 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma ; n) ^, u7 I* L" n. A
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:8 O( q3 c5 Q8 X2 y+ g. h+ ?8 O8 n
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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2 h. r- a# \4 ]permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
& v# d( K+ V! L3 p- ]$ TCandidates must possess excellent communication
' p7 M6 r ?- G; b% m9 Vand organizational skills and be willing to work
' F% `2 i4 C, F! h+ C3 O/ F* pvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
; w# x+ [0 f4 g* _ eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
8 d- ]% _; p; R/ L PSome overnight travel required, including trips to 2 u1 r! a/ a, s$ K# T
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
( R. W/ n6 J- j1 hendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
6 a' l4 W/ D/ ^+ qTravel expenses not reimbursed.
$ v7 s8 Y9 J2 w! u$ bExtensive courier duties also required. , _( y* H( I. G! b# x: h
( R& Y4 n' i! H3 a- m- d+ qRESPONSIBILITIES:
4 h! i; k+ s1 T; X; O# Y: S% `The rest of your life. 8 T3 n3 ?1 x1 }; e
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ) j( r/ D" H4 X+ [' R$ L0 V; p
until someone needs $5. ' ?& D% Z/ ~/ g
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. # I: N& Y7 s7 C! ^) N% E7 g
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule n; M U6 r+ g% X! C9 V
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat : l& v+ b- [* j$ S" G2 o! D
in case, this time, the screams from
$ l- V* b7 J7 Z# v& `" ]% I4 H Dthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
: i/ n5 j9 p- W4 B- c3 Q+ t5 l6 jMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, * j5 z) Z" p; w; ^' I
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- [0 w, r- ]& C3 K' w& p" {! {' ?and stuck zippers. ; m/ U9 k! t8 u5 t2 V* V* s* x
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and . J: x! @0 x" e. E$ _7 h
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. 6 V, y( [4 }" i z/ [0 s6 v' ]6 {. u
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. 7 p* L) p: K1 g
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 2 t8 I+ v% T. }( g' f- B
an embarrassment the next. + q; f$ r5 p- q7 r( f
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, f' s2 A! l; ~# ?half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. 0 ^- [3 j) }9 g! s6 H
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ( J. i" X6 j; U6 d
Must assume final, complete accountability for
' X5 w! {5 t* {8 G- f0 b1 G: ^the quality of the end product.
3 m. Q. l# J- G* }3 ^$ sResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and $ } {; p# d6 s: p9 i9 M5 B0 A" H& t
janitorial work throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
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Your job is to remain in the same position for years, - O% h# {$ `) s- ^/ \- E
without complaining,constantly retraining and
0 J# h Y; V" C6 x$ }+ g C+ o( @updating your skills, so that those in your charge $ b/ p6 p$ }' M* I7 Z v0 }
can ultimately surpass you.* a, k3 R) v/ ~" B/ z# m' Q
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$ \5 G4 m1 @; f8 v. vPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( F% W# {& s) Z2 }( ~! ?: ]; eNone required, unfortunately. # i6 e2 H$ J0 Q0 W [
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. ; T* j5 x0 p; y4 p- }
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
. G9 u; k% Y/ E8 E' EGet this! You pay them!
& @ Q* G9 U; [/ y9 H& {! ]8 jOffering frequent raises and bonuses. , c) p. K8 Q8 u' n
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because ( B, H# x6 \6 I. m& T3 H
of the assumption that college will help them 5 I! g5 W3 @' Q
become financially independent. ; ~7 M6 _ V* g5 |0 t2 A7 p
When you die, you give them whatever is left. ! m5 R) W4 K( U! o/ r _% J D j
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 5 [4 c2 g/ s7 X) W/ i
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. - g4 M( A7 \: `" `) M O6 Z
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BENEFITS: ! k: j3 G. a9 \9 d7 U1 O; v+ b
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, % M+ C ]% T d/ L* h
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and $ T4 H' M6 N. m
no stock options are offered,
3 J( e1 _' ^1 D) U Othis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses 6 N6 u' i, v0 ?& s
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for life if you play your cards right.7 R2 y( U$ h u* r) Q. j
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* w' A" s: d1 H2 I0 T( f) k) S8 e8 d** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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* z, [% A% M+ ~# g9 l+ h; ~+ MForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 0 Y- p- m2 S2 d
letting them know they are appreciated
, }1 ]/ A$ I0 j# m3 R% jfor the fabulous job they do...
; G+ G5 M$ Z3 q, W! T$ ]$ w- hor forward with love
( G8 }3 H8 k( ~7 Uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
