Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
& K6 y# N0 ~, k. d2 ~Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
9 X/ Y+ X8 V9 s# eand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
/ Q; m# V, z$ }: _  @' \! ~8 LSome overnight travel required, including trips to
$ N. A, x% t+ h9 |. v* o( D! Gprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 A, S* Z4 m0 T1 b/ aendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
2 S) S5 L9 [4 KMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 u& u+ f/ T7 C. }/ S' [7 C: vin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 O  _5 ?; I, LMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  i% \) v! X; k3 @* _& |' F6 @" {" Hsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
0 v) Q) H' A  d  `. ~and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
# D4 \. d3 d1 o+ O) O  j! `8 M7 H" ucoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ E" h7 X1 h6 F) ^" wMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 z. w( R5 U; `3 N- F" U+ _an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
) e' `$ @5 C* `5 aMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 F! f: e3 t1 q& L; XMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
( j# ?, D( h$ V. M, PResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 N* t0 z/ _# ?' q8 @& S* F* T" pNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
' U4 b9 P# i. u- |. w. j+ _without complaining,constantly retraining and
) H) n& m) ^" V" c" d: [( z/ aupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
7 }( p' D! s3 F1 Lcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

- H4 Z4 O8 O1 _: f' M+ X; dWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 ?, A3 j6 C! H9 d5 W: ^5 JGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
- P5 G( k1 I. i  |become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

$ V- Q: C6 N3 l% }( N3 aBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
5 F: `! o' k( w  wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
/ A- i4 K8 N( @  D- X) }no stock options are offered,
% S$ S5 T$ y# p7 J0 pthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
. K/ a; Z' N, v+ p1 ]% b
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.




3 {0 p% o) _; p/ p! g** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.