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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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3 `/ L: x, L1 x4 r8 M" D) t 1. Bring your own house.- R- x' [+ H# R: ^- R
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 H: t. [' r' d' a- |, W) u- d& F
hospital.) N. ]- N9 Y& K' N l% d
- o" n x! {' P* u7 X! W9 k+ q* Q 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder* E0 U; k+ d& a0 a- |& N
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
! _' U1 C/ l) Z) T6 k+ Tcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
6 {, @+ _8 _6 b% w1 a4 D: M! R1 Z$8.00/hour.* j/ I8 x) G8 f. e" w, ~2 ~
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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0 X( J* a8 D5 O! ^4 { 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
" K* Z6 y6 F8 non a 15 year holiday ?
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- z1 z( I" [1 W0 D$ b4 e 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
- N( O% y0 n# ?. Jprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage), ^: }1 D5 w; m" t
9 i/ ]# R" ^: w" g( p10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
- V& H* T q9 S& E! {+ S- yhere sick.! ] M, D4 Z! [9 R
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12% _0 j9 p2 K: R% G
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :6 W$ \7 F9 k- K+ K# }3 ^3 O4 a, I
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour+ T. `, i* E9 x5 P7 [7 h
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.$ C( [! d/ W" H
: h; c4 e' x1 b, G% [8 |3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its* _. C4 ~! A3 j; ^
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest( D# r- D0 [, N. f' |: g/ U9 Q) B
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires! C3 W7 D# f) W! O4 u
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
( j* G/ y! D: m Z7 a2 cphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way., r a' F& X+ X
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
& y. u8 A4 C- Q( B5 x# F# Rcussed out, and possibly shot.+ [ M2 J, [/ ~4 @7 @; b. X
$ \- d+ S/ `2 H, y$ B5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
2 y. j* ^" N$ C3 ?. r. `, Ycan get you shot.2 ~5 {7 a) Y0 x6 K2 v
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
" k2 E: K1 c4 A6 g5 P# J S% Bbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
$ C2 D" F, W2 Y2 C2 Qday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
( F; o \; o: G# _% A8 U7 Zmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,) F( s, I, N3 N4 d7 x* j3 _$ e
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,) p" R/ Y/ P& }$ h4 ~2 ~' d0 r/ p5 D5 O/ F
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all" C1 c9 N1 A4 M0 h( K
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the* p. V- ~6 c0 _ i; b0 u \; \
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally- A4 I0 y. L0 B; k) H
activated.": |( Z) k0 ] e, p! {
f3 B1 C0 j( z; w10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km" S1 g+ X4 D+ j$ A% S- A& P
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off". D# L/ ] _! a) o
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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- U1 w9 @9 \5 m& _# m9 p4 x/ L11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 ^! _3 `4 O* R, }9 X3 [/ ^lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and0 L: k3 t4 @1 F' `- z1 y
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
: V! m C# P& D' g* M# yvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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