Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
: I* n; u7 f0 w, _9 Tand organizational skills and be willing to work
& D/ T" W( f, g4 R# Q) evariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- s/ N$ ~; e; ESome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
8 u2 m4 C) C+ ?Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

2 X( @3 b) f2 R; v9 `7 P. e/ U  ]0 h: DRESPONSIBILITIES:
$ _* \" n. d" v+ l1 o! uThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
% Z. e; k/ {6 t6 e0 KMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ U3 X/ _; l4 \+ Z* sAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
) N$ B7 \4 D2 q) z/ r7 H9 sthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
8 T6 s8 d$ H6 @4 O# F( l4 C6 R5 s- Hsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
6 U% h  Y( \) X/ W$ v# XMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
$ z" f" l+ w' E+ b7 R) z/ sMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
8 S5 E7 U& H$ U% z3 E5 IMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
" @7 I% o) e) ~. G0 j/ UResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
' L3 z: r1 D  N0 |& Mjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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) |5 ?1 C. I4 @, ]5 K; |POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
  }6 D$ m' o# M3 dNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
' Z  I1 {+ b" S6 y. j( R0 j+ hOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
- Y1 I# M  B4 v- N* z! V6 Z( FGet this! You pay them!
7 F, C) `' v+ LOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
0 W- \# l3 A1 X# d+ aa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
' b8 q: K9 V" J: ?. n5 m! Wbecome financially independent.
9 p5 U8 Q1 s+ NWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

0 T/ T0 Y5 p% `1 w) rBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
: e) }$ d7 `: wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( }$ T. s$ D3 A* Q0 E7 {2 [% Dno stock options are offered,
. {# n3 O+ }4 q1 t1 Jthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
! H0 k& }/ G+ g% D9 H" ]
for life if you play your cards right.

; a9 W% j  k* B# w


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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, ^. _1 Y1 {0 B% j
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
( y4 r$ h: s! V' eletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
$ E. W& R2 K: x4 M" T) p2 ]# ?or forward with love
- V+ @7 {) Z2 |# |3 M, uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
+ v& B! l% T' Q. S, z3 |- i' V

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.