Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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5 U, D! C7 i, J9 KJOB DESCRIPTION:
3 ^7 j7 r5 r' }) G- f4 ^Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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# y, \' p0 z( ^- r9 j& Ipermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) E3 T$ M/ e( o% k/ V( D. Y  s. [Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! p5 L+ [5 P, Q% V; u5 xSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
4 y# |; n/ a! H% kTravel expenses not reimbursed.
" X4 o( R* L& g- r. S* `Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
2 s( C( w$ ^( p* M1 H) G( c1 XMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 H* m; ]6 ?# ~% `" R; g4 ZMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 s1 n7 d/ }% P& c- Iand stuck zippers.
5 O# V1 \2 T' ^0 E" EMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  V; L' r9 ?0 F, J8 UMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
) Q2 k! i! b9 {. W. @) o, d$ M( bMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
/ A  M/ W) |' Q' K7 K: z0 phalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
" p' u# {0 J& ^$ wMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 b- G& d3 d2 @3 u* Q7 EMust assume final, complete accountability for
( ^9 w2 }: Y! Z2 zthe quality of the end product.
" f3 @/ G: Q9 ~" ^6 LResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
% d$ A, `1 q. \" R0 zjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

5 D0 M9 |0 S  P6 O; g, S2 d2 ]& sPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
  b3 B# r) o, R# D. SNone.
. i5 e2 a) l. O) j! w  TYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
! m: g* }, p. ?0 `! M6 z! Twithout complaining,constantly retraining and
" w. s  i" Q; X1 v1 Pupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
. N: K/ m& P2 k: a8 u3 c/ S; a# u" Qcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
3 v, h7 V3 E, x- xNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

4 [) L+ L' I9 aWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  Z, B7 N3 p2 s- ZGet this! You pay them!
+ c; D% [- Q+ C3 g& L, gOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
$ ?; `8 ?8 [, m' o$ ca balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
) ~2 z2 v1 z; v  Fof the assumption that college will help them
" a$ |7 E' J! ]9 N- ?( tbecome financially independent.
+ y( r% s0 Z& I: h9 [5 y* ?When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
$ r' V) X: Q5 H: M- }% ryou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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& I# p3 p% `# o+ j& {) G0 B% FBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
3 Z6 A% @' j% ?# \no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

3 U0 }0 f( R( N- Dfor life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
  B: w% V- F+ {! K5 m' Cletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
$ T$ N2 g1 s4 yor forward with love
; T( V7 q. @& B, V1 w" W5 Mto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.