 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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1 ^* V5 M. `1 {Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- + q- Q3 ?; |1 U+ z
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 5 n4 r) c# j- {5 a$ U. J% }" I
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.# g1 A; G. O$ x6 v
" k' p! `7 |& y" p( B7 tCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; H) a) o$ ^( E( B' V; D% Q
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ' h1 y0 e- f( n/ T; a$ d" i
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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" A4 u" E5 d# N. H/ c2 NTurn off shower.0 y7 p& r. c6 t; j* t$ n
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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# u9 @( a8 N* P- {# d6 dSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. % w$ q' m+ E, |3 V
5 u) _( B; H8 j" l" Y4 SWrap hair in super absorbent towel. * H3 ]4 U1 t( P0 }$ z
/ X# \! o$ r5 yReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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* a0 Q; u- f$ E- [8 BIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 2 N w1 v7 t, G/ _8 x
/ H+ n6 D5 W& E# s$ R2 o9 yTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2 V1 e) ?3 M+ _
" n6 W* y& ]5 ?( @* Y# J; A3 e7 RWalk naked to the bathroom.
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4 ~- f" i' X* X" A) q1 C JIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ' S/ K. F4 N/ f2 t
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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* |3 R# e0 N C: h, R& YAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ; y/ M, [6 L! T& Z T. A( v
. D! V; z: g- X" Y/ i9 n8 ` U, L L, |Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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9 b# ]. W" P1 U' PBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. / d# H! j% J" U
3 ?# J! ~5 w9 \& ^$ GSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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% k: L4 P! X9 H/ x( U1 h1 M7 vWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. * ]1 u7 ?* J/ \ q- S
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. * y L; i2 E9 k! N! @# `
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.8 [* I+ `' V, X
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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. V4 I$ x" _5 c) `Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. % @* o$ M2 D/ {5 l, ~
4 O( C8 C1 a& k8 E- h* ^# `Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ! i, K6 P* h; O; S8 m# `4 F) a" k
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1 V9 F4 g1 e, t4 i3 k, mIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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