Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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+ c1 i: x) H0 ?  WJOB DESCRIPTION:
. g( W4 S; a* Q2 b& vLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
5 h9 ?& w1 J- z6 T9 N% s, k5 uand organizational skills and be willing to work
0 [2 C! B! I4 V2 Q) Fvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& t3 U8 |1 @4 `  HSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
6 \* x& t" o$ a+ dendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
3 P; u+ R  r2 E; ^5 h: `/ sTravel expenses not reimbursed.
( ]# F; w+ j8 E1 t+ XExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 s2 X: A) l) F' }% Y3 }+ [& G! wuntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
. p' B& o- q4 Q4 ~0 R( B) s3 d* DAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
, c, a) `. X5 x/ J9 b* S0 s8 Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 c+ ~$ |" [1 n$ b  ]9 Fin case, this time, the screams from
) m/ ?- v: X2 |0 b) K' ethe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' f! L( z( A6 B2 F* N+ F- W/ esuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
# ~, L4 j) p. G& B! I8 G  UMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 G1 E" h' P; x- @Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
% y% L) x: x4 g/ R& j% G+ nMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
" n! Y/ ^( e* Y2 pan embarrassment the next.
  E5 J3 X+ d. ~1 R; ~Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
  E2 t) J8 d) [2 n- h4 r7 T+ JMust assume final, complete accountability for
, u7 w2 W: u: C, R: Athe quality of the end product.
' y) R1 q# ]% h2 x+ ?9 oResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
* ^4 \4 T% e' ijanitorial work  throughout the facility.

3 H  y5 Q7 k" LPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
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+ e  F5 L; ], {Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" o! j" C! a  m0 }/ A) mNone required, unfortunately.
( J6 |5 {! O$ r0 QOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
! D# x3 |6 O1 a# m. c2 r) t( {$ TOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
' b7 U* h2 B# |become financially independent.
1 b/ d) D2 S$ e4 Z" vWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

+ U! H7 h' L3 |2 Y! h# pBENEFITS:
( W) q) _4 l0 K0 n- B$ mWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
. c2 B1 h6 ~- J$ [1 j  j; pno stock options are offered,
/ J. e; B; T1 e' q* vthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

* g" ~8 W# F, F1 H: ~7 [0 tunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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  J' j. }+ {0 y' }& Mfor life if you play your cards right.
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/ p7 i& @$ @* W** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
1 p; o% v. ?# x8 f, kletting them know they are appreciated
5 _2 A' V7 j% e5 r$ q( rfor the fabulous job they do...
6 @! R2 @5 B0 G+ y* i6 N8 U% ~or forward with love
; t) k, _. R- }7 d  p6 ^, ]to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.