Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
6 p  p! W% b1 t7 kMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% j1 e8 N0 D# B. ^* s2 S) RDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


$ }$ r+ w3 q) E/ K4 U" vJOB DESCRIPTION:
% f! _9 m# O" mLong term, team players needed for challenging,

# w6 ]8 u, [% S3 B0 upermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* n& a% {  _6 ?2 g# }4 B, i& gCandidates must possess excellent communication
. S) Q2 j4 O! p) Z" D: Tand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! r/ i6 x4 c4 T4 D, NSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
# c& a& {* g2 h+ \. G0 ~2 zExtensive courier duties also required.

) _4 h! H7 I8 F/ _RESPONSIBILITIES:
# {0 @: @( E1 XThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* j  o6 _; Y7 p% huntil someone needs $5.
. |5 ^; b+ u3 x9 j: fMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
6 x! |. E2 z; H) ~$ k% WAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
: Z  `' j7 q! m. W2 k* ~and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
" I( P# {, d: }% }' [+ O( sthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
1 c' v& b+ T; g3 Z2 n& e2 O% c% Nand stuck zippers.
/ {& K" `' t1 `- G: wMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- ?4 s! O/ s/ Ocoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
2 P# _. u3 d& j" e7 F. RMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  I2 S) W2 S  i6 i# ban embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
: e% A3 e0 X& k& Z0 s' G4 `Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) R/ Q' O7 K: H' R+ U* Ijanitorial work  throughout the facility.
6 y) \7 X6 l- Y; j" o. @
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
$ U* q$ p! S# Z0 m/ MNone.
) U# D( S: }2 V# mYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
  v0 Q/ ?4 d4 z6 H% v6 G1 Uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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5 e4 w1 J7 @+ z6 I) m8 g: u+ }) H: l
( T+ n7 }6 ?1 B- [8 m0 GPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
& e4 z- Q$ J2 E# D. Q9 Y
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
( ?4 s, Z3 n, z% U% K& Ya balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
! B' t6 ~6 z- A9 [8 C: F  V( xof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
: R& n5 g) Q6 R# @/ gWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
" p1 E( v& z& T1 hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

. _& d% F: t' e: C! h9 G( n0 RBENEFITS:
: p0 h7 Q6 L2 ]1 a: \. s2 O7 j% jWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
- v; e5 U! i- g3 I9 Jthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
( p; s/ P% r( E" H& E2 t7 o# f
$ a9 Z" o5 ~  @- kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
, ^4 P. m  V6 i" V) X  b
* z# v2 E" x! n; nfor life if you play your cards right.

7 a7 J- f% M( ]2 O# {

6 H% Z" o( V+ v9 k& O
! a# |  }  ~; G( A0 t5 f6 d8 \** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
' j$ ?4 D. ~: u2 B' \, T/ ]# Z
( ~0 x2 j+ u) {; T& D* r+ o2 I

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
# W/ s7 T6 H0 x8 B! \2 }3 rletting them know they are appreciated
' Z2 \. g( O3 Z  |3 w0 tfor the fabulous job they do...
! s: {0 U+ _& p7 `2 ^or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.