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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA" q% ?) F+ x0 T- V/ Z4 o
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/ _7 G/ ^6 ^! r 1. Bring your own house.' M& i- i. x1 J) e2 w0 K8 U4 l' l" Q
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and$ _- Y' O7 M: y% i+ P: H
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
T# M9 k8 n+ acapital of Canada .. X f& h8 }* b+ S" i A4 s4 s
% A. b" z9 U% e( m7 Q3 i2 [. b 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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0 m& n' ^' O8 b4 Y- n0 b 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug3 i3 u. n5 F! ^* u
capital of Canada .6 e1 |% f+ I9 l+ B- y
0 k! g! b e9 g/ P8 y 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
# v3 s1 ?, @9 s8 l) j0 ]# I/ \$8.00/hour.. u& B5 w4 t, L( ]" x
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.. \! L0 l! T8 }/ S
) ?) {. k' c) F, y' G 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money m0 Y2 G" \6 _% d2 @8 w
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas) j% l& v2 ?, \. w, r
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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. ?! j/ @, l4 `5 `10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
! l2 w0 t( c3 X: ^" Ahere sick.; N, \ B" o9 o8 `. Q3 G
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
9 i. Q2 s- U0 Y6 U: K- }years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.+ u7 O! P8 t: Z( I6 N8 e9 q1 P; Q
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/ R& q* h7 v: B THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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6 B# q0 J1 c- O: `7 ?1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
1 u" ] H g9 C3 e( |, ^6 Ais from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its: [$ V" f# h# K% \3 z
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
6 q4 G# U5 U# ^/ u; ?' Ymuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
' b3 N- i% J* k. G4 L. ogo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell# v) i7 ?/ k/ m* T9 H
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.# K: Y' O5 L G: v. s
9 b- _; K1 g7 g7 m# y! K7 m& m4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
4 n. V4 Z) h; Lcussed out, and possibly shot.$ d6 k) H4 I, E) p) j8 W. P9 ?
% i4 N& T4 w2 x0 k: O. G5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that, |: N* p/ ~: o% S' k$ X0 l3 x
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour" @3 B1 v. \2 P2 F: K
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
/ j* z6 y* d% eday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
1 a4 C/ n8 n a) J, K1 G& @2 ]$ Z$ smore construction starts everyday.7 g. W/ K) m5 ?5 v2 o$ j8 ]
4 V: D( L H6 q! z* K( N 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,0 |% m$ p2 c6 l, V% h) W8 f
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
- e5 M3 D6 R8 tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.9 a; J& M3 T% M8 o" c, s
' j; o; s! X+ y3 i# @8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
' b+ M6 e3 _/ F# ~the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the l; a: V2 J( |" v
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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. N9 S4 G1 y- |& R9 V2 n10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km' X7 i. e9 q, A( x: X3 z+ }, o
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off". t- m# V) e0 o7 k
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot. ^6 `7 X2 e8 @( Y* Z* O: L
/ Q" S7 S4 i/ f; ^' k8 E11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
+ K! B1 f+ S" z( V5 P' k, Tlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and) h7 J% g1 b2 W; X/ a
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is( B) Y, Z5 q$ g' o' s! G
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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