 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : . R- z, V! {- f
& L: V! C. h2 [, D/ ^. M1 t
8 t9 z9 _" _" f# Y* P2 S3 E--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
}8 ^0 A. q; J. ^7 A7 J# R8 X; u+ C& i4 o a9 W Y
/ w6 U3 t7 O- N& _% g
, C- K" E2 @; Z( PTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.9 X) g/ K& x' Y- u, g" P
, g# z k. i, p& v+ k/ W8 Z. RWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
9 i) w1 C0 c: n" B% T6 I9 ? R: ]/ n
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.- c0 N& a1 e& ^) j3 L& ~
+ O0 O/ W% `: R1 |( ?2 C
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
8 E+ c6 Q2 i1 q8 d; C1 Q5 rmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
3 [* s/ o. |. ~+ Y4 c; {. p9 S! _7 o) A) \: ]
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. : x2 U* @0 Z, c+ e' b3 `
# T5 Q! A& S6 q3 D. {* C
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6 N6 g2 b6 W+ A0 a+ v& D! n( S
; l! v7 h6 g. w3 V. y$ L
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
+ f. t8 B0 C$ \2 A V! k S, _; b! V- I
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..6 A( A$ j0 e8 n+ F: q, H. @: v# D
. \( u# W- t/ F( w5 m$ m
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. . W% F& y& O: r1 Y) j( N
- r8 ?& u9 w5 P- hWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
2 N! K: u; j+ ]4 a
6 d2 X" L. \! t; CRinse conditioner off hair.% i% Z" b; O" Y6 V D" ?
( r% @" l9 D! t- J6 j% X
Shave armpits and legs.) y$ I- T+ T3 N0 g, Y' a
- w% i1 p$ S( D% g. a( M2 m3 E
Turn off shower.) J, d6 u+ W1 t4 b( [5 i$ k5 z8 S
4 O& c/ }1 F% q" |) q; {* m2 z& Q
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.1 w$ k1 }" g, ?7 J0 {3 ?. j
2 Y' g# s I Y- l7 I& l' ]. @3 [
Spray mold spots with Tilex. 6 d3 H) ^+ v( `; r
! Z/ E. z$ y1 p
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
9 @: i+ _ W7 Y+ V& r7 p, y% _+ o, i' W7 k) E
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
* ?. n2 x5 Q" [7 ]+ m9 C( I% p
1 e& {/ v; K2 D2 u5 L; A3 P0 tReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. * i1 D& j+ i L* w' i0 A+ \
) Y1 W8 a- i) |4 o& B
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
+ _/ J/ g2 O! U! a2 w, y, ]8 _- y% s) D' w
; z; u' M, H% U) P8 C0 U4 ~5 G1 r, p* L/ A% w% c+ O( a
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
' w' N' f @; G. f+ j8 g: x2 P" a
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
) e. m6 p0 @8 W' h4 ?" s0 l; M0 \* O+ _0 H& ?9 Y
Walk naked to the bathroom. m, m, a+ I. Q6 Y8 E2 x9 y
' p3 i% Q! @& p& y5 X
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
0 }5 q; A. L4 ?/ C6 l" X
( H6 F0 }3 N9 M6 V. MLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
% g' r! L, Q0 z, U. {" D. b$ [! B/ p' b2 } G* {! c8 X2 l
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
9 E1 q0 C7 |6 Y3 j- c
j. G" N1 \/ d8 P+ C+ h; cGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 6 ^) P& J% M3 p
; e- {% _9 d0 ?/ Z/ j0 T5 s2 ABlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ' Y# s4 L" y5 P! \* T# t% f
. G5 Y/ m: u) q, ~" Z
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
- L4 b$ w* n' @( f6 p) R0 Q/ G4 \/ \2 e0 D0 m; D
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. & N- `" a2 p R j1 ?# e2 J; j& M
3 l8 `; M C+ q+ r6 f* Z
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
4 A7 N+ o* w' p- V( Z8 D. ~! [! O: F T3 H% ^" Q/ F+ E8 `" n3 W
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. q+ K( X6 N: s u
; _9 g. @, ~0 C
Pee. + G- u! E$ Z9 N) M, b# X1 Z5 D
% E. P2 B _$ M+ N( e
Rinse off and get out of shower. * _7 C# ~6 |& v9 ]
, x* U) y" m/ ^Partially dry off.
$ C/ T T0 f0 {5 {+ f& A% S" H. \" M- }- h5 H
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 3 `1 l* V) p$ q# {
# f8 H, [2 \( ]3 o7 l3 c
Admire wiener size in mirror again. . S9 d2 j, [% n! B4 a
% v O6 @( r9 O1 z! OLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 9 V: f/ h) T, o$ S( @+ N; D+ b2 O9 C
2 U [; m9 J' t+ t3 y
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
8 E. _2 D, }3 c1 S6 T4 v/ F* I- v2 k! K, ^
Throw wet towel on bed.
* W/ R5 G+ v! Z! A8 J( C4 f" k2 ]- E# ]- M& I
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|