Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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+ c( y' _8 X' G# s1 o/ q$ f9 dJOB DESCRIPTION:
6 \  @  A/ h, o5 ALong term, team players needed for challenging,
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# u( R+ Z! s0 |) E! c8 }permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" ]( R. b/ m/ ^7 m7 `5 f. sCandidates must possess excellent communication
5 |: K, Q* f4 S8 Qand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* m0 L  l# m% Z- A" j9 T7 uand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
0 e# T# i$ M5 H7 j. q5 oprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 }3 K4 B% Q: }) ~6 E. nendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
! O3 {: e& \2 a% rTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
7 `/ R$ z" X& S4 I8 l+ ^& x7 G9 sThe rest of your life.
+ o! Q! U  v3 D5 q# p/ G3 AMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 y' x) h5 i8 Y: B% Suntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
- M9 ^  `- i5 O, f, }+ K: xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
9 W! K  l* X% Q. A* y) ithe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
: [- |  }3 O6 U  usuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
+ ^9 F2 \# A  dMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
& s7 H1 F* d" F; o' ?3 D# jMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
) B% J% [  m+ F2 E7 q8 ~Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
6 |* v% Z- }( v) Mhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
3 h! p& m/ i; P9 yMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 j# L" [) p+ U$ ~& X# Z4 ?; Ujanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
5 B' T) H9 M. L/ D# @  D" w& i/ EYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
7 R7 j' C" [) Y! iupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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" @$ G; I9 }2 APREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. S, B( t6 W7 gNone required, unfortunately.
' s2 I' T! K' ~+ X. O% h* [4 G8 M4 H$ NOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
( ]& \3 w! ]$ n$ ma balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- I7 J( d% p0 _; o5 tof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
9 O# U# Z3 H& {; m8 y" w9 y* ~When you die, you give them whatever is left.
- G# x- r7 c; v* Q1 vThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
1 D5 c  F, U4 m8 Hyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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/ f5 }; A5 b. P; c+ y+ ~5 U% \BENEFITS:
0 f! i' S9 }. a" Q3 H1 pWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 ^  y4 A: }6 A# \, F; j; qno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

6 @' n! c4 Y$ I2 x8 J3 `4 dunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
, b3 F( \7 f" d$ E. E+ yor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.