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Job Description - Parent

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鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
POSITION:6 ?/ e7 J+ `9 `/ F
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma " o% {. B3 ?$ L, j8 f$ {4 R* ?# \
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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! _. C/ a! a8 l' z' JJOB DESCRIPTION:0 L3 K! L! Q6 M% j% @  o
Long term, team players needed for challenging,( [( P0 z0 T3 A
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment. " N: M8 G  j4 d, y
Candidates must possess excellent communication + ]; R, M5 h- A4 j, }1 [1 v
and organizational skills and be willing to work
. C% M) X) T- P3 F2 _" B) mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
! Z6 R3 p6 i$ i! ?+ l' Eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call. $ Y5 z5 @( A. ^4 R- m" A
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
4 j( w) P1 {& u* U3 `( A1 c3 `primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and / z' m3 ^/ J, w- P0 V0 E# E7 X4 L
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 7 g4 T7 u/ ^% A8 v; [: r7 T
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
9 X# i1 ^0 \6 M, w4 FExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
( K* I0 q6 C* u$ P# Z: yThe rest of your life.
, k3 g% D( H7 u1 F! u" ]! PMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
' i. J1 r6 a9 c* Luntil someone needs $5. , m1 S. c2 t) ~: K: ]1 I2 d; a
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. a5 |3 U: Y/ K6 D6 [  WAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
# Y* ^! j$ y5 k2 e4 \) R, yand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat # Z" ~) O$ V+ ^
in case, this time, the screams from
# S( R0 z  j5 O! w/ o1 othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
6 C4 o4 B9 [% ^; h7 H1 FMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' s  @. T8 S. p/ P, Q3 ?& ], Osuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
! c$ J, a& y0 M. g) d9 n  {and stuck zippers.
  c8 e+ I. I3 C7 d7 G# HMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and # E. x6 ~3 x# h$ I$ P1 g* i
coordinate production of multiple homework projects. % U  R7 p6 ?+ b" h5 E
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. % ~# C( Y5 C/ Y) y
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
* g+ [9 L0 {( j3 e* |& }: O+ [3 q/ m, Ian embarrassment the next.
. g/ p5 Y7 u1 C6 qMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
$ _+ l, O$ f; \' {. c) Ehalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& f7 b$ d; T0 yMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ' Q  \- [* R2 s+ J' {% I( |* U
Must assume final, complete accountability for
$ z" W# F- U6 ^7 ~# ^the quality of the end product.
8 Q& y6 r% a" Y2 m: M  P: \" _/ ^. YResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ u6 H7 T0 }1 fjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
/ D, e5 w' d2 @6 R. ^( G& mNone.   d2 h3 q; n, C3 M+ a' |
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
  Y+ g/ m3 c  Cwithout complaining,constantly retraining and + H% K% k; [$ B' h; E0 L
updating your skills, so that those in your charge , D8 r8 i! b" m# A% P5 X+ ^
can ultimately surpass you.0 q/ @. O" P3 q9 p0 Z
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" R0 [4 v/ @8 y0 `5 G2 BNone required, unfortunately.
4 ]& o4 D! c& MOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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$ Z+ q0 j" W( o9 h, J5 X5 X: \WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 B7 }4 ?0 y7 r# y& T9 g3 H, J) TGet this! You pay them!
  N6 z' ^: h. F; \6 ]+ n) {Offering frequent raises and bonuses. ( X3 s# ]" E2 J# ?5 |
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because 2 a6 D# e4 p# R& i1 B$ s1 S( F! G
of the assumption that college will help them   Q% o' q; l# D0 q+ E# x. e: Q! A
become financially independent. ! z4 H( W! H9 W  ^$ V4 Z
When you die, you give them whatever is left. - p1 ?8 y/ z6 y3 J3 @7 u
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that 0 o  o: G9 a+ t" n
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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$ q: _4 A# G5 H% f1 c7 l% H, oBENEFITS: ' b0 s) M% z9 i( u6 G. Q0 k
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, . V* G" R  F, o0 f6 p* r2 v/ z- ?* J
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 c$ y4 W. I4 q, k, V& ~9 N& ?no stock options are offered,
8 x: c6 q& J5 n5 T/ ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 0 y( T: f3 Z* G0 Y6 F9 I5 @; E

; P1 n$ e- N! }! ounconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.3 P! ]" |6 n+ F& s3 g9 R& {
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **& y; G4 N! ]$ \; Q- E! a4 u* ]  R7 n1 x
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, * j$ {5 E( y' k
letting them know they are appreciated ! e$ m, J+ g3 O/ i' l4 E& u' Y
for the fabulous job they do...
5 m; ~3 Q' Z) h" wor forward with love , q/ O$ [  g! Z/ H6 k6 E: O* D- N" |
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19 | 显示全部楼层
Great!
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-4-25 09:04 | 显示全部楼层
i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.
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