Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% u- S9 Y/ b5 IDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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  |+ ]) x$ c; _/ g8 UJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
/ B- }9 y8 |$ U1 @; }and organizational skills and be willing to work
. N7 h! d) f2 J' {5 L$ R. Avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
. f" ?* \; X- vand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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8 h  L: ?- D* P! PRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ @5 s, p5 o+ D8 A4 ~. _4 Guntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
4 X. x# r& o' \and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ N2 k! O6 b  nin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* n# |6 n$ g* Z  tMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
- K2 {0 f- `. q) b9 x1 T) g* Isuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
1 G5 y/ n1 S! Y: J2 Cand stuck zippers.
: F4 G* e# \1 H8 Z) dMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
: X' L1 {7 X7 T6 w6 v  x+ KMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
- n% l- l; }6 ?, S5 }an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
3 ?2 C: p4 @1 }: F, h4 N7 Rhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
1 X3 Z+ `7 r9 l0 q& E  K* j  ~, ^Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- P$ I* ?' x9 R3 S% _Must assume final, complete accountability for
: j- u/ Q# I2 F/ z4 Q3 g: Ythe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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% l( L1 O$ q% D  P* L! CPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
& d  y/ A: N) K" bNone.
; x* u5 y4 O" Y& xYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
, R& o9 I& g0 jupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


7 B' e2 ~+ }0 Q% xPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. _3 [6 ^2 }( g9 qNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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$ K3 C# t3 ]& P2 PWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
' d5 F& C. T4 S, Z, J+ ?; DGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
- H: U, b6 q6 Ta balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! \! l5 w8 j5 D2 B  g$ Q0 sof the assumption that college will help them
; Z! {" d, j0 a/ s5 }become financially independent.
' n' _7 {! v4 e7 Q3 u0 d% H* pWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
, b) Z2 \& |) j6 K; uThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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- p, O1 h) W* N' {, TBENEFITS:
# ?; R$ G5 r/ C0 G1 fWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
2 K: E3 d5 X1 h4 c% t1 lthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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  R7 k1 w* |+ [! T+ Z& j** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
- n. \: V0 E% l) X! _) `or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.