 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
% Y- D9 H" ?: b4 M( d7 X3 Y) v: F5 h8 L- E5 G8 I9 W' q; h
B" C ], |8 N; ]* N9 l% s
9 y( ~* \, L2 q; Z- p! r 1. Bring your own house.
% ^ G# k U; g L" c# s
* P& d; h( \9 h% s# K. A 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and# u: e w. ]' u+ _+ O; L
hospital.
" I3 h! r( x. c4 a7 O! [! R6 M/ M8 h' U$ j2 @+ T' C
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder& n5 T' C( w1 P# c
capital of Canada .$ n6 l8 O' h: j% q6 b
- A7 E$ }! y i 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
6 C( I6 ?* c$ O
5 q, a% {% b' }- Z/ i& R( Q2 k' b 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug6 f" `+ x7 J5 Q% G' s8 m
capital of Canada .1 g8 l4 Q1 u9 s# B h7 s0 A ?3 s
1 l/ m ~* B: q5 A5 D! U8 t* M0 Y$ u( ~ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is; [" G% e( j( u% M1 A: B
$8.00/hour.
! X, m3 L9 p% K6 f" @. T
+ b+ @! K1 `5 a5 |# E1 X 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
, _( v6 t, ]" l d9 \) `
; a" a6 `* c L+ x1 C 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
/ m' M5 u& V5 k4 @# q' C& n( Oon a 15 year holiday ?6 B1 ]% r, e# Q4 j5 {- {+ j
5 z1 e6 F) F# y& w: v7 y+ l 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
. X, I+ h7 E5 D, i$ _prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
3 Z; w3 U+ v# N# b, n% s4 u
% C; m7 s3 X" m) O8 Q- e10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
8 }2 t4 F4 Q# s7 x+ Phere sick.: X% }* ]! o& O+ t. |6 r. A8 W
: @+ b/ K9 O' P, P) t) C6 {( a
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
0 |! C! Y7 V' G, z3 Y! w, syears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
7 c7 J: S V5 g" `$ c! m2 O
1 l; Q7 n$ S$ P& a, X; M9 ~& U x$ k- v$ Q" t& V+ N
* g# e9 A6 Z1 a) n3 y% O
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
1 A& D" N1 `9 j6 D) G' w6 ]
- A+ i* o* ~2 G1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
* b% P* J& p! k0 ]/ w; k
/ o! n; o2 K0 t. ?% X" C0 W- R2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
' c* o6 T4 F1 Y5 Eis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.2 E8 `; R+ O2 T
0 Y; Z! L& E! ~# S g3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
5 o7 [: ?% i9 `4 d6 xown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
1 s3 x: k. h' a3 N; ]8 r6 K+ dmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
/ b! M2 ]# W# t3 Ago second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
5 P2 j o& o( q2 D3 x4 Gphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.9 \+ j& P1 K% j7 U4 F; f
1 A$ e1 A2 w/ x, o4 ^4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
! z3 W9 S" [. ?* e& Tcussed out, and possibly shot.
& l+ x0 n& l* a9 B
% q0 l! x; _; [5 X7 B4 o$ R5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that/ O. U4 E) W3 Z( w( R# f( h
can get you shot.
8 V8 A$ E" H0 M! K( }) t0 D2 j* f# P- H0 D; V* Q% R
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
0 X7 L# \3 ^1 J2 [barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! G# s& N. K% ]8 v% qday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
A! `8 j6 L' N' ]! {" Z. umore construction starts everyday./ A* u b2 w: C' v2 @1 Z
! q6 J' O1 b$ v& B; h. W; S
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,! Z6 Q: E0 v1 C0 C! |" o
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,; T w7 A6 y$ R% ^6 y9 k3 B- E
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
( M3 _" N1 o% ]# ?+ T
1 _. R2 y5 s2 j; f" m- L8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all# m* p- R9 I' U4 e3 R. u
the same road.
( D: f8 w, ]; G9 k) c& I) d; T1 W5 b0 d* o
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
; X. o* M( D' u. E+ s2 B6 }7 Gshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally8 u% j$ r k4 ~; M9 Z# m: }
activated."
4 D9 l. O1 C# ]. V9 ?1 O* |1 N; \* h4 c0 c/ Q, e0 ?
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
" E7 n6 b/ x9 |' S P' z6 tzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"7 X2 W+ U+ A( c! U0 ~
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
$ G* {. C; k1 C# x: d. |; j8 O2 V' r+ D% _" m
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
8 q) ]) Y c/ y$ _6 {) }9 Flined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 m- {2 ?+ L7 ]6 Vblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
3 E# r5 n% q: \# J9 {4 M: Kvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
& k) D$ J5 Q# y+ ^2 u' }
. H6 \! M, \1 m" R
