Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
& S' `& t2 z, f' G4 N; `8 dMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* n" ?: D! n8 d, _1 EDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
$ u9 q* V# Z- X) {1 s" [; [8 ~
: f! u5 }, s% B) r) y
3 _! ]- y" _3 b2 e2 KJOB DESCRIPTION:
; L4 K& c" ~) g: {" L) E& ]+ p" ^Long term, team players needed for challenging,
- h& u6 T8 M: K) R/ Y% Z$ R0 r
+ N1 w0 U/ N' B" m( d  J- upermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
7 g) [: H% x) ZCandidates must possess excellent communication
: D0 @9 j) M# |and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
" s6 ]9 c& [/ w; w; Yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
' [- @1 N5 B; R) J( F# q) BExtensive courier duties also required.
: J8 r5 _4 Y' E8 c. q+ {
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
; {. y1 Z" q% F3 s) z$ K9 O9 nMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 j5 ^, d# j. p" Cuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
0 D7 N9 Q6 y6 H2 w5 N, Fand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
7 ~2 p$ w3 Y: s/ \  ]( x0 kin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
* y" _1 f- K2 W, b, R% Usuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 q9 q& P7 K4 @3 C, Pand stuck zippers.
9 I+ Q# J" [( ?" bMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 Y" N" M- d: {half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
$ q) s& n& W  o: W1 MMust assume final, complete accountability for
( k7 o+ |! K3 J6 qthe quality of the end product.
" X% m% O, z# r& vResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

, [& r: i, |! E% o* l7 a0 NPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
+ a2 A: R6 J% t' P5 ~9 |9 cYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
$ O5 r" V, C* s$ p: |7 q1 d+ owithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
8 P/ Z6 m) b5 l4 ^can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
# {) F  c$ ?' e* E9 Z( T7 J  X) eNone required, unfortunately.
5 S- L' I7 y2 @; DOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
4 Q( ?0 L+ t% H* M* K6 ^
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
' u: i) K$ K: Y7 @% p, A6 YOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
$ `, I! d& y% Y% _  v3 ma balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
2 t8 ]4 Y. ?: v( N7 _( k: L; ebecome financially independent.
! o; D9 n$ R6 \$ t/ gWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
$ z8 B; |$ i& hThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
' L$ y7 d2 O5 Y, B4 cyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
2 Z0 P* c4 s( r9 C" U
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
& ]4 G! n; M% K& l# Tno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( L4 H  K8 H# h1 k9 ]; l$ dno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
$ n4 S# \" m, @1 z
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
0 q& a6 w) u- r$ m" n+ `5 A0 |4 b
for life if you play your cards right.
. y3 F+ N* B  ^2 p

. V/ Z' {8 q4 M1 q+ E; ]
' ^! E( r: t! r% x
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
0 q% Y5 Q- N: y7 j% h5 ]# b9 n1 k
8 P5 h; g8 `, W! V# r0 i

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
9 Z( f5 X' r7 b! W; s5 C$ s( `letting them know they are appreciated
! o* l% |- w0 ^9 y; }/ cfor the fabulous job they do...
- H# C* B( G% }  f- |  Mor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
1 h$ Y+ ^1 G7 L- {: H
7 r; }2 o: Y; _+ {' O% s$ J2 C

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.