K$ r4 ]6 j$ P9 f9 a9 abecome financially independent.
& }; c' D1 j& C& G6 d8 D, vWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
2 T& R5 e4 N/ K# _$ b$ @# o2 Q$ i6 \The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
# O8 u1 C! E: @no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
" ]5 D2 q: i8 @9 K* ~3 E7 F: o2 `' o5 \
- i" F5 P" w/ [2 H/ b. y5 zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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4 N& Q( u! I8 i# l0 Qfor life if you play your cards right.

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, |- Z" H: H" v0 k' e& u** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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9 v- h5 o$ I' o4 aForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* m+ @0 T: Q0 m' _9 fletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
9 Z7 s5 O! g8 A) k; Aor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.