Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
' b3 a7 ^! I5 i6 Q9 j% ]( GMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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( \) B, R" w" w* D: W: J3 Y9 n/ UJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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& f, E7 y8 s5 F+ h1 b' |permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
; c) o, D! Q& B# X- B8 ^Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
- L, g8 _; Y" w; h( K- i/ rvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
. L( K6 E& ]8 e! jTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

1 w/ V. g; S6 N5 m0 \+ L9 q! D$ X: URESPONSIBILITIES:
1 D' {4 u+ [5 v% p$ @6 H6 YThe rest of your life.
% D1 m3 ^% [, W7 A! U- C) DMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
( i6 z9 c- ]% l% Nuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
! Q( d1 q0 ?2 cand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
3 _0 E4 M$ }5 {0 Lthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
  {) M  z9 }9 O" V$ d# @, AMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
5 H' g' S% u: p) v4 v6 L  j) |and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
4 c* n" c# e' k3 xcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 {) R, z& J6 l7 I; z1 b0 r7 z/ aMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
, a/ z5 j" X! ~Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 z4 ~# v- f. Ojanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
/ m" ]% |8 p9 E9 j; z2 L. Y  g( a. ZNone.
' m5 b/ G7 \( U" I/ [2 }Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
- D; I  t5 J1 A* ?. R* F$ [updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
0 O9 B8 V( T2 B+ {7 W( b+ NOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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! d% u) Y/ {  s- z. b; eWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
- E! [6 C7 w3 T8 R7 \, }Get this! You pay them!
) _! K1 b# T! H4 ]+ BOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 P; E/ @# S1 Nof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% U* a7 X( b' O( Y4 V7 Z9 ZThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
0 _7 Z" y  s7 t0 jyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
6 o2 K  _7 `# f5 {% i" V4 o1 n  hWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

# a7 e$ [- Q% r' e, _) y2 f, C7 s- f& Lfor life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
0 v- u  B8 Q* [/ aletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
6 |" B& P- V$ x/ H* Gor forward with love
8 @: d2 r5 S0 l* J( yto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.