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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA- }- C7 v2 V' @5 q: {& B4 M
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1 _$ Y- x* a9 N* m 1. Bring your own house.3 e9 ?8 N' E, a
t2 x& G% Q& p' @% J2 z: O 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
2 o# M, q! @8 o! R: P7 U" ehospital." X; F- e8 I/ C8 S
2 ]6 A& D0 `( Y' p: _ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder* x& l: x' K3 i4 [+ T. j7 S
capital of Canada .. x5 w% i7 ?3 U' k4 B9 d
1 H0 u1 K" \6 L! [ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
1 E4 X( H$ a; s) Bcapital of Canada .. j9 P& Q& z1 `0 f& o5 U
' k8 v9 `3 O6 V6 G6 V5 x y 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
8 {2 M+ E! I* ^: i8 Q$8.00/hour. N0 X% G0 P6 b# d! }/ }2 T' G
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.: F, g6 x9 r" n
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money8 z4 f1 _% P! X- x" b! V
on a 15 year holiday ?5 l! V M# Q1 I. P9 _$ t
: M; z; h: X5 \ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas5 S+ U( q) S3 F4 ~' W
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)' }- m7 W1 ]# F/ x! d
- F. G- N) Z& N5 S10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
# R1 G5 l8 p3 ~; ?( p+ R5 o! ahere sick.& Y2 b/ z7 S5 q
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
' z; R$ r! p; q0 D, S4 Cyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.% [9 ~% b( M1 U( h' m
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :8 `$ y" k6 U9 P! e5 s1 X6 |$ T: j& o
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".; A( E* k3 W/ A/ z! {+ {) D$ _
6 H! J; m0 P7 f3 }/ y4 N- p! ~2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 n1 J" p; t' ~( Fis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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' G0 ^; _3 N, O2 h$ |6 w3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
% h# Z/ l! \" t) ]* Aown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
& Q; ^3 w$ b; C, M1 fmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires* m. d! Y7 E7 T5 k8 r
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
( C- L8 \2 A% z5 B" Rphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.3 Z0 N4 u* @; v1 }$ Z4 r, T
3 c7 l& v3 Y4 A5 i7 [# r- B4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,* f9 k3 [/ P7 r0 e, ~2 e( \2 C& F( B
cussed out, and possibly shot.# c7 P9 A I q. M
" w$ v: ?; h$ V% e3 R5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that6 L) {& x! R2 O8 b' B
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
) w9 O$ z" I1 h- i" f/ f+ M* Zbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next0 V8 n% A% B" [
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
( e3 R4 o2 |) H# C; H5 ^# o, x* |9 Rmore construction starts everyday.3 y) n6 I! k$ v( e" Z6 ~
- x# ^7 O( c% w7 T2 | U8 h 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,' a4 J3 d0 g% D) n
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
! ]2 ` j" r, B$ zsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.+ l( W! I* U0 S6 V; z0 d, q2 [
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all: p( I9 V6 x7 T$ Y: x, k. [3 A1 r: U
the same road.
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, [9 y" E. ^' Q! D# A! K( E9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the" H* n1 V. P8 }( l2 t/ o
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally: V) i3 X n; b+ F6 S& g4 X8 z- s
activated."1 T/ |) @4 w# r. s7 ?7 B4 S
' e4 ^0 `0 A9 b$ \' q10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km+ j3 [ `' x) |) H
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
2 C" l+ j! k2 O R/ gaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.' q. M. a* \4 j0 b
4 _2 X# V! S" {11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur6 b4 C3 h/ o5 P/ m8 m2 ^1 m! n9 Q
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and* I% C# V( B4 N9 ?
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' _1 j Q/ ?; _virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
