Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
3 e- T- e! h4 uMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


8 D- c% w3 ^8 i8 e1 |$ ?JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
8 H9 H0 J4 h1 A9 ]' ]% CCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
* m. E  M' g5 _variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: i8 }' S, F0 P+ g9 ]and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
! q3 z8 Y1 n6 N2 K; i. g( p: O0 `endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
( F# }- M' Z% t7 X0 s; m# [Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
3 B6 l/ v$ E8 ^" y+ \
6 D( w+ U  Z/ L8 E; p! K* J( iRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
# `7 C4 h+ `# tMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
$ d; K7 @( E4 d4 \, |3 LMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. B/ S: ^2 I* V$ A; C! t! Cand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 X0 }" B' f( q. X7 Q4 Cand stuck zippers.
$ R2 j$ S/ J/ W6 d! R$ VMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
5 V6 {) _/ {  R& k) j2 N1 J! lcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
) i: |5 \$ ?5 ^) e  M! @' R. y0 {6 Y- NMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
% o% H% G% w$ H  a! L( ]4 {8 V9 NMust assume final, complete accountability for
5 ^8 o; O+ Q- Z' R; v% T1 Tthe quality of the end product.
* P6 }7 e! Y1 ?5 {' c* p+ ?Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" P) Y. Y' I$ J0 k+ k6 D& j& L6 Ijanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
9 O7 `  @# I& L* ^5 N( FNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 d. Y- K0 _' y: s/ lwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
9 P7 w3 r/ e1 Dcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
2 s. s( |- W$ k" A5 I6 r( M
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
# l, a# J. g( H- fGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
% `6 c- a9 }' l0 s( N: @8 qa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) J9 B9 S3 |' ]7 K; P8 }9 o( O! }of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
, k. a4 B4 z, ~" G3 ^( b. HThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
' f% b) f# A. @# F" S) pWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
$ ], h7 Y6 ?1 m* T  v4 othis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
+ K4 m0 |; Y- @
" i$ v: Q5 q' Kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

: a- x$ q( N# [" B1 Gfor life if you play your cards right.

/ c1 f3 q  T) \/ L3 Y2 h
2 x' E3 f7 r+ R1 D+ A( p6 q
" P2 Q9 N4 B% B7 t2 ]1 o# Q
( P  ~, ?0 J4 h. Y7 w** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
" `; n' E; O" i: ?5 h( b8 D
, J/ T" K& n3 X4 p8 T  g; y

- \2 C0 u2 a/ e' zForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
& `* e/ _8 S7 e3 G, R* J) ?7 f9 Bletting them know they are appreciated
+ [$ d5 Y9 x* ^for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
- U: a! G7 H$ i/ n9 ?# f

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.