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Newfie Joke

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发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
5 g8 Y4 @) N- k6 f4 a3 \8 Rlong flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb  H$ |8 ]- }( N+ ^! p1 \. i' Y; v
that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
: p' a& }$ P9 V* E2 f9 S* ]the newfie would like to play a fun game. 7 |; y  g6 C" s, ?6 a2 N# S
  $ b! e8 b9 A( A$ ]! p
The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so* U" c4 D" G9 y* G6 D6 o, f1 {& @' i
he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The' n* d- s) F3 t0 g3 I* ~8 ], j! ?
lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I- ~' B2 D- l  k7 y8 d
ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,! ?6 J0 \; b- c3 a4 k' b/ Y5 X0 e
you pay me only $5. 0 Z3 G) K8 e% `+ V2 b
0 [+ K1 A' S6 n6 k) a. S- N, R5 x
You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I
6 s) T  q) h% ^4 k will pay you $500. ) C6 D. o7 B0 C1 h) H

6 v1 `# ]  ?; s) G/ Z) j This catches the newfie's attention and to keep
5 X3 z: F3 c# ~( U8 Y3 [  `$ Q( C# Bthe lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
! V' C( e5 @! N! i
% ~) r9 Q$ V" ]; OThe lawyer asks the first question. 'What's
6 J& X) ^5 q4 z3 t  Q, dthe distance from The Earth to the Moon?' ( a# b" J& r$ N3 ^. `

  c3 `3 U8 L* X1 k* w% n( w8 N. hThe newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his
& c# ^/ G5 }* s3 O; a$ A( Kpocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the8 A3 V+ Y' C9 ?: q. A
lawyer. + u4 g+ x& I  z- d- e

7 Z: u/ I: ~1 q7 |7 v! jNow, it's the newfie's turn.  a. [# H1 w* i- h
2 J1 p5 o0 S% l) A& b
He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with
7 P& D# I- h) a' ], f4 w6 }0 mthree legs, and comes down with four?' 1 |! f  e; l$ K- ^2 u

! q' O- _, f. E" }, RThe lawyer uses his laptop and searches all
  ^8 P1 `5 A8 ?( Y6 Treferences he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all% f# W' `0 S  G. w' g' ]# V* M% l
the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour  ]  u! {$ \8 R" h* [
of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and' s: o" N( h6 ~5 Z, D4 }2 k
hands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right
. d' k* d  o+ x' Eback to sleep. % N; }  q/ u$ n6 I4 P. C. k
+ c- o( i) B, B/ B( G
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He6 L* u" V* M# N& {
wakes the newfie up and asks, 5 s/ s* O3 K* P$ V, G8 B5 T
2 p/ C9 P! S( q5 g0 c1 J
'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and/ _* J9 M, @! Q. E. L
comes down with four?' 2 \- T$ D# M0 K# [! K2 C

$ P! e3 u$ H- q6 o: L" c( b8 Z  p2 lThe newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5, J& Y9 s" r( S" d3 O+ J2 ^
and goes back to sleep.2 H+ ^# B+ l- V7 i/ U

- p1 A* S, D& L, V
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!
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& w! L& k# h$ l7 W3 ~( `; Y! fLawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
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发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the
. `: Y6 m0 h) T# e8 E' e+ p7 @
7 z" r& h/ _5 h>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two
3 t7 R8 H" x9 N( }7 e' }>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason
0 v# \; A9 {* z' o>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the 3 P2 P: _8 ?9 @
>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, . ^/ V, W0 x' O' ^
>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct
) n, M% x7 I" O/ K- j  p
8 n' p; N8 O1 S' t) K3 T>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research 6 N# B1 v+ d- E5 d' t1 r
>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a
- N5 T' n- C  U+ J0 O- P9 Q+ T# }" H>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more
1 |0 U- V$ a) y, F9 O/ }' K5 o1 ^>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released,
; u6 f' h: I3 q& u( o, {>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three8 T% Y' X1 x+ v* J5 q
# v' L8 |; r% I1 ]6 C! a. E( s* G( {
>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's $ b2 h: a" ?* u! b3 Q0 I, y1 p
>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the
) @  n/ f  }" Y4 w; i  t, I>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand 7 K) ^$ e. e2 @
>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
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发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表 / g% s/ r8 b" g+ g0 D( R
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a' w$ d7 f1 a& v- e8 C
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
9 S$ j* x5 T7 |  kthat he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
) s+ }) S1 O9 k/ e! Gthe newfie would l ...

$ \. d" y. v, _" S" u# G) U  L3 B! Z% O

4 ~9 b- T0 `# {) p" D7 _* V/ I好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
$ A/ @5 P9 X2 C1 S7 @2 N“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
& Y. O1 ]. \+ V0 \" P好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
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发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表 0 B4 t' D/ S( d0 |. l  z! K
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.

4 b1 p( r& T9 L3 }真博学,偶像啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表
# M! ]! C+ Q5 e; h" z
8 ]5 t2 |4 g$ d% \* `
# V$ o, y4 @8 P! _) i, Y# i: l% X" e$ K' \. [3 e6 V
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:# h4 A$ s3 x. n" V: @7 P5 Q
“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,- o1 r6 I+ \* ^. ]) I$ s: V% J$ U
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。

6 K2 T4 D% z( N; Y$ F真聪明,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 % C7 s8 q/ A+ k) d/ p

# W4 L' H* _. }: }9 F真聪明,偶像啊
! H6 X% V: P5 p

' Q, H4 A1 F$ t+ l全盘接受一下。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表
  H/ Z5 R8 |# b: _. k- e* \5 X& {* M# p# Q9 |2 d' O
( z) ]- o* N3 r4 |: G; K3 K& k
全盘接受一下。

2 S; q2 u' ^1 n9 |真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表
7 E7 c# E7 ^( k* ]$ `" Y
7 p- ^  {& u1 ]8 R7 y真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
) F' t: Z' y$ F6 h

  x9 @0 j) ~: u$ d" V' s  `
1 V$ p' i+ a: s" w# W# V别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表 7 y6 W) @9 {! F: ~

& `0 K7 I. N" H7 r( x1 P5 }9 g$ ~2 \" U: y4 X: j! e* ^0 G

9 H8 h- w+ e! r0 P4 C: z" D别把我往坏路上领啊。
8 z) L6 c: ?% T+ H/ [4 L# E
你已经在路上了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
* ]+ |+ k( C' F/ x" t3 r加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
& g5 \% }7 g6 X. x% b7 H3 p) w
多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 2 _3 B9 M9 Z2 {, `5 w. m& b; E
' I% x9 E  I8 w0 O  J
真博学,偶像啊。
* b# h- O5 ~8 @3 G$ _5 `! V
大学教授哦,能不剥削?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表 ! U+ |% e1 }. n

! `8 o3 d: n; S/ M! W大学教授哦,能不剥削?
1 V( |# L' G6 X3 w( M
她是大学教瘦?$ K$ w, y9 P0 `1 e0 A
大学教胖还差不多
" `7 G0 x# G5 N# ?1 o; b4 ]3 F7 o她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
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发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
/ H. B- @# Q/ G5 f0 w  ]紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
& `6 x  {# y$ _5 D; y4 w" H. M1 h! S
说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表 # Q3 u" J" w: H1 v% U. ?2 }8 B
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
' l3 x* T$ U3 e' e

5 k2 u9 t; z# d" K$ X+ [* O8 w哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
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