Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* c, `* _8 ?' _3 kDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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. F/ \7 u2 B" v" m/ u+ m: qJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
9 L( A# ?, h$ q* G; l) L
2 w9 Z+ }8 f: [6 o1 Zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: h/ F5 W+ o, BSome overnight travel required, including trips to
  J( y6 L6 H' Z2 T) x7 [primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
. ^2 q8 U% A- {& T3 quntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ E% K" t5 x9 xAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
) n6 g- A# ^0 b: r" d8 Y- fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ e+ e8 I4 {! I, N+ FMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; P. m* f7 M+ f9 i. W+ msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' Z/ {+ n5 |. n# HMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& y: i* }5 |0 v4 k7 E& ?' Ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
, o7 |' Z# l  ?0 g8 D7 Z# |4 iMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
7 z* F' ?: G; h' w. R; P' bthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
# D" y- K/ n$ ]! RNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
* N2 E! t& ]) I9 S* vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( F9 y& l2 ?; r; s! GNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

  U" _$ j; ?  a4 U; g" hWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; c! N1 q+ n2 `  WGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
: W; A" h: Q' b( j4 Qa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ G* m2 d- Y3 K5 k# g2 Mof the assumption that college will help them
: {3 C0 Z" C7 Z% Y9 U( {! R. Q7 }become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
8 j; U  Y! W: eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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  ?$ s9 O1 A! t1 P( bBENEFITS:
: f: q# }. H8 P  Y' TWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
5 s- S  {! b8 U7 a/ X& mno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
/ y1 b. i/ a1 C, M8 r
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



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# O- z/ ~% Y' i" g# A* C, z! J' |  @** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
" t, o- `& a6 h4 B0 Zletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
8 C3 B* r) g; ]6 D4 X3 for forward with love
; W& _( G4 b) d9 u* fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.