Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


# z- X- i2 P3 u3 FJOB DESCRIPTION:
* Y4 f7 [+ ^; h) A/ d' eLong term, team players needed for challenging,
9 T8 Y" A0 ?9 k
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
! t, o. L; M  I; y8 [  Z. }and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
$ T7 B! u  A2 G' i" I) O# ESome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
% S! l. z. B) q! T4 n) hendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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* Z* a" O; y5 a7 k/ SRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
+ ?8 E0 H4 }$ B+ L( O  G4 M7 BMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
, N- C% J5 g& c! j5 W. L1 fMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
+ m% V) y# I' t2 m# _6 H: @8 Land stuck zippers.
! E. {7 U3 j% W1 `! BMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
+ n2 T, [1 G# F, `Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
. @7 l. P  D: g/ w, `1 BMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
- ^' h3 Y+ Z" q' ~% C( rMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ [; d& o& T" a" T% sMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
$ N' `) O4 }9 \/ l6 S( h7 gResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
6 U: @# Q) f* w; S$ i& ^& RNone.
: Q. V4 H) ^' j' i8 w7 EYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
0 \( D$ x+ D  r; y+ _% Ccan ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
) a' ^' a8 J9 ?a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
( W3 y8 B( A" I1 w$ Q5 Sof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
- I* k% }/ T4 w* T2 LThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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, O( R& V1 u/ I% c0 p' [' f8 C0 iBENEFITS:
( C1 f& {3 f7 F* j& k5 IWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
; Q1 H& z- }1 ?' c; `: P' ino tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
" c2 U7 ?8 W: [3 v2 _this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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% G$ q" B& D9 n** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
2 L! H# |6 U# Q, p5 b0 Yfor the fabulous job they do...
9 [" N0 F/ l% \( z/ Yor forward with love
; Y& ]+ k. P4 B! f; B3 @to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.