Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
8 O: V/ C( y( V" g8 c/ f# y0 k! A) WMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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: V( E' C1 m, c: SJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
# W6 t' l- W1 Y# Y! o9 @7 G! Kvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 \0 w) ^9 A/ `9 [and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
! ?, ]8 J8 z, v/ Q, H: ?4 V2 nSome overnight travel required, including trips to
( ~. g( ~2 j9 b5 Z" }5 g! Dprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
5 p) G( R* U$ S- G1 _" {Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
1 \" d0 K( D" d3 ?) ]$ H: TThe rest of your life.
& R% L" Q. E. l5 @7 {2 a9 uMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
# E" R/ Z: R# T$ Q) V$ I6 n- Kuntil someone needs $5.
* c4 \. P9 M% LMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 ]8 ]' \1 D" {/ e6 A# w8 O; WAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, V' n0 {* {* p, z. e- yand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
* }$ f) N! H3 k6 Ithe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
- x! |8 ?  M2 d8 ^( W1 f* MMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 t1 {% [6 C/ H, f- _4 t5 }/ f- G6 ~such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 x3 L' X- L  f# X+ Dand stuck zippers.
( j8 V- ?" g- n+ @+ dMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
3 j) q2 J3 }2 }: vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
/ Y9 V- k4 I0 |0 MMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' L" a6 N: p' D! C, p( {& m# Yan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
% N. y3 y7 @( r' ]1 qhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; `: t" D% j6 c& O+ _( t3 g" L1 SMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
/ `: b0 Z$ T1 uResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

9 q- z5 W& H3 IPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
. P! P5 ]4 h# o2 \9 {Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
4 G: s; M9 k, S" W& J6 Kupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
& U) a% X0 H3 [3 L# M3 I& Ra balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ P  m% |4 J( Z' b- k- Pof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
, D  }/ r" T( z" c. U. F7 OWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

7 z+ c3 ~% V* W7 R9 [$ QBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( [- b% G  t2 w7 ]/ Z5 n2 Fno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

3 k. ]% L2 P  r: w; gunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

8 m2 v% T: M+ g  B6 @: ^7 j0 ?for life if you play your cards right.

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2 c8 k' z6 K! F4 @  u, p3 V5 ?! h# x** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
) l  ~5 y: Y$ Y8 Q) dfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.