Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
  b. U8 u% T1 ~) P  ~Long term, team players needed for challenging,

' D/ _; U1 q% z# h3 Q: m5 v( tpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
4 I" h  w$ B" q, land organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
6 }! ]. e2 S; C0 b+ tand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; N. i) o- ~4 qSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
) z0 L1 d8 W9 `$ E9 CThe rest of your life.
! L( X: e" k* u0 BMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ m; V3 c1 C7 I. g% d+ T4 z) mAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 B$ J+ T+ w! W! a: \% jand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
/ t! E* r: D0 }  |8 v% Z; cin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 o5 E8 T+ K* [7 v& [" I2 vMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
- Y( S6 o. r3 C, K' ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
) h7 O( m: K/ r% b% _( XMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
0 j8 s" \2 ^9 A7 G# Y7 [$ N, b0 O. EMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' `1 x. ?+ a7 b: V! |* a8 Ean embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
8 ~& [& D9 s) F3 R& D. Hthe quality of the end product.
1 o& M! T- M; lResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 Y% U6 T4 }, X/ Djanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
% w  m. \* u) u, `7 |/ d4 SNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
6 C! }; Z& O# ~$ Q' @  h' Y+ ocan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
* |! j2 ?2 {: I( I1 fNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
) J, U6 j: o& ]$ K8 M9 O  R7 N  w" HGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
4 `% J+ m5 j4 V9 L6 K" Fa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
% n/ z2 g. K1 S: Rbecome financially independent.
9 c% X" Y' x* b1 F7 O8 nWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; E6 X' a- z7 W& ~: Q( `you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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0 ]$ c9 L4 H( i# _' j3 w! NBENEFITS:
0 o; H  n0 t% ]% yWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
1 P* \3 r7 h  d7 ^6 S. e5 Ano tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

% N8 M* s8 G! V& D9 _  q# ]for life if you play your cards right.
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$ V$ t/ A5 V9 g, f3 h+ X** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
, w& v* q9 I3 d% dfor the fabulous job they do...
- T. G* W9 O9 ^8 v: P9 @6 _1 v% Yor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.