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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA; i( w, u' p' f9 N( J. A5 A" j8 V7 Q
) L( i* P0 H9 {. p7 U, `1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
6 N: d3 `9 I9 ]7 X% ~6 ^, r2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
! M# V3 z0 Y8 B3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. ! T0 V+ C: U* A# s7 P( u
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. $ b: b5 }/ o/ g' j5 N/ n& d
5. Weed s& ]5 a4 J4 C7 E$ f, Z2 F* T
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
! }# T4 }/ X4 J5 O( d6 p! r" J! _2. Ottawa who?! o- U- b+ j! z' J) l; a3 U
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. ! ?; [& i& r5 L4 }# ?/ p `
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
6 x4 J: F: a% R3 G1 u5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. , R, d+ L% _. m' E+ J
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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1 i7 z. P/ Q4 U& \" S. E/ iTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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2 H) G4 A4 c* l; P1. You never run out of wheat.
$ i: A5 V: K+ ?! z2. Your province is really easy to draw.
% t5 W. ~4 `" b4 I# O3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
2 U( h0 ?5 z0 {& _4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA ! b* z; f- y8 {9 B5 u
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
`" l5 C# J# u2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. / L8 @) U9 C" r- t8 R! W
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
0 _0 z& |0 s& d% H+ _% j4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. 9 V) |& T/ v) L! {) D. _
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO b$ [( D, Q# j8 A( l! S
7 z, E; z) x8 ^2 o8 p0 y6 F/ w1. You live in the centre of the universe. / P/ n0 [' |& R: o$ K
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
5 m$ D- p0 w' Z& r- Y3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. 7 t2 j5 C3 x3 I7 _/ T* B
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
1 n* M( `1 i& _0 b5 \0 _ V( t3 h2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
6 [. b% W4 X0 x, I8 H. F' [' l& W3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
! i: F9 u* C2 `: D/ j* i/ \' o4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *8 A* O8 w! r3 W8 U- r
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK : c* k4 c) l& E8 v1 e6 u$ s
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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) x. _5 `$ M+ J2 i1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
% A- ]6 m* X0 v% n# z2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. + W. T& v- m& r; {: j
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
" U. r4 M0 p& o# U0 G4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. " K ]2 ^( ^8 j4 J
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. 0 X; n& q5 O! U
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. / J( ^7 i2 r! Q8 L/ R
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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( _4 ~/ s1 ^" E0 A/ k# X1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. ' w5 v5 ]+ s) z5 w N* p
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. 0 |- n; r7 L0 \7 H3 C
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. # y& `4 Y+ ?' Q( q
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 6 L L; q& k- _
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. : [5 C& r1 G& p1 X u& P
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. 2 [! Y# y" ?- M9 Q- I# ?0 g
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% D% c) \5 F& f* B+ @. bTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND 4 A! E8 ` O$ j$ O5 k2 y
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
! _ e# L% u6 [2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
" s+ K' D- O0 S, L1 U+ B! _9 D7 ?3. The workday is about two hours long.
, Y _2 z8 }0 D- g2 Z4 Y$ H4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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