送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA

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1. Bring your own house.

2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
+ A/ R3 P5 R* Z8 c) Phospital.

3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
0 G- i" i$ R1 Wcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .

9 @4 ]9 X9 j2 Z) ~0 Y 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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( f: }/ f  R: `) d, u 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?

* j5 w2 X* x. w4 O 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
0 O$ B9 \6 f0 N8 P: k' Q" e2 hprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.

11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.

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) J* i( }6 N# H  G& L! I: y THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

9 a; Y4 Y0 Y+ t5 U" n) K2 Y1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
/ A! Q- @& \9 e5 x, L# Cis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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; R$ `* }3 @9 x5 y7 e3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
9 f* {/ R1 q. B6 vgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

+ ]' W" N0 X# d, ?  W2 w# R4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
2 X2 x% W% o6 d. }# Mcussed out, and possibly shot.

5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
$ @8 j. R; N, {7 B, ]! fcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
! ^) E, h& t1 A% Gbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
1 r, |% w1 v% mmore construction starts everyday.
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) f/ b% |+ x/ ]2 c, j( |  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
" q4 j* M5 X7 \+ h, Ydeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.

' ^1 u" \  S3 O: Y' Z) G1 F- X9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."

10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
, w0 o, L; ]" o( r# V9 M) ~zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

: k2 {2 k, g$ T11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
2 q0 n! E) W. l: i& ?blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
3 _4 X" i. M5 d8 w$ K) L满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
/ z# I! R& G! k( R7 y3 A' i有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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- ]! J% l7 z( k# D此地钱多, 人傻, 速来



[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
- K, E& G! Z) d% ?满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表

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2 R9 H$ ~2 B! }% e9 D% H% ]7 E# N 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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' D) H& E3 R& O/ O6 p, L这么刺痛你了吗？

* D0 h% s* ?% l% C4 e: k我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
+ M/ a- F# B% n$ x/ L5 _朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
4 v: j6 y9 d; }2 k2 e: I6 J/ z满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

1 s9 @2 _* F1 m3 @' Q你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.