Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
, S8 ?2 I0 m+ j% ~/ ~1 r. q' H$ SMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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. ]1 p' ~. d) X+ b( WJOB DESCRIPTION:
1 M  Z$ V8 W$ U  TLong term, team players needed for challenging,
" |+ C! F0 @+ v  v1 \, Q, e( E
  r$ f' v. F" k1 Ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
- i; O; `/ e5 q# x: B1 cprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% X$ Z9 R$ C9 G+ q+ aTravel expenses not reimbursed.
0 e% u' [( u$ t! ZExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
, w( y+ q! A6 \0 T4 v3 t- [& g/ }The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% P! }: t  A* j. G+ u' d; V3 uuntil someone needs $5.
  U2 o1 D* f+ a) M: JMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
9 L- a+ T/ h3 j7 lcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
  i2 l' }; U: |) F! ?; rMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
2 A2 y! O/ _1 v2 t0 \# J8 _Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
. z% `2 q$ ~( N, j7 oResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
1 d4 m; r( q3 K+ @None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 b1 H, z' S# ?; ywithout complaining,constantly retraining and
$ _! H) X; N) B2 R' T2 Cupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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0 |6 z" ^0 r9 SPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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, M" [! F' K$ a5 d6 ]( DWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
2 g+ q0 I: d, }6 @2 L* R: ~# L1 a* \Get this! You pay them!
' W0 S+ N* S2 b6 _! I+ d2 A- fOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
6 H2 ~8 ^- g5 w# \/ ]' B8 C1 dbecome financially independent.
2 E! V$ n/ F+ R0 p& d$ ]0 lWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
# B+ u$ p) W" S! V' vThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
6 z' R7 }0 K0 ]2 `. _+ yyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

( a/ |; F( D8 k5 S  D, _1 Lfor life if you play your cards right.


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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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, C! |7 k% X* }' u" ?% aForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 X& R: v3 z/ ?% Z4 f' H: @2 {9 t0 cletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
) z5 T  z2 O  v# d3 O# tor forward with love
$ Z- q5 w) K+ W$ |5 F( A- Wto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.