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Newfie Joke

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发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
: H4 G7 R  F/ w1 K( flong flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
  O* o0 j8 Y6 A; Pthat he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
# g8 H" M# a9 E! vthe newfie would like to play a fun game.
9 ~- U; }1 e' O+ t+ F  
0 L/ Y% c" t' `" T& V! P4 R The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so6 p4 ^& n, U  L# Y
he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The3 G! P. N: q5 }0 r
lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I' u; E' p2 x% J0 \7 n# f6 M7 W
ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,
: T& J- ?* ]9 {8 pyou pay me only $5. 3 ~. ]' K3 ]+ y+ G) c8 q
% X. B6 V$ R8 V' I4 c
You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I
, i  N1 Q# v9 e8 P, f will pay you $500. : @3 Y$ T; M" M' H

& K! t3 P7 D! I. U! z- u This catches the newfie's attention and to keep/ i- y0 o6 C9 N6 r6 d1 n( e
the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. * X, F5 r7 d9 O3 @
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The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's' P4 `4 I& {" n$ B3 Q  ]( \1 ^! j
the distance from The Earth to the Moon?' - ~5 @! i. f& P7 M/ G

, G/ O) D8 T5 d! e8 j+ J% S# H* Q" lThe newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his
, ^  t- P0 }# K" W) e" T; hpocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the
( X/ u+ k; k- `" tlawyer. 5 M% ?5 X( {! Q/ K2 w' `

' _* P% V% i! K: O6 s( SNow, it's the newfie's turn.' J4 s) |1 L- o3 V  J& m% z! _  f6 g

0 T1 I6 Z) r$ \He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with
5 Z6 H  Q5 \& ]4 H, P, F8 p9 Mthree legs, and comes down with four?' 5 F* n4 A& j; z' A* l0 X3 h3 [( ?# y

) ?0 M$ q' F. `* m; IThe lawyer uses his laptop and searches all
/ P. }2 n$ b7 j  j5 b5 creferences he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all
1 o( P$ z9 N/ G  C+ d' J6 b- _the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour
- d* Y/ Z; Q: iof searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and: C6 V9 A7 f" g! x
hands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right
8 v5 x2 V6 L; Y$ Z( D) T/ Uback to sleep. 8 B) U  b4 U' @* {: i

9 x$ b* g. h5 }1 x, D: D) R# SThe lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He
2 A( {/ a- K( \( Xwakes the newfie up and asks,   B  f. l; f' ^

8 }  l. t: c5 J" X+ A7 B- a; R1 C'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and+ {7 R2 Q6 B+ b) m  }9 r: j* Y" L
comes down with four?' ' K/ ]3 I5 n6 T7 x' ^5 x" v3 J( G% J
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The newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5
' B/ Z2 N. u& @- u+ t1 aand goes back to sleep.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!6 @! M7 H  ]' Y+ ^$ R
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Lawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
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发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
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发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the- x0 |' F7 i( z7 `
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>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two
: Z3 E& |6 G% L, ]0 w>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason
5 P5 z( f: C+ M5 k# u>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the
$ C' h5 m: H, S0 k! i>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published,
; d& W# `- p1 g>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct
: {) m0 ~9 _' A) L0 ^, S
$ b1 |/ M) j/ h! X+ C+ M>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research
, w( d8 K( \% m* }>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a - `! H7 B# H" y. Z  O
>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more
& s+ r% x. n- t>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released,
) _6 S7 S6 P$ _7 f# [>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three+ z  T0 A- x5 n: T3 Y
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>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's & k  L* K8 r" Q1 I( `+ i4 P& C' Q
>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the * O$ P/ b& @  f
>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand
1 ^" y' s3 ^' J9 e+ g$ }>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
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发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
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发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表 2 X" S+ v- P5 ]4 B
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a. y) o: g- [% j  v4 f5 G
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
7 L6 p' K, ]0 }/ ~that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
& v' v+ G3 X, uthe newfie would l ...

' C, R' S: ^  `& q5 W  u; s( Y& k$ |+ @- I

* c  r0 p( z" ^5 ^9 Q! Q好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
" w1 K7 X" H' }“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,# u) P% m: I  {1 L2 r3 h, z
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
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发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
8 f5 Q2 g: o% A$ }0 E! j% c9 m. O加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
9 q# L) e1 V7 K* C4 e0 P
真博学,偶像啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表
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3 y7 F- K- Y/ d& b- Z; v$ Z  z5 Z
- q& Y$ l7 {7 g$ K
* }$ U7 R# ]  g9 d" X3 {8 Z$ a好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
2 C' ~3 L" _; v  V- j) R& F% V“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
7 P1 ~: N+ d! Q5 t' T! [好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
7 S1 t: I9 K& B. Y! |" w
真聪明,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 , l, A7 Z  `; ^

* \* S' ^4 D/ C( s, c% V9 s真聪明,偶像啊

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全盘接受一下。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表
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, H, G3 G: z4 M# ^- s. x+ ~4 @& c2 A+ `% E( ^$ z* q
全盘接受一下。
  q3 Q! R  y' m
真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表
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3 p" J9 n2 @; L  y真虚怀若谷,偶像啊

  p( b2 |" x" {7 \+ |$ L+ b, U1 X7 ]" W& l/ a, L

* i1 j$ x9 O5 C8 y9 E9 R# m2 w别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表 : H) ~# r3 ]  T/ b  K- r% o% M

. J5 ]) d* M' k9 k# o7 R' j8 f) K4 f: W, H
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别把我往坏路上领啊。
$ y& ^2 t+ b" x
你已经在路上了
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发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
2 e# R6 J+ n" R! v加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.

6 y2 r( R( @2 h0 I多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
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发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 7 l: I, e: }. H+ ?, @/ F7 a9 X

1 D' m6 f1 b: Q+ M9 R真博学,偶像啊。

' O! y0 |, h* g% Y9 N. @5 z大学教授哦,能不剥削?
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发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表 ! g9 j" U! U- B5 `) _
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大学教授哦,能不剥削?
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她是大学教瘦?
" e7 }% K' s( q+ W3 d# u大学教胖还差不多
+ M& e, q2 k# v' H3 z2 x( g她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
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发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
' `  @2 C: B1 s' |! C+ f) c) L4 m9 ^/ H紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
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说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表 * Q" E2 L* @5 r9 O% S" e
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
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哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
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