Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

! f! P+ T$ e6 c9 s% ~permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
- `  q7 {2 }: I5 W& x% [- P1 Vand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' N; K( L' ?; L& T1 X1 Oand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
- i6 o5 `  Y# U. H& dprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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( P- N* n8 M$ `RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ a5 K" Q" \9 e. SAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
9 ~, K# ]" `* ]. w) C- z7 s0 @and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
  A, R$ o# s) O+ h% nin case, this time, the screams from
! k0 d4 f( @( d5 i" ?# athe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 d( |: h1 o; Tand stuck zippers.
/ g8 ^; w2 p# i/ x  B5 HMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 N$ t% R7 k2 f% i. E" Q- Hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
1 S# O9 Y- `  ]1 C0 I, U+ rMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
( s( k% v5 c0 ?7 }7 j9 Pan embarrassment the next.
( U6 C  ~. D+ z3 m; I3 m' CMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
8 |4 f; v! \8 V+ W$ V/ _the quality of the end product.
2 ?" X; h& e( N6 }2 [* Z: lResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" X+ x0 |  }0 h/ _% o# ?* Qjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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0 D0 D5 G, X/ W" w! E/ Q0 }POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( Y6 J" K4 M& b5 g( ^None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
8 B+ I0 {) o: W; B8 u6 Cwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
" w9 p1 A; U$ l& uupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ g4 r# E. B4 C  Z4 u1 `7 wcan ultimately surpass you.
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& p  a/ E; T+ ~7 ~PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( G+ D" [8 m& x1 t- J0 ?None required, unfortunately.
; E! g- W, {; m( X" `On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
  Q5 j) q; h. }* D+ {a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 D! v2 Q- V' f$ K1 l1 x) {) Bof the assumption that college will help them
/ R, E$ Q0 X/ u3 `7 j# sbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
7 [" F8 y* j7 e& i  Nno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# A3 H* z; V0 ?0 zno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

$ d8 Z3 n, U" W, W( _unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

' {8 C6 d5 u7 |- hfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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1 A# t. L; R8 q% B% m, @
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
+ c" [/ g( m) m  g. E( P, Qletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
( y8 x1 _" D. Kor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.