Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
& \# R& A3 |% A/ [. z7 A) @) _Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
& T/ Y- H! F( Q% ]* F4 \; F
: I5 [/ `, b! e; `' q/ ~permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
  Y4 ~$ U5 u% w8 n$ Qand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
$ U: O7 m2 T1 {4 }! VSome overnight travel required, including trips to
* ^$ ?( M$ {/ S, pprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
( N2 l9 {, n' T! _& W# q* d4 Z1 KTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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) M# W$ L' m# e' r9 S9 ERESPONSIBILITIES:
% ]2 e+ F/ U- [- L1 V2 ]& AThe rest of your life.
( W! ]1 N9 H5 n* u; @Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
# L6 s# X2 {, KMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
8 O/ j  ~# ~' B' L6 p3 hAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
! P( Y: |! S1 P- y( @: iand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
1 h1 [; d2 ^# P' @" v! uthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
5 a. {2 k! ^/ n: C+ d0 WMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
9 N2 ]% e' L' r. e8 }' tMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 T% s4 z2 ~9 w+ o& D% Qcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
# H) {0 Z7 j  U7 q) F+ LMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
2 T( {/ T, f/ k; r4 Y( UMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
* O8 \- c: f' ^: m. b, U: ~half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
) Q0 O, f6 l  e1 zthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
( A) Y; {6 `! ^; K0 }$ M/ \janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
$ b# m2 p$ m; H+ ^0 i/ g( sNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
9 c3 M: y9 V: A1 l  x) V1 _9 Supdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
) J8 `# s8 r' {2 g# o& rNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

. Z) D% b6 _! B8 ]9 J4 k, c3 A5 T+ dWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
+ F7 s3 I/ E7 d/ mGet this! You pay them!
$ h, A, E3 u* nOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
6 b( u# v8 C" u- qa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
7 _+ t2 r9 R) @you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
. Q# u$ d, h# g: _, Qthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

" h. z2 M* v: zfor life if you play your cards right.
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$ o. P, ?' j: ^% i** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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2 F5 K# J9 Z& X' X$ n$ G
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
5 W& S8 l8 R# P5 r0 Nfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.