Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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/ x* p2 \' M3 M2 l  qpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
% C7 D  q) k1 ?( {; KCandidates must possess excellent communication
; ?4 o* }7 r# [& ?and organizational skills and be willing to work
0 v! N* Q( X4 B* I/ g5 U5 \. B: \variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
  t9 i3 ^  e, ?0 s, Fprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
& s$ j' G+ v% P5 ^5 rTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 O! w9 j0 h1 F3 L2 U' U8 ?until someone needs $5.
/ R# S  \% ?2 J, t* A: tMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
7 T' c, o: g$ U& B  p9 l$ q; n; Kin case, this time, the screams from
! @3 B2 z- @* e/ b1 i8 K0 K8 Athe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
% O& M9 T7 o8 DMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 _$ F- x2 D/ G; t& j: Fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
6 I1 [0 Y( c( RMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 ^# t6 u2 x2 c/ jcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
4 [. f2 z  s' x4 y- K2 V6 }Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
2 y. Q3 L" L3 Q: r; o0 y2 Can embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 Z* w, ~' E& c( q( }: BMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 W- C& Z. J3 }" CMust assume final, complete accountability for
) M( L4 ?+ F1 W! u8 w" c& P. l/ Fthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, \& t" s& B, P6 u& C% C. T. S3 _janitorial work  throughout the facility.

- N* j) i- Q! I6 r+ {4 n$ uPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
) Q" u0 x# Y, y$ E- g# ?None.
2 c2 E- P( X' R2 N" HYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
% ^& ?0 `4 V0 c4 B* Ewithout complaining,constantly retraining and
8 N9 c; x! l7 vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ u7 P: p! {6 |+ @5 m5 H- s! Y) a6 Pcan ultimately surpass you.
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3 U) ~3 L" H$ a8 X9 ~PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
# j4 v- ?+ d) V& s# ]None required, unfortunately.
5 a* [% `' w3 t! D* [On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
8 k. S3 f. D: n- Y
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ b% b# {( J" ?7 {) |( p9 \- |Get this! You pay them!
) B; r3 o8 H2 t3 q7 V% fOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
1 j2 I2 R$ E: p# `) e% @3 F4 Vbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ ^2 {+ d3 R  h5 Eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
. H6 B5 U. T' Dno stock options are offered,
, v1 ~8 d" J$ o8 l' h) c: Dthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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6 B' H" p- Z$ V) o& v" Jfor life if you play your cards right.
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7 t$ l* k: K! L5 f** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
2 i2 k  W* \. y1 C& o6 e$ Ufor the fabulous job they do...
5 d/ f/ C0 U2 @0 B, cor forward with love
. y( [3 L/ e! C. m% x9 ]& `, Oto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.