Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
0 D; W& z3 J1 l7 b' mMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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5 l3 u: t* r: B8 k5 D  mJOB DESCRIPTION:
' o4 K  h; F: ~% n6 a  aLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! {' f# R" K$ b/ p/ y5 W  ~4 B0 y5 BCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
6 o" w2 }. P, {. D$ A* ?variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
$ q+ a1 S9 H" r+ K) wSome overnight travel required, including trips to
+ U% s8 t, g; rprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
  ]- a/ v! V( N7 NExtensive courier duties also required.
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6 n+ j, H4 ^! Y6 f# M! j' BRESPONSIBILITIES:
  k! p. U3 e* u$ j* S' F7 @The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
  H, }% W) H0 `- P2 s" ?4 \& Buntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
/ r7 I- ?# d& q% c$ ?Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
9 q* r1 W! H! L" v' M5 S9 |8 oMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
, I( h0 ?6 r6 u# ^' H2 A1 Ccoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ X0 M" U' x2 V- m/ D( @% }Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
2 B; g9 ^7 s' C, O  u7 q; ^Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, o1 v; W& K$ f% B9 Z* k& [$ D- ahalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
$ m: m+ T. Z" H2 |Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
+ v, c. A6 s4 ]: A+ L# Q$ A1 a) ]$ }the quality of the end product.
5 Z4 c  S. o; l4 jResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
4 f( ^( P0 D6 u! j( _: CYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
+ x, _9 g, _% s/ \5 ~8 Kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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2 m& p5 g6 Q7 c) m, \7 ZPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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% @. C* V: I0 {' Z; A, h7 u  iWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
# J: O9 j0 H9 b9 B0 t* K9 u6 r6 q6 vGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
- `7 G+ G, V: y. ]$ t& `9 \% zWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
) K5 l) u3 D: B5 R$ p/ HThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
8 W4 C0 [5 k' }9 D7 v3 o! w2 z  k% h+ Iyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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$ D7 F* n+ E: h; g  |6 w3 N5 W* KBENEFITS:
7 \5 K. e: L+ ]6 j6 DWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
( I% A: D/ O" x8 |$ v7 q* [3 ]this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

# p, p" n/ X3 i+ Runconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.

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! i3 i5 {/ T2 w) e0 H# ~8 C** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
! B7 B- ~6 D& f+ G# L1 R8 nfor the fabulous job they do...
1 a6 Z/ a  W3 Vor forward with love
$ ]1 z" t3 p: p' ~2 ?to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.