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Why did God make mothers?
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6 o7 a! B. ?8 O& v: g2 M1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.$ B0 f! Y4 \/ l+ b2 _
2. Mostly to clean the house.
- Z4 W5 N3 _! W7 }6 c7 f3 y3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. 3 V$ I2 b* e) m& `4 J) K/ f! }. o
5 q5 c) B8 A( a' t. bHow did God make mothers? 0 a) Z; A0 _' j) H
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.& b9 n/ ^& l3 h. K
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
) ]. {0 o8 Z9 A' K8 e" R3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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& F- Z. f) y, A# T2 K+ X( EWhat ingredients are mothers made of ?
* _6 W' ?5 T1 F2 z2 D1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. # v! l' x1 o. y* O
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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) I2 Y1 }6 ~- B) O0 LWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
+ Q' g' \: H$ A5 O& O1. We're related.
& v' x, e" K; b: s2 I2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. 3 W: ~3 h& Y9 N, q7 G
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What kind of little girl was your mom? $ }! p6 @* b7 ?0 M! k5 q5 N( I
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
4 [* m% g! O2 p* A3 R8 f' i9 B2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. , A3 J3 T) D" M. Y: R9 Y* C
3. They say she used to be nice. & y4 M2 ~2 ~% A/ c Y9 O
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
+ U' C; I9 r; _" A1. His last name.5 L5 z! J, w, s5 U' `
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
* P# q% m& g3 ?3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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Why did your mom marry your dad?
1 a1 K% q8 s }& j7 r) @1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
4 q, s3 x$ Q1 g2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
, \+ Q& O! g/ i& x3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. $ e9 a8 Z( h% M# {$ e
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Who's the boss at your house?
5 k& y8 f* f, r, x- L* U' t1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. ) y# C; y0 O: i9 T: y5 T. R y
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
4 E% t- @" ?9 ^% }( c! `% {5 F3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. * d' M+ e4 E" z% _: r
+ I9 p! Q, N- |2 J4 jWhat's the difference between moms & dads? 7 J+ q6 s3 @! {. _8 S" |5 K n
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
. P( z- }8 c' F6 M: w2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
, j& f- b7 P3 V3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
$ I9 h# q) J: ]. K& v% q( {4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. % z/ N/ _2 x. r1 R
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What does your mom do in her spare time? 3 V3 r: R/ c1 ]0 ^( `9 _
1. Mothers don't do spare time.) ~; r1 m. p( {4 _( O
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. % s) B8 ~- C2 i) ?, e" l
! P2 v. I F, M4 B( H, c* o: j3 PWhat would it take to make your mom perfect?
5 B2 m& `0 p+ A( _0 N# o1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
5 ^2 Q }0 C `" |3 {9 y+ b2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. ' o. @# j+ [2 |# ]3 A8 ^
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? . n. ]4 }# c' O( A: O" B
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
3 u9 D( `; X& X( Z- x1 @2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.2 |7 R1 x4 S6 ~2 V
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. 5 R" j+ g; [8 P, W* n
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