Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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# m; |( f) J$ i0 l0 O6 DJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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# @# l( y! A# Y) \& Y$ m4 y4 [permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
$ A+ ~' z- t/ }" T* uCandidates must possess excellent communication
5 k$ c- R0 z4 z" k% C! n! p1 g. tand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
5 \/ S1 K5 ]+ K6 K5 S% i" T6 sand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
0 _# ]7 Y- h" h  o( y, ~# [6 iSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
9 d* K8 S* V2 b* V* ^' yExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
# L$ ~: J* n3 ^& I, [4 R, y; NMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
4 {1 n- y. m8 [, ?Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
% Y& E: v3 y1 g% j( v. j# d0 Aand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. m& X% Q5 ^- {; m0 kin case, this time, the screams from
/ ^1 c$ h  w+ _0 y5 Pthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
' X" p: _" k6 }/ c3 TMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
3 I8 R4 G: b9 U- ~9 wsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
, U7 \" j& c' g  B2 w, dand stuck zippers.
4 y/ j* I) W2 wMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
. p# W, C2 e0 {4 Q3 E+ Ccoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
0 G' t+ X" @0 Q2 s- HMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
& }0 n2 d: ^" a8 |/ b/ o# VMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
8 n& B# V0 W( mMust assume final, complete accountability for
* l% Y( W7 `5 B# T0 ^, e, n# [the quality of the end product.
3 M; J1 M. Q- H) QResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
+ l/ j7 D3 E7 z) b/ f$ M1 }" zjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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% W) Q2 \; x& H& W+ _% o8 {$ BPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
$ b4 x" @; _2 rupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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; G" T  g, M1 M+ W$ P6 ]: U3 y4 QPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
5 b7 E0 v, X; L+ Z/ c7 iGet this! You pay them!
1 s% I) a, h3 d1 s2 d- z0 S  VOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
- o1 g- X: G! a" k% P5 Mbecome financially independent.
" [* F2 G  Q% TWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
. }$ y" j  P; v. K  c+ dThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
3 I! c0 x( Z$ M% Pyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
. k* F( ]- F+ s" GWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
8 E; e, Z1 k4 T6 {this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

7 I5 `2 ]( u$ z$ C2 ^, @- u3 N0 Xfor life if you play your cards right.

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8 n8 O+ s* w0 b- _3 [3 G% l' e** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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. o8 H. k- N- S9 l$ V& H: M9 |- V& v6 WForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
; ^/ _9 _) Q. m  n1 sor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.