Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
1 Y% e% k# O% E$ K& @Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
+ }7 E& D8 D+ Y4 J+ W3 ~- wDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 P, w7 O4 T0 WCandidates must possess excellent communication
: u+ h0 d. J1 j. f7 Jand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
, e/ k% u0 D( c- tprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 X) o; y( }% u; x) V* o) aendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
% ?- }& r3 O  w- T5 DExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
+ \3 D: V3 E3 F7 P% t1 Y, _The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
3 R) @# i" `* q& Luntil someone needs $5.
$ l6 |. ?% K$ a4 cMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 I  }, j, m: kAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
8 |! R5 M9 x  g. qand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
* }% k! `) m2 V: Q0 d3 ^2 L+ x; Gin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
  W* c- O) @& v0 \" O8 j! I9 SMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
, E5 ]5 g. `+ u5 ]" zand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
3 l7 k; X3 ?' {8 M. x9 wcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
0 E  b7 X0 `$ D" G" q8 bMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 _; O* }6 D2 `) j% _) u  Pan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
8 S4 h4 W* z4 y" V2 Yhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
0 ]: H; W! S: h( hMust assume final, complete accountability for
; ^* ?1 r% l* Z; b/ o/ J2 t- j$ Kthe quality of the end product.
+ b  W2 u1 v( _Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

% H0 D) `& K* P9 i8 ?* ^( f7 c- ZPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 [, P9 F/ J# y' qNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
  y4 P6 E3 g5 g! ^: wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
" n$ R. A$ @6 y7 h2 ?can ultimately surpass you.
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' z- T4 x& J% y, E% zPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

5 X$ \6 ]) H; G; w1 v6 z- ]WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
, b5 x' b2 W0 ~. O- Ea balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
8 [# j9 V  e; Q1 z; gof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
5 Z! t) _# K$ n. UWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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: g) R) n: c* q9 X/ |BENEFITS:
; J. A8 U  @2 G$ YWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
$ G( H) F  W- E& u4 P- fno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
+ w7 U, Z: s! [. l$ W: z: i4 tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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9 w8 Z! \! |  U/ I8 L% ]for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
% H& l1 s0 B5 oletting them know they are appreciated
0 L3 ]# z, B7 g6 u' C2 ~for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.