Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
; g9 J& K1 i" ^$ Z" d2 {* s. XMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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7 D! c% B1 Y& v; E' y& D  I2 VJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
. q- D8 D5 E+ d1 s) {1 v; rCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: t- q8 u3 O& b! r2 h9 E) Eand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
+ m+ X* d% B. JSome overnight travel required, including trips to
3 Z! g8 C! u5 V+ aprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
& [5 t; P9 [3 _$ j: D% K! @endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% J; o1 T7 |3 `Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
/ Y8 [! V* f! U$ h7 rThe rest of your life.
3 v" @9 p7 t9 E0 q( ]8 MMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
- ~% S  }; a- f; p0 JMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
" ]$ f% t7 R1 vAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
2 k: u+ s- x' y+ Eand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
- i1 f# Y" R- a5 d; [* T8 }Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
+ `  ?: Q) d) c8 ~3 c- osuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 T: n+ y$ V# r+ j8 A! b' A9 ~3 |and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ }' F% E% H6 a: q3 V  p: _coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
- \6 @7 [5 T1 Wan embarrassment the next.
: c  y) b0 Z1 J% B5 O( hMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
3 P! u. j3 `' D- W! A# jhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
4 x0 H) Q" C3 L7 eMust assume final, complete accountability for
+ ]% S$ e6 n+ `1 b. n( xthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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/ s9 a& S: A6 Z8 M$ _$ rPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
. }3 ]& C3 k, p2 q" e' PNone.
; y1 I0 A/ ^" [' F: A2 t9 IYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
; S5 c3 |7 a( d! J# `  swithout complaining,constantly retraining and
# t8 Q' _) }: m5 o" Kupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
: O1 C# ]. T) V8 X/ O0 Ncan ultimately surpass you.
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( z. q' U& N% YPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 s$ P/ V% J! ^1 e( ^3 hNone required, unfortunately.
# V- x2 @9 S- V& ^8 z, QOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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' y+ R0 g0 \3 T8 m8 Y6 nWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
2 e' N0 T; a$ G  k- }. Y$ ~: ]Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
6 ^4 u6 a' s# G2 e# N& |become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
" h! r6 M, C1 u. tThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
( w* [, m, i: d; c+ yyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

4 p) U/ H1 ?0 ~3 e+ C, v+ gBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ e& v) [# L/ `% gno stock options are offered,
4 `& E, k( n: L- ]this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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2 i; e( S4 r. L8 z** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
* h1 O, u; e( A2 H) |9 h+ Ufor the fabulous job they do...
' i5 ~+ W- b  ?: r( w: j1 a; _" K+ Oor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.