Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
& \- |1 p9 H4 ?9 z5 J3 GDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
- I( Y  W; ~6 M! I& s) |Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
5 W, y9 v- v& o+ t4 t0 ?6 n% FCandidates must possess excellent communication
9 V( s/ J3 x: o/ }% I" Yand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
2 Y" @1 A2 g: S. j- B$ b4 Lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
( p3 ~- ?+ ~. p# a2 m: M* v8 ?Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
4 U$ o$ h2 j: J' _* }! S5 ~The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% ^4 @" H: x; d! g9 F* huntil someone needs $5.
9 k# ]' W' H0 [0 DMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% [/ `# o1 ?' U5 H' |: Yin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! T& a6 H+ }  G" o' a! u5 gand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
( u9 S2 ~" S% J' I- Dcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  _5 ~. d6 `+ T5 x0 U( e; Van embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
3 h. l7 F  ?  s2 mhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) n+ Q3 K$ h- i7 _' TMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
% x7 Y' X! m  S! b% h" R" UResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 i4 [: x7 i1 U: ~, v2 U1 sNone.
% \3 E( f- E! b$ n) F! K! XYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
' ~& L1 X" o  Vwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
/ ?9 x0 `2 Z8 m! w' Y1 T: jupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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. S2 X6 ^) c) a/ X3 {: l6 G" IPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
) M+ H7 _5 S' d. t- W" iNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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  M3 m8 o6 |& x+ ]5 }8 S2 R2 tWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
! }7 `5 L# S" }# b" ?9 JOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
2 w! {8 U2 s0 g1 f* P" a/ D9 i( Ma balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
% ?1 n7 H1 A" o+ AWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
9 t1 h2 ~7 G7 L# @& p: ~% _: UWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
. f; H1 _( o& y' O* K2 v) Zno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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: c- P. Y* N. U  w  G5 v7 j# Kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

, l, K2 t  Y) X4 g: N' R; Yfor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
) G& X  {+ }( x+ W/ K: L7 \to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.