Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
; `. |( ]$ @6 _0 ]. u' }2 bLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 P* \: a; s. o' O" kCandidates must possess excellent communication
. h- l2 l) ~) |) e* B$ Fand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
! ^% e8 l2 d( l: \and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
: ~9 l3 J( N+ Y# w% L: e1 [! L1 cSome overnight travel required, including trips to
3 Q6 V- y6 F+ Z+ J0 G, wprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
3 ?" h7 v+ p$ \endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
- R7 H1 U7 f$ a: n0 }) w- J* g* oExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
' U! x% A9 \) G8 i- r5 OMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. N- [/ y+ @, O( E( z, wand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: n" K: P, @6 W6 q  K, lin case, this time, the screams from
, y9 R" `; l2 Q* _! Wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 ?8 |; V) O" \  Q$ k, Z" w, vMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
& T8 B* Z7 ^5 _- O- G1 S+ `' jMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
* M6 [: Q4 f% z1 j2 J1 j7 N+ q7 c% ONone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 M4 r/ J; ^' [1 rwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
" p* u2 U5 H8 w* u/ hcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
+ _& d: @" U( T# m6 K1 e( {# NOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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, l; ~5 L1 u* T* I; i% _WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
' z$ s: _9 G: @5 aa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 p4 A! u4 F# y: iof the assumption that college will help them
6 O9 z' j0 E: gbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 V9 ]# e( z& X& p, t- }9 z& Uyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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: E( ?3 ?/ }# E$ g0 b. S' EBENEFITS:
1 f2 w& a! ?- Z& L6 q/ DWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
- {& W; w9 f+ G. H6 R& zor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.