Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
; Z  \. `4 F# g! J, a0 |Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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; N: k$ l9 u* h' S5 ~* G1 S* YJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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+ n$ n) P6 ?+ K" S8 qpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
6 c% ~! _+ @. o! q0 I3 c) E* y, KCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: W6 _- m7 P2 K- J, y% `* pand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
( M0 w( f9 F  |7 `+ @Some overnight travel required, including trips to
% k0 Y5 w/ m/ h; P' j: P1 xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
+ M3 D! {% U( p4 P2 t- KMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
7 N: V6 M6 q( b, Q( F3 Puntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
, s. z# H/ N8 R: S$ u+ V% c0 d* e" ]Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
$ [  V) J# [0 d6 m2 y% Pand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
8 K0 |; B) G, H! O. r) [the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
0 a5 r, H" Y+ yMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" I. r; t+ S# R9 \7 `. `such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
6 ^8 \; W7 E7 _; j# m: bMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
0 Z" x( ^6 A- |* v; d& _an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
/ K( Z* |% [7 v+ V0 GMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
2 {( W% @+ Z7 S6 M  _& S) INone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
! h- z+ O+ Y) Lwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
* Y; E) n: `2 u* z8 |2 P5 o8 ^updating your skills, so that those in your charge
# }% S! {4 g" B, W+ T2 Lcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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+ E* C' z# E: o* E3 q* E7 BWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
. w$ R, y: _5 g8 S) Z, hGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
, @2 L8 N: G0 \  ~+ D) c/ u3 Hof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
: ]  W5 O9 {6 ]0 Y0 yThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! D) ^$ w' b4 ayou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

% D; A2 y" V+ X% [# k' tBENEFITS:
9 B& B0 q; G3 N, rWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
* H: f7 x  Q( R8 Xno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
3 {7 M/ m2 m) q3 f& h2 G9 nno stock options are offered,
1 t2 r) t# U$ m6 z: f, G! Jthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

) U8 N6 o$ s, {/ zunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

; K1 t& L  q% S- v7 Xfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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7 @: Z7 z) _  u0 `% bForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
/ W% N' x5 N, x6 n0 e2 n, L7 sletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.