 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : - N: o* M+ V, v6 n" T
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- z" I1 H) m4 j0 \4 jTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. - B p4 S$ g S2 `/ F( q: z: j
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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8 b: q T5 [9 \$ s8 A5 gLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- + r8 t# a; W6 d
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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6 J0 x. B- B, e; U. b PWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..& r+ j7 A8 ?1 n! ~" C. G
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 8 v1 @) I$ J- |- n) J
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 4 E: I/ I5 [7 N6 e4 e
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Rinse conditioner off hair.0 [( V; J6 B% a0 n1 q$ g
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Shave armpits and legs.& P9 S. W! q5 B' j5 w. A4 \, b
/ S0 \$ h0 Y+ h; g) _Turn off shower.
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& j% v% B8 n' ], SSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 2 j) s( G7 m3 }2 U* r3 ^) t5 I, ?
1 [# f6 S- @4 c2 u0 d+ l( K- Q1 Q+ vWrap hair in super absorbent towel. , D$ B: n, g" i) z3 E! _
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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& y4 }$ c' L( |/ A rIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: + H: ?; e& D4 b( r: f" ^5 g, n# T
( [6 M' a1 n; Y$ A( eTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.' t7 b" L9 c9 n g' p- P
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. + r R6 R4 F8 c
3 {% s4 b: W2 w. P/ N4 |- }) CLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 1 n7 y9 W9 {$ `7 C& t: _
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. * U, t* X" ]8 }5 t4 B5 M
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 7 M) C- v k2 H/ k
: ?1 Z% P$ B; wBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 5 N! k$ d, I& Q0 N$ c5 d
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 0 W+ w: `' ]$ U5 O& `$ v: M
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 5 [- f; ]! |+ Z# F2 v) t) v
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. # O! Q3 ~" S' F
4 c: y. T% I& [+ @6 _Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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0 ^. u( s7 h8 D/ cPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 6 h# ~& V; V$ j7 @
$ P+ |( y* \) r' s3 F. [ d! CThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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