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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.# E5 `! M2 A7 p8 W% p1 Q
4 W% C% R; e* _. V# f( E1 @ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and% `+ u) I+ y" f. L, \5 F$ ?3 p
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder# y8 @2 y9 y6 r' u- `1 Z) ^$ I
capital of Canada .
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8 M& V/ z& l* ]/ A( y8 i& E8 t 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .' F% L8 e4 b7 B; f C
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
! E7 @8 x( g) L5 x; A' G4 f# {$ icapital of Canada .) c( B9 b$ u% O7 N
( y& @* E! P) L2 A: B! ] 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is+ H: O, M3 g( e9 j! R, y
$8.00/hour.
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4 O- ~; Q0 c& q; {9 e" E' ? 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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: @2 p. D5 I5 @' w F: a- { 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
+ ?/ q$ o2 L0 W) R2 @+ r K% O4 p6 d* kon a 15 year holiday ?
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+ U% x+ J' ~6 x9 { i 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas8 s1 w3 ^3 E% i. |6 O- L) M- K
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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/ ~ {# k ]2 F2 r* R' |10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
0 k4 L" k3 j% L( E: o% x# Zhere sick.
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$ o- ]9 ^6 @+ H- f/ s$ Y11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
5 [0 A# M" r+ x1 hyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.0 Q- \& {0 w3 N7 y4 H2 e
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. M: p) a* A$ v% C+ @: T% m" K THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :! K, y' d: v9 {2 S& P
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".% y o" s; | Z% m
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour8 S4 z/ i8 ]1 q; f1 C
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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" d, y E2 l' F. \3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its8 z" L7 X4 v6 G+ C/ i
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest. H* t! w9 B# ?
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 |7 Y L/ u7 Y0 ^. ?" ]
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell, |! w! @. Z/ ` z! c
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.1 _3 r$ G; J8 \" j3 z
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
% `+ a/ ]) i, s6 Zcussed out, and possibly shot.8 f+ h( k9 A+ s4 d+ t5 C
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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8 g+ w( p0 E; H" K7 @5 K9 V0 J9 L, Q6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
7 q0 i4 l( G! Kbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
- q1 N5 B0 H: w/ j# _day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and$ B1 c- g) h g
more construction starts everyday.
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4 T& E% s. B* H$ s 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,6 W6 k( A# @0 t0 \/ u/ m( l
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage, k) Z# U: y6 d N9 [, ^5 c
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all, R& e, {6 M: g4 H, }
the same road.9 ?6 }' b. o2 q) H
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the% `# R+ \, l4 H6 c: L7 H0 c2 b; f+ }
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally( |1 @: W* x: [
activated."0 ^5 L0 g+ I e" C( V0 x3 y3 E. I
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.& J( A7 ~3 c: x
( j) ]) G# Y( d% F3 R% D11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur3 n" x8 \7 }3 c& P# T
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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