Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
6 H6 [( G& o- ^5 ~# _% ^' NDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
! _3 F! `- b" B  _Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* P2 D8 _" x3 P( n9 BCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
8 _/ t8 ]1 e+ D; z4 Rvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
8 ?- p& |) p" k1 F9 c; eendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
2 u8 P/ O: Y# W, X& CMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
0 X# f/ y* T( r8 H% h1 O' f; GMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
. l# P# Q2 H5 `% l5 F1 w, u( ^and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
) Z2 S. @# H+ Lsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
+ C2 t2 e! w; Y8 aand stuck zippers.
- l. G! F/ g6 U3 C& E6 t+ @Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
! g- R& l2 K1 Acoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ a2 h/ Q$ h+ I, x5 |# ZMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
4 L. v; R0 {- oMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& X* I2 D+ c3 `( D! P+ k5 {) e% lMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
; {1 f1 [: ~8 ?9 F' J$ NMust assume final, complete accountability for
' J+ r+ ^) D* F% _" othe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
1 J! i- y6 |. h6 Z' t4 ojanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
7 L/ ?  s% P7 gYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
: B1 G# O' y4 r( z5 U( Wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
" [% X* y3 F- |6 Hcan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
8 E0 g8 p2 g& uGet this! You pay them!
4 g, B! F$ ~( Y  [7 QOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
9 P9 O2 g  A4 x* V/ m& vbecome financially independent.
9 Z/ _" ~- w2 r/ t5 N& `+ oWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

" I3 _8 s: o7 q. P! L* nBENEFITS:
# x' G# U4 L" p9 GWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
  t* H+ q9 ]% Xthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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+ n) `3 |  J/ B4 aunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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4 R& r6 w6 f/ b0 _$ s9 R- ?5 p1 H** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
7 t+ [3 ?1 y1 c0 {- H, Fletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
6 `: h" R/ I3 G. n( X! k+ Gto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.