 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma # D2 _& U; P7 ~
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa2 W2 w! A# Q8 a$ X, `* E
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JOB DESCRIPTION:5 N, j% [, f+ U' |+ C1 i
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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3 J$ x2 f. h5 c$ f- ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
0 q, r4 J o [* b8 n. i. pCandidates must possess excellent communication
* I! T0 j) z' V1 @$ Z6 O& rand organizational skills and be willing to work 8 m' N) a4 j6 ^6 `, K1 K
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 r8 z- \6 T6 w; `+ T" `8 jand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. - w. @- B& _7 @) S/ ^2 R& L1 b
Some overnight travel required, including trips to 4 c8 Q9 t, a# P$ h5 h
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and 5 y2 d2 L6 c H: A0 x+ \
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
$ f. t9 U4 m0 U$ Z( hTravel expenses not reimbursed. % m/ P0 Q2 d4 G n& R$ \- y
Extensive courier duties also required.
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, t% J& T2 y, Q( N6 U) `RESPONSIBILITIES:$ ^4 ?. K4 R- p4 o! Q" _5 r3 v
The rest of your life.
) }+ v, @+ G, ^$ |4 \Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
, O8 b+ W# j4 s5 Y/ q& ?& [9 Huntil someone needs $5.
$ m$ [# \& m7 {' E7 vMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ h. r0 _4 C; F, J2 Y, {: E bAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
0 h7 y. @( m8 e v8 g; P8 D) @0 ]and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat " v8 |+ p% K. M' A
in case, this time, the screams from 5 {, @8 G- T; r+ N
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. 7 r! X) j& V4 b5 b3 P- P
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 G% E1 A0 }; t; ^such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets 8 A) r. D, X! a: k
and stuck zippers.
! t& E, `. e1 wMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
" X d: c" D9 Z( Wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. , }: H0 a7 T) K2 ?, Y
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. ' ]5 K' ~1 G1 H
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. [: a3 n5 A6 c( X( j, M! K$ Q$ Qan embarrassment the next.
0 b U3 o! e0 L0 j! {. ^ lMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
( a; o0 @$ a u) e" r" _half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
5 @: w1 ?, U* ^, f1 DMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. Q- j7 l9 `& A9 k* D9 e% O9 @Must assume final, complete accountability for
4 K( h" e# C, ~+ _2 Othe quality of the end product. ; }/ x, P& m' I* x1 n
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and , x- y S3 \/ x1 T0 a
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:; l- ~! h" w9 Q; t/ @
None.
5 z0 N( B5 |8 V2 I8 TYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 ^7 w! y+ D; N# _! Mwithout complaining,constantly retraining and / H$ b% g- n# \+ H( w' V
updating your skills, so that those in your charge , M1 V- f6 G( _- Y% |. m! P8 h
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
) \( p+ ]( I9 U" N/ G+ ~' p; hNone required, unfortunately.
" w. |0 i; z# {5 ]. h" D% \On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: . _' x3 `# Q% j+ Y. w6 m3 D# x
Get this! You pay them! 9 v B y0 g. H: \
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. ; e1 f D: k/ q: x$ v: L- Y: J
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
1 Y, u* \) t1 g2 V9 {of the assumption that college will help them 8 J, X& f& \: @# P
become financially independent.
, a) h7 }* V9 a) C. WWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. * V% q* E% ~6 D/ }3 N+ D; W
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
& T$ I1 }7 A1 Jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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4 Q, r. m) `4 g% A8 S8 DBENEFITS: ! j* l; a6 _! j" [7 R5 R- u
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
6 s: W3 M+ w' z' Kno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
0 o1 j* C8 j3 xno stock options are offered,' ^; i7 X7 u8 I
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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) A& L, v7 R2 ~4 M4 U9 u5 iunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses / G* u! n( ~6 y$ U4 e0 W
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for life if you play your cards right.% F: ~+ c* X4 G' Y
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4 @2 R; i) ~5 G! [** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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9 [- z* i! ?# }+ f& @* _# VForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, v- u9 S; m/ k4 Z4 n3 Y: x
letting them know they are appreciated 2 X- ?& R/ c. U3 k, G( c2 T
for the fabulous job they do...
0 Y6 c& |; y1 w( oor forward with love
5 r0 N. ?7 W8 r Tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
