Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
; l# F2 E1 S0 P; q) P; eMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
2 u; j1 j  A. N: @' l, U' v$ {1 BDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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. Y" {) \- L' t/ ~JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
* V; M& o- T$ }8 j0 f' O) }/ i# k) ~7 zand organizational skills and be willing to work
' f9 K3 j6 A; p( L) }' svariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
8 h, S7 d$ o- ~: v: FSome overnight travel required, including trips to
' F% q7 V3 w* Q' W% m" Bprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
  w9 d) }+ ]9 D# [& _The rest of your life.
0 [- N* V( x/ K0 N; WMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
3 u0 e+ L7 U5 |Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
% Z$ b8 t& E1 v2 k& Wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; g6 y% c/ D6 Jsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
. W! ~" Q/ ]7 @coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' F/ m: k# x' H0 x9 r3 EMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' I! t# P: P( q  ^2 pMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
) J( X/ V8 g& O8 E4 J" Bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
) z' ^3 Q! z& ]/ m, i. Jthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
% k& a  J8 }& n8 KNone.
& P( `* a8 \0 F9 ~1 QYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
% F# w# H' j3 a5 [updating your skills, so that those in your charge
, r  M) G% T7 K6 b, O. O; T9 vcan ultimately surpass you.


0 b9 }( [/ e; M2 w1 j: j; t( y. G5 |PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
* _% i3 k1 L- q* fNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

2 V  b% G( j- OWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
' j# }* P2 m! dof the assumption that college will help them
; ]; \  l3 X7 F. g$ Ybecome financially independent.
& a6 g3 r" w; @  }" t+ d) {" ZWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
  @7 @: T. `9 O6 c# TThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) c0 [! _( Y2 m% @no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
5 ]" L8 D) j2 `' g, i' X( Ano stock options are offered,
# ^  j: _. R) s& y2 hthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

" [: o* t# V( I" p6 X) c& v) Kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
  u4 [, q+ [  g0 e6 tletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
: F4 x7 `% g6 o5 Y. \8 j" m2 l' ^& nor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.