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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol# q# G8 p6 G V8 `+ }: V' K
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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# l$ v* v, K: b8 V% o1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.1 K( m; U" T$ I% _% N) a& l
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.' N' {0 e& S% @$ r5 p# Q6 |4 d
/ ?3 \* v8 B/ V+ V% O/ _5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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9 j: M. v! M! ~+ F1 ?6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department./ I) o* o" Q/ k# k
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask" u6 Z) i- d* n8 a4 b4 s
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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7 o2 X$ Q; z, A* m$ l9 L f4 @, }* Z9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose." ^7 ~) }7 P* f3 j5 b
4 v& v' a& F. M+ h10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.! Q* K3 g" K! i
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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! U; K z3 ?7 f& d8 H/ H12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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& `8 P) y3 H5 Q. ^( E13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" D: ~( w% b" `1 B- G7 z2 p. i7 _
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And; last, but not least!) s$ ~) u6 Y* {9 A* q
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
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发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
