Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% y% Z/ K5 D( y* \Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
0 I* `0 I- i4 h" h. A# V6 H
' Z0 A+ S5 U+ b9 Z. J) @
* B* }! Y# C8 E5 c$ IJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
4 p% {8 A( y' d9 ?2 @0 U2 fCandidates must possess excellent communication
. Y$ d+ K" U' \7 E! ^* Tand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# `% {  k5 N* T7 gendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

6 ]& [+ n; d3 I. qRESPONSIBILITIES:
  b- v9 c% j4 hThe rest of your life.
' h6 A' I8 \! n: s+ ~( v  w% G$ VMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 k; q8 A, H: [+ m, m- n6 [until someone needs $5.
9 r' d: X- z" X1 p- b) i* t5 @5 AMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
# x3 I3 W/ ^, x% q( D8 n1 F& R. nAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
# X: o( w) W/ T4 Rin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
- X; {- i2 V* |$ L& E% l" y/ iMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
. W/ u4 p$ u( S& san embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
1 E7 l' r) A$ J2 w" bMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* w1 b/ v& H3 `  e3 ~* }Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
6 r& H# V6 Q) @8 iResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
7 s1 N) v# m' QNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
0 ]: z& g' p8 W% ]# Zwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
1 R  \+ B( M  G# ]2 Xupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
4 t3 d, P9 a( _3 z# Bcan ultimately surpass you.
2 e/ I$ u; V: \+ P
2 X% a" c4 K% Q( w+ A/ R8 o5 ^
3 M, ]* R; `# i2 y) [0 FPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; d- `! s8 u8 Z6 g/ TNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
5 F; }! h7 z! A: u8 y8 M# {6 h1 `
; Q5 ^* y$ u$ Z# }+ @) D% o, sWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
6 s: X: _/ l7 o( M/ T% h6 MGet this! You pay them!
; a: k4 M; t( q" H( U' AOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
/ E2 \9 u2 {2 y0 rWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
$ {! d) J* d9 u6 y  EThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
" z& d2 l9 D' f7 c7 y' j, i( ^
2 C+ `4 [: _8 g* @. }4 PBENEFITS:
/ s. H6 B1 G( M% S6 I4 JWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
; _! T% I. y0 L0 l. t+ ?no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

4 S- H! k# N$ h. \3 vfor life if you play your cards right.

# a) G* y. X1 A  ~2 M: U

7 P* j9 I# c4 k2 N' d
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
, J2 g; d( ^" c/ L4 K
+ j, G/ |. `' }1 y; `) |
( G" X; g, F* A' `
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
! I* z; a% c# B: M5 h: c0 D* f/ @* Cletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
2 V6 t& q: I! u+ G5 J2 y: Zor forward with love
. S/ V/ Z, e0 b: u& c' P- M7 n0 I$ fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
6 H- S# @& H; U# [

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.