Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


6 ^5 k4 [$ V9 e6 H% w' eJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ F2 Y7 V6 m: L" k  I! WCandidates must possess excellent communication
0 W* K) f/ U  sand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) N/ `) \# t( h# [1 I6 R1 mand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- q+ E) G/ H. p5 D/ }& d, L1 BSome overnight travel required, including trips to
7 [3 b% {9 q* b' wprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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5 L9 {$ x' I$ B' W6 s- ~RESPONSIBILITIES:
; ^( }) Q. g' LThe rest of your life.
4 c6 j+ b$ R! IMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
8 Z" @* `# ^& Z  D! g( }Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& C) C$ H% R& B9 y: M0 SAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 I+ v4 }) y6 D0 Wand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
' m) O- s$ H3 P6 |* }the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  q6 Q7 P; m6 Asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
3 }5 k" f3 f$ ]$ H) f' @and stuck zippers.
  h( p9 @: D. {+ |- o8 @Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
: s6 n! N/ X# d7 Y7 lMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
5 J: ]& b0 E' y' H0 R" {6 g) \Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 L, c2 I3 C4 u3 O4 Vhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
4 H0 H1 Q& D9 Q& I( m" |Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
% [3 f8 A& d8 n0 w- j& m- \None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
/ |* E# C. R  H4 c3 @; ~without complaining,constantly retraining and
( \9 S$ Q$ |$ k. j# `# A- }/ t! ]updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


" E* O/ @9 l( CPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

+ i' b+ `5 ?& w% W. ?) {$ M$ aWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ f5 D, ?& V4 s+ fGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
; |" R) u3 @+ ?a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
6 J) s; U# K: A, ^) F2 [become financially independent.
1 f& V$ n$ G4 x3 w* vWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
( H3 u( Z- [# P, h5 q& RThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; \6 @  Y1 V4 U( R% J# _6 `$ U3 b* l# xyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ M" v$ o/ N7 \+ U* Wno stock options are offered,
* {# J# L! {+ q5 g+ i; |this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

2 h9 }' |% b  w; Cunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
& ^" E6 k: y% F4 O2 l; W+ {
  P" _7 P7 B( ]2 [for life if you play your cards right.

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7 y1 x" v: Y5 K* s

** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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0 R& Z/ H& Q! iForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
+ e  [  [/ |4 J0 D8 d4 J. b7 Pletting them know they are appreciated
* B' y3 O. e& h8 b" L4 `for the fabulous job they do...
: d) `2 I8 p5 G) O' Eor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.