Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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# k1 O) _/ {- [# ]0 i> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
1 Y" m0 r$ ~; i8 e* L( z  I> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> > > >little TONY.
, S. x8 r: q& F; x2 l2 J* Q> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
>thinking."
> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
7 ]2 D/ T1 H2 I+ B4 _> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
. h; e+ X3 T! S! N> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
>
4 l4 p' q/ @* j( `> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
>cream.
, e7 c) r( \7 ^% {> > > >Which one is married?"
$ G2 x$ X: Z' O0 b> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
% s# y$ P+ w) r9 d2 {# P: j! W> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
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7 j( k6 ^3 r7 i2 c1 A> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
> > > >
* z6 P. t9 n! G3 b2 p, f> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
> > > >"That's what I said!"
> > > >
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" e' T7 @9 z4 h. x: W( t> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
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> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
2 q( A8 h" |/ E2 H$ E" a> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
> > > >
> > > >
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9 Y; n, k. J6 t9 W, w, b0 g3 t> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
" Y( i' H' v! S# T( x" ^  M, M. ]> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
  Z! W5 k6 K0 v- k> > > >piss!!"
) n# a3 `! g; c- u! _; ^> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
# ^: t' o+ j9 v( q6 s& ~* w( }> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
( A7 b# q# e: ~- s' h1 ~5 V> > > >allow
. ]! h/ A" x  h# M> > > >you to go."
% q0 U0 S5 J9 V( V* |: {1 Q> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
+ z$ C5 J4 w9 ^- ?* e1 u> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
, _# V! j% f- i) [4 X# t> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
# F4 F' B, l) E+ H* u' L> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
3 b; Y, r% m# M4 B2 W5 E" p> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
) o' C. _3 O; ~$ A* l" F4 {> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
' z" y) q3 z/ O$ m; e> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
/ S+ a, a2 y* X% Z5 f  ^! O) M> > > >beautifully."
> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
' O- m' D) @2 s% B" r: ?> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
> > > >
> > > >
+ F2 \" K2 k0 p' A> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
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6 `( A' X3 l7 g+ D. X$ U  d> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
2 D0 D2 x  w; f) m  O> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
4 j+ S+ ~4 U% A. x' j; b0 T$ v> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
: n1 C$ A) u! |+ Z' {; ]3 h, }> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business