Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
9 J% L1 ~# A& f& rLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
, c& n/ ^8 v2 e& ACandidates must possess excellent communication
" a; _2 S) x* _/ p5 U, aand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* H& G. s/ Q: y7 \; g' mand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
+ _- R; ~* W) {; k! C: }5 sSome overnight travel required, including trips to
3 Z& I2 `, y# ^6 Tprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
4 }2 i5 Y" A- e* H$ [  Wendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
9 A( H7 I0 x% f( g! ]# DTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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% H2 @0 [& s0 h: _0 j( QRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% {+ p9 u1 W! K; z2 S4 funtil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
1 d/ e8 h5 Z, {3 o" B) @4 w+ gAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
8 Q9 I, g3 }6 e9 ^8 {& Q% d7 Hin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
5 o: F3 G! d# isuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
2 I, O: b3 k  [( R  o; dand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ Z+ ?( ^$ J& Qcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
) r9 _5 ?8 e0 L; w: c- F9 U8 U( LMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
1 l. f# @7 W9 D8 G, Qan embarrassment the next.
# {" ~: K) Z9 P& X1 o( e% m. NMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
+ A8 O, I5 L6 w9 i3 r5 Y7 Bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ F8 W9 M# P/ o: dMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
' R6 |! k7 Q8 {1 ?. P" g( ZMust assume final, complete accountability for
8 E) g% I! E( m* \. E: G! P2 ]7 k( c0 Ythe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 t7 r# G! ^5 @& k4 P3 `" l( s8 Z" P3 Ajanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
" D8 k- P3 Z0 ]. e* FNone.
4 _3 T5 j. C0 N" `- K. kYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
! o8 m' u( l) ?, y# Jupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
4 p, w7 I% S) tcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
6 u* I; E$ v( pNone required, unfortunately.
3 e' s- m# {1 O& V, h0 s3 gOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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! h6 w& Z# r" G7 r" ~: iWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 M2 z- U& P, ^* }5 oGet this! You pay them!
( {7 O, `$ Q& b2 Q; b3 ^2 ~5 vOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
& }+ Z4 J- T* A& X* z# ]The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

- u% C3 L3 [- c: a3 KBENEFITS:
3 ]+ v1 S- X/ M3 g9 w/ bWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
- Y) d% E" I0 V* Z  |# Yno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 N$ C* O: g2 L" ?9 Qno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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7 t, x. P+ X) l) t. j/ Kfor life if you play your cards right.
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, i9 B+ L) X9 z** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.