Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
$ |3 ~  J/ N/ L5 ]6 F9 C

JOB DESCRIPTION:
( H$ W/ q9 `0 S' d- h8 ]) y2 p/ [. DLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 V) G1 w% Q9 vCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- m/ ~) E+ S, p3 {/ hSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
4 o1 O& k. L+ R8 U8 x4 jExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
- e& O8 Z# v6 h# L/ cThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
# _' t9 H7 x3 c3 Y4 d0 nuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
7 B: w& Q, i3 Z7 l, J1 Xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" s) Q" a9 K7 Hin case, this time, the screams from
5 j4 J8 c- `! Z5 x$ tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 l' M# q0 A8 R  T- xMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
) Q0 P  X: s4 v( c7 x; f* z+ P0 q" }coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
& [# D8 X. O" ?3 e6 ^. }- PMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 ^/ x- E5 G& _5 v5 k( ZMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
! X0 l+ b1 l0 V. ?3 U7 Van embarrassment the next.
  u& k- b' h: ~Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
" c4 Y( p0 C: Zhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! y2 T/ s0 u+ M" l8 X. t6 K* a8 jMust assume final, complete accountability for
5 @5 p- p# U2 t" p* P( V" G8 _3 Othe quality of the end product.
  y9 e% v; h+ M/ l. X( tResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 z' i5 z( u! N- o, l; W0 O: \janitorial work  throughout the facility.
! {% V$ O0 e" e3 O/ }
/ G6 o7 m- Z3 s3 bPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
$ |* o: ]% b! ^4 l& y5 k. d: @6 rYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
7 g5 H# _* N$ A& v$ Owithout complaining,constantly retraining and
7 s# W  x1 N7 ^+ N8 {5 z' Pupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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- W. B- u5 C* t3 B. y0 c
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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' L# l9 g6 p3 m+ `7 ^2 X3 [- ^WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, J, d" W6 |0 H8 g& j( u) yGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
) `/ o2 J5 V! o! H$ @a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
: U0 K# r* ^* ^2 X; tof the assumption that college will help them
) z) e9 n$ g( ^* e& Z# bbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
. }* x2 A* t% H* cThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
$ J# }" `& Q) E2 A6 B$ B' z
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 b& I$ a; s- e& @. s. mno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 [2 Q0 U- x  R: ^no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
0 G& I) f# P! @2 B. t; l
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
! ]  A5 K3 e, O+ P
for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 R5 z9 J4 I2 F' aletting them know they are appreciated
5 n. n: G: s+ v. O* H5 g5 `! afor the fabulous job they do...
2 ]) Y9 H5 x8 m- _0 u8 `! Oor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.