Never Say to a Cop:

OliveOil

NEVER SAY TO A COP:
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7 d. j$ B7 b1 @. C9 n1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
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( ~$ g/ W0 Y' T2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
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$ K+ ^1 Y8 J* S3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
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5 t4 l. Y& A9 u, `+ j4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
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1 k6 h/ t0 M3 T5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

4 D3 T/ ?: G4 H8 o8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
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6 \) @" C" G) `( f! A+ _8 i10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
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9 z$ C0 F0 N0 e& _) [9 w" ]11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
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9 D( x) V4 r6 p  d% \& K0 j3 T12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"