 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma / w! b9 ~4 @5 Z. w
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa) P' q! T* X1 n1 v# v1 ]( ~3 O
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8 H* E E* u9 d( a7 K* s& H' xJOB DESCRIPTION:: |# J0 h$ u0 g7 j N: }
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ U6 z3 `* o, N8 t$ P0 q; @Candidates must possess excellent communication
# u7 c/ m: y% p1 H# S- iand organizational skills and be willing to work ! p( w9 \% N9 b: z6 u9 @* C. C% c
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
+ D% a% Q4 P Z2 j/ N' Yand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. - P7 ?% b ^3 x; N$ ^, O
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
( H* E7 V! Y% }primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and : v j9 p @( E- i$ K/ H' ]6 @% X$ l
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! - o* ?, B7 R3 q' }% U: v0 I
Travel expenses not reimbursed. , v$ F) c) j" M, ^9 T9 c, Y
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES: _: d# j9 V7 E% a8 `
The rest of your life.
7 r$ D% u1 S1 wMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
) g0 C0 i8 R3 }- Kuntil someone needs $5.
' B6 r2 O( h+ E. iMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. & o s2 X) P. e+ {+ P
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
0 l" F! i% `. b; dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
# M1 S$ {' v3 a `9 \in case, this time, the screams from 8 v2 w/ ~4 u2 N0 |2 u# @
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. ' G5 _: b" k# l" K# o! W$ u+ N" Y
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, % Z: \6 X+ f5 W$ J8 g
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets % D$ {6 ?+ g5 G
and stuck zippers. 3 j6 j" Y' F1 L- D8 \/ b# ?: b
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
A8 X. u9 ], t7 \/ M s( tcoordinate production of multiple homework projects. 3 p) a1 Y, x( Y, h; H
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
& [1 g% P' @- i0 P) q/ o/ g5 @Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
" W& J1 b" Y3 o/ oan embarrassment the next.
X1 {5 T$ S" e+ u" s u& yMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ k8 x7 k" o3 X1 r/ {1 f! Fhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ! W/ S. y9 u, I
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' v( c2 |2 ^* ^ z+ dMust assume final, complete accountability for 6 U1 ?& e% ?" ]! E* z
the quality of the end product.
4 i6 Z; e' e3 ~Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and ( v6 ~# B' T, x$ m4 \; ^
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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0 M8 T0 I/ k, h9 G- L0 p: q7 ]POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
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Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
* C" w7 ?7 \5 H0 c7 |( b1 Uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and 5 X" ^% p" \8 T4 z O3 N
updating your skills, so that those in your charge 3 t3 [" y1 J3 b" ]) k3 X
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
0 H4 ?" h' t0 V# A1 V' nNone required, unfortunately. U7 N. z0 P6 y# Z
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 8 V/ I- j: z7 @% F% n
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
" Z- x' g' \- t) F/ R0 ? R; AGet this! You pay them!
E7 `) s0 {# EOffering frequent raises and bonuses. ' I+ }( g; x, E
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because $ h6 I# }3 k H, P- P+ p; E& q2 ^: ]
of the assumption that college will help them " H/ U+ \0 P6 Z( k- @1 v* n
become financially independent.
+ T: s* C/ C# uWhen you die, you give them whatever is left. ; m8 R( ^! B* b" E# g6 x. w
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that ( t* A! h) k: O. R) {7 {* f
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. E# p8 H9 q2 |2 p1 [1 D# k
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BENEFITS:
, }: h' d2 Q) @While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, / V. F. G) l5 M7 H# j. V
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and / z. W# I$ K6 Z: M" v# S
no stock options are offered,, H" l$ U1 W% Z% t& K! ]
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, Y" @. K8 S$ t. Y. N4 h4 t
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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* f! z& R3 p- ofor life if you play your cards right.. c5 [! {; l* S0 a# y
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, & }7 u. p7 |# v" s3 ~
letting them know they are appreciated - P% C% q/ _4 H% a9 p
for the fabulous job they do...
6 ?0 o$ q6 j; Bor forward with love 4 w( `0 ~. D3 q. o' _' @% b
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.2 B) @1 |3 n6 A; z
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
