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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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) D N7 m- r+ H2 M: Z% i 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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7 H0 x/ w, I3 A" h% @ S 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
+ h( g, ~2 `4 U. X2 K: D# Ocapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .! e1 f3 o. J7 u
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug0 T/ T6 {7 H: z( g0 x
capital of Canada .$ V2 c. A D. \6 q7 s( G: I3 f( `) w
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is- `; J$ c( {# I0 Q0 d0 u- E, J
$8.00/hour.4 m6 q# @: j1 b
5 l/ t/ h1 b1 W 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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. g; ~8 B# s0 p' w+ n2 T 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money2 `( [# q! m! B! f
on a 15 year holiday ?6 p$ C; I1 x4 Z Q k
8 t% ~1 c/ b8 }# [ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas2 A; P! Y* ~& I& N5 z3 i
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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& \% f; O7 K' e0 [7 r/ w10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
* _, v9 {4 }( D! N4 \- n% B! \0 hhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 124 S o! F+ A8 G9 M
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.4 K: R% A4 c$ h, Z
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour. T* m; T6 l, s' d* W
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.; h7 \* t! r F
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
3 t1 G6 j! q4 ^1 r! Hown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest2 r4 g6 \9 F7 t
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
% @9 l) [. q! Dgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell# n9 n; H! C2 Z5 ?# Q0 U
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.1 _! Z; u) M: [, K
& j( }$ X1 `8 h% O, F& f4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, Z0 T8 J$ A9 X" z% z/ Icussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that' ^8 {* w3 e" ^7 a7 H1 w: \6 \
can get you shot.
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! B& V( y. m6 L; ^3 r: N& v. l7 p( `6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
& o7 u3 y4 l2 V, xbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next( k+ K/ c" A1 n+ B {0 g
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
. {. J, ]" |: ]8 m! Wmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
G3 c3 T! j. Q* Y$ Jdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
8 {* P% V+ n, g4 l. q& Fsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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. f+ w! N/ `) o0 p+ u8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
# {' P% S( ?. g1 }5 z/ @* C+ _the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the, o+ i" Z [( H
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally& u* S: m. L4 {+ h0 @3 `8 N+ e& d
activated."$ v3 f( _; V+ g. W: b8 e8 h
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur- K% p' r# f/ X& s
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and/ W2 q: Z7 `9 g$ e. t
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is( L1 \- I. ? R# u& u" T
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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