Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 o) i9 k. i/ c' j, L# V5 _Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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5 I- J( i5 y. NJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

* I" T% f1 K1 M" epermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" q- K- Y9 V  RCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
1 ?  E- d/ C* R( N$ Z9 Bvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
0 y* C7 _' ^: L& w, n- M8 band frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 u' L$ B4 E: x# [Some overnight travel required, including trips to
+ i, P& I0 V6 ~primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

2 V# J" \  V4 s; S$ [, c2 LRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
% i3 Z" Q* V5 I# W: C( Y2 WMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
! K; t5 V! L5 duntil someone needs $5.
9 _. p% [4 F" w- z/ K( a( \/ c! s2 yMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
3 V* D3 I; _% CAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" E1 U" b8 m% ~2 }" x; din case, this time, the screams from
8 J5 u7 {% w& N1 Q2 m; Q7 p* ^the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: l0 k7 s. O8 ^% i% E, ~, M, msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- c% ^! Y8 G; s2 V; c% w& ]and stuck zippers.
1 T' Q+ ]& ^! C, P) N3 DMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
! d3 Q5 \: O/ l& hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
$ x' r& G4 x: n4 w0 z8 v; H) _Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
  n! o% c0 L# R* x( t7 i$ DMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
( s1 `6 V6 C  bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 |2 R  m* f, M$ A# g; [: B; h! eMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
5 J5 y1 M! U" K3 }0 \0 FResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
( O, c, i$ B" X5 P' fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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  J: |  S  d$ f* {! r4 g# s& LPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
' C8 ^  z! A  H/ k$ bupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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! ]2 I% D/ X. g! S: Y0 O7 s* TPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
0 o* H! G' l7 v% f. L* |. z1 k1 s3 sNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

2 s9 O* ~0 c1 N3 kWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
. ^" x5 G+ w/ R+ @Get this! You pay them!
  R: E2 w) g# BOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
- ^7 n' F/ O7 N: \; ]- i/ S$ Ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
1 c% f7 l: K, Q" u6 w( c  T+ oWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
) m, y* k+ F: m: {The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
8 M  M5 u' I* E0 lWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 ?; J4 b5 Q6 n, sno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
6 m& E# j* ^  R6 q8 Q$ V% h& h
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
- L( |4 O8 Q0 |9 V$ xfor the fabulous job they do...
  n1 B/ i: y* t4 xor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.