Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
' ]& a6 J! c3 d4 T& e3 `# KDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
% O' P- a6 F, \2 I6 w) qLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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" v6 p% l; V" _1 R% h% [+ Ppermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
9 o; @, J# D6 n5 ?% eCandidates must possess excellent communication
1 |6 S# R# a5 T- P2 q; l8 Xand organizational skills and be willing to work
' B7 M+ Y3 a- u" Qvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
5 r5 F2 ^0 S! z$ kand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
$ D# p) ]3 X- g6 I& eSome overnight travel required, including trips to
: Y/ q7 l# G! \' |$ D* Dprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' |2 S' e6 Y& h+ e6 o9 R9 Hendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
, a  i+ |# T6 n3 v) y7 ]The rest of your life.
. Z9 J& Z8 T. p; @Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
/ X. @3 T# ?! m& }* n2 Auntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; e- P6 h! _; C1 w" Jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
+ s( L% N% T0 M, p4 U. U% q/ h7 ?$ Mthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
- o- K, ]1 I: }/ K# v! JMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
0 E8 {; X% y7 I4 Qcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
: N) a) R3 Q4 r, \2 @Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ ]& x. F" Y  P( Bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) [4 i) Y) A, P* ~/ O/ f# |Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

. m0 v/ U6 N/ M! {  M; j% k$ \POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
/ r: o8 \7 U+ H* z# e  \Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
! S  @# g! ~+ x  L4 Kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
. w% L- g" Y( W# u+ q! h; i% p/ Vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
/ h0 ~/ e( O- R7 L6 Z9 ^8 Ncan ultimately surpass you.

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) f* g& q! _2 G: V5 GPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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0 o8 h! R+ ]/ L; o$ QWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
9 n  O9 i# r1 N- F, k& {When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
2 W# U( L- G$ l, g  ^# }" S! o$ f- Fyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

* z+ q7 A& q& I$ J. _  R, vBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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% L. _# ?" S  R* Bunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
% I  J! b& B& {# s+ yor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.