Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
  \/ A  n5 A, o2 Q4 T; @) |2 ~9 \: yMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
" g% x, |/ T) c) N( c5 Z  |and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
  t# V$ Y+ S) Eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
3 i: I( v- a/ g* I! x# H! i! Uprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
- V' ]- o3 o1 _" kTravel expenses not reimbursed.
- }, U6 U8 k$ ~% p* vExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
9 B6 m/ e$ O. C4 f% K  pThe rest of your life.
/ n. J) W% y. WMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
3 Z% U# A8 |! E+ k% N. }( f# Iuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
' ]% m1 m) ^, n9 o  R, _+ O8 @7 W9 sand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
3 q5 U4 L2 m/ F, Wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
  W1 l& _2 y' F, O) D! J  c* |Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" E* U# x" k0 u6 f3 n( psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
' U3 T1 P  L8 KMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
1 N% F4 K3 f' J% ]Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
7 C. N% Y5 v* b; T, w  I; O% i0 HMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
. S4 k& r9 h1 j& i6 WMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
+ r0 g) M, Y2 B0 d6 eNone.
9 Q" P7 M' V4 Z% E0 f1 C# Y) B0 \- EYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 V3 C7 U* F' q6 zwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
- t3 z8 T) q1 A( |6 W0 wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
# T9 J: w7 K2 [! _! z: N/ [, wcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
; w8 \+ ]0 ?* _" H  F+ W' gNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
3 h6 j) D8 t2 o0 G1 T
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
( p5 o0 s: z/ E3 F' }; vGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
# ?$ B. o9 w" d' z" mbecome financially independent.
% b3 Z5 e" |0 ], xWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
% _8 l9 c* a- z7 zThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
" ~; _4 B7 G5 G" M$ }/ @/ N
2 V/ s( }/ T' kBENEFITS:
, E: G: ?8 e; V. f0 mWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) v+ G8 \: ?$ |/ ]no stock options are offered,
9 K& y- H* U6 q! }; F; l% [8 r" Dthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
) v3 S0 F5 ~% F$ H1 T' I
for life if you play your cards right.
7 ^$ S$ X# z4 X- b
4 [; `- Q" q1 V6 `' ^

: t, Z6 \6 p/ N1 f6 H# y; x  G
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
+ d. d" j4 h, \
9 `( A9 N1 ?' O8 I! s; [' V8 U, u

. W3 _- Z8 N/ eForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
; Z* N& n2 _5 d4 M0 h2 Jletting them know they are appreciated
4 b$ u( v0 @0 Lfor the fabulous job they do...
# a, h8 X. M0 B! |8 ?or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.