Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
& y/ g9 J: r% j; r  C' ADad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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3 r$ E+ ]" [; |7 ?3 e3 i& K: t6 QJOB DESCRIPTION:
" j, K: S- q  F* t3 C% T1 aLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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5 |! l2 G# P/ U9 t3 dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
8 R6 ?4 `1 {8 @9 P: e+ yCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
5 }2 O7 V: s4 mand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' O/ I8 h* B" bSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
: Q; @4 K0 L+ e- Q1 ]Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

" w! n! Z4 x' ZRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
( }) W! l! e: Z: N3 `1 L' U6 ^until someone needs $5.
0 W4 w$ N$ U  |' UMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, O! t! U" H. ^1 V' _: y1 Nand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" V, G; |% K; a+ V7 `. l. Iin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
2 `" e5 v; a- A, uMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 L' W/ G# G! @# rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ P' k0 O. m' X: B) jMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* T' E; f/ r! v6 FMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
: a: {* R5 L" ~  A7 K& xan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
) M0 D; r5 {& p/ g) |half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
. \' x! B+ k" P# p# }+ Z7 uMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
- \# s0 a$ Q  v+ c0 ?Must assume final, complete accountability for
3 q" z2 m9 p1 a9 Mthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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9 m% \- o) B- V5 U" B- O% T, |POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
/ t" |0 m4 k( w& bNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
# N5 L  N8 I  G. qwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
) }0 y' ^0 ]( z0 BOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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' _# R5 ?: n! ?1 HWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
/ E. r9 Z4 ^% }& {+ w5 f; i& AOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
1 }3 X8 ]9 Y+ f0 Y, Z/ Q5 m5 r# n, va balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
4 \. a# r1 U  y+ Z- |+ ^you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

4 \/ e) b' n) A' z& D+ v  o2 SBENEFITS:
, y0 X6 l$ o& eWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

* Z* x6 b- V/ K2 `unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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+ o8 @. z/ y, r5 e** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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' E: p2 p0 [$ m; K6 X0 R1 RForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
$ D6 M  i+ u( A. Gfor the fabulous job they do...
3 A. S2 P2 [1 p/ H0 y4 E6 Mor forward with love
' D  P2 E" Q' H4 gto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.