Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) q' o/ o" q$ [( K* ?& }. |" iDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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: T- \5 v% o1 q; g6 lJOB DESCRIPTION:
; Z9 j* d4 w8 h0 S6 Q1 B  T% xLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 ~: b! f# u9 a, }Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
# O; _1 [3 b+ m2 J) Y; Y' cand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; ^( U7 S. ~# X4 F( T& [; V. [Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
  `$ _0 E2 L6 g& k" x2 ]5 @endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
( Q  r. `  _: T7 kExtensive courier duties also required.
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% m  G/ m* o5 H+ W/ jRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
4 G( v% V0 c/ l, cuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. i: Y/ b( K/ y8 ]" J# cAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
: I2 t* `) Z. [5 j$ bMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
5 Q' R0 a" A# M* q2 o+ ^3 {) ssuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
& S3 W0 s3 z& E" fand stuck zippers.
! R# r0 L8 s/ f) Z; JMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
! i3 A$ Z; C+ d% ?coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) r1 }2 u& x1 P% E% x0 YMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
* B2 a( x0 q' s6 l& F- kan embarrassment the next.
$ W0 n# K- m. z9 A2 N2 BMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. Z5 h2 t, t; Ahalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 w- P6 }. t& G" ajanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
: X6 S. h- @! h6 F3 U& Uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
* l( B0 e" Y8 u4 Ncan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
# u5 u/ q4 m9 y7 o, `# TOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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) S; a3 y2 C- ?" j+ KWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) v6 [! ~1 g# g; r) n& V1 LGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
: k& v: N; u" J0 }1 Ta balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) G/ h' `* I( ~* Tof the assumption that college will help them
7 ^% H- i% e  z. C2 Sbecome financially independent.
6 p: ]9 k5 T/ G/ u, E% q1 O7 |When you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 ]- ^  j. C2 z1 e% RThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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+ b: F7 c. ~# a5 ^2 K  I& {BENEFITS:
* [) c/ `  r7 {While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ A1 b- u3 N6 m( B2 z9 _* Eno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* i6 j/ Q6 \- D$ \5 a) q, p. T1 Dno stock options are offered,
* S" T2 ?. x* B2 y1 x* S8 `this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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3 s3 H9 R4 A+ e1 i& }$ w) u. uunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
3 E& Z3 d5 q5 m# F$ [& B, R* B9 a* f
4 S6 o; d; K" u# z4 R) d; |for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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$ R4 @) u) F- Y% c8 l9 aForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
0 _' r2 v8 q+ |7 oletting them know they are appreciated
2 Z! o# S0 Q3 o" t: i# G* |for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
( `- K! Q2 B$ j4 J, ^to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.