Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 N0 _( E2 c, u6 pDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
+ w2 S) _* J2 E1 \

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
. Q# l% s* K% D" K* |4 W/ F+ i
. _% t6 s) t% S0 k( apermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 t( q1 P- m2 UCandidates must possess excellent communication
5 \7 \7 M2 }1 a) _1 F% p" |and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ d, b8 Y' o2 A* Avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) E, z; w% T) E- e6 U1 Zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
; H% ?* s. _7 @" C* X  |
  N6 V8 ~. R6 Z: D1 t' N% oRESPONSIBILITIES:
6 Z' `- \8 E2 TThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
  Y. X4 t: G0 ~8 d/ Quntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
9 T& V  ^2 @( j/ A5 w0 k% b& Sin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
- R2 \2 q: k. G: i; ^Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# d3 G) P# Y# j+ bsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
. ^; g4 U# Y" l- XMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" P6 ?; _& p, KMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 n4 Y% O- C" ]! Z6 U% e9 kMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 J! X& n. a2 A6 t: }) k. I4 N' r+ N8 ^an embarrassment the next.
' Q# ^8 [. V* W& U* g6 zMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ k, _. W5 d' I+ P, y) Bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
5 r9 b. o+ y; |3 G$ A. O: h
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
4 o& p. ^2 f* kNone.
% B# f: ]3 a6 M  Q' nYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
" ?8 G# ~* c, z% cwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
* `/ ?3 Y3 [$ G3 T5 z4 B! M3 {updating your skills, so that those in your charge
: O: _# y- |' G4 Y- Tcan ultimately surpass you.
" Z4 |7 T( `7 r- ^3 ]

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" n5 |$ a. D+ b4 H) Z7 P/ qNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
0 [, f9 k1 z* c" D, v( a  m
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 W. N1 c4 \: }Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
7 b& ^3 D' {( v# U% F" D
. @/ i  M: @$ j# F  S, n, gBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
! b; o* z& K: [no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
! d6 q+ D8 x0 @3 r# J. O$ nno stock options are offered,
7 \9 u3 H% o% R+ K6 Q/ ithis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
- g3 m; N( i# [* A
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
# r, Q* l  c( P& d# N- S$ _4 c


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
& Y7 w7 x, R4 k' w. s- |; J1 vfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
3 z: s* ~7 G( w! I& g+ A+ eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
6 a( r; g6 z6 D% P
' e+ E- ~. v# C: b& ?

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.