Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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0 m' d) ]" X1 a> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> > > >little TONY.
. z2 f# x/ q0 l; p7 i* \> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
. F3 ]; S- e; G& \2 c1 M7 d> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
  J$ y* S7 {* K  N>thinking."
( ]5 D! h. l9 N, e5 ?; U> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
+ B8 U% A4 n& h) c> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
# {5 U  o& [- s>
> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
>cream.
> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
. V0 p1 |4 E# M! N- u> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
; l: W$ l( S1 T4 Y, p> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
# q) g  Y! f; q/ g+ N! F1 [" r> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
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. [; h& A  m+ d1 V1 v> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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, H  e0 V2 m) u& ]> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
4 L! B( |9 j, j3 Q" l> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
+ M( n  t% n; G1 W> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
> > > >"That's what I said!"
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> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
3 s3 ]+ \; j0 t> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
2 ]9 C6 O5 z( A& V4 R7 T, K> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
" C4 l& i9 Y  d, y4 `3 M$ j> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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+ p! ?- y  R8 t2 j3 [> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
: O0 S+ E/ o: r- Q, i, q> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
6 R+ _/ [/ ^% X' L! l  w: a3 ]1 T* f> > > >piss!!"
1 S0 V' O* I# G- E> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
) @: q9 d  K, I! G! k+ T- n) H# z> > > >allow
8 \+ J/ A9 L/ ?+ m. `% A7 l> > > >you to go."
> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
* d: t" i0 {  c! _- |> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
4 ~9 D5 X, s$ v4 W$ J! ]> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
2 b* c& `. q8 o. A& D) H  M> > > >same sentence twice.
- @8 D7 e8 g! x5 w> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
7 T3 Y  T: w9 L* z> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
, ^. A& ]. a9 R3 x% g> > > >beautifully."
0 q; l" K1 i: d, I' }> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
9 X* a/ M+ S: G- U4 `> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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' H& u- N1 y" t, L4 O7 e! p> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
1 G4 q% y! m8 \8 s> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
4 s# m: c8 f7 X0 X' O% R! S> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
' \# A5 W* ?* P% R> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business