Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
: [3 Y6 Z6 z$ o" q% _" j! u' v8 v4 ACandidates must possess excellent communication
) t* _, d9 x  t* ^and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' M% X/ m4 [. ^' R) XSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 i1 W6 b; _! c; W8 G- Lendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
. _! c. g, ]# A) o) X) oExtensive courier duties also required.
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$ B( W. ^' K, c3 N8 u( ?- URESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
9 M- k: y0 c( t6 \& ?4 QMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; n6 x+ a+ s4 W' Z2 Y& _in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# y5 D' o% |% g- z' Isuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
  ^. G/ ?* T  f" {9 a3 _& g- _and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
. d/ p, c/ L2 A# O- @* f% Ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( j) c9 M; n, }" E& g  Y; pMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
! S. u6 Z, R4 O: a% a' m: zMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
  o, R5 Y. k1 Uthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
4 P9 y+ z/ _& G& jwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
. z) h/ y( E3 Rupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
5 W" C! _; t4 o' l9 M+ |6 Ycan ultimately surpass you.
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6 _* F- n4 J- g7 V. c) p# [PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
0 Z$ b: [( [! I8 mNone required, unfortunately.
+ i% Q7 p& w: v, \7 B$ pOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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. C6 j" q6 X6 X$ \WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 l2 t/ z8 I4 kGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
* w4 L$ `6 W3 a/ n0 C% ]/ Ia balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
+ [& q2 F4 P8 F5 s# V2 s( c: ]When you die, you give them whatever is left.
8 {# p. t( T( ?; fThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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8 }2 D! i" R+ J. IBENEFITS:
: R) }$ t4 G, r- B. P$ YWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
! n: x; ?/ G; f$ j% x, Vno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
! F: C) v# ^; ], ~& lthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
) ]! R. V! }% N! e
5 f0 K4 k/ s# T8 @unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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$ T4 p/ v9 @2 n5 FForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, u% R. o3 U" j- M2 p. f( Q- aletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
8 F' R: D$ H& d7 ?& r0 \, Z2 y% o( Ror forward with love
/ ]* x. d2 ~( W3 ^) n! eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.