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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA4 Q; y3 d/ }- T) e
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1. Bring your own house.5 @1 {4 y6 @+ z
3 D6 j8 F7 |4 o# b. r0 o$ |7 T 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and# l- J( Y9 c6 [- s. p$ c
hospital.0 W+ ~/ ?. ?: Z" u2 o6 m
( D V" U8 V. M: @; N( d 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 C6 h) i, _% U8 w) jcapital of Canada .% ?* \/ z: C' |5 B; F. ]2 b
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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' I& ?3 \: z) P( q" d3 \ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug# u& d' V8 j% W% ^9 B w
capital of Canada ./ E! p) A6 \" _: _ X
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
- |- S' M0 v/ K" R$8.00/hour.
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# k, `4 P" ?. b7 c 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.0 @% v$ c9 J! J w/ w' X
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money! @2 V1 T. w, ^# A
on a 15 year holiday ?
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7 W$ F- l* {. P 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
' n5 P$ G, N# |! b- K5 `prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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% g8 {- W9 l+ i/ V4 z10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come) |7 x6 k+ x( w9 w7 D
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 121 ?! B( [# r9 d& v: `* e1 ?
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.! F5 N* }7 o1 U3 M, w
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( Y% p( [$ ^5 o, U THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour& {* l. w0 K& ?
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.0 I3 x& X1 H( X% e9 g6 E2 {- [
% l9 k$ d( n+ A- z3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
7 W: B, k; E3 m; T9 M; T; |own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest! H5 K( K' k5 \
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
1 h# B" [: s% L) Z/ tgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell- j4 ?! R8 I3 T8 X
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.. q, j# b0 A! }# Z% v) ^
; k$ K+ d3 ~) ?; V4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
! U) u5 b9 p/ x8 c* u) P% [cussed out, and possibly shot.9 Y9 K" n, u1 ^
5 c6 F, n' t X5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that9 S/ p, Z0 V7 y# W( P: O
can get you shot." h) h+ y, |. [+ _# E: _) }. o+ G
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
6 q# J- q+ ]3 pbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next& M/ s- y- _. o9 R& E/ G+ z
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
/ |" b9 X3 L' k4 \4 Y- Kmore construction starts everyday.
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$ c1 W- F! p _; e9 g 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,6 Y0 j+ U2 L/ E, W
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,, ^* q. W$ \0 n% K; o
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.$ M5 B$ M% I( c+ a
& |, [! ~4 Y7 v [8 c8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all+ T1 c9 f9 \: l4 u
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
' z; R9 O) U6 H0 n% e, F( Mshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally) O4 ]% Z3 y2 E* j( V3 s- F. ?
activated."$ l8 Z1 l' d7 m' ?, N% w7 z$ `* ^0 ^
( U2 g0 k& t8 y5 I% s. h10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km* k9 @2 u4 G8 j3 F: y8 q! u
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"- _& K7 ~# @* |2 f& M* ]" l
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur3 U3 _5 ~8 ]0 l7 J8 B3 ]9 }
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
4 F- Q5 H, U) ~$ ~$ `" B# T/ }$ k7 cblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is( v; m& M5 E. B8 Y6 `. W
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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