Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
' [' T. I  q0 P9 U/ |Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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. V; A! n  u+ ]5 O( N- F7 X$ m7 [# tpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# S' l+ W' v$ |$ KCandidates must possess excellent communication
" Z: T; [) ]5 H/ h# O; Band organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) C6 V- z2 f& y4 p: v+ p$ }and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
" x9 a9 o& m1 K" \  D' jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
3 ]2 f' W2 v9 N& fendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
4 \8 u' m: ]/ _  v5 aTravel expenses not reimbursed.
& Z$ {* _9 J% y  JExtensive courier duties also required.

# P1 s$ h- D) g$ O3 q+ T# [RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
5 R! L. D& B) ]' W9 gMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
/ ]+ K: _- _& \/ ^% g8 ~1 YMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 B/ C2 @: P5 @; s: AAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ G' ~, W5 G/ s, xMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
0 {9 L8 V3 i" B3 O& _8 Y9 J$ Jand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" k  a0 Y8 V2 Y. J) }Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
& v: t8 v2 o  h- N9 oMust assume final, complete accountability for
9 C) J; O0 X% V- i; othe quality of the end product.
" p. ~: p) J( ~5 rResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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; o8 q7 @4 L0 C* t8 n5 r6 x* FPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
. b8 w& N5 {$ I3 K8 W5 @Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
) l1 g/ j0 e; X; ~- k! O8 Owithout complaining,constantly retraining and
, E. z4 e* i- X# y. ]2 kupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
5 `; e9 P% K# Q% m1 Tcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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) o* P/ m& H( v, j. vWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
$ c; S' Y+ I: Z: K5 r2 uGet this! You pay them!
5 F) V3 [2 y3 Y( w1 s. \  J. W( ZOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
% a7 {- L7 f! K/ l0 U* Bbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
- S" J& U- f) b2 |% ^+ v( hThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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- G4 M% X9 s) z/ s* WBENEFITS:
% Q4 Z5 q: F; d2 L- aWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
' u* K2 F& k) |this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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5 X9 [: ~# y4 X# r; A( H2 rfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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$ v$ }' K5 D: q* f4 j) TForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
. g0 B- _- v0 h8 ?# V9 `% vletting them know they are appreciated
( D: N9 u% W, _+ D+ N' H+ gfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
, }2 J2 L1 I/ g' Y3 e: |5 C$ z5 fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.