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2 w( r5 w8 m3 z2 UWhy did God make mothers?, ?; ?6 O- n/ U0 H# S
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.6 r% n8 }3 _3 @' }* i
2. Mostly to clean the house. : L+ ]; n( ]. d/ j7 B2 @
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. 3 ], s' x) t2 J9 q) S
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How did God make mothers? . d# y1 h" _8 `7 w v0 O" a2 _
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
" m5 n- r( Y# @2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 4 f4 `# O$ D" _6 d, s ]
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. ' b" d: e! h4 I
+ @, x4 u3 f" j: {. i5 fWhat ingredients are mothers made of ? H) n5 `& h$ E4 Y1 [" c3 z( H
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. ! m3 L! \& c2 t1 x, Y& ^7 o5 B
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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) T. v! D; |* [8 N6 ~1 LWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom? $ X; n9 L5 R6 u/ b- E
1. We're related.
6 s/ b8 p/ _) _' h' Y- N m2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. 0 f$ a3 a3 Q, x& O" E
- S# H4 Y' N& `. @! g2 }$ {! fWhat kind of little girl was your mom?
+ h7 P# X. i2 D. |1 Z1 o% F6 V1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. * _4 F) b" x/ N) }: U' B
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
$ X I; u/ E$ S j/ C3 q, _) @7 B3 j. E3 ]3. They say she used to be nice.
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? : O6 E) D$ ?' E6 z a. A+ W, E) v
1. His last name.
$ D- S% R; A+ Y0 O2 x2 m" n2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?' O' I) h8 c2 J' O& F
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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% U( A* _- g o1 U' eWhy did your mom marry your dad? 0 q2 h+ w6 A* \ X8 o
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
5 \/ U! l1 C9 o' z/ M( B! }: `2. She got too old to do anything else with him. - R% r& r; h. o" T0 T
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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Who's the boss at your house?
# B' I9 ?- }3 _& I1 O/ g$ l1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. , O7 t/ X; J7 Q2 W1 A. S4 Q9 H+ F
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
* ? k, N% R3 \& \- T; T3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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What's the difference between moms & dads?
% r( M, ]1 C3 s4 s; W5 ~5 F1 B1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. ; T+ V2 C$ x% \
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.! T9 D4 B: V3 r3 Y2 M
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. * d7 @% M" N5 }! @& f
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. . c. W- }& L* a( A- b4 A
- _. Z" \2 p& v7 n" p9 JWhat does your mom do in her spare time?
8 U& t+ X E! r+ f, l9 d2 e1. Mothers don't do spare time.# k# A; `6 h) p' v$ y5 M* F
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. ( x) v- n) e0 x1 _2 A% z% y" {
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What would it take to make your mom perfect? # d* q. f1 v) I- g* ^
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
5 h! n8 F4 R) o2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. $ O! I6 t4 v' q
/ d( L$ a( T: N8 `8 Z% RIf you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
3 A& a5 ? N2 g* @+ b, r1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. , J2 r: M& p; D2 N- G5 ~3 H' H2 V
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
9 ]8 L" N8 ^- Q2 b, m; T5 d- T3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. w- O2 M- Y4 e4 ]% R9 G4 h& Z h+ ] {
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