Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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! z! ^8 y& c8 r" P% C0 [" r2 Z2 x/ @JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ D# y/ J" j+ Z1 ^! Z+ l$ ?Candidates must possess excellent communication
) ~0 L1 y" B1 K7 [and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
, i# B' T4 s# N- Band frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
$ O. \5 L7 W& k7 {; DSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
( l) A9 I, w2 @' Q$ G% PTravel expenses not reimbursed.
  O5 _  L6 y" K9 K; K. r* NExtensive courier duties also required.

* x* o6 K7 k5 b0 Q; b7 u2 B0 }( _7 HRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
" ]7 K8 B+ }5 T. m& |- _, t) DMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
: F. k* K5 q1 L2 ~! l' ^. ~until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ W: ]6 k9 g- E- u4 z/ o- jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
! P8 E  T+ `+ \3 F  E0 C3 fin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
. ~) @) X' A0 Asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 j: D" G) a4 F0 J5 y: iand stuck zippers.
7 u8 w! a- S# n7 C! TMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 f3 Z+ V6 f! S) F9 [+ O' LMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% M$ j- H% |3 r$ E2 CMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
1 M8 `4 f, k! l) N, RMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 K9 I! P! W1 a! R+ [half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) q% B% ^9 Z8 l: [8 Q" A& _3 xMust assume final, complete accountability for
  k9 i3 U0 j" [" Y& F) uthe quality of the end product.
% B- B- r& |6 C/ z4 f; aResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 B0 N% {( G& [6 p1 R6 Ijanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
4 S3 ?! \) _5 n6 `& I+ SYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
8 `5 |( w; k3 Y* Tcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ c% U8 K+ z9 H. {. |; a* XNone required, unfortunately.
5 F" l; m$ C9 Q3 YOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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  D) }! z8 Q/ g( t% S7 ~WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ l4 J+ `6 Z9 iGet this! You pay them!
4 G' T; {& v2 cOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
9 h) i) C. H3 i1 Y$ P" o. a2 Ka balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
. X' ]/ K  t. a# h2 nThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

3 p: f; x( v# e9 o+ g9 F0 E/ @BENEFITS:
$ Z7 N/ g4 _# b6 s+ oWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
$ {" a% ?! H8 ]# O7 G5 H9 h: Z* Pthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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. w! _& |: X8 S5 X& v' D/ bunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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4 B* A) \6 X6 Y& z& w** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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5 M. N, x) B. O4 f- v+ ]
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.