 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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7 B+ ~1 U. z& zMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
9 j. n$ }2 }" a9 VDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa7 \. R7 `/ _+ t
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" A4 Y* P% ], u) `) i% j- [- lJOB DESCRIPTION:/ P& r+ i0 Q! B. o) v1 M; V* o
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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/ p( \& E& z; H2 t* U- i) ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment. & I9 u; y: ^: d
Candidates must possess excellent communication
) ^- C3 t& ^/ y) [5 r% Q! yand organizational skills and be willing to work
) c; D T( m& Bvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
9 P1 o' I4 Q# D x4 Y+ I4 o# p8 `and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& w7 C" W5 v3 U/ D( d- ySome overnight travel required, including trips to 2 v) o3 J( a1 n7 `
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and & n9 L) _% i: ` | Z" N
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
( N: q4 y/ C6 T% s M UTravel expenses not reimbursed. : _& U& ^% ~, r' H0 G
Extensive courier duties also required. 0 l0 \8 T8 d' V. b) B+ k$ S) z
6 o% K9 ^, U! j: k4 i- KRESPONSIBILITIES:
: j3 F# g* |+ ]$ DThe rest of your life. 8 t; z! c6 b/ P4 @6 H( y
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
, d7 |7 i F2 M& g6 @0 C$ |) Quntil someone needs $5.
! q, f& p7 o$ t, p iMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
9 {: `1 @" D% w8 M8 q" `* s: ZAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule , h. U. B0 U+ z* W v" ^& O
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
7 @7 e* L( s' r) D/ D# ^; \0 ]in case, this time, the screams from * A7 W8 m6 Y! O2 S. m
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ) g1 P' j. I- r# ]3 S
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, ; _% E; t5 P' Z8 ~% a# P2 N( F0 j
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
# F# ?& v( |9 r6 r, r( b7 }$ z1 Land stuck zippers.
3 w9 k7 k5 r. P" RMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and 0 ~3 Z/ N+ A6 d6 o, G/ p/ P
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. / I7 t# e# q" w- V' }, [
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
- R! {0 p9 u% {/ LMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, _6 m6 V D; b
an embarrassment the next. . S: s- w* v9 Y& ?9 H2 W7 Q) [( F
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 1 A0 V! W. j% p% Z# D. S" G
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ! t p4 B2 W0 G% N
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. 1 a! O( Q, H8 [7 A1 W
Must assume final, complete accountability for
( X. e( i. v! p0 A6 Zthe quality of the end product.
7 G6 x$ I, c. }Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and [" i% y( U" N2 \
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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& O* d5 a$ X/ ^# a! j/ h4 gPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:. a4 s7 a4 A9 {, o7 B& J
None. 2 i0 R7 J& T' f% z' Y
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, , q4 t/ h' w) Y1 G: |
without complaining,constantly retraining and - h2 u3 ^7 S. Q8 g4 s" }; r3 B
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
& \2 P. N P+ s' C a( W/ acan ultimately surpass you.2 w1 |- f- R* u9 S3 Y" @9 F
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" L0 m: H1 G! ~$ K3 D; p7 nPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: ! v# [1 ~4 k" o
None required, unfortunately.
& k! n& @; X: L/ O G! G8 `/ C7 G( @/ ?On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: # a2 e( y' b# U. |7 t2 j
Get this! You pay them! 4 d6 x% |* q- b' Z
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. , h1 o, i: k' `3 u* Y5 K
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& u% i+ i9 Z- Oof the assumption that college will help them & y" |3 X$ f. E* y
become financially independent. 5 Z6 Y6 V2 n$ W
When you die, you give them whatever is left. V0 r/ l+ `" v0 K6 t1 Z
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 1 I4 v/ v8 F( P4 w) m
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 2 s( C; L( T- h; k) ~1 A
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BENEFITS:
! C) X- H# e+ p# p8 Q& cWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
6 @* A/ C; k% D2 O' v& \no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
, v I8 B' N- o3 Uno stock options are offered,& `2 v3 M. Z2 N) d) l6 v- r
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, ( u5 y2 x [1 X: K' }3 i
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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) ~- D# s% A2 rfor life if you play your cards right.
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" u& r* [. b. E) ~** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **7 O5 i! j7 d I# e& @* @( P6 i5 A
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 4 ?! I* e2 ^# m
letting them know they are appreciated
, E% ~. P" R9 }3 Qfor the fabulous job they do... ! X, T6 I8 L7 P: V# D% O: f
or forward with love 5 ~4 j' H- v3 N. {7 \
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
