Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
  e4 |/ z% l* k4 `  I1 FMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
( H' A0 C8 n9 k. d4 mDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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. i, c% ?3 \2 Q( U( z: x( n2 IJOB DESCRIPTION:
4 t7 |9 z2 f, pLong term, team players needed for challenging,

* P/ q8 Z0 h! x2 G  ?permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
3 u* N1 y6 V4 U# c' s: f; t, HCandidates must possess excellent communication
2 G% \6 t* @4 G# r. S. U' e# nand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
: E. R5 ]& x. w) C! F- Vand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
7 C5 B9 a# p9 \8 X1 \Extensive courier duties also required.
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+ v& s0 O6 `1 `, V9 QRESPONSIBILITIES:
2 N( `$ r% y0 fThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
4 ~, {, X8 [7 O* `* m1 n7 LMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. U" o- s" e8 e- Q9 Y2 mAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
: ~' C( {* z4 a: z9 `in case, this time, the screams from
& M! b# e$ \7 U9 \6 d5 p4 k& athe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
" j" k2 G$ n) csuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
" Z: ]2 s- t" m& E) s) aMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
( A/ ^5 A6 @1 R0 ean embarrassment the next.
4 a4 ?1 _6 {4 D9 T# WMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
  M* I* _- n& D+ P, J. |& v' [( shalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
/ E8 |2 C. m0 Z+ Q: g* g8 Y) BMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
3 }+ F; U9 f8 a$ X  w" C* \Must assume final, complete accountability for
$ N8 g0 M9 B: `% Uthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
3 p9 r9 ^7 k- J7 j4 l( g0 ajanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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9 w; i# f& j) U* A, K5 kPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
9 s9 l) G( ]. F2 i( ]7 GNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
+ M8 u7 ~0 u4 a  iwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
8 S6 Z& M# |, tupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
0 Q) R7 k/ e& ?2 Q' }( q' Q7 FOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
5 p8 |/ b, G' K# f0 C, j7 Ua balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
5 O- a$ e7 ?, k. l. s6 kbecome financially independent.
6 g. Z- \: J& {When you die, you give them whatever is left.
' K, o5 x% |$ S3 XThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
' k4 B6 E2 r0 X3 Z3 p2 c+ Z0 cno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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. ^, s5 k" D3 p7 N8 y' u& ^unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, _5 n: k$ m: @* R. uletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.