Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
, L/ M# X) O# hDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ a3 [. H1 Q/ o4 rCandidates must possess excellent communication
+ i+ }( A+ d6 H" }7 k- ?/ sand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
6 }$ [% t* D4 A0 s# uSome overnight travel required, including trips to
9 U' ^) R" V, k# M# ~' o0 ~2 Y* ~% xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
/ A$ }6 c$ s* T* Tendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
( U! m. f4 T6 Y9 U5 Q% w- X1 iTravel expenses not reimbursed.
$ A' E8 p, j3 k8 vExtensive courier duties also required.
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8 t0 m$ n4 z: c% e! g7 A' H/ L( ERESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
4 E% `! ^7 _7 E9 K8 k) C9 IMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
/ M7 W# O. c8 A' F" k) LAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
5 H/ K  O* P) ?, T, j$ Q& q! ethe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
# b6 \0 }3 y0 Zsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ o% R1 S* P( z. rand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
* k; C% ?$ F8 D# EMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
5 K' K* G4 y9 G1 A7 B, [/ hhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
; Z/ x. q% o' Q: dthe quality of the end product.
' k# O8 _0 @- W: |& U- I9 SResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
. u7 d) H' ~6 x9 @5 Jjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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: O& i; ?* o; H" L0 Q7 kPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


- v" z% x# _+ @+ _; O% OPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
* j6 \5 G) q* f0 `! w! q% ONone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 ^; T4 \4 Y  u& u+ ia balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
: T1 ~' s) I) s7 Q: O! K1 _5 Lof the assumption that college will help them
& b0 K7 K8 Z4 W" d0 bbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 k/ `" d' n/ Z; m- S# Q1 Jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
8 k, q) m; a( s: _& T9 b% wWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
9 g' x# W3 C" _: x% F" F1 z
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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1 k0 p( ]( b% @, K9 zfor life if you play your cards right.

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' L  t9 U2 B" l7 w** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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7 w' _5 a6 n9 b& c# j2 H9 `) HForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
3 l: A* s; |' H0 `5 a$ v2 D6 Nletting them know they are appreciated
( m! H- d1 C' @" a9 V7 [# Gfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.