 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 3 J' b+ c# U" Y! L
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; ]- m0 V3 h+ I; z2 v" JTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 9 r X9 G- c- Y! @
" b" J; i% F6 }2 g$ }% p; W$ lIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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7 I& g6 ]. c( U, s* `Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
7 i/ `- F6 q4 N( T) Q% Smake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.. e2 m2 @& o0 x9 L( F
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ( W4 |/ U0 g* g( q# P, d }
' {1 `% s* U! k( H$ t9 n$ D! WWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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3 y$ a1 s) D9 O, [. \* _) k3 a* jWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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- y$ P, w/ K+ K4 Y# ?2 p; _) d* YCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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/ W+ c( @7 D M2 O9 UWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. * I7 X2 l E& @2 K) c% }/ o
& y& }& e% c' I: p dRinse conditioner off hair., |# q; z' a' F
. N$ ?1 O! i% b! m3 _% _6 T% WShave armpits and legs.
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, |( J8 @ m1 n1 k0 r) L& O7 FTurn off shower.- z9 ^- f! t) @- E
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.$ D& r3 M% E6 f& N# z- a4 q ^
7 [4 F$ y- f3 zSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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9 R T2 q. e1 g( |Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ; X* F% e( U; S! ^3 V' b1 H
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: . q8 E0 g# H4 n
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 6 l* t3 B( f) S% r
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 2 E$ s8 z- B1 x
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. # v* v" [3 [- y' H5 Z
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. + V9 L" Y$ r/ f1 L5 e' c5 @
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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" ?, k; C' k. O5 m5 K# xSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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$ Z- x4 u2 k; q# h2 rWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. / i! r* T' q) W& \" Z% p
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Partially dry off., q" G! h0 C" U2 B) v
4 {: x1 c$ Z3 d% b; W/ VFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ) T) [' Q8 r- }9 o! q( m
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ( I8 s- N B) `+ H! j3 B. {
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 1 V) p4 f4 l# {# y. ]1 {
) `- T) v2 [& a, i( r8 uReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ; T. ~$ Z5 W- {0 i3 D% V1 O( |
8 N. l8 o% `6 xThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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