Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! c: H4 [. R& Z. w' {$ z* ?+ yDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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) u+ x8 A' a( [4 U4 iJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
7 f+ d" _2 a1 c2 H( X) n) u
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
0 o) d: ^0 K" P7 `5 uand organizational skills and be willing to work
- b1 f: n6 v- o/ J, Yvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
  N2 ]" |1 H+ p8 X/ B  w! Iprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
( i2 L  K& L2 M3 oendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
, K1 Z5 ~' D& |7 FExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
6 r/ R3 G9 Y; w7 I3 e0 V! GThe rest of your life.
) x' M( t4 o6 s% b, mMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
& N5 V& \/ w& U" R' dAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; A' I5 T4 X3 \1 o! C0 q4 k7 Xin case, this time, the screams from
8 g2 V0 _* r7 Fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
% l9 t3 Q/ X4 nMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 @  E9 c8 S; ]. v- van embarrassment the next.
. D3 N9 \* Q: X( O; \Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& K1 y3 V) b9 m% F+ o0 [* Chalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 w- o; b, v9 P7 |; L) ?( q9 jMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
5 P( v! k& y1 M9 M; R' AMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
% W0 N  ]9 J. v3 D% JResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 f6 O% G2 r+ \/ r0 {! Jjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
  c/ R; {% O2 i2 L& uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
& g1 U/ R2 Y9 S$ D. c# \7 lcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
8 a& J: g8 T# t  G' @9 rNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 V* R1 i; l7 f; p" SGet this! You pay them!
  V1 ?) g: L! d( }3 fOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
: C  v5 d* |8 v: @1 g+ M1 J- Oof the assumption that college will help them
- }6 ^! p3 W: o$ \become financially independent.
& Q& w. s6 S) o9 x: kWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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. k' N: ]  l/ k+ c9 IBENEFITS:
$ h% ?; L" p* T# U! ^+ YWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ Y2 `6 O& v- l: q2 W( ^no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
& K* c4 ?" F7 c. w9 A& ithis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
% Z+ }0 a9 a4 b) h2 S) }' m
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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1 ], H1 P6 K# V5 f3 j" y5 I** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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( N0 o& W# o% I* m. x8 w# `4 x
, U) T* X6 m/ V6 e+ W. S8 k/ XForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
+ z; _9 a3 I) a: F; jletting them know they are appreciated
5 c" G- J! f& `5 `1 i+ V/ d4 dfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
) i; q' M& z/ e9 L1 b1 {to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.