Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
! L+ T% }* x7 O! |' z  c# sMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
/ a, l- O- ~2 x* u; kDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


% y: y5 K5 [4 T5 d2 q; I& I' X% m' ZJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
4 b! d# Y- t. A, vCandidates must possess excellent communication
/ G# X0 m  g4 @3 j( x0 eand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
8 k- U+ V& @3 b0 z3 MSome overnight travel required, including trips to
- S0 t" V  |7 b% D* ]primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ K+ P0 C& M) \2 rendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
  M, s/ A6 M/ s" J7 X9 o6 M
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 }: f6 X5 `7 ~until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
  w3 A# a; u1 a% Z7 W! e, @in case, this time, the screams from
( B8 O6 B: v& ]: [0 {; Q/ jthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
& h, ^: d7 V" |$ YMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
2 w0 h: X! z) y* u7 ysuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
0 s! X3 k9 q, ^5 e7 c5 m. ycoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. S# I; y, K' ]% T* B5 nhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) ^2 W% E$ H3 ^% z7 H( V# X/ n( t6 {4 ^6 @janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
# Z! {. z, \7 V& sYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
* `1 C( Q$ v/ a2 D- O$ K3 ~. Xwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
: p2 K; R+ Z/ g+ g3 L. P3 ^! f

: f1 V+ V2 B/ O1 e8 w  q6 @, dPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
. m: ^0 e2 S, y& T# ?+ RNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
+ c+ d( H% M/ `
  R& c  n8 A' n. Q' R' `, DWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
+ B5 |9 }; H% B% W, ~9 ta balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
" H6 P+ _# t" o2 o& \) ]8 E8 eof the assumption that college will help them
& J% q4 `" D$ q# f/ d2 |6 n  ibecome financially independent.
$ h0 ?. H0 T. f$ T: ?0 m: Z) E# ^* i7 v' _When you die, you give them whatever is left.
) }+ Q% }' {: s/ qThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. ^9 O* [  f, E1 N1 K( z; M. k6 i7 zyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
5 t- P; w! P' C& k" j; b8 P4 w7 @& r! ]
BENEFITS:
9 a. {+ g2 @; h1 G3 Y3 TWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
- z# l) A5 Q) \! G; x3 F0 W2 X& hno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( ?# g% W- K$ c! t1 m% vno stock options are offered,
5 ?8 A+ d4 G9 u$ gthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

4 w( O& ]* m7 W8 Rfor life if you play your cards right.



" W  D$ M# I( x- R
0 u/ X0 K* A5 V. B! A** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
+ U- c, j$ c  `5 X$ G


2 f! T+ _4 |$ cForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
* g+ |* X9 f: ^* r2 A5 K) Fletting them know they are appreciated
8 S, Z: F+ O% Vfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
. Y: o2 }( e9 S6 l/ H! K& [to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.