 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma + _8 [: s6 a6 i' ]" N8 @
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa4 Q7 x' t, c8 ~1 b7 O, e7 F
0 Q9 B6 h. b% N- \9 n
; ], @- ]6 B4 N3 \/ ?4 Y6 VJOB DESCRIPTION:2 N0 ?" q; p1 ^% ]$ p9 N0 N
Long term, team players needed for challenging,2 y- O3 _" x- o" R, t5 M
4 C ]9 T* a; h% y5 L% ~1 m
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 M8 ^5 B* U. `3 S6 O3 z4 GCandidates must possess excellent communication
8 ^2 w. q: w4 _: r" band organizational skills and be willing to work
! l9 e; t; t ~% r0 p# @+ N- Qvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
2 F; U5 D* H5 h- y& Land frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
' W' Z# t4 y+ Q+ }/ S, k3 [+ jSome overnight travel required, including trips to & M# l8 |$ C+ V) ~
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
! k: z2 Q+ V* B6 v/ W7 wendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
3 A5 q5 L; _; ?4 p8 `4 @% YTravel expenses not reimbursed. * h; a' M Z1 ~8 p+ m+ a% r, t
Extensive courier duties also required. 2 E" Y- Y5 X: h; X/ W2 o1 s8 U# y% U
+ S& `) m% F. e; ^2 L3 sRESPONSIBILITIES:
1 p' x# {5 X4 P6 q& D& \The rest of your life.
7 g9 Q. }$ G- ]2 fMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, - q I' O( f, i# F) ~4 c
until someone needs $5. # c& C" u7 B$ r# l; J% `
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
6 y0 r/ z9 E) x" W5 W7 j! XAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule 9 T' K5 I2 ]% N* z) o& l. T7 z3 w
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
5 {+ m% ?% L- \7 A5 pin case, this time, the screams from
, F& u4 u% H5 ?4 n6 Vthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. % H6 t% x! F4 A% C& X+ v, _7 _4 V
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 4 q+ W' R/ j3 p. p+ d) `1 A# c% m* h
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets & q' i+ H7 V( H
and stuck zippers. 1 I* V- N* n' F7 d# c0 D0 Y
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- ]$ R+ I' t( b# ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 @9 y3 {* \$ s" y/ FMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
1 \& }/ z/ r o* z1 V/ e# ?Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. s4 p; U, V6 can embarrassment the next. , |3 T7 V9 K2 P
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- T# u" i- \9 L6 S5 Vhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. + X J" k( {8 v9 ~
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ! i% q- l$ ?$ }+ C' D
Must assume final, complete accountability for
' ^3 i1 g. x8 g0 [9 J- D! Nthe quality of the end product.
2 R/ N, H- A0 R, DResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" {6 U. T7 \! I: {# njanitorial work throughout the facility. 6 c F" I- Y( k' E* n* [
- L% V: q# \5 |% R0 GPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:! T; [5 W7 w z2 x
None.
$ S. y4 _1 j) R( l7 WYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
7 \, g* b+ ~. O+ S) jwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
6 |/ F" w, K8 c# Supdating your skills, so that those in your charge 2 a% F- Y/ p3 j& }/ S4 R
can ultimately surpass you.
6 G$ e" B$ a$ c( B
" p+ A1 [' p5 {+ n: Z+ ^/ U! N
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: / G$ g$ e. z, i( B# }9 A) e
None required, unfortunately.
, S3 ~3 |' T9 v$ `, ^# {2 n& zOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. , U. l" n2 p% C; C, }' J2 W4 T. ~
9 H5 g; w" X" y; ~& j% [* ~
WAGES AND COMPENSATION: + G1 C# W2 A+ I9 E: F/ i1 C
Get this! You pay them!
7 t+ u' Q: q0 @2 u" xOffering frequent raises and bonuses. T) N2 {9 B5 M* \" q! M
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 9 n4 \0 |% x I1 L. L% ~
of the assumption that college will help them w9 B) q% B# C0 i7 M5 u2 {
become financially independent.
& T1 G) o9 o% b6 o: P1 nWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. & z6 p3 C5 V0 {) j
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ! v4 i! b# ~. F7 P8 V% B
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
Y" n! J0 T! _% U, Z+ I' Q1 w5 Z
' X* w5 \9 F0 }9 ]% O& Z) K& {8 CBENEFITS:
/ J+ C9 {8 H5 g, N, y/ _$ `5 O$ VWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, " z/ a# [ R" s, e0 H D8 u1 L
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# r5 K, G0 w' {, Pno stock options are offered,7 F/ T0 ^0 i3 d! g+ b( P# o% {
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
& p1 I4 |$ M1 H- Y! Z( a) G, N
2 w# E% M0 V! }+ l8 x. \0 uunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses & a* X' d5 r; S/ l% ^/ a4 Y
$ v$ g2 C: R! n6 ~ t7 c4 m; G
for life if you play your cards right.
% O1 z* e+ ~9 m; u, k3 f# ~% }6 ^, {) g, l9 V$ J+ H5 l5 |6 y( J
9 x$ l) e$ {+ U7 O% I- N& p: i ; i8 W" R0 K+ J# C P0 k
1 w$ c$ q7 k$ w" a) R7 K5 V** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **$ Z; @7 j. z5 b& {
$ L! ^4 t2 S9 ~! W
( |" b! S4 v/ y' J/ c
9 o% I! G9 E- g- O% M/ UForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 2 a' _8 m, x5 w& M% @/ g) k
letting them know they are appreciated 5 ^* G' L U! Z h0 y# f$ Z
for the fabulous job they do... " J( f( h$ m6 [" @0 l
or forward with love 1 k, v+ @1 C- n8 a% ^
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.9 U& _- O0 L B6 j, m
3 d0 P" m! X0 e
|
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
