Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
* h# n& S9 a0 |: h- F0 h5 tMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 d* }" q8 r% k5 M' N( t) w2 ODad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
- f0 w! ~% D% c0 Z+ V% Cand organizational skills and be willing to work
& |* K" U* L$ Y" ]& x1 avariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 {% ]) H" W5 N+ `and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
1 e+ I, Y1 m. Z4 wprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& O, c8 G) @. W6 r% y- YAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
$ Z7 C6 o+ h! C+ w, L. Zand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
( L5 e) D+ p9 s0 KMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ _  ]* s1 ?" x; Z# w# Xsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
4 R7 z# O- w5 Sand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 Q. Z! @$ m. H1 E: P/ o+ s( wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% l. r2 I1 n- jMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
! ~3 k4 N, k: j. D* yan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
0 ~4 ^* z* D; Yhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 x) f! B/ t0 Y1 H# PMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) B3 t2 t4 l; A: tMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) v* N$ f& P9 ~# ^' m* mjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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4 A4 U: W+ y, {, o, nPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
" ~, R% h* _4 B. M" C, KNone.
0 v5 }- A+ T% {! NYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
2 \+ J. }$ @) R$ lcan ultimately surpass you.

) H  {' M0 c  F9 _" T
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
# t( B5 d4 ]# v! T% TNone required, unfortunately.
1 R+ W4 m' ?  _. {8 m+ \1 a' X: o  a+ eOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
+ V/ S3 x; E8 G
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
2 \: p# M9 H, wOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
+ [; ]. M9 d2 y8 l$ p2 Oa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
: m/ |* B7 R9 U" z% @# d# Iof the assumption that college will help them
9 C3 b" A, q' `4 n4 _become financially independent.
* V# Y* k5 a4 q$ bWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
$ z, `# [/ p% n* ]1 D& WThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
% X* q' u) \) l3 g! t" V2 B; ?4 q1 Ayou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
3 }5 m6 x7 q9 o% w+ p. Q) ?, H( p
BENEFITS:
: w& M# D: a) E4 x' t# sWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
1 L* [+ C% F  X- `no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
. l  j( A3 ?- u4 fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
1 w' B3 O, R6 G8 ^- F# b
2 M, y; F) E% I$ B2 F* a( Y& afor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



" p7 i0 T# n4 \  {4 @) M0 YForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, t" L9 `; d, L: H, _: s* n5 C: O/ rletting them know they are appreciated
; ^2 L3 b' D; K% O% Tfor the fabulous job they do...
5 r/ \' t" D. j/ J% Ror forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.