 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.7 p2 G. {3 C4 |1 h7 B# ]# g
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. & X8 C5 n D, m7 g8 u0 e0 W& N
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.# }. L G7 `2 K# o2 @1 y, \* b
( n, l. j: ^* P; uLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 0 h8 G! m7 ]( a) H
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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( B) R+ A3 z6 \( @+ w- FGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. * r3 Q' i4 M/ z0 `
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 7 x" Z2 M4 ^; o' l: ]
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.) l- H: G) d* a
2 T* x& H' p& NCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.." p/ }4 x5 c4 @# Z& }- j; {5 ~: N
8 [5 \. Q, W; P- bWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. - e4 O1 d g. `$ R
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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6 k: g8 ~* g% m4 D/ Y# f% o6 V0 QShave armpits and legs.9 \6 [$ M; D+ c% D( z8 w, V4 F
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Turn off shower.7 p- t+ A& f$ L& c
" v: p0 ^7 H# @Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. A; ]& I& P0 D
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ) R, A/ F# u3 u" i- {
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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) s8 X! P4 n% T2 a: l. d: M# E% k: BHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ' e5 R' a9 m$ j2 @& L( z% \
1 s. T. `6 p) _- U$ j8 i* sTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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`+ ~* K) c* P; q5 m8 K+ h6 YWalk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. - N( k; F% O- g
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. / Z! `7 {4 [! h3 f
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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- U; O1 `# ~. q& W) X4 s9 ^Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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: z/ C6 S3 P1 c3 }! R- tFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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! V. X H( H0 K d) ]Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. # }6 ^# d( V7 s$ y4 Y
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 8 g3 `. I P" k, L
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! I9 j1 k/ A! M! O2 _% x7 Q1 x7 p2 PRinse off and get out of shower. % c$ a8 A3 @- ]% Q/ Q
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. % J( W8 r3 a- |/ Q
' u# d8 M3 h7 M8 }! }0 S0 ~' _" ILeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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- T! ]) M; F& NReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. 3 g; V2 b* c; G: P7 S7 w$ u# \" Z
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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