Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
# h- I5 r( c& y/ G4 h0 a) p# |( O  GLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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3 @/ X6 \3 T  o: ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
) x& }' w0 W9 F$ g. z( V1 ECandidates must possess excellent communication
* k* m% _# T) j, F& b5 e0 Rand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
+ q% A- J  j; D: `Some overnight travel required, including trips to
: P2 |' f2 B3 L: m( Jprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
2 J6 w5 n/ q5 I! A8 T5 YTravel expenses not reimbursed.
% k! {" R6 k* x) M' Q! cExtensive courier duties also required.
+ b9 {  J! L9 \6 c
RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
1 \) i: V0 _' o1 K! V/ fMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
+ F, C/ y; u9 g: CMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
) ^% L+ G% I# e( F4 xAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
6 o& I, P; }3 Q. f: T8 Rthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
3 t- x2 o5 `0 \, `# T& KMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
9 T- a. F& v3 R) V- k4 ssuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
, r, \- d- Q  S' IMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
7 I3 H# v  W8 b( s& n2 c- vMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
' r3 z' W. `% n$ x( Z& TMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
6 }4 z5 ]/ C% `0 ^half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
0 Y' A' J9 q5 {& o4 u  x, D- KMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ P  i, ?  v/ ~1 i% G7 Y; nMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, U+ D. t* h) j7 `% I# Z  njanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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9 L9 w4 V2 `3 a% Y. vPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
) _/ a5 o$ x4 wNone.
2 s! F3 y6 }" r- r9 V9 G5 C+ gYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
* \3 i0 x+ X$ U, j* yupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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/ B: ^; o7 J; K& n1 nPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
9 E& K/ {; I8 X0 E; dNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
1 r- i: }- ]7 J- Q9 d* Q/ b4 _Get this! You pay them!
3 n/ P6 h1 a' K- V9 U6 BOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
% Y9 d. W6 s$ ybecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
0 g  w0 i6 l7 s$ }8 T/ B$ ?! z3 vThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
. z7 u) i- b1 ]/ j% o0 a4 tyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
% h# f% m1 a& b, D3 d' \3 [While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 ~( q7 y; h% r8 Zno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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/ Z" U6 E. m- S! y; y& e** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
  K5 {- ]* e2 h3 [6 A; Bfor the fabulous job they do...
- y' @6 y5 ?5 L' A3 P% \or forward with love
( H- N- n5 [; {to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.