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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:
8 G: X& E! A4 q8 l* XMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma 6 X3 Y8 p3 P' {- v
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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: |5 |" j) l7 R5 T/ M( ~JOB DESCRIPTION:7 b4 {7 u. a' r! E
Long term, team players needed for challenging,- O) D! G7 h: G. v! g  d1 |

" s0 y% P/ \3 Gpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- U  u" Q8 i1 W2 ^3 T: Q/ rCandidates must possess excellent communication 6 M' J% J7 N0 I
and organizational skills and be willing to work 3 c( _/ |0 z- y9 e: k* s2 S
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
( N$ `9 N5 X9 ~+ X9 G5 T* B3 iand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. 6 b& f( }" l+ N+ Y( m
Some overnight travel required, including trips to ' |4 f7 e! t' u+ m
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and ) O  s: _' U+ y6 V# v' @9 l, C
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! * |9 ]! n/ a1 W8 k7 l5 g5 f, D
Travel expenses not reimbursed. " E( G0 K3 x( d
Extensive courier duties also required.
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8 m# g3 j& c6 y; x9 y+ s( VRESPONSIBILITIES:# x( K5 C5 C, y6 e+ l( q
The rest of your life. ) M; B9 S. F  I) _" _% S4 B
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& ]# }% o: f7 Funtil someone needs $5.
5 X8 X, b# \9 C6 v  C2 ?# [9 `* S4 b3 ?Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. 3 u  r( j! \/ a. S" b7 D
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" w  Y' H7 U7 }) M* @1 K7 wand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
  t5 e8 ?* p" t: k2 ?# ain case, this time, the screams from
4 l7 }# G+ E' y2 ?7 r  Bthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf. / Y  D+ i- Y& M
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
9 D8 f8 k' r* t* h9 s6 B/ rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets * b. N* Y( |( s1 E
and stuck zippers. / m( I2 d2 ^5 ~& ]6 d1 `* H
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and * H; C: u; ?0 F
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
3 f4 T, [0 t) p3 oMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. : V$ W+ u5 A3 i. P  g  f2 q
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 4 s8 O6 Q$ N# _( X
an embarrassment the next.
5 ?+ |" w2 r0 M7 L8 |2 ]" WMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ l3 Q. F+ X4 J% X$ X2 Hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 6 k, P( n. z# i1 F9 B
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
, p8 a' E, U# ^1 TMust assume final, complete accountability for 3 a5 l; Z' ]; m1 U2 s3 p
the quality of the end product. 6 m% g1 ]/ U3 {0 R/ F* Q0 ^
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 2 [7 u* ]% y5 ^" [
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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- S9 }5 ?1 D. |3 |POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( R! H) j1 x8 Z% CNone.
; V& K& t& t) U1 q7 m: R# O$ LYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
) t% W: @, }$ ?without complaining,constantly retraining and , D+ ~  }+ r: V0 T
updating your skills, so that those in your charge 1 r1 b0 p" [$ C7 _. ^) n; M
can ultimately surpass you.( h8 d6 B/ m3 A; A

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7 [. H6 Z2 O3 [PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% q& j! s9 X. f/ l6 k; XNone required, unfortunately.
7 Q- u$ n2 q* s, ?* m" \7 q% d( \On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  q, V- ?3 `* Y' ^5 eGet this! You pay them!
9 d* H  |+ |  g& g5 r& mOffering frequent raises and bonuses. 8 B6 c* ^* _* V/ }' u( I1 l
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
/ C) p8 }1 g* X% P, Bof the assumption that college will help them
4 K: j- k6 }" D3 g  Rbecome financially independent. 7 O3 O4 ]# }! f$ O# T* S4 N2 X7 c2 G
When you die, you give them whatever is left. 6 ^* d4 @, ~3 h
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 1 |/ o) {" t/ m) ~
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. # s& r6 F5 B8 F0 Q) A: n
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BENEFITS: 7 H$ m4 M5 a5 C0 i# c6 K
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
% U( J3 s+ q( Q2 b. y, s. Jno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 9 k' n2 k7 j/ h& E5 G
no stock options are offered,
, B7 `0 G% {- O/ Xthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 7 o5 P0 p+ P# R
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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6 ~' C( p' y' Lfor life if you play your cards right.
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% A0 w0 Y7 A  [7 w, b  x8 z** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" e4 g3 Y  a2 r8 sletting them know they are appreciated 8 g2 P6 b: L% C5 ?  _
for the fabulous job they do...
+ o; u: d! o9 K- R+ @or forward with love 9 X. a  J/ W  [
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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