 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
0 r. T5 v$ e' E: j& p2 O: HDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa3 Q4 N$ }0 M9 k* m4 x3 [
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
# P. A) \4 p& R7 [" c7 jLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* y& U( m: C& G% `8 V7 u: s) oCandidates must possess excellent communication , K z5 B; Z, q- V& f; j5 I: }
and organizational skills and be willing to work
6 s' ~& u. x, X0 Z+ n% Rvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends ; H a& u& t: U: ~* G
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
. D$ \; j% d7 e+ W9 vSome overnight travel required, including trips to
& I; Q0 b7 O2 ^4 V$ D9 x0 Cprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% @& m. o2 O) x5 H5 e0 E( a) D& qendless sports tournaments in far away cities! # v. w: m6 r! f# j0 D4 B5 N
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
% H' Q% _5 t: }5 i; p9 D4 [& F. eExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:1 S8 k# P2 l5 h! F4 m
The rest of your life.
+ c# o+ x( F8 q3 v3 UMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ! G% p# z, Q0 [; }* r+ C+ }
until someone needs $5. l8 n. ]4 l1 X* P: S- O
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. * c R( F2 [' ?* }8 E
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
Q% V4 T/ Q% G/ nand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
) M' z; U2 S6 X: N3 `- G6 F5 [in case, this time, the screams from 8 k, x3 L/ @% g5 h3 Z, w, N
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
# d' x2 \ N1 ?Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 `% I& c( ^6 ^( ksuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
9 Q! Q1 q! \* G, d* r( }and stuck zippers. 1 z0 A. `: E8 l9 m' u# _1 S; }6 c
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and , q# K& c7 w; C; F+ [3 [. F
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% b' l" q8 k9 p& x: Y GMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
6 o$ \7 w) d& A7 lMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
* F5 ?+ ]6 T2 ~3 ^' ~ L) yan embarrassment the next.
" f8 _* p& H- V$ L/ }Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 1 T2 A0 w$ {& b; Y, p2 K
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. / d$ n* j( t }
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
+ K( U/ h! J. Q/ X. @8 PMust assume final, complete accountability for
! ]% K; b2 S, }' ? M& f! Athe quality of the end product. 4 r4 H; _ P4 q) j/ q7 A
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 7 C6 Q5 `4 E0 K! Z3 B3 u7 M
janitorial work throughout the facility. $ h( a6 r; A- R7 i1 g& h* ~. W
3 u, `/ Z' O1 ?POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
0 h( e/ H, Z5 @None. ( c& K! G5 E2 e$ w6 C; S U
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, ; u! t( n- t5 J! I" R& c# t. l. j
without complaining,constantly retraining and
8 U( D2 A7 E# @7 |7 d3 Qupdating your skills, so that those in your charge ! ^+ H/ n1 p$ \
can ultimately surpass you.
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# J- ?2 ^/ r8 K5 r6 L4 xPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
) K+ g- v/ u3 A i9 zNone required, unfortunately.
$ o1 x) v3 J0 d" [5 \# HOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. ( _* h+ ]3 J, j; T2 }. P
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION: 9 O* u. z& [2 H1 N( d
Get this! You pay them! & Q4 v8 s7 T! @3 l; d* s9 K
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
+ Z; I1 q8 @+ t( za balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
2 }' B* x: W! D8 v7 B+ {of the assumption that college will help them 6 G: K1 a' T" Q0 g' }0 ]/ z: D
become financially independent. 7 E8 R; }& I7 D4 h# M
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
+ i+ f$ o. ?+ GThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ {! K# f- F; F; eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. " s2 S7 u% B. N. {' L: l% y
( E' R! \( c1 i# U8 L5 g" m0 YBENEFITS: % ~6 H3 i% D7 f8 y* W. @- V3 D @' K
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
0 n* M; F! A' o$ |no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
0 F9 }+ i3 ]# E) S3 e# ]3 e7 c% w/ Yno stock options are offered,
& E; [# @" Y& kthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 0 g+ V- O" u7 x9 u
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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- g8 o. N4 R) ] E5 _ ^** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
' }* ?+ ?4 H* B# k: I/ G \% V5 Uletting them know they are appreciated
# U1 H& N. v( A( M3 Efor the fabulous job they do...
! c- g7 U6 h" Zor forward with love ; c+ s% @9 g$ c& n
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.! w( o7 P7 J! P9 M; [; P
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