 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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) L% X0 Q4 I3 l3 }3 m8 F4 KMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 N$ g) X4 c* g1 RDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa2 R Z9 l( r5 d) M- g6 c7 B) D
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& h6 X/ M+ c7 Q5 L% _JOB DESCRIPTION:# s2 J2 g9 e' W) ~7 |' l, A$ P5 k: r
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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( H% m. a- ?# n7 [2 i" f/ \permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
# a; P3 D7 p: n; a' G. R' TCandidates must possess excellent communication . x' ?! q' s9 [# _: W o% Y/ v
and organizational skills and be willing to work 3 Y; ~9 d( ^: y* o3 T7 Y% y- S) B
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends * ]9 q( }- z' X+ d/ _6 D
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
5 v3 b& J5 p, o8 x' m( n9 J- B( {Some overnight travel required, including trips to " N& Y3 Z7 U9 Q( E6 y; Z1 _8 h
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
* P$ ?* X. q6 K6 Y, {$ [6 `2 X" j/ lendless sports tournaments in far away cities! ; i' M* }. i& W
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
& S5 ^3 v/ j+ }9 `Extensive courier duties also required.
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* f6 s: g1 o! W4 i2 D' URESPONSIBILITIES:
0 I% K( `: ?. _# D& n. b7 r; mThe rest of your life.
2 `: q7 o" G" S/ f( ~5 |% T1 c+ iMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
+ C8 d4 j2 A/ Y% ?1 k2 K: ^until someone needs $5. ( T+ e# N2 r& _
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. & b b: F. u; j1 r! g
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" t5 d3 p2 S/ T0 Q6 vand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat & }$ o$ C+ t5 q8 u' T& m
in case, this time, the screams from . Z% l$ d6 _5 d: U9 u' T7 o& L
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. # q. K }3 a6 W/ T0 l* J6 r1 b. l% D
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 A1 \" _ P* f: v# G, y0 fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets * g" x- s' X( W
and stuck zippers.
0 u+ V. K2 D& I3 i& J3 ?Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and : ~" W2 J D. ^. w5 |2 K4 C! V
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
/ c+ l z# Q; lMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. - V6 p6 c/ |+ M
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, ( t) _" k! ^1 Y' a
an embarrassment the next. 2 g: b+ |+ R+ Y; q2 h0 e
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
1 J5 s$ C& W; D8 ?- z# K, thalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. & B8 z' N% [/ i9 C
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. " L- l4 ~2 Y- I
Must assume final, complete accountability for
. \" U9 t, p& wthe quality of the end product.
( G7 |. o* B, K& R$ S0 m; `Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and : C: A9 w2 x5 S* ?2 z
janitorial work throughout the facility. # A6 D7 I' l( b9 Z
9 W9 N" {/ L/ f4 n$ uPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:% a X4 d. i. ?" }. G* G! r" [
None. / [$ s! ]1 B5 h. \! f
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, # q: e- e L" n8 n/ [+ D C
without complaining,constantly retraining and
1 ^9 O# d/ N8 C; Z5 Iupdating your skills, so that those in your charge ! h& r5 v( `6 F0 M
can ultimately surpass you.5 q+ p" |* c8 i8 P
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: # b" ]. [) |& W* ?9 ~/ `4 {, t
None required, unfortunately.
! x: M& O/ U% e2 v# ~' p AOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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4 ` e3 d2 N* ^WAGES AND COMPENSATION: . t9 V( e3 V W7 [# \
Get this! You pay them!
" X3 \/ |- f E( b* EOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
; p9 Z P6 V; s2 ]" U' Pa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
v" O/ {+ I q5 h2 w# |7 ^of the assumption that college will help them
# r4 m8 X+ q( p$ }- S% V" Wbecome financially independent.
; I8 c9 p# Y& N: p9 n) i: M SWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 ` p. @4 ?& e, dThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
& N' t# |' z1 k" r9 d2 Z, i, tyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 8 C7 s3 Y8 d/ v7 ~- Y! c
1 {5 B; w" h( T) ~6 E( BBENEFITS:
1 H; T" B$ m! z8 _ p- NWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, ; `3 ^+ K& ?6 @3 \+ a
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 M1 z# O% K2 D: xno stock options are offered,0 s, u$ I F H* I6 M/ x
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, 5 {* W. W/ W/ C' H# s- Q
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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( o. s3 Q; r: D. k+ @2 ^1 B% Qfor life if you play your cards right.. }, S( D7 M0 P- L z
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **- P* g# P) h& f
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, ' ?) @1 h* z* A
letting them know they are appreciated # g4 g5 `* U. n8 {
for the fabulous job they do...
- B1 `* R! Z) }! w: a2 G, d/ Q/ Nor forward with love ! {- Y( J' v0 h7 }" A
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.% O1 z* G: x1 V& i" }
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
