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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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5 V* d# y; r& n, J/ X4 g; ]; q 1. Bring your own house.; @/ B1 {7 _! J
+ |2 W* ]0 N, s9 @$ X1 z 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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l% N! D" z/ }3 j+ b" n7 [ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
, X9 ~# |% m0 V6 A* @; o: l: tcapital of Canada .
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3 K, ~3 h! `8 ?( s 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is A g Z- U1 e
$8.00/hour.; }! Q9 T+ s/ L
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas7 ]# S' P/ O- p
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)* }# b: u: P- g& V+ l7 O$ D
# c ^0 u7 J! h( q( N, }10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come6 Z9 l4 x2 l! r9 S# I4 d3 Z
here sick.0 B6 q" s8 r4 k% U& _! u
& W$ a, T. e" U: m( g8 u0 F# o11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12/ o7 v/ L2 E; E1 Q; \8 v" ]
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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1 T5 M8 `6 ?: E( l3 A l THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :. G9 Y0 a0 B8 _0 U
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".$ I5 L9 O8 \8 S1 \. Y9 {# _) H
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
9 M2 `7 ~$ y2 ]9 D, N* [is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.- C& s: N6 r6 |1 p
9 h' U2 B0 k* C3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its% f( |, C* a; }2 v' x
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
; y7 L# e1 S! r# o. {muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, l7 k. }' A5 T4 x- r( C. `; s7 b A- `go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell- T9 n$ p' A& m! d+ I0 f3 r
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.& `/ C5 N, ^0 H) z+ F: w
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 l5 o8 {% P8 I; Zcussed out, and possibly shot.( Q, {# o7 F: Q8 w$ C, D7 J3 Y
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that0 y |, O7 G" z- P
can get you shot.
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" K1 F* f& O( p& u4 s, j5 C9 P6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: b8 |: ~# B" S+ s( T" ^
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: t6 o! V: c0 ]- F/ X. C! Z; @
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and9 k7 Y f" N* F4 U1 X: ]
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,0 \9 p' g8 w6 @) J
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,$ t8 j, p" ]; M. o
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items. I( o) u+ }6 R$ K6 e" _
# _5 l7 t& V# d; G/ ?: r8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all4 |# g5 \5 v0 o, L- _
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
( l8 [6 Y' a$ p* s; v+ A4 sshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally: S- u9 l3 Q! \& t- O3 V: A
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km$ y* o& U6 \( }% w9 c" g+ v
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"$ D9 D) d! ^; n( H- e8 [9 N
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 @: X/ W! w5 v1 O$ h r1 [lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
! Q. D. R$ L* w8 H5 Vblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
4 y6 H3 {3 ^1 P6 Hvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
