Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
$ p3 s! W8 O5 ?0 b" kMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
. K- [; o6 v# l6 MLong term, team players needed for challenging,

2 E" g/ g+ V+ f& b( G$ D7 }% b# \9 npermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
. I5 p) E: X4 o' mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 a7 d+ @$ Q* D8 P9 \# rand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
- u* o! M+ X( @8 i8 u/ oendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

: F, g8 ?, H& e1 A0 GRESPONSIBILITIES:
- e" U7 w8 Y3 sThe rest of your life.
. p2 Y. B$ B5 [* m& q* Q( UMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
/ U" k: ~6 n$ e  c3 M$ B$ uuntil someone needs $5.
& b, z3 d4 w4 D+ C2 pMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
6 B6 a& T* y, }! N7 s5 {# P7 TAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
# l9 w7 |1 o; }) iin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
9 b2 ]; F- @. m; E9 c( v$ G4 UMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" V% g( c9 J1 h5 O3 Z: ^% H5 }such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ h6 `* H8 A6 ?and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
, Y5 |7 }3 [8 l2 a, {) HMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
9 @/ N0 ~: f2 i% Y' V/ [$ v2 _& wMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
0 f* w0 N& ^* Z. A/ Q4 JMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
* G3 W$ p( t% w7 Q* w9 f6 Whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
$ R5 L: n% K, j( {) w8 ^Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ E+ ~# m& }- {9 n+ PMust assume final, complete accountability for
1 f8 I( ^! J3 @$ tthe quality of the end product.
- k, f6 U. A2 z3 j( M3 zResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

" n2 x/ d/ c6 O+ F# |) TPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
( V$ U! t7 p+ IYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
6 E6 Q8 C7 Y. ?- E% lupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
/ D0 ^6 l  k  [can ultimately surpass you.
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: `, a3 A: _, T$ h- ~/ m) e9 q
4 l: t0 e7 G. B5 sPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
0 ^+ \2 X- |5 p$ ?2 e: f2 L) Da balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
1 p$ d/ h) N/ ?of the assumption that college will help them
' H# B: r: {' K/ a8 Jbecome financially independent.
8 u6 x0 [0 s4 ]8 BWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 O: H: @7 ~$ o. O# _# tyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
; W% T. G* ~8 {+ x; k( B# o4 z' u( Qno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
" y8 X7 \2 s9 Z5 @. E$ Zno stock options are offered,
  m, X7 M, y% [$ ^9 m1 F0 ithis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
1 X; L6 @. o  t) E6 Z
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
, }/ C2 n* F# N- M6 U( E
for life if you play your cards right.

* y( w, ]3 p* q9 F+ S' ^' k
8 f" L" y* n+ l* ?

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



% K9 t7 [9 `! E8 G5 }. A7 qForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
) y* z. W% ?" U% nletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
  c9 n" _, _3 Y4 H5 p' r2 S# oor forward with love
/ p- E2 H9 q- C; Tto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
& n5 r' P% e/ u% M+ M

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.