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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.) g3 X' T" H8 |. Z; J
6 i$ _) C9 H# q$ S 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
2 v) x2 q) E; Q( y# O. `; C( yhospital.+ Z! g* g8 _& c* t
( o- P( R& K2 m3 i3 L 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
9 f+ ~8 }* ?& |. ?0 Ycapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .7 ]+ S& H/ P& h5 Y( o4 E
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug* j c- j7 K2 j* U
capital of Canada .8 x) N$ ~& F* N% y; f# s$ o
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is3 u/ K3 P3 h( u7 w2 X6 c" L$ o4 b
$8.00/hour.# d7 O5 ?! {% O" M R
* P! V s. v9 p2 k7 l& @ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8 s0 V7 s. m- {1 Z+ K( o+ y( u8 b 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money$ ]1 T1 g; @/ D# c$ K/ ^9 O0 m+ I& e
on a 15 year holiday ?4 U+ J5 K5 o/ s' O; X2 s
3 [* _) e# a( k0 y. K 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas) W& }1 l E: b7 t. t& s2 T
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)6 K4 O' g0 s o9 {. k7 @, M
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
2 g$ |$ @% d# mhere sick.
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* o1 n8 ?8 P1 W b11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 121 v* `) ]7 g2 ~5 q' e
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.- D* Z# d* j* c) F% c
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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+ W. V! c% j, y* j4 _ A2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
3 ?/ V" y% M% m; u5 I( Ais from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
0 C5 I& K M$ aown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
: S6 }0 Q! j! K* I5 y9 fmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
( l8 s# T4 j: n0 I0 f2 Ngo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
3 x8 C$ z) x8 o8 I% m7 e; `phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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/ k0 u: P0 V9 f; q7 L+ E5 G4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 z a: k: b; r4 _0 ~cussed out, and possibly shot.
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- _- C* g7 `5 j8 z9 N! [# n9 x5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that0 v6 }/ n; I) n( h# k
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
6 a. F+ y8 X. u9 [& Q+ ^barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
& V6 s9 Q8 ^! a$ P* e2 e' H- Rday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and9 z% x5 _4 i- }
more construction starts everyday., G! g3 S) E( X; \) v
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,% R: C" h& K3 D
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,0 c7 d6 \7 o2 e# V4 X4 Y
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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/ I6 ?' y' S8 p) |0 D' l8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all3 s% W( F# g6 \5 n1 @ p) B' O
the same road.: L5 w' R) K* b/ E% [
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the: q) U# m9 @: k5 J
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally/ O0 B7 x4 u0 q/ f9 k* o
activated.": k4 \' ^( N$ M. d. p
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
1 L ^2 R- E* u$ }# n2 o4 Y5 E0 izone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
) o8 S; K# j9 i/ M. c, k# taccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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+ n- m, z5 Q( m11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
6 L8 G9 ?3 u& Q. ]% M+ Slined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ e+ ^* y) O- K1 Lblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is2 N! B9 z9 w% c [" m8 B$ ~
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
