 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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) g9 a, k2 g9 ]Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma ( i$ ?! K2 m9 ]( V7 V0 Z7 P
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:8 z* L6 }" v# z1 W
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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- x1 B9 }. D/ K7 O: wpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& t3 H) |' h6 ^% B8 I$ B' |* i% f5 eCandidates must possess excellent communication 1 `: P! E2 x/ t1 F2 s5 T
and organizational skills and be willing to work
7 l6 d# i4 w1 r5 S# dvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
( \: v4 u y( {( J U& Rand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; k, H- D. p3 c( p) |Some overnight travel required, including trips to
% d5 g8 f& |. [+ x/ eprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 A3 x4 `- v0 |, e$ I' R0 c3 Dendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
1 @* Q9 k# _/ o; G# i5 DTravel expenses not reimbursed.
2 w. P! Q# l+ C) C) e* WExtensive courier duties also required. $ k' ?% U# V8 e$ N% _" h9 Y% W
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RESPONSIBILITIES:/ J' M: H- ~7 t3 U
The rest of your life. 6 }) R) y% I0 H8 M: z
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, % g% |9 L6 q% w7 s7 m7 K4 ]
until someone needs $5. , ^2 |6 n7 b+ A! ?' x) q+ m
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. t0 w# W @/ l$ n) y+ T' O
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule , f4 g: m; w" {( D3 @
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
2 m4 Z# r6 J2 M; {5 nin case, this time, the screams from , b9 O* R- t( V U
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ) ^" a6 B! [1 V* i4 S
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, 7 P' o2 W: s6 c; q1 P
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! L3 |5 q/ {. dand stuck zippers. ( Y; ]1 \! a+ X* _+ ]: c% s8 l
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and % f* q) w1 W p* ^
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. # N7 ~- }; |6 Z- ~, o8 l
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. , c w- u* `: L+ A5 f; _" Y
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, & Y0 P3 Y+ p g# g" @6 o
an embarrassment the next. 6 A4 ]( W* l/ j: R0 H
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. y0 R1 B& J& t" bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
7 D: P& p1 L! O7 Y2 m) K+ ~5 T" ?' eMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
: ` i6 r/ L. [' f8 rMust assume final, complete accountability for ) U# ]# l1 J5 E2 |3 I% y
the quality of the end product.
9 Z) k+ [+ {% t) A# oResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
0 Q- a0 {5 s% v$ Qjanitorial work throughout the facility.
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& z: n A+ O4 b& H' b: V* M# oPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:( P" J. ~" Q% F
None. ; s" T! Q5 W, ]7 `9 P0 `/ J7 _" U
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
# A% Y/ `: D4 i, J; t! w' Nwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
2 {& ^1 N5 l6 w, q4 G4 T) zupdating your skills, so that those in your charge ! f4 \' f0 j( v0 l0 X2 t1 A
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: : ^; W `( o& o7 f( @3 s
None required, unfortunately.
: X# O6 E" G! Y- ]On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. * B5 Z/ X. |. S+ u
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: ) @. s2 q2 _ v) y" k( L$ p
Get this! You pay them!
0 Q* Y% V( g# `1 H/ V XOffering frequent raises and bonuses. ) r f/ [2 T. e g
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
' j# T$ c# Z' S+ M- Y( Yof the assumption that college will help them
1 _7 ], i4 w/ t; I0 ?become financially independent. 3 O- P3 S% z2 C! @
When you die, you give them whatever is left. 1 Z7 N, M, e1 ?# N7 e: W, o
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 4 B$ t$ ]4 Q, p8 x2 x, H8 R! H
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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; S/ Q: Y; L; T8 c( C* xBENEFITS:
: G6 I) t& E, n6 s9 AWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 G# H( ~) j. {: V4 _2 Q/ Cno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and : l7 O5 ]+ T9 L! E2 o0 r& C
no stock options are offered,
4 s0 T# d1 b' M* B0 ^this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, % A: K' `5 Z) Y3 }: |9 G& f6 A, X+ ]6 D
! [; r" t& O% f3 p9 kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses ) s5 p. E3 j ?2 W5 _
# h4 X+ H7 i$ e3 @2 _, ifor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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+ i0 {2 H% q/ b3 y) v1 R& B5 `Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
5 e, w+ {$ {/ c Y4 jletting them know they are appreciated
+ c# p1 ?, x9 ffor the fabulous job they do... 3 p( J) L7 C8 |7 p
or forward with love
/ h! z2 c, w: u4 m1 Z% M$ Ato anyone thinking of applying for the job.0 f6 u' g) P4 w' r, D4 u
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
