Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!

+ [# l7 r. \8 ^( W9 ]3 |" k1 IWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

+ ~, H  X- t; Q2 \1 _You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

% {$ \, u& p) W8 C4 o# y2 ~( EIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

2 L5 o) L4 ]. V: DThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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; ^  t$ Q! N! X/ L* sWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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+ j  _: b7 }& w$ K8 nThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

2 x, U$ @% Q0 \3 gAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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  ]+ W; }& Y. s: E7 D% }Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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4 d9 J) s  c# n9 ]) P8 eIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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& U4 }# F- y3 ^% k% G. {: s  E/ {If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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  Z/ u! i/ }7 OIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

; l2 w1 d6 Z& m& L2 g" v* P8 yYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane