Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
, L7 w) _1 G6 _0 o7 Z8 mMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
: r$ u( F6 W, a6 o5 E6 x- w: P3 NDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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3 J. m4 f( H: L; p3 c  f
( R0 C( M4 u8 g- F8 e5 AJOB DESCRIPTION:
% l8 U9 Q! U9 i5 W6 r4 oLong term, team players needed for challenging,
' Y" A: ^* U5 z5 t- {# ^
9 h9 x6 |4 b4 ~$ Lpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
4 H( f: V" B6 N: y2 hCandidates must possess excellent communication
$ y; f' B9 a4 F% O$ wand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' T1 L7 V5 ]/ }1 B+ Q3 {" Wand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
2 i5 j2 d/ N7 }! D" _endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
  H! W' t+ T' |3 g+ [! B  iTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
, R3 ]& b2 y9 Y' J1 g3 J6 N1 QThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
5 j3 s* w% A0 O+ b  w! vMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: _) y# O) ~, iin case, this time, the screams from
3 r! c. `+ f$ T  |; n0 @1 wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ ^2 C" `- ~5 ~9 IMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
: W4 y2 O7 E% e* E. l% l: n2 `Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 U9 p1 U9 V1 i: m) A' J: _coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
( B2 k" @, g8 ]8 V4 Z/ }5 ]Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* a" L2 y4 g& W  q0 w& ?Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
( ~  T, `7 l& C0 n- L3 t, ean embarrassment the next.
* U# Q. r( r% u; }/ ^, ^Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
: z* s8 e& F+ }half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
# v8 q- e0 ?, {' _- rthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
% `6 w5 _/ H! uNone.
# _1 c8 Z- l# h0 u* uYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
' Q1 }1 l* }- [$ Y$ qwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
4 M3 e" y; P1 s5 eOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
. F" p; y; A- l' p; H: L" Y# gGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
! `' j) c) T# fWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
, w( k: e: Z8 z8 Nyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
; P- b, N/ x* t0 Q9 H0 t0 pno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
4 H3 Z5 b+ e& V& [" B% D6 o  @! I. Tthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
5 a/ X5 s. T: I$ v) k4 Z9 U
for life if you play your cards right.



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0 S& P% P$ `8 _9 X: `( B** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
$ F2 t$ L8 ^2 B8 e/ [0 Wletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
  j$ F. X& r, wor forward with love
) U$ X- R" q, a7 O) |' V, K3 `to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.