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Crazy English! Zt

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发表于 2005-4-25 10:55 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
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ZT
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3 f. O- o) |1 n# d" B- x/ Q! J1 oCrazy English!
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, y$ a1 ^  W/ [& j2 OWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.$ y' t# K4 o5 ?% r' U; e1 a9 {
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One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.6 c, z2 q6 Z# Y( b4 M

- t+ w3 ?! z1 u* \4 vYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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# P/ }. E$ W! D* P2 SIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?1 j7 i3 ~: T0 e# e+ Y

2 Q& K, d0 E/ rIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?3 W) C5 m& ^2 B

! ]$ N  M! g( ]" q3 m' x2 E) PThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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$ K$ r# N* L$ @( _: _& t* x4 Z0 JWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.. o1 ~6 u" p2 R; R0 X  w. S+ O8 W

+ U) Y' \  q1 R( Z* `; n2 RThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.7 r7 F/ ]; o, \( K/ W
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Let's face it, English is a crazy language!8 r, c0 n# L: A& \2 m: a
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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?6 n0 F8 o. K. y- I; D% d

# m' @) W9 p" n, i' JIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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6 C8 L# {( n$ c9 \, hIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?1 Z  ?' d$ h) n0 T  N: r

+ A( K. ^7 j/ x" u) v- lShip by truck and send cargo by ship?* V( }# T# ~" f) e- Y1 h

) o; G& u  ]+ H; z, X; x+ |; k) N# cHave noses that run and feet that smell?3 E. K/ l0 b- k9 n% M# v' R

4 A+ E0 P. n7 P, l0 eHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?; P1 Q5 v9 f* V
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
& f5 a8 X( d0 w! v# _  BHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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/ }: P8 B1 s3 }Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane
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