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; @+ Q6 d. M% b3 J+ ACEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
: V7 {% h5 y' I% ~2 [CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer. 2 v1 {1 D2 [( }+ _' A
" D. y. t: \ S2 Z- N7 @3 f; CBULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
. C! q2 n' p a- k& M; d# i5 IBEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
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VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
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2 |! I. h$ ~4 y% J6 I5 xP/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
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& g8 e2 A: s( v+ h4 }BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
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STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. / E$ f& b4 D1 E: z- Z7 s% ^) q! d
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STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.: q4 [1 F, ]7 _9 E3 W
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STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
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2 b# U d% @3 i- Z. o% {8 VFINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
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% W [7 ^0 W* i& n' IMARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks. + o e7 `! p/ O' ?* L
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CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
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2 |& c" U" y$ hYAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
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& A0 @" @+ J. k, z& [6 ]WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share., d2 f+ v Y9 n* N" |4 S
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INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
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0 L& e/ Y- R! O3 aPROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.3 z+ f: P- E* G7 H: L$ k
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: \) f2 Z# p; [9 }: \2 ^If you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you would have $49 left.
$ B4 s5 x) \3 |/ X- Y! }6 aWith Fannie Mae, you would have $2.50 left of the original $1,000.* m. c5 n6 ~/ }1 `* \
With AIG, you would have less than $15 left.
, j9 R" G' v" RBut, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drunk all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214 cash. 0 P1 b+ l% A+ j7 I2 F
Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
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( g4 S+ v* x7 l- |8 ~3 l) F1 vWhat is the difference between a Wall Street Stockbroker and a pigeon?
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$ e& [% C( E( l! i, S5 F0 j( V! a A pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common... . m% O( |# p: v. D4 V5 r! l ]
% X. c" v% D& [+ E8 K& P# X8 k ...they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-22 15:26
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