 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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: O2 ^' ^" e' a! rWhy did God make mothers?
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# P7 J9 |% t- m" {$ a1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
- N% A, l+ r. r& k8 f2 @2. Mostly to clean the house.
" g$ D; i+ ]( t7 u: c c$ }3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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/ o w3 a" P, o! G, |. M- h9 tHow did God make mothers? & \4 [: r9 y5 I- A d; D; `: A
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.% c3 L w8 A3 D& B6 [, P
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. & J, R5 L* M7 E1 U6 T* E2 O
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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. Z$ f! I+ U3 m0 G0 YWhat ingredients are mothers made of ?
6 z* s2 x8 _ M' k2 s: Y5 w1 o1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. / {, m! y Q% P" R
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. ( Z( S! J! P" _: P R4 M, }* u
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Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1 d+ m1 y z) B5 ~1. We're related.0 G# R# |4 ~; H
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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What kind of little girl was your mom?
; Z( f6 [- A2 s! t$ g4 E) _3 x1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
3 {" g7 M g" X1 M- ^7 j* h% U# k2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 0 p5 } |# g s7 d7 T
3. They say she used to be nice. ( a% ?6 I9 k2 `9 t2 N7 H
5 }, x( h6 {3 D0 [, C- p; nWhat did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
- k! Y. I4 o0 f3 r$ K1. His last name.& X( L* o, S0 F" L& p0 W2 S
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?6 H+ O7 s) E5 j( M" S9 j+ ^
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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Why did your mom marry your dad? ) a) I' z* U" i
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
: ~$ c7 u, e. Y& V7 }6 [6 p7 K( G5 }2. She got too old to do anything else with him. z2 K4 O- H* q7 {- F
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. " B; G$ p# u1 r( j0 u9 @& s3 ?+ [
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Who's the boss at your house?
/ b: r8 l) q( e3 G. |9 I0 J4 U) I1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
. S) r: B% [) h% W# l4 {2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.: `3 i! \+ L4 g: e4 c( L
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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Y, L8 o: K: B# ?What's the difference between moms & dads? ' ?& k: b, b6 O, S6 S( e% Q
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. ( ^# D) j" u9 `) l% a, b
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.+ [7 I2 B! `8 y2 {$ F
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
/ x( `' N+ H; k2 S" X: a' N4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. ) ]9 ]6 v( b) J; R. i
- x( d4 k/ n& _; b+ SWhat does your mom do in her spare time?
+ ]; Q% F1 `9 f; @; M; e1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2 L# _ g( A1 Q( e/ }; \2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. . I5 s. I" w! y1 G7 g( U% A% S) p$ _
$ X: H0 ^- ^, A1 kWhat would it take to make your mom perfect?
& c: F r9 o% @' j1 p1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.( J3 {2 ^( u' B& [5 r
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. * X+ _- k8 I! _ L4 p# e1 Z+ w
; @5 y% l6 ~( |If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
- o, D; l k) }' P5 S# b/ W1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. ' l4 d0 l* _9 [$ d
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3 R2 H# G* R" v3 B- f$ U4 s3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. 5 @& P% ` r' H! t, M( S
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