Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
) n- |' }' R: H3 p7 ?2 h" B; ^' f+ SMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


/ F0 \9 S2 r3 ~; E3 B, ^4 @JOB DESCRIPTION:
. d) e& ?2 r- h5 zLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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' m% X, i, T0 `9 }& }permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
7 z9 k! J! `8 J% {6 m0 gprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
) V* t% {' f* K; Q, CMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
& }& L! `" h1 e) U- ]until someone needs $5.
, m- N: G3 E  ?2 k2 `7 w# nMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  X4 L# X( Q# u: s, s' xAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
+ m6 Z8 F" p" O6 e% dand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
1 O* D2 }$ i- _- E- rin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
" \% h9 k  U1 AMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
9 D6 N9 b/ W4 l8 o: T$ lsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' i( }; P( _1 C' nMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
+ {: g/ X% g; f) g6 s! ^Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 X% j5 k7 R; t, P( _1 nan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
2 G# o; A( d& v8 j! c) Ythe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
% K) B. u, S" a/ K! ]# T" qjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
1 s! F  q/ V/ P9 h" i: R4 nYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
+ z& a; x0 v2 [, K9 W' S+ D8 {can ultimately surpass you.


$ h8 l% a3 K9 y& D  yPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
2 a8 s5 f# T; p; G' l) c# MOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
( _% o8 G- l3 h) U9 o1 L' jOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 |4 a+ Z: r/ O4 f1 G$ s- oof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
; E% ~+ }5 n  z4 |When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 s+ x" Y- C9 g2 i3 g8 oyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 c' \6 W2 Z- c. ]9 W# g) yno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
. y1 f1 v% h% X  i$ Mno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
) n3 @  ?- b9 k' P. N
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
/ M8 Z2 D2 U' ?& r
9 S2 ~6 g5 Z) [7 k$ Ffor life if you play your cards right.
" A+ @+ }9 F9 B. }; e

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0 K! ~& i, q7 p8 y** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
' p% E9 F  E& x8 {
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  S( d" T% b$ ^3 B5 A! S9 d0 NForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
5 {; o( {# r# [- Q  Pletting them know they are appreciated
. _6 b- e9 ]7 R' Q9 a" }7 H) V9 Efor the fabulous job they do...
& {$ p1 k& Q+ R5 _( q& gor forward with love
4 z. f6 c* D' Q# |, W( H8 ^/ Qto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.