 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma $ n* E. W) w0 D( P
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa& l2 c$ K. Q; V
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JOB DESCRIPTION:7 ?! m9 u$ `4 P! u2 X! T- S
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. $ X. h4 Z& ~& g7 T
Candidates must possess excellent communication 5 C9 Y4 S) ^6 ^, P
and organizational skills and be willing to work
. c/ s- j8 F9 V" P% Qvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 9 i8 i- a9 `+ y0 C" O. i* v( H
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
3 s+ P5 U. b( J/ s. f; B7 fSome overnight travel required, including trips to
X1 w6 ~, K6 {. B* N: t8 [( mprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and % r1 K8 o" o+ m" F- T5 ]
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
|$ i# |5 `2 x: K7 H6 I6 r# ETravel expenses not reimbursed. ' a- L6 E7 w% z4 k9 E
Extensive courier duties also required. ) P3 \+ G, t8 ~% l
+ \% C2 H1 L1 i! ~ NRESPONSIBILITIES:9 ^& m! `$ l" ?
The rest of your life.
, W- e: M5 O1 ]" g% N. b' R) fMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ' g6 h; N: _3 H+ n% g
until someone needs $5. 5 H) l! p* D. U$ ~! g, a5 Y' z$ P
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. $ b0 x+ O# P0 d! [% e
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule & n/ K6 m$ M$ @: m/ h; _$ V
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat ! _2 P& S$ z3 Y% v/ C! o
in case, this time, the screams from
, W' q F( G9 S2 Y X5 G- X$ ?/ Uthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
$ f- i0 u& p% V5 Y2 X/ o) ZMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' [# G$ o; q) }' \( J* xsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
; M6 h) s/ }% ^( t" p1 @and stuck zippers.
/ h: y/ Q; X4 A3 C6 vMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and * Z9 X" s/ }: N; \& G
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 6 `) J8 [2 g# n/ x) }0 k
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
: c+ n$ a/ `7 ?Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
0 _* ]$ m6 D3 B2 B- Jan embarrassment the next. 6 L8 o) D: a: u
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
: J( U2 N4 A7 a& E3 I. `half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 0 m% t( i/ O/ w) P. ?( C
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 `+ H: B; l2 k- Y; H6 a) O/ F+ iMust assume final, complete accountability for ; c/ F9 O& R: r- {
the quality of the end product.
* @8 R6 U1 P1 m* R& NResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and % a$ x2 L, i( N' T+ G
janitorial work throughout the facility. ) {/ ~, x" V7 L! q: B
& p+ L, A( X, G* h2 |POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
/ m3 G2 ]: Y3 J. e7 T' fNone.
4 R; o r0 c7 r' yYour job is to remain in the same position for years, ' X9 n+ o( G u/ Z8 S2 g: C
without complaining,constantly retraining and 6 i# q0 z5 E$ p% i& u
updating your skills, so that those in your charge 6 R( x) O# V, [
can ultimately surpass you.& Q0 p8 T9 Q# X; ~$ m5 c/ U
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% f, `# D3 O0 `+ _% ?5 A4 iPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: 8 [2 g+ i0 r* a- p- t- V1 h
None required, unfortunately. 1 g/ W" z% q( l M8 R- F
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. ( T& h* I2 ^) b5 j( H$ M
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 b; ?% | k& B4 zGet this! You pay them! 2 s9 a3 A4 s3 j2 o2 P, r% C# j5 r
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. ; p1 t9 q. T4 O3 v2 N
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 6 `5 j3 d# v: C0 e7 S8 \
of the assumption that college will help them 0 q& f4 \# Q& f% [0 s" i4 m- E M
become financially independent. 1 O4 C. _# E7 R8 m7 f D8 O
When you die, you give them whatever is left. 2 c, [' a/ M+ f. K# v
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that : U; J' v1 J1 h2 J+ B
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. ) I+ q5 u' P+ s8 W. p2 k+ H
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BENEFITS:
& y( r: T2 l8 ?' XWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 c9 n! `. {- D9 |9 _6 bno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 9 ^# n8 L% ^% z& B
no stock options are offered,
& c1 R& A( u1 Qthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, - b/ N$ l+ a5 G# N- F3 E% S9 b+ ^6 c
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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) V- y! d; V( rfor life if you play your cards right.& \6 y$ {* k, C( U9 K1 @
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) J* H3 \! \3 u7 x** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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: l/ ?4 Y1 m( F+ s% q i ^Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, J3 ^; G% u' M7 K0 i. Jletting them know they are appreciated
# V. D# r9 m3 n: Nfor the fabulous job they do... : R6 \; }+ O% E( W* d3 w
or forward with love
% L6 r& m0 {' s w7 t. o3 h, X( Lto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
