Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
' b* v1 ]9 x6 @& u5 X# GMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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$ O" N, t' L, L+ j3 |# ]JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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/ A" L( O5 D5 R8 Upermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
; o; ~$ q9 Q; U* }7 dCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
* _7 T; @1 _" P8 cand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
/ K+ A9 T* r  y  D9 Gprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
- i3 t2 N- U. H( B, p0 w: [# Yendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
3 P; ?2 `* l% R  w) y1 LTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
. M! C- W, i& U' nThe rest of your life.
4 R/ N$ g% \5 UMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 T: n' S7 I* M: Nuntil someone needs $5.
% n9 F' Q; [0 u6 L# e( z' VMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
6 r8 C* n) i0 r* `- |and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
3 X  [: T0 v' j! Q/ S# _the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
# a& ?. \" }2 i) f, B+ D. ]Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
( T; c' t% w) a1 E% G2 s: sand stuck zippers.
, v( R( O4 W) l# bMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
/ e7 \" Z$ R4 L0 l% N" Vcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
5 B0 a, e2 U2 M1 Q1 uMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
4 m$ H! P1 Z2 ^  s0 man embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, ~2 U5 Q6 z  I" j# [4 c. Ehalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
+ P2 i9 U' H( i8 W) p& V; ethe quality of the end product.
- J; i% H3 Q1 v7 w% Q$ c3 p- OResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
: O( a) u9 y; rYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
4 e1 l. }& l- N5 ^" Z, h+ b1 Q7 ewithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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7 s0 G+ F. J& {$ ]8 r3 M7 [PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
2 T- h3 F7 E: G  @) S$ gNone required, unfortunately.
- {8 E) M) W" iOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

4 O: i5 C" ~. D) N  S+ ~$ `( JWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
; n$ M1 e# c" a, ]$ T2 SGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
& t: m% J6 T/ \% p/ a4 |of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ a- q7 i7 Q4 d. Z' x/ v2 {3 Iyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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* ^- Y7 J- d: b, i. A: `# A" Funconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

0 H4 B9 b$ g$ ?$ Bfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



  |( c0 i, o  n8 t) Y/ fForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
0 p& ?. K" K# B) N" y5 W6 D+ fletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
4 T! G8 [6 m. k$ m9 rto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.