Crazy English! Zt

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3 f. O- o) |1 n# d" B- x/ Q! J1 oCrazy English!
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, y$ a1 ^  W/ [& j2 OWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

- t+ w3 ?! z1 u* \4 vYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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# P/ }. E$ W! D* P2 SIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

2 Q& K, d0 E/ rIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

! ]$ N  M! g( ]" q3 m' x2 E) PThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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$ K$ r# N* L$ @( _: _& t* x4 Z0 JWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

+ U) Y' \  q1 R( Z* `; n2 RThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let's face it, English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

# m' @) W9 p" n, i' JIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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6 C8 L# {( n$ c9 \, hIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

+ A( K. ^7 j/ x" u) v- lShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

) o; G& u  ]+ H; z, X; x+ |; k) N# cHave noses that run and feet that smell?

4 A+ E0 P. n7 P, l0 eHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
& f5 a8 X( d0 w! v# _  BHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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/ }: P8 B1 s3 }Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane