Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
7 e1 q# d& M* tMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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) i) i3 T' _# y. {0 uJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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. @; v: V' ~% b3 l/ w% dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
) Q9 l4 x0 }3 f5 l) B/ zand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
- \* `, V8 _* [) ASome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
  {) e/ g# ^! y! bExtensive courier duties also required.
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; S9 A% E& F# n, ~. H  r& q) |RESPONSIBILITIES:
2 q! S( v$ Z! H) VThe rest of your life.
  p6 b& T4 h. I. Y! NMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
4 }2 b; q# y/ W, t  Y; A& T) A: CMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: a. N  v$ F5 ~and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
0 \/ e+ C2 m" K1 X1 KMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
3 A/ [8 C) D5 d4 k! q4 fMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
- J9 ^" g2 s  t) b* Hthe quality of the end product.
. K6 W# k; S: A6 D% eResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 K/ _$ h# Q% s0 s) pjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
) l5 N/ f7 O  J6 `0 J7 [3 A$ z: WYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
% ^7 Q. N* E7 K/ bwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

# J8 E: ]# w3 h- v6 \) O( l0 c6 dWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
7 r2 H/ ^( Q) j1 T" @# Z# pOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
+ e' ^+ A8 \" g6 h- ~a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
/ j  q' S# [( ^4 K, LThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
3 v& v' s6 C( V6 Q, C# J+ gthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
  t) r" O$ V1 Q' \7 Lletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
2 J' ?; g8 p& [9 S, |1 i3 fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.