Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
# L( W% V/ c" z; nMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* E$ |6 S6 V8 O6 O' Y3 ]6 ~. }) U6 `Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
) J7 H& M' l/ s& f( d7 [

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
8 d7 E: w# e- Y) XCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
+ V% J5 q! }5 V7 k$ C# C9 d' mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
* k8 j& t- K' N. Y$ tprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

5 @# L% p; W  ~# j- rRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% K- H, h0 L1 d! {% Uuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
* s/ t7 c/ v, z8 ?, ~and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 e3 l7 G- E) S% g5 ~8 z* e5 VMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
& I- L5 q/ Q: k# h1 F8 u) Csuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' U% k* J8 Q1 \' J, u. H) i$ oand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
& e7 U! q1 C9 [7 X) |, Ccoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
: w& f3 x8 ^% t. k# ~2 @/ v7 n/ ^1 ?an embarrassment the next.
% a3 T- n( P3 HMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
2 A1 I: S/ d- }: ~half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
5 C8 n7 u7 e( N# Z3 T3 iMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
4 _* v4 t) |/ w+ |Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
5 z! l0 N# S2 e9 _( q5 [. Gjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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' @+ `3 C5 q6 f9 `7 cPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
2 @& ~2 R1 M, m5 ^: d7 m! p+ W+ xYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

5 X5 `0 c. G4 Q% `WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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0 c/ @6 n0 J( MBENEFITS:
7 u0 h& R% e( JWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
! y9 B/ P. s9 L% athis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
, Q1 `! u/ W1 E, c+ n
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

! q7 K0 M$ C* J8 B# Afor life if you play your cards right.
$ h1 O% U# Z! G; ], j% i
4 t. K0 h6 Z7 W% E

6 `2 v3 J! H2 r+ f/ M$ l# ]
4 M0 R$ ?+ `$ p  s% X** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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1 s4 w( A; P3 [" M3 b3 HForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 C' F7 q! ~  }letting them know they are appreciated
& n9 a. B* \1 _% Y$ E9 Z1 Kfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
7 T+ d+ c. C2 E- n3 w) j. Lto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.